The mods predictably shut comments down, as this topic is polarizing, but as a professional dog trainer, I had this to say. I wanted a to reach a larger audience so I'll share this here.
I commend you and respect your decision more than you know. I've been a balanced trainer for almost two decades, anvjhh it's one of my biggest hopes that we will see the stigma surrounding behavioral euthanasia will lift because I don't have enough fingers and toes to equal the number of times I've weighed and laid out for owners and concluded that BE was the kindest, most responsible, and most of all, the RIGHT choice. Because these dogs, and before anyone gets sand in their ass crack about it (and I would hope my fellow honest professional dog trainers will back me up on this), the majority of which are pit bull type dogs, must meet certain criteria to meet that places them snugly in the category of "Irreparable - Too Dangerous". For anybody with logic, the pit bull and it's close cousins are bred for fighting and bull baiting or hunting. It's just common sense that a type of dog created for that type of activity are going to have alheightened aggression. Terriers in general were all need for one reason, and that is to kill. Every single breed. And they're all quite scrappy anyway. To have a dog that possesses this as a genetic trait takes accepting and rearranging your life and learning to keep people safe from your dog and vice versa.
It's not a decision that I take lightly (although when I come to a conclusion it is made there on the spot - it's very easy to assess what you should do with a dog in terms of training or medication, and of course, BE. And I'm not biased in terms of being heavy handed when I give them my professional opinion, it doesn't matter the breed. I have told owners of 5lb dogs that unless they were willing to put up with it, that was on them, but that my recommendation is that they elect for behavioral euthanasia. I had a couple of veterinarians in area the area whose numbers I'd provide them with who were willing to perform the operation, because a surprising number of vets will not help ease the mental pain suffered by a dog who cannot voice it's anguish. As long as it is physically healthy, it shouldn't be out to sleep, is their logic.
But a life spent constantly tense, in a perpetual state of hypervigilance, finger snap personality changes, anxious, told by your brain something is wrong and the answer is violence, or just being true to it's nature as a dog, which is where a dog is just wired to carry out the cycle of predation; locate , stalk, chase, bite, maul, kill. This genetic trait can be more problematic to ever solve since it is a self rewarding behavior; tack that on a breed already predisposed to genetic aggression and you can have a dog that is far too dangerous for anyone less than a seasoned trainer to ownand those types of unicorn homes with no other dogs, other animals, kids, frail people, or close neighbors and are super vigilant when they're out tnd anal retentive when it comes to keeping the dog contained securely are as rare as their namesake. Part of our job as canine professionals is to not only evaluate and trainer a dog, it is also to make sure you are not putting everyone in the community in danger. Even if your dog "just" kills the neighbors cat, it wasn't "just" a cat to them just as your dog isn't "just" a dog to you. That cat was family to somebody.
Scenario:Now imagine you didn't rationalize that your dog killing something without provocation. Your dog is out of control. You consult with a trained professional (say, me). We talk and establish that your dog checks of the majority of the boxes in the section marking candidates for BE.
You allow the trainer to see the dog in it's home environment, in it's territory (a short 5-6 blocks up and back around and back (hopefully coming across some triggers so I can observe and see if it is manageable, and in an unfamiliar place, where we get in the car and drive somewhere the dog has never been and observe the behavior then, then assess the owners training and management ability. A weak or incompetent trainer simply is not acceptable and not everyone is good with animals. They simply cannot read body language, pick up cues, expert enough authority over the animal, or effectively communicate with the dog in a way it will understand, or come across to me as chronically irresponsible, lazy, wilfully ignorant and refuse to take direction, too constitutionally weak to handle a dog that represents a safety concern, that is all take into consideration when I offer you my final decision. Behavioral euthanasia is the best and kindest option and that I can walk you through it. I help you to understand it is not a failure on your part, or what you could or shouldn't have done. Sometimes a dog just isn't wired right. It could seriously hurt or kill someone including you in the blink of an eye. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't, and when a clear pattern of dangerous behavior. Every single owner of a dog that seriously injures or kills someone says "But he never did that before."
You decide to disregard this advice, thinking it cruel or evil, or thinking I'm taking the lazy way out, question the trainers integrity and judgment and skill because "So-and-so from YouTube doesn't give up on his clients. All dogs can be fixed, I just need a different trainer, a better trainer
I see you around on FB, your feed is a continuous documentary of your catastrophic attempt to own and safely manage a dog that's a walking time bomb; " Today Zeus almost killed another dog for no reason at the dog park today. I just don't understand we've been working with trainers and he was doing pretty good, he even played with this same dog last week now I'm asking for prayers for all of us"
You almost don't want walk him anymore, but he needs to go out, right?
The walk is lovely until you turn the corner and uh-oh! Zeus literally turns you into a human kite soaring along behind you as it pursues a particularly tasty child with their faithful object of your dogs fixation originally. It tears the into other dog, being at eye height, the child is severely bitten, mauled or even killed. Yes, it happens. At least once in the 60 ish on average canine inflicted deaths in my country, the US.
When I recommend BE, it is for the sake of the dogs mental health because a life of severe neuroses you neither understand nor can explain, or spend you life doped to the gills under lock and key 24/7, or warehoused and forgotten to languish and take up teousrces for years. You should ALWAYS be present during the euthanasia of your pet, even if it breaks your heart. One, because you need to be there to provide emotional support and hold your dog while they administer the sleepy time juice. And if you don't stay with your animal and leave it anxious and confused to be PTS in the already stressful vets officer, you're a dick, full stop.
AND AND AND. You also NEED to be there and see for yourself that your dog really has passed on, check for a pulse when the vet announces TOD to you. There really are vets out there who will go as far as deeply sedating a dog when an owner they gauge naive enough to have their dog pumped full of enough anesthesia to knock out a horse and it suppresses respiration, they tell the owner the dog is gone and sneak it out the back door to take home because again, they're ARAs, which is much different than the superior support of Animal Welfare. If you're not there for the procedure, there is a high chance of some do gooder who just takes the dog and flips it and puts it in some random home, where oftentimes someone is hurt severely.
ATTENTION: Did you know there are only two freaking states in the entire US where it is *required by law for shelters to give the dogs bite history to you?* That's right, 48 states don't have to tell you your new pet was in the shelter for almost ripping the previous owners kis face off. Sickeningly, there is even a "nom-profit charity" called "The Lexus Project" who devotes MILLIONS to slimeball lawyers whose purpose is to represent dogs who have SEVERELY hurt or killed people, one such famous case is with Mickey pit bull in Arizona who almost ripped his owners young kids face off because he was a resource guarder. People blamed the kid for a dogs bad behavior and they came and the mayor of some town nearby adopted the mutt and gave it a lavish life while anti human pit worshippers sniffed his farts for rescuing a "poor innocent pibbles tortured into having to fight for his life from an evil six year old". It's pretty sick and you can Google it; it's pretty bizarre and sick to me. Most of the dogs are, surprise... Pit bulls.
The reason I never advocate rehoming these dogs, not only is it irresponsible as fuck to place a dog whose unpredictable aggression is so bad that a loving owner decided it wasn't safe to have anymore, but again you have to weigh the risk to a community. Sometimes even one attack is enough to take a life.
It's a difficult choice to make. Don't beat yourself up. You are releasing your dog from it's mental prison and taken a lot of anxiety and stress surrounding your dog lifted from not only yourself but the entire community. I'd suggest finding a reputable breeder next time who knows what they're doing mixing genetics and breeding anomal
---_-------------

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Ive been outta work for a while, and got made fun of by a girl as she said no girl wants a jobless guy. And that girls have their own jobs now so why should they talk to me?
Which is kind of odd ( as myself having an MS finance, for whatever weight that may carry), because the accounting and math of employment in the US...is far from reflective of efforts, merit, and most of all; is FAR more likely than not, to compensate with wages that are far, far, far below the idea of 'success', or even offer financial independence, let alone appreciable personal savings and goals. Even without that thought, I wouldn't see myself as anything to brag about if I didn't give someone a chance based on their legal employment basis or earnings. And if I did, Id only be fooling myself, because I'd be caught in so many fallacies.
Real world Example: At $12/hour, working full time, as a single person with no dependents, opting for pre-tax deductions of insurances, and then using the adjusted value accordingly to continue on with Federal/State/Local (in my case I dont even have local taxes).
One would net $687/Bi-weekly. That is $1,374/Month. You'd have a hard time finding a place to rent alone, for less than $1000. And that doesnt include utilities.
Okay, so you've managed to somehow pay the deposit , the activation costs of utilities, and I wont even include the costs of moving/furnishing/homecookware etc. You've popped the $1,000, and now have that $374 to spend on showing the world that you ARE succesful and independent! You work full time and work hard! Aha, wait. Even low-balling national median prices for a fraction of your other costs, will exceed this $374 quickly. Cell? $50. Domestic Supplies?( Laundry detergent, hygience/cleaning items) $50. Internet? $50/month...(these are comically low-ball prices btw) Electricity?$80 Food? Ah, well you only have $144 left...From a survival perspective, possible, but you wont feel very good or feel much like yourself. But, what about your car? its insurance? Easily $150-$400/Month. You're already tapped out, exhausted, surviving off rice and beans. But what about your water bill? What about $ to have even a dollar put into a savings account? What about student loans, credit cards, those teeth, your medical co-pays, your Rx costs? Hell, you don't even have $10 if you get a flat tire. You don't even have a few hundred for that rotten tooth in your mouth, to get a root canal and crown.
//////////////
Ok, $12/hour Fulltime scenario is nothing short of a total delusion of financial independence. But, that just means I'm not good enough or smart enough to earn enough! *POOF* WOW! suddenly I am! I make $20/hour. Relative to the rest of the country's wages, this is a rarer wage, and higher than most people's wages in the US.
$20/Hour @ 40-Houweek
$3,200/MONTHLY GROSS WAGES
$38,400/ANNUAL GROSS WAGES
--------------------
Pre-Tax deductions of Health($90/BiWeekly)/Dental($7.5/BiWeekly)/Vision($2.5/BiWeekly)
MONTHLY TOTAL INSURANCES DEDUCTIONS: $200
ANNUAL TOTAL INSURANCES DEDUCTIONS: $2,400
--------------------
MONTHLY TAXABLE WAGES: $3,000
ANNUAL TAXABLE WAGES: $36,000
--------
STATE TAXES: $1,190
FICA: $2,754
FEDERAL: $4,114.38
TOTAL TAXES DUE: $8,058.38
--------
TOTAL WAGES NET ANNUAL: $27,941.62
TOTAL WAGES NET MONTHLY: $2,328.47
TOTAL WAGES NET BI-WEEKLY: $1,164.23

A whopping $2,328.47 for the young stud who earns MORE THAN OVER 2/3 of the nation in wages. Ladies and gentleman give this special little boy a balloon!!
While median rent is reported to be $1,770/Month...Lets have some faith in this earner. But REMEMBER! He is earning a higher wage, its rare for areas with very low rents to commonly feature such jobs. So, lets see to it he still gets a 'good deal' at renting a musty apartment for $1,300/Month. Well, like before, bills come-a-knocking. Utilities of electricity, internet, water rack up to a modest $200. Hes got some basic prepaid service plan for $50, nothing fancy, hes a savy guy. Hes gonna need more than rice and beans to keep up that life of high pay, but still manages to get groceries down to $100/Week. $400/Month. Now, mind you that includes sales tax, so its less than what may come to mind! This guy is not getting a room that cheap in an area where he wouldn't also need a car, lets use some reason here. But hes savy as they come baby. He blew his savings for that $8,000 2003 Corolla. Insurance is pecking at him for $120/month, could be worse. Now, we've reached a point where he now has less than $300 across the month to fulfill: Medical Co-Pays, Auto Maintenance, Gasoline, Any form of eating out/entertainment, All clothing, Furniture, A phone, A computer, Student loans, credit cards, emergency health services, haircuts, and everything else that life demands of us even without a kid.
It would be nothing short of remarkable for this individual who is financially independent to save $10/month. Working 40 hours/week is exhausting too, doesnt leave much time for taking care of things yourself, which can be costly too.

