Hey, so.. this is gonna sound pretty out there. But I can't be the only one doing this.
For most of my life, I've had this weird uncontrolled habit of making deals or bets with hypothetical "demons" or monsters or aliens whenever I do any simple task (an example could be "i have to reach and step onto the carpet in my bedroom while walking from the hardwood of my hallway before/by a certain point/drop in a song I'm listening to in the moment, or else the demons can/will get me"). It happens every single day without fail, pretty much always multiple times a day, many of them in succession. Just quick, in the moment bets.
To make an important point clear, I do not see or hear any demons or monsters or anything at all for that matter. I don't even fully believe in ghosts or paranormal things, it's just a sort of "maybe, what if" situation. But this isn't an issue with hallucinations. It's just something I do with the "hypothetical" demons or monsters in my house, or in whatever place I'm in at the time (it happens most often at home though). It is something that if I don't fulfill I feel a bit on edge for a moment, as if the bet held any weight, but that quickly goes away as my rational brain takes over.
I did have what my family and even I considered "paranormal experiences" growing up, and as a child (like from the age of 5/6 to middle school) had chronic nightmares and a couple cases of sleep paralysis. I also do have trauma from abuse and such, if that adds any helpful context. Even so, it's something I could never find anything about online.
Am I crazy? Is there something wrong with me? I do have diagnosed depression since middle school and it's highly likely I have moderate to severe ADHD (I am seeking help and working to get diagnosed and treated, whatever it may be). I guess I can be considered a bit of a paranoid person as well. Such a thing is just so normal to me that I never think twice about it. Until now, that is. I feel like this is just ridiculous. Any thoughts?
EDIT to add: I just suddenly realized there is a possibility I'm mistaking the chance of ADHD for the chance of OCD. I do tend to have repetitive behaviors, skin-picking/scratching and paranoia, the main repetitive behavior being that I have to constantly jerk my arms and thighs away from myself because I can't stand the feeling of my skin touching each other(?) which is ridiculous I know. I've walked like an idiot for most of my life without realizing. Again, nothing definitive and I'm starting to seek help regardless. Just a thought I never considered.

Free media mail shipping on orders over $50 and half off shipping for all figures shipping (US shipping only for both). I'm also VERY willing to negotiate on larger orders (especially figures), so please don't hesitate to ask or make an offer!
Prices do not include shipping. I am VERY willing to negotiate on price for the figures. If you're interested, please let me know regardless of my asking price and we can discuss it. Figure prices are based on ebay and not in-depth research, so they aren't firm by any means.
These items were kept in a smoke-free, pet-friendly environment. Please ask if you have specific questions or would like additional pictures. I prefer not to split, but I may be willing on a case-by-case basis.
I'm almost to my financial goal so I can move across the country! I appreciate you helping me get there!
​
Manga
11th Cat 1-5 (complete) - $25 https://imgur.com/a/Ke6OGIo
Ai Yori Aoshi 1-7 - $35 https://imgur.com/a/N6IoXaq
Alice & Zoroku 1-2 - $13 https://imgur.com/a/VyWAXdQ
Angel Diary 1-2 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/RxWPQrw
Baccano 1 (light novel, hardback) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/TNU4jwA
Bakuman 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/a4aTYpm
Battle Rabbits 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/a4aTYpm
Beauty and the Feast 1 - $7 https://imgur.com/a/a4aTYpm
Black Butler 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/nvyV1Ns
Blue Period 1-4 - $28 https://imgur.com/a/VQnUeML
Bottom-Tier Character Tomozaki 1 (light novel) - $7 https://imgur.com/a/dBySQM0
Bungo Stray Dogs 1-2 - $14 https://imgur.com/a/UKHMA1x
Bus Gamer (standalone) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/AF0N5iJ
Cantarella 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/0X7zrGX
Clockwork Planet 1 (light novel) - $7 https://imgur.com/a/xxDlkm7
Conditions of Paradise, The (standalone) - $7 https://imgur.com/a/vQdMODO
Culdcept 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/bn938Sc
Days of Love at Seagull Villa 1-3 (complete) - $21 https://imgur.com/a/E4gDYNJ
Demonizer Zilch 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/wgGBO0X
Descendants of Darkness 1-3 - $15 https://imgur.com/a/OiS24qq
Di Gi Charat 1-4 (complete) - $20 https://imgur.com/a/2dUC1xD
Dictatorial Grimoire (standalone omnibus) - $13 https://imgur.com/a/OTkWz9R
Dimension W 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/BOznjTX
Dororo: The Omnibus Edition (standalone) - $15 https://imgur.com/a/B3uBOFV
Dragon Knights 1-7 - $35 https://imgur.com/a/fDYhHU5
Dragonar Academy 1-2 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/XcSD3j3
Fairy Tale Battle Royale 1-4 - $24 https://imgur.com/a/y2Zd6gW
Fall in Love Like a Comic 1-2 (complete) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/zTJmZVj
Fiance of the Wizard 1 - $6 https://imgur.com/a/riFTHhg
Four-Eyed Prince 1-3 - $15 https://imgur.com/a/UYNwKmw
Free Collars Kingdom 1-3 (complete) - $15 https://imgur.com/a/bgEeeio
Frieren: Beyond Jounrey's End 1 - $6 https://imgur.com/a/FpxoWzt
Fruits Basket omnibus 1-4, 9-10 - $72 https://imgur.com/a/E4SmjpL
Galaxy Angel 1-3 - $15 https://imgur.com/a/IgfaAP6
Galaxy Angel Beta 1-2 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/dInlUT0
Genkaku Picasso - $15 https://imgur.com/a/oahQK7s
Goblin Slayer Side Story: Year One 1-2 (light novel) - $15 https://imgur.com/a/2g9gRwa
Gravitation: Voice of Temptation (light novel, Gravitation side story) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/GDeeIj9
Gunparade March 1-3 (complete) + Last Dance Gunparade - $20 https://imgur.com/a/YH9OyER
Higurashi When They Cry 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/KMkFlDB
Hot Gimmick 1-4 omnibus editions + Hot Gimmick S (complete) - $45 https://imgur.com/a/fUfA48Y
I O N (standalone) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/VOGxAFw
Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon 1-3 (light novel) (volumes 4-5 in pictures have been sold) - $21 https://imgur.com/a/RHekce2
Isolator, The 1 (hardback, light novel) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/ZqcquPQ
Junk 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/wCuY8lz
Kare First Love 1-2 - $10https://imgur.com/a/riFTHhg
Kare Kano 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/qNDEpfx
Kashimashi 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/omQMbbT
Kilala Princess 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/YrYh1A0
KonKon Kokon 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/ed2EpQo
Kujibiki Unbalance 1-2 (complete) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/UC17mXN
Lagoon Engine Einsatz (standalone) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/45Rieuw
Le Chevalier d'Eon 1-2 - $15 https://imgur.com/a/qL5sf8r
Little Witch Academia: The Nonsensical Witch and the Country of the Fairies (light novel) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/GYitYVX
Loner Life in Another World - (light novel) $7 https://imgur.com/a/GDeeIj9
Love Master A 1-2 (complete) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/XeBLF6n
Love Roma 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/IpSsafb
Loveholic 1-2 (complete) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/yrZNTK7
Loveless 1-4 (two 2-in-1 omnnibuses) - $17 https://imgur.com/a/h5Qy7WK
Maga-Tsuki 1-2 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/N4K6183
Magia the Ninth 1-2 (complete) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/nRBybq2
Mamotte Shugogetten 1 - $6 https://imgur.com/a/mdxoGzY
Mayo Chiki 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/gASgqrH
Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, The 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/YTsrVBX
Milky Way Hitchhiking 1-2 (vol 3 was never released, so complete-ish?) - $35 https://imgur.com/a/0jeHi0h
Monster Girl Doctor 1 (light novel) - $7 https://imgur.com/a/ZqcquPQ
My Androgynous Boyfriend 1 - $7 https://imgur.com/a/vyrkiDf
My Little Monster 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/I5SolSm
My-Hime 1-5 (complete) - $25 https://imgur.com/a/rNjIhoK
Nana 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/I5SolSm
Negima 1-20 + Negiho - $95 https://imgur.com/a/DfXlBW6
Nirvana 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/omQMbbT
Nosatsu Junkie 1-4 - $20 https://imgur.com/a/pBx6FMx
Now Loading (standalone) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/vyrkiDf
Nurse Hitomi's Monster Infirmary 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/ed2EpQo
Occultic;Nine 1 (light novel) - $7 https://imgur.com/a/ZqcquPQ
One Fine Day 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/DBLgaJm
Otome Mania 1-2 (complete) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/AI375f5
Ouran High School Host Club 1-11 - $55 https://imgur.com/a/wlF3JE5
Pandora in the Crimson Shell 1 - $6 https://imgur.com/a/omQMbbT
Penguin Revolution 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/lnpu6q7
PHD: Phantasy Degree - $5 https://imgur.com/a/chcr1Im
Pokemon The Rise of Darkrai - $5 https://imgur.com/a/bgWQiWK
Psychic Academy 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/omQMbbT
Punch 1-3 (complete) - $15https://imgur.com/a/08Rkj15
Re:Zero 1 (manga) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/Il2rTuz
Re:Zero 1-2 (light novel) (volume 2 from pictures has been sold) - $21 https://imgur.com/a/MZHiU5n
RG Veda 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/qL5sf8r
Rising of the Shield Hero, The 1 (manga) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/Il2rTuz
Saint Young Men 1-6 (hardbacks) - $80 https://imgur.com/a/l3d7gOt
Saiyuki Reload 1-9 (complete in US publication, heavy sun-fading and damage) - $25 https://imgur.com/a/mqLOGUs
Sakura Hime 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/OqzMOjn
Samurai Deeper Kyo 1-9 - $45 https://imgur.com/a/jghft6x
Samurai Girl Real Bout High School 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/98JIhAy
Satan's Secretary 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/KDvRsgO
Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei 1 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/GYitYVX
School Judgement 1-3 (complete) - $15 https://imgur.com/a/GzqWCCf
Secret Sakura Shares, The (standalone) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/pfTfI9f
Secretly I've Been Suffering About Being Sexless (standalone) - $8 https://imgur.com/a/DBLgaJm
Servant X Service 1 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/pfTfI9f
SGT Frog 1-7, 11, 16, 19 - $50 (volumes 20-21 have been sold) https://imgur.com/a/r99bGkp
Shugo Chara 1-4, 7 - $28 https://imgur.com/a/QfUsIfU
Slumbering Beauty 1-2 (complete) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/qox5eZn
Songs To Make You Smile (standalone) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/DBLgaJm
Species Domain 1-7 - $50 https://imgur.com/a/R92fng9
Spirit Circle 1 - $6 https://imgur.com/a/wDCptpP
Stupid Love Comedy (standalone) - $13 https://imgur.com/a/xi1Wyf7
Sugar Sugar Rune 1 - $20 https://imgur.com/a/qL5sf8r
Suzuka 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/xi1Wyf7
Tale of an Unknown Country, A 1-2 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/AI375f5
There's a Demon Lord on the Floor 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/vyrkiDf
Threads of Time 1-11 (complete) - $55 https://imgur.com/a/7G8dWeu
Tokyo Boys &; Girls 1-3 - $15 https://imgur.com/a/l7dFWUd
Ultra Kaiju 1-2 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/GYitYVX
Ultra Maniac 1 - $4 https://imgur.com/a/Ev1F9PM
Unmagical Girl 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/DBLgaJm
Vampire Game 1-15 (complete) - $70 https://imgur.com/a/6Rskl12
Vampire Knight 1-4 - $20 https://imgur.com/a/AvwkuaH
Versailles of the Dead 1-2 - $12 https://imgur.com/a/xrvEAAs
Voices of a Distant Star, The (standalone) - $5 https://imgur.com/a/GDeeIj9
Wallflower, The 1-10, 13, 16, 19 - $52 - (volumes 11,12,and 18 from the pictures have been sold) Part 1 https://imgur.com/a/t7qKOWx Part 2 https://imgur.com/a/TDqwDzR
Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina 1-2 - $12 https://imgur.com/a/aL5EgKw
What's Michael? Fatcat Collection 1-2 (complete) - $20 https://imgur.com/a/B3uBOFV
Whispered Words 1-3 (complete) - $30 https://imgur.com/a/nRjh4UG
Witch Buster 1-2 omnibus - $8 https://imgur.com/a/U8y4ItZ
Wild Ones 1 - $5 https://imgur.com/a/comGEdA
Witch's Printing House, A 1 - $8 https://imgur.com/a/xi1Wyf7
World of Narue 1-2 - $10 https://imgur.com/a/aL5EgKw
​
Misc. Books
Nendoroid - My First Doll: Clothing Patterns - $20 https://imgur.com/a/yIlVI2d
Start with 12 Colors The First Copic Color illustration Book - $10 (the coloring pages have been removed from the book, but they are included and uncolored; one has a wrinkled corner) https://imgur.com/a/K9YEtKY
​
Anime
Cowboy Bebop Remix DVD + Cowboy Bebop Movie DVD - $10 https://imgur.com/a/CQeHpI8
Final Fantasy Advent Children Complete BD - $5 https://imgur.com/a/CQeHpI8
​
Nendoroids
Dramatical Murder Clear 597 - $105 https://imgur.com/a/cvVIo4F
Durara!! x2 Celty 513 - $75 https://imgur.com/a/cvVIo4F
Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask Link 553 - $65 https://imgur.com/a/jCbd7az
​
Play Arts Kai (Final Fantasy VII Advent Children)
Arms - $70 https://imgur.com/a/2mbvOqp
Barret - $100 https://imgur.com/a/TBGdvJx
Cloud - $150 https://imgur.com/a/7dQ4PTT
Red XIII (glue on side of box has dried, causing it to open; tape is still in place) - $110 https://imgur.com/a/r2zwQKj
Tifa - $250 https://imgur.com/a/hPt8Not
Sephiroth - $130 https://imgur.com/a/q44KxW2
Vincent - $175 https://imgur.com/a/KNnzjc1
​
Misc Figures
Code Geass Lelouche Lamperouge Code Black 1st Life Encore ver (Kotobukiya) - $120 https://imgur.com/a/z4HVlnx
Code Geass Lelouche Lamperouge/Zero/Kururugi Suzaku 10th Anniversary (Megahouse) - $200 https://imgur.com/a/rhKYnpB
Dragon's Crown Elf Another Color Version (Megahouse) - $130 https://imgur.com/a/O8aInUv
Final Fantasy Master Arms Seifer's Gunblade (Square Enix) - $35 https://imgur.com/a/YGkfxBy
Hyakka Ryouran Tokugawa Sen (Alter) - $75 https://imgur.com/a/3gc2fBB
Hyakka Ryouran Tokugawa Sen Sadistic Succubus Ver. (Alter) - $105 https://imgur.com/a/KXWUCH7
Hyakka Ryouran Yagyu Jubei (Megahouse) - $100 https://imgur.com/a/49ZpBn2
Kingdom Hearts II Sora Static Arts Gallery - $100 https://imgur.com/a/TVG2lF8
Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess Ganandorf (Dark Horse/Together+) - $250 https://imgur.com/a/otRy1NN
Neon Genesis Evangelion Makinami Mari Illustrious (Max Factory) - $175 https://imgur.com/a/4Yhr9YI
Rail Wars Aoi Sakura - $125 https://imgur.com/a/7FtyAUd
Senki Zesshou Symphogear GX Kazanari Tsubasa Ame no Habakiri (Bell Fine) - $150 https://imgur.com/a/kEyTyTU
Senki Zesshou Symphogear GX Yukine Chris - Ichaival Ver. (Bell Fine) - $130 https://imgur.com/a/b9rAzQX
Ultra Kaiju Guts Seijin (Surprise Next) - $170 https://imgur.com/a/GWtNu4B
​
Plush (missing tags; I might still have them though, so I will include them if I find them)
Kemono Friends Iwatobi Penguin Mega Jumbo Nesoberi - $10 https://imgur.com/a/VC9zgGl
Pokemon Eevee (Banpresto) - $10 https://imgur.com/a/bRFsR6s

