Pokemon perler beads

Try r/beadsprites!

2011.08.07 08:52 PerlerbeadDude Try r/beadsprites!


2008.09.11 22:55 Pokémon: Gotta Catch 'Em All!

pokemon is an unofficial Pokémon fan community. This is the place for most things Pokémon on Reddit—TV shows, video games, toys, trading cards, you name it!

2011.01.11 18:08 pksage reddit: pixelated bead art

A place for pixel art made from fuse beads.

2023.05.29 14:18 Plastic_Stage4545 Looking to sell UK offers p

Looking to sell UK offers p
These are from a childhood collection so some are better condition than others and 1 or two have slight damage but would look great in a binder. Some are really great condition for their age. Looking for offers really and preferably in the UK to make shipping easier. If there’s interest and someone that potentially wants to take them all I can do individually photos front and back.
Thanks guys
submitted by Plastic_Stage4545 to pokemoncardcollectors [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 00:41 Particular-Money3577 Made some newborn kit perler bead things for myself

Made some newborn kit perler bead things for myself
One is made with big perler beads, one is based off of my cat when she was a kitten, one is glow in the dark :)
submitted by Particular-Money3577 to ClanGen [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 22:21 CodeNameReckless I made Battie!

I made Battie!
My first attempt at making something with perler beads. It could be better, but I’m pretty happy with it! I’m still planning on making the tag.
submitted by CodeNameReckless to HadesTheGame [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 19:53 Shakhin My collection

submitted by Shakhin to pokemoncollectors [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 19:20 warau_yui Groovy candy earrings by fabi_treasures !!

Groovy candy earrings by fabi_treasures !!
Hello!! I'm a model for fabi_treasures on Instagram! They sell handmade perler bead earrings, I had the pleasure of modeling their Lilia ones! Shop opens mid August, they have designs for almost all TWST characters' groovy candies and also plan to sell Obey Me designs in the future, please check out their Instagram if you have time!
submitted by warau_yui to TwistedWonderland [link] [comments]

2023.05.27 21:14 danidi116 I Made Pedro Pascal as Joel in Perler Beads

I Made Pedro Pascal as Joel in Perler Beads submitted by danidi116 to thelastofus [link] [comments]

2023.05.27 05:57 Redaus20 Designs/patterns?

Hello everyone! I’ve been hard at work making a “Kandi sash” but want to stem out from the typical 1 bead around bracelet. I love seeing all the cuffs and different things you all make but can’t seem to get the hang of it based off any videos I’m finding. The best one I made was a 3 tier but I think I made it too tight? Honestly I dunno ha. Also if someone could please help with Perlers! I can’t find a regular peg board to make the cool bigger designs, I only have the small heart star circle etc.
Thank you in advance!!
submitted by Redaus20 to kandi [link] [comments]

2023.05.27 05:17 cragunation Perler Bead Imperial Knight

Perler Bead Imperial Knight
Another perler bead creation of mine. I've ventured into unfamiliar territory with bending beads. With some hot glue and a few failures first, I now have a basic model.
Finished knight
Circle plate pieces (shaped while still hot)
Hex plate pieces
Square plate pieces
submitted by cragunation to PoorHammer [link] [comments]

2023.05.27 02:17 Psfanboy79 Octopath Traveler 2 Agena perler bead sprite commission

Octopath Traveler 2 Agena perler bead sprite commission
Left: Front/Bead-side Right: Back/Melt-side
submitted by Psfanboy79 to octopathtraveler [link] [comments]

2023.05.26 19:43 CottyCheese [FO] Really loved the colors in this so I had to do one. The 2nd project I did after some little starter kit my gf gave me for Christmas

[FO] Really loved the colors in this so I had to do one. The 2nd project I did after some little starter kit my gf gave me for Christmas
Perler bead pattern originally found on Pinterest. Took around 30 hours to complete
submitted by CottyCheese to CrossStitch [link] [comments]

2023.05.26 06:58 gubuks My 3rd pull, maybe I should open sets other than scarlet and violet

submitted by gubuks to pokemoncards [link] [comments]

