I tried thinking about it in many different ways, but I feel hopeless.

1:

Whenever I used to complain about things, I've always kept reminding myself that there's always worse, that some people weren't blessed with the same things as I do and that I should be grateful. I simply cannot say that even though I am trully grateful to my parents for making such commodities available to me we are sadly stuck in a country in which the wages make it feel to me that I'd have to work 30 years from now in order to feel comfortable about myself/affording the buy myself my own (modest)apartment and thats after finishing college and being an " engineer ", it simply feels like my parents worked hard and invested for me to have a better life and that better life cannot offer me at least something close to what they have been giving me(in order for me to also give to my future children) And what's simply worse is that I tried working and I simply had such a bad experience working for sorts of a big company just because my boss would never at least say something nice when I'd finish something that no one else wanted to do. Right now I am just sitting at home, living with my parents feeling like shit and I've not giving up just because of my mother.

2:

My love life is a mess, I've been alone the past 6 years, long story short I've been depressed after being dumped with no explanation even though I've applied everything I learned from past relationships and I've tried to prioritase communication over everything else since I feel like that can solve everything between people. Doing the after math I simply felt like no one would ever be able to grasp my personality nor I'll ever be able to find someone who would care enough about me to put the effort in watching me to point out my mistakes and be there to keep me on the right path to surpass them. (yea I tried dating other people and they always left me with the idea that I am creepy or that I am acting way to serious but idk I was just trying my best to make sure that everything is alright but sadly thats not the way it works. I'm at a point where I simply respect the idea of women so much that I don't bother anymore to try to talk to them and they simply never have reached out to me either in all those years).

3:

I feel excluded from my group of friends, or I should say that I sorts of expected them to take my side sometimes in front of other useless people that don't care about them the same way that I do(if that makes sense). That and the fact that most of them are having a partner someone they love and sadly I am mature enough to be understanding, not get upset, offer them space and accept my place in their life.

4:

I simply came to the conclusion that wealth is made on being good at marketing in order to cash in on people who are either desperate to provide for their families (coming from other countries working minimum wages) or legit folling people to buy things off you that you get cheap and sell them 3x. It might sound stupid considering the topic, but how on earth is it okay that we let people amass such otherworldly money like how on earth are laws still applicable to them, like go tell anyone with over 10b that visits a poor country that he cannot do something.

5:

for how long we'll keep turning a blind eye to the fact we are thought how to become workers who pay 40-60%tax on income while anyone who's rich pays 1-3%, like I am trying to start something on my own and my family simply feels insulted by my ambition to break the chain of making money for someone else. idk the list could go on forever, I simply wish I was dumb and not care about those things. i wish people would understand and the world would be better place but sadly it feels to late for people to wake up.

Behold! The magic of words and other strings of letters to make me sound interesting! You can't see it right now but my wizard hat is bent and my writings are actually lies. I'm not a magical man. I am, however, quite hilarious. Looking. I'm not. It's magic. IT'S AN ILLUSION.
So I'm going to cast a spell on each and every one of you but you have to tell me what ends up happening because I can't control this damn wand and my crystal ball is actually a made out of candy and I'm confused and I need an adult.
Wait-a-minute...this book has something written inside of it. It says, "Big booties to the front and little hooties in front of that." Holy crap, who wrote this thing?! It was probably Merlin, that creepy old codger. He's a very smart man, though. These pages of spells are stuck together. Ugh. I'm gonna just put this away now.
Dating apps are hard for wizards. Do you know how many times I've had people tell me "there's magic between us?" It still makes me blush, though. I also dont have a long white beard but I am 4000 years old. Not smart, but I am old and grey. I also fart dust. Magic dust. It's like pixie dust but more magical.
Thank goodness these robes are loose fitting because I have found the weight I lost during the dark ages (the last few years). I can still throw it back, though.
Send me a parchment, bird, paper airplane, or a message! I'm hoping to hear from you. Maybe we'll make some magic of our own.
^{I'm not sorry.}

Greetings, Reddit community!
I am a 17-year-old high school student from Canada, and ever since I was 15, I have been certain about my desire to become an entrepreneur. The driving force behind my passion is the exhilarating experience of tackling problems head-on and dedicating my thoughts solely to finding solutions. I have ADHD, and although I find it challenging to focus on uninteresting tasks, I enter a state of intense concentration when I'm engaged in something that captivates me. It's a deeply satisfying feeling.
It didn't take long for me to realize that entrepreneurship was my calling. At the age of 16, I also recognized a pattern in a country's growth and development. Typically, there are periods of conflict and numerous challenges before the nation gradually enters a more stable and progressive phase, resulting in exponential growth across various sectors. However, I felt discontented living in a highly competitive country where there were limited opportunities for creating something new, unlike countries that hadn't experienced rapid growth.
This led me to contemplate what I could do differently, and I had a realization. Since my parents and I are immigrants from Africa (I arrived at such a young age that I don't even remember my birth country), I became aware that although my original country is relatively stable now with no war, it still faces problems such as hunger, electricity shortages, and supply-demand imbalances. Additionally, I have an uncle who holds a significant position within the government.
With these considerations in mind, I thought to myself, "Why not leverage my circumstances to generate profit?" I know that my father owns extensive plots of land, some of which are being developed into farms while others remain vast, empty spaces. Moreover, the cost of constructing houses or buildings in my birth country is substantially different from that in Canada.
This sparked the following ideas:

1. As soon as I can manage it, I intend to work tirelessly for around 12 hours a day, taking on jobs like Ubering, DoorDashing, and remote work opportunities (given my language skills in English, Arabic, Turkish, and some Mandarin). By pushing myself to the limit and maximizing my earning potential, I believe I can generate a minimum annual income of $60,000. With that capital, I plan to construct a hotel or luxury homes within an affordable range. Furthermore, I intend to have a conversation with my uncle, exploring ways to operate more freely instead of being viewed solely as a foreign investor or an average citizen.
   
2. Simultaneously, I aim to save money diligently and pursue a degree in electrical engineering, mastering the subject thoroughly. My goal is to establish a solar energy company that addresses the growing demand for electricity.
   
3. My father possesses at least four plots of land spanning 10km to 15km, which he intended to convert into farms but hasn't taken action due to a lack of knowledge and motivation. These lands are exceptionally fertile. One of them is situated in an area where a city is currently under construction. I have the opportunity to purchase it from my father at a reasonable price and develop a farm for sale or export. Additionally, I could use another piece of land to construct apartment buildings within the same city. I'm also aware of Sudanese refugees and other individuals seeking homes in the area due to its convenience. Given that the region is predominantly occupied by my clan (which falls within a larger tribe), many clan members own land but lack the means to initiate projects. Consequently, numerous individuals are open to selling their land, providing me with potential investment opportunities.
   