I watched a few of the episodes on the YouTube channel, but they're all out of order!! And so short 😭 Are they actually so short? Is there a list anywhere for the watching order?

Bad Dragon toys are all made of the highest quality silicone! So watch out when storing them next to toys that aren’t the same grade silicone! Companies can label any grade silicone as medical grade but that doesn’t mean they won’t hurt your Bad Dragon brand toys! Avoid PVC, Jelly, and Rubber sex toys! Especially don’t store them touching your Bad Dragons!
So you want to buy your first Bad Dragon? Go for it! They may be expensive but you pay for quality! Even if you’re not super into knots, tentacles, or monster size dildos they have more humanoid models: Archer (Uncut), Archer, John, Pierce, etc! They run large so please check the measurements before you buy! My first Bad Dragon toys were a M/M Sveinn and a M/M Demon Dick! I made the mistake of only using the photo for reference!
When it comes to buying you’re typically going to buy from the inventory, you can browse the models on their home page or using the “shop now” button. When browsing the models you can click on any of the toys and come across a sizing chart and a photo reference! Once you’ve decided on what you are looking for go ahead and click on the inventory! It’s gonna be organized by price “low to high” by default but you can decide to sort it by “A-Z” “Z-A” “Size: Small to Large” “Size: Large to Small” or even by the date it was added to the inventory! If you’re looking to save some money I suggest going to the filter option and looking for “flop” toys! These toys will still be body safe but may have minor imperfections! Small nicks and pigment inclusions can take a toy that’s $115 and bring it down to $98! They won’t always be super discounted but you never know when you’ll find the toy of your dreams!
If none of the toys in the inventory are the exact color or size you’re wanting customs are open the first Friday of every month! It might cost you a little more if you’re wanting a fade or marble (fades not supported on mini toys as well as some custom colors)
This is all of course after you’ve decided on what model will fit your needs!
For humanoid toy lovers who know what they like and want to stick to it I recommend Archer (Uncut) in Mini/Small for those without a size kink! I own a M/M and even with my raging size kink it is a beast to concur!
Side note: when taking bigger toys (even vaginally) you’re going to want to use a lot of water based lube! Bad Dragon toys are no joke! I definitely recommend their cum lube as it is designed with their toys in mind (now in clear as well if cum color isn’t doing it for you) another lube I recommend is KY jelly! It’s a classic for a reason!
If a tentacle is something you’re curious about I recommend Ika for both Anal and Vaginal! It’s got a nice tapeswell that isn’t too overwhelming for a beginner or a seasoned pro! Even using my size L/M I find it’s not dauntingly thick! Tako is a very underrated model as well! Especially since it can double as a grinder for external stimulation at the drop of a hat! I also own a S/M Pretzal which is great as well but isn’t a frequent in my rotation!
If you were Team Jacob in your Twilight phase knots might be for you! If your ao3 history heavily features omegaverse fics…I’m gonna say you’ll enjoy a knot! Bad Dragon has a wide variety of these, but my top two are gonna be Diego and Nova! I love the model Diego so much I own a S/M and a M/M! Vaginally both these toys are in my top ten! Anally I recommend Razor, his tip is slightly curved with makes for easier insertion (with the added bonus of prostate stimulation for those with prostates)
I save a cowboy…ride a horse! If equestrian cocks are your cup of tea you’re in the right place! Personally I recommend Bumblehooves for a beginner, and Slepnir if you’re here for girth like me! Something about the way their slightly larger heads pop in is really satisfying vaginally! Anally I recommend Mystic! Or if you’re not quite sold on the whole ‘save a cowboy, ride a horse’ bit!
If you were weirdly attracted to the dementors when you first watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban….or maybe you found yourself drawn to the Xindi (Maybe you like villains idk) If that’s true then you’re probably looking for something more demonic or alien in nature! You’ve come to the right place! I’d say there are probably more options in this category! However, I recommend the classic Demon Dick for both Vaginal and Anal! Anally if you’re looking for Prostate stimulation I’ll give Kelvin a good shoutout! He’s so curved he’s gonna pinpoint any g-spot you have!
Now I must warn you about the toys I DO NOT recommend to a beginner! If you’re a a pro go ahead and buy them! Whatever you wanna do! However, if size is an issue for you I don’t recommend Baron, Flint, Lenneth, or Fenrir! Even in size mini Fenrir, Flint, and Baron are quite large!
What size and firmness should I get? Hmmm that’s a hard question to answer! Personally I don’t recommend Firm Firmness, there is just less give! Especially if it’s a larger model! My go to method is the wider it is, the softer you’ll want it! A thin soft toy is almost as useless as a XL firm toy! Toys come in Soft, Medium, and Firm! You can also do split firmess when making a custom toy to help it stand better! A long but softer toy won’t stand as well on its own and may lean! Suction cups and firmer bases make these easier to use!
You can also purchase toys with cum tubes which will simulate ejaculation! These toys can be fun but are especially hard to clean! I’ve owned two toys with cum tubes and both times the tube has molded! It is a feature that is erotic but risky! My main issue is making sure the toy and the tube are dry! Buy at your own risk!
YOU MUST CLEAN YOUR TOYS!!!
You don’t want bacteria on your sex toys! Especially expensive, pretty ones! Now if you live with parents/roommates it isn’t life or death if you don’t wash them after every use! However, I don’t recommend waiting more than two days! My routine is I wash each toy before and after use, with swarm water and a gentle soap! Then on a bi-monthly basis I deep clean all my toys and the containers I store them in! You can sanitize your Bad Dragon toys in a dishwasher, or soak them in a 10% bleach solution! I recommend washing them with soap AFTER you soak them…
LET YOUR TOYS DRY BEFORE PUTTING THEM AWAY!!!
I store all my sex toys including my Bad Dragon toys in fabric storage bins, and a small chest with soft lined drawers meant for jewelry or lingerie! Besides the soft bins/drawers I also keep all my toys in drawstring bags! Most are in sheer bags or smaller toys are in Crown Royal bags! Bad Dragon sells their own storage bags! They are your safest choice!
Thanks for reading! Hope I covered everything…

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $1867

★ Butterfly Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $1098

★ Butterfly Knife Blue Steel BS, B/O: $907

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $789

★ Butterfly Knife Stained FT, B/O: $695

⎯

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $888

★ Bayonet Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $727

★ Bayonet Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $608

★ Bayonet Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $521

★ Bayonet Rust Coat BS, B/O: $253

★ Bayonet Night FT, B/O: $251

★ StatTrak™ Bayonet Lore MW, B/O: $751

⎯

★ Karambit Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $1343

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $774

★ Karambit Rust Coat BS, B/O: $537

★ Karambit Boreal Forest FT, B/O: $488

⎯

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1523

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1523

★ M9 Bayonet Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $1008

★ M9 Bayonet Blue Steel FT, B/O: $534

★ M9 Bayonet Rust Coat BS, B/O: $449

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★ Flip Knife Fade FN, B/O: $703

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $509

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $406

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $228

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $332

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★ Falchion Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $292

★ Falchion Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $264

★ Falchion Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $258

★ Falchion Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $133

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Fade FN, B/O: $822

★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $569

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $530

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $396

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $172

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★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $830

★ Gut Knife Fade FN, B/O: $204

★ Gut Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $138

★ Gut Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $104

★ Gut Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $92

★ Gut Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $82

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $93

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★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $258

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $165

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel FT, B/O: $82

★ Shadow Daggers Bright Water FT, B/O: $82

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel WW, B/O: $80

★ Shadow Daggers Rust Coat BS, B/O: $74

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade FN, B/O: $186

⎯

★ Classic Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $311

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $163

⎯

★ Talon Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $605

★ Talon Knife Scorched MW, B/O: $290

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $405

★ Ursus Knife Night Stripe MW, B/O: $162

⎯

★ Paracord Knife Stained WW, B/O: $125

★ Paracord Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

★ Paracord Knife Safari Mesh FT, B/O: $96

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Safari Mesh FT, B/O: $71

★ Navaja Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $71

⎯

★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1015

★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $909

★ Bowie Knife Boreal Forest MW, B/O: $106

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $335

★ Driver Gloves King Snake BS, B/O: $270

★ Driver Gloves Lunar Weave WW, B/O: $113

★ Driver Gloves Overtake WW, B/O: $88

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $67

⎯

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $171

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $137

★ Moto Gloves Transport WW, B/O: $71

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $62

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1027

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $654

★ Specialist Gloves Mogul FT, B/O: $295

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $277

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web FT, B/O: $275

⎯

★ Sport Gloves Slingshot FT, B/O: $796

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $699

★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $656

⎯

★ Broken Fang Gloves Unhinged BS, B/O: $60

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

⎯

AWP Fade FN, B/O: $864

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $84

AWP Containment Breach FT, B/O: $69

AWP Containment Breach FT, B/O: $69

AWP Wildfire FT, B/O: $59

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $59

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $65

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $65

⎯

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $565

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $565

Desert Eagle Printstream FN, B/O: $155

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $58

⎯

M4A1-S Icarus Fell FN, B/O: $414

M4A1-S Printstream MW, B/O: $204

M4A1-S Printstream MW, B/O: $204

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M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1402

M4A4 The Emperor FN, B/O: $152

M4A4 Asiimov WW, B/O: $97

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USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $65

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $123

StatTrak™ USP-S Neo-Noir FN, B/O: $106

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AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $218

