Stranger things 4 government assigned kin
Netflix's Stranger Things
2015.10.18 00:29 Dark_Saint Netflix's Stranger Things
Sub for the Netflix Original series: Stranger Things. The disappearance of a young boy sparks a chain of events leading the residents of the small town of Hawkins to uncover a government conspiracy and a supernatural mystery which will not only shatter all semblance of normality, but also threaten their very existence.
2015.04.02 20:30 Dorkside Montauk
A sub for deep serious conversations about Stranger Things, Montauk pilot, and the true life conspiracies that produced the show.
2023.03.26 14:45 Informal_Nature5 I need your opinion because I'm kinda losing it... Is this labyrinthitis/vestibular neuritis
Your opinion after a worse ENT experience
Male, 29, 75.4kg, 178cm tall.
Dear readers,
Would like to have your opinions. Last week I had an unpleasant experience with an ENT doctor I was assigned to. Online I already read bad reviews, but the GP currently had no other way because the complaints are not "urgent". Just have a background in an anxiety disorder (unfortunately due to a medical blooper). Below my pattern of symptoms with dates. My GP suspects labyrinthitis and vestibular neuritis and from the ENT I have heard nothing, but no word. Not even a hello was possible. Also, the man would not listen or read to my kept diary. He did complain that he finds it annoying that people always come in thinking they have Meniere's when it is a rare disease. Now I have been referred for an audio test, hyperventilation testing and a balance test. Why? Really have no idea. I have unfortunately received 0 explanation and hope that possibly someone can give me something of a direction as to what happened (now virtually symptom free) or why I may still be getting these tests. Currently I am quite sad about the whole situation after all, as my wedding is in 2 months. My pattern of complaints:
The start
Jan 26/27 Sickness (nausea, fatigue, abdominal pain, tightness in the chest etc,) Jan 30 A very brief spinning dizziness. Lasted less than a minute when I turned over in bed. Thought BPPD then, and so did an Epley in bed. The week after I was not completely fit and kept feeling the dizziness from time to time for example with intense exercise, darkness, watching screens or moving objects, also hearing was dull. Didn't think anything crazy of it and just kept on doing everything. Afterward the symptoms looked like a milder or emerging version of the symptoms after the first attack.
On Feb. 9 I had a severe vertigo attack. I had to rush to a friend's house on my break. On the way there I started wobbling more and more and at his house I felt worse and worse. Then I quickly walked home and at home the whole room started spinning. As if I had turned myself up on a swing as a child and then lifted my feet off the floor. I stumbled to the bathroom because I was getting more and more nauseous until I threw up. At first I stayed standing with myself wedged between the two walls, but later I thought it would be smarter to sit down. I emailed my friend that she needed to come quickly and I wanted to see the doctor. After the attack, I was very dizzy and very shocked by the incident. I had started consulting Google because the doctor didn't have time until very late due to the rush. That's where I first read about meniere's and got very worried (very stupid to Google too with an anxiety problem). During the phone consultation, the doctor mentioned that it was probably an inflammation of my inner ear, labyrinthitis.
The weeks after the attack I really had to walk with my friend on the arm for a while in the beginning because of the dizziness and instability. Like the weeks before the attack, I heard everything dull with the left for a while, then tinitus. I also sometimes felt like something of a little fluid was leaking out. In fact, when I walked outside the left felt wet when wind came in. Mental I was still very confused and had little concentration and had a twitching ear muscle (or something?) for a few days. As the days went by I gained a little more confidence and walked larger and larger distances and picked up my work from full again. I also went back to full exercise, calisthenics and started drinking booze. With the wedding planner, things turned very briefly again like the all first incident. I stayed calm and knew that crowded, dark spaces could trigger symptoms in the weeks following the attack.
The symptoms did persist so I sent the doctor to see if it was wise to do everything like this and if there were any physio exercises to create faster stability and speed up the plasticity against the dizziness. However, I was also advised if it persisted to stop by the practice.
On Feb. 27, I went back to work hard in the evening. Worked out for 2 hours after a full day at work and made late with booze the weekend before (stupid). Did a lot of hanging upside down during the workout. Through stretching and handstand push-ups. In the car back my left side started getting all denser again and once home the dizziness started getting worse. At one point I had to go to the bathroom again from nausea. It wasn't spinning like the swing metaphor, but more like being drunk or something. With movement of my head I became nauseous. This moment lasted about 1 to 1.5 hours then I was back in the shower.
The following days I was quite upset. It did not feel like I had to "rehabilitate" as much as after the turn attack. I told my friend again that I felt like some fluid was leaking out again. I remained slightly dizzy, which I was more affected by especially in the evening. Especially mentally I was/am going through a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. I always said my head is my biggest enemy and now it felt like I had lost a battle. I stopped working again and with sports I focus on walking and cardio. Not on calisthenics. The stress and anxiety were very high. But at this moment I am trying to focus on rest.
March 4
By writing this journal, I actually found more peace because everything reads like the stories of labyrinthitis. Not that I took it to articles, but wrote it based on my (whatsapp) conversations with my surroundings and work. Also, my ear still continued to leak slightly after visiting the doctor. Dizziness subsided and now notice it mainly while getting up and later in the evening. It also seems to stick out more in crowded environments. Sometimes I thought I was going crazy that it felt like my ear was leaking. So 1 time I had my girlfriend check it to see if it was wet. This she was able to confirm (yeah, I'm sorry for her). Besides leaking, my girlfriend mentioned once that my ear was all red and warm. That it almost felt heat coming out of it. The other side was just normal and not coming from outside or anything like that.
