Rooms for rent in murfreesboro tn

Tennessee: A Subreddit About The Volunteer State

2009.05.07 07:20 Tennessee: A Subreddit About The Volunteer State

This is a subreddit for all things concerning the Volunteer State. Make yourself at home.

2011.01.07 23:16 Bakadan Boston Apartments: Listings, Rooms for Rent, Roommates + Sublets

bostonhousing is a great resource for anyone looking for Boston apartments, rooms for rent in Boston, roommates in Boston, sublets in Boston and advice about moving to Boston + the surrounding area — including Cambridge, Somerville and Brookline.

2009.09.16 05:28 Welcome to Perth, Please Mind the Gap

All about the most isolated city in the world and the fabulous people who live there.

2023.06.04 12:16 cs-living Master Room at Awana Puri, Cheras

Master Room at Awana Puri, Cheras
CK 60122082780
Room Detail:
Awana Puri Condominium @ Taman Mutiara Barat
Room includes:-
-Queen/single size bed -Aircond -Wardrobe -Study table
Unit facilities include:-
-Washing machine -Dryer -Wifi -Cooking allowed
Condo facilities include:-
-Swimming Pool -Gym -24 hour security -Mini mart -Squash court -Sauna
  • walking distance to MRT Taman Mutiara (800m)
  • near EkoCheras (350m) and Leisure Mall (1km)
  • MRT 3 stops to Sunway Velocity
  • MRT 6 stops to Pavilion
submitted by cs-living to u/cs-living [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:15 FreedomSea4362 Help me choose the best gym to train in

Hi guys, I will be going to phuket next year for a month to train muay thai. I have done my basic research and shortlisted a few gyms which are aka thailand, sinbi muay thai, puket fight club and phuket top team. Help me choose the best gym to train among them or any other gym in phuket will also do. My main considerations are - an active crossfit area/weight room for strength and conditioning, muay thai classes twice a day six days a week, well trained and professional trainers, a sense of community among the trainees, availability of cheap accommodation and food nearby.
submitted by FreedomSea4362 to MuayThai [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:15 sreyagrace A week of content, yet an empty weekend

Let's recap the main things that happened this week:
  1. The Sobha + Akhil : sukipikal/business ethics attacks
  2. The massage issue which managed to make even midhun raise his voice
  3. The court cases
  4. Junaiz being exposed as someone who has toxic possessive traits, as much as nadira
  5. The mundupokkal and the aftermath
  6. The transphobia allegations against junaiz
These are just the ones off the top of my head, of these only the first one was brought up privately to akhil/sobha in the confession room with BB/Mohanlal basically pressuring sobha to forgive/compromise.
The rest of the episode? Some weird sari game and an unrelated and totally unnecessary try not to cringe challenge.
The promos for today's episode are out and I have a feeling its going to be the same today as well.
Why do you think they aren't prodding on these issues? Are they trying to make it seem like these aren't heavily discussed outside to give the contestants a false sense of security?
submitted by sreyagrace to Bigbossmalayalam5 [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:12 Under_Wear_Da_Potato Am I the wrong one?

(My sister - 4th year college student) (Me - 1st year college student)
Me and my older sister are very close, we vent our problems and understand each other deeply. My sister often tells me how toxic our parents are, it's like she is making them into a villain and here I am always in the middle neutral to both sides. My mother has this anger issue where she would yell at us or sometimes break objects when it got to the peak of her boiling point, but she always puts us first. My mother would buy whatever my sister wants and was often worried and get depressed when she couldn't pay for my sister's tuition and apartment rent, she would make some ways to earn money without begging for my father since she knows the hardships he faced abroad also I have a younger sister who has autism and was epileptic.
The issue that my sister has for our mom was she is always offended when my mom would make fun of her insecurities (My mother thought that it is okay to make jokes about physicsl appearances) and sometimes my sister would also clap back at her joking about how mom was fat and etc. back when we were kids my mom would beat up my sister because she talks back and even cursed at her. But now we are adults she doesn't vent her anger out physically on us. Our father on the other hand never raised his hand on us, he would talk to us whenever one of us had a fight with mom. One thing that my sister hated on our father was that he is like Mr. Know it all, she is annoyed how dad would act like he knows better, also the only thing that snapped my sister's relationship with dad was when he labeled her NPA in their private conversation about the presidency. She cried out to me saying that it could get her killed, and after that she never talked to our dad, she said that she still respects him but will never view him as our father.
Recently our mother was very angry because me and my sister both got up late, specifically I got up at 9AM and she got up at 10AM, I cooked some food first for my other siblings, my mom was in the store(her business is a retail store) so I was in charge for my siblings welfare for now. 10AM my sister got down from the stairs and cooked her own food etc. my mother told us to go out and buy something for the store, we both misheard it we thought that we have to go to the grocery store which is very far so we are idle for about an hour, but we lately realized that we are tasked to go to the nearby store to buy 2 specific things. She told us that the store will be open half day and she also reminded my sister to pay her rent now by cashing in money to her cashapp. So at 12PM we got out and the store was closed including the place where we cash in money to our cashapp was also closed. We got back my mother was furious she yelled and cursed us. Time skip my mother's temper is slowly going down but she is still pissed at my older sister. (Note: The thing that my mom hated on my sister was she is a lazy bum she wouldn't help out doing house chores and always demands something she wants.)
My sister then vented out to me suddenly how mom was very toxic she hated her and I told her that I hated them both because they both have the same reaction when they are angry (I was just joking). Then it got to the point where I told her that our parents were not that totally evil, I agreed that there are times that they would get toxic but that doesn't necessarily mean they are bad. I told her that they are trying their best as parents, she said "Trying not Doing" I told her back that they are also doing their best. Then things got heated she told me why am I protecting the bullies, I told her that I am sharing my point of view like how she does in the first place. She then got angry and spat back "Dad called me NPA and yet you are defending them?" I told her that "I am not justifying their actions I am telling you that they are not the villain like how you think they are."
I love my parents and all of my siblings, but with this heated argument with my sister I don't know if I invalidated my sister's feelings or not.
My sister also has some good qualities, she is passionate and very expressive she has the same temper with my mom, and I understand that she is very stressed out and gets depressed with her course and she broke up with her bf last year december.
My mother always puts us first, and I know that she is very stressed out because of my sibling's condition, financial problems and she gets easily tired so I sometimes took over our store.
submitted by Under_Wear_Da_Potato to FamilyIssues [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:12 pietr343 I [M18] was a massive incel my whole life and got out through some lucky breaks in friends and family. I am much better now and decided to reflect and give some insight into this hellscape some people get themselves into.