So, $20/hour, at relatively low costs of living, isn't anything sustainable long term. Sure are alot of people on Reddit who claim "I make this and Im independent and Im fine!" Im sure their story of pulling up their bootstraps by themselves and maintaining any dignity of life are more so part of a narrative they hold; rather than real-world finance.
Call it all bullshit if you want. I go by the numbers. Job or no job, you're not in a fairy tale. You're in a loose labor market, where fiduciary duty to shareholders/company agents are law. Not owed to you, but to the investors/company agents. I haven't even touched on the fucked up realm of costs and income when having a kid is involved, a health condition, care taking, or any other situation which can wreck everything. SaaS has been offsetting jobs for a decade, AI is too, and there is not homogeneous opportunity across the US.
Its incredible to me, how unaware so many people are. They can't be bothered to comprehend that the majority of problems for people in the U.S. stem from inequity and lack of money. The mental health implications of having to accommodate the need for money to survive and stay out of prison, and the mental health implications from people who internalize these things as if it was their fault. As if they were born as the problem. As if their emotions and life were wrong and despicable. So much of posts here can be attributed to a lack of resources and the implications of it. Resources are sent to the dumpster en masse, not because they are truly unusable, but solely so that we cannot have it, without handing over enough money. Buried in the earth, just to make damn sure, those people dont get em.
So, before you even *suggest* that someone isn't trying, isn't worthy, doesn't care, because of not having a job, not having their own place, not having their own car, not getting the healthcare they need, not being able to afford participation in things, or even afford being a parent... Remember. You're more than likely, calculably wrong. And promoting the internalization of capitalism and the moral construct of poverty. You would fit right in, with the category of scum in society, what keeps it so horrible, and what holds humanity back.

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An Alternative to the “Night of Lights” Might be a “Night of Remembering”
J. Burkes MD 2023
Contactees report having recurrent dreams sometimes called the "night of lights" in which the nighttime sky is full of flying saucers. It is a wish dream that I must admit I have fancied as well. In my opinion however, this will not likely take place anytime in the conceivable future. This is because such an awesome event in my judgment would probably trigger a terribly violent human response. I suggest something very different might happen if current trends continue.
Thirty-eight years ago, I met Dr. John Mack in Moscow at a physicians’ peace conference. It was 1985, the year that our “International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War” won the Nobel Prize for educating government leaders and the public about the dangers of nuclear arms race. Later John Mack MD went on to write the important book “Abduction.” There he describes the strange way in which some contact experiencers called “abductees” suddenly recall having encounters with aliens that they believe happened decades before.
This kind of sudden "remembering", initially happening on a small scale is less threatening than a “night of lights” with our skies full of “craft.” I believe this is especially so for those clandestine elite groups that I imagine it is their job to keep a lid on the flying saucer situation. These groups appear to be quasi-governmental/quasi-corporate entities. In my opinion, they are likely responsible for what has been called the “UFO Truth Embargo.” Such elite factions operating in secrecy are sometimes referred to as the “control groups.”
THE MENTAL LINK
Psychological and parapsychological factors play important roles in the UFO contact drama unfolding all around us. Unfortunately, many so-called "mainstream" ufologists fail to grasp that a consciousness connection is the key to understanding the human-UFO intelligence relationship. Groups like the Mutual UFO Network approach flying saucers mainly as if they were an engineering problem. The focus is on the shape of the craft, its flight characteristics, the color of the lights and other physical parameters. After over 50 of collecting reports filled with such details, not much has been learned about the intelligences responsible for flying saucers. In my opinion, although MUFON is still a popular organization with thousands of members, its approach to the UFO challenge is both uninformed and unenlightened.
Mainstream ufology with its emphasis on sighting reports stands in marked contrast to the work of the network of contact activists that I like to call the “Contact Underground.” This international endeavor involves volunteer contact workers staging Human Initiated Contact Events (HICE) during field investigations. Such efforts are popularly known as CE-5s. I have been involved with this kind of outreach since 1992. Contact activists view the mental aspects of the phenomenon as crucial for deciphering the mystery of flying saucers.
SIGHTINGS ARE NOT RANDOM EVENTS
After years of study and numerous sightings of UFOs during HICE, I now believe that there is no such thing as a random sighting. I am suggesting that every true sighting of a UFO, with few exceptions, occurs while there is a telepathic link between the witnesses and the non-human intelligence responsible for the phenomenon. Thus sightings should be viewed as staged events in which individuals and groups are specifically targeted to have an encounter.
If this is true, then the implications of this proposition are staggering. It is estimated that between one and ten percent of the world’s population has had a bona fide UFO sighing. On a planetary basis, this translates into perhaps hundreds of millions of people. If the consciousness connection is as widespread and robust as I suggest it is, then each of those hundreds of millions of individuals might at some time in the future start to remember what they believe are past encounters in the same ways that Dr. Mack’s witnesses did.
A COLD WAR WITH UFOs
A hidden aspect of the human UFO relationship has been a kind of clandestine cold war between flying saucers and terrestrial military forces. Given the extraordinary secrecy surrounding this issue, it is understandable that the few reports we read about military encounters with flying saucers are probably the tip of the iceberg. In other words there have been many hostile engagements.
In my judgment, there have been losses of personnel and material on both sides. This is a rather dispassionate way of stating that humans and what we call “ETs” are being killed during armed conflict.
Given such a sorry state of affairs, “the night of lights” in which the sky is full of saucers would understandably be perceived of as an “invasion.” A less dangerous plan to help humanity grasp that we are not alone in the universe might involve having increasing numbers of people gradually recalling encounters that they believe are contact events from the distant past.
For those of us that want a peaceful outcome for the challenge of flying saucers, this “remembering” of what may have been prior encounters would probably be much safer for both any extraterrestrials flying around Earth and those that might be tempted to try to shoot them down.
About the author: Dr. Burkes volunteered as a Working Group Coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative from 1992 till 1998. He has continued to study the flying saucer phenomenon working with the Foundation for Research into ET and Extraordinary Experiences (FREE), The Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) and the Peruvian contact network now called Rahma. Joseph Burkes MD is co-author of the book “Paths to Contact” edited by Jeff Becker. He also has co-authored a chapter on UAP associated medical healings with researcher Preston Dennett in the FREE compendium “Beyond UFOs.”The newly formed Consciousness and Contact Research Institute has published an anthology called “A Greater Reality”in which Dr. Burkes has written a chapter titled “Report from the Contact Underground: Human Initiated Contact, the Consciousness Connection and the Virtual Experience Model.” He retired from the Southern California Pemanente Group after thirty-years-service in 2008 and is a board-certified internal medicine physician licensed to practice in California.
For additional “Reports from the Contact Underground” the following link is provided:
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com

An Alternative to the “Night of Lights” Might be a “Night of Remembering”
J. Burkes MD 2023
Contactees report having recurrent dreams sometimes called the "night of lights" in which the nighttime sky is full of flying saucers. It is a wish dream that I must admit I have fancied as well. In my opinion however, this will not likely take place anytime in the conceivable future. This is because such an awesome event in my judgment would probably trigger a terribly violent human response. I suggest something very different might happen if current trends continue.
Thirty-eight years ago, I met Dr. John Mack in Moscow at a physicians’ peace conference. It was 1985, the year that our “International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War” won the Nobel Prize for educating government leaders and the public about the dangers of nuclear arms race. Later John Mack MD went on to write the important book “Abduction.” There he describes the strange way in which some contact experiencers called “abductees” suddenly recall having encounters with aliens that they believe happened decades before.
This kind of sudden "remembering", initially happening on a small scale is less threatening than a “night of lights” with our skies full of “craft.” I believe this is especially so for those clandestine elite groups that I imagine it is their job to keep a lid on the flying saucer situation. These groups appear to be quasi-governmental/quasi-corporate entities. In my opinion, they are likely responsible for what has been called the “UFO Truth Embargo.” Such elite factions operating in secrecy are sometimes referred to as the “control groups.”
THE MENTAL LINK
Psychological and parapsychological factors play important roles in the UFO contact drama unfolding all around us. Unfortunately, many so-called "mainstream" ufologists fail to grasp that a consciousness connection is the key to understanding the human-UFO intelligence relationship. Groups like the Mutual UFO Network approach flying saucers mainly as if they were an engineering problem. The focus is on the shape of the craft, its flight characteristics, the color of the lights and other physical parameters. After over 50 of collecting reports filled with such details, not much has been learned about the intelligences responsible for flying saucers. In my opinion, although MUFON is still a popular organization with thousands of members, its approach to the UFO challenge is both uninformed and unenlightened.
Mainstream ufology with its emphasis on sighting reports stands in marked contrast to the work of the network of contact activists that I like to call the “Contact Underground.” This international endeavor involves volunteer contact workers staging Human Initiated Contact Events (HICE) in the course of field investigations. Such efforts are popularly known as CE-5s. I have been involved with this kind of outreach since 1992. Contact activists view the mental aspects of the phenomenon as crucial for deciphering the mystery of flying saucers.
SIGHTINGS ARE NOT RANDOM EVENTS
After years of study and numerous sightings of UFOs during HICE, I now believe that there is no such thing as a random sighting. I am suggesting that every true sighting of a UFO, with few exceptions, occurs while there is a telepathic link between the witnesses and the non-human intelligence responsible for the phenomenon. Thus sightings should be viewed as staged events in which individuals and groups are specifically targeted to have an encounter.
If this is true, then the implications of this proposition are staggering. It is estimated that between one and ten percent of the world’s population has had a bona fide UFO sighing. On a planetary basis, this translates into perhaps hundreds of millions of people. If the consciousness connection is as widespread and robust as I suggest it is, then each of those hundreds of millions of individuals might at some time in the future start to remember what they believe are past encounters in the same ways that Dr. Mack’s witnesses did.
A COLD WAR WITH UFOs
A hidden aspect of the human UFO relationship has been a kind of clandestine cold war between flying saucers and terrestrial military forces. Given the extraordinary secrecy surrounding this issue, it is understandable that the few reports we read about military encounters with flying saucers are probably the tip of the iceberg. In other words there have been many hostile engagements.
In my judgment, there have been losses of personnel and material on both sides. This is a rather dispassionate way of stating that humans and what we call “ETs” are being killed during armed conflict.
Given such a sorry state of affairs, “the night of lights” in which the sky is full of saucers would understandably be perceived of as an “invasion.” A less dangerous plan to help humanity grasp that we are not alone in the universe might involve having increasing numbers of people gradually recalling encounters that they believe are contact events from the distant past.
For those of us that want a peaceful outcome for the challenge of flying saucers, this “remembering” of what may have been prior encounters would probably be much safer for both any extraterrestrials flying around Earth and those that might be tempted to try to shoot them down.
About the author: Dr. Burkes volunteered as a Working Group Coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative from 1992 till 1998. He has continued to study the flying saucer phenomenon working with the Foundation for Research into ET and Extraordinary Experiences (FREE), The Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) and the Peruvian contact network now called Rahma. Joseph Burkes MD is co-author of the book “Paths to Contact” edited by Jeff Becker. He also has co-authored a chapter on UAP associated medical healings with researcher Preston Dennett in the FREE compendium “Beyond UFOs.” The newly formed Consciousness and Contact Research Institute has published an anthology called “A Greater Reality”in which Dr. Burkes has written a chapter titled “Report from the Contact Underground: Human Initiated Contact, the Consciousness Connection and the Virtual Experience Model.” He retired from the Southern California Pemanente Group after thirty-years-service in 2008 and is a board-certified internal medicine physician licensed to practice in California.
For additional “Reports from the Contact Underground” the following link is provided:
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com

On March 21, arithmetic stocks (data centers, AI chips, CPO, etc.) were again sharply stronger.

In news, overnight Nvidia released a dedicated GPU for ChatGPT, claiming to increase inference speed by 10x.

Also in recent days, ChatGPT users around the world have been finding error warnings popping up on the site due to a large increase in access, and even privileged Plus accounts have not been spared.