2023.05.24 06:11 Necromeowncerarts Walking Wake Perler Bead

Walking Wake Perler Bead
I wanted to do some scarlet/violet perler beads, and realized I haven't seen anyone else do a walking wake. He's hella cool so I took it upon myself to make one :)
submitted by Necromeowncerarts to beadsprites [link] [comments]

2023.05.23 22:33 Ok-Profit5226 My Madeline perler bead that I made awhile ago

My Madeline perler bead that I made awhile ago submitted by Ok-Profit5226 to celestegame [link] [comments]

2023.05.23 18:23 Smoke00 SC Pixel Art: Perler Beads

SC Pixel Art: Perler Beads submitted by Smoke00 to starcitizen [link] [comments]

2023.05.23 17:40 Bhizzle64 Stop judging damage modifying effects based solely on base stats (AKA why azumarill does so much damage)

So pokemon has a lot of various effects that can modify damage in the game. Some of which get pretty strong. When evaluating these effects, it can often be tempting to judge their impact based solely on their base stats. After all, the huge power ability doubles attack, so why not evaluate the impact based on doubling the base attack stat? The issue with this approach is that, there are more factors that go into a pokemon's eventual stat than just the base stat. These being, EV's and IV's, and natures. I'm assuming people on this sub know what EV's and IV's are. The important thing to consider with these damage and stat modifying effects is that the ability to modify EV's and IV's allows you to get more value out of them than you normally would. Huge power effectively allows you to invest 62 IVs, 504 EVs, and double nature bonus into your attack stat, which makes a massive difference in practice. Take Azumarill for an example. Azumarill has base 50 attack and has huge power. The simple logic would be that this means azumarill effectively has a base 100 attack stat. Anyone who has faced azumarill in game could tell that azumarill is far stronger than a simple base 100. When calculating the bonuses out in a calculator, a level 100 Azumarill with maximum investment in attack has an effective attack stat of 436, far higher than the 328 of base 100s. This attack stat is more comparable to Groudon's base attack stat of 150 which results in an effective attack stat of 438 when maximally invested. So yeah, that's why azumarill does so much damage.
Of course, while huge power is the biggest beneficiary of this, there are other pokemon that effectively have attacking stats far higher than what you think they would as a result of the ability to boost their damage through abilities. for the sake of simplicity, all of these examples are using maximum ev's iv's and a beneficial nature for the relevant attacking stat.
nidoking's sheer force makes his base 85 special attack, more equivalent to a base 125 when using moves that trigger the condition for sheer force.
chi-yu's ability bead's of ruin makes it's base 135 special attack, more equivalent to a base 196. Ever wondered why that fish deals so much damage? Now you know.
Finally let's take a miraidon. When using a NON-ELECTRIC move in the electric terrain that it sets up upon switch in. It makes it's base special attack attack stat, which is usually a modest base 135, equivalent to the power of something firing off an attack with a base stat of 196 like chi-yu. When using an electric move, it has the equivalent of a base stat so high that I am unable to calculate it properly because it exceeds the game's maximum base stat limit of 255 that is used as a restriction in showdown's damage calculator. The closest I could find would be a pokemon with huge power and a base 110 attacking stat, for reference mega mawile had 105. So yeah, no wonder miraidon got banned to AG in natdex. The thing hits absurdly hard.
I could go over other examples of this, but I think you get the point. Abilities that boost damage/stats are a lot stronger than they seem when just going off base stats, and they already look strong!
submitted by Bhizzle64 to stunfisk [link] [comments]

2023.05.23 14:36 kylemccoy I made Sector 7-G out of Perler Beads!

I made Sector 7-G out of Perler Beads! submitted by kylemccoy to TheSimpsons [link] [comments]

2023.05.23 02:34 1GloFlare Quick question

Quick question
How can you tell a legit PSA label from a fake, what's the difference? Have my eye on the Team Rockets (seller has both 1st & unlimited editions)
submitted by 1GloFlare to IsMyPokemonCardFake [link] [comments]

2023.05.22 10:15 4cit I made Ramon out of Perler beads!

