New Features

More accessible-friendly way to call bot

Some spoke up and I listened. There has been some feedback regarding how the double brackets make it difficult to read, especially for people with vision impairments. There was also feedback that the double brackets are just annoying to see in many comments. I've also seen users ninja edit their comments after posting to remove the brackets to improve readability (very clever!).
As a result, there is an additional way to call the bot within comments now. The bot now supports bolding the game name(s) throughout the comment and calling the bot with the keyword !fetch anywhere in the comment. For example:

Pandemic is a classic co-op game. !fetch

​

Robinson Crusoe2012 is a difficult single player game. !fetch

As you can see in the second example, the bolded version still fully supports year modifiers.
This can be used in conjunction with double brackets within the same comment, if you so choose. Because I wanted both to be supported in the same comment, I've also built out a way for the bot to catch exact duplicates and only respond with unique calls. For example:

Everdell is my favorite game. Have you ever played [[Everdell]]? This would cause the bot to only include one Everdell call in the reply.

One thing to note is that unlike the previous bot where a replying comment can fetch the bolded games, this bot is designed only for the commenter to call the bot. But, the easy trick for that if !fetch is forgotten in a previous post is to reply to that comment, quoting the whole thing and just adding !fetch. There was consideration into looking for all bolded words in all comments, but I made the deliberate choice to add a !fetch keyword requirement to keep the bot replies as an opt-in-only experience.

Year Range Calling

In previous versions. I added the ability to call games by YEAR, YEAR OR LATER, and YEAR OR EARLIER. Now, I have introduced a way to call a game by a YEAR RANGE! The order of the years doesn't matter either. Some examples of how this is used are:

[[Everdell2015-2019]]
Spirit Island2018-2016 !fetch

Improvements

Match Improvements

I'm sure you've noticed cases where the bot is returning an expansion (sometimes even an incredibly small expansion like a single promo card) when calling a game name. I've certainly noticed it and wanted to work to address the problem. I've been digging into the string matching algorithms more and decided to switch up the algorithms being used.
For reference, before this version, the bot used a type of Levenshtein string distance algorithm to evaluate the game name keyword. If it wasn't at least an 80% match to a game in the database, it fell back to a unique letter Levenshtein string distance algorithm and just used whatever was first in that list. In evaluating this, I found that often in the fallbacks, there were several games with 100% matches on the unique letter Levenshtein algorithm.
What I'm doing now is running both a Jaro-Winkler string distance algorithm (which I've previously had high success rates with) and a regular Levenshtein ratio string distance algorithm. Both of these will return a single match with a match confidence percentage. The bot will respond with whichever one is higher. I expect this to vastly improve the results from the bot. It will not, however, solve all the problems. My unicorn on this one was [[Caverna]]. The official game name for that is Caverna: The Cave Farmers. Even with the improvements, calling [[Caverna]] will get you closest to Caverna: Cave vs Cave. I'm sure there are other unicorns out there in the same situation. Let me know when you come across them. I'm doing everything I can to find the correct games you're intending to link.

Speed Improvements

As part of the match improvements, I switched fuzzy matching libraries from TheFuzz to RapidFuzz. This library is showing evaluation speed improvements, even with each game getting two algorithms applied to it.
I found out that BGG limits the game titles to 255 characters. Believe it or not, there are some games that hit that limit. They're just truncated at 255. The reality is that there are only a handful of games that eclipse 200 characters in the title. As a way to ensure the speed (and reduced the chance of a deliberate or accidental (eg: if a whole paragraph is bolded) attack), if a game name is called in brackets or bold + !fetch with more than 200 characters, it is ignored.
Finally, I noticed that all of the /boardgameexpansion/* URLs are canonical to the /boardgame/* equivalent. I verified that my databased, which was crawling the BGG sitemaps, was duplicating any game ID that represents an expansion. As a result, I've removed all instances of /boardgameexpansion/* URLs from the database, which will improve the matching speed.

Note From Developer

Thank you all for using the bot and providing feedback! If you notice the bot replies with wrong links, please continue to reply to the bot. I don't always see every comment, but I do my best to keep an eye on the inbox and the comments the bot makes to look for mismatched keywords and linked games. And please be nice to the bot; there is a human behind this solely as a labor of love, after all.

Official Changelog

v2.0.0
Adding support for !fetch with bold game names instead of double brackets.
Adding support for calling the bot with a year range instead of just modifiers. (Issue #13)
Game query must be 200 characters or less.
Upgrading from TheFuzz to RapidFuzz for fuzzy matching.
Fuzzy matching both with JaroWinkler and ratio then going with the winner. (Issue #14)
Drop duplicate game IDs from the database. Apparently the boardgameexpansion links are all canonical to the boardgame equivalent.
https://github.com/HgCNO2/reddit-bggfetcherbot

I have a use case where I'd like to try run a small customer in 365 without having to deploy any on prem servers, so I'll rely on Azure AD and so on. The only sticking point I have is the on site storage - they have engineering databases that multiple people might be working on at the same time and we have tried to do this with OneDrive and it just doesn't work. I'd really like to not have to buy a full 1RU server and maybe run this on a NAS or something (obviously considering user permissions and so on), has anyone had a similar use case and how did you cover it?

We all know the shoe that has perfect fit will be have the best performance since the tech will be perfectly place along the feet(i.e arch support, zoom unit, cushining etc). I seen a lot of articles and videos regarding the perfect size of the shoe that you should always add a 1-2 cm on the size of your feet then look it into your size chart (i.e if my feet measured at 26.5cm i should get a shoe at 27.5 cm). Some people also argued brannock device is the most relieable when having a shoe size (some also argued add a half/full size up from the result of the brannock). So adding a cm to feet make a a lot of sense since you want a room for your toes to wiggle.
However, do you think these shoe compamy already take that to consideration? That they already did the adding stuff for the consumers? That the consumer shouldn’t do that adding lenght to their feet since they already considered that. (Toe wiggle, feet expansion due to blood flowing from all the running, cutting and jumping). In a sense, if you are doing adding a centimeter to your foot then looking a shoe from the size chart. The technology (arch support, cushiong etc) of the shoe will be misplace along the feet
I know I may be overplicating things. Some may argue just go to a store and try fitting on them. (Well my arguement is that) the shoe may not feel comfortable at first that you have a tendency to up a size. But, what if it becomes comfortable after you break them in (maybe in 10 games/shortelonger) depending on the shoe. So is it fine to buy shoe that fits you and uncomfortable at first but becomes a perfect fit after a few games?
As far I want to buy 3 different size for one shoe and break them all in to find the perfect fit. Will that be a waste a lot of resources especially with resell markert. Hard to sell used shoes too. (And I am not that rich to be doing that).
So whats your experience or opinion on these matter? Do you use nike sizing chart? Or just add centimeter to your foot then look at the sizing chart? Or a eyeball of fingethumb from the big toe to the front end of the shoe.

Gave myself a little challenge to come up with a bit of a list of some of the common misconceptions that people have about F1, and I managed to pretty quickly come up with 50… The tone is very firmly tongue-in-cheek (and some of the falsehoods aren’t 100% false…) but hopefully there’s something in here that will make people think a bit.

• The RB19 is fast because of “anti-dive”
• Aero grip determines performance in fast corners, mechanical grip in slow corners
• Mechanical grip is significantly changed by suspension geometry
• Mechanical grip exists as a distinct thing
• Simulators are for driver training
• You can make any sensible inferences about how the aero of a modern F1 car works by eye
• Gary Anderson is an expert on modern F1 aero
• F1 journalists actually know what they’re talking about in technical matters, especially when it comes to aero
• Slow F1 Teams aren’t light years beyond every other motorsport team in terms of engineering capacity
• F1 Teams are looking to cheat, and will do so if given any opportunity at all to do so
• Golf ball dimples would help aero, somehow
• Brake friction changes stopping distance
• Performance in F1 is based on fancy special mechanisms rather than careful iterative design focussing on minuscule details
• You can tell how to make a car faster from outside the team running it
• Drivers direct the direction of the car’s development based on their personal feedback
• Teams don’t listen to drivers when developing car characteristics
• 2023 cars have more dirty air because of the floor regulation change
• Tyre performance is determined by suspension geometry
• Suspension geometry is designed to optimise mechanical handling/kinematic behaviour
• Downforce from ground effect somehow behaves differently to downforce from wings
• Dirty air and slipstream are separate effects
• Dirty air is primarily caused by turbulence in the air coming off the cars
• Drivers are experts on how the cars work
• You need to run the wind tunnel at different air speeds
• The aero of the car behaves significantly differently depending on car speed
• The rear wings on F1 cars have adjustable angles
• Inerters would have solved porpoising in 2022
• It makes s significant difference to suspension behaviour whether you use a pushrod or pullrod layout
• Red Bull’s cars are all personally designed by Adrian Newey
• Red Bull’s cars’ aero details are designed by Adrian Newey
• Everything Adrian Newey touches on any car is perfect and great
• The 200+ other engineers at Red Bull are merely conduits of Adrian Newey’s ideas
• The situation is similar but with different names at the other teams
• Every bit of unusual car behaviour (e.g. flexing) is intentional and makes the car faster
• Everyone involved in running the cars knows what they’re doing
• Everything in F1 is extremely complicated
• Everything in F1 is simple enough to explain in a quick YouTube video
• When people in F1 make mistakes it’s because they’re idiots
• When people make mistakes in F1 they’re usually immediately fired
• F1 engineers are well-paid
• The absolute best engineers in F1 work for the currently-winning team
• The engineers at smaller teams are less talented and only work there because the big team wouldn’t hire them
• You could definitely do a better job than insert team’s strategy team
• You can tell meaningful information about the aerodynamic philosophy of a given car by looking at it
• No sidepods is one of the most insane innovations I’ve ever seen in my time watching F1. It is truly groundbreaking and aero benefits will be huge, don’t need a wind tunnel to see that. With development on PU limited it’ll be hard to replicate - advantage locked in for years?
• You can get meaningful information about the aerodynamic features of a given car by doing some rough CFD with geometry made by eye. The CFD parameters don’t matter
• When the rain light flashes down the straight on the V6 hybrid cars that means that the car has run out of battery and has gone into a charging mode
• You want to be a race engineer
• The best way to get a job in F1 as an engineer is to first get a job in junior formulae
• Adrian Newey’s book is a good source for career advice; just do what he did

Hi all,
Looking to get additional input on a potential situation at our brand new home! Got the keys on Friday, started doing small things on Saturday to prep for move. We have a fenced backyard that backs up to a neighborhood lake which has maybe 7 houses surrounding it. Our yard has a door in the fence leading to the lake (almost all the facing houses do). Our immediate neighbors house does not have such a door, and we got 7 notifications from a ring camera from the neighbors and their small children going through our fenced yard to get to the lake. (Installed by the prior homeowner in what we thought was a weird place for a camera, but now understand.)
I don’t absolutely hate that they are using our yard, because the only other way for them to access is through a very steep hill, and the children are very young. However, it seems like maybe this was an issue between the prior owners, and they are the only neighbors who have yet to pop by and say hello. We were planning on getting dogs, my husband is a VERY avid gardener, and we plan to do some major decking/patio work in the near future. This makes me nervous about the amount of risk of having these tiny kids running through our yard whenever. I’m concerned with how to gently start a conversation with them without souring our relationship right off of the bat. Any ideas?

