Love and hip hop tokyo vanity

I (18f) have a wonderful boyfriend (20m) and ever since we started dating people assume the worst of me.
I was never an outgoing person. We live in a small, secluded village and I enjoyed reading books more than to turn up to any meetings with friends when I was younger. Sure, as a kid I did stupid things. Like diving my dad's car up a staircase or thinking I was a ice skating queen when I hopped onto our frozen lake, which was, in fact, not as sturdy as little me thought. A little over three years ago I found new friends and I started to hang out with them a lot more. They introduced me to partying, clubs, etc. But I barely drank anything due to me taking up the role of the "therapist friend", who just listens to all these drunkards ranting about anything. And I didn't mind. As far as I am concerned, I never did anything outmost cruel or absurd which could have lead to my family assuming the worst of me nowadays.
Another chunk of information should be that I cannot get on my period, which I am extremely glad of. My mother forced me to go to doctors and I understand she worried. But as they said my body didn't produce the hormones and everything was fine, she didn't stop. She took me to another doctor, who subscribed me pills that could wake my uterus out of its eternal slumber. But who would choose this pain? Not me. These pills lay on my desk untouched even now.
So yes. I never minded to not put myself through crucial pain in order to hold the chance of having kids. Why? Hoho, because I never wanted one.
As soon as I got together with my boyfriend, they all have been saying I am pregnant. Am I? No. First of all, I have several reasons to just know I am not. Second of all, it's totally rude to say "Are you pregnant? You look like it." I am not thin, neither obesely built. My body is- well, my body. I got a little stomach, thicker thighs but if I look at my family they seem to run in the genes honestly. And I do keep my weight in check. For several months I haven't gained one nor lost a pound. And that's fine.
I let it slip for three months because, you know, they come from times where girls getting pregnant was almost a task to some extend. And I can understand their worries seeing how many teenagers in my age (or even below) announce their pregnancy already. But I set them down and just told them to stop.
I am a logical thinking person. First of all, setting up a child in this world is financially expensive as well as extremely dangerous. It could get kidnapped, we could ran bankrupt because of it and my time management doesn't allow a kid to mingle with it. I am not saying I hate children. I respect every parent out there because physically I could not. And even if, the birth and pregnancy itself is harmful and there is a minor chance of miscarrying as the history of my family shows. Then all would have been for nothing and I'd end up forever sad. Yeah, no thanks.
Another thing I valued is my trauma. I didn't grow up in a very loving family. Let's just say, they all had their problems when I was born and they couldn't take care of me the way they should have. I am not angry with them as, now that I am older, I can understand them. However, due to this I simply know I don't have the emotional span of raising a child. I don't want to end up traumatizing another generation. And yes, I am getting therapy. But I think this anger in me? It never burns down and I am far too easily irritated.
That said, I know I cannot bench the responsibilities that come along with a child. I'd rather spent my energy and time on something else. So, yes, I've chosen a childfree life due to multiple reasons both economical and personal.
But this didn't seem to convince my family all too much. My boyfriend, too, doesn't want kids. He had to raise his brothers and he, too, didn't have the childhood he deserved. And he can't see himself becoming a father as well. So, the two of us came to the conclusion we do not want children and if this thought ever changes, we might adopt.
But of course, adoption is not valued in this family. "It won't be like having your own!" they said. "You are wasting the experience," they argued when I brought it up. Hello? But they are the same ones that go, "Having a child is the best thing in the world."
Cool. Cool. Maybe for you but not for me nor my partner.
And yesterday my mother sat beside me and said, "Why don't you take the pills? Or go to another doctor?" I only responded with my usual reasoning. "I don't want to go through unnecessary pain." Which she only clicked her tongue at and said, in the most disgusted and distant voice, "Then live with never having a baby!" Yeah, that's my plan?
Why do people have the audacity to decide what others should feel? Or do? As long as it doesn't harm anyone, it is okay. Sure, you can tell someone to not use violence because it'd harm the other being. But I don't see how me not having a child is causing such pain to anyone.
And I think they all are running mad because whenever they see me, they make up things to see as pregnancy symptoms. "Your belly! It's swollen!" Yes, happens if I have just eaten two plates and a salat? My stomach always bloats after a meal?
I just want them to stop. It's my decision and not worth fighting over. And it's not just a phase either. I've made my decision and that's the end of it. But I think this is not going to be the last I've heard of this... Does anyone's family does the same?? Is this normal?

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Okay this is weird. So, this story is a long time ago, like 6-7 years ago, but its also in the future for us…
German has a specific tense for this, but English has no tense for this…
So, I guess welcome to the close past of the far far future?
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Here is the link to the master-post.
The bus bumped and jostled over the lumpy dirt road.
Inside bodies swayed and juggled back and forth, ramming into walls and steadying themselves against the antiquated seats before them. The bus was old, older than a large portion of dirt, old enough to have rubber tires, shitty suspension, and foam back seats, nothing like the sleek magno buses they used these days.
Clearly their program wasn't important enough to acquire a real transport vehicle.
Their ride from the airport had been nerve wracking to say the least, and only some of it had come from the imminent threat that the bus would disintegrate into its component parts, most of the rest of it had come from the slow building of nervous energy felt by all the young teens as they waited to begin their first day at training.
There were forty of them in all, though less than half of that was predicted to make it through the training and actually become pilots from the program at Trans Space Combative Aviation Academy. Of course, the Academy didn't have its own location, as new as it was and untested as it was, the burgeoning UNSC wasn't likely to spend a ton of funds on a group of untested children. So, they had been shipped onto Del Rio, Texas where the air force flight academy was located, and had been allocated space, some instructors, and a few classrooms to get started.
Adam had found the other recruits from the program nervously waiting outside with their duffel bags and clothing. None of them were over the age of fifteen, and they consisted almost equally of boys and girls.
Adam was displeased to find himself the shortest among the boys, and about mid pack among the girls, a good portion of them probably weighing a good ten pounds more than he did, though none of them were out of shape.
He tried to ignore that, doing his best to make friends with the other nervous recruits, determined not to be the loser this time. Just as long as he didn't show his weirdness to them straight off, maybe he was going to be fine.
It seemed to be working, at least until the bus pulled up, and the group of them stared on with shock and disappointment at the monstrosity before them.
A centuries old bus.
They sort of hoped it wasn't for them, but the ACU clad, army man stepping out of the door and onto the pavement dashed their hopes.
And soon they were on their way, jostling down the highway, eventually cutting through manned security gates, patrolled by armed guards, and finally onto the backroad that was taken around the airfield. Adam had his face pressed up against the window, watching as a set of jets took off, leaving trails of white behind them in the great blue sky above.
The implant in his arm buzzed, and he looked down to see a text from his mother asking if they had landed yet.
He had to apologize for forgetting and assured her that he was, indeed, landed and on his way.
The further they went onto the base, the more people they could see, large muscular men and women running in formation, wearing the same light grey T-shirts tucked into blue canvas shorts.
Voices roared past them as the men chanted in time with their cadence.
Low lying buildings pulled up on the horizon in front of them, crouched together in stumpy lines. Yelled commands wafted through open windows as more recruits rolled past kicking up dirt clouds as they went.
Adam grew nervous upon seeing them, big and adult.
He glanced down at himself and his baggy T-shirt, and jeans held up only by a belt, the cuffs folded up over his shoes.
They belonged to his brothers, but were still too big for him.
The bus rolled to a stop just then, jostling him forward so his face nearly rammed into the seat in front of him. A dust cloud billowed up around them obscuring his vision for a moment. At the front of the bus, the driver reached out and cranked the handle to the door, manually forcing it open.
"Wow, this thing is a real piece of shit."
Someone muttered, while boots thudded onto the stairs, and the entire bus went quiet as a man stepped onto the front of the bus. He was tall, and serious faced with thick eyebrows and what appeared to be a shaved head, though it was mostly covered by a wide brimmed dumbass hat in dark, clashing seriously with his patterned ACUs.
They all waited on the edge of their seats.
Adam shrunk down into his expecting to get yelled at.
That's what all the old army movies told him was going to happen.
Instead, however, the man smiled.
Adam didn't buy it for one second.
"Welcome recruits to the first TSCA Academy class of 4013. I am Master Sergeant Kimball, and I will be one of your MTI (military training instructor) during this program. If you need to address me at any time during this course, you will call me Sir or Master Sergeant Kimball. Now I understand that you may all be tired from your flight. We have recruits here from all across the world coming in right now, so hopefully, today will be easy and relaxing."
Adam eyed the group around him, watching as the others began to relax.
Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all?
Perhaps because they were kids, they had been given some leeway during the training process?
I mean, were they really going to yell at a group of kids barely out of their teenage years?
Surely, they wouldn’t…
"Alright everyone, Unload!"
There was a collective shuffling around the bus as the group of them took to their feet and began slowly shuffling towards the exit. Adam pulled his bag over his back, nearly tipping over backwards as the weight pulled his small frame off balance. Someone put a hand on his shoulder,
”Whoa."
He glanced over and thanked the girl who had helped him, hurrying off the bus and down the stairs into the hot as hell Texas heat.
Stepping off the bus he found Master Sergeant Kimball standing next to two other MTIs, who were smiling at them, though their smiles seemed more wolfish than reassuring.
My what big teeth you have, he thought idly to himself, stepping to the side so the others could walk through.
One boy came trudging down the steps last, lugging an absolutely massive suitcase as a few of the others flopped to the ground, resting against their bags, eyes closed, basking like lizards in the sun.
Sgt. Kimball stepped forward towards the last young man.
"Here let me help you."
The boy seemed rather grateful, handing his bag down to the MTI, taking some weight off his shoulders.
That was until Sgt. Kimball grabbed the zipper, opened the bag and dumped the entire contents of the suitcase into the dirt. He then got right up in the boy's face and shouted.
"NOW WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DO YOU NEED A BAG LIKE THAT FOR!? CHRIST SON, I COULD USE IT TO SMUGGLE YOUR CORPSE OUT WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU."
The entire group jolted with surprise, all of them bolting upwards.
Even Adam was startled, and he had been expecting it. The poor kid was scrambling around in the dirt trying to collect his things,
"GET YOUR ASS OFF THE GROUND YOU SORRY PIECE OF SHIT."
The two other MTIs bore down on them, their charming smiles revealed for what they really were.
Wolf in sheep's clothing, snarling ravening beasts.
More bags were dumped on the ground, turned over, emptied until the contents mingled with the dust on the ground. The female MTI leaped over, ripping Adam's bag off the ground and tossing its contents into the dust. She reached down, picked up a book and chucked it at him, hitting him in the chest as he stumbled back.
"YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TIME FOR READING!?”
She moved on to the next student.
One of the recruits had burst into tears, and the MTI's descended like vultures. One of them grabbed a water bottle from the ground and shoved it at the crying student.
"BETTER GET STARTED ON CRYING ME A RIVER!"
Adam was scrambling to pick up his stuff and shove it back in his bag.
"GET ON YOUR FEET!"
He bolted upright to find Sgt. Kimball in his face, or more looking down on him. His face was red and as he screamed, little droplets of spit flew from his tongue. He gave Adam one long look over.
"GOOD LORD BOY, I'VE TAKEN SHITS MORE SUBSTANTIAL THAN YOU!"
"GO ON CLEAN UP THIS SHIT, IT'S FILTHY! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!? THEN GET YOUR ASSES DOWN TO INTAKE."
He scrambled to put his things in his bag, the MTI's shouting at him the entire time. He nearly tripped over himself multiple times, falling flat on his face in the dirt much to the amusement of the MTIs.
"LEAVE YOUR SHIT HERE!"
He tripped and wobbled, running after the others as they ran towards the building that had been pointed out to them by the screaming MTIs. A few of the other recruits were crying, but Adam, well he had sort of expected it, and honestly, he would have been disappointed if they hadn't. In fact, he found himself grinning from ear to ear as he walked into the equipment room behind a line of other recruits.
The equipment officer turned around from his desk to glare at them. He was a heavy-set man in his late forties with biceps as big around as tree trunks.
He looked them over with a frown before jabbing his finger at Adam.
"You there, smiley. Small or extra small?”
He blushed,
"Errr... Extra... Small?”
"At least he's honest."
The man grouted, turning around to rifle through his equipment, coming back with two pairs of everything in stock. He stacked it on the counter in front of him.
"Two PT uniforms, Two ACUs, two shirts, sweatpants, jacket, gloves, hat, and…"
He pulled up a set of tan combat boots then glanced him up and down.
"What is your shoe size?"
"Er..."
More blushing,
"Six."
The man grunted, ducked back behind the counter,
"We only carry eight plus in men’s, but a seven in women's should work."
He tried not to wilt at the reminder of how small he was.
The man turned away again and motioned him off. He clambered to pick up everything he needed and wobbled away, juggling the boots the pants and the jacket with some difficulty, dropping a glove on the floor and nearly dropping everything else when he went to pick it up.
Walking outside he was met by another MTI, who yelled at him to get his ass to the barracks to change and put all his shit away. He hurried to do as he was told, running and nearly dropping everything again as he made his way through the doors into a large room, lined along either side with beds, a single trunk at the base.
He ran to one of the beds at the far end, opened the crate and placed his things inside, struggling to pull on one of the PT uniforms as the others ran into the room to do the same, throwing their things in the lockers at the base of the beds, as the MTIs continued to scream at them.
It was only as he was running out of the room that he noticed the horrible terrible thing.
Oh no…
Please no…
The extra small pants...
They…
They were too big.
He tried looking for a drawstring to make them tighter, but they were canvas with an elastic waist, and they did not go any tighter. He turned in his spot, trying to figure out what to do, but as soon as he slowed down, another MTI was screaming at him to get back onto the field and line up.
So, he chickened out, holding onto his pants for dear life, as he raced back to the training ground.
Upon making it there he helped the other students line up into evenly spaced rows, thinking that the MTIs might be impressed with them if they were to do that.
They did their best to stand like they were supposed to, though all of the instruction they had ever gotten was from old war movies, and they were all doing it horribly wrong, a fact for which the MTIs noticed and yelled at them for with great glee as soon as they noticed. Of course, they were eventually whipped into shape, standing in line in straight rows, heels together hands at sides, shoulders back.
He could feel his pants slipping, though he was too embarrassed to say anything.
Sgt Kimball stepped out in front of them, hands behind his back.
"What did I say!? Didn't I say we were going to have a fun relaxing day!? Are you having fun!?"
He was right in one of the recruits face, now bellowing almost at the top of his lungs. He moved onto the next student.
"Aren’t you relaxed!?”
Adam didn't think the kid looked particularly relaxed. In fact, he looked so tense, that if he squeezed any harder his spine was going to go shooting out of his ass.
"Well!?”
There was silence on the grounds.
"WELL!?”
Adam scrambled his brain not entirely sure what to do before squeaking out.
"Yes sir."
The MTI leaned in.
"Why don't you try and communicate in normal ranges of human hearing, son. I am not a bat!"
He looked back up at the rest of the group.
"WELL!?"
"YES SIR."
"That's better."
He turned to stalk away from Adam, pacing up and down the line.
"I will be straight with you when I say that today IS going to be fun and relaxing compared to what you will be going through in the next few years. If you manage to make it into this program, I promise you we will destroy your social life, you will have time for nothing other than this program and sleeping, if I decide to allow you to sleep, that is."
Adam was grinning.
Unfortunately, that caught the Sgt's eye.
"THE FUCK ARE YOU SMILING AT!?”
He waited.
Adam just stood there.
"ANSWER THE QUESTION GODDAMMIT!"
"Yes sir, sorry sir! I thought it was a rhetorical question."
"HEAVENS ABOVE HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL. I SAID ANSWER THE QUESTION!"
His mouth opened then closed,
"Er..."
"THE HELL KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT!"
"Um."
"Sweet Jehova did you come out this stupid or is it a family tradition, a side hobby?"
"I'm sorry sir, I forgot the question."
He lowered his head with an exaggerated sigh rubbing his temples,
"Forgot the question. FORGOT THE QUESTION!? I'VE MET GOLDFISH WITH BETTER MEMORIES THAN YOU! I SAID WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SMILING!?"
He blushed,
"Oh... Um."
"HURRY UP!!!”
"BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE FOR YOU TO RUIN, SIR."
That seemed to take the man back, and he simply sat there, staring at Adam with a bemused expression.
*"If you were any more pathetic, smiley, I might just cry for you. Honest to god, if you get any more pathetic, I will cry real tears for your shame." *
He turned away.
"Now everyone get on the ground and give me FIFTY."
At least everyone seemed to know what that meant, though pathetically enough his arms were wobbling at twenty.
"JUMPING JUPITER RECRUIT, I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO MAKE ME CRY IN THE FIRST HALF HOUR. MY COUSIN COULD DO MORE PUSH-UPS THAN YOU AND HE'S GOT NO ARMS!"
The Sergeant seemed to have a lot of disabled relatives.
A blind granny, an armless cousin, a nephew with a pole up his ass from a tragic fishing accident.
By the time they were done, Adam was quite nearly ready to throw up.
"ALRIGHT FIFTY BURPIES GO,GO GO."
Oh no, anything but that!
He paused, but was almost immediately screamed at to get his ass in gear. He knew what was coming before it happened, but he couldn't stop it.
So he accepted his fate…
So long self worth!
As he jumped down into his first plank and then back up, he could feel the waist on his pants slipping, at first just a little, but then, as his feet left the ground there, they went right down around his ankles.
At first, he thought he was at least lucky to be in the back row, but then scrambling to pick his pants back up, he realized none of that was going to matter.
Sgt. Kimball was staring at him, cheek twitching.
He himself was blushing excessively.
He was quiet for a very long time before.
"CONTROL YOURSELF RECRUIT, THE LAST THING I NEED TO SEE IS YOUR CHICKEN LEG FLAT ASS KIDDIE JUNK ON MY TRAINING FIELD. Fuck, as small as you are I'll probably be indited for CP. Now go get some new fucking pants before you blind us all for a second time. And, since it seems you've never seen leg day, I want you to cluck like a chicken all the way there. Let everyone know the pantsless chicken boy is coming!”
He did as he was told, rose red the entire time and beat red on his way back, seeing as, they had given him the smallest size available in mens, so instead he had been given a pair of woman's shorts, which, due to the cut, tended to ride up in very uncomfortable places of his anatomy.
It was a very good thing he was used to embarrassment.
Or this was going to be a very long couple of years…
Hell even with being used to embarrassment this would probably be some interesting years..
[…]
Commander Adam Vir blinked and put a hand to his head, boots throwing up little puffs of dust in the Texas heat.
"You ok Commander?"
He sniffed at the air and took in a deep breath, hands on hips.
"Ah, the memories!"
”What are you remembering Sir?”
”Good times… good times…”
And with these words he stepped out of the hovercar, mumbling to himself.
”I wonder what’s up with Sgt. Kimball, is he still training new recruits? Maybe I’ll see him again…”
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Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