I made Ramon out of Perler beads!
2nd egg done! I’m hoping to make all of them eventually.
submitted by 4cit to TheQSMP [link] [comments]

2023.05.20 21:03 Psfanboy79 Octopath Traveler 2 Partitioyellowil perler bead commission, really like the customers choice of pose.

Octopath Traveler 2 Partitioyellowil perler bead commission, really like the customers choice of pose. submitted by Psfanboy79 to octopathtraveler [link] [comments]

2023.05.20 14:54 YoKai_NeXus Mono fish team. Yes I know Pelipper isn't a fish but QtheCostaRican had a Ttar on his mono ghost team for the Houndstone so fuck it, I'll use Pelipper for the rain abusers.

Mono fish team. Yes I know Pelipper isn't a fish but QtheCostaRican had a Ttar on his mono ghost team for the Houndstone so fuck it, I'll use Pelipper for the rain abusers. submitted by YoKai_NeXus to stunfisk [link] [comments]

2023.05.19 22:01 Intelligent_Bear_953 Bead haul 🤗

Bead haul 🤗 submitted by Intelligent_Bear_953 to beadsprites [link] [comments]

2023.05.19 21:01 CringeyVal0451 The Misadventures of Funky P. Beard and Shadowrun Mayhem

The Misadventures of Funky P. Beard and Shadowrun Mayhem (an RPG Horror Story)
Author's Note: STP flammming, PREPS! Sorry... I couldn't resist!
In all seriousness, I want to admit that this is a throw-away account. The beard in this story is dangerous and mentally ill. So I'm trying to fly under the radar with this one. Thank you for understanding. More importantly, thank you for taking the time to read my cringe! Whether 2 people or 20 people read this story, I'm grateful for every single reader. You matter. Much love! So let's get into it...

OP (that’s me!)
Female, late 20s
Grad student
Emo Girl with purple hair
Nerdy, petite, beard bait

Funky P. Beard (FPB)
Male, early 30s
Tall and lanky with a bushy, black, hobo-chic beard
Maître D at a hip restaurant
Very promiscuous
Very possessive
Anger issues (to say the least)
Raging alcoholic
Street Samurai

The GM
Male, early/mid 30s
Kinky bastard, charismatic, charming, cult-leader vibes
Likes exhibitionism, vomit, and illegal substances
Very amusing, always nice to OP
The only person who seems capable of getting FPB to behave

Male, mid/late 20s
Grad student
Funny, attractive, charming
Usually able to ignore FPB’s psycho behavior
The primary target of FPB's jealousy

Male, early/mid 30s
Assistant GM
Host of the gaming weekends
Typically level-headed
Skilled in martial arts

Female, early 30s
Sage’s girlfriend
Co-host of the gaming weekends
Intolerant of FPB
Petite, friendly, probably also neckbeard bait

Male, late 20s/early 30s
The funny fat guy (NOT a neckbeard)
Easy-going, friendly, rarely directly involved in the weekend’s drama
Likes weed