> disclaimer: these are the ramblings of someone who has not formally studied music or music theory and is just going off of the vibes that they got from listening to the character themes over and over. so uh please take these opinions like the opinions that they were meant to be
> also MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD
​
OCHETTE
Ochette, the Hunter
> I love this theme. The first time I heard the samples on the Octopath website I fell in love instantly and was convinced that Ochette was going to be my starter just because of how EPIC it sounded. When the full version came out, my feelings on it being epic did not change one bit because it captures the spirit of going on a grand mission SO WELL, and the theme itself feels like it represents Toto'haha as a whole more than just Ochette, reminding us every time of the gravity of their situation. Of course I have maybe too many problems with her actual story but damn if it doesn't do a great job at being cinematic. You can just tell the dev team had so much fun making scenes with the scale of the Legendary Beasts in mind
> also I'm not the only one who hears a slight choir in the background right.
In Pursuit of Legends
> easily one of the best pre-battle themes in the game - the high wind instruments just send chills down my spine no matter what situation Ochette is put in, and when we hear it for the last time in Ochette 3 - oh BOY does it feel incredible. Speaking of Ochette 3
The Journey for Legends Ends
> Out of all the Journey Ends remixes Ochette's version of it is undoubtedly one of my favorites - easily cracks the top 3. In my first run of OT2, I saved Ochette 3 for last, and having it be against the fight against the Darkling?? The high wind instrument sounded like WAILING and I can't get over how fitting that is given everything that the Darkling had gone through until this moment. The whole island is at stake but our attention is all on the Darkling's suffering and honestly? That whole sequence made me forget about the problems I had with Ochette's story and got me to cry a bit because holy shit
​
CASTTI
Castti, the Apothecary
> I don't have too many strong feelings about Castti's theme, but I dearly appreciate how subdued and somber it sounds. It fits Castti's journey of finding her memories so well and I just generally have no complaints.
> HER LEITMOTIF HOWEVER - the theme used in every flashback sequence incorporates it so well that I cry every goddamn time that it's used. THIS IS THE THEME THAT HER CHAPTER 3 ENDED WITH. IT'S SO SAD AND LOST THAT IT JUST AKSJAKS WHAT DID NISHIKI INJECT INTO THIS THEME???
In Pursuit of Memories
> I love For Succor from the first game. Easily one of the most cinematic-sounding pre-battle themes. In Pursuit of Memories takes everything that made For Succor amazing and TURNS IT UP TO 11 AND WOW THOSE TRUMPETS ARE SENDING CHILLS UP MY SPINE. Castti's leitmotif messes up my brain a lot it's great
The Journey for Memories Ends
> As much as I wanted Castti's rendition of this song to crack the top 3 my god the renditions that DID just made me feel way more BUT HECK IF THIS DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL A LOT OF THINGS
> Having her theme be up against Trousseau feels incredibly triumphant. Like she's being backed up by Eir's Apothecaries as she fights like Jesus they went SO HARD
​
THRONE
Throne, the Thief
> I'm probably going to get a lot of flack for this but. I especially don't have strong feelings about Throne's theme. I like it enough, I'm a sucker for strings and I think it suits her well, but I feel like it blends too much into the rest of the soundtrack. It could be the instrument choice, it could be the chords? I promise I like the strings. I also love how it played in her ending. I feel nothing but happiness for Throne when I see her endcard I love it so much
In Pursuit of Freedom
> To be completely honest I have to strain my ears to actually hear Throne's motif in the pre-battle theme but I don't have a lot to say about it - definitely blends in too much with the violins.
The Journey for Freedom Ends
> OKAY THE LOW ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFFS IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RENDITION? GOD-TIER - FOR SOME REASON I ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE AND THEY'RE REALLY GOOD BUILDUP
> As for the rest of it it's fine I guess? Like I like hearing it and battling with it but I think the first time around I was way too confused with the bombshells that Claude dropped on us for me to properly appreciate the music
​
OSVALD
Osvald, the Scholar
> At first I thought this was a pretty generic somber theme that REALLY loves its cellos, but in my second playthrough I grew to appreciate it a lot more. Without changing a single note, Osvald's theme goes from somber to triumphant over the course of his story and it's kind of insane to me?? Like it fits way too well with the bittersweet ending that he has but has so much room for hope and somehow his character theme captures that so well??? Gods bless you Osvald
In Pursuit of Revenge
> Gotta say - I don't have a lot of feelings on this either. Other than to say that it's badass and imposing as all hell
The Journey for Revenge Ends
> OKAY I HONESTLY DID NOT THINK THAT THIS THEME COULD EVER FIT A FUCKING. DRAGON BALL KAMEHAMEHADOUKEN DUEL BETWEEN HIM AND HARVEY BUT THE ELECTRIC GUITAR MELODY PROVED ME SO WRONG. THIS THEME GOT ME REALLY HYPED UP
> Honestly the fact that I was maybe rooting for Osvald too hard to just kick Harvey's ass because he hurt Elena probably helped BUT STILL AWESOME THEME
​
PARTITIO
Partitio, the Merchant
> God. The moment I heard the electric guitars I was already sold but then the SAX kicked in and it's like 'YO ALRIGHT WE'RE BALLING'
> this post really started out with me describing actual feelings. Don't worry we're still going to talk about feelings but I don't have much to say about Partitio's theme other than it's awesome and that people should play it in bars
In Pursuit of Happiness
> man this game is really giving me a great appreciation of the power of electric guitars. I see the appeal now. I especially see it in Partitio's leitmotif cuz man it really makes me want to end poverty. Unfortunately I don't have Partitio's business acumen OR his exuberance so I like. The most I can actually do is look into charity and volunteer work but this theme reminds me that that's good effort too
The Journey for Happiness Ends
> Gotta say? I don't have a lot of strong feelings about this rendition. Like I love Partitio and his story's ending to BITS but I think the fact that we're fighting a whole-ass steam-powered war train had the more staying power for me in this fight. Not that his theme was bad by any means because MAN that electric guitar solo goes bonkers
​
AGNEA
Agnea, the Dancer
> HANDS-DOWN MY FAVORITE OF ALL THE 8PATH2 CHARACTER THEMES - IT JUST SOUNDS AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT CONTEXT YOU PUT IT IN. I also love that it just ends up existing in-universe as full on diagetic noise for Agnea's encore at the end of her story? HELL I ALREADY SAID I'M A SUCKER FOR STRINGS BUT AGNEA'S THEME JUST SOUNDS SO HOMEY AND WHIMSICAL AND IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME REALLY WANT TO DANCE. AND I SUCK AT DANCING!
> Gil's piano version also just flat-out brings me to tears. God bless you Agnea motif. Why is it so good at being emotional. The evolution of this song throughout Agnea's journey just hits me on so many levels. Music and dance as a form of human expression and communication is fully on display with Agnea's story and her theme reflects that perfectly
In Pursuit of Hope
> how do I gush over Agnea's leitmotif even more without just repeating myself. it's just so good. it's so hype even if the situations themselves are relatively low-stakes. like she's just having a really intense talk with the manager of the theater and the battle theme goes HARDER THAN IT SHOULD
Song of Hope
> HONESTLY WHAT CAN I EVEN SAY ABOUT SONG OF HOPE THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID. SONG OF HOPE BEING THE FINAL FORM OF AGNEA'S THEME LIKE IT'S A SUPER SAIYAN HAVING THEIR POWER LEVELS GO OVER 9000. THE FACT THAT IN-UNIVERSE IT'S ACTUALLY HER SINGING IT. THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE SONG THAT BEATS DOLCINAEA LUCIEL. THE FACT THAT THEY'RE BOTH SINGING IT ACTUALLY IT'S SO GOOD
> man I wish sometimes that whenever Agnea uses her EX Song of Hope we got like. a little jingle of her theme and her singing the lyrics. I love Song of Hope so much it's my second-favorite Journey Ends theme. Yes I know it technically doesn't qualify but come onnnn
​
TEMENOS
Temenos, the Cleric
> okay now I'm REALLY going to get flack for this. I actually don't like Temenos's theme. There's specific reasons for this and most of them have to do with his story. It was already one of the character themes that I felt relatively neutral on when I first heard it, and my first impression was that 'mmmm okay. what's throne's theme sound like-'. The demo came out and gave us Chapter 1, and suddenly it makes sense why it sounds so funky - it represents his character from Chapter 1 so well! It tells us a lot about Temenos - that he's lackadaisical, full of doubt, and that there's more to him than meets the eye. It's true to his character as a detective who likes to mess with his assistant sometimes
> But then Stormhail happened, and it's like. The whimsical tones of his theme really didn't suit the tone of the rest of his story OR his character going forward. Crick's death has dramatically changed the feel of his story, and from that moment on it's pretty clear that Temenos is out for revenge more than he is out for truth - but his theme doesn't reflect that. In fact it feels like it's acting in defiance of the tone shift, feeling almost dismissive of the emotional plot points of his story. On a meta level I think it's interesting how it reflects Temenos's state of mind, sticking to his pursuit in order to avenge everybody he lost and keeping his emotions bottled up. Emotionally however it feels incredibly dissonant - especially when it plays over his endcard.
In Pursuit of Truth
> Honestly for how much flack I gave his character theme I have to give it to his leitmotif for being incorporated in incredibly interesting ways for his battle themes. I did NOT think that the Celestas?? Glockenspiels??? Whatever those brass instruments were - they were INTENSE
The Journey for Truth Ends
> Same words that I have for In Pursuit of Truth like oh my god I didn't think they could make his funky-sounding leitmotif sound so badass but they DID and it felt immensely satisfying to kick Kaldena's ass as the music played. Savor that satisfaction because my god the rest of his story arc does not have a lot of that
​
HIKARI
Hikari, the Warrior
> I'm partial to Eastern instruments and chord progression! Hikari's theme sounds incredibly regal and it tells us a lot about his character - he's noble, kind, and a great leader. It's a theme that's fit for a king and honestly what more can you ask for?
> also when the bridge plays with the peaceful tones of high wind instruments my heart is just. It is at ease. All is right in the world. tHEN IT'S BACK TO THE INTENSE PARTS WAHOO
In Pursuit of Kingship
> OKAY BEFORE THE GAME CAME OUT I WAS ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO LISTENED TO THE LEAKED SOUNDTRACK OVER AND OVER BECAUSE OH MY GOD HIKARI'S LEITMOTIF GOES SO HARD - I literally SCREAMED when I first heard the leaked version and honestly through the choppy audio and the chunky part of the video - you all know the one - this theme was the one that convinced me that Octopath Traveler 2 was going to be something special. I screamed out loud to several people I knew that this? Seamless transition into Critical Clash II?? It sounded like Latin Honors.
The Journey for Kingship Ends
> So, picture me on my first run, intending to finish the second game this time in reverse OCTOPATH order, meaning I started with Hikari's final chapters. Sure I switched Temenos and Throne around for the order but that was fine, I'm in Ku, and we're about to finally kick Mugen's ass because I fucking hate Mugen. The chapter begins with Kazan literally summoning a sandstorm to open the gates of Ku. I am already so hyped. Then Clan Mei arrives. I am even more hyped. THEN WE FINALLY GET TO KICK RITSU'S ASS, AND HEY OCTOPATH 2, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS A BOSS RUSH??? I get to Mugen. I beat his first phase. I fight Hikari's intrusive thoughts and win. Mugen does some eldritch shit. AND THEN THIS FUCKING THEME KICKS IN AND I WAS JUST THROWN BACKWARDS INTO MY SEAT
> IN MY OPINION THIS IS THE BEST RENDITION OF THE JOURNEY ENDS REMIXES - THE MUSICAL PROGRESSION FROM THE FIGHT AGAINST RITSU, THEN A TASTE OF FOR THE DAWN WITH MUGEN'S FIRST PHASE, THEN CONQUERING THE SHADOW, AND THEN THIS - IT WAS SO GOOD?? AND IT SOUNDS SO TRIUMPHANT LIKE - HIKARI IS ON THE CUSP OF VICTORY AND PEACE IS AT HIS FINGERTIPS. KU WILL FINALLY SEE THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY. THAT IS WHAT THIS SOUNDS LIKE AND IT'S THE MOST AMAZING THING AND I LOVE IT
​
so yeah i'd love to hear you guys' thoughts on the character themes. feel free to disagree with my opinions! I welcome it!

Just finished cleaning my planetoid with all the unnecessary notifications like "Building Entombed" or "Building Broken". Now I'm left with "Building lacks resources" and "Idle".
With the idle thing, I kinda understand that this is necessary and I can do something about it. But isn't the other one too much unnecessary? With all my runs I never really cared if my grill runs out of raw food to cook or my metal refinery with lime. Do you think this notification should be removed?
Edit: I'm also surprised that Long Commute is not showing anymore. Do you think it got removed or am I just dealing with a small planetoid?

I got my first job in tech sales and I am more burn out than when I owned a small business
I am just needing guidance. I was running a small business making pretty good money for such small experience right after college.
I was going doing it while waiting on a green card process to get a job in the USA.
I had such a great expectation of working in tech and in the USA.
I’ve always been very entrepreneurial or at least always worked by myself into find ways to have money (coming from a very small and poor country)
And now that I have access to the largest market (USA) I feel very unmotivated to work a “normal” job. I don’t have patience for office policy and honestly I believe in providing good work = good results.
In corporate (my experience) seems like results doesn’t matter if you put your time into being “cool” with the boss or managers or VP.
I am going through a bad experience or I just won’t ever be motivative in corporate?