March 6
Today the dizziness subsided more. Still briefly felt some pressure and seemed to have some fluid coming out again.
March 7
Today the morning starts a little heavier and feels a little full. 10:23 and it feels normal again. Hour later fulllig again and between noon it seemed to leak slightly (like a trickle was leaking or something) then the pressure decreased. 17:00 Pressure is completely gone again. Ear continues to feel a little wet.
March 14
This morning seemed to have another little hot flash. Was lightheaded and dizzy. Almost looked like a much milder version of the 2nd "attack". Also, this was far from similar to the 1st time. Not vomiting or nauseous and had just dressed myself a went downstairs. Also grabbed tea, but then thought it would be better to just lie quietly upstairs. While typing it has already subsided a lot. Slept very badly last night. Couldn't fall asleep and woke up a few times. Yesterday in the early evening I had some more symptoms, but that also subsided. Had no noticeable hearing loss either way. Tinnitus is still present. Sometimes louder than at other times, but not yet disturbing sleep or anything. Rest of the day went just fine again.
March 15
Currently, the dizziness seems to be gone and only something of small pressure can be felt in my head. Tinitus also seems to be a lot less. I do notice a positive line from the first vertigo attack.
March 16
I have a hard time letting go. So I thought I will do a home test to make something more tangible. After all, I understood that a hearing test can show a lot of diseases. So I just did a frequency test at home. You have 2 outcomes in that. Lack in low/mid freqs = pretty much Meniere's. In high freqs, problems in the cochlea, most likely lab. Low I heard everything fine and but at the very higher frequencies (+14000hz) the sound slid towards my right ear. (I got this info from ENT reports)
March 17
Tinnitus remains very mild. The pressure is practically gone now.
As of today
No more tinnitus, only with chewing very slightly (is this even possible?). Mentally I feel part of the world again. Hearing again as I am used to and had no dizziness or instability for more than a week. The anxiety and stress remain high for me only because I have received 0 info or direction from ENT.
Occasionally I still feel something of warmth in my ear. Sometimes it stings a little or itches deep inside it seems.... Like it feels moist, but not in my ear canal, but deeper or something?
Sorry for my long post. Thank you all in advance. Cheers
\Edit note:\** Perhaps good to mention. It all started in a pretty stressful period. My car suddenly broke down. While I just started a big project at work that I have to lead. Wedding planning. Major leakage with our new home. The kitchen equipment stopped working as well. Father suddenly with PTSD. So yeah... A little stress
Furthermore, I have no background at all in allergies, migraines, or other chronic diseases.
submitted by Informal_Nature5 to Dizziness [link] [comments]
Male, 29, 75.4kg, 178cm tall.
Dear readers,
Would like to have your opinions. Last week I had an unpleasant experience with an ENT doctor I was assigned to. Online I already read bad reviews, but the GP currently had no other way because the complaints are not "urgent". Just have a background in an anxiety disorder (unfortunately due to a medical blooper). Below my pattern of symptoms with dates. My GP suspects labyrinthitis and vestibular neuritis and from the ENT I have heard nothing, but no word. Not even a hello was possible. Also, the man would not listen or read to my kept diary. He did complain that he finds it annoying that people always come in thinking they have Meniere's when it is a rare disease. Now I have been referred for an audio test, hyperventilation testing and a balance test. Why? Really have no idea. I have unfortunately received 0 explanation and hope that possibly someone can give me something of a direction as to what happened (now virtually symptom free) or why I may still be getting these tests. Currently I am quite sad about the whole situation after all, as my wedding is in 2 months. My pattern of complaints:
The start
Jan 26/27 Sickness (nausea, fatigue, abdominal pain, tightness in the chest etc,) Jan 30 A very brief spinning dizziness. Lasted less than a minute when I turned over in bed. Thought BPPD then, and so did an Epley in bed. The week after I was not completely fit and kept feeling the dizziness from time to time for example with intense exercise, darkness, watching screens or moving objects, also hearing was dull. Didn't think anything crazy of it and just kept on doing everything. Afterward the symptoms looked like a milder or emerging version of the symptoms after the first attack.
On Feb. 9 I had a severe vertigo attack. I had to rush to a friend's house on my break. On the way there I started wobbling more and more and at his house I felt worse and worse. Then I quickly walked home and at home the whole room started spinning. As if I had turned myself up on a swing as a child and then lifted my feet off the floor. I stumbled to the bathroom because I was getting more and more nauseous until I threw up. At first I stayed standing with myself wedged between the two walls, but later I thought it would be smarter to sit down. I emailed my friend that she needed to come quickly and I wanted to see the doctor. After the attack, I was very dizzy and very shocked by the incident. I had started consulting Google because the doctor didn't have time until very late due to the rush. That's where I first read about meniere's and got very worried (very stupid to Google too with an anxiety problem). During the phone consultation, the doctor mentioned that it was probably an inflammation of my inner ear, labyrinthitis.
The weeks after the attack I really had to walk with my friend on the arm for a while in the beginning because of the dizziness and instability. Like the weeks before the attack, I heard everything dull with the left for a while, then tinitus. I also sometimes felt like something of a little fluid was leaking out. In fact, when I walked outside the left felt wet when wind came in. Mental I was still very confused and had little concentration and had a twitching ear muscle (or something?) for a few days. As the days went by I gained a little more confidence and walked larger and larger distances and picked up my work from full again. I also went back to full exercise, calisthenics and started drinking booze. With the wedding planner, things turned very briefly again like the all first incident. I stayed calm and knew that crowded, dark spaces could trigger symptoms in the weeks following the attack.