4. I'm open to suggestions and ideas. What other avenues could I explore to maximize my entrepreneurial endeavors ?
   

I dont want to precise which country in africa it is but its somewhere between east , north and west africa. Its not congo or some other popular country

I know someone in my family tree that engaged a self-proclaimed fengshui master who not only took her money but ended up harassing her. She was complaining to me a few days ago that she had to delete her Reddit account because she was being spammed by his messages. He used different accounts to threatened her. Wa lao how many times must I hear this story, seriously the guy must stop it. So I am posting on behalf of her.
Think more people should read this and learn her lesson. If he harassed me here, I will also report him to the police. So here goes the story:
Hello guys, I hope if you see this post you will stop scrolling and take a moment to read the worst mistake of my life.
This is a traumatising story of how I paid for a fengshui house hunting by a fengshui/bazi guy who ended up threatening and harassing me.
I was looking for a fengshui “master” last year and found one that was recommended by a few media outlets. Browsing through his website, it was stated that he had graduated from the University Scholars’ Programme (USP). Hence, I thought that he was my senior because I was from the University Scholars’ Programme too. Given these supporting credentials, I decided to engage him for a fengshui house-hunting service that cost $5,888.
In hindsight, this turned out to be the worst mistake of my life, and I wish I had vetted his character and background properly before choosing to engage him. I later realised that he did not graduate from the University Scholar Programme but had lied about graduating from there on his blog. I also found out that he used to participate in a MLM scamming business before moving on to fengshui/bazi.
During his period of engagement, the fengshui guy realised that I had more knowledge than him and blatantly used me to help him interpret his client’s charts, as well as his charts that concerned his personal matters. I gullibly helped him to read his charts for a period of time before realising that it is strange that a “master” with more than 10 years of ‘experience’ is seeking my advice. Btw I have only a year worth of learning experience.
Finally I woke up and refused to feed him my knowledge but he still pestered me for it. Upon failing to obtain any bargaining chips for blackmail, he threatened to harm my family and posted lies about me and my family online.
Needless to say, resorting to using family members as leverage to achieve his goals is nothing short of despicable. I feel very sorry to my family members and would like to apologise for dragging them into this matter. Seeing as I was not capitulating to his threats of aggression, he abandoned his professionalism, and refused to complete the rest of the fengshui service which I had already paid upfront in full. In addition, he told me not to ever contact him again, and subsequently blocked me on messaging applications.
Since no compensation was provided for the failure to complete the agreed-upon services, I decided to make a police report. He only made a restitution of $488 after the police report was filed, and threatened me not to blow the matter up. He was afraid that if I were to expose him, he would lose his career and become unable to support his wife who relies on his $50,000+ income from fengshui/bazi business.
Even till today, his fengshui/bazi business is still not shut down yet and people still believe in him. I have made a police report and I hope that more people can report him so that the police will clamp down on his activities. I wish I could tell people not to believe in fengshui/bazi so that people like him would not be given a chance to profit $50,000 and more a month. They should find proper jobs instead of selling hocus pocus to the general public.
I have reported him to be police but investigations are still ongoing. He also threatened to sue me and the reporters for defamation. Yet what I have written is the nothing but the truth. The main reason why I am not exposing his name is because I do not want anyone to end up threatening or harassing him like what he did to me.
My purpose is not to name and shame him, rather, I am posting my story because I want people to see what a ENORMOUS price I paid for a voodoo service that cannot be backed by science.
THUS I AM BESEECHING ALL OF YOU WHO COME ACROSS MY POST TO LEARN FROM MY LESSON. Please don’t anyhow give your money away to fengshui/bazi guy and also if you able to get a house, please just be thankful ok? No need to pay thousands to see whatever fengshui. The fact that you have a house in this current booming property market means that you are tremendously blessed.

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Hello, I just recently got into this with the Lannister vs. Stark starter set. I'd like to play more but before I invest more I was curious as to who you all think I should play.
I have no real knowledge or attachment to the setting but can appreciate the fluff of factions to play them.
I am a diehard chaos player from the Warhammer suite of wargames, I love their aesthetic and play style. Heavy armor, evil-looking, and intimidating.
I like the control type of playstyle that Slaves to Darkness from AoS provides, they are a toolbox army that you can fine-tune units towards defined roles.
I appreciate any tips in the right direction and feel free to just sell me on your faction, who knows I can be convinced.

Hi all
I just wanted to put a few of my thoughts down here on reddit, I don't mind if others dont agree but i just want to share my point of view and what ive learned from God...
God is almighty. He loves us all no matter what sins we've done in the past. Sins are acts that go against the ten commandments in the Bible.
I feel that love and understanding of others should be our top priority in life, we should never judge others because we haven't lived their life, we don't understand the complexity of their minds, their experiences, their feelings, their fears and why they do the things they do. Remember that we are not our thoughts we are higher than our thoughts. Just because we think something, does not make it so. We can choose to accept or reject it. We should respect one another and not pull others down we do not agree with, we're all human no one is better than anyone else. People do things we don't agree with, all we can do is live our life and trust God's plan for ourselves. We should never compare ourselves to others, we're all special. We all have something to give to others, we're all good at something. Some are smarter in some ways than others, but we all have a speciality we should use for good and God.
Don't assume things about others, always find out facts before jumping to conclusions as sometimes, (I don't know if this happens to anyone else by the way), but I feel God tests others I meet through me... im very quiet and sometimes people, I feel,mistake my quietness for ignorance or that I'm hiding something sinister. I'm quiet because im shy, respectful to others and I value others opinion, I like listening to others, im humble and sometimes silence speaks more than words.
I want to help others and the first step is understanding their problems. We all have unique battles to face both in the world and within ourselves, and God helps us along the way. I feel a good first step is to remember your thoughts arnt always facts, just because a lot of people hold the same opinion they feel it adds more weight to something, however sometimes everyone is wrong...only God is right.
Things happen in our lives that we don't like. Life is grossly unfair sometimes...we have some living their best life and we have a lot of poor people suffering in silence and in poverty. God can't control our actions or the actions of others and sometimes things happen without warning. I know God watches over all of us. We're not all robots under Gods command...we wouldnt be free. He gave us all free will, he guides us all if we love one another and him, he shows us things to test us sometimes and he tries to help us become more like his son Jesus. If everything was perfect in our lives and if we lived forever here on Earth we wouldn't need to go to heaven, we'd already be there.
Life is a test of our faith, those who push themselves to the top at the expense of others will be judged unfavourably, if you love others and put God first, its like a guarantee that your life has meaning and purpose. By sinning your whole life and not listening to what God trys to tell you, its a risk, a very big risk. Its a risk we shouldn't take, no one is sure about what happens when we die, wouldn't it be wiser to inherit a place in heaven through Jesus Christ then to cast it all away and not listen to God's message of love and peace. Jesus loves us all so much that he died for our sins in the most brutal and painful way possible, he was blameless and he made the ultimate sacrifice for us all, not because of greed or selfishness but because he loves us all! And then he rose again! no man can do this only God can do this!
God forgives all sins you just have to realise this and stop sinning when you are introduced to God, if you know full well what you are doing is wrong, why do it? No one is beyond redemption...no one. Everyone has the power to be strong in faith even if your body is weak. You can accomplish anything with God...if you are pure hearted and your motives are true to God. Let God strengthen you, no harm can come to your soul with God at your side, your body will wither away and die but your soul will live forever with God, you don't have to be afraid of anything. Suffering is temporary, you dont have to be scared once God is in your life, it may not seem like it, but the reward at the end is worth it, we have no idea how much love and warmth and belonging you have with God, all are welcome...he knows everything about each and every one of us, he created us all, after all, he knows our pasts, our futures, our feelings, what we choose and why... everything. He wants us all to be by his side, but he knows many will reject him but those that join him in the kingdom of heaven he will cherish forever, he knows the outcome of everything, God planned it all from the start of existence, God is perfect, God is love. Praise the almighty God and his Son Jesus Christ Hallelujah!
The devil influences people on Earth but with God nothing can harm you. Gods armour is impenetrable. Innocents suffer, why? how can God let this happen? it is not God it is the sin we let into the world. Why do we sin? to impress others? to fit in? selfishness? Its not worth it in the end, make a stand and be unlike what is in 'fashion' at this time and dont pay attention to what others are doing. These days a lot of people generally do whatever they want regardless of whether they should... life without God is chaos. People influence others. People can justify anything in their minds on issues regarding what's morally right and wrong. Remember, God is perfect, no man or woman can compare. God is always right. He should always come first in everything we do. He made us all and he's very real, not just in our minds, trust me! What is seen on Earth comes from the transient world we let sin into, what is unseen is eternal. We could never conclusively prove God exists or doesn't exist through science, God has thought of everything he is perfect.
Never harm others...physically, emotionally in anyway. Put yourself in others shoes not because God tells you to in the Bible but because you could have been the other person in that position, how would you feel if roles were reversed? When you sin it affects not only youself but the other person on the recieving end...revenge, hate and anger may be on the minds of the victim this is the aftermath of sin. Learn to forgive and forget, understand when you're in that position on the recieving end of sin to turn the other cheek...God is forgiving and we should be too.
That thing you've been thriving for your whole life, that one thing that slips through your fingers everytime...you don't need it, all you need is God's love. In heaven, that thing you wanted here on Earth can't even compare. Life is hard, it would be nice with that thing you wanted, but do you really need it? try to think that if situations were different the thing might never have been there to recieve in the first place, so dont worry that you dont get what you want on Earth. Others have lived before you without it, what makes you more privileged than them...we are all children of God.
When you are feeble you are strong, when you have nothing and life has taken everything from you...God is at his closest to you. When you see no hope of a better future, God protects you...hes always there he won't let you take a burden alone. He loves us so much...we are his children, he'll NEVER leave us. Your relationship with God should be that he's the Father and we are the child, he knows better than us...he sees what we do not see, we know it is to protect us, he should be respected and feared to prevent us from sinning becuase he doesnt want us to fail and make mistakes.
I've made mistakes, anger at others has sometimes overwhelmed me, and im far too hard on myself, i havn't been well in the last few weeks but with God at the core of my life now I have great understanding and peace. My love for my wife and our daugther and all my family members shines through, I never want to stray from God and I know I dont have to worry about anything because God is watching over me and my family at all times.
God is perfect you can't deny him, with his help I'm becoming wiser everyday, God never changes and neither should we once we've found him in our lives. I feel the world overcomplicates things, i just want to put my opinion accross to share what ive been through and shown by God in my life. He has given me so much wisdom everything I've said here God has shown me in some way or another, hes shown me some amazing things, I'm just spreading his word....I dont want wealth or fame, i dont want anything in return, I just want to help God save his children in these dark times. I hope this helps someone and makes them realise there's more than what we see here on Earth.
I just get these sort of like visions gifted to me. I don't know who I am or if I'm special to other Christians, I know im a man and I know I love God and everyone he has made regardeless of their actions, hate the sin itself not the one who did it, I pray for all who are suffering in the world at the moment and I wish everyone the best.
God bless
Happiness and love to all who read this