The Order of Prince Yaroslav the Wise, fifth class, is the highest rank a Ukrainian foreign national can achieve. Its newest inductee is back home in Florida and has been in the shower so long he’s lost track of time. His feel for the present moment will return in about thirty seconds when the hot water runs out. His hair has been both shampooed and conditioned. His body throughly soaped. It’s the shower’s warm solitude he cannot leave. There is plenty to do today; an interview at a radio station at eleven, lunch with his sponsor, an early dinner at his mom’s pastor’s. All of them want to know more about his experience overseas, they want to know how the war is progressing, they want to hear how he went from Highland Hills High School to war hero. What they don’t want to hear, what David does not want to hear, is how cold his new found notoriety makes him feel. Before can explore his melancholy any further, the hot water goes. The steam rising above the shower clears as a lukewarm solution rinses the remaining soap and warmth off David’s body. He remembers taking similarly cold showers in Ukraine, and how happy he was to have them. It’s shocking how clean a man can get with a half full bucket of water and a couple of towels.
“Ah look at Abie! Clean enough for a Russian bitch.” says Bone in his thick provincial accent. Words David can’t remember Bone actually saying or they only sound like something he would say. Sitting around waiting for mechanics, waiting on orders, waiting on food, waiting on the Russians to start shooting, David didn’t know war could be so boring. The only thing Bone said he liked more than killing Russians was fucking them. The rest of the guys in the platoon knew Bone was probably lying, but he was their instructor, and they were the international volunteers, so he was never questioned. He was the only person in their platoon who spoke Russian and Ukrainian and English. One guy, this kid from Belgium, called Bone a cunt after failing to pull the pen on a grenade during a training exercise, and Bone gave it to him.
“What is this? You do not have to pull pens in Belgium? Or do you like to give your enemies the grenade so they can throw it back?” said Bone. He then effeminately ran around the kid saying, “Here Mr. German. Take my grenade. They are loud and I am afraid.” Bone comes back to his real voice. “Killing Russians is no different than driving a truck. It is your job. Don’t think. Don’t be like this Belgian. Pull the pin. Kill Russians.” The Belgian kid said something to Bone but no one knew what it was because no one spoke French. This didn’t stop Bone from hitting him in the face so hard it broke his nose. The kid quit later that day, and Bone got written up which David told him is like a kid being put in timeout during a house invasion.
“What is this time out?” Bone asked.
The water is cold so David gets out. In the kitchen his mother goes over the day’s itinerary again, just to be thorough she adds.
“Do you know where you are going David? No, sorry. Do you know where you are going Abie?” she asks as David grabs a breakfast banana.
“Yes ma’am.”
“You know parking can be difficult downtown. Be sure to take quarters for the meter.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“And be sure to be yourself. I hope they are nice to you. You know how the media likes to spin things these days. I don’t think they are too liberal but don’t let them put words in your mouth. If they ask you something you don’t want to answer, you just say ‘No comment'. You just tell your story. You are a hero. And then you’ll meet with Fred, and then dinner at Pastor's. Be there at four. If it’s ok with you I’m going to bring the medal. Pastor will want to see it. He’s a big fan of Zelensky.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Ok. Enough doting. That’s all you’re getting out to me today. Are you excited? Isn’t this exciting? News Radio 950 is doing a story about you. They want to hear about their local war hero…and that’s you. Give me a hug and get going before you are late.”
“Yes ma’am.”
In his car, David listens to Domination by Pantera at full volume. The heavy riffs, screaming and terrifying drums raise his spirit. Bone used to play it all the time. David hasn’t prepared anything for save his memory of his time in Ukraine. Perhaps Bone is giving an interview somewhere? You didn’t do anything wrong, he tells himself as he opens the station’s door. Inside he finds an attractive, young woman named Sara who has been emailing him for the past several weeks.
“Nice to officially meet. Right this way.”
David does his best not to stare at her as she leads him through corridor of offices and hallways.
“She looks nice. Go into an office with her.” says Bone.
“We’ve all been looking forward to having a more in-depth conversation with you. Our programming producer, who is also named David, will be asking you most of the questions. But I begged him to let me ask some too, so you might say I will also be interviewing you. I hope that’s ok?”
Sara’s blonde hair folds into a neat part on the left side of her head. David pictures her styling it in her bathroom, in a bathrobe. It’s been a while since he has smelled perfume. He found a bottle in an abandoned apartment in Zaporizhzhia and kept it. It had some Chinese lettering he couldn’t read, but it smelt nice. Some of the guys teased him when they found it saying he was going to attract Russian because he smelt like an Asian. Sara’s perfume smells expensive and French. She introduces him to David the producer and the three of them find three seats on the end of a conference room table. Sara sits on the same side as David. After introductions, David starts the interview by saying even though he is not sure exactly when the piece will air, he is certain it will before the end of the month. He then adds something about how David is a hero for doing what he did.
“So tell us how you found yourself in Ukraine?”
“Well it was pretty easy really. I went online and volunteered for the IVB, that was the name of my unit, the International Volunteer Brigade. I don’t think I talked to a real person until I booked my flight to Poland. It was mostly just forms I was filling out online. So yeah it was pretty easy. So I landed in Krakow and my recruiter picked me up. I stayed in a hotel for a few days while we waited on a couple more guys to show up. One was from Spain, another from Portugal. The Portuguese guy never showed, or if he did he didn’t come with us. I guess he could have volunteered with another outfit. I guess that’s the thing about the war I didn’t really expect. We were always just kinda losing people. And I don’t mean they were killed, although a lot of them were. I mean guys would just be with you one minute and gone the next. And then you’d find them a week later and I go, ‘Where have you been?’ ‘Oh I’ve been in Dnipro’ or ‘Oh I got picked up by the Regs.’ It was crazy. The only place where that didn’t happen was the front.”
“Who do you mean by ‘the Regs?’” asks David.
“The regular army. The Ukrainians. The good guys we were there to help. Sometimes they would be short a man so they’d just nab one of the volunteers. That was a bad gig. The Ukrainians wanted their most motivated guys fighting in the worst places. I only had to do it a couple of times, but…it was not something I did and wanted to do again. ”
David rubs his hand over his arm. He can’t smell the hot blonde anymore, only trench dirt and gun oil. The soil of Donetsk had a deep brown color to it he always enjoyed. Even with snipers supposedly in the area, digging was one of his favorite jobs. The earth smelled vibrant, full of worms and nitrogen and reminded him of his granddad, coming in from a day of field work, his jeans and boots caked in a rich layer of his land.
“So tell us what is it like being a hometown celebrity?” asks Sara. “You’re from here so people already know you, but what’s it like now? I mean now, gosh, everyone i know has been talking about this kid from Highland who won a medal from Zelensky. Did you get to bring it by the way? You were on the national news. It was NBC, but still…”
A bouquet of scents and questions. David looks across the room and sees Bone sitting with a heavy slouch in a chair at the other end of the conference table. He looks rough; still alive but not by much. He sits holding his side, his chin on his chest.
“It’s neat I guess. I walk down the street and people call my name. I take lots of pictures with people. Everyone is really nice. I felt like I was kinda a wallflower before.It’s something I think lots of people think about experiencing. I know I did, I just never thought it would be for this.”
“What did you want to be when you were a boy?” asks Sara.
“I don’t know. The normal stuff; doctor, fireman, my Dad was in sales, so not that. I think about it a lot. I think mostly I just wanted to be good. I didn’t like getting into trouble.”
“Oh my gosh, I was the exact same.” says Sara. Then durning her boss she adds “David, I don’t know if you knew this about me and this David, but we actually went to Highland High at the same time. I was a senior when you would have been a freshman, but I swear I remember you. I thought you were cute.”
“Don’t be trying to steal my assistant Dave. Can I call you Dave?”
“David’s fine.”
Bone perks up and tells them to call him Abie
“Ok so let’s get back on track. You’re over there, you’re fighting Russians, you’re helping the Ukrainians, can you tell us, what was that like?”
“What is war like?”
“Yeah the war, but you’re doing a good thing. You volunteered to help an oppressed people, to fight against tyranny, something I think our listeners think our government should have done a long time ago. But while our President sits on his ass, you bravely go do the thing that needs be done. God it must have been exhilarating, but I don’t know, I don’t want to put words in your mouth.”
Bone lays his head back on the desk and says something David can’t quite make out but thinks he knows what his commander is saying.
“Meta.”
“What?” asks David.
“It’s a Ukrainian word I learned while over there. It means purpose, but more than just doing a job, it’s your calling. It’s a word the priests with the beards use a lot. Everyday I knew exactly what was expected of me and what I could expect from everyone around me. I had clarity for the first time in my life. I felt like I could see for miles in every direction, like sitting on the roof watching all the cars going by.”
Bone stands up out of his chair and walks out of the office.
“Even when I was scared I knew that was to be expected. And when I was tired, I knew that too was to be expected. And when I was hungry, and wet, and cold, and angry enough to kill. I knew that too was to be expected because war is a cauldron. Everything gets boiled into a singularity. It’s terrifying but also pretty damn motivating. What sucks is that I can already feel everything starting to get cloudy again.”
Leaning his belly against the table, David leans in to ask his next question as if he does not want to be heard.
“Did you, you know…and this will be off the record…did you kill anyone else?”
Sara places her empty hand on the table, an offering for David to hold should his answer prove too much. But David knows the answer is not too much for his has thought of little else.
“Nope. Just the one.”
After another few minutes of hearing how brave he has been, how proud his family must be and how grateful the station is to have him come in, the interview is over. The producer shakes David’s hand and Sara walks him out. She mentions that friends of her’s are going to a new bar in the Depot and suggests David should come too. He says he can come but it will be late because he has dinner plans. “That’s ok. I’ll be there pretty late.”
—————————
Only a few blocks from the radio station, David pulls into a Waffle House parking lot. There is condensation on the windows of the building and cigarette butts near the door. Nothing here breathes well, David notes. Inside he finds his old sponsor sitting at booth by himself. David sees Fred before Fred sees him and for a moment considers leaving. However, he sees Bone sits in the corner of the restaurant, smiling and looking to flirt with a chubby waitress with grown sons.
“How the hell are you Abie?” says Fred. No turning back now.
“Sober for today.”
“Me too.”
The pair order eggs, toast and bacon. The cook makes each of them a waffle on the house after recognizing David. He finishes his plate before Fred can finish a piece of toast. Meals happen quick on the battlefield and David can’t seem to slow himself down long to enjoy his food. Bone is no longer in the corner. David sees him moving around the room; following an old lady into the restroom. He comes out with a grotesque look on his face. “That little woman took the biggest shit I’ve ever seen! Abie, come and look at it. It won’t flush. Call in a drone strike. We are going to have to pull back!”
“So” says Fred, “Mr. War Hero, how are you really? You’ve got recognition, a war recommendation, you’re doing interviews, you still got your sobriety. Life seems to be going well, but…”
“How I am really?” When he was in NA Fred could always sniff out if he was high. As his sponsor that was his job, but David never liked it. I know you say you’re fine, but how are your really. Effective, but crude. Fred taps his finger to the tip of his nose. Bingo kid. David looks around the room for Bone but doesn’t find him.
“I’m good man. Things are going well. Everyone always asks me how I’m doing, but I’m really fine. I honestly don’t feel much different than when I left. Same shit different day you know? Girls come up to me now, so that’s different I guess. So…yeah…things are good. Still sober. No real temptation to go back down that road. Been working the Steps since I got back. Doing the work. I didn’t even think about getting high when I was over there. I’m serious. Not once. I’ve got a therapist that I’m seeing. She’s really smart. And I get to see her for free. It’s part of some rehabilitation program from the federal government. I’m moving out of my Mom’s soon. I found an apartment through the church she goes to. There is a guy there who owns a bunch of places and he hooked me up with a really nice place for really cheap. He gave us a really good deal on it. The same guy said I could come work for him too when I felt I was ready. He has a real estate business and said he is always looking for new realtors. With my story, he told me, he thinks I could to really well.”
Bone sits in the booth next to Fred. His face his clean, empty. Without blinking, moving or saying anything he stares at David; human mirror he is unsure is alive or dead, in a Waffle House in Florida or an expensive dirty tank in Ukraine.
“But then I think, do I really wanna use my story to sell real estate? Some douchebag buys an apartment I’m selling him because I killed a Russian general. That’s not why I went over there. And who would even ask me to that? They don’t know what it was like. They make it seem like going over there was no big deal, that killing generals is something that happens all the time, or that the war is going well. Really man, I got so lucky with that shot. I’ve had trained snipers tell me they probably couldn’t hit a target at that range. But I did. I did that and I know I could never do it again. Even if I could, I don’t know if I’d want to. I didn’t know that guy. I mean I now know a bunch of stuff about him, but it’s only what I’ve been told. They told me that he supported Putin from the beginning and that a lot of the war planning was his idea. Ok. If you say so Bone. But I looked this guy up, he has a wikipedia page, and a wife, and kids, probably grandkids. I don’t know if his family is proud of him or not, but I know they will never see him again. And then just the charade of it all. So I got to meet the Ukrainian War Minister, Zelensky’s right hand man. Still not worth it. There’s just nothing noble or romantic about it. It’s all just a cold, black hole that runs on death and killing and for some reason you have to look at it…at least I do. I suppose I thought at some point I would see something. Never did though.”
Bone breaks his stare and cracks a smile.
“And for who, for what Fred? What is going to happen when all of this is over other than the same thing that happens after every war. A cabal of erudite assholes are going to meet in an overly secure room in the Netherlands and draw a new line in between Ukraine and Russia which is exactly what those same assholes did seventy years ago, and seventy years before that, and in seventy years we’ll do the same thing all over again. Wash, rinse and repeat. That line makes about as much sense as the first day of Spring. Sure, there is an official first day of Spring, March 20th or whatever, but we all know that there was some really warm days before the 20th and there is going to be some real cold days afterwards. But the 20th is the official day. It doesn’t make Spring happen. It just kinda helps sense out of a blurry situation. It wasn’t two days after getting there I realized the whole thing is so complicated. Half the regs were guys who had either lived in Russia at some point, gone to school there mostly, or had family living there. It felt like trying to break up a fight at a family reunion, only everyone is holding ARs as they argue about whether or not the 20th is the first day of Spring. The conflict goes back so far you can’t make out the start. And the profiteering my god, that’s what really gets me. Just like that asshole who wants to use the war to sell real estate, all the arms manufacturers who are pouring guns and bullets and tanks into Ukraine, propping this war machine so they can win another government contract. It’s sick. The people running those companies have the first available seat in hell. And Putin too. He started this whole mess. First him, then a nice row of CEOs and shareholders, that’s who I want to in hell. And there is never talk of any alternative. None. Not even a whisper. Just two sides trying to exhaust the other for a better seat at the bargaining table.”
Bone gets up to leave, but not before stretching his back, revealing a large, dark red stain in his uniform, just above his waist line.
“So here I am in all my hometown glory.” says David, “The renown Prince of the Order of the Ukrainian Shit-Show.”
There is a wet spot on David’s pants which he is not sure how it got there. He looks at Bone who is already out the door and running down the street. It’s ok, David thinks to himself, I know where he is going. ———————————————— At the 7-11 next to Waffle House David buys two tall boys and two shots of Jack. He pours the whiskey into the cans and kills the second one as he pulls into Pastor’s driveway where several Mercedes, Teslas and BMWs are parked. David clears his throat, spits into the bushes and unwraps a stick of gum. He enters the house after two hard knocks.
“Oh I think that is him.” David hears his mom say after shutting the large, dark front door. She comes around the corner of the corridor to tell him he is late and to take his shoes off.
“But my socks don’t match.”
“Well take those off too! Pastor just put down new carpet.”
“Ah well, since there is new carpet involved. Let’s not walk on the new carpet.”
The rest of the dinner party comes around the corridor in their socks. Each of them personally thanks David for coming and for his service. The men shake his hand. The women all give him hugs. By the end of introductions David has met two bankers, two retirees, and handful of housewives, as well as two more pastors and their wives. Bone is the last to shake his hand. He tells Abie he smells like old lady perfume. Elenor, Pastor’s wife, takes David’s arm, sliding her’s underneath his, leading him into their recently renovated kitchen. The rest of the group follows.
“Well dinner is almost ready. As we wait, why don’t you tell us about Ukraine.”
“Leave him alone Ellie,” says Pastor, “maybe he’s tired of talking about it.”
“I don’t mind.” says Abie. “I don’t mind telling people about blowing some Russian guy’s head off.”
“David Absalom!”
“It’s ok Mom. Yeah so I saw this column of tanks approaching our trench, which ran parallel to this road running west outta Horlivka. I don’t think they knew it was there, or if they did know, they sure as shit didn’t know we were in it, which was weird because we’d been trading fire with them all day. We were all scared shitless. It was only me and Jizzy and Bone. Right Bone? Oh yeah, it wasn’t Jizz it was that kid from Croatia. The one who fucking just ran off one day. I don’t remember his name. Anyways, Bone tells us to all be real still, play like we are dead. So this entire tank column passes by us. Takes for fucking ever. Couldn’t have been more than an hour, but it felt like ten. Finally it starts to let up you know, the last tank passes. So Bone takes the radio and tries to find a spot to call it in. As he is doing that I see the last tank, which was what Bone, about four hundred yards from us? Anyway, he comes to a stop, and out pops the unluckiest son of bitch in the whole war. The General gets out to take a piss, I take aim, figuring I’ll just scare him. And yeah. Bam. Headshot. He didn’t feel a thing; killed him with his dick in his hand. Speaking of which…if you will excuse me.”
“The bathroom is back down the hallway, first door on your left.” says Pastor.
“Is it a full bath?” ask Abie.
“Three-quarter.”
“Close enough.”
No one looks him in the eye, no one except Bone and Pastor. The bathroom has been redone in the same tile as the kitchen. David takes off his clothes, turns the steel knob in the shower to red, sits one floor and waits for the water to get warm.