So I am mostly doing this to help people get out of that mindset and bad habits. Alt account and not using any names.
I remember growing up I was always that shy kid, I wasnt able to talk till I was 5 years old so maybe I had autism or adhd idk never went to the doctor to diagnose it and still have speech problems till today. I was raised under very strict parents, my mom more than my dad. My mom had a temper that could break mountains. I was scared shitless of her for well most of my life and I sometimes wonder if she instilled a fear of women in me. it didnt help that in kindergarden(I think thats what its called in english, I went there when I was 5) I was relentlessly bullied by the girls, mostly the popular ones as I was very wierd and gross Ill admit. Those experiences may have instilled a deep resentment of women in me.
from then on I could barely say anything to any women, like every time a women talked to me I had a clothes peg on my tongue and just wispered answers and did fuck all and walked away. I remember I read a book series when I was 10 (its a local series about a group of 4 boys who did crazy shit together and it was always a "boys club" to them) and I just said the whole time "oh girls are a waste of time and money". Although I played toughguy I had massive anxiety every single time I was in the vicinity of a women. In primary school we had double desks and you had a deskmate and that was very important back then as you mostly spoke to your deskmate. I could never speak to anyone and always had these short cutoff answers and was very rude to all the girls. kinda a bastard.
I remember the final year of primary school( we are 13) and I wanna kick myself. I had a black eye and when someone asked of it I ran away screaming. I had a problem with inflamation in my ankles as I grew too fast for puberty and I used these gross AF gelly gooyee gell heeles covered in week olds sweat to chase girls away. I didnt keep contact with anyone in primary school except 1 guy whos still my friend but I am rethinking those choices. Those girls I chased away was nice and friendly and treated me with respect, and I chased them away in the worst way. My eyes were always on those pretty popular girls who always bullied me, and I maybe stared at them wayyy too much and I was such a creed JOH, I cringe just thinking of it. I wondered about some of the other people I chased away. some girls were really nice, friendly and beautifiull people and I just ignored them and was an absolute bastard to them. To this day I barely know anyone from that group of 90 kids in my year and didnt keep contact. Kinda sad of me tbh.
the year after that we went to high school, we were grown ups. We had phones and we were almost 350 kids in my grade, but I didnt change. I was seated next to a girl in "homeroom" (idk what it is in english again) and first things first she asked for my number. My fucking immature ass thought she liked me and bam fel in love. She was just nice to me and couldve been a nice friend but I still kept that bastard tendencies from primary. I hopped around her the whole time but said nothing, absolutely creepy. She stayed after school and I remember still that EVERY DAMN DAY after cricket I rerouted the route from my locker to the school gate just to say goodbye, but that was just a andwave maybe and a mumble, I could not keep eye contact. My sorry ass thought we were inlove and she went on with her life, and I just went "oh shes a thot and bitch" "oh Im a nice guy" and so on but FUCK that was cringe, still barely said anything to her.
I think its ok to say I have a sister, and I was also so cringe to her friends. Like man I had a panick attack every time she had friends over and I was SO MUCH OF A BASTARD to them.
My sorry ass started believing, If a girl just makes eye contact, or she just greets you(even ask to lend a fucking eraser) she was in love with you. That girl I previously mentioned, well she went out with a guy the next year and I kinda made good friends with him, But he was kinda just a cunt. wayyyy too arrogant and also a player but I still simped over this 1 girl that was HIS GIRLFRIEND. Well I sent her the cringiest text 1 night on holiday and probably ruined my chances forver, but she left school halfway through the year and broke up with my friend. I was devastated but thinking back it was actually better for my mental health. I believed I stalked her insta for maybe a year and so, she got a bf who was 5 years older with kids (we were 15) so I maybe dodged a bullet idk, I broke all contact. So I had different crushes every week since then because well, I stated how easily I fell in love and basically COULDNT SAY A WORD to any female.
I basically went like this for 4 years and covid barely didnt help shit. covid hit when I was in gr10 and my country was in complete lockdown. My lonely ass went online and used my creepy incellish texts over snapchat and so. I added random people and when they just added me back, I thought "cool she likes me" and sent the creepiest wierdest most incellish texts immagineable. It was so bad. I deleted that account later. I also developed a porn addiction and continued this thing of harrasing random women online for aknogledging my existence and thought they were bitches for rejecting me. "I was such a nice guy, why couldnt they see it" I thought. It was bad for me, I may have used almost every social media at once for this goal and did it for almost a straight year maybe. I tryed to be cool with this social medias and said I was a cool guy, but was such a creep and asshole, and my addiction didnt help. I just stalked random girls from my school online if they gave me any attention in person, and they almost always had boyfriends, but I though "What do they know. they only like muscles and cool guys with money whos mean to them. Im a nice guy why wont they see it". I was an incel through and through, but I never spoke to girls and expected them to flock to me.
Thinking back this was my lowest point. I was locked in my room for hours watching p*** and couldnt speak to anyone. I got salty and depressed and blamed women for my misfortune in live and so on. In school I had only few friends and didnt talk to any girls, just stared at them like a creep.
Then came my final year of high school, and I believe this saved me as a person. The previous year my friendgroup was joined by a girl and guy, and they became my best friends. this girl became my second sister almost. at first I had a crush on her( AS ALWAYS) and I started wearing that thought down, shes a friend and a good friend at that. a person who will listen to you. I started bettering myself. I got rid of addictions and started bettering myself. I met a girl which I now view as my final incel challenge. she was the first girl to hug me every day and I developed a crush, but that ended by me pushing her away, realising she was using me as kinda a rebound and using my height to have a date to prom and being an all around bitch to me, that lasted months and through my simping to her I pushed all other girls away and was a bastard to them too and thats such a long story Im not gonna tell it here.
I made another female friend and she helped me too and from the second half of the final year I was a better person. I bettered my grades, I improved my attitude and tried going out. It worked and well I got rid of my p*** addiction and realised I didnt have these incellish tendencies. I started going to church and deleted ALL of my social media accounts and apps. From now on I'm me not an internet persona.
then it was the end of that version of me. I got into university for engineering at one of our best universities, and got into a university residence(thats also a long story but has a cultural signifigance in my country). I went on a church camp and made so much friends I forgot half their names. I sokkied and danced with girls for hours. My insecurities and so on is gone and I left my anxiety. I have bettered my relationship with my sister and even her friends, people who Ive shunned for years and Im angry for what nice people I have shunned. I have gone on dates and now, I have to go out if I sit in my room for too long.
I am not perfect though, theres still problems and sometimes come of as creepy and I know that. it is a problem but am working to fix it. Everyone should better themselves as a human being
About now, whenever I hear an incel or feminist or whatever political person speak I have 1 answer. GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO PEOPLE. your entire perception is based on a minority of people. theres exist much more outside of your room. BE a better human.