The latest research report of Anxin Securities has made an inference on GPT-4 arithmetic power demand: GPT-4 has increased its inferred arithmetic power demand to more than ten times due to the increase in complexity and the addition of image recognition function.

NVIDIA Releases ChatGPT Dedicated GPU, Increases Inference Speed by 10 Times

On March 21, Beijing time, Nvidia CEO Jen-Hsun Huang announced the inference GPU (graphics processor) H100 NVL designed for ChatGPT at the 2023 GTC developer conference, which stitches together two of Nvidia's H100 GPUs to deploy large language models (LLMs) like ChatGPT, according to Punch News.

The only current GPU that can actually handle ChatGPT is the NVIDIA HGX A100, and compared to the former A100, a standard server with four pairs of H100s and dual NVLINKs can now be 10 times faster, reducing the cost of processing large language models by an order of magnitude, said Jen-Hsun Huang.

In addition to custom chips, NVIDIA also released cuLitho, a breakthrough lithography computational library. NVIDIA announced that after years of collaboration with TSMC, ASML, Synopsys and other companies, it has launched a new computational lithography application that greatly reduces the time and energy consumed by chip foundries in this process, ready for the arrival of 2nm and more advanced processes.

In addition, NVIDIA has launched DGX Cloud, an AI supercomputing service, NVIDIA AI Foundations, a cloud service that accelerates enterprises to create big models and generative AI, and the world's first GPU-accelerated quantum computing system in partnership with Quantum Machines.

Jen-Hsun Huang said that the AI industry is in an "iPhone moment" - startups are racing to build disruptive business models, and industry giants are looking for ways to respond, and are making bold statements - "NVIDIA is about AI. -Nvidia is to be the TSMC of AI!

On the domestic front, Jen-Hsun Huang said that in China, it has special customized Ampere and Hopper chips, these will be provided through Chinese cloud providers, such as Alibaba, Tencent, Baidu, these companies to provide the ability to land, fully believe that they have the ability to provide top-notch system services, for Chinese startups will certainly have the opportunity to develop their own large language models.

Google chatbots are also coming, AI big models lead the arithmetic layer for long-term benefits

On Tuesday, March 21, US time, US tech giant Google Inc. launched a beta version of its AI chatbot Bard in a bid to compete with OpenAI's ChatGPT.

Bard, which will run separately from its Google search engine, currently generates answers in English only and currently offers access to users on a waitlist on a first-come, first-served basis. Google says over time, Bard will be adapted to more languages as well as rolled out to more regions.

Axiom Securities pointed out that ChatGPT, GPT4.0, Microsoft 365 Copilot, Wenxin Yiyin and Google Bird were released one after another, and the AI big model represented by ChatGPT and its initial application "stirred up a thousand layers of waves".

It said that with the release of multimodal large model GPT-4, the pace of applications based on text, pictures and other vertical scenarios is expected to accelerate from 1 to 10, similar to the blossoming of various types of APPs in the mobile Internet era, and the competition pattern will gradually intensify. And analogous to the late 19th century "gold rush" in the western United States, a large demand for shovels, jeans, it believes that the GPGPU as the representative of the arithmetic infrastructure as a large model of AI base will benefit long-term stability.

GPT4 arithmetic power demand increased to more than ten times

The latest research report of Anxin Securities made an inference on GPT-4 arithmetic demand and future trends: GPT-4's speculative arithmetic demand increased to more than ten times due to the increase of complexity and the addition of picture recognition function.

It said that OpenAI CEO Sam Altman pointed out in a public interview that GTP-4 has 20 times more parameters than GTP-3 and requires 10 times more computation than GTP-3; GTP-5 is released at the end of 2024 to 2025, which has 100 times more parameters than GTP-3 and requires 200-400 times more computation than GTP-3.

The bottleneck of arithmetic power is not in the absolute size of the arithmetic power, but in the cost of achieving that arithmetic power. From the perspective of cost, Guoxin Securities has also made a calculation on this, which according to the public data of GPT-4, the cost of asking a question per 1000 tokens is $0.03 and the cost of completing an answer per 1000 tokens is $0.06 under the context length of 8K; under the context length of 32K context length, the question cost per 1000 tokens is $0.06, and the answer completion cost per 1000 tokens is $0.12.

It says that this arithmetic cost rises higher (50%-200% increase in input cost and 200%-500% increase in output cost) compared to the cost of GPT-3 (about $0.02 per 1000 tokens), and is even more significant compared to the cost of GPT-3.5-turbo, with a 14-29 times increase in input cost and a 29-59 times increase in output cost. The increase is 29-59 times.

In addition, the expansion of the AI server market has simultaneously driven up the demand for high-speed NICs, HBM, DRAM, NAND, PCBs, etc. At the same time, the technology around the solution of GPU "power wall, memory wall" in the large computing power scenario continues to upgrade, such as storage and computing integration, silicon light / CPO industrialization process is expected to speed up; advanced process chip evolution in the existing Chiplet and other technical paths will also benefit; Risk-V due to open source and free, developer freedom, high degree of autonomy, high control, and the risk of the development of the chip. The advantages of Risk-V, such as free open source, high developer freedom, high degree of independent control, and more adaptable to AIoT processor architecture requirements, will drive the number of participating companies around AI scenarios.

Everything’s gotta eat right? It’s as natural as breathing…well usually it’s natural. Some things don’t breathe. Like rocks, water, and the undead. All of those things don’t breathe, and that’s very natural for them. But in general, if it can breed, it can usually breathe. That makes sense right?
I am sorry. I tend to get a little lost in the moment when I think by myself. It’s a rare treat. Anyways, as I was saying, everything has to eat. Even things that I once thought impossible have to eat. Fortunately for most of us, as the world changed the things that would eat us found it a lot harder to get away with just snatching up a local civilian like we snatch up so many dollar cheeseburgers. It’s a lot harder to be a monster in the modern world, at least that is what I am told by my customers. Everyone is a photographer now.
Long gone are the days of the rare lucky photographer catching a glimpse of the supernatural. Now anyone and everyone can be that lucky photographer. You see monsters are a lot like celebrities. They desire a privacy they can never have because of who they are. In that way monsters are kind of a sad group of beings. Quite prone to loneliness as their numbers have dwindled over the years.
That’s where I come in. I provide two very essential services to the monster community of the Midwest. Firstly, I acquire suitable food and sundries so that they may live out their lives and unlives in peace and comfort. Secondly, I provide a small amount of company to the more lonely individuals of the monster community. Well the lonely ones who won’t express their emotions by ripping out my stomach. The job pays immensely well and the service is provided by a company I won’t mention by name. You can probably guess which one though…like if you think about which delivery company probably feeds monsters…it’s not hard to figure out which one it is. I like my job most of the time, but some clients really freak me out.
One such client is the subject of this little online journal entry of mine. See there’s this guy…creature…collective…let’s go with guy, he’s kind of hard to deal with. See first of all he eats an insane amount. Literally eight horses was what I was delivering. The other problem was talking to him. He’s kind of insane and scares the living shit out of me. The special instructions for his deliveries always mention he is “mostly harmless”, but I just can’t shake the feeling that’s inaccurate. He has told me multiple times that “my digestion is inevitable”, which I am not sure what to make of that. I am not sure if that’s a death threat or what? I just know it scares the fuck out of me.
I remember the other me having a good ole time taunting me during the delivery too. Oh, yeah btw there is another me. Not like two physical copies of myself, that would be silly, no there’s like another copy of me living in my head. It’s not like a mental illness or some kind of witch's curse or anything. Just something that I was born with. It’s like a copy of myself that doesn’t have to interact with the world, and is therefore uncaring as to our ultimate fate or comfort. So mostly it just bullies me.
“Aw, is Sam afraid of the big bad flesh beast? Are you gonna break out in a panic sweat?” They taunted me.
“I mean probably. It’s hot out and I am anxious as hell. You know I don’t like dealing with the Flesh thing.” I replied to the other me.
“I like him. He’s kinda like us. Except instead of two people, he’s like thousands. Also all of him agrees and is pretty much uniform. Unlike us where one of us is cool, and the other is an aimless loser.”
“You’re more than welcome to come out and take control. Feel free to do this shitty run for me.”
“Nah, I like to watch.”
“Except when I am eating cheesecake. Right?”
“You don’t even like cheesecake. You buy that for me, and you know it.”
Thankfully, me and my other self don’t share the same thoughts. So I always have a nice quiet place in my own mind to get away from…myself. Yeah…anyway, I was able to tune myself out and run over the checklist for the delivery. Once I got to their home I had to drive around back to the well. Then press the button on the side of the trailer to release the horses, then kinda just be generally out of the way. The feeding is more or less the easy part. The hard part is talking to him. I really don’t wanna talk about tapeworms again…I now know so much about tapeworms that I wish I didn't. Did you know you can get a tapeworm in your brain? Fucking gross!I continued to snake through the rural roads of a small farming town looking for the dilapidated farmhouse the app was trying to direct me to. That in and of itself also frightened me. I have never liked driving through the less populous areas of the Midwest. It’s too dark, too many deer coming out of nowhere, nothing around if you break down, and just oppressively devoid of anything resembling human life. Despite my preoccupation with all my passive hatred for the country, I did find the farmhouse. Even though the mailbox was rusted and damaged, the numbers 1552 still shined as though they were new. I began carefully maneuvering my truck up the poorly maintained dirt driveway. I grew more anxious with each pothole I drove over in the driveway. The loud metallic clunks from the truck and attached trailer somehow amplified by the empty night. As I made my way around the crumbling farmhouse and saw the well, I veered off into the grass so that I could back the trailer up to the well. Through my side mirror I spotted some movement from within the well.
“He seems especially hungry today.” Said the other me. “Better hurry! I would hate to see what he does when he gets impatient”.
I really don’t like the other me. I am absolutely no help to myself. When the truck was finally in position, I opened my center console and removed the firearm the company provides. It was for all intents and purposes a normal Glock. What was special were the magazines and bullets. See in this line of work tasers and pepper spray don’t work all that well. What does work are bullets of varying types. My usual magazine has what we call the “safety stack”, the first 2 bullets are warding bullets enchanted with some kind of old Viking runes. If those don’t work the next two shots are Iron and Silver. Iron and silver tend to at the very least be quite painful to most monsters. Then it’s a myriad of other potentially useful bullets the rest of the way down. Consecrated bullets, dead sea bullets, etc. Ending with a final incendiary bullet that would either do the trick on them or me, depending on what I decided to do should I need it. I did not choose my a safety stack for this, I chose my all incendiary magazine and loaded it.
I got out of the vehicle with a flashlight in hand and went to the button on the side of the trailer. I could hear the horses inside getting antsy, I felt bad for them…but we all had to eat. I pressed the button and allowed the back doors to swing open, there was an instant scuffling amongst the horses as they tried to flee the trailer. It was short-lived though as a mass of sickly pink and red meat projected out of the well and sealed off the horses’ exodus. There was a sound of crunching bone and distressed horses. A sanguine dribble grew louder and louder as the fluids of dying horses leaked onto the metallic trailer floor. The smell of freshly slaughtered meat mixed with the putrid smell of the flesh beast, creating a smell that threatened to turn me vegan. I waited patiently, I still had the other part of my job to do. I still had to keep the creature company. My hand hovered over the “timer start” button on the app, intending to press it as soon as it started talking. I didn’t wanna spend any extra time around this thing.
After more time passed the creature finally dislodged from the entrance to the trailer and oozed its way toward me as a long pile of meat. There were still horse limbs sticking out of it, but if my experience was correct, they would not remain long. At about 15 feet away it took on a hulking form that could almost be described as human at a distance. Two vacuous holes formed on its face, then a slit for a mouth. It opened its mouth wide as pieces of its gooey flesh snapped and popped with sickening moistness.
“Thank you Sam, I was starving. Another day or two and I would have had to find my own food,” It said with a bubbly and muddled voice.
“Not a problem Cole, would have been here sooner but the guys loading up the horses were late today.” I said, starting the in app timer. 30 minutes to go.
“Oh it’s perfectly all right. I am happy to see you again, it’s so rare to meet people who don’t run in terror at the sight of me.”
I felt a little bad at hearing this. Monsters are universally lonely, and Cole was no exception. He scared the living shit out of me, and my heart was going a mile a minute, but still I couldn’t help but open up a bit to the monster’s loneliness.
“Well you have like thousands of minds inside you. Right?” I asked.
“12,136 human minds, but a far greater number of animal minds. I have lost count of how many of those I have. I assume though you mean the human ones.”
“Well do any of those minds understand why most people run?”
“Yes, many do. They feared before they were one with me, and now they are without fear. They do remember the fear though. Such an unpleasant sensation. I have no idea why your kind allows it. Would it not be easier to beat fear out of human children?”
“Yeah, child abuse is not really tolerated in modern society. There have been a few people who have tried what you are describing, but it usually results in less than ideal results. I am pretty sure that’s how most serial killers are made.” I responded, looking down at the timer on the app.
It was gonna be a long one. Not more than a minute in and Cole was already talking about beating children to eliminate fear. At least he wasn’t talking about tapeworms again. I don’t think I could have had another conversation about tapeworms. This was also adequately uncomfortable though.
“What is wrong with being a serial killer?”
“Well, we as a species have kinda decided we don’t like when one of our own just starts shamelessly murdering people. I know that is probably a weird concept to someone like yourself though.” I responded, trying to be sensitive to the creature's world view.
It brought a meaty facsimile of a hand to its “chin”, and stroked it as though it had a beard. It made a sound like mixing ground beef by hand. It also allowed his very unique smell of rot and decay to emanate more freely. I suppressed a desire to vomit, and maintained a plastic smile.
“Is war not shameless murder?”
“Yeah…yeah it is.” I answered hesitantly.
“Your kind seems to like those quite a lot. Why else would you all be constantly fighting and killing each other?”
“Well no one actually likes war. Also those usually occur because powerful politicians order it or some sort of land dispute. Or someone wants more natural resources…” I was cut off,
“Yes, but people willingly sign up for the military knowing full well they may be called to fight. They know the risk, they volunteer to kill, they volunteer for THE HARVEST” Cole croaked this out, working himself into a frenzy.
I shifted my weight to my other leg, passing the flashlight’s beam over his body. I could see his mincemeat flesh growing red, a tell tale sign of agitation outlined in his customer profile. I felt as adrenaline began coursing through my veins and attempted to control my breathing to mitigate its effects.
“Why would humans willingly partake in a harvest if they did not desire it. Do not all humans desire death, they seem so willing to race head first into the maw of oblivion. Such a waste. If only it was the old days. The people who lived here long ago, when they were near death, they would come to me and join in my majesty. They respected me, they wanted to live on in me. They chose this” Cole said, reaching into his chest area and removing a brain from his mass. “This woman here, her name lost to time, lives within me. Her life was stolen from the void to live on through me in infinite ecstasy! Why would humans choose anything other than this? Why have I been forgotten!”
“Well that’s a lot to unpack and I don’t know the whole story. I imagine though it must be frustrating, the way things are now. It must be hard to keep it all in.” I said, trying to seize control of my rapidly increasing heart rate. “Surely though you respect a person's right to choose how they rest?”
“Why would I respect an inferior choice? Do you respect the choices of a drug addict?”
“No, but I understand and empathize with them. It’s not my place to judge them or control them.”
“You only say that because you cannot. I could help everyone. I can help you.” Cole took a hulking step towards me. “I could take you into our being. I could separate the two of you. Finally let the both of you have the distance from each other you need.”
“I think we’re doing ok as we are. We clash sometimes, but we do our best to get along. I do appreciate the offer though.” I said frantically, trying to decide whether or not to pull my firearm.
“It’s not an offer. I must separate you two. Your minds call out to me for freedom. Fear not sweet meat, you are merely a protein prison. Your minds need to be freed, too long have they festered in their confinement.”
“Cole, I am not on the menu. We’ve discussed this.” I drew my firearm.
“Anything I can catch is on the menu!” He shrieked, raising a fleshy arm above his head.
At this point, I was well within my contractual rights with the company to open fire. So I did, I loosed every last round in the magazine. My eye’s burned as they tried to adjust to the bright flashes of the bullets contacting Cole’s skin. Several pieces of his fleshy mass were now immolating, and this caused him to step back and away from me. I took this momentary opening to jump into my vehicle and tear ass down the driveway. I must have blacked out from fear because I didn’t really remember anything until about 2 miles down the road. I remember feeling very dizzy and ill. I remember looking at the app and pushing the little bell icon in the right corner of the app. Clicking “report harassment”, and then speaking to one of the driver care specialists. I remember reporting everything I could remember, and getting a bonus payment on the delivery. It all happened as though I was in a dream, as though I was not in control of myself. I felt so detached. Then I sat for I don’t know how long. Feeling bad about having shot Cole, even though I was within my rights. Feeling bad that Cole felt so alone and powerless. I just couldn’t help but feel bad.
After a while I calmed down and came here to write this down. I guess to vent? To just feel heard? I am not a hundred percent sure. Other me says it’s “a waste of time” and “no one cares about your stupid independent contractor gig”. Maybe they’re right, but I do feel better for having written it down. If I have any more bad nights I'll post them here. If nothing else, but for the therapeutic value.
Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/u5l8mf/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_2/
Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/u7wnas/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_3/
Part 4: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/ubis95/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_4/
Part 5: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/uen5d2/i_deliver_food_to_monsters_part_5/