This is the story of the time I endured a full weekend of Shadowrun with my psycho neckbeard boyfriend, FPB. F stands for “funky.” B stands for “beard.” I’ll let the reader figure out what the P stands for...
And if you enjoy Shadowrun, please don’t be offended. Shadowrun itself was NOT the problem. In fact, I later grew to adore the game. But for the purposes of this tale, my narration will primarily remain from a noob’s POV. And please keep in mind that Shadowrun is a TTRPG with captivating lore, exciting gameplay, and an unnecessarily convoluted system that can suck every ounce of fun from an otherwise entertaining experience. Because of this, many teams choose to make their own rules. The GM of FPB’s team took this to the extreme.
And if you're more into beard cringe than RPG horror, please continue reading. Due to factors that will soon become apparent, the gaming mostly serves as an excuse to gather, drink, hang dong, and make FPB to beardy things.
Ultimately, the unfathomable alcohol intake of FPB and his buddies, the lack of sleep, the projectile vomiting, FPB’s righteous anger in response to the GM’s mandated pornography breaks (and other kinky shenanigans), the piss jars, the shit bucket, FPB’s (often violent) outbursts, the stench of the house and back porch after a night of binge-drinking and barfing, a late-night visit from one of FPB’s randos, FPB’s countless overreactions to my gleeful participation in the team’s crass humor, T-shirt Gate, the Axe body spray fumigation, the semen retaliation, and the utter physical and emotional exhaustion I experienced during the fallout were the factors that contributed to my general impression that the weekend was hellacious. Although, now that I think about it... I did have quite a lot of fun whenever FPB was unconscious (or in “time out.”)
Chapter 1: Thank You for Smoking
It was late one Friday afternoon, and I was pulling up to FPB’s place, steeling myself for a full weekend of a tabletop RPG I had been studying all week. As a grad student at the time, I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be spending my leisure time reading lore, making character sheets, and learning a new set of vocabulary. This felt like HOMEWORK. In truth, the homework I had to do for school was more entertaining to me, since it was in my chosen field and I would eventually use what I was learning to make a living in the real world, doing something I actually enjoyed.
But I was determined to be a “good girlfriend” and learn as much as I could about my neckbeard boyfriend’s most important passion and meet his closest friends. In the back of my mind, this was yet another last-ditch effort to improve the relationship. Maybe bonding over Shadowrun would make him gain some respect for me, lower his aggression, and possibly even allow us to finally have fun together. If this failed, I had every intention of trying to break up with him... again.
So allow me to paint you a picture of FPB. He was an unconventional neckbeard who occasionally exhibited symptoms of “nice guy syndrome,” although you wouldn’t immediately know that he was a neckbeard just by the looks of him. He was tall and lanky, he could very convincingly behave like a normal human being in public (when he wanted to), he was obsessively hygienic (with one revolting exception), and he was almost always well-dressed. Oh, and he never once wore a fedora. Although he did own a samurai sword.
He also had a bushy, black, hobo-chic beard that served as a flavor-saver for all the random, unwashed carpet he munched. He was extremely supercilious, fancying himself a man with Ned Stark’s honor and Tyrion Lannister’s intellect (despite repeatedly banging multiple married women, publicly slandering innocent men, stalking numerous people, committing countless acts of vandalism, and flunking out of college as a freshman). But he most definitely did possess Tyrion’s more debauched qualities, especially the alcoholism.
And he was an insufferable gatekeeper. We had plenty of common interests, but I often found myself on the receiving end of disparaging remarks or even full-blown character assassinations because I liked one of our common interests in a slightly different way. For example, we initially struck up a convo because I noticed that he had Jack’s chain tattoos on his wrists. This was a reference to Bioshock, one of my favorite video games of all time. But Bioshock Infinite was my favorite game of the franchise, and FPB preferred the original game solely for its critique of Objectivism. Instead of focusing on our mutual love for Bioshock lore, FPB insulted my intelligence and would launch into a diatribe if he caught me playing Infinite. You get the idea.