TLDR: I was an incel, was a bastard and absolute cunt to women, met some amazing people and bettered myself. lifes beautifull and you should embrace it. GO TOUCH GRASS
submitted by pietr343 to confessions [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:12 Academic_Bid_6378 Dining Table Design

Dining Table Design Marble top dining table chairs
Are you searching for a way to upgrade your dining room? Look no further than the design of your dinner table. A well-crafted dinner table can serve as a statement piece in your home furniture set, and selecting the right size and shape of the
submitted by Academic_Bid_6378 to Indiahomedecor [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:12 Thick_Mick_Chick Windows to the Soul: Allie's Assimilation

Note: This is part 2 to Shiloh's Final Battle
Gomez and Tish pulled into their driveway and heard barking. They'd gotten a German Shepherd pup when Guillermo Del Toro's "The Strain" was on T.V. As a joke, but also because they loved the character? They named him Thomas Eichhorst after the Nazi vampire who was one of Guillermo Del Toro's most powerful villains ever created. No one put much thought into the name choice considering they loved all things horror. "What the hell has Eichhorst going off? He knows it's us!" Gomez couldn't understand why he'd bark at the 2 people he NEVER barks at. "I can honestly say I'm not even surprised after this day." Tish exhaled and proceeded to get out of the car. Eichhorst continued the call of his people. "IKE! EICHHORST! KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF!" Gomez yelled so Eichhorst could hear because he was behind the chain link fence in the backyard. He acted like he didn't hear a word. As they got closer to the house? They noticed Eichhorst was not barking at them. He was barking at the woods BEHIND them. "He sees something we don't." Tish matter-of-factly stated. She & Gomez simultaneously turned to look into the woods. Nothing. No noise. Nothing was there. Eichhorst stopped barking as soon as they turned towards the woods. Everything stopped. "What the hell is going on, Cara Mia?" Gomez was starting to experience what Tish had all day long. "I don't know, Mon Cher. I just know I don't like it." Tish continued glancing into the trees. "Probably time to sit back and relax. You've had a bad day that ended a rough week. It's time to just chill." As if knowing what Gomez had just said? His city issued phone started ringing. "NO. ABSOLUTELY not! I'm off tonight! What is so critical that Gomer & Goober can't handle it?" Gomez could feel his blood pressure start to rise. "Find out what it is 1st, Craig, before you go into a meltdown." Tish always called him Craig when she was irritated. "Hello?!" Gomez did a poor job hiding his inconvenience. "Man, it's Ol Shiloh! You gotta get over here, Gomez. It's bad! It's so bad!" Bubba was inconsolable. He was on the verge of tears. "Whoa, slow down, Bubba. What happened?" Gomez tried bringing levity. "We came by to check on him when we were on patrol. He was in the doorway, he was..." Bubba finally started crying. He hated it. The last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of his co-workers. He just simply could not process what the hell they'd rolled up on. "Wait? Ol Shiloh is hurt?" Gomez was trying to process what Bubba was saying. Tish's brow furrowed. She didn't like what she was hearing. "I mean, if you consider hurt dead with his fuckin' throat ripped out to his spinal cord? Then? Yeah, he's hurt." Bubba's anger at his own insecurities was boiling over onto Gomez. "Look, Bubba. Clearly you guys have been going through something over there. I'm headed that way. For future reference? Don't take your shit out on me. I didn't do anything to you." Gomez scolded. "Sorry, Gomez. It's just so..." and Bubba broke down further. Gomez hopped back into the car. "What's going on? Who was that? Don? Bubba?" Tish was concerned. "Hop in the passenger's side if you want to find out. I have to go." Gomez started the engine. Tish walked around and got in.
They pulled into Shiloh's driveway behind the Eerie, Indiana patrol car. Bubba came running out to greet them. "Don is in there with him. The paramedics just got here a few minutes ago." Bubba proceeded to catch Gomez up. He and Tish had been so busy looking at Bubba and the patrol car they didn't notice the bus parked to the side of the house ready to pick up Ol Shiloh.
Tish & Gomez entered the threshold where Ol Shiloh laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. His throat. Jesus, his throat. It was gone. They both were rocking back on their heels.
"We thought it was a big cat attack. It's not. Those bite marks on his throat? That's human not feline." Kennedy was an intelligent little bastard. Arrogant, condescending and holier-than-thou, but very intelligent. Not only would he inform all of the insubordinates around him about everything they didn't know? He'd do it with one hell of a cocky attitude. Ah, Kennedy, and his unsolicited lessons. Time to sit up and listen in class. ..
"When he opened the door? We thought it was an animal attack. Instead? He must've been attacked by humans. The bite marks definitely indicate human but the vicious nature of how deep the wounds went indicate something much more powerful. This was to his spinal cord." Kennedy didn't look like he knew-it-all. He looked perplexed.
"But how could a human bite that deep?" Gomez asked.
"I don't know. I honestly don't know." Kennedy was lost for the 1st time since becoming a paramedic 7 years ago. He'd never seen trauma of this caliber. He hadn't even seen this level of brutality and he'd rolled up on gang fights.
Don and Bubba were both on the front porch, looking in, mouths agape. Gomer & Goober indeed.
Kennedy loaded up Ol Shiloh's body with the assistance of a new EMT that Gomez was fairly certain Kennedy was banging. I mean, he was a total Chad so why wouldn't he?
Don put the camera away in the trunk of the patrol car. At least he had the presence of mind to get the pictures taken before emergency services hit the scene. This was going to rock Eerie, Indiana's foundation. Murder hadn't happened here in anyone's lifetime so this was a "big city" problem they weren't use to dealing with. Nosey people, scared kids, idiot media, this was not what Eerie needed right now. It certainly wasn't what he needed. He had enough of Allie putting out for anyone that would buy her a 6 pack or some cigarettes. Had he known he could've gotten off so cheaply? He sure as hell wouldn't have married her. Unfortunately, for his dumb ass? He actually fell in love with her. Why? He didn't know. Self esteem was never his strong suit. So? After dating 6 months, her only cheating 3 times, then getting pregnant with his baby? He made the perilous decision to try to make an honest woman out of her. Don sincerely doubted if Allie had ever been honest about anything in her life. Coincidentally? When they came back from their Honeymoon 2 weeks later? She'd miscarried. Well, she claimed she miscarried. Don never saw a pregnancy test nor would he have been 💯% sure the baby was his. He would've actually suspected the baby was not. Looking at all of it now, how did he not see it sooner?
"Get to those pics, ASAP Rocky, Don!" Gomez instructed. "Please, don't be an embarrassing Gen Xer who thinks he's so cool and up to date on all of the current lingo. They laugh at us only a little less than Boomers." Tish was still trying to get a handle on all of this and his Goofy antics weren't really in need right now.
The woods to the side of Ol Shiloh's place was the same as the woods to the back of Gomez & Tish's driveway. Eichhorst couldn't understand why his humans didn't acknowledge his bark. He never barked. He especially never barked at his humans. Why did they think he had? Didn't they see the kids in the woods? The little boy? The little girl? How could they not? As far away as the kids were? They smelled funny. He didn't understand. It was the same smell in the air that he sensed right before thunderstorms began and he hid under Gomez and Tish's bed. Humans don't smell like that. It's impossible to explain ozone to a German Shepherd.
The children watched as Ol Shiloh was loaded onto the ambulance and taken away. The couple were getting into their car and the deputies were already headed down the driveway.
"It has began." The dark-haired pale little girl spoke. "Indeed. It has. Let's see what Venerate has in store for the humans now." The boy replied and they headed towards town.
Eerie, Indiana was like any other Midwest, small town. You had your good ol boys & jerks. You had freaks and geeks. You had Bible thumpers and always humpers. Allie Hoff was the "always humpers" category. No one nor nothing could change that. The girl went through life bartering sex and blow jobs for anything she needed. It was a pitiful existence and she knew it. Unfortunately? She never learned and didn't know another way. With Eerie being so small? She was limited to the same "favor givers" over and over, again. Never any new blood. Never any fresh meat. It really stifled what few prospects she had. She looked up from where she was slumped over the bar, in her barstool, nursing a bottle of beer. She happened to look up to the front door. Who was that? She'd never seen him in here before. He was about 6'3" with dark wavy hair and ocean blue eyes. His skin was sun kissed and the muscles showcased the entire package. Wait. WTF? This dude doesn't belong here. Who the hell is he?