Hello, I wanted to ask if anyone has experienced never receiving their rental deposit after moving out. My family & I moved out April 1st and still haven’t received our deposit. I have an understanding that by April 22nd, we’re supposed to get it back or at least have an itemized statement. I’ve generated a demand letter, but I’ve hit a bump in the process. I’m not sure how to give it to our previous landowner. She went out of the country after retirement (left us with a phone number, which I believe we still have contact to) Once she retired, she was hard to contact. We ended up giving the keys to the house to her brother who lived nearby. Would my best option be giving it to her brother or is this just a lost cause?
Not sure if this is the right sub to post to, but any help would be greatly appreciated!
Edit: I do have her email as well. She supposedly returned end of April to sell the home we lived in and it’s definitely up for sale.

I need some advice. Im new to this
Hello new to the sawmilling industry i guess you could say, and to reddit.
So i have a woodmizer lt70, ive recently been starting to make and sell lumber from. Usually i have only sold firewood from my property but we got a sawmill and i guess firewood customers now have been inquiiring for sawmill services. THIS SAWMILL STAYS ON THE PROPERTY and i had a customer who drove in a week or two ago and asked me to build them and provide them with lumber for a 10’ by 12’ foot shed for a lawn tractor. I went and dug 6, 5 foot holes for the foundation of the structure, ontop of that the customer had me dig 25, 5 foot holes for his garden to put a new fence in. Now they had me sign a contract the last day i worked at their house saying theyd gradually pay me once they seen more work being done.
I used my saw mill at my house and cut all their lumber spent two days doing it in totaly but that doesnt account for me fixing my saw mill for 4 days in between the two days of me cutting their lumber .
They just called me to tell me they arent proceeding with my work due to family emergency and willing to pay me 100$ for my work that i have done.
1: I dont think thats fair considering the amount of lumber and time spent cutting the lumber was 2: me going and digging the wholes those two days
But ultimately i feel im screwed over because of the contract i signed .
I was bringing the lumber their in the next day and that wouldve been my first pay from them and thats why i feel like they screwed me over and thats how theyre going to get away with not paying me
What can i say to them ideally i want them to pay me for digging the wholes and cutting all that specific lumber

History has a tendency to repeat itself . As memory fades , events of the past can become events of the present
Similarities between Adoflendra Moditler and Adolf Hitler -
1- Modi supports businesses by giving them subsidies and the country’s resources at extremely low prices. Hitler provided German companies with slaves and other financial support in order to seek their support. Modi’s Lok Sabha campaign depended greatly on businesses for funding, no wonder every major Indian newspaper provided front page space to him during elections.
2- Modi’s political party – Bhartiya Janty Party (BJP) is part of the Rashtriya Swamsevak Sangh (RSS), which follows an extreme right-wing Hindu ideology. Aside from their fascist Hindutva only policy, RSS uses Nazi salutes and stages grand rallies with workers dressed just like Nazis. Hilter’s Mein Kampf is recommended to be read by members of the RSS. Just like Hiter wanted all Jews to be removed from Germany, Modi wants a Hindu only nation, this is evident from the fact that he blames the ills of the society on a certain section of society, mainly Muslims.
3- Both rose on a platform of gross dis-satisfaction against the existing government. Their policies and speeches show more hate towards the opposition rather than a true desire to move forward.
4 - In the BJP, one person is above than the party itself and its ideology. Similar to Hitler, Modi does not tolerate dissent within the BJP and his regime in India will likely favor a very authoritarian power structure.
5- His supporters target anyone, even members of other parties who have been given security by the Government are not spared. In 2002, India witnessed a statewide massacre of Muslims in Gujarat through hands of mobs. The massacres were similar to holocaust of the Jews and attacks on their business in Kristallnacht. Similar incidents were witnessed before the elections on a smaller scale. Do minorities in India need to get ready for a full scale Kristallnacht after Modi comes into power?
6- Both have a strong fanatical support base, ready to elevate their positions way beyond what they deserve. Similar to the “Hail Hilter” and similar slogans, fanatics have changed religious slogans in support of Modi. “Har Har Modi” was used as a battle-cry in support of Modi during elections.
7-Similar to Hilter, Modi promoted himself as a celibate. By hiding his wife, Modi declared himself a bachelor without a domestic life, dedicated entirely to his political mission.
8-He is a recluse just like Hitler. Modi doesn’t keep any contact with any of his family members neither did Hitler
9- Both are extremely nationalist. Modi is probably the most hardline nationalist candidate in the election today. Both tout the perfection of their respective motherland (or fatherland in the case of Hitler) and the promise of a return to the “glorious past”.