On the way to the location of the traitor Alex Mercury, Langress and Will were stuck in traffic because there was a big public protest on the main road in Brooklyn. This was a big public protest for a lot of issues like women's rights, black protection, Lgbtq, environment day, poultry protection, stop war and many other issues. Everyone was standing in the street causing a traffic jam and Langress and Will were stuck on the right side. Langress started complaining:
"Ahhh, what the fuck? What the hell are they doing?!"
Will replied:
"Oh, uh. This is a protest, Langress. They are demanding a lot of rights for them by protesting and asking the government to change some laws."
Langress said:
"Arghh, why don't they start a war already and then do whatever they want after they win? This is so annoying, Will, where do we go next?"
Will checked the map on his phone and replied:
"Uhhh, oh yeah, go straight for a bit and then turn left and we'll come to Joralemon Street, that's the location of the guy we're looking for."
Langress said:
"Hah, fine. Hold on to my waist Will, I'll drive very fast!"
Will screamed in panic:
"Oh wait. No!"
Langress drove up a bit, then had to stop again, he said angrily:
"What the fuck?! Can't they make way for me?"
Will replied:
"We can walk, you know."
Langress thought for a moment and then said:
"Nah, I'd rather ride my motorcycle. There must be something that can help me..."
Langress accidentally pressed the horn then he saw everyone suddenly cover their ears and move away. Then he smiled evilly and while Will's face turned panic, he said:
"Oh no."
Langress shouted:
"Here we go!"
Langress honked the horn repeatedly and kept driving, the protesters were deafened by the horn and had to make way for Langress and Will. Suddenly a guy stopped their motorcycle and said:
"Hey! Are you planning to disturb this protest? This is a very important public demonstration by everyone,
We will fight for the rights of the homeless and the rights of animals, you know that?"
Langress replied:
"Yeah, yeah, whatever the fuck you say. I give no shit about that."
Langress kept driving but was still stopped by the guy, he continued:
"Get off the motorcycle and talk to me right away like a man, I can't accept such rude behavior."
Langress taunted him:
"Men deal with fists, we don't negotiate."
The guy also took off his jacket to show off his muscles and said angrily:
"Come and see it! Come and see it! The punk like you will never have it."
Langress drove over and easily slapped him on the right cheek, which was very painful. The guy yelled like a child and said:
"Oh my God! It hurts. He hit me, everyone."
Langress slapped his left cheek again and replied:
"Never say God's name for crap."
People started talking around Langress and Will, they raised their phones and started filming them. A girl was filming while pointing at Langress and said through the camera:
"See everyone. Our society still has toxic and homophobic guys like him. Where will society go with guys like him? Please don't become such bad guys."
Langress was photographed and filmed by more than a dozen phones and posted on the Internet as a villain, he felt too tired and annoying so he immediately activated the left mechanical gauntlet and punched the air so hard that the phone around exploded. The crowd was like turning into monkeys and confused when there was no phone and Langress and Will simply left. On the way, Langress said wearily:
"Arghh, I've never had such a headache and trouble in my life. And why are those two guys hugging and wearing pink shirts?"
Will could only laugh dry letting it all go while he knew what Langress was talking about. A few minutes later, they were at the high-class apartment of the traitor Alex. Langress parked near a park then picked up a guitar case and said:
"Alright, let's go."
Langress and Will then entered the building to go upstairs. And their first challenge was waiting in the elevator to go up. In the meantime, Will asked Langress:
"So what will you do when you see him again? Your old teammate."
Langress replied coldly:
"Of course I'll torture him brutally so he can tell me everything about Lancerlord and the Predator's position. Then I'll kill him."
Will trembled and continued:
"Then what are you going to do next?"
Langress replied:
"Obviously, I'll kill the Lancerlord, that copycat guy and eventually the Predator faction."
Will said:
"What about after that?"
Langress slowed down a bit, he had to make up a random reason:
"I'll keep hunting vampires, or werewolves if I want to."
Will went on to say:
"Then after that?"
Langress was running out of ideas, he had to reply:
"Fine, I don't know. My only purpose in this life is to fight and kill, I can never have a peaceful life anymore."
Will said with positivity:
"There are so many good things in this world that I'm sure you'll want to enjoy."
Langress smirked slightly and replied:
"This world doesn't need me anymore. The Hybrids have been fighting to protect them for hundreds of years and now they're doing bullshit and meaningless things for themselves."
Will said with sympathy for Langress:
"I'm sorry for your situation. Life is hard for you."
Langress replied to cheer Will up:
"So Will, please enjoy those good things for me. I may die but I want no one around me to die anymore. You, Josh and Jonathan, no one will have to sacrifice anymore. ."
Will nodded to Langress and they were on the top floor of the building just in time. Langress and Will nodded and stepped outside to begin the quest. Will held up the phone and led them to an apartment at the end of the hallway. Langress looked around to make sure no one was there, then he pulled out the dagger from his right thigh and knocked on the door. One opened the door and said:
"Who is that?"
Langress immediately rushed in and covered his mouth and then pushed him back quickly and Will quickly closed the door behind him. That guy was truly Alex Mercury, the former traitor of the New Hope faction. Langress pushed him into an armchair, then pressed a dagger to his left cheek and said cruelly:
"Oh what a memory scar. You're surprised right, remember me right. Yeah and now your time to live starts counting down now!"
Langress stabbed the dagger down Alex's left hand and made him scream in pain. Langress said angrily:
"Tell me where is he?! Where's Lancerlord?!"
Alex in pain pointed his hand towards his bedroom, Langress quickly turned around to see Lancerlord waiting for him. Lancerlord said calmly:
"Welcome. Langress."
Langress replied with anger in his voice:
"Lancerlord."
Lancerlord's vampire soldiers stopped invisible and quickly surrounded Langress and Will. One guy immediately broke Alex's neck, in his rage, Langress quickly pulled his dagger out of Alex's hand and slashed at the guy's neck just now. He was so badly injured that he died on the spot. Langress wiped the blood off the dagger by the guy's shirt and put it back in the holster then he said with mockery:
"What a suck joke. You know they're nothing to me. One slash is enough to deal with them all."
Lancerlord replied:
"Yeah, I know, and so does your little friend."
They looked over at Will and scared him, but Langress slammed down the guitar case and said loudly:
"Stop talking shit! This is a private matter between us, he has nothing to do with it. If you don't want to die, don't touch him."
Will hid behind Langress and became alarmed and the vampires laughed, Lancerlord smirked and said:
"You are wrong to bring a weakling like him. But out of respect for you, he has three minutes to get out of here quickly or he will die."
Langress replied:
"Good."
Lancerlord said:
"Let's start the countdown, one..."
Langress said to Will:
"Will, go now. Leave the building immediately and call for help if you need it."
Will replied in panic:
"But what about you? Lancerlord is stronger than you."
Langress said:
"I need not be afraid, for I am The World's Strongest Hybrid. And I have this."
Langress crushed the guitar case and pulled out the Devil's Blood Tachi, he said:
"My new legendary weapon will kill you."
Lancerlord smirked confidently and replied arrogantly:
"Oh, you got a new girl? Then Alpha God will be really sad. Ah wait, she's mine now hahaha."
Will hastily took out Langress's power control cuff remote and said:
"I'll turn off your cuff, so you'll have a better chance..."
But Will accidentally caused a guy behind to throw a knife and destroy the remote, he laughed and said mockingly:
"Then you will die sooner and faster. Hahaha!"
But Lancerlord immediately threw a knife in the face and killed the guy, he said:
"You all are cowards and pathetic, you can't even give me a good fight."
Langress replied:
"I may be restrained from my powers, but I still have more than enough to defeat you. Will, go now!"
Will said:
"No Langress."
Langress said fiercely:
"Go now! Run or Die! Only one of two!"
Will became startled and ran out of the room. The vampires locked the door and blocked the way for Langress to leave. Lancerlord said arrogantly:
"So the rat has run away. Now break your cuff. Show me if you still have power."
Langress growled like a wolf and replied:
"You should regret saying that."
Then the fantasy song "Weightless" by Twelve Titans Music played, the song's sad, tragic and epic melody went with every wound Langress suffered when he broke the cuff and the hatred and rage but regret inside him. Langress took off his left sleeve jacket and showed Lancerlord his cuff. Then Langress grabbed the cuff and began to break it. Each of his fingers tightened and broke harder was all Langress's hatred. The stronger his hatred, the more powerful he was. Langress was grazed and bleeding and made the vampires laugh, but Lancerlord still did not smile and looked seriously at Langress. Langress continued to break the cuff with all his might, he wanted to fight Lancerlord when they were both at their best. Langress and Lancerlord's gaze never ceased to escape each other, their eyes of hatred, anger and sadness were all that remained of the two who were once brothers. Langress growled harder and slowly broke the cuff, the vampires were taken aback while Lancerlord smiled proudly. Langress snapped even harder, there was a crack and his arm was completely broken but his eyes were still filled with determination as he pulled away from the cuff. Lancerlord shouted as a cheer for Langress:
"Do it! You are The World's Strongest Hybrid right?!"
Langress used all his strength and shouted strongly:
"I AM LANGRESS MCLOUCHT!"
Langress held back the pain and yanked the cuff out of his arm, instantly, all of his power returning to him. The broken arm quickly recovered in an instant like it had never been broken. Langress put on his coat and threw away the annoying cuff and said:
"Now, answer me. Why did you kill them all? Our teammates, our friends, our brothers, Why?!"
Lancerlord replied calmly:
"Because they are all weak, they are weak to protect humanity. We can overthrow all things, vampires, werewolves and humans to create an empire of our own but they still insisting on that stupid right thing. We've been betrayed by humanity since the beginning, Langress. We are only pawns and slaves of fate to protect them like squishy soldiers protect the stupid king. I simply killed all the weak, like this Alex, because he was a coward to run away from The Eternal Blood War."
Langress replied angrily:
'I won't let you say that!"
Langress immediately lunged at Lancerlord and punched him, but he quickly kicked him back causing Langress to slide down and break the table behind. Lancerlord said arrogantly:
"You see! You've always been the most stubborn and reckless. You let your emotions take over and let your fists decide everything. You're weak too."
Langress replied:
"You're even more cowardly by betraying them all. No wonder they call you The Betrayer."
Lancerlord got a little angry and said:
"Have you forgotten yourself? You're always the one who abandons your comrades to fight for yourself. You're just a selfish asshole!"
Lancerlord walked over to Langress and he also stood up to approach him. The two punched each other and when their fist collided cracked the floor and ceiling, their eyes filled with anger. Lancerlord said:
"You think I wouldn't suffer to have to do that? Watching them die, one by one. I just wanted to free them from this stupid fate."
Langress replied:
"You were a fool, you were controlled by lust to side with the Predator."
Lancerlord said:
"I never sided with them and I joined them myself as my will. They were right about the humans, that they are not worthy to be protected or to be masters of the world!"
Langress and Lancerlord kicked each other hard in the stomach and pushed them away. Langress said:
"You're right, humans are just a bunch of arrogant, stupid, unfilial and obstinate bunch. But they have nothing to do with this war."
Lancerlord replied:
"No, they've known it all since The Eternal Blood War began. It was they who pushed us all to our deaths!"
Langress said angrily:
"That's just a stupid excuse to ignore your disgusting actions!"
Lancerlord replied angrily:
"You have no idea how much I sacrificed to protect the Hybrids!"
Langress said:
"By making them worse than they are today? What a foolish and futile sacrifice."
Lancerlord replied angrily:
"Then show me what you can do to change it all! The World's Strongest Hybrid!"
Langress said even more angry:
"Your death will change everything."
The tension between Langress and Lancerlord grew hotter and more terrible, the conflict between the two of them was unstoppable. Going back to Will a bit, when he ran away, he rushed down the emergency stairs but suddenly he stopped. Will was only a human, he was very scared and weak and he always ran away like his primitive instincts whenever he was in danger. It was not that he was cowardly, but Will's fear dominated his bravery. But this time was different, he didn't want to run away anymore, Langress and Josh had always been the ones to stay and fight for him and they didn't need any retribution. That didn't make Will feel safe, but he felt small and self-deprecating because of his own weakness. Will suddenly burst into tears and yelled:
"Oh please, I want to run. Langress already said that, I have to run, that's right, I have to run to get help. But..."
Will looked back at the room and knew Lancerlord would easily defeat Langress. Will kicked the floor repeatedly to push himself to keep running, but this time his heart wouldn't let him. Will must fight, he said:
"God, forgive me for having to bleed. But this time I'm doing it for the right thing."
Will rang the fire alarm to promptly evacuate everyone from the building. Many people heard the bell so they quickly evacuated from the building and left an empty battlefield for Langress and Lancerlord. Will then cut his hand to bleed, he said as bravely as the first time he had such a great moment:
"I will fight with you, Langress."
The inside of the room became surprised by the fire alarm, the vampires opened the door to check outside to find Will standing at the end of the hallway with his bleeding hand. They could not hold back the smell of blood, so they immediately rushed to Will, they shouted:
"It's mine!"
Suddenly Will raised Boss Luca's Eagle Eyes Beta Pistol and took aim at them. Without fear or anxiety, Will sighed and no longer hesitated to pull the trigger. Seven smart bullets were fired and flew rapidly at them. The vampires immediately crawled to the wall to dodge but the smart bullets still flew at them and killed all of Lancerlord's men to their surprise and panic. Will became shocked at the power of the bullets but he still followed Boss Luca's instructions. Opened the magazine to let the bullets fly back inside and then reloaded and racked the slide to get ready for the next shot. Will was so shocked that it took a moment to realize he was still bleeding. Will hastily bandaged it and said:
"I believe in you, Langress, and thank you very much."
Will then left the building for Langress and Lancerlord to have a big battle and he also called Arenyx to evacuate the civilians. Back to Langress and Lancerlord, they stood strong and defiant. The water from the fire sprinklers fell on them like it was washing away what they still considered each other as brothers. Langress and Lancerlord rushed forward and grabbed the other's left shoulder shirt. They stared at each other, filled with hatred and indignation. They gripped tighter and suddenly a flurry of flashbacks loomed between the two of them about their most glorious days. Their powers collided, destroying the floor further and shattering the windows. From this moment on, they were no longer brothers. The fateful battle between the two brothers began.