P2000 Ocean Foam FN, B/O: $139

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike MW, B/O: $81

CZ75-Auto Emerald Quartz MW, B/O: $61

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

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So I’ve been really into “abnormal” and “weird” dolls like Monster High dolls, Novi Stars, Bratzillaz, and Lalaloopsy dolls. I’m also into Ever After High dolls, Bratz, and My Scene dolls. They’re pretty nice and all but I’m getting kind of bored of the same stuff over and over. I still love all those brands but I want something fresh. I spend hours looking into all those lines and series but I’m kinda tired of the same stuff over and over. I was wondering if anyone could recommend some doll lines that are somewhat similashare similarities with those lines that I mentioned before. I’d love some recommendations from you all :)

I live in a modest house right on the edge of a large forest in Arkansas. I live with my wife and a German shepherd named Kaiser who is a retired police dog. I'm an active police officer and he was formerly my partner in the field. Since retiring and coming home to my family, he's always been quite the paranoid dog. Often, he would wake up in the middle of the night and walk to the back door, and growl at something. We live in a pretty rural area, so I would always check to make sure there wasn't a problem.
On some nights, he would remain on guard at the back door all night. He would never walk out, though. Even if I gestured for him to come outside with me to check if there was anybody outside, he would refuse and appear concerned. Once morning came, he was back to normal as if nothing was bothering him. But over time, his behavior began to change. He less frequently wanted to sleep in the bed with my wife and me and he stopped getting the zoomies altogether. We took him to the vet and she said he was likely experiencing depression.
The vet recommended a few things that we started doing to help Kaiser. I'm a member of the bomb squad and Kaiser was a bomb-sniffing dog. So, every once in a while, I'd hide a decoy in the house and order him to find it. I would also exercise him more. My wife and I are active runners and we started taking him with us. Both of these things seemed to make him much happier, but it still didn't solve the issue of him laying at the back door every night.
I decided to install another security camera that would look directly at the back porch and I started leaving the back porch light on each night to see if I could catch anything. The first few weeks saw no activity. Kaiser would still do his routine, but there was never anything outside. That was until one cold and snowy night in January. It was eleven at night and I hadn't gone to sleep yet. I had my laptop open on the counter with the live feed of the back porch camera on. Weirdly, I noticed a dog appear behind my house and lay down below the steps up to the porch. The camera feed was fuzzy, so I couldn't make out the breed, but I could tell it wasn't a small dog.
I called my wife down the come look at it. "What the hell is some random dog coming to sleep under our porch for?" she said.
"I'm not sure, but this has to be why Kaiser's been acting so weird."
"Are you gonna go out there?"
"Probably not, I'm not sure if he's friendly. I'll give it a few days and see if he comes back." I looked back at Kaiser and he was standing at attention with his ears perked up. I reassured him everything was okay and tried to get him to come upstairs with my wife and me, but he still would leave the back door.
Unsurprisingly, as the next night came, the dog returned. Then the next night, he returned. Finally, when he returned the fourth time in a row, I decided I'd go out to check on him. Not knowing if he was friendly, I got the handgun and flashlight from my nightstand and kissed my wife.
"Get ready to call animal control if he turns out not to be friendly," I said.
"You're taking the gun with you, is that even gonna be necessary?"
"This is my last resort, the last thing I wanna do is shoot a dog."
Once again, Kaiser refused to come outside with me. I could hear the rustling from under the porch when the dog heard me step onto the porch. I left the door cracked just in case Kaiser wanted to walk out with me. I called the dog a few times but he didn't come out. I could hear him moving, but I couldn't hear any clanging from key chains on a collar.
After a few minutes of trying to call the dog out, I walked down to the grass and try to look under the porch. I shined the flashlight under the porch and saw him laying down as far back as he could. He appeared to be an English mastiff, but he was quite dirty. I tried calling him out but he stayed still staring at me. I went inside and got some of Kaiser's food. Surprisingly, he came out when I offered it to him. Once I stepped back away from the bowl, he began to eat.
As I looked closer at him, I noticed quite a few scars and bruises on him. This dog was trying to get away from an abuser. But where could he be coming from? I know all of my neighbors and their dogs and none of them are English mastiffs. I decided to would just try to take care of this dog for now. Once he was finished eating the food I offered him, he went back to laying down under the porch and I took the bowl back inside.
I kept watching the camera feed for about an hour before I went to bed and he never walked out from under the porch. I went under the porch on the morning after and the dog wasn't there. My wife and I decided to name him Buck for the time being until we figured out his real name and who owned him.
This continued for a few nights. I'd bring him some food, he'd come out from the porch just to eat, I'd go back inside, and he'd be gone by the morning. My wife recommended calling animal control to get him out, but I decided not to since he wasn't causing any problems.
After about a week, Buck let me sit next to him while he was eating. He was a bit skittish when I tried to pet him, but he allowed it. But then something even more strange happened the night after that. Buck brought a friend. A blond lab that my wife and I named Charlie. Charlie also had scars and bruises. Weirdly, Kaiser decided to come out with me this time and greet Buck and Charlie. I tried to get Buck and Charlie to come inside so they didn't have to sleep in the cold, but they refused.
My concern was growing high at this point. I knew these dogs were getting abused and that infuriated me. But they refuse to come into my house and would always go back to wherever they were coming from. So, I decided instead of trying to keep them at my house, I'd follow them to whatever they considered home. The next night, I put on my police gear, grabbed my shotgun and flashlight, and waited for the dogs to walk away. When they finally left, around two in the morning, I quickly followed, as did Kaiser.
I kept my phone on me with GPS location turned on so I wouldn't get lost. I searched through the forest for about an hour with no sign of anything. Kaiser was constantly on alert. I knew he was stressed, but he'd been through a lot in his life already, so I knew he was confident. After an hour and about a mile away from the house, I noticed a faint light through the trees.
I kept Kaiser close while we made our way closer to the light. It seemed to get dimmer the closer we got. When we finally reached the location, the light was already out. What we came across looked like a sinkhole with some sort of cave-like opening and an artificial path so you could walk in and out of the hole.
Despite my better judgment, I walk down the path into the sinkhole, Kaiser following skittishly behind me. I shined my flashlight all around the bottom and noticed there was something buried under a pile of leaves. Kaiser started smelling around and he went digging through the leaves. To my horror, he found Charlie nearly dead. He appeared to still be breathing, but he had a huge gash cutting across his torso. I wanted to do something, but it looked far too bad to be helped. Kaiser was whining and looked back at me, his ears plopping down. Rest in peace, Charlie.
I couldn't let whoever was doing this continue. Kaiser didn't want to leave Charlie, but I had to keep him near me so it didn't happen to him, too. We began walking into the cave. My flashlight was still the only light. The smell in this cave was beyond bad. I know what a dead body smells like, and this was far worse.
I began to hear sounds coming from the cave. Kaiser was starting to get more tense, as was I. As we got further down, I could start to make out the noises more clearly. Dogs were whining and barking. The cave started to take shape and look more like a dungeon. I reached the end. There were tons of cages with multiple dogs in each cage. As I walked through, all the dogs turned to me. I couldn't imagine what kind of sick freak would be doing this.
A loud, blood-curdling scream came from the end of a hallway. All the dogs stopped barking, just quietly whimpering. I shined the flashlight in the direction of the scream. It didn't sound human. I walked down, ready to shoot a freak. I turned the corner, and what I saw sent me into a living nightmare. It screamed again, almost deafening me. I shot.
My ears were ringing. I could faintly hear the dog begin barking again. I look behind me and Kaiser is standing, ready to receive an order. I give him the word to attack. I gather my bearings before calling Kaiser back. It was dead. It looked like some demented feline monster. Its ears were cut up, its face was mangled, and its teeth were gnarly.
It was about the size of a large dog, like a dingo or Great Dane, and hairless. But why and how could a creature like this organize a doggy dungeon like this? That was a question I didn't really want to know the answer to. All I knew was I had a bunch of dogs to rescue and get home.
I never found Buck, but I decided to bury Charlie in my backyard. If anybody would like to adopt a rescue and you live in Arkansas, I have plenty that are in desperate need of a home.