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💜 Hoopa-6ivs & Volcanion-5ivs are SHINY HACKS! (Only for Collection Purpose)! The Charmander is a Legit Shiny GB Icon from my Silver VC (Used the cloning glitch in gen2)! Trade me anything besides Eggs! Have 10 each of them!
🩷 My Ign: Lilith Rose
💚 Who do you want or all 3?
💙 ❗❗ONLY for Collection Purpose for Hoopa & Volcanion!(DON'T use in online battles/rank/competition/raids/etc)❗❗
🩵 Need your Ign (Trainer In Game Name) No Ign= No Trade. & Enjoy ❤️

Hello, im an arki college student and life's been hard lately. My dad was hospitalized 2 times this year, and my auntie is a retired doctor na but she still provides mga basic necessities nmin, she's the one nag papaaral samin kasi my dad was so reckless with his money and forgot na may anak sya na need paaralin. Its getting harder and harder for me to ask money from my auntie kasi lahat ng gastusin sya sumasalo. My dad medical fees, tuition fee ko and ng sister ko and lahat. And i want to help her kahit papaano by shouldering my own gastos like pamasahe, materials and other more. And there's this mga tao sa fb who'll message you and ask if need mo part time job and i attended their orientation or something, and it really sounds fishy i checked their fb site and it seems like prerecorded na yung zoom meeting and yung mga participants is prang co worker na nila who's pretending to be baguhan palang, and they're asking for a 49k investment so they can give you their products that you can sell.(basta yun it sounds really fishy and i immediately left and chatted the person who invited me na sorry I don't think it was the right job for me chuchuu) Sooo do you guys know mga part time job or anything that's flexible?

Back in my first 2 years on naval base san diego I remember being told to avoid people trying to sell you cars and going to the dealerships that are within walking distance of base, now that I'm a little older I would like to think I know not to be sold on a too sweet deal and knowing people who are knowledgeable and have haggled with cars before and knowing how to spot a polished turd would it still be stupid to go to one of those places to see if I can get a car at a cheaper price? I got into a wreck a week ago and my car isn't looking good so I'm looking to get something like a newer Honda accord and I could afford to pay more?

 Hello, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post, but I wanted to ask for anyone's opinions. Recently came across a resin kit on ebay being sold by a seller whose been active for 2-3 years. It's a kit I have been unable to find available anywhere else, and for a decent price. The seller has 100% reviews, 92 in total I believe, with only the last few seeming a bit off (2 triplets) and 2 neutral. I'm unable to tell if the rest are authentic or not, but I'm giving the benefit of the doubt. The seller also seems to be selling of the same studio, and multiple other figures, with the lowest priced of the bunch simply lesser of quality- not exactly lesser quality but not the same detail and whatnots. I've also messaged the seller and asked for a picture of the kits pieces, and they obliged fairly quickly and nicely (although I understand the kit itself may be a replicate/stolen, which I do need to think a bit about for morals). However, they also put the picture on the posting and not in messages due to slow sending photos. It's also a photo I've not been able to find as of late, so at least it's not the first photo searched? I was also wondering if that was normal, and if it were to be a scam if they would've replied at all. I feel bad for questioning the authenticity due to the hassle I've already asked of them (if they are legit). Though, I also feel stupid for writing a whole paragraph to ask for opinions because I really want this to be legit 😅 

...and I don't want to play tug-of-war with at least $150, that I really shouldn't be playing with.
It's a Narin Studios predator kit if that.. helps at all?
I've never bought something like this off of eBay, let alone something over $100. I've barely purchased anything before, so I'm a bit hesitant.
Apologies for rambling, being confusing, and sort of whining. Anyone who is willing to give advice/their opinion, thank you. I can provide the seller's user if it helps.