BAD
-I was gonna marry her. She was the one (talking about their ex). Definitely made me insecure and compare myself to that ex who was gorgeous. Talked about this ex a lot.
-You're a waste of space in my head
- physically pushed me away from their perceived notion that I wanted to take a picture with them. Passerbys were shocked by how mean it was.
-I told them my car died. Their reply "that sucks"
-I told them I had a fever "How do you know?
-Told me this barista liked them and had to keep them from flirting but when they posted on twitter shows "the cute barista knows my name" (while we were together)
-ghosted me
-never wanted to spend time with me in person (all texting all the time on EVERY Single social media platform) from morning to night we would talk via text, snapchat, instagram, facebook... it was a fucking addiction. I do not know how I did that it was from 6 am to 10 p.m. multiple times each hour. no phone calls or facetime though.
-told me it was fate that we met (we met very organically...could have been a really cute romantic story if this person was someone else entirely) they said they were an asshole, a jerk, that they were broken, they wanted to be better and would try to be better because I deserved the sun to turn it around and say they deserved better
-told me that they've been cheated on before and some other things IDR but me saying I needed space was the most hurtful thing ever when they were already avoiding being physically around me?
-told me they got shitface drunk b/c of how I made them feel but it's their fault for getting drunk.
-complained about my radio silence but when i talked to them they would simply reply "what"
-told me they used to have a really high sex drive in past relationships but they don't know what's wrong right now
-when i told them they didn't care, they were in disbelief and said "if i didn't care, i wouldn't be here right now". they did cry though... so that was interesting.
-ghosted me and then hit up their fwb and posted that person with "thanks for being there for me" . Told me they used that person as a piece of meat, they could never date someone so desperate and they wanted to try again w/ me b/c we had something special and if they don't fuck it up it could something even more or some sentiment like that.
-Through the on/off again relationship would ALWAYS view EVERY SINGLE story, snap, whatever I posted. Would always be the first one.
-would see some of my posts and make passive aggressive posts mirroring them (kind of like the selena gomez/hallie bieber eyebrow liner situation). At the time I thought it was a coincidence but after going through Hell...it was intentional.
-I literally gave them nothing but love, kindness and compassion for awhile and that was how they treated me. Now they're married to someone who takes care of all their financial needs/wants. How is life fair.
-told me I was their gf after two weeks of talking/meeting up w/ them...basically introduced me as their gf to someone before actually asking me about it
-introduced me to their friends and family 2-3 weeks in
-so many empty words and broken promises
-never gave me gifts but gave other ppl gifts. never remembered my birthday but celebrated other ppls bdays. never cared about my well-being but cared for their friends well-being? Looked for the price tag on the gifts I gave. never appreciated my acts of service or notice anything i would overcome. but still kept the playlist they made for me very public and very obvious it was made for me while also having playlists for their wife. They did unfollow the playlist I made for them a long time ago but still continue to follow me on that platform. I feel like their playlists title are a way to communicate with me where they are in life to show that "hey i'm better than you". I wish they would just block me. They rarely used that platform and I know they're only using it to indirectly communicate with me. They still mimic/mirror things I do...it's weird.
- made a post about the breakup literally copying the words from my breakup text as their own and their flying monkeys gave their support. it was sickening. Making me look like the bad guy. Making all this drama public when they normally don't share stuff like that (their words not mine)? WTF. Wrote more on their instagram post then their reply to our breakup.
-eventually told me they were hurt really bad in a high school and they're still recovering...fucking 8-9 years later? told me they needed the reassurance that i wasn't going to leave them (when they left me?)
-finally called me for the first time in a year. when i messaged them it wasn't a phone number but an icloud address and I still didn't understand that.
-lied to me and said they had to go on their computer and message me on snapchat like that (that feature definitely did not exist at the time). such a strange unprompted lie too.
-told me they wanted to marry me and had a dream i was pregnant w/ their child...gross.
-would basically attack most things i would say if they weren't in the lovebombing phase. otherwise they were all over me and literally try to do these things with their younger siblings asleep in the same room as us and I would have to tell them to stop.
-they never introduced me to their mom and i could tell their mom hated me. she would ignore me like i wasn't even there.
-this whole thing could have been a fling and that would have been fine but this person gave the illusion like they wanted more. In the beginning I was okay with something temporary and non-committal but they were excellent at mind games and making me believe they wanted something more especially when we spent time with each other in person. I fell for them and I fell for them hard and that's when the mask unveiled. I don't really remember the things they said that attracted me to them but they knew all the right words I needed to hear. They were a very smooth talker in the beginning but for them everything was about them having the power, being in control, and being the dominant one, etc...

positives
-sex was amazing, they made me feel wanted/needed/loved and attractive
-their dogs

Side note: I know I really need therapy for all of this. If there are any book recommendations/videos/etc...that help w/ the healing process please let me know. I know I have a disorganized attachment style from the way I grew up and I was attracted to this type of dynamic for awhile. I'm still very disorganized and working on it but I really don't know how to work through this past relationship trauma that has messed me up even more. I've lost so many pieces of myself.