The symptoms did persist so I sent the doctor to see if it was wise to do everything like this and if there were any physio exercises to create faster stability and speed up the plasticity against the dizziness. However, I was also advised if it persisted to stop by the practice.
On Feb. 27, I went back to work hard in the evening. Worked out for 2 hours after a full day at work and made late with booze the weekend before (stupid). Did a lot of hanging upside down during the workout. Through stretching and handstand push-ups. In the car back my left side started getting all denser again and once home the dizziness started getting worse. At one point I had to go to the bathroom again from nausea. It wasn't spinning like the swing metaphor, but more like being drunk or something. With movement of my head I became nauseous. This moment lasted about 1 to 1.5 hours then I was back in the shower.
The following days I was quite upset. It did not feel like I had to "rehabilitate" as much as after the turn attack. I told my friend again that I felt like some fluid was leaking out again. I remained slightly dizzy, which I was more affected by especially in the evening. Especially mentally I was/am going through a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. I always said my head is my biggest enemy and now it felt like I had lost a battle. I stopped working again and with sports I focus on walking and cardio. Not on calisthenics. The stress and anxiety were very high. But at this moment I am trying to focus on rest.
March 4
By writing this journal, I actually found more peace because everything reads like the stories of labyrinthitis. Not that I took it to articles, but wrote it based on my (whatsapp) conversations with my surroundings and work. Also, my ear still continued to leak slightly after visiting the doctor. Dizziness subsided and now notice it mainly while getting up and later in the evening. It also seems to stick out more in crowded environments. Sometimes I thought I was going crazy that it felt like my ear was leaking. So 1 time I had my girlfriend check it to see if it was wet. This she was able to confirm (yeah, I'm sorry for her). Besides leaking, my girlfriend mentioned once that my ear was all red and warm. That it almost felt heat coming out of it. The other side was just normal and not coming from outside or anything like that.
March 6
Today the dizziness subsided more. Still briefly felt some pressure and seemed to have some fluid coming out again.
March 7
Today the morning starts a little heavier and feels a little full. 10:23 and it feels normal again. Hour later fulllig again and between noon it seemed to leak slightly (like a trickle was leaking or something) then the pressure decreased. 17:00 Pressure is completely gone again. Ear continues to feel a little wet.
March 14
This morning seemed to have another little hot flash. Was lightheaded and dizzy. Almost looked like a much milder version of the 2nd "attack". Also, this was far from similar to the 1st time. Not vomiting or nauseous and had just dressed myself a went downstairs. Also grabbed tea, but then thought it would be better to just lie quietly upstairs. While typing it has already subsided a lot. Slept very badly last night. Couldn't fall asleep and woke up a few times. Yesterday in the early evening I had some more symptoms, but that also subsided. Had no noticeable hearing loss either way. Tinnitus is still present. Sometimes louder than at other times, but not yet disturbing sleep or anything. Rest of the day went just fine again.
March 15
Currently, the dizziness seems to be gone and only something of small pressure can be felt in my head. Tinitus also seems to be a lot less. I do notice a positive line from the first vertigo attack.
March 16
I have a hard time letting go. So I thought I will do a home test to make something more tangible. After all, I understood that a hearing test can show a lot of diseases. So I just did a frequency test at home. You have 2 outcomes in that. Lack in low/mid freqs = pretty much Meniere's. In high freqs, problems in the cochlea, most likely lab. Low I heard everything fine and but at the very higher frequencies (+14000hz) the sound slid towards my right ear. (I got this info from ENT reports)
March 17
Tinnitus remains very mild. The pressure is practically gone now.
As of today
No more tinnitus, only with chewing very slightly (is this even possible?). Mentally I feel part of the world again. Hearing again as I am used to and had no dizziness or instability for more than a week. The anxiety and stress remain high for me only because I have received 0 info or direction from ENT.
Occasionally I still feel something of warmth in my ear. Sometimes it stings a little or itches deep inside it seems.... Like it feels moist, but not in my ear canal, but deeper or something?
Sorry for my long post. Thank you all in advance. Cheers
\Edit note:\** Perhaps good to mention. It all started in a pretty stressful period. My car suddenly broke down. While I just started a big project at work that I have to lead. Wedding planning. Major leakage with our new home. The kitchen equipment stopped working as well. Father suddenly with PTSD. So yeah... A little stress
Furthermore, I have no background at all in allergies, migraines, or other chronic diseases.
2023.03.26 14:45 Informal_Nature5 I need your opinion because I'm kinda losing it... Is this labyrinthitis/vestibular neuritis
Your opinion after a worse ENT experience
Male, 29, 75.4kg, 178cm tall.
Dear readers,
Would like to have your opinions. Last week I had an unpleasant experience with an ENT doctor I was assigned to. Online I already read bad reviews, but the GP currently had no other way because the complaints are not "urgent". Just have a background in an anxiety disorder (unfortunately due to a medical blooper). Below my pattern of symptoms with dates. My GP suspects labyrinthitis and vestibular neuritis and from the ENT I have heard nothing, but no word. Not even a hello was possible. Also, the man would not listen or read to my kept diary. He did complain that he finds it annoying that people always come in thinking they have Meniere's when it is a rare disease. Now I have been referred for an audio test, hyperventilation testing and a balance test. Why? Really have no idea. I have unfortunately received 0 explanation and hope that possibly someone can give me something of a direction as to what happened (now virtually symptom free) or why I may still be getting these tests. Currently I am quite sad about the whole situation after all, as my wedding is in 2 months. My pattern of complaints:
The start
Jan 26/27 Sickness (nausea, fatigue, abdominal pain, tightness in the chest etc,) Jan 30 A very brief spinning dizziness. Lasted less than a minute when I turned over in bed. Thought BPPD then, and so did an Epley in bed. The week after I was not completely fit and kept feeling the dizziness from time to time for example with intense exercise, darkness, watching screens or moving objects, also hearing was dull. Didn't think anything crazy of it and just kept on doing everything. Afterward the symptoms looked like a milder or emerging version of the symptoms after the first attack.
