I want to preface that I’m not attempting EMDR, on myself or that I intend to. I would like to make the best of my current resources, so that in the future when I do have access to EMDR I am better prepared.
I have very limited resources financially. At the end of this month I will have access to Psychotherapy (free from a local trauma center). I fear this could potentially be more damaging to my healing progress than beneficial. (Opinions?) I can process, reason, and access to traumatic thoughts easily. I believe I have spent enough time on this, and it’s become more so rumination than actually transformative for me personally at this point.
I’ve been taking steps to develop coping mechanisms to handle the feelings that arise without medication, drugs, alcohol, or other negative coping mechanisms. My emotions are raw and intense. All that I’m missing is access to a mentally “safe place” that induces feelings of comfort. I can access negative emotions and memories at ease, positive ones are more challenging for me. I think it would help me tremendously in the future with EMDR, and the upcoming talk therapy, to be able to access comforting memories that induce good feelings. (Advice?)

The consequences to damaging treatment are physical as well and phycological. I have neck and back issues that were treated by a NUCCA specialist. This doctor suggested EMDR as the next step for healing. I carry tension in my neck and shoulders I feel tense up in times of stress. Although it’s a structural injury, stress exacerbates the physical pain and my bodies ability to heal. 

My neck issues have left me unable to work (why I’m limited on resources). I’m eager to heal and progress forward . I want to be careful of doing things that will take me backwards. What should I look into? Any advice?
Thank you for reading this, lots of love.

hey all! There’s a ton of free piles available to me, and I have a truck, but I have no idea of the best way to transport it. Are those big black contractor bags strong enough to hold its fill of dirt? If not, what should I look for when buying bags?

I'm on PRIMAL DC/ FAMFRIT server. Have a fc so more than welcome to join but just looking for a few ppl. To play with regularly. My best friend and I play daily, Usually around 1 p.m. est-6/7 p.m. est on nights I work, nights I'm off I'm on throughout the late night/early morning. She's on and off throughout the day and night, depending on what she has going on that day.
We run just about anything aside from savage/ultimate stuff. Oh, and I main RDM/ WHM.
Please don't reach out or add if you don't actually plan on playing. I've had around a dozen ppl. Add me with most not ever even running stuff together. We can chat here a bit then exchange discords if things work out.
Thanks for reading.

I don’t feel loved by anyone; my friends or family. I shaved my legs for the first time yesterday cause body hair makes me feel dysphoric and my dad got pissed and started verbally berating me. My mum thinks I’m trans and that my best friend is influencing me. She also thinks i have an eating disorder and is constantly on my back about whether or not I’m eating. My dad is homophobic and transphobic and I’m scared to ever come out to them and I’m doing shit in school cause i have so much on my mind right now. I don’t know what to do anymore… one bad day and everything is going to topple over; i have a way out and i will take it…