Hello all! I know yall arent doctors, but my pain is keeping me awake (again) and Im ready to explore the potential psychological explinations and figured I might throw a line and see if anyone else deals with similar symptoms. Sorry its a bit (super duper) long! I wanted to be as specific as possible.
It started about a year and a half ago, when I would go to bed and would be almost asleep when suddenly my heart would start to race. Then I started to wake up at night with my heart racing. After some googling I decided to stop eating sugar before bed, because my sweet tooth for dessert might be causing it. This went on for a few months.
Then I started having small occasional sharp little pains in my chest and sometimes Id feel out of breath for no reason. Odd. Then a few months later I went on a trip and felt like I was struggling to breath, like a fish out of water, and my chest felt tight. I went to urgent care and they said my vitals are fine and no assistance was needed.
These occasional sharp pains and lack of breath continued through summer and were annoying but I didnt really have the time, money, or energy to see the doctor about it. Then last December, I ended up in the emergency room thinking I had a heart attack- I was lying in bed talking about my day when BAM. It felt like my heart hiccuped three times, followed by a needle sensation going up my neck and head, and immediate need to use the bathroom. I was shaking hard and walking was difficult. My gf drove me to the hospital and after a 10hr wait I was inforned that I was perfectly fine and whatever it was, wasnt a heart attack.
From then on, my chest pain increased drastically. I recorded it for a couple of weeks and couldnt find any pattern to it- sometimes it would feel like a chest palpitation, a sharp stabbing pain, a dull throbbing pain, tightness, lack of breath, a combination of them- it could be left chest, right chest, center chest, sometimes in my arms. Time of day seemed to have little affect, though it happened the least in the mornings.
Doctor gave me a referral to a cardiologist, a pulmonologist, and mental health counceling. Cardiologist had me on a heart monitor and saw nothing wrong, so I checked heart off the list. Pulmonologist I procrastinated on and they book too far out (closest app is like 3 months from now). Insurance denied councelling, but I expected that.
For a while the pain faded and went back to being just occasional. Now its evolved into something I consiter worse. Instead of occasional sharp pains, its now a constant, neverending tightness in my chest, like Im being constricted. I feel like I cant breath. Fish out of water. But ask my partner and she'll say Im breathing normally. The only time I dont notice it is when Im very focused on something (usually working on a project that demands my full attention).
Sleeping is hard- any position is terrible, but on my belly helps a tiny bit, and if I put on headphones and listen to music it might distract me long enough to doze off. But if I try to take off the headphones, or if my gf shifts in bed, or I get an itch or literally anything happens, Im awake and its like my chest is running a marathon or seizing while the rest of my body is entirely relaxed. Worst part is, I started checking my pulse when I wake up like that, and only half the time is my heart beating quick. How can I feel like my chest is racing when my pulse feels normal? The tightness is in my throat now too, thats new in the last few days.
A few people have told me it might be stress-induced. My gf gets undiagnosed chest pain that was real bad in college and occasionally still acts up. I get anxiety sometimes (but I dont have an anxiety disorder) and Ive had depressive patches (not chronic), which doesnt help in my confusion as to whether or not its a physical or mental problem.
Its worth acknowledging for the mental health side of things, its been a really rough year and a half. I started optimistically, ready to level up and work a career job and upgrade from a studio.
To put it in its most summarized form without going into a million paragraphs of detail, heres my stress timeline:
-Moved into a larger place with friends, turns out everyone has chronic depression/anxiety and lots of pressure is on me to baby their brains and do most of the cleaning. Everyones miserable no matter what I do anyways. This is roughly when the occasional pains started.
-One of my coworkers passed away. We were all as close as coworkers could be, and I think they thought I was heartless for not attending memorial stuff, but I am not good with death.
-Put myself out there career-wise, ended up losing 2 jobs before spring. Lots of debt accrued. This is when I went on the trip and ended up in urgent care.
-Parents announced theyre selling the family home I grew up in and my dad built himself. I leave my gf, whose my pillar of love and support, to assist with the process and work a couple decent jobs while Im there. Somehow its not enough and debt slowly creeps ever upwards. I am cut off from my gfs physical support. Stripping down my home was hard.
-Lost one of the two jobs. This is a new record for me.
-I had to put my cat down. She was 19 and I had her since she was less then a year old. Im not good with death.
-Quit job to fly back home. My family house is now gone forever. Im coming home with more debt then I left with, the opposite of my goal. Pains started to get more common.
-Get new job (#5 in less then a year). Pay wouldve been decent if I didnt have credit card bills to pay. Struggle to afford gas and groceries. Debt creeps further upward. Love my new coworkers, but lots of drama there as well.
-Emergency room incident happens. Find out my job doesnt give a rats ass about me as a human being. I am repremanded for not coming into work. "We dont accept doctors notes for same day call-outs."
-Chest pain gets significantly worse. I am still feeling the pressure of caring for my household's horrible mental states. I do most of the cleaning. I work constantly but am still further in debt. I feel like a child, useless. Nothing I do helps. One of my past employers still has not given me my W2, so my taxes still arent done, a huge source of anxiety for me
-One roommate leaves. We now have to pay more to cover the lost portion of rent. Have to ask my parents for financial aide. Significant hit to my pride and mental health. This is when the chest tightness starts to dominate and I started finding it impossible to relax.
And that about sums it up! I didnt mean for this to turn be so long, so I guess TLDR; my chest makes me feel like Im gonna die for no obvious reason, is this a known issue caused by stress? What are y'alls experiences with mental health affecting your physical health? What kind of things have you done to relieve pent-up stress that doesnt want to leave your body?
Thx for your time! Signed, a very tired redditor in pain who has work in the morning.

First Previous [Next]()
Two days later Nathan Sophie and Jim were standing on the bridge, all three had chosen their outfits properly. Sophie and Nathan were dressed as opulently as possible, Nathan in his armoured empire battle suit shining white and gold, his helmet tucked under one arm and a rusty Kettle held in the nook of his other. His hand white knuckle gripping the thing from inside his suit.
Sophie was dressed in her own imperial regalia, a large ornate headdress was bedazzled with jewels, her face was painted white with silver and sapphire paint across her cheeks, a single line of gold going down her black lips. She’d chosen a jade dress embroidered in silver which billowed with smoke around her feet.
Jim was dressed the same way he was the day Nathan found the kettle, ripped and worn clothing that bore the weight of years hung off him but his hair was neatly trimmed and freshly combed, a few days of beard growth was evident on his face and his eyes were tired, red around the edges and he had bags underneath them.
They all stood in a triangle alone on the bridge in silence, the soldiers all standing guard at each end giving them distance, they had already said their goodbyes. And Nathan had spent all of the previous day reading and re-reading the wish he was going to make.
Sophie reached out and gently took Nathan's helmet from him and nodded at him. He took a shaky breath and began.
“I Lord Nathan…” he starts but fails to complete the sentence as a lump forms in his throat.
He takes another breath and starts again. “I. Lord Nnnn” athan wish that my friend and Djinn, Jim, be reborn. Come on and say it! He screams in his head but the lump is there like an anchor on his tongue preventing the words from forming.
Jim looks at him and smiles. “Its alright kid.”
“No it's not.” Nathan complains. “I'm losing you and I accept that Jim, and it makes sense that it's here but.”
“But what?”
“The guy who comes afterwards…what’ll he think when he’s born on the wrong planet.”
The two Djinn look at Nathan for a few seconds and then Jim nods. “Yea. I suppose you’re right, it's not about me anymore it's about him.” he says, taking a look around before sighing. “Well it was good to spend some time here anyway. What are we going to do with the rest of the day then?”
“I have an idea…my lord ” one of the soldiers says moving closer.
“Go ahead,” Nathan replies as the man stops a few feet away from the group.
“Back to the ship. Fly it over Buckingham and let the world know who you are.” the soldier says.
Jim looks at the man and then to Nathan. “You were going to do something similar anyway. Did you figure out a nonlethal method yet?”
“Yea, one of the lads borrowed a SA80, fired a mag at one of us a few fields over. Didn't drain the shield so a dozen of us will be a lot harder to stop…that's provided the royal guard shoot on sight. If we drop from a big ass plane hovering over and ask to meet the queen we’ll probably get a meeting.” the soldier says.
“Did you run this by Cave?”
“Not yet Sir.”
“Get on it. Have the others pack up, leave anything we don't need for the security team. We’re heading back to the ship.” Nathan orders.
Four hours later the sun is at its peak as the Hello Kitty’s Revenge drifted as slowly as it could down across London. Attack helicopters flanked it, guns pointed as jets flew overhead, on the ships speaker as quiet as they could make it and still hear the voices of several pilots were demanding the ship alter course, Fly higher, surrender or be destroyed. As if the first or second volley of missiles had done anything to them so far. They hadn't shot at them since the ship entered London's airspace but that might change. As Trafalgar square drifted out of view, hidden by the belly of his ship.
“Lower the landing gear and stop us just over the gates. Keep her about 30 metres in the air at least.” Nathan tells Jim who was in the pilots chair, before marching out of the cockpit accompanied by Sophie, Cave and the 10 soldiers all wearing their full suits, sabres at the ready, guns on their backs. The plan was to go in, let their shields take the brunt of anything coming their way and cut through anything put in the way.
He walked with his helmet under one arm to the forward landing strut and stood at the end as it juddered down an inch before lowering smoothly revealing a crowd of civilians, a number of armed police outside the gate and a small squad of royal guards gathering inside the courtyard. Sophie waited at the top of the stairs whilst his own soldiers formed two lines behind him. One of the helicopters, a gunship, bravely flew in front of the ship and he stared at the pilot for a few seconds before looking away. The gunship pilot seemed to take the hint because it slid backwards before rising up and flying away leaving them a clear path to the palace.
He watched for over a minute as Jim carefully piloted his cruiser until it was hovering nose first over the courtyard.
“Everyone ready?” he asked not looking behind him.
“Yes sir! We drop on go, you drop after us.” Cave replied. He put his helmet on and heard Cave through the helmet speaker count down from 3.
On ‘go’ the soldiers all step off to the left and right, plummeting briefly before using their suits' flight packs to drop slowly and in formation. Nathan waits for them to land and form a wedge before stepping forwards and plummeting himself. Instead of controlling his fall from the get go however Nathan waits until he’s about a second from becoming paste before full powering his flight system, jets of flame coming from his back and feet whilst tiny bursts of gas come from the front of his suit keeping him stable as he slams into the ground right in the middle of his guards.
“Surrender! Drop the weapon or be fired upon!” one of the royal guard shouts. As he and the rest of his squad take aim at Nathan's group.
In response Cave, who was at the tip of the wedge formation, steps forwards. “Lord Nathan has a meeting with the queen,” he announces.
There's silence for a few seconds. “Drop your weapons final warning!” the Guard shouts again.
“No.” Cave replies. “Let us pass or start shooting.”
The guard hesitates, apparently listening to someone before closing one eye and shooting a single round at Cave. The bullet sparks against his shield before the rest of his squad open fire, shooting single rounds into Cave and the soldiers who stand there blades ready.
When the magazines run empty the royal guards start falling back and reloading. “Advance.” Cave orders and as one his squad move forwards swords at the ready. Nathan follows after them, remaining inside the formation as they walk towards the main entrance of the palace.
Nearly twenty seconds later we’re close to the main door of the palace when shouts of “Hold fire!” ring out and the Royal guard to their credit immediately stop firing, which was lucky since some of the shield readouts on Nathan's HUD were running very low. Cave’s in particular was in the red, not that losing his shield would even slow the man down at this point.
The Guard wait as a man comes out in an odd uniform and speaks to them. “We are to escort you to her majesty.” the Guard captain shouts, the gunfire probably deafened him slightly.
Cave nods and once the door is hastily opened by the guard we head inside. “Sheathe blades” Nathan orders quietly and everyone's silver blades vanish.
The royal guard stands back and their leader moves into the palace entry hall followed by Nathan and his men. Once inside the guard turns around. “I need to know. Are you here to harm the royal family.”
“No, there are simply matters that need discussing with the Monarchy.” Cave replies using his suits' speakers.
The guard captain seems to accept this because he leads the way up the staircase past groups of armed guards. There are no house staff visible as we’re led through the public spaces and into the private areas of the Royal palace.
We pass through several hastily vacated offices until we come to a pair of wide open doors with a quartet of guards outside. One of them steps forwards. “Your guards wait outside.” he says.
Nathan thinks about forcing his way inside for a moment but then nods. “Cave with me.” he says, walking into the study.
Inside sitting at a squat, ornate, tea table on an old richly embroidered two person sofa is the queen, sipping at a porcelain teacup. Standing behind her to her left and right are prince Charles and prince William.
Nathan takes two steps inside before reaching up and taking off his helmet and then moving to sit at the sofa opposite the queen. Cave taking up positing behind him to his left.
The queen sips her tea one last time before setting her cup down “So you’re the little shit that stole my favourite tea pot.” she says startling Nathan.
“Suddenly a lot of things make sense,” he notes.
“Suddenly things make sense. Great, we have a genius. Let me guess your first wish was for something fucking stupid. What was it, a million pounds?”
Nathan doesn't reply for a moment. Considering his responses. He could tell the truth but why play her game. “Does it matter?” he asks.
“I Suppose it doesn't. Fuck sake. Well are going to tell me how the fuck you did it?”
“I wished very specifically that all the Djinn Phylacteries be relocated to my home.” Nathan replies. “On the advice of a friend.”
“A friend…they’re not friends, they’re tools…I did feel for the one those Japanese had, poor thing.”
“You mean Dorei?” Nathan asks.
“Slave yes. That cunt of a woman treated her most valuable asset like a trash tool only fit to mop floors.”
“We at least had ours as a butler.” Prince Charles says offhandedly
“Shut the fuck up Charles did I say you can talk?” “No Mommy.” he replies, bowing his head.
“Then shut the fuck up. Useless child, at least Harry had the balls to leave the family…now back to the subject at hand. What the fuck do you want?” the Queen says reaching for her tea. “And someone pour him some tea, we’re royalty not common businessmen.”
A soldier moves towards the table and pours Nathan a cup of tea.
“Official acknowledgement as an independent state by your self, your government and endorsement going forwards to facilitate the transfer of individuals from being members of earthbound states to citizens of my own state.”
“And what state would that be. The state of chaos?”
“Give it a few years and it will be the start of a stellar empire, for now, I have a small city on a planet some 3000 lightyears distant. It's a terrain like world, roughly 60% water covered. Completely untapped for resources…but when you’re skimming stars for fuel and cracking asteroids for metal. Mining iron from a planets crust seems a little redundant.”
“And what do I get out of this?”
“I don't fuck off and leave, permanently. I have no reason to stay on earth. No family to care for, no friends worth a damn that I haven't already gathered. I already have an alliance with an interstellar conglomerate of species. You want the scraps of that. You do what I ask, and in 10 years, there might be humans out there in the asteroid belt mining for resources. People farming on Europa, fishing under titan. I leave, that leap vanishes.” Nathan replies somehow finding the queen's crass nature easier to navigate than some shrewd negotiator.
“How sure are you that achieving long range space travel is possible in 10 years?” Prince Phillip asks.
“I could drop off a ship for you to study and you could have a working prototype inside a year probably.” Nathan admits.
“And you’re asking for us to recognise you as a nation separate from our selves, and to allow immigration.”
“Yes. 8 billion people on the planet. Why not let a few million go somewhere else and start up a new life? Get unemployment down at least.” Nathan notes.
Prince William nods and Prince Charles opens his mouth to say something before looking at the Queen and bowing his head again.
“Fuck it, why not.” the queen says finally.
“Good, we’re going to need a method of communication, shall I just use your email?” Nathan asks.
“You really are an ignorant little shit. But considering the distances involved. Digital communication is favourable.” the queen says waving to one of the soldiers who grabs an envelope and hands it to Nathan, Cave deftly reaches over and takes it for him.
“I think that's it.” Nathan says standing up. “It was a pleasure to meet you.” he says getting ready to walk out.
“By the way, what did you do with the Djinn? I find it hard to believe they’re all in a cupboard somewhere.”
Nathan turns around and looks at the queen again before flexing his presence for the first time, letting it settle around everyone, the soldiers shudder and look for the threat whilst prince philip and Charles stare at Nathan in shock. The queen simply glares at him. “I set them free.”