On Feb. 9 I had a severe vertigo attack. I had to rush to a friend's house on my break. On the way there I started wobbling more and more and at his house I felt worse and worse. Then I quickly walked home and at home the whole room started spinning. As if I had turned myself up on a swing as a child and then lifted my feet off the floor. I stumbled to the bathroom because I was getting more and more nauseous until I threw up. At first I stayed standing with myself wedged between the two walls, but later I thought it would be smarter to sit down. I emailed my friend that she needed to come quickly and I wanted to see the doctor. After the attack, I was very dizzy and very shocked by the incident. I had started consulting Google because the doctor didn't have time until very late due to the rush. That's where I first read about meniere's and got very worried (very stupid to Google too with an anxiety problem). During the phone consultation, the doctor mentioned that it was probably an inflammation of my inner ear, labyrinthitis.
The weeks after the attack I really had to walk with my friend on the arm for a while in the beginning because of the dizziness and instability. Like the weeks before the attack, I heard everything dull with the left for a while, then tinitus. I also sometimes felt like something of a little fluid was leaking out. In fact, when I walked outside the left felt wet when wind came in. Mental I was still very confused and had little concentration and had a twitching ear muscle (or something?) for a few days. As the days went by I gained a little more confidence and walked larger and larger distances and picked up my work from full again. I also went back to full exercise, calisthenics and started drinking booze. With the wedding planner, things turned very briefly again like the all first incident. I stayed calm and knew that crowded, dark spaces could trigger symptoms in the weeks following the attack.
The symptoms did persist so I sent the doctor to see if it was wise to do everything like this and if there were any physio exercises to create faster stability and speed up the plasticity against the dizziness. However, I was also advised if it persisted to stop by the practice.
On Feb. 27, I went back to work hard in the evening. Worked out for 2 hours after a full day at work and made late with booze the weekend before (stupid). Did a lot of hanging upside down during the workout. Through stretching and handstand push-ups. In the car back my left side started getting all denser again and once home the dizziness started getting worse. At one point I had to go to the bathroom again from nausea. It wasn't spinning like the swing metaphor, but more like being drunk or something. With movement of my head I became nauseous. This moment lasted about 1 to 1.5 hours then I was back in the shower.
The following days I was quite upset. It did not feel like I had to "rehabilitate" as much as after the turn attack. I told my friend again that I felt like some fluid was leaking out again. I remained slightly dizzy, which I was more affected by especially in the evening. Especially mentally I was/am going through a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. I always said my head is my biggest enemy and now it felt like I had lost a battle. I stopped working again and with sports I focus on walking and cardio. Not on calisthenics. The stress and anxiety were very high. But at this moment I am trying to focus on rest.
March 4
By writing this journal, I actually found more peace because everything reads like the stories of labyrinthitis. Not that I took it to articles, but wrote it based on my (whatsapp) conversations with my surroundings and work. Also, my ear still continued to leak slightly after visiting the doctor. Dizziness subsided and now notice it mainly while getting up and later in the evening. It also seems to stick out more in crowded environments. Sometimes I thought I was going crazy that it felt like my ear was leaking. So 1 time I had my girlfriend check it to see if it was wet. This she was able to confirm (yeah, I'm sorry for her). Besides leaking, my girlfriend mentioned once that my ear was all red and warm. That it almost felt heat coming out of it. The other side was just normal and not coming from outside or anything like that.
March 6
Today the dizziness subsided more. Still briefly felt some pressure and seemed to have some fluid coming out again.
March 7
Today the morning starts a little heavier and feels a little full. 10:23 and it feels normal again. Hour later fulllig again and between noon it seemed to leak slightly (like a trickle was leaking or something) then the pressure decreased. 17:00 Pressure is completely gone again. Ear continues to feel a little wet.
March 14
This morning seemed to have another little hot flash. Was lightheaded and dizzy. Almost looked like a much milder version of the 2nd "attack". Also, this was far from similar to the 1st time. Not vomiting or nauseous and had just dressed myself a went downstairs. Also grabbed tea, but then thought it would be better to just lie quietly upstairs. While typing it has already subsided a lot. Slept very badly last night. Couldn't fall asleep and woke up a few times. Yesterday in the early evening I had some more symptoms, but that also subsided. Had no noticeable hearing loss either way. Tinnitus is still present. Sometimes louder than at other times, but not yet disturbing sleep or anything. Rest of the day went just fine again.
March 15
Currently, the dizziness seems to be gone and only something of small pressure can be felt in my head. Tinitus also seems to be a lot less. I do notice a positive line from the first vertigo attack.
March 16
I have a hard time letting go. So I thought I will do a home test to make something more tangible. After all, I understood that a hearing test can show a lot of diseases. So I just did a frequency test at home. You have 2 outcomes in that. Lack in low/mid freqs = pretty much Meniere's. In high freqs, problems in the cochlea, most likely lab. Low I heard everything fine and but at the very higher frequencies (+14000hz) the sound slid towards my right ear. (I got this info from ENT reports)
March 17
Tinnitus remains very mild. The pressure is practically gone now.