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Ever wondered what happens when you die? Wonder no longer, and find out exactly what it's like to die firsthand!
I stared at the dark red letters on the screen. Whoever made the mod sure felt edgy while writing it's description. Though, I suppose when you're talking about experiencing death first-hand, the subject matter is macabre enough to excuse any and all blood red text or Thriller font choices that are paired with it.
I stared over at my NeuraLink which I'd left on the bed. "Take VR one step further," the tagine on the box read. The thing was heavy enough to cause neck strain if you kept it on for too long, especially with the electrode box dangling from the back of the head mount. Still, strapping on the helmet and connecting the sticky pads with copper wires running through them did provide what they'd boasted: an experience unlike any other.
I can recommend getting one for yourself, if you don't have one yet. Of course, the thing jacking into your nervous system at first feels weird, but playing an open world game and feeling the wind breeze past your skin, it's... I can't explain it. Oh, and the people that complain about the pain are either exaggerating or missed the thing to exceed its safety limiters. A shotgun blast to the face feels like getting hit in a pillowfight if everything is on default settings.
What I don't recommend, is doing what I did and messing with the settings. Yeah, the potential for porn is amazing, especially when you use some of those programs to jack up sensitivity beyond 100%. Do read the reviews though. I've heard of a few that turn pleasure into nausea, just to mess with you.
But once you get into porn, you end up craving more, or at least I did. Weirder things. What it feels like to have sex as a woman. Getting in a VR fistfight without the pain limiters. Being waterboarded (really didn't like that one.) And eventually, you end up right where I did: reading about a VR recording of someone dying. Was it real or recreated? Why wasn't it taken down yet? Was it just some sort of joke? A bunch of those thoughts ran through my head, but in the end, curiosity won me over. I did the one thing I never should've done: I clicked Download.
A bit of setup later and I was lying down on my bed (helps with the neck pain), booting into the sim. I opened my eyes and, I'm ashamed to admit, recognized the room. If you've ever summed RoHeDo45, you know what I'm talking about. If not, just imagine some creep sitting in his basement pumping out sim after sim of tortureporn, regular porn, and... regular torture. He always uses the same backdrop, though. It's kind of a staple of his.
I find out I'm strapped down to the bed - it's usually better that way. More immersive since most of these sims don't go as far to actually build in motion tracking so you can move around. You're more of a camera with legs for them. An old, bald man with a bushy trucker's mustache steps out of the darkness to the left. I know it's fake, but my hair still stood up when I noticed the Colt in his hand. Yeah, so no buildup, the sim gets straight to business.
His first shot goes into my leg, and I could feel every excruciating inch the hot lead rips through my flesh and muscle. I make sure to have a mouth protector in these days after nearly biting my tongue off once. I reminded myself the pain isn't real, and felt it slowly ebb away. That's one thing the NeuraLink isn't great at, continuous intensity. The short burst of an orgasm is fine, but a bulletwound like that stops hurting after just as long. I'm sure it'll get patched at some point by a modder, but I have to admit I'm rather fond of the bug for now.
I wasn't afforded much time to think, as the next shot burrowed itself into my gut. That spot always hurt. Plenty of vital organs, and your intestines really don't like having all their neurons fire off warnings at once, even if they're fake. Still, I calmed myself, steadied my breathing, and watched as the old man lined up the gun right between my eyes.
And I... took it off. I ripped off the headset and the pads, and was returned to my dark, but safe bedroom in the middle of the night. I heard the bang of the gunshot through the headphones of the NeuraLink which dangled from the side of my bed. I was panting, lying in a pool of my own sweat, all in all just not having a good time. I'm pretty sure I ended up with some mild, temporary PTSD, because I kept thinking that old man from the sim was in the room with me. My real room, not the virtual one. Not the first time I come out of a sim all panicked though, and a couple of breathing exercises later I felt fine again.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking, that I'm a pussy. But don't worry, I'm getting a good night's rest before trying again. And this time, I won't back out. I'll see it through. So keep your comments to yourself. Really, the only reason I'm posting this is as a review of ExperienceDeath.neur, since nobody else has left one yet despite the thousands of downloads. What, is getting killed that good that you're too hooked to write a review?
I won't fail you guys, though. I promise, tomorrow morning I'll be updating this review with what it's like to experience the full thing, so you don't have to. I'm especially curious to find out what happens after the third gunshot, aside from dying of course. When the headphones were hanging off the side of my bed and I was trying to get my breathing under control to calm myself down, I heard something like a voice from them. Which is... weird, right? I mean, you're supposed to be dead in the sim, but there's apparently more that comes after.
Anyhow - that's a mystery I'll solve tomorrow. I'm getting tired and it's getting to the point where I'm starting to smell the same burnt gunpowder in the air that I did in the sim. Maybe I should cut back on my NeuraLink time tomorrow after I see this thing through.

Like he makes valid points. I'm really struggling to help make my mother understand. Like my daughter isn't bald bald. There's a few patches that have a little fuzzy ball of hair, she looks decent to me. I think the kids at school will laugh but I think it's adorable! My s/o had the forsight to leave her edges but I just snatched yours!

APRL FOOLS!!!!!!!

it's been damn near ten years you still falling for this? Sheesh. But fareal yall it's been fun but this probably my last one lol somebody else keep the tradition going. Yall be easy.