I run a small business which involves shipping kits of metal plates and tubes. I am looking for suggestions to optimize my packing process using reusable cardboard.
Current Situation:

• I currently bundle items together with polythene stretch wrap and use starch packing peanuts. However, this process lacks in professionalism and is really unpleasant to pack.
• I'd prefer to use layer inserts (think foam cutouts) with cut-out profiles that fit the parts.

Details:

• The parts I pack are either 10mm flat or 40mm tube.
• Need 3 layers of 10mm and 2 layers of 40mm; sheet size 400x300mm.
• Typical cut length per layer would be approximately 4500mm w/ outer profile.
• I have an abundance of waste cardboard in convenient 1200x1000x5mm corrugated cardboard sheets.
• Using this method would involve cutting around 24 sheets plus some blank layer dividers per unit.
• I produce around 100 units per year.
• I don't really want to switch from primarily biodegradable starch packing to a plastic-based foam

My limitations:

• Money- it's not hugely profitable, my focus is on making the products more accessible, so I'm always trying to keep costs down. I already have a solution that works, but not optimally, so I can only justify spending so much on this
• Space- I do have a fair amount, but I don't have room for a big machine if it can only be used for this. But a fixed 400x300mm laser cutteengraver would be useful for lots of different things.

My Current Capabilities:

• 3D Printing (350x350mm)
• Metal Laser Cutting, plate or tube, this is outsourced, but I already buy 5, 8, 10mm steel, as well as 40mm box section frequently
• Air compressor
• Experience building machines, CNC or otherwise
• A complete distain for my mortality
• (Yet somehow) 10 digits and two mostly functional eyeballs I'd like to retain

Thoughts:

• A small 400x300mm CoreXY Diode Laser Cutter:
  
  • Already have a 5.5W diode laser!
  • Good versatility for its footprint
  • Slow cutting speed
  • Lot of cycling
  • Affinity for catching fire (thinking about making it a nitrogen-rich chamber)
• A small 400mm wide Laser Cutter with a fixed X-Gantry and feed rollers for Y-axis
  
  • Most of the above
  • Much smaller footprint
  • Less versatile (but could still handle most sheet materials)
  • Could autonomously process 4 layers before needing to be fed
  • Harder to seal chamber
  • Can have a fixed knife to trim edges automatically
• SCARA Robot Arm + Diode Laser
  
  • Pretty much the same as the first one
  • But I kinda want a robot arm
  • It may genuinely be useful for a lot of other tasks with different effectors
  • Tiny footprint (but still needs enclosure/shield)
  • Versatile but really badly optimised for this task
  • Could potentially handle a drop-knife if I build it particularly rigid
• 400mm Wide Die Cutter
  
  • I haven't used one
  • I don't know how to make the dies
  • I may be able to 3D print rotary dies from ABS, but I don't know if they'll hold up
  • I may be able to cut flat dies from steel to be fed through spring-loaded rollers, sandwiched between plywood, but I don't know much about how the dies are made
  • Not actually that big if the machine doesn't include the table
  • Less risk of fire and blindess. Digits are in a tiny bit more danger
  • Already own massive fuckoff 24V wiper motor from a bus
  • I have no idea what else I would use it for (custom boxes may be cool)
  • Harder to iterate- if I modify any of my parts, I'll have to make new dies
• 40-80W CO2 Laser Cutter:
  
  • Expensive
  • Generally have a smaller bed, so may need to process in 2 parts
  • Much bigger footprint for bed size compared to diode
  • Way more versatile and useful
  • Much faster cutting, I think 2-3 mins per sheet
  • Don't have to build it, because I can't
  • Still could catch fire a bit
• CNC Router with Drag Knife
  
  • Complete overkill
  • But you know you want one
  • Drag Knife and Roller would allow fast, safe cutting, and ability to make custom boxes
  • Bigger footprint
  • More complicated and rigid build requirements
  • Incredibly versatile (could be used with a diode laser too)
  • May be able to convince them to keep it at work (boss is big into woodwork, and being able to make custom boxes and prototypes will be genuinely handy)
  • Leveraging metal laser cutting (sheet and tube) capabilities may make this easier than it appears, although flatness may suffer compared to ali extrusion
  • I will have to suppress my urge to make something that can cut aluminium
• Foam Cutter
  
  • Way more straightforward
  • Could use a lightweight motion system and cut with laser, hot wire, or cutting dies
  • Feels wasteful
  • Uses bulky stock that I would have to buy in, rather than stock I already have that is a waste product
  • Would be able to get 10mm layers, rather than stacks of 5mm
  • May be able to get starch foam sheets
  • F U M E S
  • Not sure what else I'd use it for after I make cutouts for all my drawers!
• Stop procrastinating a task you don't like doing by spending disproportionately long coming up with slightly better ways of doing it because it would be cooler (see: my automatic bolt-counting project)
  

Thanks for reading my brain-dump. If you have any suggestions on how I could proceed, or experience cutting material like this, it would be awesome! I genuinely love packaging in general, and it bums me out how shitty my current solution is. I'd like to be able to take more pride in my product, get more satisfaction from packing it, and make the user experience better.

I run a small business which involves shipping kits of metal plates and tubes. I am looking for suggestions to optimize my packing process using reusable cardboard.
Current Situation:

• I currently bundle items together with polythene stretch wrap and use starch packing peanuts. However, this process lacks in professionalism and is really unpleasant to pack.
• I'd prefer to use layer inserts (think foam cutouts) with cut-out profiles that fit the parts.

Details:

• The parts I pack are either 10mm flat or 40mm tube.
• Need 3 layers of 10mm and 2 layers of 40mm; sheet size 400x300mm.
• Typical cut length per layer would be approximately 4500mm w/ outer profile.
• I have an abundance of waste cardboard in convenient 1200x1000x5mm corrugated cardboard sheets.
• Using this method would involve cutting around 24 sheets plus some blank layer dividers per unit.
• I produce around 100 units per year.
• I don't really want to switch from primarily biodegradable starch packing to a plastic-based foam

My limitations:

• Money- it's not hugely profitable, my focus is on making the products more accessible, so I'm always trying to keep costs down. I already have a solution that works, but not optimally, so I can only justify spending so much on this
• Space- I do have a fair amount, but I don't have room for a big machine if it can only be used for this. But a fixed 400x300mm laser cutteengraver would be useful for lots of different things.

My Current Capabilities:

• 3D Printing (350x350mm)
• Metal Laser Cutting, plate or tube, this is outsourced, but I already buy 5, 8, 10mm steel, as well as 40mm box section frequently
• Air compressor
• Experience building machines, CNC or otherwise
• A complete distain for my mortality
• (Yet somehow) 10 digits and two mostly functional eyeballs I'd like to retain

Thoughts:

• A small 400x300mm CoreXY Diode Laser Cutter:
  
  • Already have a 5.5W diode laser!
  • Good versatility for its footprint
  • Slow cutting speed
  • Lot of cycling
  • Affinity for catching fire (thinking about making it a nitrogen-rich chamber)
• A small 400mm wide Laser Cutter with a fixed X-Gantry and feed rollers for Y-axis
  
  • Most of the above
  • Much smaller footprint
  • Less versatile (but could still handle most sheet materials)
  • Could autonomously process 4 layers before needing to be fed
  • Harder to seal chamber
  • Can have a fixed knife to trim edges automatically
• SCARA Robot Arm + Diode Laser
  
  • Pretty much the same as the first one
  • But I kinda want a robot arm
  • It may genuinely be useful for a lot of other tasks with different effectors
  • Tiny footprint (but still needs enclosure/shield)
  • Versatile but really badly optimised for this task
  • Could potentially handle a drop-knife if I build it particularly rigid
• 400mm Wide Die Cutter
  
  • I haven't used one
  • I don't know how to make the dies
  • I may be able to 3D print rotary dies from ABS, but I don't know if they'll hold up
  • I may be able to cut flat dies from steel to be fed through spring-loaded rollers, sandwiched between plywood, but I don't know much about how the dies are made
  • Not actually that big if the machine doesn't include the table
  • Less risk of fire and blindess. Digits are in a tiny bit more danger
  • Already own massive fuckoff 24V wiper motor from a bus
  • I have no idea what else I would use it for (custom boxes may be cool)
  • Harder to iterate- if I modify any of my parts, I'll have to make new dies
• 40-80W CO2 Laser Cutter:
  
  • Expensive
  • Generally have a smaller bed, so may need to process in 2 parts
  • Much bigger footprint for bed size compared to diode
  • Way more versatile and useful
  • Much faster cutting, I think 2-3 mins per sheet
  • Don't have to build it, because I can't
  • Still could catch fire a bit
• CNC Router with Drag Knife
  
  • Complete overkill
  • But you know you want one
  • Drag Knife and Roller would allow fast, safe cutting, and ability to make custom boxes
  • Bigger footprint
  • More complicated and rigid build requirements
  • Incredibly versatile (could be used with a diode laser too)
  • May be able to convince them to keep it at work (boss is big into woodwork, and being able to make custom boxes and prototypes will be genuinely handy)
  • Leveraging metal laser cutting (sheet and tube) capabilities may make this easier than it appears, although flatness may suffer compared to ali extrusion
  • I will have to suppress my urge to make something that can cut aluminium
• Foam Cutter
  
  • Way more straightforward
  • Could use a lightweight motion system and cut with laser, hot wire, or cutting dies
  • Feels wasteful
  • Uses bulky stock that I would have to buy in, rather than stock I already have that is a waste product
  • Would be able to get 10mm layers, rather than stacks of 5mm
  • May be able to get starch foam sheets
  • F U M E S
  • Not sure what else I'd use it for after I make cutouts for all my drawers!
• Stop procrastinating a task you don't like doing by spending disproportionately long coming up with slightly better ways of doing it because it would be cooler (see: my automatic bolt-counting project)
  

Thanks for reading my brain-dump. If you have any suggestions on how I could proceed, or experience cutting material like this, it would be awesome! I genuinely love packaging in general, and it bums me out how shitty my current solution is. I'd like to be able to take more pride in my product, get more satisfaction from packing it, and make the user experience better.

My boy, Benny, is 10 weeks this upcoming Thursday. We’ve tried basic obedience at home but I just can’t seem to grab his attention. He’s definitely food motivated but can be a bit greedy and mouthy when we train. Our first week together was a bit hectic, because he came to work with me, we drove a lot. But when we had down time we played and I used his meal time as small training sessions then allowing him to finish the rest in a puzzle feeder.
I guess what I’m feeling and trying to say is that I feel like I’m failing him already. He only knows sit and down, not even by command, while refusing to do anything else. He HATES THE CRATE DURING THE DAY, but is okay for it during naps and sleep. He bites so much and extremely hard, my arms are raw and I’m a bit tired. I’m trying really hard not to compare to the tik tok puppies lol and train the dog in front of me. M Benny is my first puppy as an adult, however this past week having him has made me appreciate my mom so much more since she raised the two puppies we had growing up.
My partner has been pretty hands off, which we agreed would be the best option since I wanted the dog, but there are sometimes I just need to take a quick shower or a bathroom break. If I put Benny in the crate he screams the whole time, and if I ask my partner to watch him - he just lets Benny run around without supervision. So I feel a little lonely and guilty for getting this puppy. But oh has he changed my life already.
I’m up at 5:30 am and we’re in bed by 11:00pm with 1hr up and 2hr down as our schedule. And I work from 2-6 every day as a caregiver. So I have ample time to do basic obedience, I’m just wondering will I’d be best for us to get into a class together? Would it also be best to train in a secluded area if my home?

I'm currently growing more and more disenchanted at running different hacks in order to get my 1080p 14" T14 to a usable state for my eyes; death from a million cuts and all that. The experimental fractional scaling support for GNOME is just too blurry for me to use comfortably (ignoring XWayland apps, which I can live with not using, even fonts in wayland apps are too blurry imo), and font scaling has its own share of issues; the discrepancies in QT apps, Firefox dialog menus flickering, external displays with different DPIs, UI being too small etc.
So, I'm looking into laptops which don't require that, either by supporting integer scaling, or by having a display with the correct DPI from the start. To my eyes it feels like having a DPI of 120~130 is the sweet spot, as I am currently running back to my X250 with a 720p screen where everything just feels right. But, I'm having difficulty finding any laptops with this type of DPI (or double that).
Other than the display I'm super flexible regarding specs, as the most demanding tasks I do, I delegate to servers anyways. The only laptop I've found is the X280 with a 720p screen (I don't mind the 720p screen), but the ideal would be something 13" with a 3200x1800 screen. While I found some with that type display (like the Thinkbook 13x) they all share the problem as being in the same ballpark pricewise to the Macbook Air M1/M2, and at that point the pragmatic part of my brain screams to just bite the bullet, even though I want to keep on using Linux.
Any suggestions?