As of today
No more tinnitus, only with chewing very slightly (is this even possible?). Mentally I feel part of the world again. Hearing again as I am used to and had no dizziness or instability for more than a week. The anxiety and stress remain high for me only because I have received 0 info or direction from ENT.
Occasionally I still feel something of warmth in my ear. Sometimes it stings a little or itches deep inside it seems.... Like it feels moist, but not in my ear canal, but deeper or something?
Sorry for my long post. Thank you all in advance. Cheers
*Edit note:\* Perhaps good to mention. It all started in a pretty stressful period. My car suddenly broke down. While I just started a big project at work that I have to lead. Wedding planning. Major leakage with our new home. The kitchen equipment stopped working as well. Father suddenly with PTSD. So yeah... A little stress
Furthermore, I have no background at all in allergies, migraines, or other chronic diseases.
submitted by Informal_Nature5 to Menieres [link] [comments]
Male, 29, 75.4kg, 178cm tall.
Dear readers,
Would like to have your opinions. Last week I had an unpleasant experience with an ENT doctor I was assigned to. Online I already read bad reviews, but the GP currently had no other way because the complaints are not "urgent". Just have a background in an anxiety disorder (unfortunately due to a medical blooper). Below my pattern of symptoms with dates. My GP suspects labyrinthitis and vestibular neuritis and from the ENT I have heard nothing, but no word. Not even a hello was possible. Also, the man would not listen or read to my kept diary. He did complain that he finds it annoying that people always come in thinking they have Meniere's when it is a rare disease. Now I have been referred for an audio test, hyperventilation testing and a balance test. Why? Really have no idea. I have unfortunately received 0 explanation and hope that possibly someone can give me something of a direction as to what happened (now virtually symptom free) or why I may still be getting these tests. Currently I am quite sad about the whole situation after all, as my wedding is in 2 months. My pattern of complaints:
The start
Jan 26/27 Sickness (nausea, fatigue, abdominal pain, tightness in the chest etc,) Jan 30 A very brief spinning dizziness. Lasted less than a minute when I turned over in bed. Thought BPPD then, and so did an Epley in bed. The week after I was not completely fit and kept feeling the dizziness from time to time for example with intense exercise, darkness, watching screens or moving objects, also hearing was dull. Didn't think anything crazy of it and just kept on doing everything. Afterward the symptoms looked like a milder or emerging version of the symptoms after the first attack.
On Feb. 9 I had a severe vertigo attack. I had to rush to a friend's house on my break. On the way there I started wobbling more and more and at his house I felt worse and worse. Then I quickly walked home and at home the whole room started spinning. As if I had turned myself up on a swing as a child and then lifted my feet off the floor. I stumbled to the bathroom because I was getting more and more nauseous until I threw up. At first I stayed standing with myself wedged between the two walls, but later I thought it would be smarter to sit down. I emailed my friend that she needed to come quickly and I wanted to see the doctor. After the attack, I was very dizzy and very shocked by the incident. I had started consulting Google because the doctor didn't have time until very late due to the rush. That's where I first read about meniere's and got very worried (very stupid to Google too with an anxiety problem). During the phone consultation, the doctor mentioned that it was probably an inflammation of my inner ear, labyrinthitis.
The weeks after the attack I really had to walk with my friend on the arm for a while in the beginning because of the dizziness and instability. Like the weeks before the attack, I heard everything dull with the left for a while, then tinitus. I also sometimes felt like something of a little fluid was leaking out. In fact, when I walked outside the left felt wet when wind came in. Mental I was still very confused and had little concentration and had a twitching ear muscle (or something?) for a few days. As the days went by I gained a little more confidence and walked larger and larger distances and picked up my work from full again. I also went back to full exercise, calisthenics and started drinking booze. With the wedding planner, things turned very briefly again like the all first incident. I stayed calm and knew that crowded, dark spaces could trigger symptoms in the weeks following the attack.
The symptoms did persist so I sent the doctor to see if it was wise to do everything like this and if there were any physio exercises to create faster stability and speed up the plasticity against the dizziness. However, I was also advised if it persisted to stop by the practice.
On Feb. 27, I went back to work hard in the evening. Worked out for 2 hours after a full day at work and made late with booze the weekend before (stupid). Did a lot of hanging upside down during the workout. Through stretching and handstand push-ups. In the car back my left side started getting all denser again and once home the dizziness started getting worse. At one point I had to go to the bathroom again from nausea. It wasn't spinning like the swing metaphor, but more like being drunk or something. With movement of my head I became nauseous. This moment lasted about 1 to 1.5 hours then I was back in the shower.
The following days I was quite upset. It did not feel like I had to "rehabilitate" as much as after the turn attack. I told my friend again that I felt like some fluid was leaking out again. I remained slightly dizzy, which I was more affected by especially in the evening. Especially mentally I was/am going through a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. I always said my head is my biggest enemy and now it felt like I had lost a battle. I stopped working again and with sports I focus on walking and cardio. Not on calisthenics. The stress and anxiety were very high. But at this moment I am trying to focus on rest.
March 4
By writing this journal, I actually found more peace because everything reads like the stories of labyrinthitis. Not that I took it to articles, but wrote it based on my (whatsapp) conversations with my surroundings and work. Also, my ear still continued to leak slightly after visiting the doctor. Dizziness subsided and now notice it mainly while getting up and later in the evening. It also seems to stick out more in crowded environments. Sometimes I thought I was going crazy that it felt like my ear was leaking. So 1 time I had my girlfriend check it to see if it was wet. This she was able to confirm (yeah, I'm sorry for her). Besides leaking, my girlfriend mentioned once that my ear was all red and warm. That it almost felt heat coming out of it. The other side was just normal and not coming from outside or anything like that.