[disclaimer, I have mental illnesses. Completely fine if you’re not ok with that, and if you are please tell me to what extent]
Fucked sleep schedule, so location doesn’t matter. I’m passionate about music and I play the guitar and drums. I’m looking for someone to hopefully become close friends with. I dropped out of school due to mental health so I’ll be quick to respond to any DMs. Conversational skills are lacking, but I’ll try my best! I know what it feels like to be ghosted, so I won’t ghost anyone who messages me 👍 hopefully I’ll hear from you soon

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I started seeing this guy and sleeping with him some months back. We got really close and I’d consider us fwb.
Anyways, I got pregnant and after thinking about it a lot I decided that I wanted to keep it. I gave him the option to not be involved if he wasn’t ready/didn’t want anything to do with the baby since we weren’t looking for it and we weren’t even dating. He would have liked me to abort but ultimately decided he wanted to be involved and in the kid’s life.
One day we were talking about the possibilities of the baby being a girl or a boy and deciding a name when he said an specific one. I recognized this name cause it was the same one as the girl his best friend was kinda hooking up with so I got a bit suspicious about it but he ended up saying that it was his aunt’s name (spoiler alert: lie) and that he just liked it. After that I just let it be and didn’t think much about it.
During all this time (the span of like 3 months) he treated me like his gf, his family even thought we were dating. He would take me out with his family, tell me he loved me… even talked about renting a place together in the future to be able to co parent better.
Well, after a while, he started ghosting me giving me excuses like “oh I’m just busy” or “oh so many things going on with my family”. After the 3 months I asked again, if he was sure he wanted to be involved in the baby’s life and that I would understand if he didn’t want to. But yet again, he assured me he wanted to be in it. I tried to update him every ultrasound and medical appointment I had but he would ignore it and get back to me later saying he was “busy”.
Well, after not talking for a couple of months, I find out through Instagram he was dating the girl his best friend was with in the first place and ultimately the girl that he tried to name MY baby after.
Like, I’m honestly just so pissed. He literally tried to convince me to name the baby after his new gf that he probably had a crush on for a while. I laugh about it but my mind cannot comprehend the audacity this guy had to think that would be such a cute idea lmao.
Anyways, I just needed to get this out cause I’m gonna explode if not. I’m currently 7 months pregnant with a boy, he is MIA but I honestly prefer that. Thank for reading!

Haiji is great!! He's the best character in the whole series. None of the other weirdos can even compare. His design's got that luscious hair, he's got that dapper coat over his shoulders, and no other character shares the trait of having a broken arm. He's perfect!
Sure, maybe he made a little comment alluding to certain things here and there... but come onnnn. If we could all forgive Makoto Naegi (from Ace Attorney) for being a peeping Tom, surely Haiji is easy peasy! He's an great villain outside of his romantic preferences, I swear. He's the perfect blend of antagonist for a series like Danganronpa, while you can appreciate him as either a troubled character or an Uber motherfucker.
Haiji is amazing and he should have his own solo game. Haiji is love, Haiji is life. Just hearing his voice can make me quiver. Why haven't you converted to Haijism yet? What, are you a cringe Celestia Simp? Get outta here.

So yeah anyone down for chats? Don’t really have much to do except maybe call with some friends. Down to talk about whatever so feel free to respond with whatever hobby/interest/topic/…!
As for some info about me:
For interests, well I’ve always done sports so can for sure talk about those and am always down te learn new things(be it sports or non-sport related ofc). I’ve also done quite a bit of travelling and plan on doing that alot more, though wasnt really possible with the whole pandemic which sucked but it is what it is…
As for everyday stuff, I’m a student so usually a part of my day goes to that, especially with exams coming up! Not the most fun always but well everyone has to go through it I guess… Though going out and everything surrounding uni makes up for the studying so thats good! So yeah with that I also like just going out with friends or going out in general, be it at someone’s place a cafe,…
Next I can also just talk about most current things or other people’s interests, got some ideas about games, anime and all that if need be! Oh music is also a big one, I’d say try your best to find me new music as I listen to as good as everything! And for sure am always on the lookout for some new stuff. Feel free to recommend whatever genre you got in mind. I listened to metal and rap alot, though nowadays its 90% indie! Oh also used to read, but not so much anymore. Still have gone through quite some books though!
Lastly food is a big one I guess, but dont think its a hobby but I can for sure appreciate good food! Though I’m not the best cook, but that and photography is on the next list of things to get better at!
So yeah I probably forgot a whole lot but feel free to ask away if you decide to message!