Anyone else still go back to this record? I think it's top 3 Nas, maybe even top 2 (no disrespect to It Was Written). Perfectly executed concept, the first few songs literally sounds like a eulogy to the music he grew up with as he name drops almost every hip hop artist from the 80s. The best produced Nas album since Illmatic, it features beats from an all star lineup of producers. LES, Salaam Remi, Dre, Kanye, Scott Stortch from the Roots, and will.i.am. Despite so many big name producers the album has such a distinct and cohesive sound. Nas reflects on the good ol days on this album but he doesn't sound like an old man yelling at a cloud like Eminem does when he raps about mumble rappers. It does sound like he feels a sense of competition with the dirty south, but he doesn't look at the golden age with rose tinted glasses either, even dissing Sugar Hill Gang and Grand Master Flash on Carry on Tradition. In a way I think this album is Nas reminding us he can go toe to toe with any rapper from any era, which he can, he is the GOAT after all.

I am 29(F) and I met my ex at work, we’ll call him Brad. He was my boss’s brother and he was helping me with my project- I was hired to be the project manager for a new vertical of their business.
We spent 2 months literally joined at the hip doing everything together, talking and catching up on coffees between vendor runs. I started falling for him and he for me. Cut to the launch of the project 7 weeks later, he and I are constantly talking and the evening before the launch he tells me that he’s married with a kid and he loves me as he has never met anyone like me.
I reluctantly go with him for a coffee to hear him out where he tells me how he was pressured into marrying her and they had a kid as he was sick on a deathbed and how he never loved her and they barely shared a loved bond.
We started secretly meeting and going on dates as no one at work or around us could know about our affair. We did this for 3 months, and every time we would go out, he would make me buy him gifts and pay for our dates saying he didn’t have money or had a family to support. In the beginning it was not an issue but then it got too much as I don’t come from money and I also needed to save.
Our 3rd month in, just before our big date on Valentine’s Day, his wife found the phone he used to talk to me with and threatened to leave him. She doesn’t know it was me as he didn’t save my name on that phone. Throughout this ordeal he didn’t tell me anything, just to not message him for a while.
A couple weeks later we started to go on dates again and he kept blaming me for all the pain that he had to go through but in a veiled subtle way. How he was defying his family to be with me and anytime I would try to break it off with him he would emotionally blackmail me saying I was the happiest thing that ever happened to him and how he couldn’t thing of living without me.
I started to do then distance myself. Going out like how I used to, getting drunk and partying as usual. He didn’t like that, as he didn’t drink and in hindsight was exceptionally boring. So we did this back and forth for a couple months where I constantly kept trying to breakup but he just knew what to say.
We are now at 9 months since we started seeing each other and I was done. So I told him I can’t see him and that I was leaving town for a couple days to think it through. So my friend & I took a trip where she introduced me to this man who was amazing. The first time I saw him, he was everything. He was , loving, kind and so so fun. We couldn’t stop talking to each other even if we tried.
When we got back from the trip, I knew I would get married to this man. So I went to work and told my coworker( the ex) that I was set to get married and it was over for real. He kept calling me to go out with him one last time for old times sake and I kept saying no. 2 weeks later the new bf came to my city and proposed to me and we decided to get married in 2 months over that weekend. So I went back to work and handed in my 4 week notice as I would be moving cities, and told brad the same. There was a lot of name calling involved from his end and he made me feel horrible that I cried. Even though he was the one who followed me everywhere and convinced me to date him, he made it seem as if I was the only one in the wrong here. AITA for doing this to Brad?