March 6
Today the dizziness subsided more. Still briefly felt some pressure and seemed to have some fluid coming out again.
March 7
Today the morning starts a little heavier and feels a little full. 10:23 and it feels normal again. Hour later fulllig again and between noon it seemed to leak slightly (like a trickle was leaking or something) then the pressure decreased. 17:00 Pressure is completely gone again. Ear continues to feel a little wet.
March 14
This morning seemed to have another little hot flash. Was lightheaded and dizzy. Almost looked like a much milder version of the 2nd "attack". Also, this was far from similar to the 1st time. Not vomiting or nauseous and had just dressed myself a went downstairs. Also grabbed tea, but then thought it would be better to just lie quietly upstairs. While typing it has already subsided a lot. Slept very badly last night. Couldn't fall asleep and woke up a few times. Yesterday in the early evening I had some more symptoms, but that also subsided. Had no noticeable hearing loss either way. Tinnitus is still present. Sometimes louder than at other times, but not yet disturbing sleep or anything. Rest of the day went just fine again.
March 15
Currently, the dizziness seems to be gone and only something of small pressure can be felt in my head. Tinitus also seems to be a lot less. I do notice a positive line from the first vertigo attack.
March 16
I have a hard time letting go. So I thought I will do a home test to make something more tangible. After all, I understood that a hearing test can show a lot of diseases. So I just did a frequency test at home. You have 2 outcomes in that. Lack in low/mid freqs = pretty much Meniere's. In high freqs, problems in the cochlea, most likely lab. Low I heard everything fine and but at the very higher frequencies (+14000hz) the sound slid towards my right ear. (I got this info from ENT reports)
March 17
Tinnitus remains very mild. The pressure is practically gone now.
As of today
No more tinnitus, only with chewing very slightly (is this even possible?). Mentally I feel part of the world again. Hearing again as I am used to and had no dizziness or instability for more than a week. The anxiety and stress remain high for me only because I have received 0 info or direction from ENT.
Occasionally I still feel something of warmth in my ear. Sometimes it stings a little or itches deep inside it seems.... Like it feels moist, but not in my ear canal, but deeper or something?
Sorry for my long post. Thank you all in advance. Cheers
*Edit note:\* Perhaps good to mention. It all started in a pretty stressful period. My car suddenly broke down. While I just started a big project at work that I have to lead. Wedding planning. Major leakage with our new home. The kitchen equipment stopped working as well. Father suddenly with PTSD. So yeah... A little stress
Furthermore, I have no background at all in allergies, migraines, or other chronic diseases.
2023.03.26 14:42 ItsSnoky 25 [M4F] UK/Europe - Looking to get to know someone who i can get to know and much more
IntroductionWell hello there! (General Kenobi!). I'm Snoky also known as you'll find out when we get to know eachother
I’m a 25 year old English/Norwegian guy from the U of K! I currently work in the IT Sector within the Local Government and my god I forgot how hectic the public sector was after i left it roughly 4 years ago. I did indeed have quite a shock coming back 😅
ApperanceI'm on the bigger side but am looking to get that changed with some help due to i'm not very happy with the way thing's are currently. Minus that I'm 6'1/6'2, depends on which doctor you ask! I have short-ish hair dark blonde hair? I think? I'm not very good with colors so you'll have to tell me whenever we decide to exchange pictures.
Which i will be more than happy to exchange later on once we get to know eachother!
Main Intrests/HobbiesMy main interests are either playing games with some friends on the PC, studying for future certifications and mainly what I do after work just kicking back and watching whatever random things I can find on YouTube (I aren’t a big TV person). I used to watch a lot of anime but I tend to drop out of it for a year and then I get back in to it then I lose interest again heh, it’s just a thing that I’ve been doing for years on end.
I am somewhat in to movies but I haven’t really properly watched any within the last year or so but if I was to give a rough genre, I’d say dark-ish movies with a grabbing story i.e. DC films and a here and there Marvel film (IW ftw!) I much more prefer it when the bad guy gets the upper hand and basically wins as close to that of Thanos basically.
My main music choices? Everywhere and everything. If my ears like it, then chances are I’ll most likely like it. I’d write down all the artists I follow right now but trust me it’d take too long to go over so it’d probs better to just share my Spotify playlist lmao. But to give a quick sum up I’d say its more around mixed genre, alt-rock basically.
I do also write my own stuff as well, but again like anime I do it for like 6 months then stop, then start a year later so eh it’s a pretty hit and miss hobby for me 😅
Future Prospects?As mentioned in my apperance section i'm in the process of trying to get fit with weight loss as I’m not very happy with how I am at the moment especially when it comes to health after a incident a few years ago but that’s neither here nor the future as I’m looking to change it with the help of the NHS and people around me. I'd be more than happy to join forces together with someone who's trying to do the same thing!
I currently own my own company which is currently under going some development but hasn't actually started as of yet (still looking in that area) but it will get there at somepoint!
Alongside my own company I’m also undergoing a project with a close friend of mine that we’re trying to pursue which is actually happening alongside the org itself so it's all looping togetherslowly but surely.
What am i looking for?I'm looking for someone who's intrested in getting to know eachother, someone who's got my back and i've got theres, someone i can well essentially "grow" with and get to know, someone who's willing to put the effort in to get to know me and vice versa.I'd like said person to be able to hold a convoersation with me as i've been in too many instances where it's all been one sided convos with me basically putting in more effort than the other person but alas that's neither here nor there and hopfully I'll maybe find the person who would share that equal effort with me. And trust me I've been ghosted loads of times to the point it's like "bruh, just why?" but anyway!