He appeared to glide and almost float towards her. He gestured to the empty bar stool next to her. "Is this seat taken?" He smiled with almost glowing white teeth. She locked up. Wait? He wants to sit next to me?
She just shook her head no because she was too shocked to speak. "Hi, I'm Vinny." He extended his hand and his gleaming smile never faltered. "Allie." She finally squeaked out. Guys like this didn't talk to girls like her. "Nice to meet you, Allie." Vinny swung around and attempted to get the bartender's attention. "I'll have a Jack & Coke. For the lady?" Vinny slyly smiled at Allie and she was entranced. "Same" was all Allie could say. He paid for their drinks and handed Allie hers. "I've never seen you before." Allie just finally came out with it. "No, I'm new to the area. You wouldn't have seen me around here." Vinny replied. "Oh? New from where?" Allie was trying to proceed with caution. She did not want to miss out on the opportunity that was this gorgeous specimen of a man. "You've never heard of it, trust me. No one ever has." Vinny still held his smile. "I'd still like to know." Allie returned a smile that was nowhere near as beautiful as Vinny's. "Maybe when we get to know each other better." Vinny conceded. "Oh? So we're going to be getting to know each other better, are we?" Allie coyly pressed. "If I have any say in it? Most definitely." Vinny winked. Damn. That boy was so fine she'd drink his bathwater if he peed in it. He was the perfect vision of the perfect man. It was as if he were tailor made just for Allie. How, though? How could she actually meet her real life Manic Pixie Dream boy? The one she'd dreamed about when she was a little girl. The one who laughed at everything she said. Listened attentively. The one who only had eyes for her no matter how many "rich bitch" girls were around. She'd treat him like a postage stamp. She'd lick every square inch of him and go back for 2nds on the important parts. "Allie, you strike me as a very straightforward girl." Vinny snapped her out of her daze. "I am. No bullshit." Allie replied. "Then? Allow me to be straightforward by telling you that I want to fuck you senseless." Vinny casually stated as if someone asked him for the time. "Well, that is certainly straightforward." Allie was stunned. She wasn't so stunned that she'd let an opportunity like this pass her by. She'd made up her mind that was going to happen as soon as she saw him. "And your answer?" Vinny inquired. "Anywhere. Any place. Any time Any day." Allie assured. With that? They stood from their barstools and headed outside. He even smelled good but not a typical smell. It was like the air at the beginning of a thunderstorm. He smelled like ozone. Ozone??? Was that even possible?
Gomez and Tish got home and plopped on the couch. Eichhorst came through the doggy door and trotted straight to Tish. "I've got leftovers, Piggy. Give me a sec." Tish opened her container from the restaurant. Eichhorst sat patiently waiting for his command.
"What a fuckin' day." Gomez exhaled exhaustedly. "Yeah. It has been. Poor Ol Shiloh. This is just too much." Tish's head continued to try to find rationality where there was one. "I'm getting in the shower and going to bed. You need anything?" Gomez slowly rose up from the couch, joints popping like a glow stick. "No. I'm probably gonna watch a movie and go to bed after." Tish answered. "Horror?" Gomez queried. "What else?" Tish smiled albeit a tired one. Eichhorst jumped up next to her on the couch and laid on her like a lap dog.
Vinny was walking Allie into their local little flop hotel room. It wasn't like she wasn't familiar with the place. The staff referred to her as "Frequent flier". She didn't particularly like the insensitive moniker but couldn't deny its accuracy, either. He closed the door behind them in one failed swoop. This was a practiced talent she noticed. Didn't matter. He was hers tonight.
"Make yourself comfortable." Vinny gestured to the only bed in the room. Allie took a seat. She looked up at him and noticed the ozone smell becoming stronger. Weird. He smelled good but she had never known someone to smell like a thunderstorm.
"I'm going to step into the bathroom for just a minute. I'll be right out." Vinny stepped into their adjacent bathroom. She heard loud music and laughter from somewhere down the hall but couldn't quite place where. It was for the best. Allie had always been, well, vocal. Normally? If a guy is hitting it right? She hit the vocal range of 2 stray cats screwing. She couldn't help it. She was like this every since puberty. It was all the girl thought about. She figured she was probably a nympho although she was never officially diagnosed. She couldn't hear what he was doing. It didn't matter. It wasn't going to affect her and what she was doing. She walked to the curtains and made sure they were completely closed. Although they were, why did she feel like she was being watched? She stripped down with the efficiency of a HazMat worker decontaminating. She heard the bathroom door opening. She kept her back turned so she could make the surprise last as long as possible. Was this the night? The night she could finally reach sexual satisfaction? Was this the dick that was going to change her life? There was a soft green glow coming from the bathroom. Must be a nightlight? She hadn't noticed before. Was it getting brighter? It looked like it was coming towards her. Was it Vinny? Maybe he's videoing me? Not like I'd care, but he could have asked. "Are you recording me?" She asked as she continued to look towards the window. His breathing was different. It seemed labored and, well, wet. It didn't sound like he did earlier, that was for sure. "You okay?" Allie asked. His breathing was raspier, louder, wetter. She decided to bail on her romantic idea of not turning around before he reached her. She turned around and her playful nature and smile fell away immediately.
Her brain couldn't process what her eyes were seeing. It couldn't be real. God knows along with banging any guy she could get her hands on, she used to hit hard drugs back in the day. This had to be a flashback. It had to be a "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" scenario. This? This "Mars Attacks!" bullshit right here? This is not reality.
It's bulbous head was transparent. It looked like a barrel eye fish that she saw on a nature show she used to blaze and chill to. That also explained the soft green glow. It sounded like and looked aquatic. That's where the wet sounds were coming from. It kept advancing. It had a white upper torso with arms and webbed fingers on each hand. What sent her over the edge? From the waist down? It was a human male. All the important parts and in working condition. How? She had no idea. But? When she meant working condition? It was working it's way right towards her. Wait, this thing is going to still have sex with me?! No. Absolutely not. "No. Stop." Allie feebly tried to resist. It did no good. Allie didn't know she was the reason he was even here. This was the whole gameplan all along. It was never a casual hook up.
Venerate had studied numerous different civilizations but Terrestrials always fascinated him. They were so primitive but also entertaining. The Alliance had tried many different hybrid trials between themselves and Terrestrials. They never made it out of infancy. There was a weakness that need strengthened in their own DNA to combine with humans. They worked on it until their resolution was Venerate himself. He has the best of what their kind has to offer with the malleable adaptivity to change himself into anything he needs to to be able to convince Terrestrials to trust him. It worked. Ol Shiloh thought Venerate was his deceased wife. Allie thought he was her dream man. He needs a human to impregnate. Beggars can't be choosers. It worked out perfectly. Allie took one look at his bulbous transparent head, his lower nontransparent stiff head and proceeded to pass out on the bed. It didn't matter. Venerate didn't need her awake to begin their hybrid breeding program. And? Begin the program he did. Everything was coming to fruition via the Alliance's vision. All of their hard work finally got them here. The pale, dark-haired children stood outside the hotel room window, peaking through the crack in the curtain. They were able to relay the mission a success with Venerate making first, second and third contact. Once the younglings come forth? The Alliance can begin occupation and what a glorious day that will truly be! Everything was going so perfectly. This just had to be fool proof. They walked off into the night, smiling so much those obsidian eyes even looked less demonic. This was the beginning of prosperity. This was the beginning of the end of humanity.
The Windows to the Soul: Allie's Assimilation
submitted by Thick_Mick_Chick to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:12 Shouzeb-Neyazi-7 My (17M) gf's (17F) mother is threatning me.