I don't post often for fear of posting in the wrong spots, and if is the wrong forum I apologize. For brevities sake, I will try to get straight to the point but this will be long. To any one that makes it to the end, thank you in advance. If you want to skip to the last five paragraphs you will get the jist of what I am trying to say. I am trying to avoid getting put on probation for disciplinary actions, but they won't be clear with what I have done wrong. I am willing to reconcile at work but I don't want to leave this job without trying to take the proper steps to make things better.
​
I'm low man on the totem pole for a big company. A big one, that some might say is too big to fail. What I can say that it is in sales. My issue stems from the fact that I'm just not comfortable enough to chit chat with managers about the topics they want to talk about, which are either inappropriate, distracting me from work, or super personal. I've felt like they've wanted me gone for a minute, but I just don't fit in so I mind my business and do my job to the best of my ability.
Recently I was threatened to be put in a program to correct behaviors they don't like, but Im not officially on this probation. When I asked what the issue was they said certain team members feel I'm not approachable and or they don't like how I walk away when certain managers come over. While I believe I am operating within the rules of engagement, given that their topics make me uncomfortable and Ive chosen not to formally file any complaints, yet.
Here are a couple true examples of why I don't like to chit chat with the managers at work:
Manager 1: Likes to sneak up on you and talk about their sexual escapades they had over the weekend. I personally am not comfortable with this type of conversation at work and when they trap my in a conversation I freeze and draw blanks. I come off as cold because my appearance is intimidating, but I'm truly so uncomfortable I just freeze. When I try to probe and get to know them, the get turned off if I ask them the wrong question. I asked a manager if they watched a certain show and they got upset, said no, and ended the conversation. This same manager is high ranking, and will open a conversation talking about getting caught performing fellatio on a beach in Mexico. This was a true interaction and I wasn't interested.
Manager 2: Likes to take every opportunity to talk about themselves and their plans for vacation, but has literally cost me sales and reprimanded me for it later. This person is very touchy feely, and will subtly force you to shake their hand. I always shake for fear of retaliation but this manager will literally throw you under the bus if you treat them like they aren't a god. This manager will have me do things their way when we were trained to do it another way but the inconsistency causes friction between the rest of the team and I pay the price for that when this manager isn't around.
Manager 3: Very nice and very sweet, but they won't have my back about certain instances for fear of being on the outs with the other managers. But when we are alone, they tend agree with me. This person is new and I care for them but they allow the more tenured managers to gaslight me about any issue I bring up. I still truly care for this person, and don't want them to risk their future when I am just an associate so I just deal with it.
Manager 4: The same as manager 3, but not as nice. And we don't have the rapport for me to really go to them about my problems. They were on leave for a while and came back happy to see me, [they asked first] then gave me a hug, but before the day was over they wouldn't even look at me.
Manager 5: This manager does this weird thing where they ask you how you're doing, ask you something you're passionate about, and then they walk away... Literally just like that. I am getting reprimanded for not being open enough to conform to the culture of the company, but every time this manager asks me how my fishing is going, or if I was gaming last night, in the middle of my response they walk and it hurts every single time. They do this to everyone.
Manager 6: Replaced the manager that hired me and ultimately just won't ever let me plead my case. This manager is a nice person, but I understand this person cares more about appeasing the other managers versus actually getting to the root of the issue. Truly a nice person though, I won't take that away from them.
Manager 7: The big boss. I rarely see this person. They usually don't talk to me unless we cross paths, but for the most part they try to not even look my way. It really sucks because I feel me and this person have the most in common of all the managers. They know what's going on, but they stay out of it. I find this hard to respect none the less.
I know I'm writing a lot but I promise I am leaving a lot of relevant info out. I constantly get praise for holding myself accountable at work, the same people tell me I need to hold myself accountable when it comes to the friction between me and my coworkers. The issue is, I get along pretty well with many of them, and the others I don't chat with, we just don't chat but not for any particular reason. That's just how life works. I also took it upon myself to meet everyone, I learned about 40 names my first week out of over 100 employees and out of no where, the whole store stopped talking to me. I really don't know what I did, and it was too obvious to not feel it was orchestrated behind closed doors, but of course they will never admit to this. They try to make it seem like its the whole store, but I know the people I don't get along with; leadership just won't tell me.
In my meeting today, two managers threatened to put me on a probation of sorts and the focus would be coworker rapport. My sales metrics are trash this quarter but they told me they weren't worried about that. They told me it would last two months, and every week we would go over that week and I would be graded. They said the issues that warranted this meeting were because I walk away when I see managers coming, I have team members that aren't comfortable talking to me, and they were upset because I had an incident where a manager where I refused to shake his hand. If you read the descriptions about the managers above, I feel like most would understand.
I won't parade around like I am innocent, but I don't go out of my way to bother anyone, and I do everything they ask me to do. So I am not insubordinate. Here are the things I know I've done wrong recently, and or things I feel I could have handled better:
--I have been tardy for work maybe three times the past couple of weeks, and I've left early from feeling ill. I don't have a rep for either of these things but I've been stressed out over a recent move and am just falling into a new routine, but I am back on track.
--When I arrive, I go into the break room to clock in and I go straight to the floor. I don't mingle in the back because the managers and their buddies literally stop talking when I come around. I am so uncomfortable I just need to get out of that room. I literally have days where a person I had a good conversation with the day before won't even acknowledge me in the break room because the managers or leads are around. It kinda hurts my feelings, so to keep myself in good spirits to start my shift, I go in the back, and jump right on the sales floor. I know I could afford to play the games they play, but I'm just not built like that. I don't even feel welcomed to eat lunch in the break room. For the past 10 months I sit alone in my car on break.
--I am quiet when I am not around the coworkers I trust. Certain team members have really betrayed me, and don't know that I know that they take everything I tell them to a manager and they talk about it in the breakroom. It's so predictable that I only tell them stuff I want everyone to know. I find it serves my mental health and my ability to sell stuff better to keep conversations with these coworkers superficial and light hearted or avoid them all together but they will literally go tell on me if I don't tell them personal stuff about my life.
--I am a bit short with a particular manager, but never what I would deem disrespectful. I know I should just suck it up and play the game, but this manager makes my days hell at work, does stuff to spite me, and hurts my sales as a result of their inadequacies. They are the manager of sales, and can provide no support or advice to help me as a sales person. I honestly feel alone and lost when they are on they floor, and when I give feedback I get their response "well this is how I do it'. Manager number 2 if you didn't guess already. The other managers won't accept that I've already done everything they've asked me to do as far attempting to connect with everyone.
When I was talking to the managers today, a situation that happened a couple of days ago came up and I quickly realized the scenario was the catalyst for this awkward meeting. My boss singled me out and asked me to do something that would jeopardize my relationship with the other team members but I prepared myself to do it anyway. The following shift, I went home sick and on my way out he tried to give me a high five but I just couldn't bring myself to comply because I had had enough. I told him "no more dap, handshakes, or anything like that; especially after what you did the other night.".
I know I could have handled that differently, but that was the point they chose to take action. They brought up older scenarios that I have already mentioned but they failed to address those situations when they happened. They told me that certain people feel a way about me, but they won't say who. I am entitled to zero due process apparently. Not once did they mention my terrible sales numbers. They have plenty of ammo to use if they wanted a formal and documented meeting, but they only ever come to me when someone who I don't know has their feelings hurt.
I was writing a letter to [redacted] support because our HR isn't truly an HR and they are in the clique of spies utilized by the managers. I figured I would ask the reddit community first what they would do, because this site has really saved my life. I had two weeks of bliss at this job, then the team wouldn't even look at me. It almost brought me to tears many times, but I stuck it out and just grew closer to the people that accepted me when it wasn't cool to stand next to me. Now all of a sudden, I am at risk of being terminated because I refused to fist bump a manager, when truthfully there are other mistakes I've made that they don't even bring up. So I know they are building a case against me and it's fucked up because I gave my all to this company.
What should I do? I am definitely going to apply for new jobs, but I can't just keep running from my problems and starting over in a new place hoping for a change. I need to make a fundamental change in my behavior, or I need to swallow my pride and suck up to the bosses but they constantly move the goal post so I really can't make any progress even if I wanted to. I am fearful of retaliation if I go above the store manager because the regional manager knows what's going on. I am also afraid of retaliation if manager number 2 holds for a fist bump again and I refuse. I am not ready to leave until I hit my sales goals. I owe myself that much.
This company is slick, and if I make the wrong move they will bring up my tardies and other fireable offenses but I have really tried to be an exemplary employee thus far and my team agrees. I will be under the microscope and eventually on probation. Please help, I know quitting is the move, but I gotta change some things before that happens. I knew this was coming, because the behaviors are so predictable, but my journal has but only two entries. I am not the vengeful type, but I don't believe in bullying no matter how passive.
​
Thank you,
Your neighborhood, friendly dread head.

I’ve been taking my kids to the movies a few times a week during Summer Break. It reminds me of when my family, more specifically my father (super dead now), took me to the movies. We’d stop by the dollar store to pick out candy beforehand (peanut m&m’s were my dad’s favorite), but still get popcorn because nothing beats movie theater popcorn. And so I was struck with rose-colored nostalgia today when we shared the same treats as I had with my dad. That’s just a bit from my life right now.
I’m a stay at home parent who homeschools for now. I watch a lot of reality shows because it’s an excellent tool in staying distracted, but my favorite shows are from the 90s and/or have a strong female lead. Film wise, anything that makes me laugh or is beautiful or poignantly written. I like to read cookbooks and mysteries and memoirs. And I like to be vulnerable with people quickly because I don’t care for small talk unless it’s flirtatiously done.
Don’t I sound like someone you wanna meet?

Hello new to the sawmilling industry i guess you could say, and to reddit.
So i have a woodmizer lt70, ive recently been starting to make and sell lumber from. Usually i have only sold firewood from my property but we got a sawmill and i guess firewood customers now have been inquiiring for sawmill services. THIS SAWMILL STAYS ON THE PROPERTY and i had a customer who drove in a week or two ago and asked me to build them and provide them with lumber for a 10’ by 12’ foot shed for a lawn tractor. I went and dug 6, 5 foot holes for the foundation of the structure, ontop of that the customer had me dig 25, 5 foot holes for his garden to put a new fence in. Now they had me sign a contract the last day i worked at their house saying theyd gradually pay me once they seen more work being done.
I used my saw mill at my house and cut all their lumber spent two days doing it in totaly but that doesnt account for me fixing my saw mill for 4 days in between the two days of me cutting their lumber .
They just called me to tell me they arent proceeding with my work due to family emergency and willing to pay me 100$ for my work that i have done.
1: I dont think thats fair considering the amount of lumber and time spent cutting the lumber was 2: me going and digging the wholes those two days
But ultimately i feel im screwed over because of the contract i signed .
I was bringing the lumber their in the next day and that wouldve been my first pay from them and thats why i feel like they screwed me over and thats how theyre going to get away with not paying me
What can i say to them ideally i want them to pay me for digging the wholes and cutting all that specific lumber

I’m trying to let go of an older player (33) in the championship league who’s worth 30 mill. I keep re loading saves to see if it’s even doable. Can’t sell him. The team I started with signed him this year tho so can that have something to do with it?