And as for his living space? Well... first and foremost, it wasn’t HIS. He lived in an upscale townhouse that he was “housesitting” for his older brother. It was littered with liquor bottles, full ashtrays, overflowing bags of garbage that he refused to take out, insects, rodents, rodent faeces, and many, many, many, personal hygiene/grooming products. Lavish ones that he had nicked from the bathrooms of his more highfalutin hookups. His skanky hookups didn’t own any personal hygiene products.
But the beard-nesty mess was mostly confined to the kitchen and the dining room. FPB’s bedroom contained a quite bit of bric-a-brac and it was littered with liquor bottles, but it was otherwise devoid of garbage and free of miasma. And his bathroom wasn’t gross. It was... weird. There were dozens of pink ladies’ razors on the floor of the shower and in the sink. This was because FPB manscaped obsessively. And even more luxury beauty items that he’d stolen from his highfalutin hookups covered every square inch of the countertop. Two bottles of Jo Malone bath oil framed FPB’s true love... his fleshlight.
But he valued his Shadowrun weekends above all else. He’d missed weddings, funerals, dates, job interviews... and he never worked the lucrative Friday and Saturday night shifts at his job (that could have tripled his income) because he couldn’t forsake his precious Shadowrun weekends. These gaming marathons lasted from sundown on Friday evening until sundown on Sunday evening. EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.
He had only ever missed four Shadowrun weekends since their team had formed five years ago. On three of these occasions, he had been in jail. Once for a DUI, once for filing a false police report, and once for public urination/vandalism. In other words, he had peed in the gas tank of his (then) girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because... reasons? The fourth missed Shadowrun weekend was the result of the host banning FPB from the house because he had pubic lice in his beard.
So why the hell was I dating this specimen of human garbage? That’s an excellent question and the answer is a very long story for... later. In all honesty, I don’t think I’m capable of fully explaining it, even with the help of hindsight. All I’ll say for now is that FPB kept “the crazy” extremely well hidden for a considerable length of time. The proverbial mask was engineered by remarkable prosthetists, cleverly concealing the troll underneath until he had enough leverage to ensnare me.
I made my way to FPB’s front door and let myself in. Yes, I had achieved the relationship milestone of getting a KEY. I gag when I remember how proud I was of that “accomplishment.” As I entered the house, I could hear the shower running in the master bathroom upstairs and I could smell the cotton candy-scented bubble bath that I had brought over for my own personal use. As I waited, I took the Shadowrun guidebook out of my backpack and combed through the pages that addressed Decking, the matrix, and sample character sheets. Then I looked over my own character sheets. My stats were pitifully low since I was coming in as a new character and I knew of no way to give myself any kind of starting advantage. But FPB told me that the team needed a Decker or a Technomancer, and I settled on playing a Decker since the guide books said that Deckers weren’t “targeted” by enemies the way Technomances were.
I was trying to muster the optimism to imagine that this would be a surprisingly fun weekend and that I would be hooked on Shadowrun as soon as I’d experienced it fully and gotten the hang of it. Spoiler alert... I ended the weekend having only the flimsiest notion of how the game worked. All I can tell you is that it genuinely sounded like a fun game at first. I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more if we had spent more time actually playing the game instead of drinking and watching porn, or if FPB hadn’t constantly interrupted the game with his irrational outbursts.
FPB soon descended the stairs, smelling of cotton candy and Romance by Ralph Lauren. Yes, FPB *always* wore women’s perfume. His logic was that men’s colognes were actually designed to appeal to MEN, while women’s perfumes were designed to appeal to WOMEN. From a marketing standpoint, it makes sense since the wearer is the one who has to smell himself/herself all day. But he had read an article on the internet suggesting that you should wear opposite sex fragrances in order to attract the opposite sex. And he wasn’t entirely wrong. His male friends mocked him for it, but women *did* seem to fawn all over him in public, gushing about how delightful he smelled.