See i don't know where to start, i didn't even know where to ask but here i am. So basically me (17,M) and my GF (17,F) recently got into in a relationship about 3 months ago, before that we were really close friends, and we just thought we had the same feeling towards each other so we confessed to each other and here we are. I am not a emotionally connected guy but with her i feel like i cam trully express my self thats why i took the chance and confessed. But thats not why i am here for.
So basically her mom keeps checking her phone from time to time and she once found a picture of us hugging and stuff and she confronted her and told her not to ever meet me again. Somehow we still managed to meet a couple times even though she has a lot of restriction on her. And just like the past few meets we tried to meet again since it had been long since we met each other properly. So we decided that she would ask her mother if she can go to the movies with her best friend (also 17,F) so she went on with the plan that i and the other girl's boyfriend would meet her at the theatre. But what we didn't know that her mother had been spying on us.
Well i don't know for sure but i saw a man acting all shady talking to someone through earphone while i was buying the tickets (the other had not arrived yet so i was all alone) and it looked like he was describing me, he was far away but i could hear some of it..."wearing green t shirt...yeah he is just standing there" i thought that was just me overthinking stuff. Then after thr movies we went to eat, there the other girls mom suddenly came, what more surprising is that the girl told me her mom was on her periods and was having cramps so she was in her room the whole day so she is no way coming here, well she did. And then when my gf reached home her mom confronted her saying "what do you think you are really smart, can i not have men look after you outside (which further solidified my suspicion on that shady man).
So today in the morning her mother called me and started threatning me that if i ever talked to her again she would not only tell this to my parents but take the matter to the police. She said that this could never work out as we both belong to different religion and she doesn't want me close to her daughter and then told me that if i ever tell my gf that her mom called me then also she will be taking actions against me.
I Don't know what to do should i tell my gf about this? ...And tell her not to confront her mother about this and say a word about this, and just keep it to ourself. Or can you guys help out with another plan...i didn't wanted to ask these things here but i am desperate for answers, i have been disturbed since the morning.
submitted by Shouzeb-Neyazi-7 to LegalAdviceIndia [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:11 Heinrich_Bluecher Realising that without the internet I have almost no real world connections - I used the computer to cope when I was younger and it made of me someone with no real life network - Anyone else?