When I was getting started, an actor I knew gave me some really good advice. While deciding whether or not to take a certain role, consider three factors: the money, the show, and the people. If at least two of those things are good, accept the job. If they’re paying you well and you love the play, you won’t mind putting up with shitty people. If it’s a great show with a cast full of friends, but you’re not getting paid so well, that’s still alright, it’ll be artistically fulfilling. If it’s a bad show but you love the cast and you’re making money, you’ll probably have the time of your life making fun of the playwright backstage and laughing all the way to the bank.
What my friend failed to mention is that as an aspiring actor, you don’t usually get to be that picky. When I got the call from my agent that a production of The Bacchae was urgently seeking a new chorus member, all I could see were dollar signs. My survival job had just fallen through (the family I nannied for was moving upstate, insisting that Manhattan had just gotten “too dangerous” for their toddler), and my savings were only going to cover my rent for another month.
It was raining the day of my audition, and my train got delayed. I showed up panting (I had to run from the subway station) and my hair a disaster. Luckily, in The Bacchae, the chorus is full of… well… Bacchae. Fervent followers of Dionysus, wild women, drunk and running through the countryside. In the climax of the play, they crowd the protagonist in a frenzy, literally ripping him limb from limb.
I’ll never know if it was my frenetic energy from barely making it to the theater on time, or my actual acting, but I got the part. My costume fitting was the next day– they weren’t kidding about urgently needing a replacement. Which thrilled me, because I wasn’t kidding about urgently needing the money. At the fitting, I discovered something my agent failed to mention about the production: this wasn’t just any version of The Bacchae, it was a recreation– an attempt to perform the play in the traditional Greek style. In other words, everyone was wearing masks.
I’ve never been fond of masks. We had to do a few assignments with them in my college acting courses; covering your face can enhance the physicality of your body, something like that. But I never liked wearing them, or seeing other people wearing them. It wouldn’t be fair to call it a full-on fear, but the stiffness, the lack of expression, gives me a weird feeling in my stomach. And wearing one, your field of vision limited, your mouth covered, making it harder to breathe, harder to project your voice– I don’t like it. It’s as simple as that.
But I needed the money. My costume wasn’t ugly, per se, just strange: a long white dress, or maybe toga is a better word, the fabric about the thickness of a burlap sack. My mask, stark white, paper mache, covering my entire face except my eyes, the mouth carved to imitate a grin. No shoes. My hair tucked into a wild black wig– we wore wigs, they explained to me, so the chorus could be identical, indistinguishable. We moved as one, spoke as one, and were meant to look like one. They even made sure to cast women of the same height. In our costumes, it was impossible to tell which of us was which.
It didn’t help that I was an outsider to the rest of the cast, joining the show weeks into rehearsals. Everyone seemed annoyed that they had to teach me the blocking, the inflection of the lines (so my voice didn’t stick out from the other chorus girls), and where to go backstage during scenes with no chorus. A few people tried to be nice to me, but quickly gave up when they realized I knew nothing about Greek theater, or masked theater, or the avant garde. My last show had been a regional production of Cats, for God’s sake. I was totally out of my element.
Things got especially sour when I tried to ask what had happened to the girl I was replacing. Nobody wanted to talk about it. People gasped when I brought it up. The clearest answer I got was a whispered, hesitant, “she fell,” but the person wouldn’t elaborate any further. The cast seemed superstitious, uncomfortable, like talking about her would cause them to suffer her fate: removal from the show. And it was clear that, aside from me, everyone else loved this show. The actor playing Dionysus, the couple of times he deigned to talk to me, just kept gushing about how honored he was to play this role, how electrifying it felt to put his history minor to use, to show people a piece of the world’s theatrical beginnings.
I thought the show was fine. Kinda boring, kinda scary. I don’t think I “get” The Bacchae. In brief, the story is about Dionysus, son of Zeus, disguised as a human. He and his followers (the chorus) show up in a town, but the leader of the town, Pentheus, is upset about it. He doesn’t understand why all these women are acting crazy, and he arrests Dionysus, not believing him to be an actual God. As punishment, Dionysus possesses Pentheus’s own mother with the same madness as his followers, and together, with their bare hands, they rip Pentheus apart. His mom walks back into town holding her son’s head, thinking it to be, in her madness, the head of a lion. When she realizes what she’s done, she is overwhelmed by grief, and futilely attempts to put Pentheus’s mutilated corpse back together. Dionysus returns, basically saying, “well, he said I wasn’t a God, and that’s blasphemous, so he got what was coming to him.” Pentheus’s mother is exiled.
It’s incredibly dark. In the reviews, critics called it daring, challenging, a bloody spectacle, a feminist masterpiece. I don’t really get what part of “a man who’s a God possesses women’s minds, driving them to murder” screams “feminism,” but hey, I’m the girl who commuted to New Jersey every day for four months to do Cats, what do I know?
Here’s something I do know: the other chorus girls did not like me. And they took their jobs seriously. As we waited to enter for each scene, there was dead quiet in the wings. Usually, there’s some light joking, maybe quickly running lines, maybe physical warmups, shaking out your nerves– I tried to do this once. Before our entrance at the top of the show, we all gathered in the stage right wing, all twelve of us, a perfect and identical dozen. It was a dress rehearsal. No audience. I did a few jumping jacks, trying to hype myself up. Another masked girl grabbed my bicep, hard. When I turned, she just shook her head “no.” Just a simple, silent, “no.” We don’t do that here. We stand silently in the wings, focusing on our craft, breathing, waiting for our entrance. I never tried it again.
When you can’t talk to your coworkers, acting becomes a lot less fun. The collaboration element is totally gone. And honestly, the “acting” element was gone for me, too. How am I supposed to find my character or sense of identity in a role when my role is “don’t let your voice stick out, don’t take a wrong step, blend in perfectly with eleven women who dislike you?”
So before the shows, instead of chatting, or doing jumping jacks, I wandered the theater. I’ve always loved theaters; the dramatic architecture, the ornate prosceniums, the stark contrast of backstage, so dark, so dusty. The theater was no Broadway house, but it had a fly system (which we didn’t use, because the Greeks wouldn’t have been able to fly anything in), just over three hundred seats (including a mezzanine– fancy!), and lots of backstage space. I could say more about it, because I spent hours during the run of the show wandering, but it wouldn’t be terribly interesting to anyone who’s not me. Just know, it was a beautiful old theater– and I mean OLD. Built in the 1910s, just before the Great Depression. I used to love imagining how many generations of people had performed on that stage, imagining what they’d think of this show, or what they’d think of me.
About a week into my wandering, on some fifteen-minute break, I was looking at the ladder that led up to the catwalk– a long, thin metal walkway stretching across the stage from above, usually used for hanging lights. I wondered how long it had been since it was used during a show. I wondered if it was even safe. What would the view be like from up there, seeing the entire stage from thirty feet in the air?
I slowly looked up the ladder. I wouldn’t actually climb it. That would be crazy, right? I’m not particularly good with heights. As my eyes lifted, I made eye contact– or rather, mask contact– with someone. A fellow chorus girl, up on the catwalk.
I stopped breathing for a second. What was she doing up there? I started to say something stupid, like, “Why are you up there?” when just as quickly as the face appeared, it vanished. I saw her white robed form retreat down the catwalk, heading for a different ladder, probably. It was weird. Why did she run? Embarrassed to be caught somewhere she shouldn’t be?
I allowed myself to entertain a little fantasy: maybe she was just like me. Maybe she also hated the other chorus girls, and didn’t “get” The Bacchae. Maybe she was exploring the theater for fun on our break, enjoying the old architecture, like I did. I had no idea who she was under the mask, and she had no idea who I was. She probably thought I was one of the normal judgemental girls, and ran off before I could tell on her to the stage manager.