Hello,
I am currently pregnant (8 wks) and am in dire need of assistance. I recently lost my job due to a 3 week hospitalization (I was septic and nearly lost my life), which caused me to lose my vehicle and I'm now being evicted. I have no place to go. I haven't had anything to eat in nearly two days. I have no family to request help from. I can't even make it to any of my upcoming doctor's appointments. I also have a fur baby who is out of food. At this point, I'm honestly scared that we're going to starve/end up homeless.
I have CashApp, PayPal, and Venmo. If anyone has at least $20 dollars they can spare so I can feed myself and fur baby - would be greatly appreciated. I’m also open to any suggestions, advice, etc..Anything helps!
Thank you in advance 💜

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my parents (44f, 43m) are getting divorced and my mom is making it incredibly difficult for everyone. also i’m apologizing in advance is 5:30am and i haven’t slept so it’s not gonna be worded the best this is also my first post i didn’t know where else to go :,)
i (19f) have two siblings (18f and 13m) my sister is heavily autistic and my brother is a trouble maker, he’s already been arrested before. my parents started their divorce because my mom cheated on my dad right after i graduated high school. now my family has never been the picture perfect family but it was okay, now my dad lives in california (we live in florida for context) he originally moved because of a job offer he couldn’t pass up, he was only supposed to be there for three months but decided to stay indefinitely. i used to be really close to my mom but after i found out how my dad found everything out i lost all respect for her .
(i apologize for all the details but i have no one else to tell, she sent nudes to someone and ended up getting black mailed out of 500 dollars she took from my dad) now my mom is acting like she’s 20 and has no responsibilities, my dad pays for everything, the house in fl, his rv in cali, groceries for my siblings and i because my mom refuses, the power, water, wifi, literally everything. she has a nice car and doesn’t even pay for that, though she’s supposed to. i’ve only called her out on this once, i told her she’s acting like she figured out 20 years too late she didn’t want kids. she’s always at her boyfriends house. she’s never home anymore, and when she is she only is for the night and is gone in the morning. my dad is constantly upset because he hates that my siblings and i have to go through this.

he’s offered for me to move in with him in cali so i have better options college wise and i’m seriously considering it. my only issue is my life here, i have a long term bf i’m very serious about and my best friend of 5 years i don’t know if i could live without. i hate living with my mom but she won’t let me get my license, she won’t let me get a job, so i can’t even save up to move out because she doesn’t want me to leave and lose her free babysitter. on the days i don’t see my bf i rot in my room and play video games. i don’t know what to do, i’m so stressed i really could use some advice. i’ll answer any questions, thank you for reading this i hope you have a nice day/night 

Hey everyone,
My partner (21F) and I (21M) have been seeing each other for a little over 4 months now but I am ready to break things off. However, I am currently living abroad and am on a trip (I am coming back in 2 days) and because we live apart from each other and would have to take a train to meet one another, I am uncertain as to how to go about this. She still lives with her parents so I am feeling incredibly anxious as to where would be the best place as well as what to text her leading up to it. Everytime she texts me I get anxious and clammy feeling and I feel so guilty. If anyone can give me some advice on when/what would be the best text to send prior as well as recommendations to where the best place to break up would be, Id really appreciate it guys. Thanks
TL;DR am on a trip and want to break up with my partner when I come back but because she doesn't live alone I don't know what to say leading up to it or where to meet.