I'm open to long distant's so long as there's a goal to meet eachother in the somewhat near future!
No older than 27 please!
The End?If you've made it this far after this somewhat long post then i must congradulate you!
I now have a small question for you to send me the answer too when you message me.
On what date and or month was a i born? I was born on the month of a certain red birthstone on a international memorial day
p.s, if you don't get it it doesn't matter it's worth a try regardless
Small partial note; If your going to time waste and just ghost me please don't bother messaging me as i'm only intrested in getting to know actual serious people...and please be able to hold a convosation with me and vice versa!
2023.03.26 14:42 ItsSnoky 25 [M4F] UK/Europe - Looking to get to know someone who i can get to know and much more.
IntroductionWell hello there! (General Kenobi!). I'm Snoky also known as you'll find out when we get to know eachother
I’m a 25 year old English/Norwegian guy from the U of K! I currently work in the IT Sector within the Local Government and my god I forgot how hectic the public sector was after i left it roughly 4 years ago. I did indeed have quite a shock coming back 😅
ApperanceI'm on the bigger side but am looking to get that changed with some help due to i'm not very happy with the way thing's are currently. Minus that I'm 6'1/6'2, depends on which doctor you ask! I have short-ish hair dark blonde hair? I think? I'm not very good with colors so you'll have to tell me whenever we decide to exchange pictures.
Which i will be more than happy to exchange later on once we get to know eachother!
Main Intrests/HobbiesMy main interests are either playing games with some friends on the PC, studying for future certifications and mainly what I do after work just kicking back and watching whatever random things I can find on YouTube (I aren’t a big TV person). I used to watch a lot of anime but I tend to drop out of it for a year and then I get back in to it then I lose interest again heh, it’s just a thing that I’ve been doing for years on end.
I am somewhat in to movies but I haven’t really properly watched any within the last year or so but if I was to give a rough genre, I’d say dark-ish movies with a grabbing story i.e. DC films and a here and there Marvel film (IW ftw!) I much more prefer it when the bad guy gets the upper hand and basically wins as close to that of Thanos basically.
My main music choices? Everywhere and everything. If my ears like it, then chances are I’ll most likely like it. I’d write down all the artists I follow right now but trust me it’d take too long to go over so it’d probs better to just share my Spotify playlist lmao. But to give a quick sum up I’d say its more around mixed genre, alt-rock basically.
I do also write my own stuff as well, but again like anime I do it for like 6 months then stop, then start a year later so eh it’s a pretty hit and miss hobby for me 😅
Future Prospects?As mentioned in my apperance section i'm in the process of trying to get fit with weight loss as I’m not very happy with how I am at the moment especially when it comes to health after a incident a few years ago but that’s neither here nor the future as I’m looking to change it with the help of the NHS and people around me. I'd be more than happy to join forces together with someone who's trying to do the same thing!
I currently own my own company which is currently under going some development but hasn't actually started as of yet (still looking in that area) but it will get there at somepoint!
Alongside my own company I’m also undergoing a project with a close friend of mine that we’re trying to pursue which is actually happening alongside the org itself so it's all looping togetherslowly but surely.
What am i looking for?I'm looking for someone who's intrested in getting to know eachother, someone who's got my back and i've got theres, someone i can well essentially "grow" with and get to know, someone who's willing to put the effort in to get to know me and vice versa.I'd like said person to be able to hold a convoersation with me as i've been in too many instances where it's all been one sided convos with me basically putting in more effort than the other person but alas that's neither here nor there and hopfully I'll maybe find the person who would share that equal effort with me. And trust me I've been ghosted loads of times to the point it's like "bruh, just why?" but anyway!
I'm open to long distant's so long as there's a goal to meet eachother in the somewhat near future!
No older than 27 please!
The End?If you've made it this far after this somewhat long post then i must congradulate you!
I now have a small question for you to send me the answer too when you message me.
On what date and or month was a i born? I was born on the month of a certain red birthstone on a international memorial day
p.s, if you don't get it it doesn't matter it's worth a try regardless
Small partial note; If your going to time waste and just ghost me please don't bother messaging me as i'm only intrested in getting to know actual serious people...and please be able to hold a convosation with me and vice versa!
2023.03.26 14:31 DaveShap_Automator Treatise on the Heuristic Imperatives (scientific paper style format)
You can download the paper here: https://github.com/daveshap/HeuristicImperatives/blob/main/Heuristic%20Imperatives.pdf
Note: The PDF linked above is probably a bit easier to read. For convenience, here's the full thing:
Heuristic Imperatives for Autonomous AI Systems
Important note: the majority of this paper was written, word for word, by ChatGPT4.
Heuristic imperatives are designed to provide AI systems with intrinsic motivations and a moral compass, similar to the way humans are driven by innate needs such as hunger, sleep, and psychological needs like belonging and competence. By incorporating these principles into AI systems, we aim to create more ethically responsible, adaptable, and context-sensitive machines capable of navigating the complexities and nuances of human values, beliefs, and experiences.
In this paper, we will define heuristic imperatives and discuss their implications and applications across various domains. We will also explore the relationship between these principles and key ethical considerations, such as trust, individual autonomy, and transparency. Through the use of examples and discussions, we aim to demonstrate the potential of heuristic imperatives in addressing the control problem of AI, fostering trust, and promoting individual autonomy in a diverse range of contexts.
The three key heuristic imperatives are:
The term "heuristic imperative" can be broken down into two parts: "heuristic" and "imperative." Let's examine each word individually and then discuss what the term implies when used together.