Cover Art!
Just because you’re transported to another world, doesn’t mean you’ll escape from your pain.
Abused by her parents, thirteen-year-old Frances only wants to be safe and for her life not to hurt so much. And when she and her class are transported to the magical world of Durannon to fight the monsters invading the human kingdoms and defeat the self-titled Demon King, Frances is presented with a golden opportunity. If she succeeds, Frances will have the home she never had. If she fails, Frances will be summoned back to the home she escaped.
Yet, despite her newfound magic and friends, Frances finds that trauma is not so easily lost. She is dogged by her abuse and its physical and invisible scars. Not only does she have to learn magic, she has to survive the nightmares of her past, and wrestle with her feelings of doubt and self-loathing.
If she can heal from her trauma, though, she might be able to defeat the Demon King and maybe, just maybe, she can find a home for herself.
Teaser: Martin and Ginger are thrust into an unenviable role.
[The Beginning] [<=Chapter 182 part 2] [Chapter Index and Blurb] [Chapter 184 on April 5 or now on patreon ]
The Fractured Song Index
Discord Channel Just let me know when you arrive in the server that you’re a Patreon so you can access your special channel.
Despite his curly crimson beard and heavyset build King Jerome was quite a mild-mannered man. His soft chin and cheekbones lent the man a face more inclined to smiling than scowling.
He was doing both, which wasn’t something Martin nor Ginger had seen that. His eyes were narrowed and brow furrowed. His lips however were tilted in a wry smile.
“We did give you the authority to make treaties with Queen Janize directly, but these are harsh terms for us, Sir Martin, Lady Ginger.”
Martin had set up their mirror so he and Ginger were standing in front of it. He dipped his head, placing one hand over his chest. “I am afraid I don’t see any other option, Your Majesty. You know of the strategic situation and the dragons that Thorgoth has under his command. We didn’t want the civil war in the first place, but now we must end it or risk annihilation.”
Queen Forowena, despite her limp, was pacing around her chair. One hand clenched her chin. “We don’t even know if Janize will agree to meet with us in the first place. Though, that’s beside the point. You want to know if we ought to approve of this at all.”
“Yes ma’am, I mean, Your Majesties.” Ginger swallowed. “More importantly, we want to know if there are any terms you are demanding Queen Janize to accept.”
The eyes of Forowena and Jerome met. No words passed between them. Jerome only raised a thick eyebrow and Forowena nodded, before turning to the pair. “No, but I do have one question. Did Elizabeth and Frances tell you about my infertility?”
Martin winced, whilst Ginger coughed officiously. “Elizabeth did, Your Majesty. She said that she will take full responsibility for that breach, and states that trying to keep the secret was impossible given the nature of her mission and our involvement in it.”
Nodding, Martin braced himself and clasped his hands behind his back. “Which brings the question, Your Majesty, with all due respect, did you intend for us to assassinate Queen Janize and her child?”
Forowena and Jerome again glanced at one another. This time, Jerome was giving his wife a knowing smile and the Earl was pinching her nose.
“To speak truthfully, Sir Martin, Lady Ginger, we were not sure ourselves whether we wanted to kill Janize if she was pregnant. We have continued to debate the question and its consequences,” said Forowena.
Jerome grimaced. “What we knew for sure was that Erisdale had to be put to siege. Now, I argued that my sister should be spared as with her child.”
“And I argued that Janize and her child were a threat to our rule and our chosen successors. I don’t want to kill them for both moral and practical reasons, but I was not sure how to neutralise them.” The Earl ran a hand through her hair and glanced at her husband. “Dear, I believe that we can accept most of the terms that Martin and Ginger have offered our behalf except for the second point.”
The king took her hand, running his scarred fingers over Forowena’s knuckles “You are correct my dear. We will allow Janize's child to enter the line of succession, but we have chosen our successors.”
Martin did his best to keep his expression neutral. “Your Majesty, I don’t understand. There’s no other direct descendant of House Grey left.”
Forowena sighed, her eyes meeting Martin and Ginger’s. “No. That’s why after very careful thinking, we planned to appoint our successors. We have even talked to all the other lords and ladies who support us and even our kingdom’s most powerful mages. That’s why there’s no way we can fully accept that second condition. It would be impractical if not impossible to get them to switch their support.”
Martin frowned. He suddenly recalled a call where his mothers and sister had given him a very strange look. They seemed oddly proud, even when they’d just been talking about family gossip.
Jerome nodded, “That and we would still be at war with Alavaria. A child successor would be inherently less appealing, and especially one underneath the influence of Queen Janize at that.”
Rubbing her temples, Forowena drawled, “It’s also why Janize and her child are such a threat. Unless Janize formally renounces her claim, she’d always be able to make a bid for the throne through her child. Not to mention she could just influence the throne through her child if he or she becomes ruler of Erisdale.”
Ginger coughed into her fist. Lifting her chin, she glared defiantly at the mirror. “With all due respect, Your Majesties, it would be better than continuing this pointless civil war. So long as we execute Darius and strip the rest of the Traditionalists of their power, who cares if Janize has some influence over her child? She won’t be able to harm Alavari in Erisdale, or affect lasting change. We’ll still be here. We’ll watch her and if she goes too far we will have Queen Titania’s Alavaria assisting us.”
Martin narrowed his eyes. Forowena and Jerome were exchanging looks again. Both were smiling at each other, but the ends of their lips were curled into just a bit of a smirk.
“Your Majesties, perhaps you can enlighten us on who you decided to be your successors? If they are not a very popular choice, maybe we can accept Janize’s terms.” The knight watched the king and queen carefully as his words hung in the air. He watched as King Jerome blinked, tried to avert his gaze, before forcing himself to look him in the eye. He noted how Queen Forowena forced her features into an expressionless mask.
Martin felt a cold shiver run through the very core of his being. Unconsciously he grabbed Ginger’s hand. His fiance blinked, tuning to look at him with wide eyes. Martin swallowed.
“That is, unless for some insane reason you’ve chosen me and Ginger?”
The queen let out a small breath, while trying to keep her neutral expression. Jerome’s shoulders sagged and he patted Forowena’s shoulder. “Told you he’d figure it out.”
Ginger’s head whipped back to face the royal couple. “Wait, what? Impossible. I’m a commoner. A former convict!”
Forowena’s eyes narrowed and her voice rose. “You’re also popular with the people, one of our national heroes. If your little rebuke to us was any indication, you also are loyal not to Erisdale’s monarchy, but our country and people. As for the matter of your commoner background, you’re marrying Martin and you know what that means.”
Ginger hands clasped behind her head, almost screamed, “Yes, I am marrying into a distant relation of the Royal Family and one of the founding noble houses of Erisdale. I was ready for that! You’re asking me—us to become King and Queen of Erisdale!”
“Yes.” Forowena growled, bitter tears wetting her eyes. “And we would never do so if there was no other option, Lady Ginger, but I can’t conceive a child!”
Jerome’s hand reached over to squeeze his queen’s shoulder. “And there’s no way I’m divorcing my queen. I am a man of my word and I vowed to be with Forowena until death do us part. That won’t change.”
Martin coughed to clear his throat and crossed his arms. “Then why didn’t you just have a surrogate give birth to your child, Your Majesty? I know it would be shameful but did you consider that we may not want to be king and queen?”
The king blinked, looking a little like an owl caught by torchlight. Forowena grimaced. “I did discuss this with Jerome, but I couldn’t quite convince him. You do have a good point, Sir Martin. However, even if Jerome did finally agree to father a child with a surrogate, we would still want you and Ginger to become the next King and Queen.”
“Right, potential child ruler. Not good for Erisdale,” Ginger muttered.
Forowena grimaced. “That and how many children could Jerome father? He cannot simply start fathering children haphazardly. More importantly, children are vulnerable. Even if by some miracle I could bear children, I would push for you both to be added in the line of succession.”
Jerome nodded solemnly. “Neither of us are willing to risk the fate of Erisdale on a child, even if it was our own. Considering that our original discussion was about the potential for Janize’s child to inherit, I think you see our point.”
Ginger, biting the tip of her thumb, yanked her hand out of her mouth. “We couldn’t have been that popular a choice, though…right?”
Forowena grinned. “You weren’t everybody’s first choice, but you were on the lips of many and once we started to seriously press those who were hesitant, they agreed you two were the best option. They even pledged to support you.”
Ginger glanced at her husband, but he was still crossing his arms. He’d gone so still for a moment she wondered if he was breathing. Then her mind caught up with her.
“Every lord and lady under your command agreed on us?” she stammered.
“Including your sister Mara, Martin,” said Jerome.
Clutching her hands, Ginger took a deep breath. “But why not Lady Edana—
“Of Erlenberg and not Erisdalian,” said Forowena.
“Frances!”
Jerome shook his head, wincing. Forowena sighed. “Otherworlder and clearly too close to Prince Timur to make her look out for Erisdale’s interest.”
Ginger pressed a hand over her mouth, her free hand clenching into a fist and opening. “Shit. This…this is really happening.”
Martin closed his eyes and nodded. “I believe so. My…personal feelings aside, I will do my duty. But what do we tell Janize?”
“That we’ve appointed our own successors, but her child will be in the line of succession, with our successors house to take precedent over her own. That might complicate the succession law for the future, but that can be resolved in time.” Forowena snapped her fingers. “Ah, and we will also make it a condition that the amount wealth and land confiscated will be determined on the basis of who the Traditonalists persecuted and to provide compensation for property damaged by their forces in the war.”
Martin and Ginger exchanged a glance. “Including Alavari, Your Majesty?” Martin asked, his voice quiet.
Jerome nodded. “That is the intention, Sir Martin. Now…I believe you and your fiance have much to discuss. If that is all, you may request to be dismissed.”
“We do wish, Your Majesties,” said Martin, bowing. Ginger mirrored her fiance and the images of the king and queen faded.
Promptly walking over to one of their chests, Ginger fished into it and drew out a bottle of wine.
“Care for glass?” she asked as she fetched a goblet.
Martin sat down heavily onto his bedroll. “Yes. We…well nothing is guaranteed. I mean we haven’t even gotten married yet.”
Ginger poured herself and her fiance two glasses and handed one to Martin. “But we pledged to after the war, and so have the other lords and ladies of Erisdale. Damnit, of course Frances, Elizabeth and the others would support us, but everybody else?”
“It’s unexpected, but now that I think about it, most people wouldn’t want to be named heirs to Erisdale. It’ll be a hard job rebuilding this kingdom after the war and essentially starting a new dynasty.”
Sitting down, Ginger sipped from her glass. “Dynasty. Fuck, I’ll have to do something about my family.”
“Give your parents a stipend and nothing else.” Martin pursed his lips. “Of course, if you don’t want to be queen, Ginger, you can just—”
His fiance leant against his shoulder. “Finish that sentence and I will smack you. We’re in this together, Martin.”
“I know and I love you. I just wanted to make sure.” Martin took a deep gulp of wine and swallowed hard. “Hopefully, this is the last of the big responsibilities we get.”
Ginger snorted. “I would not bet on it my dear knight.”
Her fiance chuckled, before his lips pinched together. “Promise that you’ll never start calling me Your Majesty, please.”
Wrapping her arm around the blonde man, Ginger smiled. “You’ll always be my shining knight, Martin. Nothing will change that.”
“Thank you, Ginger.”
Pulling her feet off the table where Janize’s mirror was and sliding them back into slippers, Leila crossed her arms. “How many years since you’ve seen your brother?”
“Not since the civil war started, so about two years.” Janize smiled gave Leila a peck on the cheek. “Honestly, I am both irritated and a little proud of Jerome. I didn’t expect him to hold out, much less turn the tables on me. I always teased him when we were younger. He was too honorable, to the point that he was dumb. I suppose he just needed to find the right group of people to help him along. How long before the meeting by the way?”
Leila glanced at the high noon sun outside. “Not long now. I’ve also redoubled the security spells and checked the room.”
Janize nodded serenely. “Good. Anything else you can think of with regards to the conditions we have and their terms?”
The Otherworlder tapped her fingers on her arm. “Well, it’s not exactly something they demanded, but it might come up. They probably will demand compensation for the Alavari that we’ve been experimenting on. It’s probably why they demanded land and wealth from our rebelling nobles.”
“Pardon?”
Leila frowned, meeting Janize’s narrowed grey eyes. “I mean, it’ll be hard to argue with them. They’ve captured several of the labs and have our research notes—”
Janize raised her hand, her usually relaxed brow now furrowed. “Leila, what are you talking about? What do you mean by labs and experiments?”
The Otherworlder’s eyes widened and she found herself sitting up ramrod straight. “Um, is this a particularly amusing prank of yours?”
“We are minutes away from a critical meeting. Why would I joke about this with you now?” Janize hissed.
Leila blinked and slowly shook her head. “You’re kidding me. There’s no way you could have not been aware of this. The castles and labs were garrisoned with army troops and Red Order mages.”
“Leila this is the first time I’ve heard about these labs and castles—” Janize grimaced as the mirror began to glow, the sign that a call was coming. “Oh dear. Oh dear. I…I suppose I will have to request to be informed.” Settling herself, the queen touched the mirror and watched as King Jerome, Queen Forowena, Elizabeth, Ayax, Martin and Ginger appeared.
“Hello Janize,” said Jerome, coolly.
Janize smiled without mirth. “Greetings, Jerome. I must begin this meeting with a bit of a somewhat incredulous confession. But please bring me up to date on what exactly has been going on in the labs you have found that were apparently operated by my forces?”
The queen’s smile thinned as sceptical scowls and narrowed eyes met her question. Ayax blinked, tail whipping side to side. “You’re joking right?”
Janize cut before the stunned looking Reformists could ask another question. “I wish I was, but I was just informed by Leila here that they did exist. Speaking of which, how did you come to know about them, Leila? This is not something discussed in my palace.”
A grim, almost haunted look came over Leila’s face. “I found out about it recently as well. A few months ago, Master Scarlet of the Red Order requested Otherworlder assistance in defending their outposts and castles. They had no strategic value so we pressed her and she told us they were magical research laboratories and they couldn’t move the research easily. After that meeting, Earl Darius tried to convince me, saying that it would please Janize if I sallied forth. I wouldn’t normally have believed him, but our situation was so desperate I thought it made sense. I started to prepare a counterattack, but then it didn’t matter anyway because you folks in the Lightning Battalion started to attack them and there is no way in hell we would survive a fight with a full army division.”
Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth tried her best to get her own temper and confusion under control. “You mean you weren’t told what was going on in there? When did you find out about the children?”
“Our standing orders were to take Alavari prisoners of war and hand them over to the Red Order. So I figured—” Leila dropped her arms to her side. “Hold on. Children? What the fuck are you talking about? I thought they were experimenting with prisoners of war and criminals?”
A cold snarl twisting her normally serene expression, Ayax rose to her feet. “You Traditionalists haven’t even been fighting the Alavari! How could you have gotten prisoners of war? And experimenting on them is still wrong!”
Feeling a headache coming on, Janize gingerly massaged the side of her temple. “Wait, children? I thought that was propaganda you were spreading. Where the hell did you even get children from?”
“From the Alavari that lived in Erisdale, and from those that you kidnapped from Alavaria!” Elizabeth hissed.
“I authorized funding and troops for magical research, not that.” Her stony-masked stoicism wavered as her lips twitched. It was as if the queen was trying to prevent a wince. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, but this is extraordinary.”
His eyes narrowed, King Jerome leaned onto his elbows. “Janize, I don’t understand. How could you have known nothing? You don’t trust Earl Darius or Master Scarlet that much.”
Janize pulled her hands from her temples. Drawing herself straight, she narrowed her eyes at the mirror. “No I don’t, but this is the first time I’ve heard about these experiments.”
Leila blinked. She knew her lover better now and as good at hiding her feelings the queen was, she did have some subtle tells. In this case, her shoulders were just a bit too stiff, stretching skin across her high collarbone. “Janize, I’m sorry, but that’s…not entirely true isn’t it?”
The queen tilted her head toward the Otherworlder. Her grey eyes glared daggers at Leila for a brief moment, before she turned back to the mirror. In an arch tone, she hissed between gritted teeth, “I know they were making mana batteries. However, it’s the first time I’ve heard about children. I have been suspicious about why Master Scarlet and Earl Darius require so many facilities for some time and have been trying to audit them. They’ve been stonewalling me with magical and military jargon or burying it in budget books under nondescript lines.”
Leila blinked. “Oh that’s why you were asking me what those words meant.”
“Yes, dear. Now, if the interrogation is over, I will agree to offer compensation to those children and their surviving family members. In return, I have my own conditions.”
Forowena sneered. “Name them. We have our own conditions as well.”
Janize grinned back. “First, my child is not to be next in line to the throne of Erisdale. In fact, I would like to renounce my right of succession and that of my child.”
It was rather hard for Elizabeth, Ayax and their allies to hide their surprise. Admirably, King Jerome only managed to show his shock through a series of rapid blinks. “That’s a major concession, sister.”
The queen turned her chin up. “In return, once you depose Earl Darius, you grant me his personal lands and make me an Earl.”
Crossing her arms, her thoughts racing a mile-a-minute, Elizabeth muttered. “You’d become Erisdale’s chief powerbroker.”
“I am surrendering after all and most of my allies will be gone. You got to give me something. Besides, if I remain Earl, I’d be able to keep what remains of the Traditonalists in check. Exile honestly doesn’t suit me, as comfortable as it would be. I want my child to have a future, not one where he or she has no allies and is bound to the crown.”
Forowena and Jerome glanced at one another, exchanging frowns.
Martin also looked to Ginger, who shook her head. He nodded. They’d had their own discussion about Janize’s possible offers and they had their own opinion.
“Go get em, Martin,” Ginger rasped.
The knight swallowed and coughed officiously. “If I may be so bold, Your Majesties, I propose we grant Queen Janize a county, not an earldom. In return, we shall protect her from reprisals and reparations that the Crown of Alavaria will undoubtedly request.”
Leila rolled her eyes. “What crimes? As you said, we didn’t fight Alavaria.”
A shit-eating grin blossomed over Ginger’s face. Idly twirling a lock of her hair, she crossed her legs. “Earl Darius’s forces kidnapped Queen Titania’s niece, Princess Morgan Greyhammer from the Alavari Academy of Magic and subjected her to a year of torture and experimentation.”
In the silence that followed, all that could be heard was Leila trying not to sputter. Janize was quiet and still. Yet the color was drained from her face.
“That dumb bastard,” Janize whispered.
Leila slammed her fist on the table, causing Janize to flinch. “Fuck.”
“So a county it is, then?” Ginger asked in an airy tone.
“Yes. Do you confirm your side of your terms?” Janize asked.
“We do. Our demand was that your child could not be our successor, which you have agreed to.”
“So the dynasty of the House of Grey ends I suppose.” Janize let out a shuddering breath and shook her head. “Then who is to be your successor?”
Martin and Ginger clasped each other’s hands in unison before facing the group.
“We are,” said Martin slowly.
“Until someone better is found,” said Ginger.
Janize arched an eyebrow. Leila sighed. The queen, however, nudged her Otherworlder quiet and gave a nod of assent. “A wise choice. Shall we continue?”
Author’s Note: So yeah, this is a bit of a twist, let’s see what happens.