Another (now biweekly) installment of Best-of Sunday for folks! Sorry for the delay and earlier mispost--u/lanqian was away on a trip and now back to do a make-up post.
Best Submitted articles:
South Korea: Mandate lifted, but most continue to mask up
The Truth About Long COVID Is Finally Emerging. It’s Not What We Thought. <--In Slate!
(Lack of) Evidence for pandemic NPIs
VIA Rail ordered to rehire engineer terminated over COVID vaccine [Canada]
US officially rescinds recent Covid testing rules for travelers from China
TWITTER FILES #19 The Great Covid-19 Lie Machine Stanford, the Virality Project, and the Censorship of “True Stories”
Number of pupils missing the majority of school doubles since the pandemic, new figures show [UK]
CDC Bought Phone Data to Monitor Americans’ Compliance With Lockdowns, Contracts Show
Owner of COVID testing company accused of defrauding US government out of $83M
Child and Teen Suicide Attempts Rose 22 Percent During Pandemic, Researchers Say
David Zweig: how and why the reality of Covid was censored
The Cochrane Mask Fiasco: A Cochrane Report Tells the Truth, But Many Are not Ready to Hear It
Unvaccinated Australians still can’t find work due to mandates
Sweden had lowest excess mortality in EU 2020-2022, indicating its long-term strategy was well founded
Chinese city backs return of lockdowns for flu outbreaks Evening Standard
Covid-19: Hong Kong university entrance exam candidates must wear masks despite end of mandate
China reopening borders to foreign tourists for first time since Covid erupted
Our own u/freelancemomma speaking about her recent book! On the Tom Woods show: talking about "Blindsight Is 2020" and other Covid things
Best Original Posts:
My family are a bunch of covid cultists and I don't know what to do. Posted byu/Aggravating_Comb_418
Did the culling of mink for CoVid cause more problems than it solved? Posted byu/AndrewHeard
Spending my early 20s in lockdown I have learnt so much and I will never forget Posted byu/AnarchistEva
"There's gonna be a next pandemic!" is the best argument against heavy restrictions Posted byu/Sgargarozzi
How many were convinced by vax-mandates and how many were genuinely following recommendations ? Posted byu/Sgargarozzi
Do you feel the effects of lockdown are still apparent in terms of making it harder to be productive, advance in careers, in your personal live and/or with the population at large? Posted byu/emaxwell13131313
What’s something from pre-CoVid that has had the “volume turned down” on it now? Posted byu/AndrewHeard
Honorable Mentions:
LA County Keeps COVID Vaccination And Mask Requirement For Health Workers
Two Thirds Of US Adults Think COVID Likely Started In A Lab
Twice-weekly local testing for COVID variants to end, scientist says [Canada]
More cruise lines will drop the Covid test and vaccine rules this spring
Online gambling in Québec surged during 1st year of pandemic: study
Yes, it is remote workers who spiked housing, rent costs
The ROM collected millions in wage subsidies during COVID-19 closures. Now, the Canadian government wants the money back
U.S. government agencies may have been double billed for projects in Wuhan, China, records indicate; probe launched

Thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the universe!
I'm deeply appreciative of u/Acceptable_Egg5560 for their help with editing!
Prev First Next
Chapter 13: Bohemian
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Memory transcription subject: Vekna, Venlil Investigative Journalist
Date [standardized human time]: December 7th, 07:24, 2136
It’s a longer drive to the hangars than it was to the museum, mainly because of the “airfield’s” elevated position. From what I understood, this was to make it easier for show pilots to gain speed for their stunts. For us, however, it serves only as a hindrance for our Jeep to overcome. Jeep, Jeep. Such a funny word. That’s what Chase calls his car. Well, technically, it’s the company that made his car. He explained that the name was derived from that of an ancient car that was used at the same time as those Tiger tanks. It even had a gas motor! Well, to be fair, most vehicles at that time did, but after growing up surrounded by fusion-electric engines and plasma thrusters, it was still breaking new ground for my engineering side.
I’m still brimming with excitement as we finally make it up to the airfield. I look out the window as it enters my line of vision. I’m sorely let down. Standing opposed to the grand spaceports of Venlil Prime, this place consists of a row of metal, semi-circular structures lining the side of a long, wide strip of concrete. How plain… The data dump had said that most terran vehicles before 2047 didn’t have VTOL capabilities, so a long run of space to build sideways speed was necessary for their flight. Function before form, I guess. Can’t complain about that.
As we drive by the structures, I spot letters and numbers above the wide doors on each one. I assume they correspond to the planes inside, as I recognize a few of them. PBY-5, BF-109, YAK-15, and a few more that I didn’t care to read pass us by as we make our way down the strip of tarmac. Translators always did struggle with such naming conventions, but I’ve gotten used to it by now. Still, too many can give you a terrible headache. The one we come to a stop in front of, though, has a simple designation upon it; F-14. I tilt my head slightly. I don’t recall ever seeing an “F-14” on display, and if Chase had a model of it, it wasn’t one that I was allowed to touch. As we disembark from our trusty land vehicle, I have no idea what to expect. That’s the most exciting part!
As we approach a side door, Chase gives me a bit of history regarding this F-14. “This bad boy was pulled from active service after an air confrontation in the 1970s.” Chase began commenting, taking the familiar tone of museum guides the galaxy over. “The Pilot lived, his copilot didn’t, and it was inactive for the rest of the Cold War. Eventually, it got abandoned in a scrapyard for a century or so as part of the usual retirement of such craft. When the previous staff found her, she was apparently in pretty bad shape, but they managed to fix her up and get her airworthy again. She flew shows for the museum for about 20 years until the F-22s and F-45s were up and ready to go. Then it was back to the scrap heap for her. Or at least, that's what was supposed to happen.” Chase winks at me, a human gesture meant to convey slyness or deception. Any other Venlil would have been horrified by that, but it goes without saying I’m not any other Venlil.
“I came across her a month or so after they sold her off and got pennies on the dollar!” My translator didn’t even attempt to make the currency conversion. “I’ve been keeping it here ever since. It’s in much better condition than at the scrapyard, and I intend to keep that way. I’ve made it my personal pet project to keep her ready to fly at a moment’s notice, but I haven’t had the chance to for a while. But we have time now! You wanna see?”
I don’t even need to talk to answer, my tail doing all the work for me. I’m going to get a personal air show, of course I want to see! I can barely contain my excitement as we approach the access door. We soon reach it, Chase opening it slowly so as not to break the frostbitten hinges. It’s pitch black inside, with only the silhouette of a landing gear visible thanks to the limited morning light. It’s only when Chase flicks on the lights that I’m truly floored. In front of me stands a massive aircraft, sleek in design and wide in stature. The wings of the vehicle stretched for what must be tens of meters, with two massive jet turbine engines in the rear of the plane. Even its very aesthetic is almost predatory in nature, its elongated nose and thin physique almost reminding me of a Krakotl. It's primitive but… brahk it, it’s beautiful! From what I can see, there are two seats in the cockpit, a thought forming in the back of my mind at that sight. Reason tells me otherwise, but…what if I got to fly in this thing? I’m brought out of my mind by the loud thunk and the sound of liquid flowing. I look over to see Chase connecting the plane to a large metal tank. Ah, that must be the fuel.
“Fueling it up, Chase?”
“Yeah, what else? We can’t fly on an empty tank, after all!”
…We?! I nearly pass out as I realize my wildest hopes Are coming true. I was going to get to fly in this thing!! It’s honestly hard to remember what happened between then and now as I’m being helped into the rearmost seat by Chase. Something about safety checks, I think? Who cares?! I’M GOING TO FLY!! As I’m being strapped in, I notice something. There are a sphekload of gauges, switches and buttons back here! I assumed they all had a purpose, but I remember Chase telling me that I wouldn’t need to press them at some point. Thank the Herd, my translator is killing itself trying to translate all this! One thing I would have to just deal with is the seat not being built for someone with a tail, but that’s not too big a deal. If I’m remembering my physics correctly, most of the g-forces would be directed downwards, and given Venlilian skeletal structure, I should be a-okay. Our only weak points are our knees!
Eventually, Chase disconnects the fueling line once we have enough and he climbs into the cockpit, a special helmet on his head. I’m also wearing a similar helmet with a small microphone extended close to my snout. I have to keep my ears pressed against my head for it to fit, but an ear piece allows us to communicate freely. Chase opens the humongous hangar door with a remote, the entire front section of the massive building parting to admit us into the cool, Canadian air. Chase toggles something up front, as I soon hear the combustion-powered jet engines whine to life. It sounds almost like a malfunctioning fusion engine, but Chase assures me that sound is normal. Did we say that? I can’t tell over the whining! Suddenly, I see something I didn’t even know this plane could do. The wings of the aircraft pull back like a bird before we start to taxi out to the start of the runway. The automated air traffic control system verbally informs us that we’re clear to go, with a set flight range for him to fly about within.
He extends the wings back out as he looks back at me. “Ready to have some fun, Vekna?”
OH BRAHK YES!!! I can’t help but give an excited bleat as my heart races in my chest. I’m glad that it’s from excitement this time, though Chase has given me my own inhaler in case a shortlung attack happens during the flight. I give a thumbs-up, another human gesture, as Chase grabs the throttle and pushes it all the way forward. I’m quickly pressed into the back of my seat as we quickly accelerate up to flight speed. Okay, forgot about forward momentum! Readjusting tail! I can hear the usually whiny engines roaring through my headset, making it clear as to why I was given it in the first place despite my head shape. It only takes a few seconds before I feel the vehicle lifting up, the ground receding from view below us as I feel the landing gear pull in. This is incredible! I’m flying! I’M FLYING!!! I can see the peaks of snowy mountains all around us as we fly higher and higher. I can’t help but giddily giggle at the thrill of this flight.
Hearing my excited chittering, it seems Chase gets an idea. “You like that, eh? Try this on for size!”
The entire planet then rolls along our plane’s central axis, and before I know it, the ground is above me. It’s a surreal sight, but before I can process it fully, I feel myself getting pushed down into my seat once again as we pitch down into a canyon. Flying! In the air! Look at the ground speed past! I scream in joy a little as Chase masterfully maneuvers the aircraft so low to the ground I can practically lick the snow! I was flying myself above the chasm! How can I even describe these feelings? These wonderful feelings that I would like to feel forever! They’re too great for words to possibly do justice! Listen to yourself ramble! You’re flying!!!
We continue doing tricks for an incredible while longer until we hear an alert in the cockpit. Chase looks over to the blinking red light, presses a button, and after a moment both sound and sight stop. He then says words that I never want to hear again. “Alright, looks like we’re low on fuel. I only filled her up enough for a short flight, anyways. Let’s get down and give this old bird a rest, eh?”
I don’t want to. I want to stay up here and keep flying where the realities of my existence can’t touch me! Where I am free from the bounds of the world! But, tragically, I’m not in control. I can only watch as we slow our airspeed, adjust our heading, and come in for a gentle landing. The gears screech in protest underneath us as they decelerate the plane to a stop, bringing an end to the best moment of my life. It felt like the best kind of forever, but was …already over. We taxi back into the hangar, coming to a stop as Chase powers down the plane. It takes a while to go through the shutdown process, and I remain in the cockpit for most of it. Anything to allow me to replay the flight in my mind as many times as I can. Eventually, though, that too came to an end as Chase moved the ladder to retrieve me. I hold out my arms as he unbuckles me and lifts me out of the seat, removing my helmet lastly.
“So, how did you like all that, Vekna?”
I don’t have the words to express my enjoyment. I was in the air, away from all my problems and with one of the few people to have treated me like an actual person. I’m unfortunately reminded of my strife by this happy thought, and I come down from my flying high enough to respond.
“Y-Yeah, it was great! Can we do that again soon??”
He laughs as we sit on a bench in the hangar. I lean against him as he wipes the sweat from his brow from having cleaned and prepared the F-14 for another stint of inactivity.
“Sure, but how about we try another plane next time, yeah?”
Next time! I’m about to affirm when a loud alert sounds from Chase’s pad. He mutters something under his breath and checks what it is. Curiously, I look too. There’s a small, top-down silhouette of the airstrip in the middle with rings coming off of it. A ways away, a red dot is shown approaching. Unlike some of the other aircraft, each with their own designations above them, this one is unmarked. It isn’t heading towards us, but it is going in the direction of Vancouver. I don’t see anything particularly wrong with that, but Chase is a different story altogether. He says something about poop under his breath as he hastily stands and starts donning his winter gear once again. I’m left confused on the bench at Chase’s concern.
“Chase? What’s wrong? Why did that alert sound?”
He looks over at me as he’s getting dressed. His eyes are dilated far past their usual. Whatever he knows must be really scaring him. What does that mean for me? “No transponder. I know what that means all too well. Black Ops”
Oh, that’s what that means for me. Speh.
———————————————————————————————————————
Memory transcription subject: Elijah Morrisson, UN Pilot Ace
Date [standardized human time]: December 7th, 05:00, 2136
I stand outside on the pad as I wait for the two bucketheads General Meiers assigned to this mission to arrive. I had already gotten the shuttle prepped for flight an hour ago, its Venlil-tech fusion engines purring like a contented cat. Though how a fusion engine can purr, I can’t begin to speculate. They didn’t have the most thrust, and were very civilian oriented, but I had to admit their lack of sound was useful for practical concealment, far outperforming the quietest craft we had that weren’t helicopters. It was a far departure from the F-55 I flew in the Satelite Wars, but that’s by design. I kind of missed that old bird. I bet I could probably kick a rookie pilot’s ass in one if I were given the chance. They think they’re all hotshots in their F/A-72s, pah! What was I going to do again? Oh, yeah, bitch about those good-for-nothing NCOs. I look at my watch, seeing that it’s already 05:02. Where are they? As soon as I think that, I see the door to the pad’s gantryway open, flashing me with the blinding white fluorescent light from the airlock. There they are! About damn time! I wave the pair down as they approach at a steady pace, careful not to slip on the ice coating the catwalk.
“Glad y’all could finally join me. Any longer and the general’d have us court-martialed!”
I receive a couple of groans from the two as they lug their bug-out bags into the cargo storage area. “Yeah, you try packing up all your shit without anyone noticing you’re going! We couldn’t even say we’re transferring even if we were asked! That secrecy takes a while.”
“I did. That ain’t no excuse for tardiness, Anderson. And what about you, Xhen? What took you so long?”
He stands quiet for a moment, looking between me and the backside of Anderson as he struggles to get his oversized bag to fit in the cramped personal cargo compartments. He soon succeeds, patting the compressed luggage pridefully before turning back to me.
“Waiting for Lieutenant Anderson, sir!”
I can’t help but laugh at that, earning me a scornful look from the now-standing lieutenant.
“Ah hah. Ah hah hah. Let’s just get going before we’re caught and tried for treason or some other trumped-up charge.”
Xhen and I both salute our current commanding officer as we load into the shuttle. Thankfully, there are four seats up front. Anderson taking the co-pilot position and Xhen taking the co-pilot-passenger position behind him. We strap in, and I ready the shuttle for flight. Unlike the fighters I was used to flying pre-contact, this shuttle did almost everything for me including flying the damn thing, and I could still make it do that, too! Once we were firmly in the air, I could set autopilot and comfortably do whatever while in route. Those Venlil pilots must be some spoiled sons-of-bitches. After making sure everybody is strapped in, I activate the VTOL functionality as we quickly rise above the treeline.
The two boots gripped their seats in fear. Heh, I forgot that they didn’t have their sky-legs yet! Well, who was I to deny them their first proper Morrisson flight experience? I shove the throttle forward and switch to frontal propulsion. The shuttle lurches forward, quickly surpassing the sound barrier with a passing boom. Once we’re supercruising, I slip the shuttle into autopilot and lean back, the other two still scared stiff from our departure. Calm down you babies, I hope that once we arrive, we won’t have to stay for long. I wanna be home in time for Christmas, dammit! But…I can’t cover up my grievances with jokes forever. Besides, I might Jinx it if I say it aloud.
“Some warning next time would be nice, Morrison!” I hear Anderson sputter next to me.
I just chuckle a little and turn my flight seat towards him. “I thought you had flight experience too, Lieutenant! What, can’t handle a little jolt?”
“That was more than a little jolt, Morrisson! If you’re going to keep flying like a crackhead, I’m going to take those controls from you and fly us all there myself!”
I chuckle at that as I prepare one of my signature Air Force quips. “Good luck with that! You can barely find your own flight stick!” At that, he gives me a side eye that could level mountains. Mountains, maybe, but not me.
“You’re lucky we’re stuck in this suicide squad together, or I’d have you dishonorably discharged for that.” Xhen snickers behind him. “I’m not- you know what? Screw you guys. I’m going to go to the back and finish my night’s rest.” He then unbuckles himself from his seat and makes his way to the back of the shuttle. I watch to see if Xhen will follow suit, and sure enough, he also yawns.
I sigh, deciding that he needs his rest too. “You sleepy, private?”
He snaps to attention, though there’s a noticeable lag to his actions. “No sir! Just recovering from the unexpected awa-”
“Just go. Only two people are required in the cockpit at all times. With how advanced this computer is, I’d count it as one. You’re dismissed.”
Xhen blinks at me in confusion. “So…I can go to sleep?”
Oh for God’s sake, these privates. “I said dismissed!”
I turn back around to face forward, hearing Xen hurriedly march into the back of the shuttle behind me. Which leaves me alone. Again... With nothing to do but wait, my mind turns to Vekna. I don’t know why she ran, and I don’t know where she went. If Beech has her, I’m going to do what I should’ve done years ago. I’m going to complete my mission, I’m going to get some answers, and I’m going to find that damn Venlil, whether she wants me to or not. I’m coming, Vekna, and hell nor high water's gona fuckin’ stop me.
… Oh Lord, when did I get so dramatic?
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It's been a while since one of these footers, hasn't it? Well, that's because there's some news to share! If you followed this story in the MCP, you'd know that this is where it previously ended. But no more! In the works are two extra chapters for you all on Reddit, along with an exciting announcement or two under the last chapter! I won't spoil anything now, but I'd just like to say that I'm incredibly excited for the future of the Rouge Chronicles and the NOPCU as a whole! Thank you all for reading, and I look forward to sharing the next chapter as soon as it's complete!