I also noticed that FPB was dressed to the nines. I had always just done my own thing during the weekends since I didn’t think I could muster the energy for a 48-hour gaming session. So I had no idea that it was a formal occasion! I was wearing yoga pants, a tank top, a light hoodie, and sneakers. And I had packed a weekender backpack with all the essentials. I mean... We were basically going to a slumber party, right?
FPB: Why are you wearing THAT?
Me: What’s wrong with my clothes? I thought this would be kind of like a slumber party and I wanted to be comfortable.
FBP: This is important to me. You’ve left a few dresses in my closet. Would you kindly get dressed for the occasion?
What the hell was about to happen? I thought we were going to play a TTRPG. Suddenly, I feared that we were secretly heading to some sort of Eyes Wide Shut style sex party. My hands got cold and clammy.
Me: Okay... If it means that much to you, I certainly don’t mind getting dressed up... But level with me. Where are we REALLY going?
FPB: TO PLAY SHADOWRUN. I told you. I take this seriously.
I sighed. “Whatever. I’ll change.”
FPB: Make it fast!!! We have to be there by sundown!
I rifled through his closet, found a black cocktail dress, threw it on, shoved my comfy clothes into my backpack, and emerged.
FPB: Why are you still wearing sneakers?
Me: Again... I thought this would be a super casual thing.
FPB: We’ll have to stop so you can buy some nice shoes.
Me: Are you KIDDING?
FPB: You don’t have heels or a pair of those douchey hipster flats lying around here?
Me: No...
FPB harumphed.
On the way to the host’s house, we stopped at a DSW. FPB wanted to stop at Nordstrom or Bloomingdale’s, but I was a grad student on a budget.
Me: I’ll be quick. 10 minutes tops. You just wait here.
FPB: No, I need to approve the shoes.
He followed me into the shoe store, and I quickly settled on a pair of black vinyl Mary Janes.
FPB harumphed again. “You’re such a hipster,” he muttered.
Had he never seen his own reflection??? Was he completely unaware that the restaurant where he worked as the maître D was one of the most hipster-y hot spots in all of Wellsprings?
Me: Listen, they’re comfortable, they’re affordable, and I’ll definitely wear them again after tonight. You know I hate heels. Are they really that bad?
FPB took a closer look, and then he unfurrowed his brow. “No, actually they’re really cute. You’re really cute.” He leaned down to kiss me, a rare gesture from FPB. I stood on my toes and strained to meet him, and he swiftly turned his face away.
FPB: Psyche! You LOSE!
On what planet does a “great boyfriend” behave this way? And make no mistake, FPB fancied himself Boyfriend of the Year.
We got back in the car. I shoved my socks and sneakers into my poor backpack that was nearly bursting at the seams. I bucked the new shoes, sat back, and took out a cigarette. When I rolled down the window and flicked the lighter, FPB completely lost his mind.
Me: I was thinking I need to calm my nerves before we hit this mystery party, and I wanted to have a cigarette.
FPB: We have to arrive FRESH.
Me: You constantly smoke in the car. Why is tonight different?
FPB: For these occasions, I do NOT smoke until the game gets going.
I put my lighter away and stuck the ciggy back in the pack. At this point, I just sat in silence and steeled myself for the worst.
FPB: You’re playing a Decker, right?
Oh, so he was still keeping up the pretense that we were going to “play Shadowrun.”
Me: Uh-huh. A Sleaze Decker, so I’m sneaky.
FPB: Okay, so you’re buying a kick-ass deck, right?
Me: I read that it was better to spend your money on high-tech ware as a starting character.
FPB: NO. You have to spend ALL your nuyen on a deck. Otherwise, you’ll be no help and the team will hate you. And you know we don’t use icosahedrons, right? We use regular dice.
Me: I know. I was disappointed, remember? D-20s are cool!
FPB: Yeah, they look cool. I guess. Whatever. Did you buy some?
Me: D-20s? No...
FPB: No. WE DON’T USE THOSE. Follow my thoughts, woman! Did you buy regular six-sided dice?
Me: Was I supposed to??? I thought the GM or the host would have dice.
FPB: They do. But we’re all supposed to have our own. The more unique, the better. And you have to get a nice drawstring bag for them. Preferably velvet.
Me: I’ll get some of my own if I decided to play again. And I have a velvet bag that I got at Medi-E Fest (the medieval festival) a few years ago.