I was filled with unfounded hope. Could I make a friend here? Was it possible? After two and a half weeks of silence from the other girls, it was hard to imagine. How would I find her? How would I let her know it was me– that I had seen her on the catwalk, and we were the same?
After that day, I got much more observant. When the director called for a break, instead of immediately retreating into the depths of backstage, I watched my eleven doppelgangers carefully, tracking who went for water, who went back to the dressing rooms, who ran off towards the vending machines. It was hard to tell everyone apart, but people had to take their masks off to drink water eventually. I memorized faces and tried to keep track of them. I started to get a handle on everyone’s patterns, narrowing down potential adventurers.
It was impossible. Eleven people is too many to observe. But I’m an actor. Memorizing shit is literally my job. By week four, just days from opening, I had three potential girls. I tried to stick close to them during rehearsals, picking one to follow each day, but nobody ever wandered towards the catwalk. Maybe the girl, whoever she was, had been scared away from adventuring when I caught her. I started to lose hope. We were opening soon– I should focus on making my entrances, not making friends.
But then I saw her again.
This time, it was half an hour before the curtain went up for our invited dress rehearsal. The press was there. I was nervous. I knew I had my part down, but when you’re doing a show, no matter how prepared you are, there’s always the lingering fear that you’ll freeze up, forget everything, and ruin everyone’s hard work. It just means that you care. I was surprised that I cared so much. I still didn’t even get the play. I couldn’t let the other girls see me weak. I barely show my real feelings to people I care about, much less mean actresses who look down on me. To get away from it all, I wandered down to another unused part of the stage: the orchestra pit. We did have music in the show, but the Greeks didn’t have orchestra pits. So it was closed off, being used as storage.
I loved it down there. I loved looking through the storage bins, finding props from long-forgotten productions– sometimes I would find something incredible, something I swore was from the day the theater opened, something old and valuable– and usually, I could never find it again. Those bins were a treasure trove. Of all the weird little spaces I found backstage, the pit was my favorite. I felt like a real explorer down there, illuminating my path with my phone flashlight, getting spooked when a mouse ran over my foot (of course the theater had mice, it was more than a hundred years old! And besides, every building has mice in New York City).
That day, I wasn’t there to look around. Just to sit. Just to catch my breath. I tiptoed down the creaky steps, and plopped myself on the ground, surrounded by bins. I inhaled and exhaled, smelling the mildew-y scent of old props on every side of me. And that’s when I heard a noise. Not a mouse noise– I was used to those. Something bigger. I turned my phone flashlight on immediately, calling, “hello?”
And the light landed on a mask, just like mine. Mine which was currently off, because I was doing my breathing exercises. I felt exposed– she could see my face, but I couldn’t see hers. I stood up. “You scared me!”
She didn’t respond. She looked at me for a second, and started to retreat the other way, towards the stairs at the other side of the pit.
“Wait!” I called. “I won’t tell anyone I saw you!”
She stopped for a second. But then she kept walking. I stood and followed. “Please stop. Can I at least know who you are? I don’t fit in with most of the chorus girls–”
I reached for her long white toga. I swear, I had it in my hand, but somehow, she slipped away. I staggered a bit, almost tripped, confused that I hadn’t made contact with her costume. And when I looked back up, I only saw a glimpse of her disappearing up the stairs. I tried to follow, again, but I found that side of the pit’s stairs reached a dead end. I didn’t understand how she’d gotten out. And when I looked back down at my phone, it was time for places. Disappointed and defeated, I rushed away to the other stairs, making my way to the stage right wing to wait for my entrance.
I counted heads immediately when I arrived. Maybe she hadn’t made it back yet. But, alas: twelve. All accounted for. I nudged a girl next to me, subtly. “Who was the last one here besides me?”
She just stared at me for a moment, which came off as very creepy through the blank dead stare of her mask. “How the fuck am I supposed to know? We all look exactly the same.”
I sighed. “Okay. Thanks.” For nothing, I thought bitterly.
The invited dress went well. The press liked it, as I’ve already said. I was distracted the entire time. After that day, I made it a habit to count all the girls when the stage manager called for “places.” If I was right about this girl, she, like me, would be one of the last, if not the last one there. She would be wandering, exploring, getting away from the bullies.
I wish I hadn’t done this. I wish I’d given up when she disappeared on a dead-end staircase. I wish I’d never seen her on the catwalk. Because when I started counting heads, I noticed something impossible. Sometimes, before we went on, I counted thirteen identical masked faces.
It was a chorus of twelve. It was supposed to be twelve. I’d recount. Recount again. Thirteen. A chill went down my spine. We all looked the same. Same masks, same togas, same wigs. Who was the imposter? How could anyone be an imposter? It didn’t make sense. How would they get into the theater? How would they get a costume?
I started counting more often. Between scenes, in the dressing rooms, even on stage during dull moments. It fluctuated. Sometimes I’d count twelve for a whole day, an entire show, and sigh in relief, feeling like some curse was broken. But the next day, at least once, I’d count thirteen.
And it seemed as if one masked pair of eyes was always trained on me. I don’t know how she knew it was me. We looked the same. But she’d stare. It felt scary, but also ridiculous– I couldn’t be sure it was the same person looking every time. I couldn’t be sure it was unlucky number thirteen. But I felt like it was.
I felt a lot of things. I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. The other girls already didn’t like me– I couldn’t have them thinking I was crazy. And admitting the presence of the thirteenth would mean admitting to my adventures into forbidden backstage areas. I couldn’t lose this job. I was living paycheck to paycheck. I wasn’t eating well, or sleeping well– maybe this was all a hallucination. And somehow, my biggest feeling was that if I told someone about the thirteenth, I’d never see her again.
And I needed to see her again. The obsession had only gotten stronger. I knew, somehow, deep inside, that she was the one I had seen on the catwalk and in the orchestra pit. I no longer wanted to be her friend– I wanted to corner her. To ask who she was, and why she was sneaking in as if she was one of us. I wanted to ask what she wanted from me.
Because she must want something from me, right? Why else would she stare? Why would she appear only to me?
The timing never lined up. The show had opened at this point, and I had a job to do: delighting the audience. I couldn’t skip my entrance to catch number thirteen. The chorus formations would look ridiculous with a missing person. And as much as the other girls hated me, I owed it to them as my costars to make them look good.
Logically, I knew there was only one person the thirteenth could be: Catalina, the actress I’d replaced. She must be jealous of me. Bitter. Maybe she wanted to take my role, like I’d taken hers. It would be insane, but it was all that made sense. She was the only other person who had the costume, who knew the keypad code to get into the theater. She must have recovered from her fall and come to find me.
It was almost like a game. It definitely made the show more interesting for me. Before I realized what was happening, I dreaded performances. I felt stupid, taking on this role in a show I didn’t even understand. But now I had so much to do. I had to plan.
I started showing up early, an hour before my call time. I walked my old spots, thinking I may see her. The other chorus girls were impressed that I was showing up early, thinking it showed some sort of dedication to the show. I think they even started to hate me less. They still detested any attempts at conversation in the wings, but in the dressing room, I started to have a few breakthroughs. In particular, I started a semi-friendship with Erin. Ironically, she had been one of the three women I thought may be the thirteenth, until I realized the thirteenth wasn’t really one of us at all.
She was the only person who I could actually ask about Catalina. “Did she ever say anything about the theater? The building, I mean? Did she have a favorite part of it?”
Erin would laugh at my seemingly random specificity. “We weren’t close, Michelle. I have no idea what she thought about the theater.”