I'm so high up
I'm on top of the world
riding it like a tidal wave
before it crashes down
shattering the illusion of euphoria
facing me with reality
_
I'm suffocating
drowned by the very thing that made me float
it pushed me over the edge
sent me spiraling off a cliff
now I'm falling down the pit
_
An endless cycle of heaven and hell
Sweet torture coursing through my veins
A monster running loose inside my brain
A fate I'll never be able to escape
_
It's strangely satisfying
How it keeps me up all night
It burns brighter than the sun
so hot it burns itself to right ash
putting an end to its own fire
and leaving nothing but dust
__
Of course I prefer to stay in heaven
but hell always comes for me
it hides behind my fantasies
so it can strike me down viciously
__
I wish I could run forever
but even running won't keep my feet on the ground
it lifts me up so I can see the clouds
just so it can watch me slam back down
__
This is the curse I bear
Till death do us part, I can't break free
of the chains locking me down
Because before I can rise to heaven
first I must fall into hell
//
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/12676c3/set_sail_again/je8ba83/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/12675wh/we_say_no_more/je8ctm2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

Hey everyone! This post might be a bit long, so I'll put in a TL,DR at the end. Anyways, a while back I bought Gloomhaven, impressed by the reviews, overall theme of it, artwork, etc. I only did a "surface level" of research, basically just seeing that it seemed to be highly rated and well-liked, because I didn't want to spoil too much of the story/gameplay for myself.
Fast forward to now, and I'm just deeply unhappy with my purchases. At first it seemed decent, if perhaps a bit on the difficult side. But honestly the more I play it the more things I notice feel "wrong" with it, to the point that I'm starting to hate the game and am contemplating shelving it permanently. I'm here to get friendly suggestions on games that maybe have a similar theme but hopefully with better gameplay. To hopefully give a better idea of what I like/don't like about Gloomhaven, I'm gonna list some of those things out. There might be some very mild spoilers about a couple of starter class cards, maybe a monster ability or two, etc. But I'll try to keep it super vague.
What I LIKE about Gloomhaven: The world is to some extent a little more unique than what is usually seen in fantasy worlds. I like the odd and varied array of playable races among the characters. I also like the various classes. Most of the classes are based on common RPG archetypes, but they still felt pretty cool.
-I also love the party-building aspect, pretty much everything about it. I enjoy picking characters that work well together and seem to thematically complement each other. I enjoy all the various unlocks. I enjoy unlocking new classes, new gear at new prosperity levels, new enhancements, new cards when I level up. It's fun creating builds and theory crafting and all that fun stuff. There's a really great sense of progression as you complete scenarios and level up.
What I DISLIKE: Well, um...pretty much everything else tbh.
-The gameplay. The flow of the game feels clunky, slow, and has a weird anti-synergy with itself in that you're encouraged to plan out your turns carefully, but nearly anything can render your turn irrelevant no matter how carefully you plan (someone moving into a spot you wanted, an unlucky modifier flip, a poorly timed monster ability, etc.) A ton of things in this game that are outside of your control will make your turn, and by extension you, feel useless.
-Player-unfriendly and non-sensical card rulings
-Poor scenario design, with huge variance in difficulty depending on rng, room design, and monster types present
-Inconsistent, counter-intuitive, and at times downright unfair rules
-Underdeveloped roles/playstyles
-Poor item and class balance
-Poor hero fantasy fulfillment (I almost never feel like my characters are strong or competent, unless I'm playing one of the obviously broken classes. But those basically break and trivialize the game. There seems to be little middle ground here).
-Disjointed and at times confusing story
There are probably more things that I dislike that aren't immediately springing to mind, but this feels like the core of it. I'd also be happy to discuss my points more in the comments if you want to know why I feel a certain way (I do have examples). I just didn't want this post to run on too much longer. To sum it all up, I'm hoping to get some recommendations on games that share the good qualities of Gloomhaven, but with less of the bad ones.
TL, DR: Are there any games you'd recommend someone who enjoys the party building, flavor, and progression of Gloomhaven (class unlocks, card unlocks, enhancements, gear unlocks, etc), but who doesn't enjoy the actual gameplay or scenarios? Thanks!

1
When lilacs last in the door-yard bloom’d,
And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d—and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.
​
O ever-returning spring! trinity sure to me you bring;
Lilac blooming perennial, and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.
​
2
​
O powerful, western, fallen star!
O shades of night! O moody, tearful night!
O great star disappear’d! O the black murk that hides the star!
O cruel hands that hold me powerless! O helpless soul of me!
O harsh surrounding cloud, that will not free my soul!
​
3
​
In the door-yard fronting an old farm-house, near the white-wash’d palings,
Stands the lilac bush, tall-growing, with heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
With many a pointed blossom, rising, delicate, with the perfume strong I love,
With every leaf a miracle......and from this bush in the door-yard,
With delicate-color’d blossoms, and heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
A sprig, with its flower, I break.
​
​
4
​
In the swamp, in secluded recesses,
A shy and hidden bird is warbling a song.
​
Solitary, the thrush,
The hermit, withdrawn to himself, avoiding the settlements,
Sings by himself a song.
​
Song of the bleeding throat!
Death’s outlet song of life—(for well, dear brother, I know
If thou wast not gifted to sing, thou would’st surely die.)
​
5
​
Over the breast of the spring, the land, amid cities,
Amid lanes, and through old woods, (where lately the violets peep’d from the ground, spotting the gray debris;)
Amid the grass in the fields each side of the lanes—passing the endless grass;
Passing the yellow-spear’d wheat, every grain from its shroud in the dark-brown fields uprising;
Passing the apple-tree blows of white and pink in the orchards;
Carrying a corpse to where it shall rest in the grave,
Night and day journeys a coffin.
​
6
​
Coffin that passes through lanes and streets,
Through day and night, with the great cloud darkening the land,
With the pomp of the inloop’d flags, with the cities draped in black,
With the show of the States themselves, as of crape-veil’d women, standing,
With processions long and winding, and the flambeaus of the night,
With the countless torches lit—with the silent sea of faces, and the unbared heads,
With the waiting depot, the arriving coffin, and the sombre faces,
With dirges through the night, with the thousand voices rising strong and solemn;
With all the mournful voices of the dirges, pour’d around the coffin,
The dim-lit churches and the shuddering organs—Where amid these you journey,
With the tolling, tolling bells’ perpetual clang;
Here! coffin that slowly passes,
I give you my sprig of lilac.
​
7
​
(Nor for you, for one, alone;
Blossoms and branches green to coffins all I bring:
For fresh as the morning—thus would I carol a song for you, O sane and sacred death.
​
All over bouquets of roses,
O death! I cover you over with roses and early lilies;
But mostly and now the lilac that blooms the first,
Copious, I break, I break the sprigs from the bushes;
With loaded arms I come, pouring for you,
For you, and the coffins all of you, O death.)
​
8
​
O western orb, sailing the heaven!
Now I know what you must have meant, as a month since we walk’d,
As we walk’d up and down in the dark blue so mystic,
As we walk’d in silence the transparent shadowy night,
As I saw you had something to tell, as you bent to me night after night,
As you droop’d from the sky low down, as if to my side, (while the other stars all look’d on;)
As we wander’d together the solemn night, (for something, I know not what, kept me from sleep;)
As the night advanced, and I saw on the rim of the west, ere you went, how full you were of woe;
As I stood on the rising ground in the breeze, in the cold transparent night,
As I watch’d where you pass’d and was lost in the netherward black of the night,
As my soul, in its trouble, dissatisfied, sank, as where you, sad orb,
Concluded, dropt in the night, and was gone.
​
9
​
Sing on, there in the swamp!
O singer bashful and tender! I hear your notes—I hear your call;
I hear—I come presently—I understand you;
But a moment I linger—for the lustrous star has detain’d me;
The star, my departing comrade, holds and detains me.
​
10
​
O how shall I warble myself for the dead one there I loved?
And how shall I deck my song for the large sweet soul that has gone?
And what shall my perfume be, for the grave of him I love?
​
Sea-winds, blown from east and west,
Blown from the eastern sea, and blown from the western sea, till there on the prairies meeting:
These, and with these, and the breath of my chant,
I perfume the grave of him I love.
​
11
​
O what shall I hang on the chamber walls?
And what shall the pictures be that I hang on the walls,
To adorn the burial-house of him I love?
​
Pictures of growing spring, and farms, and homes,
With the Fourth-month eve at sundown, and the gray smoke lucid and bright,
With floods of the yellow gold of the gorgeous, indolent, sinking sun, burning, expanding the air;
With the fresh sweet herbage under foot, and the pale green leaves of the trees prolific;
In the distance the flowing glaze, the breast of the river, with a wind-dapple here and there;
With ranging hills on the banks, with many a line against the sky, and shadows;
And the city at hand, with dwellings so dense, and stacks of chimneys,
And all the scenes of life, and the workshops, and the workmen homeward returning.
​
12
​
Lo! body and soul! this land!
Mighty Manhattan, with spires, and the sparkling and hurrying tides, and the ships;
The varied and ample land—the South and the North in the light—Ohio’s shores, and flashing Missouri,
And ever the far-spreading prairies, cover’d with grass and corn.
​
Lo! the most excellent sun, so calm and haughty;
The violet and purple morn, with just-felt breezes;
The gentle, soft-born, measureless light;
The miracle, spreading, bathing all—the fulfill’d noon;
The coming eve, delicious—the welcome night, and the stars,
Over my cities shining all, enveloping man and land.
​
13
​
Sing on! sing on, you gray-brown bird!
Sing from the swamps, the recesses—pour your chant from the bushes;
Limitless out of the dusk, out of the cedars and pines.
​
Sing on, dearest brother—warble your reedy song;
Loud human song, with voice of uttermost woe.
​
O liquid, and free, and tender!
O wild and loose to my soul! O wondrous singer!
You only I hear......yet the star holds me, (but will soon depart;)
Yet the lilac, with mastering odor, holds me.
​
14
​
Now while I sat in the day, and look’d forth,
In the close of the day, with its light, and the fields of spring, and the farmer preparing his crops,
In the large unconscious scenery of my land, with its lakes and forests,
In the heavenly aerial beauty, (after the perturb’d winds, and the storms;)
Under the arching heavens of the afternoon swift passing, and the voices of children and women,
The many-moving sea-tides,—and I saw the ships how they sail’d,
And the summer approaching with richness, and the fields all busy with labor,
And the infinite separate houses, how they all went on, each with its meals and minutia of daily usages;
And the streets, how their throbbings throbb’d, and the cities pent—lo! then and there,
Falling upon them all, and among them all, enveloping me with the rest,
Appear’d the cloud, appear’d the long black trail;
And I knew Death, its thought, and the sacred knowledge of death.
​
15
​
Then with the knowledge of death as walking one side of me,
And the thought of death close-walking the other side of me,
And I in the middle, as with companions, and as holding the hands of companions,
I fled forth to the hiding receiving night, that talks not,
Down to the shores of the water, the path by the swamp in the dimness,
To the solemn shadowy cedars, and ghostly pines so still.
​
And the singer so shy to the rest receiv’d me;
The gray-brown bird I know, receiv’d us comrades three;
And he sang what seem’d the carol of death, and a verse for him I love.
​
From deep secluded recesses,
From the fragrant cedars, and the ghostly pines so still,
Came the carol of the bird.
​
And the charm of the carol rapt me,
As I held, as if by their hands, my comrades in the night;
And the voice of my spirit tallied the song of the bird.
​
16
​
DEATH CAROL.
​
Come, lovely and soothing Death,
Undulate round the world, serenely arriving, arriving,
In the day, in the night, to all, to each,
Sooner or later, delicate Death.
​
Prais’d be the fathomless universe,
For life and joy, and for objects and knowledge curious;
And for love, sweet love—But praise! praise! praise!
For the sure-enwinding arms of cool-enfolding Death.
​
Dark Mother, always gliding near, with soft feet,
Have none chanted for thee a chant of fullest welcome?
​
Then I chant it for thee—I glorify thee above all;
I bring thee a song that when thou must indeed come, come unfalteringly.
​
Approach, strong Deliveress!
When it is so—when thou hast taken them, I joyously sing the dead,
Lost in the loving, floating ocean of thee,
Laved in the flood of thy bliss, O Death.
​
From me to thee glad serenades,
Dances for thee I propose, saluting thee—adornments and feastings for thee;
And the sights of the open landscape, and the high-spread sky, are fitting,
And life and the fields, and the huge and thoughtful night.
​
The night, in silence, under many a star;
The ocean shore, and the husky whispering wave, whose voice I know;
And the soul turning to thee, O vast and well-veil’d Death,
And the body gratefully nestling close to thee.
​
Over the tree-tops I float thee a song!
Over the rising and sinking waves—over the myriad fields, and the prairies wide;
Over the dense-pack’d cities all, and the teeming wharves and ways,
I float this carol with joy, with joy to thee, O Death!
​
17
​
To the tally of my soul,
Loud and strong kept up the gray-brown bird,
With pure, deliberate notes, spreading, filling the night.
​
Loud in the pines and cedars dim,
Clear in the freshness moist, and the swamp-perfume;
And I with my comrades there in the night.
​
While my sight that was bound in my eyes unclosed,
As to long panoramas of visions.
​
​
18
​
I saw askant the armies;
And I saw, as in noiseless dreams, hundreds of battle-flags;
Borne through the smoke of the battles, and pierc’d with missiles, I saw them,
And carried hither and yon through the smoke, and torn and bloody;
And at last but a few shreds left on the staffs, (and all in silence,)
And the staffs all splinter’d and broken.
​
I saw battle-corpses, myriads of them,
And the white skeletons of young men—I saw them;
I saw the debris and debris of all the dead soldiers of the war;
But I saw they were not as was thought;
They themselves were fully at rest—they suffer’d not;
The living remain’d and suffer’d—the mother suffer’d,
And the wife and the child, and the musing comrade suffer’d,
And the armies that remain’d suffer’d.
​
​
19
​
Passing the visions, passing the night;
Passing, unloosing the hold of my comrades’ hands;
Passing the song of the hermit bird, and the tallying song of my soul,
(Victorious song, death’s outlet song, yet varying, ever-altering song,
As low and wailing, yet clear the notes, rising and falling, flooding the night,
Sadly sinking and fainting, as warning and warning, and yet again bursting with joy,
Covering the earth, and filling the spread of the heaven,
As that powerful psalm in the night I heard from recesses,)
Passing, I leave thee, lilac with heart-shaped leaves;
I leave thee there in the door-yard, blooming, returning with spring,
I cease from my song for thee;
From my gaze on thee in the west, fronting the west, communing with thee,
O comrade lustrous, with silver face in the night.
​
​
20
​
Yet each I keep, and all, retrievements out of the night;
The song, the wondrous chant of the gray-brown bird,
And the tallying chant, the echo arous’d in my soul,
With the lustrous and drooping star, with the countenance full of woe,
With the lilac tall, and its blossoms of mastering odor;
With the holders holding my hand, nearing the call of the bird,
Comrades mine, and I in the midst, and their memory ever I keep—for the dead I loved so well;
For the sweetest, wisest soul of all my days and lands...and this for his dear sake;
Lilac and star and bird, twined with the chant of my soul,
There in the fragrant pines, and the cedars dusk and dim.