He nodded. Curtly, expressionless. Why was I feeling like such a failure? And why wasn’t he being more supportive of me as a novice? I’m sorry... a NOOB. I mean, we could have gone to a gaming store together to buy dice, right? It could have been a bonding experience and gotten me pumped for the game. Oh... I bet one of his randos worked at the gaming store, and that’s why he didn’t want to be seen there with me.
We soon pulled up to the host’s house. It seemed like a perfectly normal home. It wasn’t a mansion. It wasn’t a dilapidated crack house. It was in a very normal-looking suburb just outside of the city. If this was a sex party, it was a low-key one, and that scared me even more. There’s nowhere to hide when it’s a small gathering.
I got out and followed FPB to the house. He opened the door and strolled inside as though this were his second home.
FPB: Helloooooo?
A guy with dark, tousled, should-length hair and some light scruff, wearing tattered band t-shirt, distressed denim shorts, no shoes, and a *cigarette* hanging out of his mouth ran up to greet us. He and FPB did some sort of manly handshake/hug combo, and then he turned to me.
“So you’re the one who managed to settle this idiot down? I’m Sage. Sage the Mage. Welcome to our dystopian future!”
I laughed and shook his hand.
A dude who looked alarmingly like the typical neckbeard rounded the corner. He was chunky, and his face sported a sparse beard that did indeed go all the way down his neck. He was wearing a Pokemon shirt, and actively puffing away on a cigarette.
“I’m Snorlax,” he said in a very normal, very friendly voice. And he flashed a cherubic smile.
I introduced myself and offered a handshake. Snorlax hugged me. And I was pleasantly surprised to find that he wasn’t smelly. I suppose some would say that the cigarette made him smelly, but it smelled delightful to me at the time! And might I add that his bottom half was clad in worn, grey sweatpants?
Me: Snorlax, do you mind if I ask you about the dress code?
Snorlax snort-laughed. “You’ve been listening to FPB, I take it. He’s full of shit. He’s the only fool who dresses up. And he’ll be buck naked by tomorrow morning. Just wait.”
FPB was staring daggers at Snorlax. And let’s be clear. Snorlax is absolutely NOT the beard in this story. He’s a sweetheart.
Me: Then you guys won’t be offended if I change back into my comfy clothes?”
Snorlax (gesturing to the left): Not at all. Ladies are permitted to use the restroom.
Me: And guys... can’t?
Sage and Snorlax looked at each other and cackled.
I made a dash for the bathroom. It was relatively clean. Nothing horrifying. A few mildewed towels on the floor. Some mystery gunk in the sink. I didn’t care. I changed back into my comfy clothes and completely dispensed with footwear of any sort.
As I emerged, I ran into a petite woman with beautiful, curly hair, freckles, and cute round glasses. She was wearing black and white polka-dotted pajamas.
Me: Hi! I’m OP, FPB’s girlfriend. I’m so happy to see another girl here!
She hugged me. “We’ve all been wanting to meet you! I’m Athena, Sage’s girlfriend.”
Sage passed by and waved at us, still smoking his cigarette.
Me: FPB talked like smoking wasn’t allowed here until the game starts. But everyone else seems to be smoking...
Athena: It’s fine! Light on up! I don’t smoke, but I’m literally the only one who doesn’t. And I’ve become totally nose-blind to it.
I hugged her again. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!”
Athena (laughing): Sure thing! FPB has his own ritual. We don’t even try to understand it. And feel free to stash your stuff in the guest room right behind me.
Finally feeling a bit more at ease, I stashed my bursting backpack, grabbed my cigs and lighter, lit up, and made my way into the living room.
FPB’s face reddened. “You’re SMOKING???”
A chorus of “Aw, come on,” and “Get over yourself,” and “Let the lady smoke,” filled the room. FPB looked embarrassed.
Two other team members had joined by that time. The GM’s name was Mori and he was wearing a black tank top (covered in suspicious white stains) and sheer, light blue boxer shorts. No shoes. He had very short, hot pink hair, and a long, braided beard with pink streaks, tinsel, and a few crystal beads woven into the braids. Sitting on the sofa, there was a final surprisingly attractive guy with a well-groomed beard and floppy, dirty-blond hair, wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and combat boots. His name was Axton. Mori and Axton were both smoking.
Mori: Welcome, OP.
I nodded and smiled. “Happy to be here.”
Axton: Glad to finally have a fellow techie here.
Me: Don’t count on me being any good...