“It’s not very iconic,” Jack mumbled to himself as he watched the frame of the newest variant of Crawler come together.
Though calling it a ‘Crawler’ was a bit of a misnomer, given that the vehicle didn’t actually crawl. Instead, it would move about on treads. Like a normal tank. Which, while practical, were rather boring to look at.
To make matters worse, Shui would be taking just over half of the iconic older variants of crawler that did actually crawl with her on her journey North. Doing so would allow her force to be entirely mechanized – or horseborne in the case of the cultivators – reducing a journey that would normally take months into one that would take weeks.
Plus, a mountain pass is actually a location where the mechanical legs might see some practical use, he thought.
Shui was certainly pleased about the extra support. While Jack wouldn’t go so far as to say she was giddy, there was certainly a degree of ‘pep’ to her steps as she rushed about the city organizing her new ‘army’. Even the mortal elements, which he got the feeling were normally an afterthought in these kinds of engagements.
She’d be taking fully one third of the militia that An had arrived with a few weeks ago. Ten thousand men and women. As well as fifteen cultivators – who Jack had made sure came from differing Sects. A move that would hopefully keep her from getting up to mischief by turning them against him.
Hopefully.
Ideally, he’d like to say that was why she was taking a contingent of homegrown Jiangshi ‘natives’ – for a given use of the word. The reality was that she was taking the militia because the alternative was a force of spear wielding sect troops, which would be like feeding meat into a grinder.
Which might have been just fine for the Empire, but mortals actually had some innate value to him. To that end, those sect troops still in the city – all fifty thousand of them - were going to be re-equipped and retrained as part of his new Ten Huo army.
Which was why five thousand militia members would be sticking around to train them in turn, while the remaining fifteen thousand returned to the very important task of guarding Jiangshi.
Which was a priority, given that An had all but stripped the province bare of soldiers to create her rescue force – and if they didn’t return soon their absence would be keenly felt.
Of course, this all relies on the Sects giving up their personal armies without a fight, Jack thought. Here’s hoping my most recent lesson in who holds the biggest stick will remain stuck in their mind when I make that announcement…
“Perhaps.” Elwin said from beside him, returning his thoughts to the mundane nature of his latest construct. Not that you’d know it from looking at Elwin. The elf’s arms were crossed as she watched with no small amount of awe as his workshop’s many pneumatic arms worked to bring the tank to life. “That will change though. I have oft found that the iconic nature of a soldier or weapon only grows with their success. And to hear little Lin go on about this machine, it will be very successful indeed.”
Jack hummed, conceding the point. Both Lin and Huang were down in his workshop with them – the two seemingly near inseparable these days for some reason – both huddled over a data-slate as they chatted animatedly about something related to the design.
They were a mismatched pair to be sure, but it seemed that Lin had chosen to take the former princess under her wing. Which was rather ironic, given that she was the goat-kin and Huang was the dragon-kin.
“Do you think Shui’s realized that she won’t actually be spending much of her time up north building her fortress?” he hummed.
“I would worry for her intelligence if she didn’t,” Elwin opined. “And the fact that she’s not battering down your door to demand changes to the manifest she’s been provided suggests she has.”
Jack hummed in agreement. He didn’t doubt that Shui had already noticed that her little taskforce was almost entirely devoid of building materials or craftsmen. Not that she’d want to be lugging stuff like stone or timber halfway across the province when there were plenty of natural resources at her destination.
Still, she’d want craftsmen trailing along with your supply chain though.
As well as nails.
To hear his advisor’s talk about them, you wanted nails by the barrel. To that end they had some. Gao, Ren and An had stressed that no army should ever be without things for even a moment, but they weren’t present in nearly the quantities required to build a mountain fortress like the one he hoped would soon block off the only remaining route into the province – if you ignored the ocean.
Which both Imperials and Instinctives were seemingly content to do.
No, the Pig-kin had probably known from the moment the plan was presented to her that Jack would be waiting for her to arrive at her destination before he flew over in his suit and built a fortress basically overnight.
That thought made him feel better about his decision to put her in charge of the job. It was an important job after all, sealing off the last ‘free’ entrance into his small empire.
I’ll probably want to head back to Jiangshi first to resupply basic building materials when I do head over there, he thought as he made a mental tally of what was currently floating around in his inventory. The thought made him sigh. The sooner I get a train network set up the better.
There was just so much that needed to be done…
He shook his head as he refocused on the task at hand, which was creating the prototype of the new Kang Barrel. A name that had created nothing but confusion for his underlings, but tickled his funny bone.
Not least of all because he hadn’t been the one to come up with the joke.
His microbots were. And while the fact that his microbots were currently capable of making jokes terrified him to his core, he couldn’t deny that they were good at them.
Because truth be told, he’d never wondered why tanks were called ‘tanks’. Though, to be fair, he never wondered why half a dozen other things were named as they were.
As it turned out, the reason tanks had been called what they were was because they’d been smuggled to Europe – or the irradiated zone as it was now known – disguised as water tanks.
Thus, Barrels had seemed an apt name for his own variant – even if no one but him got the joke.
Hell, that just made it funnier to him.
“So, how are things coming with your apprentices?” he asked the elf.
Smiling, the woman was about to respond when Ren rushed in, looking more frantic than usual. Which was a rather impressive feat given that she’d spent the last few weeks effectively running his city for him and was normally operating somewhere between totally overwhelmed and barely hanging on.
“Where are your formal robes, master!?” the merchant all but hissed. “I told you the ceremony would be starting in a few hours!”
Jack glanced over at a nearby clock.
“Ah… I knew I was forgetting something.”
Not that it mattered, he didn’t care what Ren said about tradition.
He was going in his armor.
--------------\
“With that, I present your new magistrate,” an older man called out to the crowds below.
The male cultivator was actually the oldest looking cultivator Jack had ever seen. The man was a craftsmen, a well respected one. And he was also the one who had been in charge of creating the staff that ostensibly controlled the city’s runic defenses.
And keying them to Jack.
Theoretically.
That wasn’t how it had gone down – and the other man had made it abundantly clear what he thought of this change in tradition.
Jack didn’t care then and he didn’t care now.
Which was why he ignored the other man’s stinkeye as he stood up from his throne and strode over to the balcony.
“The Empire has abandoned us.”
His first words were solemn, yet they rolled over the crowd below without trouble. A feat accomplished by a few carefully positioned loud speakers.
Which might have been why, despite the distance between him and the throngs of… not quite human mortals and cultivators below, he could almost hear the audible intake of breath that followed his statement.
Criticizing one’s superiors really wasn’t done in the empire, by virtue of the fact that said superior was usually your superior because they were entirely capable of lopping your head off. If they weren’t, you’d be the superior.
Again, certain parallels between the Instinctive hordes and the Empire leapt to Jack’s mind.
“The Empress has abandoned us. Time has dulled her edge. Corruption has infested her courts. Lethargy pervades her armies. And now, like an ape grasping for a branch as it plummets to its doom, the Empress pulls tight on her outer provinces in a desperate attempt to arrest her fall.”
It helped that what he was saying was mostly true. Or so he assumed. Because he’d yet to meet a system of power that wasn’t at least a little corrupt.
Silence was the only response he received to his words though.
Which, again, was to be expected. While the Empress wasn’t a ‘goddess’ in the religious sense of the word – the empire as a whole was surprisingly secular in that regard, focusing instead on something Jack would have described as Pseudo-Buddhism – she was also one of the founders of the Empire.
Again, not someone you criticized for long before you found yourself suddenly a few feet shorter from the top down.
Fortunately, Jack had a secret weapon.
“Yet Ten Huo only grows in power!”
That was the signal for the doors to the palace to open, and from them cart after cart of sizzling pigs, cows and whole chicken were wheeled forward. Prepared by the palace’s chefs, they’d done an incredible job with the task they’d been given. Even from his position up high on the balcony Jack found the smell intoxicating as it wafted up to him.
Fortunately, the line of sect troops guarding the front of the palace held steady as the crowd almost unconsciously surged forward at the sight of such a feast.
Really hope no one’s going to get crushed in that, he thought.
That was why he had a few cultivators on standby who would use directed burst of killing intent anywhere the press of bodies got too tight. The effectiveness of which Jack had been a little dubious of, but it was apparently a tried and tested method for ‘delicately’ dealing with unruly crowds.
Personally, Jack would have preferred to use his own troops, but Ren had quite reasonably pointed out that when it came to keeping crowds of agitated mortals in line, none were better than the personal armies of the sects.
…Or the Imperial army – but most of them were dead now.
That didn’t mean he’d come completely unprotected. His own troops had emptied out the palace of all courtiers and Sect guards hours ago in preparation for his speech. A feat that would have been impossible mere days ago, but it seemed that his little display to the Sect leaders had the effect he’d intended it to, because the cultivators present on the premises hadn’t even made a single peep of complaint as they were ordered out by a bunch of mere mortals.
Albeit, mere mortals who had An commanding them.
“We must cast off the shackles that have for so long held us back!” Jack announced. “This is not about power. Not about greed. Or pride. It is about survival!”
This time he got roars of approval – though whether that was down to his words or the food that was now being passed out to the crowd, he couldn’t say.
It didn’t really matter. It was about the optics of the thing. When people looked back on this moment, they would remember the cheering. And that would mean it had to have been a good thing, right?
“Ten Huo must grow. Must cultivate it’s strength. Must power through the troubles ahead,” he roared. “Which we have. Through our guards. Through our walls. Through our cultivators. And through our gonnes. Through those things we broke the back of the horde and slew their false dragon. And it is through the power of those things that we might beat back any foe that might threaten our home.”
He raised his fist high – and at the correct moment, his Red Dragon armor flared into being, the feathers atop fluttering proudly in the wind. “Ten Huo forever! Against all that might come! Together we are strong!”
Perhaps it was just his imagination, but that time the cheers felt more genuine. A chant even started.
“Ten Huo! Ten Huo! Ten Huo!”
“To that end, I intend to correct some of the failures of the old regime! Firstly, I shall be cutting the mortal guard force of our city’s sects down to one tenth their current size.”
That caused a stir, not just from the cultivators who were stood on the nearby pavilions, but from the rearmost ranks of the sect guard that were currently holding back the crowd while simultaneously handing out food.
Which made sense, he was currently discussing their livelihoods. The only thing that separated them and their families from the desperate crowds in front of them. Because while the city wasn’t quite close to starving as a result of the recent hostilities, it was true that a great many households were now tightening their belts.
Service in the Imperial Army or Sects provided some degree of protection from that reality.
“And from those men and women, I shall forge a new force. A grand Ten Huo army to rival that of the decrepit Empire. Well trained. Well armed. Professional soldiers. An expansion and revitalization of the Jiangshi militia that saved this city all those weeks ago.”
That seemed to silence much of the hesitation that had formed in the sect troops. The crowd though was all for it, whooping and hollering at the idea of more troops of the ilk that had so captured the city’s love with their arrival into it.
“I do this not out of contempt for the sects but out of love. With this I free them from the responsibility of policing the city. Of dealing with the mundane details of the mortal world. I free them to focus on their one true goal; the pursuit of cultivation and immortality.”
More importantly, it would make a coup significantly less likely to be successful later down the line. Or at least, less viable. Because as potent as cultivators were, they were still just individuals. They had more in common with fighter craft than infantry. They could take ground and destroy targets, but they couldn’t be expected to hold it without support.
Support Jack fully intended to cut out from under them while claiming he was doing them a favor. And while he could certainly see some idiots in the pavilion nodding along with the idea of ‘freeing themselves from the need to deal with mortals’, most of the leadership was rightly frowning at the thought of losing their ability to project power into the city.
Without mortal soldiers to form a buffer around them, they would effectively be besieged within their compounds.
Yet even as he could see them slowly considering raising some form of stink over it, he could also see them glancing over to the empty seat in their lineup where the Silver Paw sect might have stood.
No, they might make a perfunctory fuss, but they’d do as he told them. This was the ideal time for him to make a move like this. It was almost expected.
To be sure, he knew some would cause some form of trouble over this move, but that trouble would be a lot easier to deal with when he tripled the number of soldiers he had at his command within the city.
Down below, Jack could see the distant figure of Gao – and a small application of magnification showed the man was looking rather pale. Which made sense, given the massive task Jack had just slammed down in front of him. An, for her part, looked positively giddy about the whole thing. Ren just looked… tired and unsurprised, as if more work appearing on her lap was just to be expected where Jack was concerned. Elwin looked disinterested in the whole thing, which was par for the course.
Lin and Huang were… nowhere to be seen?
Huh, he thought.
For just a moment he was worried something might have happened, but a quick glance at the trackers attached to them – via some ‘gifts’ of jewelry – showed the pair were back at his compound. In the same room even.
Very close.
Probably caught up in some science experiment, he thought with a small smile.
“Yet what is a mortal army without a core of cultivators?” Jack continued. “Am I to demand a tithe from the sects that have already given so much? To both me and this city?” He shook his head. “Nay.”
He stretched out his arm, and with perfect timing a dozen figures dropped from the windows of the palace, landing perfectly behind the sects guards in a crouched position.
They were clearly cultivators – yet they didn’t look like them. For one thing, they were armored. From head to toe. Gleaming steel armor that was inlaid with protective runes.
It wasn’t as comprehensive as metal plate would be. Gaps existed to allow for great locomotion from the user. Yet it was still more armor than any cultivator would ever be caught wearing.
Because in the local parlance, armor was a sign of weakness. A lack of confidence in ones skills and cultivation.
Or at least, that had been the case until Jack showed up.
The next thing about them was that they were uniform. Perfectly so. Only the weapons were different. Some had glaives. Some had swords. Others axes. The only commonality there were the revolvers at their hips.
He didn’t doubt they looked absurd to the cultivators in the pavilions, each of them dressed differently to their fellows, with only a small adherence to their sect colors to mark their allegiance. Because cultivators didn’t do uniforms.
They were warriors. Heroes. Not soldiers.
Or at least, they weren’t, Jack smirked.
He raised both arms high above his head.
“I demand nothing of the sects, for volunteers have already shown up to be part of this great army. Ready to give their lives. Their souls. Their very identities to protect our great Ten Huo!”
Jack slammed his fist down onto the banister, letting the loud thud echo across the courtyard.
“I present to you, the Steel Paw!”
For the first time since they had arrived, the mystery cultivators stood up, their blue cloaks fluttering in the winds as they pulled back their hood to reveal not faces, but helms.
Helms shaped like a snarling tiger.
First / Previous / Next
Another three chapters are also available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bluefishcake
We also have a (surprisingly) active Discord where and I and a few other authors like to hang out: https://discord.gg/RctHFucHaq

Well this came out of nowhere
I’m 27 and ever since I was 7 years old my family has had a family dog.
One of them is still alive and as happy and rambunctious as ever. His name is Tristan and He’s 14 (we rescued him when he was one).
He and I spent 7+ years home every day together when I was working from home and then in college
I moved out a year and a half ago at 26 to a town 200 miles away. Tristan still lives in my childhood house with my parents.
I spent the last two months searching / applying.
But this week I was matched with and brought home Sprout.
The Humane Society found him on the side of the road outside Pittsburgh. They held him for a week to 10 days and no one came. He wasn’t neutered and didn’t have a chip.
They named his Brussel Sprout.
He’s a sweet little 3 year old half pug / half Brussels Griffon.
But what I wasn’t expecting was the wave of emotions that would wash over me when I got home with him.
Sprout is EXTREMELY well trained in every way. It’s scary how perfect he is.
He’s used to being in a crate (he seemed to know exactly what it was, hopped right in, and went to sleep on the way home), loved being in the car, is 100% house trained, and knows almost all basic commands.
But it’s that realization brought on the first tears - the fact that someone / a family obviously took amazing care of him (before he got away) and loved him.
My good cry came from some sort of wave of guilt that I’m letting Tristan down somehow.
Tristan is / was very protective and territorial.
He’s getting better / gentler as he gets older but the thought of me never being able to see him again happy is tearing me up inside.
Then there’s the imposter syndrome / guilt.
This little guy is definitely a Velcro dog.
Tristan is a love bug but as a Shih Tzu / Bichon he’s also very, very independent. He’ll lick you to death for a minute but wasn’t into being right next to you or on you.
He’d always find his own thing to do in the house when you were home and didn’t need constant contact.
I guess that’s why I never really worried or thought twice about leaving the during the day
Sprout’s breed needs constant touch / contact and I’m worried I’m not good enough for some reason after spending time with him. (It’s been less than 24 hours).
He slept on me all night.
I’m terrified that I’ll be letting him down if I leave for a few hours.
I know this is a lot for Reddit but has anyone else worked through similar feelings / emotions?