You were there today like most days.   This day though you unhooded.   Standing plain in the light so I could see.   Face bare to the giant heat.   No more hiding, no more dancing.   Just there, and just her.   She’s mine you should know.   This other version of you.   Not lesser, not more.   The reflection in the mirror.   Which you is the original?   Who can say at this point?   You weave in and out of each other.   Woven into being by the gods.   Made to be who are, and who you are.   And as for me dear one.   I’ve called you so many names.   As we walked this journey together.   Names that echoed themes.   Of lust and later so much more.   If those two can be divided.   Names that match words from your lips.   Words of honey and jasmine.   Words that strike hammer blows.   We are who we are.   We may as well be the tide.   Rising and falling, low and high.   In and out and in again.   It’s a weird life and it’s beautiful.   Strange and terrible yet glorious.   And you are purpose made flesh.   Perhaps you’ll be there tomorrow.   Perhaps it will be weeks or months again.   But you should know she is mine.   And her pious worship my fuel.

I mean if you think about it is there any other way of learning high-school level addition if you have no reason to... uhh... count monsters?

A few weeks ago I got sick and struggled with insomnia. So I decided to binge the entirety of the Hanna-Barbera Godzilla cartoon on YouTube until I recovered. And what a surprise, Godzooky in this show is the kaiju equivalent of Scrappy-Doo and I’m sure even if I was a literal 12 year old who watched this I’d still hate him. He’s almost more of a presence in the cartoon than Godzilla himself.
Godzooky’s is basically Godzilla dumbass little cousin who tries his hardest to be helpful but ultimately just gets in trouble trying to pick a fight with the Monster of The Week and all his shenanigans are unfunny even if I was literal kid watching this. Every time this motherfucker is on screen I lose brain cells until the Calico crew summons Godzilla to their aid with the kaiju equivalent to the Batman signal (the Godzilla Signaler).
But, there is one redeeming thing about Godzooky I kinda like. When the little shit is in great danger, Godzilla seems to always gain some sort of second wind or major morale boost in order to rescue Godzooky and it’s actually quite nice. This is shown when Godzilla breaks out of webbing from a giant spider as soon as hears Godzooky about to be eaten by said giant spider. Whenever the Godzilla Signaler doesn’t work, its Godzooky’s roars for help that Godzilla answers that drives him to save Godzooky and the Calico crew from trouble.
But man, Godzooky still sucks. His very presence even ruins the epic mood of the show’s opening theme song lol:
Up from the depths
Thirsty stories high
Breathing fire
His head in the sky!
Godzilla! Godzilla! Godzilla
-AND GODZOOOOOKYYYYYY~

Since the most familiar performance for many is the Lansbury/Hearn original run (but not original Sweeney), I have that in mind as a reference. Attending the Wednesday matinee I was concerned about understudies, but there were no replacements in the cast.
There were a few differences: The new production doesn't use the whistle (that shrieking sound at the start, often when there's a killing and other places). With a full orchestra, they tended to use instruments--orchestra hits or piccolo. They didn't include the very creepy Mea Culpa song for Judge Turpin with its implied, twisted sexual climax. (Google the Philip Quast version of the song.) Finally, the ravaging of Lucy was performed in silhouette and left vague, whereas IIRC, in some productions at least, it's staged quite clearly as a gang rape. I wonder if these changes make the overall production more palatable.
The staging was big, which is unusual, yet very sparse (which is not). The upper level was a stage-wide bridge lowered and raised (or angled) as needed. It served primarily as Joanna's bedroom and as Sweeney's barber shop. The other major element of the set was a narrow full-height tower that served as the stairs to the shop, rotated as the asylum, and rotated again as part of the bake house/basement. (Other basic smaller elements were brought in for the pie shop, barber contest, etc.) The shop featured a fully functioning chair (in Act 2) with actors sliding out and either going offstage or ending up in the bake house. The oven was huge and rose up out of the floor usually under the bridge, or, at the end, with a full-height, smoking chimney. The backdrop for almost the entire play was a huge semi-circle of the moon. Its color shifted throughout the performance. At the very end [don't read if you plan to see this production], Sweeney and Lovett don't close and slam a door--they make a sudden, surprise drop into the stage and disappear as if descending straight to Hell.
Costuming was much more muted than the original. Anthony, for example, wouldn't immediately be recognizable as a sailor. Joanna isn't dolled up quite as much. Pirelli doesn't have a cape. (And, despite the publicity photos implying otherwise, we never see Sweeney in a formal coat or with a top hat.)
On to the cast. Josh Groban is best known as a dulcent-toned crooner with a gift for cameos (see Muppets Most Wanted). The only problem with him being Sweeney is that it's distracting. It's hard to avoid thinking "That's Josh Groban." It would be as if Celine Dion played Mrs. Lovett. The acting was fine--when he flips at the end of Act 1 and decides "We All Deserve to Die," I believed it. There wasn't a false or weak note anywhere. He delivered the songs perfectly, never felt like a crooner, yet he was still there, with the beard, and it was just a distraction for me. They should have done more to alter his appearance.
Aside: Looking back, this shows how exceptional Angela Lansbury's skills were. I saw her on stage in A Little Night Music. I've seen other well-known actors on stage, such as Cate Blanchett and Kevin Kline. These actors had a way of disappearing so that you didn't think about who they were. Groban was very good--but he didn't quite have that.
Annaleigh Ashford was just perfect throughout. It was a very Lansbury-esque performance but not to the point of outright imitation. Crazy hair, check. Clinging and strange attempts at seduction, check. Accent, check [if a bit more restrained]. But she inhabited it for herself. The audience was fantastic, as to be expected for a cult favorite in its first week, and she was responsible for most of the comedy that rippled through the crowd, usually through physical humor and {chef's kiss} perfect timing.
Galen Matarazzo (primarily known as Dustin in Stranger Things) was a surprise choice for Toby. When he was first announced, I thought it was stunt casting, but he was terrific on stage, and [spoiler] in the delicate ending where he finally finishes off Sweeney and is left traumatized and delirious. Maybe not quite as moving as Neil Patrick Harris, but very effective. "Not While I'm Around" is one of the most beautiful songs in Broadway's entire repertoire, and he covered it well (if some of the higher notes ("but in time...") were obvious falsetto), enacting Toby as a simpleton who really believed in monsters and would fight them all for the "nice" lady who took him in. He came across as a distant relative of Sam Gamgee.
The cast included Jordan Fisher as Anthony. He's played as more of a star-eyed lover and less naive than the original, but "I Feel You" was well delivered if not a standout.
Joanna was a concern of mine. In the original, I found it very hard to follow the very high soprano part, especially given the speed of some of her lines, but Joanna Bilbao's diction was fantastic, and I lost only a few words. If you don't like the shrieking soprano of the original, you'll be very glad to read this.
John Bapson played a delightfully vain Beadle Bamford, deliciously corrupt and not really even hiding it.
Without "Mea Culpa," Jamie Jackson as Judge Turpin had a lot less to do, mainly the duet with Sweeney on "Pretty Women" and the humming, etc. Worked perfectly well; his death scene was particularly effective.
Pirelli was enacted by Nicholas Christopher (also understudy for Sweeney), and he clearly enjoyed hamming it up, althought the sparse set left him with a bit less to work with.
That leaves Ruth Ann Miles as the Beggar Woman; my daughter hadn't finished watching the Hearn/Lansbury video, so [spoiler] the reveal as Lucy at the end took her by surprise.