I am just getting a bit of a realisation there that to be honest makes me (very) resentful of my parents and quite bitter.
I never had the opportunity to develop a network of friends, a network of work acquaintances, to be part of a sports or religious community or to even have a family network, because I was scapegoated by my whole family except for my two grandmothers and I spent literally all of my teenage years and early adulthood in my room on the computer isolating.
I was bullied so I never went to do sports in club and still to this day do not because I fear being rejected by a clique. And even if I had not been, my parents made clear it was too costly anyways.
I was a Christian and as much as there is bad in religion being part of a church could have helped me somewhat but my parents made sure to tell me that any religious belief was stupid, that there was nothing above us and that life had no meaning, which made of me a nihilist with tremendous death anxiety and unability to trust in any good higher power. So of course, I stopped going to Church.
I haven't kept a single friend from the whole of middle and high school (I had close to none and those were not friends but rather other bullied people that somehow tolerated my presence) and had finally begun a social life at college but hey, covid happened and there again I was locked between four walls in my parent's flat and I lost it all, I only kept one good friend who is hundreds of miles away now, and a good acquaintance who is also very far away.
Because of the neglect and abuse, I never managed to make any work connections, because I don't have any common reference to people my age, and I just avoid people because I always fear being laughed at and bullied.
I have a sort of computer addiction running for years (since I was 14, I am now 25) but everytime I try to limit, there I go : if I don't go online, I have no one outside of my partner and my sister-in-law to talk or do anything.
I have no family member I can really rely on (grandmothers helps financially but are both emotionally absent and one is sometimes abusive as well), I have no sports club, no friend I can see, no colleagues I get along well with, no network whatsoever and everytime I have a problem it seems I have to figure it out on my own.
The only people I talk to in real life outside of my relationship are basically my physician and my psychologist... it makes me depressed.
I guess I have to at least try going back to Church and subcribing to some sports club that isn't too expensive and full of bullies, but seeing how isolated my early life made me hits hard.
If you read that rant until then, thank you.
submitted by Heinrich_Bluecher to emotionalneglect [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:11 Specific-Term-9719 I Dreamt About Danny, Twice

The first dream I had about Danny we were painting cardboard boxes with my classmates and we were in a glass chamber box thing in a Chucky Cheese type setting. The room flipped onto the side and the room morphed into my living room and there was a vortex sucking up everything then Twice from MHA flew across the room and Danny was screaming.
My second dream that I had had of Danny was not scary, it was about a new Teen Titans movie with a weird pac-man like faces for the animation and Danny complaining about how shit it was like worse than Teen Titans Go.
submitted by Specific-Term-9719 to DannyGonzalez [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:09 shannesoo Single Room at Kenanga Point, Pudu KL Walking Distance to LRT Pudu Hang Tuah Monorail KWC

Single Room at Kenanga Point, Pudu KL Walking Distance to LRT Pudu Hang Tuah Monorail KWC
Shanne 60133619916
Room Detail:
ROOM TYPES: 1) Single Room - RM 600 (with single bed, wardrobe, study table and aircond)
WHAT INCLUDES: - WiFi included - Common area utilities included (room utilities use meter) - 1 set kitchen cabinet - Dining table - Water heater - Refrigerator - Washing machine
FACILITIES: - Swimming Pool - Gymnasium - Cafe & Restaurant - Mini Market - 24 Hours Security
NEARBY AMENITIES: - Walking distance to LRT Pudu / Hang Tuah Monorail Station - KLCC - Lalaport - BBCC - Berjaya Times Square - Sungei Wang Plaza - Plaza Low Yat - Lot 10 - Kenanga Wholesale City (KWC)
submitted by shannesoo to u/shannesoo [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:09 thewallflower98 Good Universities for Bcom?

My cousin has completed his high school in TN, in commerce stream. He's hoping to join a good college in Bangalore for Bcom. Here are some options they are considering. Please provide any information you know. The goal is to get good exposure and possible placements.
submitted by thewallflower98 to bangalore [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:08 SaikyoPsycho One of the best parts about SF6 so far...

Is playing someone in battle hub or a custom room and they get super fucking salty but you uplift them with positive words and help them get better. Those interactions have been wholesome and I'm here for all of it.
submitted by SaikyoPsycho to Kappachino [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:08 aayafit For Rent: 3-Room Apartment in Herzliya Marina Towers 105 sqm of living space 10 sqm balcony Rent: 16,500 ILS/month Maintenance fees: 2,500 ILS/month Amenities: swimming pool, gym, 24/7 security, parking This spacious 3-room apartment +972-54-4787444

For Rent: 3-Room Apartment in Herzliya Marina Towers 105 sqm of living space 10 sqm balcony Rent: 16,500 ILS/month Maintenance fees: 2,500 ILS/month Amenities: swimming pool, gym, 24/7 security, parking This spacious 3-room apartment +972-54-4787444
For Rent: 3-Room Apartment in Herzliya Marina Towers
105 sqm of living space 10 sqm balcony Rent: 16,500 ILS/month Maintenance fees: 2,500 ILS/month Amenities: swimming pool, gym, 24/7 security, parking This spacious 3-room apartment is located in the heart of Herzliya Marina, just steps from the beach. The apartment features a large living room, a spacious kitchen, and 2 bedrooms. The balcony overlooks the Mediterranean Sea. The building offers a variety of amenities, including a swimming pool, a gym, 24/7 security, and parking A.A Yafit Luxury apartments Agent Eitan +972-54-4421444 WhatsApp Agent Yaron +972-52-6960066 WhatsApp

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submitted by aayafit to HerzliyaMarinaEng [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:06 Saebbambus Nephew is an addict

Hello! I'm kinda in need for help. English is not my first language, forgive me.
Context: I'm 28, my nephew is also 28. He grew up with my parents and me until he was 8, lived for a year with my sister and her new husband until he got into foster care till he was 18. Diagnosed with ADHD. My whole family is close to alcohol (brother in law took other stuff too for a long time) and nearly everyone (including nephew and me) are smoking cigarettes.
A few years ago my fiance and me took my nephew to a mental clinic, because he had violent thoughts. He struggles with alcohol but never did accept that. The station he was on was for addicts, he didn't accept it and left the next day.. He has a therapist but we are pretty sure he's not honest with her. Yesterday my fiance was watching soccer with my nephew and his girlfriend, when nephew left the room and she started crying. She said he threatend her so 'slit her open' (the day we took him to the clinic) and his alcohol abuse is getting out of hand. In the last 7 days, there was just one day he was sober.
I want to help him (and her). We grew up together. He's my brother and it's hard for me to see him like this. He's not opening up to me anymore, but we were, for a long time, pretty close. (F*cked up family...) is there anyway I can help him? I tried talking to him, made sure he got therapy, made sure my family isn't offering alcohol the first few minutes of visiting them and more talking...
submitted by Saebbambus to addiction [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:06 Saebbambus Nephew is an addict

Hello! I'm kinda in need for help. English is not my first language, forgive me.
Context: I'm 28, my nephew is also 28. He grew up with my parents and me until he was 8, lived for a year with my sister and her new husband until he got into foster care till he was 18. Diagnosed with ADHD. My whole family is close to alcohol (brother in law took other stuff too for a long time) and nearly everyone (including nephew and me) are smoking cigarettes.
A few years ago my fiance and me took my nephew to a mental clinic, because he had violent thoughts. He struggles with alcohol but never did accept that. The station he was on was for addicts, he didn't accept it and left the next day.. He has a therapist but we are pretty sure he's not honest with her. Yesterday my fiance was watching soccer with my nephew and his girlfriend, when nephew left the room and she started crying. She said he threatend her so 'slit her open' (the day we took him to the clinic) and his alcohol abuse is getting out of hand. In the last 7 days, there was just one day he was sober.
I want to help him (and her). We grew up together. He's my brother and it's hard for me to see him like this. He's not opening up to me anymore, but we were, for a long time, pretty close. (F*cked up family...) is there anyway I can help him? I tried talking to him, made sure he got therapy, made sure my family isn't offering alcohol the first few minutes of visiting them and more talking...
submitted by Saebbambus to addiction [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:06 Ventches Youtube Movie is in an atrocious state, How isnt it being talked about?