Hip hop group with a woman singer from 2000's. All about burning everything in the house to keep a light on so her lover can find his way home. Song name and artist?

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Well this came out of nowhere
I’m 27 and ever since I was 7 years old my family has had a family dog.
One of them is still alive and as happy and rambunctious as ever. His name is Tristan and He’s 14 (we rescued him when he was one).
He and I spent 7+ years home every day together when I was working from home and then in college
I moved out a year and a half ago at 26 to a town 200 miles away. Tristan still lives in my childhood house with my parents.
I spent the last two months searching / applying.
But this week I was matched with and brought home Sprout.
The Humane Society found him on the side of the road outside Pittsburgh. They held him for a week to 10 days and no one came. He wasn’t neutered and didn’t have a chip.
They named his Brussel Sprout.
He’s a sweet little 3 year old half pug / half Brussels Griffon.
But what I wasn’t expecting was the wave of emotions that would wash over me when I got home with him.
Sprout is EXTREMELY well trained in every way. It’s scary how perfect he is.
He’s used to being in a crate (he seemed to know exactly what it was, hopped right in, and went to sleep on the way home), loved being in the car, is 100% house trained, and knows almost all basic commands.
But it’s that realization brought on the first tears - the fact that someone / a family obviously took amazing care of him (before he got away) and loved him.
My good cry came from some sort of wave of guilt that I’m letting Tristan down somehow.
Tristan is / was very protective and territorial.
He’s getting better / gentler as he gets older but the thought of me never being able to see him again happy is tearing me up inside.
Then there’s the imposter syndrome / guilt.
This little guy is definitely a Velcro dog.
Tristan is a love bug but as a Shih Tzu / Bichon he’s also very, very independent. He’ll lick you to death for a minute but wasn’t into being right next to you or on you.
He’d always find his own thing to do in the house when you were home and didn’t need constant contact.
I guess that’s why I never really worried or thought twice about leaving the during the day
Sprout’s breed needs constant touch / contact and I’m worried I’m not good enough for some reason after spending time with him. (It’s been less than 24 hours).
He slept on me all night.
I’m terrified that I’ll be letting him down if I leave for a few hours.
I know this is a lot for Reddit but has anyone else worked through similar feelings / emotions?

Hi everyone!
As title says, I'm gonna give another chance to the albums I like the least. This is the first of the the three other posts I'm going to write, as the albums I'd like to review are Origins, Evolve and Mercury Act 2.
Today I begin with Origins, not for any particular reason, but just because it's the albums I've been listening lately.
Here, I write a small review for each of the tracks and at the end I decide my final "verdict".
Also, don't take this review too seriously, as I won't go too much into technical details and I'd like to write something funny.
So, let's begin!
Natural: Among the other tracks, I think Natural works well as the album opener. I truly was into this song when I first discovered ID but now it feels to me a bit formulaic and shallow in lyrics. Overall, it's not that bad, but I've just got used to that sound.
Boomerang: It's the track that opens up to the "Origins Vibe". Many other songs from this album have these syncopated drum beats. I like how they've tried to be modern by experimenting with drum samples.
Machine: That's the track I considered to be one of the "rock songs" from Imagine Dragons, but I guess that my idea of rock music has changed over the years. Rhythmically it sounds like "We Will Rock You" by Queen, and that's probably the case considering that ID have always tried to make the definitive 21st century arena rock anthem. Lyrically it's as "edgy" as other lyrics I've heard from other modern pop-rock bands like Twenty One Pilots and so on. Definitively, it's not one of my favourite from that album.
Cool Out: I'm not as a pophead as I was before, but honestly it doesn't sound to me that bad. It's not the song that can revolutionize the pop music scene, but it feels... fresh (no pun intended). The production is pretty good for this kind of pop music and the drum samples are pretty unique. I'd rather listen to this kind of music rather than a generic pop-rock song that tries to be edgy.
Bad Liar: Ah, yes. The popular one. This is the song that made me discover ID. The production is coherent to other songs from this album, and that's good. At the end, it's another self-blaming ID song with pretty lame lyrics, but I must thank this song and radio stations for making me discover this band.
West Coast: It reminds me of some acoustic songs from Avicii and I bet my life. It's ok, but it's not the strongest track from the album.
Zero: Ah, yes. The Disney one. But honesty, it's not bad! I can definitively hear some reminisces of the old post-punk revival ID in there! I also love to listen to an ID song with this high-level professional production. Perhaps I'm crazy but, probably due to the drums, it also sounds like one of those post-soviet songs but just slightly overproduced, ahah. Would I listen to this song on my own? Well, no. But it's actually a funny song!
Bullet In A Gun: This song unveils Dan Reynolds' hip-hop background. It's essentially a pop-trap beat with lyrics about celebrity issues and how people have high expectations of them. It's not that great in my opinion, but they've tried to be experimental.
Digital: I don't get what's the purpose of that song as it sounds like a demo for the Ralph Breaks the Internet soundtrack which didn't made out. I can say that it's pretty experimental and the "they been saying the same thing" bridge somehow sound like a Radiohead song from the In Rainbows era? I know it's a strech, but I can hear that they've tried to bring something unique.
Only: Like I said for Cool Out, this is another fresh pop song from Origins. I would have loved this if I found it out during my EDM phase. The production it's yet again very polished and Ben's bare ass worked out pretty well!
Stuck: Omg, how's this possible. I know it has become a cliche, but this sounds to me like another 🌈 ID Children's music song 🌈. No, I'm not crazy, take a listen to this italian children's music song and you can find out that it's virtually similar to Stuck. They're even both in F Major and 115 BPM! Please, don't mind too much, I'm just a crazy listener with weird life experiences...
Love: It's just a generic love song called... "Love". Probably that's the beginning of the cheesy ID phase in MA1 and MA2. What a unique song title, btw.
Birds: Ohh, that was my song! This is instead the song which unveils ID morbid obsession with death. The production is yet again coherent with other songs in Origins. I also like the animated music video they made for this song.
Burn Out: I love the rythm of the piano and these kind of fooley samples truly makes this album. Lyrics are also quite interesting though.
Real Life: It didn't grow up on me and it was also the hardest one to review. It's another upbeat Imagine Dragons song about loss of faith and personal relationships.

The verdict

This is probably the most experimental album from Imagine Dragons along with Mercury. It's a coherent and fluid album but, although it could have been an interesting release, this kind of experimentation hasn't took off the stigma of generic radio songs that ID suffer from.
Overall, for me it's a 6/10 as there some tracks which have surprised me positively.
Next time, I'll try to reconsider Evolve and see if it's really as bad as I remember it to be. So, see you later!

Well this came out of nowhere
I’m 27 and ever since I was 7 years old my family has had a family dog.
One of them is still alive and as happy and rambunctious as ever. His name is Tristan and He’s 14 (we rescued him when he was one).
He and I spent 7+ years home every day together when I was working from home and then in college
I moved out a year and a half ago at 26 to a town 200 miles away. Tristan still lives in my childhood house with my parents.
I spent the last two months searching / applying.
But this week I was matched with and brought home Sprout.
The Humane Society found him on the side of the road outside Pittsburgh. They held him for a week to 10 days and no one came. He wasn’t neutered and didn’t have a chip.
They named his Brussel Sprout.
He’s a sweet little 3 year old half pug / half Brussels Griffon.
But what I wasn’t expecting was the wave of emotions that would wash over me when I got home with him.
Sprout is EXTREMELY well trained in every way. It’s scary how perfect he is.
He’s used to being in a crate (he seemed to know exactly what it was, hopped right in, and went to sleep on the way home), loved being in the car, is 100% house trained, and knows almost all basic commands.
But it’s that realization brought on the first tears - the fact that someone / a family obviously took amazing care of him (before he got away) and loved him.
My good cry came from some sort of wave of guilt that I’m letting Tristan down somehow.
Tristan is / was very protective and territorial.
He’s getting better / gentler as he gets older but the thought of me never being able to see him again happy is tearing me up inside.
Then there’s the imposter syndrome / guilt.
This little guy is definitely a Velcro dog.
Tristan is a love bug but as a Shih Tzu / Bichon he’s also very, very independent. He’ll lick you to death for a minute but wasn’t into being right next to you or on you.
He’d always find his own thing to do in the house when you were home and didn’t need constant contact.
I guess that’s why I never really worried or thought twice about leaving the during the day
Sprout’s breed needs constant touch / contact and I’m worried I’m not good enough for some reason after spending time with him. (It’s been less than 24 hours).
He slept on me all night.
I’m terrified that I’ll be letting him down if I leave for a few hours.
I know this is a lot for Reddit but has anyone else worked through similar feelings / emotions?

Hi everyone!
Are there any native Koreans who would like to chat with me and kind of teach me how Korean people chat? I took TOPIK last year and I was level 3 so I know a little Korean but I have a really hard time producing the language (writing, speaking). I feel like what I need at this point is to get into contact with the natıve speakers as the way that I study does not help me with it.
A few things about me: 23, she/her, bi (I don't want this to sound like I am looking for partners but I think knowing these about me might be crucial before deciding whether you want to be my friend or not)
I really like Korean cuisine, K-pop, K-hip-hop, K-indie, movies, reality shows, cooking, reading, etc. so I'm just a regular person who has plans to study in Korea. I hope we get along well.

hey indore,
i am in the city for like, two days, and i have a bumble match i’m excited to take out on a date tonight
i’d love me some recommendations of a hip place with some real nice music and fancy young-adult crowd
also a few suggestions about what else can i do in the city would be nice
thank you folks :)