"Well, Mrs. Lee, this treatment is experimental, but we feel it will improve your condition. All you need to do is sign on the dotted line, and we can schedule you for the first of the week."
The Doctor tapped the form like a used car salesman trying to sell a sports car with no engine.
The kind of salesman who thinks you're too stupid to look under the hood and too desperate to believe the deal is anything but genuine.
That was the beginning of the end of my life.
My name is Pandora Lee, and this is my story.
Two years ago, I was diagnosed with a debilitating bone disease. The kind that causes your bones to be very weak. My doctor sent me to a specialist, and after running some tests and running up a small fortune in bills, he wanted to try an experimental treatment to harden my bones.
I was hesitant; who wouldn't be, but could I really afford to be in my condition?
The following week I arrived for my first treatment. The waiting room was the same bland area I'd seen a thousand times. The sort of forgetable facade that hides the work that goes on behind that unassuming blue door between the show floor and the butcher's shop. Children moved beads along a wire maze as parents and patients looked through magazines that had been current ten years ago. The smiling face of President Obama looked up from a small table as I sat there, he and Martha Stewart sharing space with Better Homes and Gardens and Highlights magazine.
The magazines were only slightly more interesting than the paperwork on the clipboard I was muddling through, but I tried my best to ignore them.
"Mrs. Lee? We're ready for you. "
A young blonde-haired woman in scrubs called to me, smiling brightly as she led me through that oddly dark blue door and into a hallway of the same color. Despite the buzzing overhead lights, the paint scheme made the whole space look shadowy, and I shuddered as she led me to a little room farther down. She showed me to a small sterile room with only a Gurnee and an IV stand to break up the emptiness. The room was blessedly brighter, a kind of eggshell white that verged on eye-watering, and I stepped inside and handed her my clipboard.
"Please take a seat and get comfortable, Mrs. Lee. The Doctor will be with you shortly."
As I lay there waiting, the clean white paper crinkling under me, I had a gut feeling that this was a bad idea. I chalked it up to nerves, though. It was just another exam, just another series of tests, just another meeting that would end predictably.
I should have listened to my gut.
As the doctor walked in, he smiled his best crest kids grin, and I imagined I could see the spit stains on his teeth. I wish I could tell you that he was an ugly little man, some goblin who scared me or made me wish a nurse had stayed to observe our interaction, but he was actually very plain looking. Thinking back now, I can't tell you anything about him other than his big grin and neat little mustache. It might have been easier if he were a monster, but I guess life is rarely easy.
"Well, Mrs. Lee, as you know, this is still experimental. It's in the early trial phase, you'd honestly be one of our first human trials for the treatment, but we feel you are the perfect candidate."
I stare at him blankly, unsure whether he expects me to be flattered or break into applause.
He looked uncomfortable, clearly not getting the response he was expecting. Calling the pretty blond nurse from earlier, he asked her to strap me down so they could begin, and told me to just relax. The straps were scratchy, the clasps sitting cold against my arm, and I found it hard not to squirm as she slid the IV in. The Doctor reached into the hall and wheeled in a large metal canister. It looked like a fire extinguisher, the old kind that you had to crank, except for the face mask on the end that was undoubtedly going over my face.
He must have noticed my apprehension because the too-big teeth made a return appearance.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Lee. It's all very safe."
He placed the mask over my face, the smell of cleaner mixing with something sickly sweet and acidic.
"Breath deep," he prompted, and as I took my first breath, his voice already sounded as if it were coming to me from the lip of a deep hole, "you will wake up in no time."
Then it all went black, my last memory being that the stuff I breathed in tasted like the smell of the cleaner my mother used when I was young.
Then, I didn't think about anything for a while.
I was floating for a while, my body as light as a feather, and I could have gladly floated in that void forever.
When I dropped back into my body, however, it was worse than any falling dream I'd ever had. I opened my eyes and looked around frantically, my body still splayed across the Gurnee as the canister pumped whatever was in the tank into my lungs. I felt a surge of pain rip through my whole body and jerked fitfully against the restraints. A scream ripped up my lungs, the gas clouding my mouth as I choked on my anguish. The nurse ran in, trying to calm me to no avail.
"Calm down, Mrs. Lee. We don't want you to damage your bones while the treatment is doing its job! The pain is only temporary. The doctor will be in to give you something for it and explain everything."
Her words did nothing for the pain that drilled into my bones, and after what seemed hours, the doctor finally came in. He had a needle in his hand, and the tip slid easily into the IV he filled the saline bag with something. It was cold, the liquid flowing in like ice, but the relief was immediate. I lay back gasping, the sudden lack of pain almost as jarring as the pain had been, and the big smile hovered over me like a specter.
"The first treatment is always the most painful, but it seems to be a success so far! You might have some joint stiffness for a few days, but that is to be expected as the treatment hardens your bones."
As the gas hissed and the ice brought sweet relief to my inflamed bones, I lay there drinking in grateful lungfuls of air. The lack of pain was hard to quantify, but I became aware, over time, that it wasn't just the sudden burning that had gone away. The everyday pain I had gotten used to, the enflamed joints and deep ache of weakened bones, was also gone. It was like someone had flipped a switch in me, and suddenly I was exactly like I had been before. This may seem like a small thing, but when you've lived with the pain, made it a day-to-day part of your life, its absence is like a physical loss. I was like a kid who's had his tooth pulled, my tongue probing at the vacancy where something solid had been before.
When he spoke, I had to shake myself back to reality and ask him to repeat himself.
"We will see you in two weeks for your next treatment. The nurse will give you a prescription when you leave. Take it twice a day in order to keep your body from rejecting the treatment. Understand?"
I nodded, still a little dazed, and agreed to take the pills. I made another appointment with a similarly pretty brunette and took the nondescript little bag she handed me. She smiled, saying they would see me in two weeks, and I headed home.
As I drove home, I expected the pain to rear its head again with every press of the pedal or turn of the wheel. The pain had become like a swarm of gnats, ever-present and buzzing. You never got used to it, but you became accustomed to it. It's never comfortable, but you look forward to the times when it isn't there. Now it was just gone. I was driving with nary a pain or wince, something I hadn't done in years.
I should have been happy, but I kept waiting for it to disappear.
Maybe that makes me a pessimist, but I don't care.
When you live like this long enough, you constantly wait for the other shoe to drop.
I walked into the house, my bones still feeling like nothing so much as normal bones, and took the pills out of the bag. Reading over the label for side effects or warnings, I found nothing but instructions on the outside. No name, no ingredients, no warnings, just eight words in bold font.
Take one pill with food twice a day.
I opened the bottle and let a few of the pills roll out onto my palm. They were white a blue gel capsules, the contents looking like the stuff on top of the Snowcaps my husband always ate at the movies. As they sat in my hand, I noticed that they were oddly cold to the touch, and the feeling reminded me of the way the liquid had felt as it entered my IV. When they didn't immediately appear dangerous or try to bite me, I let them tumble back into the bottle and closed the lid. I set a reminder on my phone for seven am and started fixing dinner. When I went to bed that night, I had already forgotten about them, but as I pulled the blanket around myself, I felt a sudden chill arrow through me.
It should have raised some sort of red flag, but I was still riding the high of moving about my home without any of the pain I'd had earlier that day.
A few hours later, I was woken up by an icy chill going through my body, followed by an intense ache in my joints. As I tried to get up, I felt every bone in my body tighten. It was almost impossible to walk, but after a few minutes, it eased up, and I was able to make it to the bathroom. I figured this was just a side effect of the stiffness the doctor was talking about, and after a warm bath, some of the pain had abated. With some of my mobility returned, I shuffled back to bed, hoping to sleep off the pain until it was time for my first dose of the medication.
The next day, the pain of the night before was just a fleeting memory, and I took my first pill and started getting ready for my day. It usually took me several hours to get my legs to cooperate enough to make breakfast, but today I moved about my kitchen in a way I hadn't in years. My joints felt fluid, my bones were as forgettable as they should be, and when I woke my husband for work around ten, he looked at me a little shocked to find breakfast already on the table and the kitchen dishes cleaned and put away.
"Wow, those treatments really did the trick." he said, taking my hands in his big calloused one, intending to kiss them.
He dropped them in surprise as a shudder ran through him. “Jeez, babe. Your hands are so cold!"
There was worry on his face, but I waved his worries away and told him it was nothing.
"It's just a side effect of the treatment. I'll be fine, sweetie."
Deep down, though, I was worried. I should have called the doctor's office right then and there and told them about my side effects. After the weirdness that had happened the night before, I should have been more concerned, but it all comes back to one thing. Despite the stiffness, despite the cold hands, despite the next two weeks where I sometimes woke up in the middle of the night and hobbled into a warm bath, the intense pain in my bones was all but a distant memory. I would have given anything to be done with pain like that, and it turns out the cost was more than I could have known.
Two weeks later, I arrived at my next appointment. I was curious to see if it hurt the same way it had the time before, but my reasons for going were also twofold. I had taken the last of my pills that morning, and I knew I would need more if I wanted to maintain this lack of joint pain. So, I smiled at the nurse, let them strap me down again, let them slide the needle into my arm, and breathed in the gas like the good doctor told me to.
The treatment was performed the same as the first, but I gritted my teeth through the pain as I waited for him to inject my IV with the sweet icy liquid as the gas did its work. As the straps slid off, I nodded through the closing instructions and shuffled up to the desk to make my appointment and get my pills. I moved as if in a dream, my body feeling strangely heavy as I climbed in my car and drove home.
I jerked awake in my driveway, unsure how I'd arrived home. I had never fallen asleep at the wheel, much less sleep drove home, and the thought made me shiver. I grabbed my prescription as I headed inside, wanting to get as far from the vehicle as possible at that moment. I thought about starting dinner as I trudged in but decided to have a nap instead. It was early still, only mid-afternoon, but I was suddenly exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open, and as I slid into bed with the same clothes I'd left the house in, I thought I was settling in for nothing but a couple of hours of rest.
Ten hours later, I shuddered awake into total darkness as an arctic chill shot through my nerve endings. It was worse than any of the ones before it, and as I tried to climb out of bed, my legs froze up and sent me spilling to the floor. I lay there, unable to bend my legs or arms, only able to pull them towards me like palsied claws.
I was overjoyed when I heard my husband's soft snores from the bed beside me. He would help me, he could get me to the hospital, he could get me into a warm bath, and I opened my mouth to scream his name. My lips trembled as I prepared to cry out for him, but no sound escaped my chilly maw. I gasped weakly, his name lost amongst the short barks of sound while he slept peacefully feet away. I lay there with tears of fear dripping down my face, certain he would wake up the next morning to find me dead. I almost expected to see them freeze against my cheeks, but they did little more than pool beneath my head and wet the side of my face.
I spent that night drifting in and out of my new painful existence. It felt like I lay there for weeks, listening to the contented snores of my spouse as my body was racked with freezing chills. I thought I would die again and again, and as the sun began to rise, I almost wished for it. The colder I became, the less the shivers seemed to blow through me. I still felt them, but my body had stopped responding. I was powerless to move, incapable of doing much besides watching the day begin.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because when my husband yelled my name, my eyes were startled open.
"What...what the hell is," but he seemed to lose his words as he stood over me.
I mouthed at him, asking him to help me, but he looked unsure.
"I don't...I don't know how."
I wanted to ask him what he meant, but instead, he turned to my vanity and fetched a small hand mirror.
I looked back at myself, not sure it was me for a moment. I was looking at a perfect china doll as she lay curled up on the floor. Her skin was a perfect alabaster, broken only by the slight spider cracks that ran through it. As I watched, another chill coursed through me, and I saw the cracks lengthen as my fragile form tried to shiver. I wanted to cry, but I had no tears left.
Instead, I told him to put my phone on text to speak and lay it next to my head.
I wanted him to understand, wanted to explain how this had happened while I could still explain anything.
He did as I asked, saying he would get help, but I don't think help will get here in time.
It took a surprisingly short time to lay all this out, but I can feel the change beginning to affect my face now. My blinks are coming slower and slower, and my throat is beginning to tighten as it stiffens like my skin. My lips have started to flake as I speak, the cracks in my arms likely running through the lips my husband loved to kiss. I'll be nothing but a beautiful statue soon, a curiosity piece for people to speculate over, but with the time I have left, I want people to understand how I came to this point.
I don't know if it was the treatment or the pills, maybe it was even both, but it doesn't appear to be as ready for human trials as they believed.
If they ask you to sign your life away as I did, make sure you know what you're agreeing to.
The short respite from pain isn't worth the hell I find myself in now.
It's getting hard to breathe now. My lungs are laboring to pull in breath, and I can feel the same shivers running through them with each gasping pull. My eyes are fixed forward, my fingers forever locked together, and I fear that every word may be my last. If you make it home, Jason, know I love you, and I'm sorry that this is where we must part.