This is the final phase of the first arc/saga of this new universe which has so far been well received. If you haven't read Phase One and Phase Two, I would welcome you to do so.
Now then, let's finish this arc.
Schedule

• Doctor Strange: The Oath
• The Brotherhood of Mutants 2
• Inhumans
• Captain Marvel
• Iron Man: The Five Nightmares
• X-Force
• Black Panther: War of the Worlds
• Spider-Man: The First Hunt
• Marvel Presents: The Phoenix Force - Part One
• Moon Knight
• Inhumans vs. X-Men
• Marvel Presents: The Phoenix Force - Part Two

Doctor Strange: The Oath

Get a character study director on this, I like the profile of Greta Gerwig but I fear I may be overusing her.
As the title suggests, it's a faithful adaptation of the Oath storyline from the comics, a storyline very small in scale and a lot more personal than the usual Doctor Strange adventure. For the unfamiliar, the story is about an elixir that could potentially save the world from a very specific disease, one that Wong is afflicted with, and the story ends with Strange deciding to save Wong by using the last of the elixir rather than potentially save the world. We will continue to set up Nightmare as the big bad for the final Doctor Strange film, as he possesses access to the affliction the elixir cures, and sends dark sorcerors to try and retrieve the elixir so that he can infect the world, spurring the plot of this film. One of those sorcerors is Nicodemus West who we have already used in the previous Doctor Strange film, so replace him with another sorceror.
Stephen swears by his oath and saves Wong's life at the end, and him and Christine finally get together, completing their two movie arc (Christine will play a much larger role in the plot of this film too so her relationship with Stephen should tie into the main plot instead of being just a side plot thread).

The Brotherhood of Mutants 2

Continue the feud between Magneto and Doom, plants seeds of doubt in Sabretooth to the brotherhood, get Colossus more involved in finding out the Brotherhood's true nature, make Toad a proper player in the game and expand Mystique's and Rogue's characters. I don't have a proper plot in mind but these are the general goals of this film.
This is my next genre experimentation as I want Wes Anderson to direct this. Combining his distinct visual style with old Eastern Europa will create some stunning imagery, I can already see it. He can tone down the action for a more thriller-like plot if he wants to, it's all really up to him how he completes those goals.
By the end of the film, Sabretooth leaves the brotherhood, and is approached by Xavier.

Inhumans

Create a character thriller drama, to the point of it being almost theatrical, as I want this to be a mix of styles. Think of something like Matthew Warchus' Matilda: The Musical mixed with Ari Aster's Hereditary.
Black Bolt needs to be established as a top player in this universe. While the Illuminati isn't a thing yet, there should be no mistake about the fact that not only is he the king of Attilan, but the king of all Inhumans, who are revealed to the world by the end of this film. I don't have a particular plot in mind, but something within the Inhumans would be ideal as I don't want any external threats, rather making this film a self-contained story with its own characters all within its own species. I would include Medusa, Maximus, Lockjaw, Karnak, Crystal, Triton, Quake, Ms Marvel, Gorgon and Tonaja (the latter of which I think could be reworked as the primary antagonist and eventually killed).

Captain Marvel

Get a proper Captain Marvel origin story, going from her human origins all the way to her getting her powers, no real mystery but just a straight shot. Our antagonists are Mandroid and Yon-Rogg, who while they only offer a physical threat at first, must create an emotional dilemma for Carol Danvers. This is why once again we have to get a director who will focus more on characters driving the story to get some actual stakes. Mar-Vell features too, fighting alongside Carol in the final act. We have tiny roles from Nick Fury and Bruce Banner, with Bruce being accidentally ejected into space god knows where.

Iron Man: The Five Nightmares

Adapting the Five Nightmares storyline, with a legacy villain too.
Our main antagonists are Ezekiel Stane as Titanium Man and Justin Hammer's daughter, Sarah Hammer. We have MODOK and The Tinkerer too, but MODOK doesn't die, rather escaping Tony's grasp and the Tinkerer is arrested.
Tony ends his relationship with Bethany in this film because he fully accepts that he's falling for Pepper but the movie's midpoint is where Pepper turns Tony down alongside Stane and Hammer having destroyed his current armour, saying she doesn't want to make things weird and doesn't have interest in him like that. It destroys Tony until Rhodey appears for the first time in the film and gets him back on his feet, which is when Tony reveals the War Machine armour alongside a prototype for Tony's own next armour, setting up our final protagonist pairing for the rest of the film.

X-Force

This is essentially everyone trying to be in an X-Force film while Deadpool keeps trying to turn it into Deadpool 4.
Our roster is Wolverine, Deadpool, a returning Cable, Sunspot, Cannonball, Domino, Multiple Man, Warpath and Polaris, fighting against the Worthington Industries in Archangel and the Brotherhood, namely Magneto, Magik and Colossus.
Magik and Colossus change sides by the end, being freed of Magneto's indoctrination.
Wolverine sees the err in his previous actions during Age of Ultron, trying his best to stop Archangel by making him change his ways rather than killing him. However, nothing seems to work and Deadpool decapitates him, pissing Logan off. The two bicker and eventually come to blows, turning our final act into Deadpool 4 proper as its just Wolverine and Deadpool fucking the shit out of each other. The fight has no real stakes and is basically the punchline to the setup that has been present throughout the movie, but the fight before is the one with real emotional stakes.
The movie ends with Logan and Wade simultaneously decapitating each other, and then their disembodied heads roll next to each other and have a casual one-take conversation for a few minutes in which Wade declares X-Force disbanded.

Black Panther: War of the Worlds

Possessing the same sub-title as the second Namor film, this is a continuation of that story, and deals with T'Challa's death.
Basically the main plot of it is that Wakanda and Atlantis' shaky truce gets worse as time goes on, and Namor, tempted by Storm and T'Challa's absence, decides to break the truce to declare war once again: obviously this is a war crime but if Atlantis is revealed to the world then Wakanda will be too so they can do nothing but fight back.
Shuri is our protagonist and her main arc is the arc of responsibility, realising that even if she may not be ready for the throne, she must take over to defend her country as if she doesn't, Wakanda will be helpless. I will give this movie license to kill a couple of side characters such as Namora and Monica Lynne to raise stakes but it really doesn't need to happen, I just prefer if the rosters of films aren't too bloated.
The film ends with Wakanda successfully defending itself, and Shuri deciding not to go on the offensive and spare Namor's life so he can go back to his kingdom: unlike T'Challa who went on the offensive after losing his mother. All hail the queen.

Spider-Man: The First Hunt

This is an adaptation of Spider-Man: Blue, but replacing Gwen Stacy with Mary Jane Watson. Gwen does play a short role in a flashback to flesh out Peter's story. I want to play a little fast and loose with the continuity, essentially continuing Peter's story from where No Way Home left him off but never really acknowledging if its canon or not, as May is alive, Flash Thompson is a blue eye-blonde hair white guy again (not that I have a problem with Tony Revolori, he was so funny but I don't think he would be the right choice for Anti-Venom). We have Harry Osborn as the new best friend, although he as well as every other character in the film, is unaware of Spider-Man's identity. Norman is here too, set up as a big villain before he is twist-killed by the Goblin serum as he was incompatible with the formula. We also have Dr Kurt Connors in a minor role, he does nothing outside of showing up in a lab a couple times and that's it.
Our main villain is Kraven the Hunter, who hunts Spider-Man down and comes narrowly close to figuring out Spider-Man's identity using his superior tracking abilities. However, he is off by just one apartment, knocking down the apartment next to Peter's, starting our final sequence which is almost a horror sequence as Peter tries to get out of the building while Kraven is there knowing he can't handle him in tight spaces, before the actual final fight begins in which Peter eventually wins but after some great struggles.
Post-credits: Kraven is in prison when he is drugged and wakes up in a mysterious location, untied. He looks around to see Whiplash, Mysterio, and... Mastermind. Mastermind brought them all out with a purpose: to take down their enemies together, as they can do more together than they can alone.
After the other three are out of sight, Mastermind's body changes, revealing his form was actually an illusion. He is crippled, wheelchair-bound. The damage Emma Frost and Xavier did to him was real, but not fatal.

Marvel Presents: The Phoenix Force - Part One

The film opens with Jean and Scott by themselves at home, with a reveal that they now have a child named Rachel Summers. The opening set piece is Scott and Rachel running away after Jean's possession at the hands of the Phoenix becomes apparent and she nearly kills the two of them. This first film in the Phoenix Force is essentially the Dark Phoenix Saga, Jean Grey being overwhelmed and taken under the control of the Phoenix Force. She essentially becomes another Ultron-like threat, fighting everyone all by herself at one point.
This part has essentially every mutant that has appeared in the series who isn't dead alongside the debut of the Illuminati in the form of Iron Man, Namor, Professor X, Captain America, Doctor Strange, Mister Fantastic and Black Bolt. We see Sabretooth and Wolverine in the same place finally too, brothers re-uniting after decades.
The Phoenix is a lone force, forcing people like Magneto, Xavier and Captain America to all work together to stop it, putting aside their differences temporarily. However, even that is not enough to win without losses, as Nightcrawler, Thunderbird, Sabretooth, Lifeguard and Mystique all die by the midpoint of the film. Domino dies too, saying that she's lucky she doesn't have to live through this, really setting the darkness that may lie in the future. I want to create narrative reasons for their deaths but that would require a lot of intricate set-up and payoff, essentially having to write a scene-to-scene script which I don't want to right now. Sabretooth's dead crushes Logan, and he is motivated to kill Jean but him and Scott fight over it, Scott wanting to save Jean from the Phoenix than just kill her.
However, all this time, it's clear that the Phoenix is not limited to Jean as a vessel, as there are hints of yellow present in certain characters. The final battle is another one-versus-all, with the Phoenix fighting the physical threats in one realm while Xavier and Wanda fight her together in a telepathic dimension, neither able to control her mind and only facing resistance from the Phoenix, believing it to be the Phoenix using Jean's telepathy. At one point, Logan manages to get close enough to kill Jean but just as it seems like he's going to cut off her head he is lasered away by Cyclops, which gives the Phoenix enough time to re-direct a Havok blast towards Iceman, killing Bobby and sucking away Havok's power. Scott sees his best friend and brother both destroyed, and is distraught. We see some of the yellow fade from Jean's body as it seems like the Phoenix may be losing the fight against Jean, but when the camera goes back to Scott it's clear the Phoenix actually is changing its host, and Scott, clearly affected by the Phoenix, directs a gold-accented laser at Jean's neck, killing her and releasing the Phoenix Force into the world, where it concentrates into a golden flash before latching itself onto the five closest vessels it can find: Cyclops, Namor, Magik, Blink and Spider-Woman. The Phoenix Five.
Xavier tries to stop the Phoenix once again, asking Scott to let go of the power as it would corrupt him. Scott does not respond, leading to Xavier trying to open his mind, only to find that it wasn't Jean's telepathy stopping him from taking control of Jean, but rather the Phoenix Force itself, as he is only met by a laser from Cyclops to his head. After they had seemed to have finally put their differences aside after years to stop Jean, Scott kills Xavier.

Moon Knight

Get Christopher Nolan in a room, get him to read Moon Knight's All New All Different series, let him work his magic.
For the unfamiliar, Moon Knight's ANAD run is focused on mental illness and illusion more than the superhero aspect of Moon Knight. I think Nolan is possibly the best mindfuck director in the history of cinema, so he could work wonders with this concept. Complete creative freedom given to him, I don't want to taint his filmography.

Inhumans vs. X-Men

Showing more of Magneto's capability to turn people with his words, he is now the head of the Worthington company alongside Mister Sinister, and the two take a lot of known mutants, primarily from the brotherhood, and put them together into their own 'X-Men', a name which isn't owned by anyone since pretty much everyone is scrambling for power and don't really know what they're doing in the wake of the Phoenix Five. Cyclops and Blink are recruited too, but keep their involvement secret from the other three in the Phoenix Five.
This X-Men team is tasked by Magneto with taking down the Inhumans who he sees as mutantkind's biggest threat, this acting as our arc ender for the Inhumans as they don't play a big role in the Phoenix Force storyline.
Inhumans: Black Bolt, Medusa, Maximus, Karnak, Lockjaw, Crystal, Quake (dies), Triton, Dazzler
'X-Men': Magneto, Phoenix Cyclops, Phoenix Blink, Beast, Toad, Rogue, Quicksilver (switches sides)
Attilan does lose Quake but manage to fend off the Brotherhood by defeating Phoenix Blink and proving they can't be defeated just yet.

Marvel Presents: The Phoenix Force - Part Two

The Phoenix Five essentially hold the world hostage, their great power causing fear amongst everyone. This is where we finally get Krakoa as a haven for mutants, ruled over by the Phoenix Five.
After the events of the Inhumans vs. X-Men, Black Bolt talks to the rest of the now expanded Illuminati: Iron Man, Captain America, Doctor Strange, Beast, Mister Fantastic and Black Panther, and they agree that the next infringement from a Phoenix Five member must result in response. Sure enough, Phoenix Namor, separated from Atlantis after his Phoenix powering, tries to regain his kingdom, and this is the last straw.
Cyclops and Iron Man talk, and Cyclops gets angry before the two fight and eventually Tony is forced to flee, knowing Cyclops will win. The Phoenix Five decide to go on the offensive against the Avengers, and that's the rest of our plot: Avengers vs X-Men. Of course this is different, as the 'X-Men' is really just the Phoenix Five while the Avengers include non-Phoenix Five mutants.
The Phoenix Five arrive at the Future Foundation building and decimate it, with Ben and Johnny sacrificing themselves so that Reed and Sue can get away. By then, Captain Marvel arrives, sensing a great cosmic force and holds the Phoenix Five in place for some time before the rest of the Avengers and mutants come, starting our final big battle.
Cyclops is fixated on loss after losing Jean, and focuses on the closer pairs, and the Phoenix Five eventually succeeding in killing Captain Britain (brother of Psylocke), Scarlet Witch (sister of Quicksilver) and Colossus (sister of Magik).
Magik does not realise that Colossus was a target too, and when she sees him die something clicks in her as he cries out to her for help. A seed of doubt. Cable goes to defend Colossus although he knows he is too late, and is attacked by Magik, although Cable is just able to block it, before he is killed by Spider-Woman from behind, who looks at Magik with suspicion - it was clear she was holding back. Storm and Shadowcat are trapped around three members of the Phoenix Five while the others try crowd control, and the two try their best but are outmatched, and they die too.
However, the heroes finally strike first blood when Iron Man uses one of Blink's portals against her and fires a Unibeam through it, hurting and distracting her before Black Bolt finally speaks for the first time, destroying her body. Magik manages to break free of the Phoenix spell after an internal struggle, but the Phoenix Force realises this and immediately kills her from the inside, but not before Magik manages to suck the power from Namor and Spider-Woman into herself. The explosion of power fractures the force into nothingness, leaving just the last piece of it inhabited within Cyclops.
Phoenix Cyclops fights harder than ever but is eventually halted by Rachel, his daughter. He hesitates but continues to fight nonetheless, although it is once again clear that Scott may have one hand on the wheel as he always seems to miss Rachel. Eventually Black Panther manages to get a vibranium cover over Scott's eyes which he takes a minute to get off, time in which the Phoenix Force works on pure instinct in fighting everyone off. Scott finally gets it off and tries to fight again but stops in place and clutches his heart. The camera moves into Scott's body to reveal the Wasp blocking an artery, and she expands out of Scott, killing him and releasing the last of the Phoenix Force which Doctor Strange contains within a mirror cage before its destroyed by a combination of a lot of people's powers.
Post-Credits: Reed and Sue re-form the Future Foundation, not as a building but as a team, with Wolverine and the Wasp joining.
That brings us to the end of The Phoenix Arc, the first of three arcs of this universe. The Phoenix came and was destroyed. The mutants peaked but lost their leaders, the Avengers and Illuminati were formed, the Inhumans were revealed to the heroes, and the Fantastic Four came together and were destroyed.