Sometimes a band gets so big that they somehow outshine themselves. They reach a point in their career where it does not matter if they release a new album or not; fans just want to see them tour. No one gave a damn that Led Zeppelin had not released a new album since the 1970’s; everyone just wanted to see them play again at the O2 Arena in 2007. When The Who played the Super Bowl halftime show in 2010 they had only released one new album in 28 years, and no one cared. And no one cares that Guns & Roses aren’t making new music. They still packed arenas to see how much cake Axl had packed into himself.
We’re going to take a dive into a blues power trio from down south who have zero need to release any new music, since their recording career stretches back over five decades. They had amazing and groundbreaking success in the ‘70s, the ‘80s, and the ‘90s before hitting the max level. Instead of playing to win, they now play for fun. Their sexually charged lyrics and videos inspired generations of teens to both dress better and worry about their fly. And you can bet that their fuzzy, bluesy tight sound had a huge impact on our very own desert dwellers.
It’s time for us to take a walk with That Little Ol’ Band from Texas. This week’s featured artist is the legendary ZZ TOP
About Them
The Power Trio is a tested and true format for a rock band. Lots of examples come to mind: Cream. Rush. The Police. Biffy Clyro. King Buffalo. Them Crooked Vultures. (Wait a sec. Just three members? Clearly, not everything is bigger in Texas.)
There is a member joke there somewhere, but I just can’t get it to come. Hmm. Perhaps it will come if you play with it a bit.
Hey! Stop that. Get your mind out of the gutter.
ZZ Top’s original and founding member was William Frederick Gibbons. Born in Houston in 1949, the front man was originally a drummer but, after studying with Tito Puente in New York City, picked up the guitar at age 13. His dad was a musician in show business, which allowed Billy to get an insider’s view of the industry. By the late ‘60s, he had been in and founded a number of bands and had even befriended the late great James Marshall Hendrix. One of his first bands, a psychedelic/art house band called The Moving Sidewalks, toured with the Jimi Hendrix Experience. This meant that Gibbons was actually mentored by Snagglepuss himself. They also toured with The Doors, where Gibbons saw the legendary self-destructive band somehow manage to rise above conflict and make music every night. The Moving Sidewalks generated a following all of its own with a couple of hit songs, and things seemed to be headed in the right direction.
Things were going absolutely great until bassist Don Summers and keyboard player Tom Moore were drafted into the army to fight in Vietnam. Don't you just love the ‘60s?
Gibbons and drummer Dan Mitchell added a new keyboard player, Lanier Greg, and tried to make another run at it. But the chemistry was all wrong. Gibbons rechristened the band as ZZ Top (an homage to BB King), and declared that he wanted more of a straight up rock approach than the art-house kaleidoscopic sound.
Gibbons, Mitchell, and Greg (isn’t it weird when last names are also first names too?) recorded the single Salt Lick in 1969. This generated a bunch of interest and a recording contract. Decisions over the direction of the band ensued and it quickly became clear that Mitchell and Greg did not agree with Gibbons’ hard rock approach. That ended up being a poor life decision for them, but a great one for a couple of other guys.
Clearly, Gibbons needed a new rhythm section.
Fortunately, he found a package deal.
Dusty Hill and Frank Beard - also both born in 1949 - had been playing together on the Dallas-Houston-Fort Worth circuit in a number of bands, including The Warlocks, The Cellar Dwellers, and a fake cover band called The Zombies. Both the Duster and the (then ironically) beardless Beard also heard the siren call of rock and roll. Hill was classically trained and was an accomplished cello player before moving to his signature bass. Frank ‘Rube’ Beard appears to have been born with drumsticks in his hands (which I imagine might have been uncomfortable for his mom).
Beard joined the band first, along with bassist Billy Ethridge, who had played with Stevie Ray Vaughn. Ethridge balked at signing a contract and so joined Mitchell and Greg on the list of ZZ Top’s former members. Their lineup was set. Hill and Beard anchored the band in a rock-solid, tight, bluesy fashion. Gibbons meshed perfectly with this duo, and his Hendrix-inspired guitar work was on another level. Hill provided backing vocals, and Gibbons’ low throaty growl was an impressive counterpoint to his soaring fretwork. The talent was all there; now they just needed to record some music.
But success was not instantaneous, not by a long shot.
Their first album - appropriately called ZZ Top’s First Album - gives insight into who the band were to become. In this 1971 release, you can hear their raw sound. The record peaked at 201 on the charts, and had only one single - (Somebody Else Been) Shaking Your Tree. It did give them material to go out and tour. The boys gelled on that tour and went back into the studio with renewed energy, and emerged with 1972’s Rio Grande Mud. The disc was a step forward in refining their sound. The album almost cracked the top 100, and the only single - Francine - went all the way to number 69.
Nice.
But the band knew that their third album, Tres Hombres, was something special. It is the epitome of Southern Rock: bluesy, fast paced, sexy, and irreverent, it is just over half an hour of pure magic. And while the album went gold and peaked at number 8 on the charts and is worth your time, it was one particular single that rocketed them to stardom. You know it and you love it, and a-how-how-how-how: La Grange. It is still in heavy rotation on classic rock stations today. And why not? The song is an absolute banger of boogie woogie blues, written about a visit to a whorehouse. What’s not to love?
La Grange propelled them to popularity. Tours sold out. Venues got bigger and bigger. 1975’s follow up album, Fandango!, was half live album (with some covers) and half new material - like an EP with bonus tracks. They covered the Elvis Presley classic Jailhouse Rock, Willie Dixon’s Mellow Down Easy, and John Lee Hooker’s Long Distance Boogie. The boys had rock and blues chops, and had 5 years of touring experience. These were bold statements that cemented their musicality as well as honoring their roots. But side two of the disc had another track that you’ve come to love. You ain’t asking for much: You’re just lookin’ for some Tush. Tush was the perfect sexually charged follow up to ensure that they were not one-hit wonders. It was written in a ten-minute spasm of creativity at a sound check, and has gone on to be one of their most popular songs.
While Tush topped the charts, ZZ Top went back into the studio to record their full length follow up, 1976’s Tejas. The name of the album means ‘friends’ in the Indigenous Caddo language, and was the basis for the name of the state. You know what that means? It means that the name of the state is ‘Friends’. Just like the ‘90s sitcom. Don’t mess with Friends. Anyways, this was an album of experimentation for the band, and unlike its predecessor it came out half baked at best. Billy Gibbons has called it a transition album. What actually happened is the band transitioned into a hiatus from touring and recording, taking some significant time off. They had recorded five albums in six years and spent virtually all their time on the road. The latest effort was just not up to their standards and was a step back. It also completed their recording contract.
What was the solution to this burn out?
Facial hair of course.
The boys took a few years off before landing another recording contract, this time with Warner. Over those months, both Gibbons and Hill grew what would become their signature long ‘Texas Goatee’ beards. Frank Beard did not grow a beard (though he did finally succumb to peer pressure from his bandmates in 2013, and his is much more neatly trimmed). So while they were resting/relaxing/getting their groove back/aligning their chakras or whatever, they also started to reinvent their signature sound as the world moved towards a decade of legendary excess.
The first step on this reinvention journey was 1979’s Degüello. The title literally means ‘decapitation’ but idiomatically refers to a fight to the death. Clearly, the band decided to tackle their transition head on. The album was not as successful as Tres Hombres or Fandango!, but it was not the flop that Tejas was. It did spawn a couple of singles - I Thank You (which was a cover) and the signature hit Cheap Sunglasses. Both are staples at ZZ Top concerts to this day. Degüello was quickly followed up in 1981 by the album El Loco. This was really the first time ZZ Top incorporated a synthesizer into their sound. As you know, the synth was THE new wave sound of the 1980s. Gods help us, keytars were once popular. But Gibbons, Hill, and Beard did not abandon their edge. The single Pearl Necklace was an immensely popular innuendo laced tune from this album. And no, I will not explain what a pearl necklace is to you.
Ask your mom.
Over the course of their first seven albums, ZZ Top had steadily grown in popularity and become a truly extraordinary live band. More than a decade of touring together meant that they had not just cut their teeth. They had found the Tooth Fairy, beaten her senseless, and added fangs to their jaws. They were ready to tackle whatever came their way.
Their huge breakthrough coincided with the birth of music videos and MTV. 1983’s Eliminator was an absolute monster of an album. ZZ Top were everywhere. They completely embraced the Music Video as a medium and became pioneers in this new genre. They branded their band with a 1933 fire-engine red Ford Coupe, which was on the cover of the album. They even had a signature hand gesture that they used as the car went by. The car belonged to Billy Gibbons and embodied his hot rod obsessions. It was featured in the videos for Gimme All Your Lovin’, Sharp Dressed Man, and Legs. Other singles from the album included Got me Under Pressure and TV Dinners. Eliminator is still the band’s most successful album. They were at the absolute height of their popularity with a massive audience. No doubt the 10-year-old Joshua Michael Homme watched those videos on a small screen in the California desert, little knowing that he would one day collaborate with Gibbons.
Seeking to capitalize on the popularity, the band went back into the studio and released Afterburner in 1985. It featured the signature hot rod on the cover and spawned two more singles - Sleeping Bag and Velcro Fly. Afterburner was not an innovative album by any stretch of the imagination. It simply built on the success of Eliminator and replicated the sound. If you blended the two albums together it would be very difficult for a novice fan to guess which song came from which disc. But hell, when you release the most popular album of your career and are earning millions of dollars for that sound, it is not time to mess with success. Or with Texas. Or with Friends (though Ross was a pain in the ass, IMHO).
That desire to not screw up a good thing was also evident in their next release, the retrospective re-release Six Pack. This was a great way to earn some bucks with a simple repackaging of existing tracks - I’m looking at you, K-Tel… - and introducing them to another generation of fans. This was not a bad thing at all - you gotta get that green whenever you can, because fame can be fleeting.
ZZ Top closed out the decade by going Back to the Future. Literally. They appeared in the third installment of the Michael J. Fox trilogy as the olde-timey house band (complete with rotating guitars) in the saloon scene. The single and signature song from the movie, Doubleback, appeared on their 1990 release Recycler. The album spawned two more singles: My Head’s in Mississippi and Concrete and Steel. Recycler was not as successful as its predecessors, but it did effectively max level the band. In the 1970’s they were a scuffling bar band that hit it big. In the 1980’s they were one of the most popular bands of the MTV generation. And in the 1990’s they achieved superstardom. They had hit the level where it truly no longer mattered if they ever released new material again. They could simply tour on their back catalogue alone and sell out stadiums.
It is clear that the band realized this as well. In the thirty years since Recycler came out, they have released five albums of new material: Antenna in 1994, Rhythmeen in 1996, XXX in 1999, Mescalero in 2003 and the critically acclaimed and Rick Rubin produced La Futura in 2012. This was equivalent to their output in their first six years.
In contrast, they have released no less than eight greatest hits albums, cover albums and live albums in the same time span. Greatest Hits came out in 1992. One Foot in the Blues was released in 1994. The massive compilation Chrome, Smoke & BBQ came out in 2003, and is a fantastic place to start if you are a new fan. Rancho Texicano was released in 2004, Live from Texas came out in 2008, and Double Down Live hit shelves in 2009. Live at Montreaux came out in 2013 and Tonite at Midnight: Live Greatest Hits from Around the World was released in 2016.
As recently as 2019, there were rumors that a new album was in the works for our Septuagenarian heroes. Lord knows the boys from Texas have nothing left to prove to anyone.
It was then that tragedy struck. Dusty Hill had to leave the band during a tour in 2021. The reason given was a hip injury. His guitar tech, Elwood Francis, filled in. Shockingly, Hill died at home at the age of 72 just five days after leaving the tour.
Fans were shocked and mourned the stalwart bassist. Per his wishes - and it seems he knew something wasn’t quite right - ZZ Top did not break up. Francis replaced Hill on bass, and the band soldiered on. In 2022, they released Raw, a soundtrack for a 2019 documentary about them. This was Hill’s final release.
You can still catch them on tour. They are going to be out there this summer, touring with Lynyrd Skynyrd, for something they are calling ‘The Sharp Dressed Simple Man’ Tour.
Go buy some tickets. Don’t miss your chance to see a truly iconic band before they are gone.
Links to QOTSA
The Reverend Billy F. Gibbons was a big part of the Lullabies to Paralyze album by our Desert Dwellers. He played guitar and provided backing vocals on Burn the Witch. He was co-lead vocalist and lead guitar on the QotSA cover of Precious and Grace, which he originally released as a ZZ Top tune on the Tres Hombres album. He also provided the guitar stylings for Like a Drug.
But the connections don't stop there. Billy sang the lead vocal track on the recent Desert Sessions tune Move Together, and he played guitar on Noses in Roses, Forever.
What may be most important to QotSA fans is that Gibbons was the first person, almost two years ago, who hinted that Queens were working on a new album.
And now we know he was right. Never doubt a Reverend.
Their Music
Salt Lick
(Somebody Else Been) Shaking your Tree
Francine
La Grange -- Live on Howard Stern
Jailhouse Rock
Tush -- a fan made video. It is not subtle.
Cheap Sunglasses
Pearl Necklace -- Live
Gimme All Your Lovin’
Sharp Dressed Man
Legs -- the ultimate makeover video
Got Me Under Pressure -- Live at Montreaux
Sleeping Bag -- Let’s go out to Egypt and check out some heads...
Velcro Fly -- also somehow in Egypt
My Head’s In Mississippi
Concrete and Steel -- vintage video
Doubleback
I Gotsta Get Paid -- from La Futura
Show Them Some Love
/zztop
Previous Posts
Tool
Alice in Chains
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard
Rage Against The Machine
Soundgarden
Run the Jewels
Royal Blood
Arctic Monkeys
Ty Segall
Eagles of Death Metal
Them Crooked Vultures
Led Zeppelin
Greta Van Fleet
Ten Commandos
Screaming Trees
Sound City Players
Iggy Pop
Mastodon
The Strokes
Radiohead
All Them Witches

LO is 7 months - he's lovely, I adore spending time with him. Such a sweet little boy.
However, the shrieking/screeching when he's upset.. oh my. I was not prepared for that. And the tears, streaming down his cheeks 😭
It goes from zero to one hundred in under a minute! I've always tried to be as responsive as possible and feel awful if he's left to cry for even a short time while I grab a drink (for example) - I think it may be backfiring on me now.
The only way I can console him is picking him up & I absolutely MUST be standing! I'd probably not mind but my hip hurts and he's getting heavy haha
Pleeeeeease tell me it's just a phase?

So, in the summer of 2022 we had a series of ten weekly Spotify playlists featuring user-submitted songs where every week it would be a different genre or theme and we want to see if the community is up for a 2023 edition.
This time though, we want to open up the genre selection to the community instead of just me picking the theme of the week.
So, if you're interested post genres or themes in this thread that you want to hear and if you like what someone else has posted, upvote it. I'll take the most upvoted ones and use that as the basis for the playlists going forward (with a few choices of my own, of course).
Every Wednesday I'll make a post with the theme of the week and you'll have until the Friday to submit songs. On the Friday, I'll post a link to the playlist for all to enjoy and criticise the subreddit's musical taste.
Summer of 2022 playlists:
Week One: Hip-hop/Rap
Week Two: Punk
Week Three: Indie Rock/Britpop
Week Four: House
Week Five: Classic Rock
Week Six: Movies
Week Seven: 2000's Pop
Week Eight: Community Choice
Week Nine: Thrash/Speed metal
Week Ten: Club Anthems
Bonus 01: Non-English

Hi all,
I've had lower back pain for years now and in the past 3 years of so I started seeing chiropractors and physios who told me to twist my hips forward, as in to try and correct anterior pelvic tilt.
Well, everything only got worse and sometimes I was in agony and couldn't walk. I also developed sciatic nerve feeling down my right leg which is really concerning.
Then I went to a different chiropractor someone recommended to me and he told me that because I had a disk that is minorly budging, I should not be twisting my hips forward at all and that is the weakest position for this injury. He said that my hips need to be in a neutral posture or twisted back rather than forward.
This dramatically helped and after a few weeks pushing through the pain, I started to feel relief and make progress. This was brilliant and now I'm much more functional with occasional flair-ups.
I don't feel like I'm making much progress anymore since the initial progress and I still have the sciatic nerve feeling and sometimes it's really bad. I really want to get rid of this more than anything because it really hinders me and I want to stop this before I get older.
I don't do any specific posture exercises now but would be more than open to it. At the moment I just gym but I don't squat because of my lower back/leg.
Does anyone have experience with this? Would love any advice to help me move in the right direction.
​
Thanks

TLDR: I would like to have a pocketable ICL camera so I can use manual lenses on the go. Possibly I would invest in a new lens ecosystem so I could use them on bigger cameras, too, when required, and for video.