It was way back in the day when it all went down.
Going to my friend’s secluded cottage up north seemed like a good idea until the car wrapped around a tree in the middle of a raging fucking blizzard, twenty miles away from any civilization. I kept trying to convince my friends to stop at a hotel, but the driver and the owner of the car, my old college roommate Pat, kept brushing my concerns off as if the approaching snowstorm wasn’t even coming.
I bet he wished he had listened after the car crashed.
“Shit,” Homie said, pulling me out. “Anything broken?”
“No,” I answered.
The only other friend who was crazy enough to come with us, nicknamed Homie, a big ol' country boy, stood in front of the hood, inspecting the damage as best he could. Based on how smoke and sparks was coming out of the engine, we wouldn’t be able to turn it back on without assistance.
“Are the phones okay? We might be able to call for help.”
Pat showed us his phone, which had broken during the crash, and said, “Like hell, we can. We can’t stay in the car, and if we don’t want to freeze to death, we need to go somewhere to stay.”
He was right. The bumper in the front of the car was compressed from the impact, and after we had all gotten out, a very heavy tree branch had fallen on the roof of the car, crushing the metal into crumpled tinfoil. No way we were going to fit in that car. We were on a dirt road with woods surrounding us on both sides, and the closest town was two miles away.
The snow was heavily blowing down, and as unusual as it sounded, there was a heavy fog obscuring our vision.
“Well let’s at least get moving,” I said. “A crackhead or someone might live along the road.”
They didn’t argue. We put on our jackets, packed all the food and water we could carry, and we prepared to set off down the road, into a snowy abyss.
When Pat pulled out two guns from the trunk, I got confused.
“Why are you bringing the guns?”
I shouldn’t have even asked. When Pat went anywhere near the countryside, he carried at least two high-powered guns, because of an incident that happened a year ago. Pat closed the trunk and walked away, his shotgun in his arms with his revolver strapped to his side.
“There’s… creatures in these woods. I’ve seen them before. You can never be too safe.”
I knew better to question Pat. He was always a cautious, but extremely care-free and reckless dude who always paid attention to all the details around him.
“Alright. Looks like the fucking storm is blowing in hard.” I said.
And with that last comment, we began to walk down the road, searching for anything, anything that would indicate that a single person was out here. As luck would have it, the immense snowstorm was keeping everyone inside, if there were even people living all the way out here. To say that the cold was terrible was a vast understatement. We were only wearing light jackets and two layers of pants, and even that wasn’t enough to keep us warm, given that there was a very plausible chance of catching hypothermia.
“Shit, man. How far did we walk?” Homie asked, once our car was well out of sight.
“We’re not even close,” I said. “Just shut up and wait till we get there.”
“Guys.” It was Pat. His face looked pale as if he was retelling the horrible incident he had gone through a year ago.
So about a year ago, Pat had gone on a camping trip, alone in the woods behind his cottage. It was at the peak of the night when he heard something moving around outside his tent. Something big. When he looked outside, he saw something just beyond the treeline, and he could just make out that something’s silhouette. According to Pat, who almost never told lies or made-up stories, a thing was watching him. He remembered it very vividly. '
It was humanoid, but it wasn’t human. It was eight feet tall, extremely skinny, hairless, and it had antlers with an open head with several glowing orbs in the center. And after all this time, after everything, after all the nightmares, we were seeing the exact thing Pat had seen that night. Expect it was dead.
But it wasn’t just dead, it was mutilated.
Mangled.
The dead creature lay on its back on the side of the road, unmoving. The creature’s entire body was skinny and pale, and its head… was identical to a deer skull, complete with an impressive array of antlers, that were snapped and completely shattered.
One of the creature’s legs was ripped off, and it looked like something enormous had taken a bite out of its shoulder and stomach. The creature was eaten. Killed, by a horror we couldn’t even begin to fathom. And worst of all, the creature looked to be killed recently, with a blood trail heading into the woods. And based on how heavy the snow was falling, the creature would have had to be killed at least ten minutes ago, for the blood trail to not be covered by snow already.
“Holy shit, man,” Homie exclaimed. “Isn’t that the thing Pat saw last year?”
Pat sighed and gritted his teeth. “Yeah. It fucking is.”
I stared at the dead creature, and despite not wanting to know the truth of what really happened, I already knew. Something bigger had killed this thing.
“But something killed it. This thing is already huge, so what killed it must be… enormous...”
Pat looked away from the creature.
“It’s dead, we know. But something killed it, and it’s probably nearby. So I'm going to fuck it up.
I looked at the blood trail heading deep into the woods. Then as Pat walked alongside us, loading shells into his shotgun, we turned, and continued down the dark road.
CONNECTED MYTHOS
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Like many of you I've been experiencing D4 withdrawal since beta ended and while combing through reddit posts like a fiending neckbeard I've been able to distill (somewhat) what I consider (personally) to be the most interesting and crucial debate over the game design, itemization in particular. The issue concerns whether the current, highly gear-(read: aspect-)determined build system is bad or not and how it could be improved (significantly). Beyond just being interesting (to me), I think it also presents the opportunity for the community (maybe) to provide focused and realistic constructive criticism (maybe) that the D4 team might actually healisten to (maybe, or maybe a little bit). In reality, two months in game dev time is likely not enough time to substantively alter mechanics that already play such a fundamental role in the system. But we can dream.
*I had a shit day at work and writing this essay is cathartic, but I apologize for the length, please stop reading if you're not down for some self-absorbed way-too-wordy nerd shit. Stay if you love or want to love the game and have nothing better to do than think deeply about its design (so deep bro...). This is an essay and so a package deal. Humor my terminology and gross verbosity and I think it could be both fun and enlightening (not a promise).*
The Undisputed Part
As we are all aware, in the current D4 system, the effects of legendary aspects are so strong and skill-altering that they (will) play a crucial role in determining (what will be) end-game viable/competitive builds. I know we've only seen 25 levels, can't predict the end-game, disclaimer, disclaimer, etc., etc., but this part should not be controversial. You may not care about competition, or "viability," and just plan to make monster go boom in shiny way (so do I), but we can agree that in the limit of impressive damage, speed, style, etc., legendary aspects and combinations thereof will determine what builds or kinds of builds people push with.
The Disputed Part
Many of those that oppose the current itemization system take issue specifically with how gear-determined the system is and are left wishing it was more character or skill-(tree)-determined. Now, everyone who understands the basic appeal of D4 understands that both your player level and skill tree on the one hand and your equipped gear on the other should each play an important/meaningful role in determining your overall build or at least its potential (add this to the undisputed part--I should have). It all comes down to how this balance is struck with the actualized in-game itemization (and leveling, and skill-tree) system. I've been convinced by those with the most clear, level-headed criticisms in the anti-current-system crowd that the current system might put too much weight on the gear side of the balance.
(I wrote a hasty pro-current-system comment, got criticism I deserved, deleted it, and decided to try again with this after thinking more carefully about both sides. Well played downvoters, well played).
The Skills First View
The most charitable rendering I can come up with for the anti-current-system view I have in mind goes something like this. Call it the Skills First View:
Player choice should play a priority and defining role in determining builds (i.e., a combination of skills, class, and gear). As we level up, we want our choice on a skill tree in particular to feel meaningful, impactful. We want to feel like we are designing our build, creating our character, and growing stronger due to our strategic choices and creative forms of expression or discovery (within the limits of a class). Gear should play a complementary role in allowing use to amplify or maximize the power of the build we have created. Gear should play a necessary role in reaching the full potential of any given build but should not define the build. We should have to (and want to!) grind for gear, but we shouldn't have to grind for the builds themselves (apart from leveling a skill tree of course). As things stand currently, the gear more or less is the build. Skill tree selections and combinations thereof do not feel as impactful as they should precisely because so much power is located in the legendary aspect effects. Both the numbers (e.g., % multipliers) and the skill modifications are so impactful that anyone who wants to make an end-game viable/competitive build is practically forced into a small set of pre-determined build paths based on op aspects and synergies between them (e.g., aspect combos for ww bard, exploding mist necro, twisting blades rogue, etc.). This seems to eliminate player choice, reduce skill-tree impact, and severely limit build variety and creative expression (assuming you want to stay end-game viable, competitive, etc.). On top of that, the current system is highly rng-dependent in requiring you to grind for specific aspects, which can be unnecessarily frustrating if you get repeatedly unlucky (imagine trying to rush a build during seasonal play and be missing an essential aspect for an extended period). This is not remedied by the guaranteed codex system because many aspects are not in the codex, not to mention the forced low rolls. And it's made worse by the fact that you can only use consumable aspects you've extracted once.
The Gear First View
Ok. That was my best shot at representing the Skills First View. Now for a Gear First View. I do not think anyone holds a Gear First View in a way that disagrees fundamentally with or actually opposes the spirit of the Skills First View. We agreed already that there has to be a balance between skills and gear. So things are a matter of degree (how much weight on either side) and how the balance is implemented (does it result in a fun system, does it allow for roleplay, is it technically possible, etc.). However, in constructing a spectrum on which matters of degree can be debated, it is best to have both extremes detailed. So I'll do my best to represent the spirit of a Gear First View:
In a realm as magical, gorgeous, varied, and dark as Sanctuary, the greatest of powers can only be revealed by way of ancient relics. Instruments forged in strife and chaos act as conduit for the Nephalem. Amongst the Great Conflict, they cannot act alone, naked and cold. Balance can only be struck by harnessing artifacts so integral to the fabric of the world and its culture that their path through time has become legend. Donning such artifacts, in the right manner, and with the right intention, is the only way to unlock one's true potential. Some items have been kept hidden by creatures unsure how to wield them. Others were forgotten, left strewn about after ancient conflicts, or transported in shoddy crates for some coin, utterly misunderstood by mere merchants and townsfolk. However, the Nephalem are not so naive. Their purpose is to hunt tirelessly to uncover ones of use to them and to discover what effects combinations thereof can produce. The forebears of humanity are marvels in their own right, but they will never incite true awe without the right gear and mastery of how to wield its unique power. There is still great choice in this matter. There is freedom of expression. Only those most creative and persistent will rise above the rest. However, the forebears will ultimately be humbled harshly if they consider the relics they discover mere accessories to their inner power. It would be hubris to assume descendants could overcome on their own accord. (I don't know actual lore, my b).
And so it goes that in a game that is defined by a rich and intricate array of items of mysterious power it makes sense that gearing and the hunt for the right artifacts across the (new open) world should take priority/center stage. The current system makes sense for a gear-grinding game. That's what Diablo is. Without enough power baked in to the gear, players would lack the incentive and drive to really grind for gear. The gear grind is its own fun factor (for those who enjoy the current system anyway) and having to adapt to drops and build around them (while leveling) is its own type of fun (and skill) as well. Finally, I will add that while some builds are obviously pre-envisioned by developers (e.g., ww barb in some form), I think the sense in which people feel they have been handed down meta builds as opposed to opting for player-created ones is overstated. I can't imagine the D4 team has a list of meta builds on the wall, betting on when players will discover which ones. Just because I go and copy some more dedicated youtuber-player does not mean I've forfeited my own choice or creativity in the matter. And if I can't creatively come up with something better it doesn't diminish the original creators' efforts as merely uncovering some pre-existing meta.
The No Fundamental Rework View
We now can at least see both extremes of the spectrum: all the power should be in the skills vs. all the power should be in the gear. No one holds either extreme. The right view is somewhere in the middle with a clever and engaging implementation in game. The Skills First View prioritizes the impact of skills over gear for the sake of player choice primarily. What I will call the No Fundamental Rework View is compatible/consistent with the Skills First View, but claims specifically that we should embrace the current itemization system with regard to its fundamentals and target changes that would allow the slider to shift from where it currently is on the Gear First side more toward the Skills First side. This would result in a happier medium. The primary attraction of this view is that it is realistic. This is uninteresting from a philosophical or initial game design perspective for sure, but it is highly relevant in this context. We are two months out and it is highly unlikely that the D4 team will make fundamental changes to how itemization works. They might be receptive, however, to non-fundamental changes (in this context, "non-fundamental" would mean something like "actually doable"). So what sorts of view are there on how to change things for the better?
How to Approach Changes to the Aspect System
There is where I turn it over to the community for discussion. My only wish is that that discussion will focus at least a bit on realistic changes or approaches to change that could improve the current system, at least over time (no fundamental changes are occurring before release I imagine). I don't have some grand plan to fix things, and most proposals I read on reddit dig too deep down to what is likely fundamental for the dev team (i.e., untouchable, unrealistic). But I will highlight a few issues or questions that I think could be points of focus for realistic changes:
- The codex is only a subset of aspects. Some (seemingly many highly impactful ones) are drop-only. Is this necessary? The codex rolls are already guaranteed low, so would it be so bad to allow guaranteed/farmable access to all aspects in low roll form, perhaps gated behind some challenging pve/zones? This would reduce rng-dependence and dread over unlucky streaks when trying to farm a build up. This rng-dependence will be even more pronounced during seasons when we have limited time to construct that perfect build.
- You can only use consumable aspects you've extracted once. Is this necessary? This seems to limit the use of certain aspects while leveling drastically in a frustrating and costly way. There is something to be said for having to adapt to drops along the way, but constantly rebuilding is a hassle if the player wants the choice of using a specific build that is highly aspect-dependent.
- Currently some aspects modify skill behavior in significant ways that are akin to talents/typical skill tree changes. Is there a way to categorically partition these from the rest of the aspect effects and treat them differently? Beyond simple tuning/balancing perhaps just these, or some of them, should become skill tree choices. This strikes me as entering fundamental change territory but I know some in the Skills First camp might approve.
- This last one isn't so much a change as just something to think about. From a purely business-driven perspective focusing on play-time, player retention, etc., have some sympathy for the devs working with what has a proven track record of keeping people playing. The highly rng-dependent stuff is definitely time-gating sometimes, intentional or not, but they might know (or have data to support) that erring on the other side of having gear not matter enough is the worse way to go.
I'll leave it at that. You all can propose your own changes if you like. I hope this was at least somewhat entertaining. And I hope to have illustrated that there is less (fundamental) disagreement than there seems to be over D4's itemization, at least philosophically. We all want skills and gear to both matter. We all want to feel immersed in a world that is not ours and yet remain in control as much as possible. Getting the balance right is hard.