So at least 10 years ago I bought a game on GOG. I then lost access to an email address due to switching a phone number and couldn't access my GOG account. In my head it's a game with a lot of caverns you have to make your way through. I feel like it had a steampunk aesthetic. I want to say you controlled a fish that had a little lightbulb hanging from an antenna, but that could have just as easily been a villain that you had to avoid. Also.......I could be way off. I only played it a few times before I lost access to it.

I had a day. It was bad enough that it’s taken most of it to calm down.
At noon I decided to take the girls on their walks. With Sissy I have do do it early in the day because she is a Stalker not a walker and she stalks cats. Turns out, she wasn’t alone on this.
We take a large circle around or neighborhood 2x. Today we got 1/3 of the way down the fist leg and I knew I was screwed. I saw two dogs racing across the street, off leash. They were Pit bulls. They were confident, with tail up, and they were hunting. It was clear and obvious to anyone who has seen a war movie where a patrol is out. They were hunting. And that, frightened the crap out of me.
I immediately turned to go, before they saw me. One of the home owners was in his front yard and I was aiming for him. I took one look back and started running screaming “Sir” because he and his son were turning to go into the house, and ran for it. I had been seen.
He and his son stopped and I skidded right up to him and said “there are two off leash Pittie’s coming my way and they’re hunting.” He looked over and his entire body language changed. He said we’re a bigger pack, so we should be fine. I said “ok”. I thought “famous last words”. But they did lose interest and went down a cul-de-sac cuing on a person that went to drive into it. My neighbor said ”go while they’re distracted” which I did.
I made it 2 houses. The beastie boys were back. I looked to my right and thank God himself, Linda the wife of the HOA president was sitting on her front porch. I shouted, “Thank God Linda… there are 2 off leash pitties hunting and they’re following me!” And then I promptly plastered myself against her front porch brick wall and looked as frightened as I was.
Linda called her husband Ryan out and started looking. Armed with brooms. And the we’re stopping cars going by asking questions. They got SOME answers. These dogs were from a connecting neighborhood and that they frequently hunted the feral cats. Right around that time they back tracked to the back of the neighborhood and I ran for home.
By the time I got home I was bawling my eyes out. Now. I don’t come home from walks crying. I am a frequent cryer, yes, but walks are fun. I come in and I’m crying my eyes out and Sissy is on the edge of the freak zone. And, justifiable, Papas like… “what’s happening…..” at the end of which he was freaking out and angry. Not a surprise, he’s my dad and dads don’t like it when stuff like this happens to their daughters.
And, my friends/co-workers have given me a plan of attack. I’m getting pepper spray fell that shoots 15 feet. I have animal control on a quick button on my phone. I will dial 911 as it really is an emergency. Also, I have an old shovel handle on a string I used to walk with that I will carry with me in future. I know Sissy will defend, she has in the past. And her and I stand a chance if we’re working together until the police come.
I seriously don’t want to go thru this again. Apparently they escape their yard ‘fairly often’ and that the owners don’t do much to stop it. That’s nuts. Dogs in packs, Pit bulls or otherwise, are dangerous. As the HOA president is now aware and, as I am also a friend, their friend was terrorized, maybe something would be done. I don’t want to be attacked.
I’m hoping for tomorrow being better. Fizz

Here we are now. In the top 5. Here we go.

I Don’t Want To Be A Ghost

So this one has a funny personal story for me as well. I thought I had read that this one wasn’t printed in English so I watched a reading of it on YouTube. I thought it was really good. So when I got Smashed and saw it in there. I was surprised but still read it anyway. Because reading it is different from listening to it on YouTube.
This is for sure one of Ito’s darkest works. Pregnant woman killing herself along with the baby, then their ghosts get eaten by Misaki? Fuck that’s dark. I think what I like about it is it’s unique concept and how short and to the point it is. There’s no excess, no dragging. Just solid start, build up, middle and ending.
That cover page to me is what sticks out. Probably one of my favorite art he’s done. To me, I nicknamed this story “Ghostbusters but a seriously fucked up version.” Which is not a bad thing to me. When re-reading this and Earthbound. It was really hard for me to pick which one was better. This one won out but only barely.

Used Record

Here we are again. A classic ghost story. Thankfully for me. I read this one before I saw the anime episode. When I got to the anime episode, I was like okay this is a pretty short story. There’s no way they can fuck this one up like the most of the Junji Ito Collection anime. Man was I wrong.
They still rushed through the story and took some parts out. However, that crap anime episode does not take away from how much I love this story. It’s just so simple in concept and I love it. I want to get the coloring book so badly just to color the pictures from this story and the next story on my list. More on that in a minute.
I have a fun time reading whenever the song is played. I probably sound ridiculous more than sad and ghostly like the actual singer in the story. It doesn’t matter to me though. I absolutely love this story so much. It was a great start to Shiver in my opinion. Just the less said about the anime episode, the better.

Marionette Mansion

There really isn’t much for me to say about this one. I just love the concept of Marionettes and the plot twist ending of Jean Pierre controlling the family the entire time was unexpected and it was great. I did have a hard time picking which one I liked more between this one and Used Record.
This was for sure the hardest choice I had to make when making this list. This one and Used Record are different in so many ways but I went with this one over Used Record because of my love for the marionettes concept and the twist at the end also helped.
These 2 were my absolute favorites ever since I read them the first time that I did. Here they are.