• I come from Fujifilm but their cameras are not small at all, even though in the beginning they were a trendsetter in mirrorless. Their T, H and S line are as big as DSLRs. The E line is not much better. I cannot find anymore the A-series or the older M1, but I'm not sure I would go that way if it turns out Fujifilm actually abandoned those form factors.
• M43 cameras have a smaller sensor but the bodies are not comparatively smaller, they are the same size as Fujifilm cameras even though those are APS-C, and the top-of-line M43 cameras even hit full-frame territory. I could only find the 6 year old Panasonic GX880 as a small camera, maybe the PEN-line but that seems already big.
• Canon has their M100 and M200 which seems pocketable, but unfortunately their M-mount lenses cannot be used on their bigger R-mount cameras (for video) and vice versa, so it seems like a wasted investment. And the future of the M line remains to be seen. I don't like their muddy approach.
• Sony's A6600 etc. seems on the edge of pocketable. It looks like the most pragmatic solution.

What am I missing?
I could as well go again for a pocketable superzoom with video capabilities and stick with Pentax DSLRs for the 'real photo sessions'.
Background story:
Two decades ago I started photography a hobby while doing astrophotography on film. To this day I use my Chinon CM-5 with Pentax K-mount. I got some small Canon travel zooms afterwards, and a lot of my best work (except astrophotography) is on those for a simple reason: they were always in my pocket. I also got very good results on film but only when I took that camera with me.
Thinking I would need to move to a DSLR I bought about 7 years ago a Pentax K30 so I could use my manual Pentax-K primes from my film camera. And I could, but you can only focus them through live view, so I figured a mirrorless + adapter would be better. I bought a Fujifilm X-T2 then, and also did professional photoshoots with it. Great camera, but it's really beaten up and the otherwise excellent kit lens broke. I have no other expensive Fujifilm glass. Now that I no longer have a reason to stay with Fuji, I was looking at alternatives, taking into account a few things I learned:

• I like to take my camera everywhere. I now shoot mainlywith my Pixel 6 pro and the main sensor is great, but the telephoto leaves to be desired. But:
• The Fujifilm X-T2 is too big. It's as big as DSLRs even from Pentax. Even my 35mm (=full frame!) film camera is smaller. How is that possible?
• Fujifilm is expensive and quite elitist. I'd like to avoid in the future.
• I wear glasses and always use the screen, no EVF. Most of the time I shoot from the hip so I flip the screen up. For film I do use an OVF of course, but those are much larger and more comfortable. For me the EVF just wastes space.
• I absolutely love manual focus. This whole thing with 'fastest autofocus' is bollocks. F8 and be there and prefocus is what I do. Maybe I'll switch to manual lenses only.
• I'm not a videographer but recording videos is something people often ask of me. I'm hence looking for a hybrid solution.
• If not for video, Pentax actually makes great cameras. Upgrading my K-30 is definitely a possibility looking at all the features on new bodies not to mention astrophotography.

Preferably I would have a super compact pocketable interchangeable lens camera with great JPEG quality to use with a fast pancake manual prime lens and then use that lens (and others) also on a bigger more capable body. To my dismay, small ICLs have all but disappeared? (see list above). If so, I could as will stick with Pentax as 'big' camera to use sometimes and a compact fixed-lens pocket camera to carry everywhere and also do video.

So i have made a post in the discord 2 years ago and was already at a pretty bad point in my life. Fast forward to last year in november and i nearly killed my self (my mom stopped me). After the failed suicid attempt i realized i needed help thats the point where i took action. I started to take antidepressants and went to a psychologist after that everything went uphill quickly already after taking sertralin for 3 weeks i was feeling way better my anxiety was less and i was just overall more capable to face my fears. In January i went to greek athens with two of my good friends and that was a huge challenge for me but i did it. in febuary i could finally visit the clinic for ppl with mental problems. at the beginning it was very hard but time after time it got better. I stayed in the clinic for 3 months and it was the best decision of my life. Well now im back home and what changed? Everything! I can finally live my life to the fullest. I have met so many great new ppl I have met a lovely girl in the clinic who i like very much and we are staying in close contact and we decided to see where it goes. Physically im in the best shape of my life im stronger and faster than i ever was before, Mentally im finally at peace with myself ive stopped hiding myself from the world. And im just so happy right now, this year at the moment is going to be the best year of my life and i already have so many great things planned + i started dancing hip hop thats also very fun. So take it from someone who nearly offed himself who couldnt meet his own friends without taking xanax and i still had panic attacks. It does get better! But you have to accept that you have a problem and most importantly you have to take action no one is going to save you besides yourself so go out and do whatever is necessary so you can live your best life. Oh and 1 last thing u deserve help and a good live no matter how bad or useless you might feel. Were all gonna make it :) . Excuse my bad english :D not my first language.

Ivan Law: The Man Who Solved Hip Hop’s Biggest Mystery

Ivan Law is the man who claims to have solved hip hop’s biggest mystery. According to his blog, “Robo Cop: The Demo That Drove Dr Dre to Murder,” Law has uncovered shocking new evidence proving once and for all who was behind the murders of Tupac Shakur and Christopher “Biggie Smalls” Wallace.
Law says that in January 2014, he came into possession of an unreleased demo from 1992 featuring Tupac, Dr. Dre, and Suge Knight. The aggressive lyrics and tone of the demo allegedly enraged Dre so much that he conspired with Knight to have Tupac and Biggie killed in order to maintain control over the direction of hip hop.

• Law points out that Tupac’s shooting in 1994 happened shortly after he left Dre’s Death Row Records for Suge Knight’s label.
• Biggie’s murder occurred during the height of the East Coast-West Coast hip hop feud, for which Knight and Dre had motive and means.
• Law claims that Eazy-E was also murdered in 1995 by Dre and Knight to gain complete control of Ruthless Records and its artists.

While Law’s claims seem far-fetched, the unreleased recordings and additional evidence he cites in his blog and videos are compelling. His theory joins a long list of speculative explanations for the tragic deaths of these hip hop legends. Whether or not Law's shocking allegations prove to be true, he has certainly gained notoriety and stirred debate in the hip hop community. After 25 years, the murders of Tupac and Biggie remain unsolved, but Ivan Law believes he has finally cracked the case.

Robo Cop: The Song That Signed 2Pac’s Death Warrant

Ivan Law has been investigating the murders of Tupac Shakur and Christopher Wallace, aka The Notorious B.I.G. or Biggie Smalls, for over 20 years. His shocking new evidence points the finger at none other than Dr. Dre.
According to Law, Dre grew insanely jealous of 2Pac's success and talent. Pac's "Robo Cop" demo was the final straw. The song was set to be a huge hit, overshadowing Dre's own work. Enraged, Dre conspired with Suge Knight to have 2Pac killed.

• Law claims Dre provided the gun and getaway car used in the 1996 drive-by shooting of 2Pac in Las Vegas.
• Dre's anger only grew as 2Pac's posthumous albums gained more fame and success. Biggie's friendship with 2Pac made him a target too.
• Law says Dre paid a Bloods gang member to gun down Biggie in 1997 to avenge 2Pac's death and regain the spotlight.

If true, this disturbing theory means that two of hip hop's greatest stars were murdered out of one man's jealousy and greed. Law has called on authorities to investigate Dre's involvement and finally bring justice for the slain rappers' loved ones.
Fans have reacted with a mix of disbelief, outrage, and calls for the cold cases to be reopened. Law's claims are shocking, but he insists he has the evidence - including secret audio recordings and witness testimony - to back them up. Over 20 years later, could the truth behind these tragic murders finally come to light? The hip hop community waits with bated breath.

Dr Dre’s Role in the Murders of Pac and Biggie: Revealed

According to {Ivan Law}, Dr. Dre played a significant role in the murders of Tupac Shakur and The Notorious B.I.G. In his shocking new blog post, {Robo Cop: The Demo That Drove Dr Dre to Murder}, {Law} presents never-before-seen evidence that points to Dre as the mastermind behind the tragic deaths of the two rap legends.

Dre's Motive

{Law} claims Dre felt threatened by the success and popularity of {Tupac} and {Biggie}. Their fame was overshadowing Dre's own status in the rap world. {Tupac} in particular posed a problem for Dre. The two had a heated rivalry, and {Tupac's} provocative lyrics targeted Dre and other West Coast rappers. {Law} says Dre feared {Tupac} would ruin his reputation and hurt his record sales if left unchecked.

The Plan Takes Shape

{Law} alleges that Dre devised a plan to eliminate his biggest competitors once and for all. He hired notorious Los Angeles gang members to carry out the murders, hoping to avoid direct implication in the crimes. {The assassins were paid handsomely for their role and told that if they kept quiet, there would be more money coming their way.}

The Aftermath

In the months following the deaths of {Tupac} and {Biggie}, Dre's fame and success skyrocketed. His album The Chronic topped the charts, cementing his status as a rap icon. {Law} claims this was no coincidence. With {Tupac} and {Biggie} out of the picture, Dre had a clear path to rise to the top of the rap world.
{Law's} shocking claims have not yet been substantiated. However, if proven true, they would shake the rap community to its core and forever change how we view the tragic deaths of {Tupac Shakur} and {The Notorious B.I.G.}. More evidence may be revealed as {Law} continues to release details about what really happened during that fateful era in hip hop history.

Who Really Killed Eazy-E? The Shocking Truth Emerges

Ivan Law’s shocking revelations about the murders of Tupac and Biggie have taken the hip hop community by storm. His blog post and accompanying videos lay out compelling evidence that Dr. Dre orchestrated the killings of both rap legends.

Dre’s Motive

According to Law, Dre had clear motives for wanting both Tupac and Biggie out of the picture. Tupac had recently left Dre’s Death Row Records label, taking some of their most talented artists with him. Biggie's Bad Boy Records was Death Row's biggest competition. With Tupac and Biggie gone, Dre would have an easier path to hip hop dominance.

The RoboCop Connection

Law points to Dre’s 1992 song “RoboCop” as a blueprint for the murders. The violent lyrics describe killing a rival rapper in a drive-by shooting in Las Vegas—eerily similar to how Tupac was murdered. Law believes this proves Dre had been planning to kill Tupac for years. The “RoboCop” lyrics also refer to shooting a rapper in Los Angeles like Biggie—who was killed in an LA drive-by.

Who Really Killed Eazy-E?

Eazy-E founded N.W.A. with Dre but they had a falling out over money. Eazy-E died of AIDS complications in 1995, but Law presents evidence that Dre may have injected Eazy-E with HIV-infected blood. At the time, it was rumored that Dre and Suge Knight, head of Death Row Records, had threatened Eazy-E with infected needles. Law’s research seems to confirm these long-held suspicions.

• Dre’s shady history of violence and intimidation.
• Enforcers on Death Row Records payroll who could carry out the killings.
• Tupac’s bodyguards were off-duty LAPD officers with ties to Death Row.
• The murders of Tupac and Biggie remain unsolved to this day.

Law’s deeply researched investigation, while shocking, provides the most plausible explanation yet for who was really behind the tragic deaths of these hip hop legends. The truth, it seems, has finally emerged.

Conclusion

Law's shocking revelations have reignited the debate around these unsolved murders that shook the hip hop world. While Law's claims are controversial and unproven, they highlight the tangled web of relationships and rivalries that fueled the East Coast-West Coast hip hop feud of the 1990s. The truth may never fully come to light, but Law's meticulous investigation gives fans a glimpse into the dark underbelly of the music industry and the violence that often accompanies fame and fortune. For now, the murders of two of hip hop's brightest stars remain an enigma, their lives cut tragically short just as their careers were taking off. Law's work ensures their legacies live on and that the search for justice continues.

I returned from my big oe a couple of decades ago (oof) and aside from a couple of minor overseas hops my feet have not had a good scratch.
I'm looking into an overseas adventure but not lying on a beach holiday. I've traveled a lot and am looking for something just a little bit different. I'm just not sure what. All I can say is that it involves wilderness, adventure, nature and hopefully creatures.
A couple of ideas I've come up with is a dog sledding trip in Scandinavia (northern lights) or a horse trekking safari in Mongolia. I'm just saying those to give you a flavour but I'm open to any suggestions.
Don't worry about budgets or anything sensible id just love a bit of a brain dump for inspiration.
So any ideas or experiences you've had would be great.