I am located outside of the USA, and wanted to one day try out renting a movie on youtube.Only to then realise that it is borderline Unusable.
The Movie was only available on 720p, no subtitles,
and most importantly, NO ABILITY TO CHANGE THE LANGUAGE.
I set my youtube to english language already, but as it seems it grabs your geo-location for the movies language, and its impossible to change the movies audio. I just wanted to watch it in the original english voice acting.
What if somebody is traveling and doesnt speak the local language?
There is as it seems no way to fix this or get a refund on top of it.
I do wonder how we regressed to a state where even basic things that were available on every single disc media are now absent. Youtube not having any sort of customer support means one has to go public to make anything known.
submitted by Ventches to youtube [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:06 ASHKVLT I hate LinkedIn

So the other day I made the mistake of reading linked in comments. I got the whole "gen z buy Iphone so they poor" argument wich is fucking asanine, how many people actually buy a new I phone or whatever as opposed to getting a contract, finance or refurbished? I'm willing to bet not many. But I say I should be able to buy an Iphone or whatever not worry about how my £50 a month contract is actually too expensive. People should be able to have nice things when they are young, I don't understand why anyone is not for that, well I know why it would mean fair wages and things like rent control and the poor business owners just can't afford to loose like %5 profit in exchange for increased worker retention, mental health, satisfaction and productivity.
Then there was the whole "gen z just don't have the skills" yeh motherfucker why don't you have actual graduate programs, it means a more productive workforce on the whole, higher employment and better mental health. Oh shit I forgot, it might mean loosing 0.1% of growth in the short term and less people to bully into 0hr contracts how will massive companies worth hundreds of millions cope without slaves?
The whole "gen z want it all, they want a fulfilling job that pays well" is that sooo much to ask motherfucker? Honestly? I want to make impulse purchases and have nice things without working weekends, like the fuckers I'm ranting about.
Honestly the fact these people exist if fucking horrendous. And they are the ones making decisions? Holy shit. For a lot of people the only meaning they can find in their lives is having nice shit, the job sucks, boss sucks and you have to go e a massive portion of your money to a rich corporation that owns your house, knowing the current system is flushing away your future and everyone else's for a 1% rise in GDP. So what's left is to consume, you can buy Funko pops, Warhammer 40k or AOS, bad dragons, comics, manga, a car and so on. It's kind of like religion being the opiate of the people, you don't start taking Morphine (normally) and you don't become addicted if everything is fine. But it's getting to the point where even that is becoming inaccessible to soo many, then what? What do people do when they can't have their drugs, there plastic crack and silicone smack? I don't think they will actually understand the root of their dissatisfaction is the capitalist system unless people adjutate and sperad class consciousness, kind of as lennin said.
Idk I'm venting
submitted by ASHKVLT to TheDeprogram [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:05 little_miss_bonkers Tenancy ending, new contract means 6 months have to stay here, but we might need to move before then?

My partner and I live in the South of England. Our tennancy ends, end of June. We have been provided a new contract to sign however, instead of our rolling 2 month contract it has now changes to 6 months fixed, then 2 month rolling. We can give notice of two months, but we have to pay for the full 6 months rent, besides not being here for 4 of those months.
The issue is, my partner might be getting a new job this month. Meaning we will have to re-locate as its quite far away.
With our old lease we have to give two months notice with our contract, its rolling so it was fine. As it ends this month, we cannot give two months notice. It's either move out or sign the contract.
He has the final interview next week when he is hoping they will offer the job at the end, but I dont want to sign anything or say we are moving out until he has a signed contract and start date formulized.
We can't sign the new contract until we know hes not got the job, then I am happy to sign the new contract and keep staying here for 6 months.
This would have been fine if we kept with our rolling two month contract, we have lived here three years now, I do not know why this has changed, besides me getting a service dog. But this has now changes causing me stress, I hate leaving things last minute and sometimes getting a new job confirmed can take more than a few weeks.
We are also on holiday for 7 days from the 22nd of June. Hopefully he will know before we go on holiday. But then we will have to come back from a relaxing chill holiday, to packing and emmergency moving out ASAP prob into my partners parents home temporary until we find a place in the new location.
Which is fine, I WFH but his dad suffers from cancer, going in for Major surgery tomorrow and he will be at his lowest, I am more than happy to help his ma out round the house and cook/clean and pay for food and bills to make things less stressful but surely when you are at your lowest, need help pain management having your son move back in for a month is not a helpful situation.
Can we just not sign and move out when we are back? Can we talk to the agency and ask to stay two months rent paid or is that not a thing that happens?
We asked why our two month rolling contract was changed, the agency said they offered a 6 month fixed contract to the landlord and he liked it, so they are going with that. Thats it, no room for debate there.
submitted by little_miss_bonkers to HousingUK [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:05 jraf96 Using equity to purchase new property?

Own a property purchased for 710k. Valued at 800k.
Only put up 35k for 5% deposit at the time. No LVR (Medical).
I've since paid off another 35k. I'm on 170k/annum currently.
I have 150k of funds in an offset. I'm wanting to know when the right time to purchase next property would be? And how the process would work? Should I wait till I pay more off - Any thoughts on what I might be approved for?
I'd like to ideally move into the new purchase and live there for a year (CGT implications), and rent out my current place.
submitted by jraf96 to AusFinance [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:04 Ok_Roll2770 Can I accept a job abroad while spouse is on 5 yr route?