I had been a hunter for most of my life leading up to this incident. The smell of the warm air and the beauty of nature always had me at ease. I never felt scared alone at night because I have seen everything there is to be scared of. I have seen bears the size of a small car and animals so vicious they would kill anything that moved.
The one thing I was never scared of was deer. I had heard the tales of the Skinwalker, The Wendigo and pretty much anything in-between. My uncle was an expert in tracking and hunting, We always went on trips together and would always come back with a fresh kill. He had something about him, It was a rule. I remember it so vividly because it was weird. He never wanted to go hunting in winter. I never asked why. I don't know but something about it always had me on edge.
One day it was winter and I was about to go deer hunting when my uncle stopped at my front door. When he came in he saw my packed supplies and my rifle and knew I was about to go hunting. He immediately burst into a wrath of anger as he dragged me to a wall and got into my face. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" His spit went all over my face as he looked crazy, He looked primal as if he was fearful of something that he did not want to share, It's the same face you would expect a child to make if they were dumped in the middle of nowhere, The same face of fear you see in people who have PTSD.
I calmly brushed him off and got to the door saying I was going hunting. I was not about to fight with my uncle and ruin this trip as I hadn't gone hunting for close to a month. When you hunt you get adjusted to it and when you go on breaks you actually miss it.
As I got into my truck my uncle peered at me out the window. He was there to take care of my house but before I reversed he left with the door open. My uncle is prone to outbursts. As I should mention, He's only ever done it a few times and it's always in a situation where the reaction suits it. Not this one however. What was so bad about hunting in the winter?
The spot I had planned was an isolated one. It was a very heavily forested area which I had not been to before. I obviously had mapped the area out and brought essential survival tools in case the worst came. But I never thought I would have to use it after all those years out in the forest.
When I arrived the crisp cold air immediately saturated me in discomfort, I quickly got another layer of clothes on before I started to walk to where I would set up camp for the night. The clearing I had chosen was a pretty tight one, There was a big tree in the center that stood tall above the rest. It was called the forest star which suited it. Around the clearing the forest was extremely dense, Almost no sun shone through the top. There was a small hunting tower north of the entrance of the clearing so it was a direct walk from camp.
As I walked ahead I noticed something. There were small droplets of blood littering the ground. My first thought was that it must have been an injured animal or something like that but the droplets were small and almost even. I shook the thought out of my head and made it to my setup and I started to pin my tent. When I was done I checked my watch. It was around 5:30 pm. I had around 2 hours for hunting before it was pitch black and so I made it to the tower.
When I undid my rifle from its case I heard scampering. Shaking it off I took position and waited. As I stood there time almost slowed down, I was in a precise focus and was ready for anything. I wasn't ready for what I saw. Out came 2 small bucks that seemed injured, There were small droplets of blood coming from their eyes. As I focused in I saw that it wasn't dried blood, It was fresh and it was oozing from their eyes.
I was shocked, I had never seen anything like it. Multiple scenarios ran through my head. I was thinking "Had a hunter shot both of them in the eyes and managed to not kill them" But each scenario seemed more unlikely then the last.
I took aim at the closest one and shot it. It stood there for a second just not moving. Then they trotted off as if nothing had happened. Blood was running from the wound so I had obviously hit it, But it didn't seem scared nor phased. I decided that was enough and sort of jogged to my site. I was freaked out and decided that I'd cook dinner and go to bed early.
When I scampered around my pack I pulled out a tin of beans. I grabbed a pot and started a fire and began cooking them. As I cracked open a beer the familiar sound of a branch snapping sounded off next to me. I thought it was probably just a small deer and I brushed it off as I sat and relaxed. I was thinking about the deer and I started to chalk it up to the fact I must not have hit deep and the deer were shocked.
When I finished eating I went to bed. I was shivering in the night cold and I could feel my body shaking uncontrollably. As I dozed off after a brutal 2 hours of cold I heard another snap. This time however, It was a-lot louder. Like a bear. I immediately grabbed my rifle and went out of my tent. My fire burned low and in the distance I saw 2 red lights. I walked towards it when my mind started to race. Something felt wrong.
As I closed the distance my gut was literally twisted, My mind was anxious and I felt like I was about to break down. Then I realized what was wrong. Those weren't lights. They were 2 big beady solid red eyes. There were no pupils, They were just orbs hovering.
When I realized I stood frozen, I thought it was a big cat but what emerged was so much worse. Its fur was black, Darker than the night around us, Its antlers grew twisted and uneven. But the worst part? It was crying blood. Deep red droplets were pelting down its unnatural eyes. I couldn't make a sound, I was frozen in fear.
Then it started to make sounds, The sounds of a baby crying. It was horrible. The sounds of unnatural wails filled the cold air making it worse. My body felt crumpled and so I finally broke out into a sprint. When I looked back it stood there. It wasn't even breathing. But the sounds of that baby crying weren't fading. It was like a speaker was attached to my ear.
When I made it back to camp I rushed to pack my stuff. In a hurry I ran leaving the tent behind and I rushed to my truck. As I fumbled with the keys I saw that something was walking slowly towards me. That's when the whispering started. Terrible faint voices echoed throughout the forest as my mind started to close. I felt my cerebral melting as anything I tried to do would not happen, It was like sleep paralysis.
As I stood there I found the strength to finally open the door and get in my car. I slammed the door shut and that thing was right at the window. I started to sob as I jammed the keys in the ignition. My mind felt fried as I swerved out of there. I didn't care if I hit anything, I just wanted to be away from that thing.
Before I could properly back out it stood up on its legs and it repeated a voice I recognised “You… You do not escape thee.. The forests are.. Mine..” It was my grandpa's voice. He died when I was 6 and I never knew any of the details.
The thing then made a howl, a terrible shrieking howl that hurt my entire body. As it did so I heard scampering as more of those things came out. They had blood running from their eyes as well. The baby cries started again and thats when i finally drove out of that fucking place.
When I raced home I immediately barged into the door. My shoulder ached but I didn't care. I shoved my door and locked it and ran into my kitchen. That's when I saw my uncle sitting at the table enjoying a small glass of scotch.
"So.. You saw what I did , didn't you Anthony?"
"I..I" I couldn't form words. I was so shocked. My uncle came up to me and said "What you saw out there is my rule I abide by. There are things in those forests in winter that are so horrible even the most seasoned can't handle it. I saw it when I was a boy and since then I don't hunt during winter."
I finally mustered a sentence "W-What was it." He took a small sip before sitting me down "You saw something called Urburak, It is an ancient being that dwells in the forests during these winters. Hunters who see it usually never are the same again but some never come home. I was lucky."
My uncle sort of sniffled as he told me about his encounter with Urburak.
"When I was 14 my father and I went out into the woods on a very cold winter to hunt. Our family was struggling so we didn't have much food. When we were hunting my father called out to me but before I could even get to him I heard him yell out before he fell silent. I never saw him again. But what stood there was worse than the loss of my own. A deer with red eyes, Black fur and twisted antlers stood there. Blood was running from its eyes. Then it started to cry like a baby."
My uncle broke down and had to take a second before continuing. I comforted him as I was teary eyed.
"It.. It ran after me Anthony. On 2 legs. It was like a human and I rushed to get away from it. I managed to get myself." He rolled up his sleeve to reveal a terrible red scar that ran across the entire underside of his arm. "It was trying to feast on me, It knew I feared it. But eventually I managed to lose it."
He finally finished his scotch before continuing.
"I was stuck in those forests for 3 days fighting to survive. I heard its cries and whispers all around as I tried to make it out, I finally arrived at a road and was taken in by the police. No trace was found of my father except for one thing. They found blood at the scene and tested it. It was my fathers. What was strange about it? It was mixed with his tears."
My uncle finally stood up. "Fear it for it knows who you are." Those were his last words. He left my house and the police found him wrapped up in a noose 2 days later. It broke me. My hunting buddy and best friend was gone.
There was 1 detail about his suicide that was never resolved. He had droplets of blood coming from his eyes. The coroner's inspection said it was an aneurysm. But I'm not so sure that is the truth. I am 50 now and I haven't been hunting in 2 decades, I can’t even go into the forests anymore. I'm thinking about going back and seeing what Urburak is. Maybe I can kill him..
Beware Urburak, For he lurks in the cold.

This is going to be long, I apologize in advance.
I've never been to a therapist or anything so I've never been diagnosed, but I'm really starting to feel like I'm coming to terms with the fact I have this trauma in my youth and I never really understood how it's effected me until now.
I'm 45 years old, fwiw.
Now, I'll preface this by saying my story isn't anywhere on par with the real horrors some people have dealt with. So maybe I'm over-dramatizing it, maybe I'm way out of line and anything I've experienced is just bullshit and I shouldn't be a whiny little turd, I don't know. Anyway, here's my story. Apologies in advance for the wall of text.
See, I was born in a muddy craphole of a town, dirt poor, always had hand me downs and when you're poor you just...look and smell poor. Poor kids will know what I mean. Add on being short and overweight and not very attractive, I was a freckly little redhead. It was all bad. I was a minority in my school to add another factor. Throw in an diagnosed learning disability to sweeten that pot. So from the moment I started school the deck was stacked against me. I had every target on my back. I was bullied from day one. Not just by kids but by teachers, too. More than one called me stupid. I kind of acted up and was a little bit of a clown sometimes, it was my way of dealing with the fact I wasn't as good as anyone else. Can't be smart or good at sports or good looking so you might as well be funny, right? But that caused the teachers to take it out on me. One hostage-tied me to a chair one time--duct tape around my ankles, wrists and over my mouth. Another locked me in a closet and removed the light bulb, I was in there for four or five hours. Constant bullying and beatings from the other kids. I quit school in the 9th grade because I got jumped, got a concussion, dislocated shoulder and had my shoes, money and jacket stolen. I just decided I was never going back. That's not even taking into account the generally fucked up nature of my schools. My schools were run like a goddamn prison. From kindergarten up until I left we had no recess. No playtime. We had to walk everywhere in a single file line, to and from every class and cafeteria for lunch. We had to sit at assigned tables, couldn't see our friends. There was a traffic light in the cafeteria. If it was green (it was never green) we could talk openly. If it was yellow we were permitted to speak in subdued tones. If it was red, we had to sit and eat our lunch in silence, when we were done just sit there, motionless, until it was time to return to class. It was almost always red or yellow. Christ, some actual prisons had more freedoms than my schools. And any moment the teachers weren't looking me and kids like me were getting our asses handed to us, hell sometimes when they were looking, some let it happen and even encouraged it.
That's the environment I came out of. I lived my entire school existence from K to 9th grade in fight/flight/freeze mode. Grow eyes in the back of your head. Learn to take a hit. Learn to be invisible. It wasn't just from the kids, either. Some teachers loved to fuck with you.
And I recently was watching a youtuber talking about her CPTSD experience on readjusting to society after doing a few years in prison and I realized she described her experience and way of living in prison was exactly how I described my experience in school from K to 9.
Everyday is fight/flight/freeze mode. Grow eyes in the back of your head. Learn to take a hit. Learn to be invisible. It wasn't just from the kids(inmates), either. Some teachers(CO's) loved to fuck with you.
It's not prison, I know, but when you're a little kid it might as well have been. Every bit of freedom and self identity was stripped away from me. It wasn't until that moment I realized how bad that all fucked me up. I've always known I hated school, so much I never even thought about going to college, it was just another school. One I had to pay for. I would have to pay to experience that kind of abuse? The idea was abhorrent to me. I know now that's not what college is like but that's how it was in my head. To this day, I still go into a cold sweat when I drive past a school. Even into my everyday life I realize how the patterns I learned still control my actions. I'm always paranoid and overly cautious, I still feel that fight/flight/freeze thing whenever I'm around groups of people. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop and someone to say something or do something. If I'm in a room full of people first thing I do is look for every exit. I sit at the very back so no one can be behind me, so no one can sneak up on me. As ridiculous as that thought is, it's there for me. I work in a field where I could be a millionaire if I was more confident and entrepreneurial, but I choose to deliberately work with low income folks, people who maybe were more like me and need genuine help. Even though doing so almost exclusively, even though that's a good thing, it means I've way less money than I should or need and has gotten me into a lot of debt. Having been told I was stupid and ugly for most of my life being around anyone with an air of superiority (wealth, for example) I instantly get defensive and find them off-putting, I don't want to be around them because I immediately assume they think I'm just that poor, smelly ignorant kid. They probably don't, they don't think that at all but it's what I think they think, you know? That's my broken brain. So I can't work with them because I get defensive and maybe even hostile. See, that's the other thing. I have a very short fuse and low tolerance for...difficult(?) people or situations. I get mad easily. I've never hit a person in my life and don't think I ever would but I've punched holes in walls and destroyed laptops and tv's or shattered remote controls, I can get unsettlingly aggressive and rage out when I get set off.
It always seems to be little things that set me off, too. I think I'm used to being unable to control the big elements of life since all that was so regulated and never afforded me in the first place. But little things like the laptop freezing, the batteries in the remote dying or someone not understanding my email, I feel like these are simple things, things I should have some control over. And when I don't, when I can't, it triggers me. And I explode.
So that's where I'm at. I know, poor me, boo hoo I had a shitty childhood and shitty schools, there's people who had real problems and suffered real abuse and I don't mean to say my bullshit compares on any level to those of you out there who had to experience that stuff. But I'm really just starting to understand what I went through, trivial in comparison though it may be, did mess with me and did leave me...broken(?) somehow. And...I don't really know how to deal with that.
Therapy never seemed an option, not only did I never think I needed it but I grew up in a time and place where seeing a shrink just meant you were stupid and crazy and you were looked at as defective. I know that's not the world anymore and I live in a place now where no one would think that and people would encourage one to go to therapy but just my whole life makes me naturally resistant to the notion. That's something else I suppose I need to overcome.
Anyway, I guess I'm just looking for advice. On if this really is CPTSD and if not, what kind of screw up am I and generally whatever advice anyone may be able to give me going forward.
If you read this whole thing I appreciate it, I apologize for this lengthy rambling, thank you, sincerely and I really do appreciate any input. Again, sorry for wasting anyone's time.