“What did she do on her breaks?”
Erin thought for a second. “I don’t know. I never saw her at the vending machines, or the dressing room. I guess she found some quiet place to run lines.”
That confirmed it, for me. A quiet place like the catwalk. Or the orchestra pit. We were three weeks into our five week run when I came up with a plan to catch Catalina. It wasn’t a great plan, and I had no idea if it would work, but showing up an hour early every day was making me tired and producing zero results. I needed a new strategy. I realized that after seeing her in the pit, I only ever saw the thirteenth when all twelve of us were together.
So I told a white lie. One night after the show, when everyone was changing in the dressing room, I appealed to my fellow chorus girls. “Are you guys busy before the show tomorrow?” I innocently asked. “I’m feeling a little shaky on some of the entrances. If we could all get here just twenty minutes before our call time tomorrow, I’d love to run some stuff with you guys. I’ve been running it on my own, but without the entire team, I don’t always remember where I fit.”
To my surprise and intense joy, everyone agreed. They really did seem to respect me more when I looked like I was taking my role seriously. I could barely sleep that night, I was so excited to see if my plan worked. And hey, if it didn’t, I had two more weeks of shows to think up something else.
It was a Sunday night, our last show of the week. Mondays are often “dark days” in professional theater, meaning there are no shows that day to give the team a rest. I had planned this on purpose– if I failed, I had a dark day to reflect on that failure and try again.
At 5:40, twenty minutes before our call time, all the girls were assembled and in costume. We started running entrances. After ten minutes, I thought my plan had failed. We had run our first three entrances, and I never counted more than twelve heads in the wings. But around 5:55, as we got to our entrances in act two, offstage, I locked eyes with a mask. A thirteenth mask.
I quickly told everyone “I think I got it, you guys, thank you so much for coming early!” Everyone mumbled that it was no problem, that they were happy to help.
The thirteenth mask broke eye contact with me, looking around in confusion– perhaps distress. The girls started to trickle back towards the dressing room. The thirteenth turned and power-walked away. I shoved through the crowd to catch her, not calling out like I had in the past. I knew she didn’t respond to that. I knew I had to catch her now or never. Once we were out of the crowd’s eyeline, I began to run. She ran, too. “You’re not getting away this time!” I yelled, like some kind of cartoon superhero. My adrenaline was pumping, and blood rushed to my ears.
After I yelled, I suddenly became aware of another set of running feet behind me. “Michelle? Where are you going?” It was Erin’s voice.
“Don’t follow me!” I hastily called back, picking up speed. The thirteenth also picked up speed. Though she was running just as fast as I was, she showed no signs of exertion. I couldn’t hear heavy breathing, or heavy feet on the floor. It was like she was gliding. It infuriated me.
Erin didn’t let up. “Michelle, the stage manager is gonna wonder where we are!”
I ignored her. The thirteenth rounded a corner, and I realized where she was going: the catwalk. The ladder.
She ascended the rungs rapidly, like a spider. I clamored up much less gracefully. Erin’s voice had a heavy tinge of concern. “Michelle, what are you doing?! It’s not safe up there!”
“Then don’t follow me!” I yelled back, exasperated. “This is between me and her!” Despite my vocal warning, I heard Erin climbing behind me.
Once on the metal rail, I looked both ways, terrified she’d escaped me again. But her white toga was just a few feet away, retreating into darkness. I lunged at her. The entire catwalk shook. The thirteenth and I both grabbed the railing to steady ourselves. We met eyes. Or rather, we met masks.
“You have nowhere to go.” I stated.
I heard Erin reaching the top of the ladder behind me. “Michelle, come down, please. You’re scaring me.”
“I can’t. I finally have her.” I took a step towards the thirteenth. She took an equal and opposite step back. “Take the mask off.” I beckoned her. “I know it’s you, Catalina.”
I felt the rail shake slightly as Erin got on it. “What are you talking about, Michelle?!”
“She’s been sneaking in, Erin! She’s been standing in the wings with us before we enter! For weeks!” I took another step towards the thirteenth. In my peripheral vision, I could see how high we were above the stage. Thirty feet. You could die, falling from that height.
“It’s not Catalina. It can’t be. Stop this.” Erin called. Finally, frustrated, I turned towards her.
“Who else could it be?!”
Erin had taken her mask off. Her face was streaked with terror. “Catalina died, Michelle. She fell off this catwalk, directly onto her face, and she died. Please come down with me. I don’t know who you’re talking to, and I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it isn’t worth it.”
“What are you talking about? I’m talking to–”
I turned back, and she was gone. Vanished like a bad dream. “I swear to God, Erin.” I started to say. “She was right in front of me. I chased her here–”
I turned back to Erin. The thirteenth was behind her.
It made no sense. Nobody can move that fast. Nobody can be in front of me one second and behind me the next. It was inhuman. I stopped speaking. I stopped breathing. It sucks to learn that in a fight-or-flight situation, my answer is to freeze.
Erin must’ve seen how my face changed. “Michelle?” She asked quietly. “What’s wrong?”
Behind her, the thirteenth raised a hand to her mask. Her hands were impossibly pale. How had I never noticed that before? She gripped the mask in her hand. Time stretched. It must’ve only been a second, because Erin didn’t move. But it felt like years of my life passed me by as the thirteenth, inch by inch, raised her mask from her face. Or– raised her mask.
Because there was no face.
Under the mask, pale and gruesome, was a bloody flat edge. Broken, disgusting, it was impossible to make out eyes, or a nose, or a mouth. Inside a somewhat face-shaped frame of stark-white skin, all I could see was flesh, red and raw, squished in on itself. Like someone had fallen from a very high height. And landed on their face.
By the time I finally began to react, it was too late. The thirteenth– or, Catalina– or, the ghost, or– whatever the fuck that thing was. It moved its hands from the mask to Erin’s shoulders. And it pushed. And she screamed, agonizingly loud, as she flew over the side of the railing. And she screamed for the second or so she was in the air. I was screaming, too. And after the crunch of her body hitting the wooden floor of the stage, everyone else screamed, cast and crew alike.
I stared down at her limp form from thirty feet up. Her legs were twisted the wrong way. A pool of blood began to seep out of her. When I looked up again, I expected the thirteenth to be gone, but it wasn’t. With no eyes, it was also looking down at Erin. At what it had done.
And then, slowly, it turned towards me. On all fours, backwards, I scrambled away from it on the catwalk, terrified, not wanting to be next. The thirteenth’s shoulders shook rapidly, like a person laughing. But it made no sound. It never made a sound. Not going up the stairs of the orchestra pit. Not when it pushed Erin. And not as it climbed back down the ladder, rung by rung. I found myself alone on the catwalk.
Erin survived, somehow, paralyzed from the waist down. Apparently she fell on her legs, which, when you’re falling from thirty feet up, is a good thing. If she’d gone down head first, there was no chance. The show had to close, of course. When they lost Catalina a few weeks into rehearsal, she was replaceable. But with me refusing to go on, and Erin in the hospital, there was nothing to be done. I haven’t seen Erin since that day. I feel too guilty. But I was never arrested, so I guess she told the authorities that I didn’t push her. I don’t know what she told them. I don’t know what I would’ve told them, had they asked me.
I don’t do stage plays anymore. The family I used to nanny for gave me a star-studded recommendation, and now I make my living taking care of a five-year-old and a two-year-old for another filthy-rich family. I still act, but I only audition for film work.
I don’t even see plays these days. I won’t set foot in a theater. If the thirteenth had vanished off that catwalk, maybe things would be different. Maybe I could chalk it up to an extreme hallucination, some terrifying creature my mind brewed up to cope with the stress of the show and paying rent. Maybe I could even forget its bloody mess of viscera in the vague shape of a face.
But I saw it go down that ladder. Rung by fucking rung. And I know it’s still out there.
Erin was unlucky. Erin was a victim of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. And if I step inside a theater again, some way, somehow, I know the thirteenth will get me on another catwalk.
This time, I’ll be the one going over the railing.
And I’ve never once landed on my feet.