Anyone?
Due to how much i abused mdma when young, i realized that i basically ruined my chance of using it for therapy. As ive burnt out the brain to such extent from mega doses, so the dose that i need and if doing double dose, the total amount basically makes me feel like i did hard drugs the days after. wich ruin the "feel" of doing this therapy to get better.
i think i might just leave MDMA behind, and venture into psylocybin, wich i feel is so much better for life questions. But these last months ive had such a longing to see if i can cure some of the self hate/trauma, with mdma, and just get to experience love again.
but my last time made me feel like a drug addict, as i prob had used a vitamin that work on MAO A so i got no effect more then a high, zero empathy and love. So i just dosed agan and again and fried my brain even more. yes really dumb i know but i was so dissapointed that the effect dident come so i had to dose again.
i just bought 2g of a new batch, but it gave me so much anxiety ... as im now in a state in my life where everything is about self improvment, i cant do drugs and feel euphoria and be drained for weeks. i need the psylocybin effect, feeling reborn and strong afterward. not braindead and weak
I know what you are thinking, "just dose it lower", "just do one dose and no refil". well i got a addictive personality and it seems like this is just impossible. i want the roll to continue, and i need like 250 mg + 200mg, no 120mg + 80mg like some here
So now i really regret my order... i think i need to leave MDMA behind, and let you guys experience it. I really wish that i would have done less when growing up, cause i really created a dirty energy with it.
Instead of how you guys are using it, coming form a life long trauma, never done mdma or just a few times growing up - then it can have CRAZY improvments in life
but for me, ive done it so much and so high dosing that i gave myself a mitochondria disease, leaving me with chronic fatigue and chronic pain. not mdma specifically but serotogenic drugs, that were legal 10+ years ago, those who are alot stronger then mdma
So now when i do mdma, it triggers these side effects, pain all over the body and extreme fatigue. so this really leaves me with a dirty feeling ... as you might understand.
Damn, im so pissed i ruined one of the best healing agents due to abusing it when younger.
But i think i need to pass on the healing to you guys.
I might try it again later on, but now its time for therapy with psylocybin and get my life back in order.
Have anyone tried just doing ONE dose mdma? 250mg ones. as i heard avoiding redosing gives alot less sides. but i also know that it will basically feel impossible to not redose.
So its better just to leave mdma for now, and let you guys use it.
Just wanted to vent out some toughts. sorry for the spelling. Have anyone been in the same boat ?

To clarify: The only reason why I'm writing a post about this is because it's had a bit of a reoccurring theme that's concerning to me. I've had two other dreams that have some of the same exact elements as this one. Being unable to move, a pitch black figure, suffocation, someone grabbing me, and my heart beating incredibly fast. All of these dreams have shown up at least once or twice over these past three years. I just want to know what it means, and if it's health related or maybe even paranormal. (I hope it's the latter.)
My dream started off with me being in my favorite class of the day, laughing and talking to my friends. A few seconds in, someone slowly grabs onto my shoulders. They had a very tight grip despite being very bony hands, and I felt my body run cold. At first, I believed it was a classmate named 'Jacob' (since he's a generally creepy dude) just being weird again, so I told him to stop touching me. It slowly gripped my shoulders tighter and tighter and I kept repeating "Stop touching me," until it fully wrapped its arms around my shoulders. I realized that it was most definitely not my classmate after that.
Next thing I know, I'm awake and I feel normal. My phone is playing a song I recognize, and my tv is illuminating my room as usual. I blink and then I see some dark, pure black figure looking at me. It wasn't too bad because it had this sort of glitching effect that made me aware that I was probably making it up, so I decided to try and move to get away since it didn't seem real. I told myself it wasn't real over and over. I tried to move onto my side to get to my phone, but it felt like something was restricting me from doing it.
It didn't really hurt but it felt like I was being suffocated. My heart was beating so fast that I decided it would be best to stop and calm down first before I give myself a heart attack. I gave up and tried to call for help instead. I heard my mom and my brother talking on the other side of the door, but nobody ever opened my door. After that I woke up in the same exact position with the same exact song playing where it left off, and everything felt normal after that.
Please help me figure this out.

I'm looking into getting pet insurance but have a few questions.
Let's just say I had an emergency for my dog, and had to rush him in. Let's just say he swallowed something and needed surgery. Would the insurance cover it right away? Or am I going to have to pay that full amount and the insurance would reimburse me? Or would I tell the vet I need to make a claim and they will bill me?
I guess I'm just confused. What is the best insurance for doggies?
TIA

I was unschooled by my parents, and then moved online before being forced into half online half in person highschool. I'm now nearly 22 and have no life or social skills, and I've spent my entire adulthood so far thinking I was a fuck up and a terrible person and a burden until I found this subreddit and saw how many people are having my exact same issues. I don't even know how to express how it's making me feel, I've never been happier to know I'm not alone, I feel like maybe there are more people out there like me, but it also makes me so mad that this isn't just a my family issue, and how many people its happened to. It's very overwhelming, but I'm also very happy to have found this subreddit. All of this is so hard to deal with and until now I thought I was entirely alone.