Backrooms Level 348 - The Clown Forest
What is this Level? There is a small chance that when you noclip through reality you end up if level 348. This level consists of three stages formed in circles around eachother. The first stage is on the outside and goes slowly towards the inner stages. The first appears to be a dead orchard that every few years bursts with fruit that is safe to eat. The second stage is what geographers say to resemble the forests of Kent, England, a wooded area of brown and grey trees, some of which have leaves. The third and centre stage is a heavily wooded area with a large warehouse somewhere in the centre.
Buildings/resources There are many stages of infrastructure here. It starts with small shacks built out of sticks (we are unsure of their origins, whether they are built by survivors or the entities). They sometimes include campfires. There are also broken down warehouses and permanent homes. This makes us believe that there was some sort of life before the forest took over.
There aren't many resources here. There is what appears to be rain, but we are unsure if it is safe or not. The only that seems to be available drinkable water has been found in warehouses.
Entities There are few entities in this level. They consist of the average animal seen in English forests, such as birds and or foxes. These "animals" all seem to be passive. They wander this possibly infinite level without needing to eat or drink. But there is also another type of entity. The clowns.
The clowns were once survivors. We are unsure of how they acquire the masks. They wear creepy masks and wear the clothes that the survivors died with, and are unable to change their clothes. One person who managed to record them called them "forest clowns".
These entities have two different types of mask. The masks seem to control the entity as there have been sitings of the entities trying to pull them off but failing. Their behaviour is different for each mask.
Clowns There are only two types of masks, and this is thought to be based on their personality. It is thought that these clowns were once wanderers who also noclipped into the Backrooms and met their fate there. We are unsure of how they got the masks.
Their behaviour is random and not to be trusted. They sometimes are friendly and sometimes instantly attack. After review, it is decided that they are extremely dangerous, because of how they kill you. They seem to enjoy torturing you before you die. They will give you one of the most agonising deaths the Backrooms has to offer.
They carry weapons of all types, from huge axes to small knives. They have not been seen to carry firearms of any types.
The two types of mask
-Smiler Smiler stalks his prey until the very last moment. He is mostly quiet, but can be known to snap a twig when he is following you. In most circumstances, you won't know he is there until he lets out a scream from behind you. He is faster than most humans and after testing seems to not run out of energy. The only way to escape him is not alert him to your presence. From what we can tell, when you get to this level he has to see you to know you are there. If you do not alert him, you only have one clown to deal with. WARNING: IF YOU SEE HIM, IT IS THE END. DO NOT RUN.
-Wrath Like Smiler, he only chases you if alerted to his presence. But he is different. Unlike Smiler, he can be seen before he chases you. He may appear in the corner of your eye, or if you glance behind you. If you see him, he will soon be gone if you blink. He seems to be able to teleport whenever he wants. Wrath (as the name suggests) is more of a psycho and kills his targets in a more horrible way. He tries to break their mind by appearing in the corner of their eye repeatedly. He gets closer and closer with each siting until he kills you. He takes pleasure in torturing his targets, mentally and physically. He follows you until he grows bored of the mental torture and chases you until you can't run any further. He then slowly tortures you.
Weapons There is evidence of an ancient storage facility near the edge of the level. It is unreachable, as there is no way to get that far without dying. Smiler's weapons are two small one handed axes, meant for a quick slightly stealthy kill. Wrath's weapons consist of two wooden machetes. They seem harmless, but coul cut you in half easily. They are made for slowly gutting victims.
Footage Footage of this level will be released after further review. There are many tapes of this level. No wanderer has survived the entities of this level, so we are unsure of which level follows this, we only know that there is a small chance that you when you no-clip through reality you end up on this level.
AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS!
Director of Level 348 Investigators Redacted
Deputy director Redacted

So a bit of context. This is our first child and nights have sort have always been my job after the newborn phase. Except for some rougher nights, I've always handled bath and put down, and I've always loved it.
Tonight, I read her books and was walking her through the next steps like I always do. Then she started crying. Hard. I couldn't get her to calm down, and then she started crying for her momma. Well momma came in got her to calm down and go to sleep. She tried to sneak out once the little one was snoring for awhile. That didn't workout, so I tried to take over. She started screaming bloody murder for her mom again. I tried to handle it. I even gave her the small bit of melatonin we have for nights like this (strictly for emergencies). Turns out my wife already gave her some... and she told me that after she left the room by saying, "I've tried everything". So my wife takes over again and I'm in a panic about double dosing our kid.
Another 30 minutes passed and it was almost 11 at this point. I was asked to switch out and sleep next to her. I went in there and our daughter was snoring. We performed the switch and I was able to get comfortable and fall asleep myself. Around 4, my daughter woke up and finally realized it was me. She immediately got upset, crying and kicking me. I tried rocking her, getting something to drink, turning on a show with no sound. It all seemed to make it worse. If I held her, she'd hit me in the face. So I'd put her down, but then she'd try to run for our room. Which left me with no choice to pick her up again and then the cycle repeated.
I eventually caved and took her to Mom. I went and laid on the couch and started crying. This doesnt happen every night, but we have to talk her into letting me put her down for bed. She never wants me for anything anymore, unless it's literally just me and her in the house. I try to reel in my frustration but it's showing more and more with each incident like this. I feel like a shitty dad and I don't know what to do.
I haven't been able to sleep since and I just felt the need to ramble somewhere about this.

My son has been playing for a few years and has historically played attack on his club team. He is generally willing to play anywhere but like most kids, he likes to score goals and get assists. On his town team, the coaches insist he play middie because the team has real struggles bringing up the ball, and he is one of the few players on the “B” team that can do it reliably. Problem is his defensive skills are not stellar and he gets tired out with all the running. He also doesn’t have a feel for where to be on the field as a middie. As of right now, he is definitely better at attack than playing middie. Anyway, my son is still young, and the thought occurred to me that for long term skill development, playing middie may be the way to go. If you can master the skills of being a good middie, you can later specialize at attack. His club team (a rather large team) starts soon, and they ask the players what position they play, so he will need to decide whether he should go with the attack or the middies. And for the record, my son gets to decide what position he plays, not me, but he will ask me for my advice. Thoughts? Thanks in advance!

(Sentences or phrases bordered with bracket [ ] symbols indicate inner monologue!)Thank you u/SpacePaladin15 for creating this wonderful universe!
The Marching of Time
(Next)
Memory transcription subject: James Willik, Human historian
Date [standardized human time]: July 13, 2165
In my life, I’ve learned the depths to which tyrants will go to keep their power. After the war against the Federation, almost everyone had. For centuries, the Federation had lied, manipulated, stolen, murdered, done anything no matter the moral cost, to keep its citizens in its grasp, to stay in control. But they made one fatal mistake, one misstep that would loosen their hold on their slaves just long enough for someone to step in and challenge them. That mistake was angering Mankind.
When the dust had settled and the bullets had stopped flying, the UN found treasure troves of stolen knowledge all across the home-systems of the founders of the Federation, the Kolshians and Farsul. Endless libraries of atrocities done and culture stolen, of memories erased and lives destroyed. So much irreversible damage done just to keep their people locked in mental chains.
This is why early in life I decided to become a historian. I wanted to uncover and reintroduce the cultures, ideas, and truths that the Federation had wanted to burn to ash. At the age of 19, I was accepted into the then newly opened Meiers Institute of Knowledge. MIK was named after the former leader of the UN, a man who was described as compassionate and caring by nearly everyone who met him, said to be a hero. The MIK was built to let those ideas blossom forth, by providing unrestricted knowledge and education to anyone that wanted it.
During my time at MIK, because of the instruction and guidance provided by my teachers, my distrust of non-humans slowly faded. I made friends and learned things I would remember for the rest of my days. Several years later I reluctantly left the college that had become my home with a doctorate in history.
I’m now 31 years old, and several days ago I received a message from the UN Office of the Historian, stating that I and several others had been invited to the new capitol building on Aafa for a special job offering.
<<>>
As I wake, I notice how cold I feel.[Had I left the window open last night?] I think to myself. I rub my eyes and grab for my blanket, only managing to grab a handful of cloth from my shirt. I open my eyes to properly aim for the blanket this time only to witness an empty room.
No… That isn’t the correct way to describe it…This isn’t an empty room, this is the lack of a room. All around me is nothing but darkness.
I try to lift myself off my bed only to realize there is nothing beneath me. I’m the only matter that I can see in this void.
[What the fuck. What the fuck!?]
I begin panicking as my brain fully switches on, only now am I fully awake and aware of my situation. I flail my limbs around, trying to turn myself around to no avail as I float through the emptiness. I try to take in a breath only to inhale nothing. Vivid memories of nearly drowning at a vacation by the beach fill my mind. The space in my brain is packed full of questions by now.
[Wha- what the hell is happening? Where’s the air? How am I alive? Is this a dream?]
I begin calming down, wildly flailing my arms and legs is going to do nothing for me. A glow begins illuminating the backside of my arms, heating them like warm sunlight. I try to turn around, somehow managing to do so this time.
Light sears itself into my very soul as I stare forward at the object before me. I am seated at the edge of a star, its radiance beaming itself onto me as if it is some divine judge weighing the sins of my heart. Tendrils of superheated plasma ripple around it, like arms through water, effortlessly keeping the orb afloat.
A thunderous whisper echoes through the twisting and winding corridors of my mind. Paradoxically seeming both deafening and silent simultaneously. It is in a language I have never heard before and yet I understand the message all the same.
“Find us. We await.”
<<>>
For the second time today, I wake up. This time I am in my warm bed in my home on Venlil Prime. The memory of the star does not fade away, as the imagery in my dreams usually do.
I stretch and drag my legs off the side of the bed, acclimating my eyes to the ever-present twilight of the Venlil homeworld. I grab a picture frame holding an old photo of me and my parents off my bedside table. Their smiles warming me slightly. I hug the picture-frame into my chest. It’s been 3 years but I still miss them every day. “I wish you were still here, so much. I hope I made you proud.”
I perform my daily routine and get myself tidy before putting on my clothes. Today is the day that the UN is sending a ship to pick me up. I've gotta look my best if I’m gonna be meeting such important people. I walk through the main hallway of my house, glancing at the art adorning the walls as I pass by. Ever since the knowledge that the Federation has been performing cultural genocide for centuries became public, the market for historians and other professions tasked with discovering the past sky-rocketed. Despite the high pay though, my house was relatively small. A bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room, and some various utility and storage rooms was all I needed. I didn’t need a fancy living-space, that wasn’t what made me happy. What made me happy was the work I was doing for the people of the Coalition. Bringing back art and stories from ancient times, reintroducing species to a past and culture that they could be proud of. THAT was what fueled me.
I looked at my holopad and realized I only had 15 minutes before my ship arrived at the spaceport. I hurriedly filled a reusable cup with coffee and rushed out the door, no time for breakfast. I hopped in my car, buckled my seatbelt, turned my key, and backed out of the driveway onto the street, speeding down the road as fast as the anti-grav engine in my car would allow me. There is no way I’m missing an opportunity like this.
As I drove, the spaceport came into view. It towered above all the buildings surrounding it, making them seem miniscule in comparison. Ships swarmed around the structure like bees around a hive, loading and unloading cargo and passengers alike.
5 minutes.
I drew into a parking space in the underground garage. Removing my key and deactivating my vehicle. I slammed the door shut perhaps a little too hard and locked the doors with my keyfob as I sprinted towards the elevators to the top of the port. It took the lift around 50 seconds to travel nearly 300 stories into the sky. I bolted out of the barely opened doors, startling a Venlil couple and nearly knocking over an older looking man wearing a suit. I blurted out an apology and quickly said I was late before dashing off, the man looking more confused than annoyed.
I took a quick look at my holopad. 2 minutes. As I ran, I glanced at the signage on the walls. 587 588 589 560! I made my way into the hangar, straightening out my tie as I walked through the doors. I tried to hide how out of breath I was, these suits were not made for running. The ship was sleek and quite large, undoubtedly suited for luxury purposes, the UN did not spare any expense for its guests it seemed.
I walked up the boarding ramp and as the airlock opened, a man stood there to greet me. He was an older gentleman, slightly taller than me. He smiled and outstretched his hand. “Hello, I take it that you’re James! The ship is ready for you to depart. My name is Harold and I’ll be your attendant for the flight. ”He spoke enthusiastically with a southern drawl. I grasped the man’s hand and shook it. “I hope I didn’t take too long to arrive.” “Don’t worry son, you’re fine. It’ll take a couple days to reach Aafa so make yourself comfortable, down the hall behind me is the bar, lounge, and eating area, and further down are the sleeping quarters with accompanying bathrooms. ”Before I could respond, Harold spoke again. “There’ll be another passenger onboard, allow me to take you to them.”
The man stepped aside and followed as I walked down the hall to the lounge. The room was quite large, filled with expensive looking furniture and art. To my right was a small dining table and beyond that a kitchen. I looked to my left and felt my heart skip a beat as I locked eyes with a small Venlil with speckled white wool and orange eyes. She stared back, looking equally shocked.
“Lemva?”
(Next)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________This is my first time posting on here, any advice on story-presentation or formatting is welcome!