Axton: Just roll the dice and have fun! I can show you around the matrix if you’ve got any questions.
Me: I’ll definitely have questions. Apologies in advance.
Mori stood on the fireplace and opened his arms towards the rest of us.
Mori: The team has assembled. And now... The time has come...
Everyone leapt up and shouted “PRE-GAME!!!!!!!” They pounded their chests and performed something resembling a tribal dance.
Mori: To the fuel station!
Apparently, the kitchen was the fuel station.
Mori: We at last have a seven-member group, so the Ritual of the Seven shall bring us excellent fortune in this weekend’s mission. Chummers... Take your positions.
At the kitchen table, there were seven neatly arranged sets of seven shots of...
Mori: Fireball. Each tincture shall light a fire in our bellies, improve out spell-casting, and lead us to victory.
Holy crap... There was no way in hell I could down SEVEN shots of Fireball whiskey. Surely these were intended to be spread out over the course of the weekend? Or at least over the course of the night?
But as the rest of the team gathered around the table, I noticed that everyone, even petite little Athena, was slamming all seven shots in rapid succession.
I drank two. And then I stopped. But that was when FPB did something truly shocking.
FPB: Hey... guys? This is OP’s first time, and she really can’t handle her liquor that well. Can we give her a pass?
Mori: One more shot, and we shall grant you a pass. Next time, you must take 4.
Me: Are you being serious?
FPB puffed his scrawny chest up and towered over Mori, continuing to defend the honor of my uninitiated liver... Mori laughed.
Mori: Nah, I’m kidding. Put the other shots in the fridge. We’ll all be wanting another one before long.
FPB actually helped me carry the five remaining shots to the refrigerator. He leaned over and whispered, “Mori’s gonna fuck with you. Call him out on it. Otherwise, you’ll wind up with his dick on your face.”
Me: Yeah right.
FPB: No, I’m serious. He’s a kinky bastard. I woke up with him tea-bagging me last weekend.
I laughed hysterically. “That’s just some frat guy crap. He doesn’t scare me.”
FPB: Just wait...
Mori called us all into the living room, or the “War Room,” as it was known during gaming weekends.
Mori: The Rules!
Everyone groaned. I was actually starting to find this evening entertaining! All of the team members seemed super nice, even kinky Mori. Nobody reeked. Everyone seemed socially adept. This might not be so bad!
Mori: If you glitch, you must take a shot of Fireball to boost your skills. OP, you may take a SIP of an alcoholic beverage. But only for tonight.
I nodded.
Mori: The second time you glitch, you must kiss my staff or endure a smack in the face from my staff.
FPB (under his breath): He means his dick.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
Mori: All subsequent glitches will result in escalating staff punishments, the anal gaze, removal of armor, or a spanking.
FPB (under his breath): He’s not kidding.
I remained wildly amused, and my shoulders were shuddering a little from stifling my laughter.
Mori: Anything the team deems an epic success shall be rewarded with a shot of Johnny Walker Blue.
So both rewards and punishments involved alcohol? Somebody was definitely going to hospital with alcohol poisoning before the weekend was over.
Mori: Finally, leaving the War Room outside of designated break times is not permitted for gentlemen. Ladies may use the restroom for any of the 4 Ps.
I opened my mouth to ask the obvious question.
Athena: 1 is pee, 2 is poop, 3 is puke, 4 is period.
Mori: Gentlemen, you have all be given piss jars, and there is a shit bucket under the conference table (the coffee table) should a more serious urge arise.
I turned to FPB inquisitively.
FPB: He’s serious.
Mori: And if you must vomit, do so where you sit. Another member of the team will clean it up as punishment, should they glitch. Ladies, you are not exempt from any punishment, despite your restroom privileges.
Holy hell, this whole situation sounded positively revolting! And also kind of hilarious (if you were to ask the 12-year-old who still takes over my brain on a fairly regular basis). But I still had my doubts that Mori’s rules were anything more than a show.
Mori: Place your hand on your chest and pledge your loyalty if you agree to this; and take off your pants if you object.
I placed my hand over my heart, as if I were back in primary school getting ready to sing the national anthem. No one took their pants off.
Mori: Then the planning for infiltrating the Horizon Group commences... NOW!
FPB lit a cigarette at last.
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