I've just been offered a job abroad. My spouse is on the 5 yr route and due to apply for ILR in June 2024. I would start the job in Oct 2023. The salary is abroad and I would not be paying UK tax. She has a good job in the UK. We live together and would maintain the same residence while I'm abroad. For the 9 months until renewal I would be able to return for 40 days in March/April and 14 days in June to work from London. She can join me starting from Jan 2024 but not for longer than 2 or 3 weeks at a time if she intends to keep her job. I intend to keep the job for a few years and then eventually return to settle in the UK again. Out plan is that, once she has the ILR she would join me abroad and we'd eventually return to the UK
Can I accept the position and not jeopardise her ILR application somehow? Income-wise we can rely on her income from her job which is sufficient without my income (both are individually higher than the minimum requirement). My worry is about the "living together" clause. We intend to maintain our residence (renting) together with both of our names on everything while I'm away.
Any tips? :)
submitted by Ok_Roll2770 to ukvisa [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 12:04 idunnosorrylol i’m think i’m miserable

extremely new to reddit. sorry. just really need a place to talk. this will probably be long.
10 years ago i lost my dad to stomach cancer. they found it very late so he died very quickly after being diagnosed. he chose hospice so i was there every part of the way to watch him die. i was 13 and it really messed me up. i still have unresolved trauma from it.
since then, i have suffered from very persistent and extreme depression and anxiety, and some ptsd. it obviously impacted my formative teenage years intensely negatively. i struggled with serious suicidal thoughts all through high school. since graduating in 2017, it slowly got less severe, but depending on life events could easily come back full force.
for the better part of this past decade i attempted to receive help through therapy, psychiatry, and many, many prescription medications. i have throughly exhausted these tools that i was lucky enough to receive thanks to my caring mother. however, it was never enough. i do not feel that with this help there was ever any noteworthy improvement. i have not been to therapy for over a year and i have not taken any medication for two. i do not intend to seek further help in either form.
the reason i have come here to talk now though is not because of any of this. about two months ago now, my mother died of cancer too. it wasn’t like my father’s. it was a much more torturous and cruel experience for my family and i in how slow and debilitating it was. she was first diagnosed with liposarcoma a few years ago. it’s a very rare form of cancer in which there is very little to do in way of treatment. she underwent a successful surgery to remove a huge tumor. the nurses and doctor admitted it was a miracle she survived. she was cancer free for a couple years, but another tumor formed. she needed surgery again, but she suffered a lot more from the ordeal this time. they removed a kidney and some muscle. she was much weaker afterwards. but still she fought to be healthier, so it wouldn’t come back. less than a year later, it came back anyway. too big a tumor for surgery in her current physical state. she was forced to choose between chemotherapy to attempt to shrink the tumor, or live like normal as long as she could until it killed her. she chose to take a chance with chemo. it ruined her. she couldn’t complete the full treatment plan. it wasn’t even working in the first place. she couldn’t undergo surgery. all that was left was for her to die. and just like my father i watched her rot. i watched as her body and mind failed her. an impossibly cruel fate for someone so beautiful and kind and loving. she deserved a much better life than what she got. and that is putting it egregiously lightly.
because of my mental state i made my mother suffer through my youth. i’m the youngest of four children so she already worried about me the most. i amplified her anxiety tenfold. at times i was cruel to her due to my struggles with anger management. i am not satisfied with my relationship with my mother. i always wanted to be much, much better for her. but the reality is that i’m not. i tried to step up past my limits for her during her final months, but i’m kidding myself if i thought even for a moment it could make up for the years of pain and disrespect i inflicted upon her. i always have and always will hate myself for it.
i was not ready to lose my mother, and i mean that in multiple ways. due to my extensive depression i spent almost all my days up until maybe 2021 doing absolutely nothing but finding distractions from reality. my life was consumed by pastimes like video games and anime. because of this, i have few life skills. my mother had immeasurable knowledge and talent. yet i never took the time to learn anything from her. i relied on her for much, much more than i ever realized. i moved out almost a year ago to rent a place with a couple of my very good friends. i work a minimum wage job because i dropped out of community college after 2 years. i can barely take care of myself. i make only enough money for rent and utilities. i can’t afford food. thus far my mom was helping me pay for extra things and if i’m lucky my roommates will buy me food but now that she’s dead i’m totally on my own with supporting myself and it’s just starting to hit me when i paid my credit card bill and have next to nothing left.
i have a very wonderful boyfriend. we’ve been dating for 2 years. he is genuinely perfect and has changed my life. up to this point we have shared the kind of love you think is fake or only exists in books and movies. i thought i would be able to survive my mother’s passing with his support. for a time i did. we are long distance but he came to visit right after she died. he stayed with me for more than a month and even though my loss was painful i still thought things would be okay because i want to share a future with him. however, since he left and since i’ve returned to work, i have felt my mental state rapidly decline. it is to the point i fear i’m straining our relationship. he is desperately trying to help, but his words don’t seem to comfort me anymore.
i cry every night now. even on nights where i’m too hopeless or numb to cry, i cry in my dreams. i have never, ever been at this low a point in my life. not even losing my father left me like this. my friends have all been laughably removed from my suffering. my two roommates who i considered my closest friends are so far removed from this that neither of them even spared a typical “sorry for your loss” when she died. it disgusts me. everyone in my friend group either has never lost a loved one, or has such a terrible relationship with their parent(s) that they couldn’t even imagine what it feels like to love a parent, let alone lose one. which means the lack of empathy is utterly horrendous and intolerable. even sympathy can be too much to ask from these people on this topic.
all of that is to say i am isolated in my own purgatory. i feel nothing anymore but anger and disgust. hobbies and pastimes i used to enjoy that would have helped me in the past mean nothing to me anymore. my suffering is amplified by the fact that i have been mildly lashing out at my boyfriend, the one person in my life right now who has been actively listening to me and caring for me through the entire unfiltered experience of watching my mother die. i reward his patience and positivity with contempt or blatant disregard in favor of misery. at times i am angry with him simply because i see him as an obstacle preventing me from killing myself. because if he wasn’t in my life, i 100% would be dead right now. and every day that i survive amplifies my desire for suicide just a bit more. i don’t know how long this will go on. it’s starting to affect my memory, because i feel like i can’t even remember the things about my boyfriend that make me happy. when i try to remember anything specific about us i can’t focus on it. nothing is there. i can’t remove myself from this numbness and it infuriates me. i don’t want to self sabotage this relationship but i’m afraid i can’t stop it from happening.
i guess a tldr would be hey i have watched both of my parents die from cancer and it has given me insurmountable trauma, i truly lack emotion now but i struggle with killing myself cuz there is a small sense of self that still worries about my godsend boyfriend. i just don’t know what i want from life anymore
submitted by idunnosorrylol to depressed [link] [comments]