Whispering Woman

Again. This one ends with the asshole getting his comeuppance. But the whole story leading up to its murderous ending was just very intriguing to me. When I saw this one listed in the episode list for the Maniac Anime list. I was ecstatic. Again, the episode didn’t disappoint and it was my favorite episode in the Maniac series.
I wonder if Mayumi’s condition is a real condition. I sure hope not. That would be scary to have. One of these days, I need to order the Kaikibako figure of Mayumi from this story. That makes me so happy that she has a figure. It was just the odd one out of the series though. If you know what I’m talking about. You know.
Here it is. My number 1 favorite Junji Ito story.

Tomio * Red Turtleneck

Everything about this story is just amazing to me. This one starts before it’s cover page does. That’s pretty cool. I don’t believe any of the other short stories have done that. I could be wrong though. The cover of Fragments of Horror really stuck out to me of every other Junji Ito cover. Mostly because it’s a play on my favorite painting.
This one is the guy posed like the scream. I thought the cover was just done up for fun but no. This story shows that there is a reason that Tomio is posed like that on the cover. Which I thought was clever and creative. I loved that. This is another one of those characters being in another story.
Whether or not Futon and this one are canon to each other or they just have the same characters or not I have no clue. If I had to imagine which was first between this one and Futon is the order they appear in the book. Futon being first then this happening sometime after.
Another reason this one appeals to me is the fortune teller character. I don’t think she’s ever named. I just have a thing for Fortune Tellers like this in fiction. No I wouldn’t want her after reading this story. Even if she was still alive. This was one with a somewhat good ending.
I was hoping that Tomio was going to have his head fall off and the fortune teller would go on doing it in the future but it didn’t. Actually, I like how Mr. Ito wrote the ending though. Him still holding his head in place out of fear from the trauma. So hard hitting and great.
There is a live action adaption of this story. Why? I truly don’t know. When I found out about this though, I had to see it for myself as it’s my favorite Ito story. It’s not bad. It’s an hour long so a bit long for this story. So they just added some scenes that weren’t in the story and the ending was different. So I didn’t love it. Didn’t hate it either.
Regardless, it did not lower my opinion of this story. It’s my absolute favorite Junji Ito story and will likely not change for a very long time. Everything about it to me is just amazing.
I hope you enjoyed reading this and let me know what your favorite Junji Ito short stories are!

I am NOT the OP, this is a repost!

Trigger warning: Infidelity, Post-partum depression, spousal neglect.

Original post, on relationship_advice (March 13th 2023).
I (28M) don't know how to tell my wife (24F) that I cheated on her while she had post-partum depression
I know I'm a POS and I don't deserve my wife and our two beautiful sons (4 and 2). I know that by telling her this will be the end of our marriage. She will not forgive me, there will be no talking through it. She will tell me to pack my bags and leave immediately. I can't live with the guilt of not telling her, but I can't live without her. I don't know what to do.
Basically, my wife and I always wanted a traditional family. I would go to work and she would stay home with the kids. We both always wanted a large family, a house in the suburbs, a dog, the whole thing. We got married when she was 19 and I was 23. She got pregnant right away and our first son was born nine months to the day after our wedding. He was such an easy, happy baby. We were all so happy. My wife was super passionate about cooking, arts and crafts and home decor. Our home was always spotless, despite having a baby and dog. We had a great marriage and a healthy sex life. We were both naive enough to think that being parents was always going to be easy.
We started trying for another as soon as the doctor cleared us. It took about eight months for her to get pregnant, which stressed her out a lot because she got pregnant so easily with our first. This pregnancy was different. She had no energy. She gained a lot of weight and was unrecognizable. With our first son, she only had a small bump and you wouldn't have even known she was pregnant if you saw her from behind or if she was wearing an oversized shirt. With this pregnancy, she blew up like a balloon. Her face and feet were swollen. I sound like an asshole for saying this, but she looked like a monster. We didn't have sex for the entire pregnancy. Sometimes she would try to initiate, but I always turned her down because I was repulsed by her.
She had a difficult birth and our son was born with some health issues (relatively minor, thankfully, but enough to give us a scare). My wife blamed herself for our son's health issues. In the heat of the moment I told her that if she had been more active during pregnancy then our son probably would have been fine. She just kept sinking further and further into depression. She stopped brushing her hair and it started to mat. I would come home from work at 5pm to find our older son still in his pyjamas. The dirty dishes were piled a mile high in the sink. She stopped showering regularly and she refused to go on a jog to lose the baby weight even though I tried to encourage her by saying I'd cook dinner if she did. Our sons physical needs were being met, but emotionally she was checked out.
I started fantasizing about being single and not having a wife or kids. I started going to the gym and the bar after work instead of going home to them. I met "Cassidy" (19F) at the gym and we really hit it off. She was vocal about never wanting kids and when I would complain about my wife to her, she would pile on too. I was happy at the time because I wanted someone to validate me for being such an asshole, but looking back I'm disgusted. Pretty soon Cassidy and I were dating and I was having a whole separate life behind my wife's back.
After a few months, my wife slowly started to return to her old self. She started taking more pride in her appearance and started cooking from scratch again instead of ordering takeout or frozen food. Our home was clean again and our younger son's health issues were improving. I fell in love with her all over again. I started to realize that Cassidy wasn't as exciting and interesting as I thought she was. She was actually quite dull and stupid and had no real opinions or interests outside of partying and TikTok. I started to suspect that she didn't actually like me either and was just flattered by the attention of a married man and I stupidly enabled it by making her feel special and better than my wife. I ended things with her a few months later and she didn't even seem to care. All in, I was cheating on my wife for just over a year.
My wife has recently started asking to try for a third baby and the guilt all just hit me at once. I feel paralyzed. I have nightmares that she finds out from someone else. I've stopped eating and sleeping. I'm starting to get aches and pains from the stress. I don't know what to do. I know I'm an asshole. I know I don't deserve her. But I don't know how to tell her without breaking her. She's amazing and she never deserved this.

Notable comments:

Do you understand that you were the primary cause of her PPD? When she told you she felt that it was her fault your son had health issues, that was your cue to console her and tell her that there was no way for her to have prevented it. I can't even imagine the guilt spiral that comment must have sent her on you selfish, inconsiderate piece of trash.
Don't you fucking dare knock her up again without telling her what you've done. She can't count on you and you know it [link]

You’re a horrible man. You can see that she’s drowning but you’ll only help if she jogs so you won’t be repulsed by her?! Then double down on that shittiness by staying away even MORE so she doesn’t even have the minuscule help you were giving? Then decided to fuck a teenager 7 years younger than you instead of helping your wife? And then when you were no longer repulsed by your wife you turned your woman hating energy on the teenager you sought out?
Let your wife go, don’t fight on giving her a fair settlement - she deserves more than half of your stuff as well as you helping her get training for a job - and let her find a man that’s not horrible and doesn’t conditionally love her.
And for fucks sake don’t have another kid. You’ll just do the same shit to her again. [link]

No advice just hope you never have even a single good day ever again. [link]

You didn't end your affair because it was wrong. You ended it because your wife found the strength to crawl out of the pit you left her floundering in alone. When she needed you most, you bailed. She's a strong woman but you are a weak man. The guilt is what you get to live with for the rest of your life. [link]

You are an absolutely abhorrent person.
Your wife was so depressed her hair was matted.
I want you to think about that for a few minutes. Think about how low and terrible she must have felt to get to that point.
Instead of being a kind compassionate caring partner and helping her get better you went out and found someone barely legal to sleep with.
I hope she leaves your ass and finds someone who will love her because you do not. You love what she gives you. You love what she does for you. You do not love her. [link]

Did you even try to get her help with the PPD? Good lord...
If the guilt is eating you alive, tell her. Everything. All at once. No trickle truthing. No downplaying or minimzing. Apologize, commit to therapy, offer a post-nup, whatever you think would help HER to get through the implosion.
Then the ball is in her court, and it's her choice whether to kick you to the curb. [link]

here’s what you do: pack some your bags and THEN tell her so when she tells you to fuck off you don’t have to stick around for as long.
maybe stock up on essentials for the house first as well so while she’s dealing with her heart being fucking broken she doesn’t have to severely worry about it affording essentials without you on top of hurting due to you.
also fuck you, you’re part of the reasons why women get so worried these things will happen to them. [link]

There is nothing here that demonstrates you love your wife and plenty that shows you never did. My mouth was hanging open the whole time reading this. I feel so disgusted by your actions and so terrible for your wife that I have no advice to give. [link]

Update post, on relationship_advice (March 15th 2023).
UPDATE: I (28M) don't know how to tell my wife (24F) that I cheated on her while she had post-partum depression
I really didn't expect the last post to blow up so much and even reach TikTok. I'm just going to post an update and then I'll probably delete this account.
As per somebody's advice, I took the day off work, dropped our two sons off at their grandparents' house and sat my wife down. I came fully clean. I made no excuses, told her I didn't expect forgiveness and that she had every right to say or do whatever she wanted. She didn't respond for a while, but then very softly and quietly told me that she wanted me out of the house the next day and that we were done. She didn't scream or cry or show any emotion. I asked her if she wanted to say anything else and she said no. I told her I was sorry and she said she didn't want to hear it. We sat in silence for what felt like forever while she stared blankly into space.
When our sons came home, seeing how expertly she was able to put on a brave face and not let them know anything was wrong broke my heart. It hit me like a ton of bricks that she was used to doing this, and it was all my fault. I slept in the guest room that night, but didn't get much sleep. The next morning, our older son asked me why mommy was crying again last night and said he wanted to cheer her up.
My wife refuses to speak to me, look at me or acknowledge me in any way. I heard her on the phone to her best friend who lives in another country. She told her that she thought she had found a good one and that she was going to break the mold. Her grandfather walked out and left her grandma with nothing. Her dad walked out and left her mom with nothing. I'm a piece of shit, just like every other man in her life.
I left today and she didn't even look at me or say anything. She just continued watching TV and crocheting as if nothing was happening. I'm staying at my parents' house and they are disgusted with me. My mom cried when I told her. They love my wife like their own daughter. I let everybody down. I deserve everything coming my way.

Notable comments:

Get some therapy, try to act like a decent person during the divorce, and focus on being the best co-parent you can be.
You hurt her, seriously and unforgivably. What little control she gets to have now is how she chooses to deal with this. [link]

Well, congrats. You lost your wife and will see your sons 50% of the time at best.
"I'm staying at my parents' house and they are disgusted with me."
Were they supposed to congratulate you?
"My mom cried when I told her."
Poor woman probably thinks how she messed up for her son to cheat on his wife while she had PPD.
You destroyed your wife, your parents and your kids with your cheating. I hope that "Cassidy" was worth it. [link]

Aww everybody look at the sob story from the guy who does, in fact, deserve all of this. [link]

Wow you couldn’t keep your dick out of someone else while your wife was suffering with PPD after birthing your child? What a stand up guy! Look everyone! He’s sad his now ex wife didn’t cry and beg him to stay. Gross dude. Really fucking gross. [link]

You aren't sorry. You are reveling in being the "worst person in the world."
Your entire focus continues to be on yourself. Your entire post is about how her response made you feel.
Nowhere do you state that you intend to make amends, a critical component of true contrition. The only remorse you seem to have is on bad this is making you feel. You made the utterly selfish choice of telling your wife to alleviate YOUR guilt, not for her sake.
Why weren't you willing to live with the guilt - because, just like your decision to cheat, you were only thinking about yourself, what you wanted, and what felt good for you.
Although your marriage is obviously over (or should be), if you wanted to begin to be a decent person, you'd be focused on how to make amends, how to make the situation easier on your ex-wife, and most importantly, how to ease the transition into a broken home for your children.
How good of you to runaway to your parents and leave all the hard work for your wife. [link]

NOTE: Please remember the brigading rule and do not reach out to the OP!

Friendly reminder that I am NOT the OP, this is a repost.

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Friendly reminder that I am NOT the OP, this is a repost.