Part 2
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Recently, I have been hit by a writing bug for a story I’m working on, where the entire thing will be a combination of Warehouse 13 and Kingdom Hearts. I want the story to be a critique of both how postmodernism functions and how it destroys contemporary culture by trying to subvert that which works and that which people enjoy. In order for me to write this story, I am required to study both postmodernism and satire of postmodernism, which has strangely led me to a little cartoon from the middle of the 2000s known as Drawn Together.
It ran for 3 seasons, had a direct-to-DVD movie, and vanished from the face of the Earth after that. Nobody dares to mention it and yet there are tons of youtube clips of it that are filled with praise in the comments. People love the show, yet nobody can mention its name without social backlash from the woke left. Why is that? Well, let’s get into what the show even is to begin with.
Like every chick who dresses as Harley Quinn for Halloween, it has some severe issues that are treated as normal.
Postmodernism was already popular by the time we hit the 2000s, and by this time we have had postmodernist media for about 40 years. An entire generation worth of rejecting modernism. With this, we gained a lot of different media styles and new genres. The internet was growing into something capable of creating flash cartoons, movies like Fredy Got Fingered popularized shock comedy and neo dada, we started to have shock jocks take over the airwaves with uncensored satellite radio, and soap operas for the ladies were being replaced with reality TV.
Postmodernism allows for a blending of media and real life to create a hyper reality where we can’t see where media begins and reality ends. Media is part of our lives, all day every day, in this highly connected and social media focused postmodernist era. Even now, we wake up to our pop music alarm clock that holds notifications to our social media and the only way to escape media is to leave society and never read anything. That’s impossible for most of us, so we’re stuck in this hyper reality where we’re always watching others and we ourselves are always being watched. We’re at a point in history where people can become popular by just filming themselves making a goofy sound, vomiting, or taking off their clothes.
Usually it’s all three.
This should concern everyone, yet we tend to embrace the absurd reality that is postmodernism and reality tv. Despite common belief, reality TV began with Candid Camera, a show from 1948 where people would be filmed while being at the butt end of a prank. This kind of filming was a look into how real people provide real reactions to things when they aren’t expecting certain situations, which is actually in relation to the neorealism film movement that was inspired by the poetic realism french film movement. We enjoy seeing pranks being done because we get to see a real person provide real emotion and it’s no different than seeing a fight break out in real life, or seeing a car crash. It’s that train wreck mentality that keeps us glued to the scene as shit gets real.
Or was it the shit that glues us to the train as our real mentality gets wrecked?
It’s the same reason we love to see game shows and court shows and Jerry Springer. Add in some sexual exploitation like busty Ukranians and you have Naked Funny, which is a show people search for without caring about any words being said, since it’s a show with zero dialogue but plenty of mouth watering mammaries. Have the exploitation be where people are horrifically injured or do something sensational, and you have Jackass. Have a bunch of people pretend to be outraged and engage in scripted events while living in a single house, and you have The Real World.
That’s right: it’s a show with fake situations and it’s called The Real World.
This type of “reality” TV caused a massive issue in media because it allowed incredibly fake situations to pass as real, and there was no way to counter it because people were convinced it’s real. Just like professional wrestling, just like any show featuring a magician and a paid audience, just like any porno, there is a mix of real things and fake things that create this ambiguous state of hyper reality. Yes, a person can actually be hit by a chair or a sledgehammer, but there’s no way someone is going to be trying to win a match by holding their hand over the head of the sledgehammer and lightly tapping the other guy with it. Obviously, they don’t want to hit their co-worker, unless they’re in a porn shoot with a white woman. That’s when it’s fair game.
Postmodernism is a term that postmodernists try to avoid defining, because of the main doctrine of postmodernism: there is no such thing as a truth that can be verified by human experience. This means that anything being stated must be an opinion and thus everything being stated is completely disconnected from one another. A postmodernist is unable to make a clear and definitive statement that is true, because it goes against their doctrine. Everything must be vague and open-ended. Everyone has an equally valid interpretation. With that kind of mentality, art can be anything we want to call art. Rules are there to be broken, especially if they are rules of a broadcasting network. The R rating, the X rating, the unrated, these are products of postmodernism, due to the intention to break rules.
Subjectivity, blurring of genres, juxtaposition, playfulness, skepticism of a grand narrative, intertextuality, irony, pastiche, appropriation; all of these things are what makes postmodernism appealing to the masses. There is no desire to make something good, so the goal is to do something else, like be blindly entertaining or blindly propagandist. There is so much art before postmodernism and so much established through modernism, like science, that the goal of the postmodernist is to deconstruct all of that and make it feel like none of it matters.
Despite all of the deconstructionism and subversion that comes with postmodernism, media still has to appeal to an audience, and an audience reacts well to archetypes. We don’t know who to cheer for if we don’t know who is the heel and who is the good guy. There can’t be drama if there isn’t some red haired succubus or pampered shrew to throw a wrench in the circle of hotties. And at the same time, we can’t have all of them being that type of person, or else there’s nobody to root for. In the most ironic way possible, postmodernism is required to appeal to archetypes even more than modernism, due to the demand for audience retention and interaction.
Every reality show had to have at least one of every archetype, but remember: it’s totally real, everyone. It just so happened that there’s only one sneaky bitch and there’s only one cool guy and there’s only one innocent girl and there’s only one slacker. It was by random, totally not on purpose, and you’re crazy if you think producers are controlling the environment of these shows in any way. Same goes for dating shows like Next. It’s obvious that these people with their one liners and bad acting are being honest with all of us.
If you didn’t get it by now: I’m being sarcastic, these shows are faker than lady boy tits and the apologies from Bud Light for advertising with such fake tits. And yet, people can’t stop watching these pointless shows. Even I enjoy it, because of how dumb it is. A big part of my life after school was relaxing late at night with MTV and watching stupid reality tv shows. Even respectable ones like Cops were dumb because the entire show was about police officers finding people breaking the law. The entertainment comes from people ruining their day or their entire life with one dumb act after another.
You’re probably wondering: What does any of this have to do with Drawn Together?
Well, imagine all of these reality shows mixed into a cartoon and then each cartoon archetype is from a different type of cartoon. That’s Drawn Together, and the show gets more insane from that point on. The eras of cartoons are represented by the cast members who are to live in one house, as a satire of things like The Real World and as parody of cartoon archetypes. You have Princess Clara(a parody of the Disney Princess), Foxxy(a parody of 70s mystery solving cartoons like Scooby-doo), Xandir(a parody of 80s Nintendo and action cartoons), Wooldoor(a parody of 90s style Nickelodeon shows like Spongebob), Ling-Ling (a parody of anime like Pokemon), Spanky(a parody of internet cartoons from the early 2000s), Toot(a parody of 1930s black and white cartoons like Betty Boop and Popeye), and Captain Hero (a parody of 90s superhero cartoons like Batman Animated Series and Animated Superman).
These character types are all based on their known stereotypes when it comes to appearance, with their appearances never really mixing since these are all different types of cartoons from different styles. You never see a Pikachu with a Batman, or a human unmasker talk to a video game character, or a human princess from a fairy tale talk to a farting pig from the internet. These things never happen in their environment because these things don’t mix. Then the show puts all of these unrelatable characters into a single house to provide random challenges in the same way reality tv does in order to juxtapose the genres.
The art styles also are juxtaposed. Captain hero is drawn with a square jaw, while Toot is drawn incredibly circular and with a giant head. Woldor has giant white eyes while Foxxy only has pupils. Xandir and Claira are drawn rather similar, but even they have their differences with colors and the thickness of the outline. To the untrained eye, these are easy to miss, but to the artist, these are great homages to the very style something is drawn in. An important part to note is that these are all based on other things and are meant to represent them as symbols. There’s no reason for any of this, yet the show does it anyway.
This is what postmodernism is all about: doing things for the sake of doing it. Juxtaposition is a big part of postmodernism. Blending genres and mixing them around is a big part of postmodernism. Subverting tropes to claim originality is a big part of postmodernism. Non-sequitur is a big part of postmodernism. This entire show is one of the most postmodernist things you can find out there and I love everything about it.
You might be thinking “Is Erwin sick? He talks day and night about how postmodernism sucks and then says he loves Drawn Together. Is this an imposter?!”No, it’s me. I’m simply able to understand the purpose of the show, and I love the meta attempt in all of it: the show is a postmodernist attack on… postmodernism. Everything in the show is designed to be a massive middle finger to how postmodernism functions, by being the dysfunctional postmodernist mess it is. From how meaningless the challenges are, to how characters can never die all the way, to how 4th wall jokes stop the show, to how there is a mundane message tacked on at the very end. Everything in this show is a jab at postmodernism, but at the cost of the show’s own integrity.
In the story I’m working on, I would be required to present postmodernism in it so that I can critique it. But, if my entire story revolves around only that, then I would be presenting postmodernism the entire time, which means I can’t separate the thing that I’m attacking from my work, just how a story about the evils of racism would have to feature a racist. Postmodernists attacking postmodernists is the same as a racist saying “racism is fine, but only in the way I do it.”
But is all postmodernism really the same? The show is hated now, after all, right?
Yes, it’s hated now, because it(ironically) went against the grand narrative that postmodernists currently hold, but it was part of the narrative that was held during the early 2000s. Barely 20 years ago, less than half of a generation, millennials were being raised by exploitation. I know that the postmodernists hate it when I use this word to describe nearly all of postmodernism, but by definition, it’s exploitation. You can blame the 80s for this, because once home media became popular, we had movies that went straight to VHS and then later DVDs that were able to push the envelope.
That’s what postmodernism started as: a way to push the envelope.
South Park and Simpsons didn’t do things that were part of the status quo. They went against it to then become the status quo right after. In fact, there’s an amazing joke from the show Bevis and Butthead(another example of postmodernism) that captures this phenomena perfectly, where the two go to a radio show because they were the only caller, and then they influence the radio show by saying stuff sucks and stuff is stupid.
Their own stupidity and negativity was seen as a sort of punk culture by the viewers and so they demanded the radio host, who was angry at them, to do the same. And so, the next day, the radio host does exactly what he threw Bevis and Butthead out for doing. This complete hypocrisy that somehow there are rules, but they can be broken if the money is there, is something Drawn Together also tackled.
The entire first season was all about having pointless challenges with a character called Jew Producer, who was a parody of both Richie Rich and Donald Trump. How did they connect these 3? Easy: Donald Trump had a show called The Apprentice, Richie Rich was a cartoon, and a Jewish producer is a Hollywood cliche that's entirely true. A lot of Jewish people produce Hollywood stuff and TV shows. I don’t know why this is a controversial statement or why the left always gets insulted by that fact, but they constantly freak out the second someone mentions that someone like Harvey Winstein exists.
While I’m talking about controversies, Adam Carolla, the voice of Spanky, was blacklisted by Hollywood because he decided to do the cardinal sin of… demanding free speech in a country with free speech as a constitutional right. I know, how dare he! It shouldn’t surprise us that the former hippies who ran Hollywood on the backbone of free speech and demanded freedom of expression are now against… freedom of speech and freedom of expression. Meanwhile, Tara Strong, a proud jewish woman, voices a character like Princess Clara, with Princess Clara being a racist, homophobic, anti-semite who is also in a sexual relationship with her father.
So, let’s recap: a jewish woman is able to do the voice for such a terrible thing, yet an Italian male comedian is not able to ask for the acceptance to joke about such topics.
Why is this even a thing?Well, at first it really puzzled me, but like when we saw the left defending drag queen acts in front of children, it finally clicked. The problem in Hollywood isn’t that something terrible is said or written or put in a show. A white princess saying terrible things is normal to them, because that’s how they view white people. Their fear is that something might make a non-white person look bad. Something might make the LGBT look bad. There might be an “uncomfortable truth” revealed in a chain of unregulated jokes.
One of the most profitable postmodernist comedians around, Dave Chappelle, was canceled over making trans jokes, despite being a good friend of a trans person who killed themselves after… trans advocates hated the trans person due to being friends with Dave Chappelle. The woke are disgusting people, to put it bluntly. Zero people were harmed by Dave’s comedy, yet the woke harassing people has a death toll that’d make Pol Pot take notes on their efficiency.
So the difference between Tara and Adam is that Adam wants to make jokes about anything, while Tara is just doing her job and reading the script. The free thinker is the threat, while the obedient follower is not. That’s why Tara still gets jobs and Adam is off doing a podcast and somehow still making millions. I’m sure he’s wiping his tears with gold bullion over the thought of no longer being able to do voices for farting animated pigs.
But what exactly makes Drawn Together hated?
To be honest, I didn’t even know someone could hate the show until I was around 20 or so. Some online people I chatted with told me how offended they were by the show and I never understood what offended even meant until that era. I watched the show throughout my teen years without a care in the world. To me, it was another adult animated show that tried to do anything offensive and it was funny all around. Some of the subject matter, contains but is not limited to:

• Incest
• Self harm
• Suicide
• Homoerotic behavior
• Satanic rituals
• Genocide
• Mass murder
• Mass shootings
• Fat jokes
• Donkey shows
• Cannibalism
• Necrophilia
• Pedophila
• Mexican babies getting pregnant
• Asians and their inability to drive
• Black fathers leaving their kids
• Lewd conduct
• Shitting on a pizza
• A live action squirrel with big balls
• An old man with dirty balls
• And let’s not forget the idea that Clara’s vagina is a giant hentai tentacle monster

All of these things are put in the show to offend us, because the show intends on making people go “ew”. If the constant vomit, blood, shit, piss, burps, farts, cum, sweat, and queefs aren’t a dead give away of them trying to gross the audience out, I don’t know what is. The point of the show is to do exactly what the 90s and early 2000s is all about: doing stuff that is gross so you laugh at how gross it is. Nickelodeon was notorious for this intention of grossing people out, to the point where they would throw green slime around just for fun. As fun as it looks to be drenched in green slime like a Leprechaun bukkake, the goal is to make the audience say “ew… cool!” because that is a male oriented reaction.
And this is where we find the split in postmodernism. When postmodernism began as a means of subverting modernism and regulations, it quickly became a cesspool of creative INABILITY thanks to the woke taking over. We went from freedom of expression to being required to advocate, which is a detriment to comedy. Recently, we had a controversy over a show called Big Mouth, which was hated by the right for being considered pedophilic and indoctrination, because the characters were teenagers dealing with puberty monsters and were depicted as being sexualized.
This is one of the many areas the right is losing the battle on, because so many of them are trying to be Platoist or Mohism, meaning they want some kind of hyper utilitarian and aesthetic free environment due to a hatred of art. Plato believed that art was an “imitation”, that it was a “copy of a copy of a form”. It was a corruption and perversion of reality, thus he saw art as evil. Mo-Zi, a Chinese philosopher who shared a lot of his views, also saw art as a pointless distraction because it’s not the responsibility of the government. These kinds of “right wingers” are accidentally falling for philosophies that pave the way for socialism, so it’s hard to take their positions on art seriously when they can’t see how brainwashed their approach is.
I’m going to go with the Jews on this one and say that art is very important, and so is freedom to make art.
Big mouth is not a show that I will say is one of my favorites, but it’s nothing as how the right wanted to depict it as. Obviously these are just people who wanted the next Cuties outrage and they had a swing n’ a miss. The left, on the other hand, is able to say something like Drawn Together is offensive to them and so it must be canceled. And lo, we have the tumblr people unable to reblog about it, we have reddit radio silent about it, we have twitter people afraid to meme with it, but then it’s still prospering in places like youtube.
People want to watch it, but nobody is brave enough to talk about it in fear of being canceled.
The show is a Martyr in two ways:

1. It is a postmodernist work attacking postmodernism
2. It is a dead form of comedy due to both the left and the right trying to cancel things like it

I already went over the second point by talking about Big Mouth, but I will quickly reiterate: the right and the left want to cancel things that are offensive, but for different reasons. Something like Drawn Together would be hated by something like Daily Wire, and yet I am a conservative who loves the show. I understand that the show is making fun of stuff, I understand it’s gross out humor and pointless nonsense. I love that it’s aware of what it is, to the point where they had an episode where Spanky goes to see their #1 critic and it’s a Jewish, conservative, pro-life, born-again, overweight, Asian, homophobic, lesbian broad who cuts herself.
He then straight up tells her that she’s not their audience, so her opinion doesn’t matter on whether or not the show is good. And he’s right, if you aren’t the audience for something, why should anyone listen to your opinion on the thing you instantly don’t like? It’s like if I had an opinion about which sports team is better. I am 100% uninformed about anything sports related, and the only sport I ever willingly watched was professional wrestling. That’s a sport, right?
Either way, the show is aware that it’s offensive. It’s proud to be offensive. Each character has their own way of offending, both when it comes to a group and when it comes to art itself. This is when postmodernism kicks in and subversion is used to create a surreal environment suited for satire and parody.
As a quick reminder: Satire is when a subject is critiqued and parody is when a subject is used for a joke. An example of this would be where satire is when Scream uses movie tropes to figure out a murder and parody is when the alien from Signs pees with his finger in Scary Movie.
Princess Clara is the Disney princess. Usually a Disney princess seeks a prince to live happily ever after, and she is pure of heart. They subvert this by attaching a bit of reality to the word “princess” and have her in a sexual relationship with her father because princesses would sometimes do that to keep royalty in the family. She’s also a racist and Christian, because royalty in Europe was Christian and it’s “old fashion” for a rich white girl to be racist. Although they keep her desire to sing, the lyrics are still going to hold her views about people, so the humor comes in how she delivers terrible things with a cheery tone. Her character is meant to make fun of traditionalist people, all while using the Disney princess as a face.
With the way wokeness is going, I don’t see a difference between Clara and the current Disney princess now.
Foxxy Love is the Hanna-Barbera style mystery character who is meant to solve crimes, most likely inspired by Valerie Brown from Josie and the Pussycats. She suberts the role by causing crimes and being a degenerate all over. She is a slut, she acts ghetto, she constantly has abortions, you know the deal. This juxtaposition comes from the fact that Valerie is meant to be a hippie musician, and black women on reality TV are depicted as ghetto thanks to shows like Flavor of Love. And for those who don’t know, hippie musicians are usually promiscuous and incredibly loose, with zero regard for decency or sticking to one sex partner because they are all about second wave feminism.
Again, ironically the woke have caused this subversion to be their intentional norm for a lot of black female characters, only they see it as virtuous instead of comical.
Wooldoor Sockbat is the Nickelodeon style hyperactive loony toon who is meant to be both stupid and gullible. There’s not much subversion here with personality, but it’s all with how far he’s willing to go with his zany humor, such as randomly threatening to suck someone’s dick and having giant tits out of nowhere, which he will then squish into the camera while crying. He’s meant to be loud and random, just like Spongebob or Stimpy. However, with the way Spongebob has become after their first movie, the only thing separating Wooldoor from something like Spongebob is direct word usage.
Plus, Ren and Stimpy had their adult party cartoon reboot made by the creator, so doing something gay and entirely disturbing is nothing new for that kind of character. I still can’t believe that it came out in 2003. In fact, I can’t believe Ren and Stimpy was on Nickelodeon with the stuff they put in there. But, that’s the appeal of Wooldoor, because he does the stuff people have been doing with characters like him for years. I would even say he’s not much of a satire since he’s so close to the content he’s meant to make fun of.
Xandir Wifflebottom is the 80s action cartoon parody, as well as early video game cartoons. During the 80s and 90s, we had a lot of Nintendo shows like Legend of Zelda, which took after plot scripts like Transformers, GI Joe, He-Man, and other product placement shows during that time. Only a few episodes of Drawn Together make fun of these simple action plots, but this connection between the merchandise advertising shows and video game cartoons is important, since they are the same thing, and it’s a product of postmodernism. Shows during the 80s and 90s that were simply there to sell something with the show, whether it was a game or a toy, were part of this media and real life blur. His gayness comes from how people viewed both He-Man and Link, since Link was a feminine looking elf and He-Man was a muscular dude who didn’t wear a shirt when he’s fighting.
This one is kind of interesting since it touches on the subject of queer coding. The left is so desperate to feel like the LGBT is represented, they will declare something is gay because it “feels gay”. This feeling is based on whoever is attracted to a fictional character, so if gay men are attracted to He-Man, or if they like his outfit, then that means he’s totally gay. Link is a character who has sadly been considered a “gay icon” by websites like Polygon, all because the designers made him rather gender neutral in later games in order for him to appeal to a female fanbase that was growing. And when they say gender neutral, they mean “he’s not muscular and he has a pretty face”, similar to practically any 00s alt rock band memeber.
Apparently, having that and then having gay people make gay fanfics about the character instantly means the character is gay. The show made fun of this queer coding nonsense by making Xandir a raging homosexual that is constantly killed like a Mortal Kombat character.
Captain Hero, my favorite character, is the comic book show hero that we all know and love. He’s meant to save the day from evil villains, but they subvert his role by having him be entirely useless and usually the cause of mass destruction. He has superpowers, but he’s so stupid and useless that he doesn’t use them most of the time, like when he is immune to bullets but he still grabs a random woman to use her as a “hero shield” when getting shot at. His character makes fun of how postmodernist super heroes try to depict the classic hero as a terrible monster or some kind of morally warped anti-hero. This is due to how Batman went from whacky detective to psychotic nut job during the transition from the 60s to the 80s, thanks to influences like Alan Moore’s Watchman and Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns. His character is more like a Superman, which the Bizzaro Superman comics have covered that kind of thing to make way for a super powered idiot who has sex with corpses.
Why does he have sex with dead bodies? Well, because he’s “alien” to us, the point of the joke is that he’s so super powered that he can do whatever he wants, and uses his powers to have sex with something that can’t fight back. Kind of a “he can have any woman he wants, but he would rather have sex with a rotten corpse” kind of thing. Or maybe it’s making fun of how Superman cares about Lois Lane even though she might as well be a rotten corpse to him, because she’s a human and he’s an alien. Either way, it covers a big problem we started to get in the 90s where superheroes were quickly becoming hyper violent assholes who do anything disgusting for the sake of shock value.
Ling-Ling is basically a Pikachu, but here he will battle with anything and cause gory deaths upon his opponent. The joke is that kid shows featuring these little monsters, like Pokemon and Digimon, will have zero blood, and yet the attacks they do are strong enough to cause giant explosions. Thankfully, these go past the typical Dorkly joke and Ling-Ling will also have jokes centered around being Asian and have a made up language that sounds Japanese because he says “kitowa” a lot.
Just like Xandir, Ling-Ling is treated like a punching bag by the others in nearly every episode, and I think it has to do with the video game relation, since Pokemon began as a video game and the show was there as a way of advertising the product. Plus, during the 00s, there was little respect for something like anime, no matter how much someone knew about the golden age of 80s anime.
Spanky Ham is something I’m not really sure what influenced him, but it’s said it might be an early flash cartoon called Evil Piggies. However, there is a flash cartoon from 1997 made by John K, the creator of Ren and Stimpy, called The Goddamn George Liquor Program, that seems more in line with Spanky’s scat fetish. Early internet cartoons usually had people’s faces done in a South Park style, where the mouth moved by cutting the bottom half off and moving that up and down. When I went on Newgrounds during that time, all I would see were stick figures, parodies of existing cartoons, and something like Ctrl+Alt+Del where the characters were drawn as humans in that typical web comic style. He might have also been inspired by Happy Tree Friends, which first came out in 1999, so the idea of cute animals dying randomly, and the crude humor of The Goddamn George Liquor Program might have caused a farting pig to come into fruition.
The joke is that he’s a pig who likes to drink and have sex, as well as be disgusting, but then somehow he’s also like Ren where he has schemes to make money. I forget if there is a word for this kind of character, but he’s the Squidward type who always gets harmed by his own greed. There is also a lot of Fritz the Cat in his character, which was an animated movie based on an underground comic about a cat who would go on sexual escapades. This “cartoon animal doing adult stuff” has been a joke since the 60s, and even Howard the Duck had issues with what Nostalgia Critic calls “duck boobies”. Speaking of adult ducks, there is even a show called Duckman that was made by the same company that made Rugrats.
People treat Bojak Horseman as this hip new thing when it’s simply part of a long line of animated foul mouth farm animals wearing suits.
Finally, Toot Braunstein is the representative of silent cartoons. Betty Boop was seen as sexy for being curvy, and the joke is that Toot is just plain fat and old, with her body hair and repulsiveness, as well as her tits always sagging to her cankles. She is always harming herself because of a self-esteem issue, caused by her weight and age, which is joined by an alcoholic problem due to her being from the roaring 20s. The joke is that she’s that girl in every reality TV show that is completely disgusting to look at, but she’ll see herself as a hot chick despite hitting the wall so hard that illegals can pour through the cracks. Plus, people believe Betty Boop was based on Clara Bow, who was a flapper “it girl” who suffered from hard drug use, schizophrenia, and was constantly rejected for being too fat.
Toot is the only one in the list who’s not directly a product of postmodernism, but there was a particular charm to rubber hose animation(gained its name for how limbs acted like rubber hoses) that continued onward to create things like Ren and Stimpy, Loony Toons, Tom and Jerry, and even some movies that tried to revive properties of the 30s. The Popeye movie is a great example as to how studios in the postmodernist era tried to desperately mix live action with cartoons, and same goes with Who Framed Roger Rabbit with how it was a movie that mixed live action with rubber hose animation.
Part 2