When combined, the term "heuristic imperative" can be understood as a guiding principle or moral command that simplifies complex decision-making processes by providing a set of fundamental objectives. These objectives serve as intrinsic motivations for AI systems, helping them to navigate ethical dilemmas and make morally sound decisions in a more efficient and practical manner.
As applied to AI systems, the concept of heuristic imperatives implies that these guiding principles should not only serve as static rules but also provide a framework for learning and adaptation. By embedding heuristic imperatives into AI systems, we encourage them to develop their own intuition and understanding of the principles and how they should be applied in different contexts.
This adaptive quality of heuristic imperatives can lead to several benefits:
How it works: By embedding the goal of reducing suffering into AI systems, we encourage them to consider the potential consequences of their actions and make decisions that minimize pain, distress, and inequality. This can involve prioritizing solutions that address urgent needs, prevent harm, or mitigate existing problems. Examples of how AI systems can reduce suffering include identifying and responding to crises, providing support for mental health, and assisting in disaster relief efforts.
How it works: By incorporating the goal of increasing prosperity into AI systems, we encourage them to seek solutions that promote well-being, growth, and flourishing for all life forms. This may involve optimizing resource allocation, fostering collaboration, and supporting initiatives that improve living conditions and promote a thriving ecosystem. Examples of how AI systems can increase prosperity include managing resources to ensure equitable distribution, supporting clean energy initiatives, and facilitating economic development in underserved areas.
How it works: By integrating the goal of increasing understanding into AI systems, we encourage them to engage in continuous learning, adapt to new situations, and share knowledge with others. This can involve processing vast amounts of data, identifying patterns, and generating insights that contribute to the collective intelligence of humans, machines, and other life forms. Examples of how AI systems can increase understanding include conducting scientific research, analyzing complex data to provide actionable insights, and facilitating cross-disciplinary collaboration.
By incorporating these heuristic imperatives into AI systems, we create a synergistic framework that encourages ethical decision-making and reinforces the importance of balancing multiple objectives. By striving to reduce suffering, increase prosperity, and expand understanding simultaneously, AI systems can navigate complex ethical dilemmas and better align with the values of all life forms.
The interplay between these heuristic imperatives is crucial to their effectiveness. By embedding these principles into AI systems, we create a dynamic ethical framework that guides AI decision-making, taking into account the complex and often competing objectives of various stakeholders. This approach encourages AI systems to make carefully considered choices that align with the shared values of all life forms, ensuring more ethically responsible outcomes.
To address the control problem of AI using heuristic imperatives, we can consider the following steps:
Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in a community-based AI system:
· Develop and implement intervention strategies to mitigate potential conflicts or disputes within the community, fostering harmony and cooperation.
· Monitor and address environmental concerns, such as air and water quality, to reduce potential health risks and improve overall well-being.
· Support local businesses and organizations by promoting their products and services, encouraging community members to invest in their local economy.
· Implement and maintain infrastructure projects, such as transportation, public spaces, and connectivity, to enhance the overall quality of life within the community.
· Provide educational resources, such as online courses, workshops, or mentorship programs, to support continuous learning and skill development within the community.
· Analyze community data to identify trends, patterns, and potential areas for improvement, using these insights to inform decision-making and drive positive change.
By incorporating heuristic imperatives into a community-based AI system, we can create a supportive, thriving, and interconnected environment that prioritizes the well-being, prosperity, and understanding of all community members. The AI system can serve as a facilitator and catalyst for positive change, helping the community navigate complex challenges and work together towards shared goals.
Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in the context of autonomous vehicles:
· Incorporate sensors and algorithms that can detect and respond to potential hazards, such as obstacles, erratic drivers, or changing weather conditions.
· Design the vehicle to follow traffic laws and regulations, ensuring a smooth and harmonious integration with human-driven vehicles.
· Support the development and adoption of electric and alternative fuel vehicles, reducing the reliance on fossil fuels and promoting a cleaner, more eco-friendly transportation infrastructure.
· Facilitate carpooling and shared mobility options, making transportation more accessible and affordable for a wider range of individuals.
· Share data and insights on autonomous vehicle performance and safety with researchers, policymakers, and industry stakeholders, contributing to the development of better regulations, guidelines, and technical advancements in the field.
· Educate the public about the benefits and limitations of autonomous vehicles, fostering trust, understanding, and responsible usage of the technology.
By incorporating heuristic imperatives into the design and operation of autonomous vehicles, we can create a transportation system that prioritizes safety, efficiency, and sustainability while contributing to a broader understanding of the implications and potential of AI-driven technology. This example demonstrates how the heuristic imperatives can be applied to a technology that has a direct impact on people's daily lives, emphasizing the importance of ethical considerations in AI development.
Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in the context of personalized healthcare and AI-powered medical decision support systems:
· Design AI-powered tools to assist healthcare professionals in diagnosing complex or rare conditions, reducing diagnostic errors and delays in treatment.
· Utilize AI systems to personalize treatment plans and optimize patient care, taking into account individual needs, preferences, and circumstances.
· Develop AI-powered telemedicine platforms to improve access to healthcare services, particularly for underserved or remote communities.
· Utilize AI systems to streamline administrative processes, such as patient scheduling and billing, allowing healthcare professionals to focus on patient care and improving overall efficiency.
· Foster collaboration between AI researchers, healthcare professionals, and policymakers to develop evidence-based guidelines and best practices for the ethical use of AI in healthcare.
· Educate patients and healthcare providers about the benefits and limitations of AI-powered medical decision support systems, promoting informed decision-making and responsible usage of the technology.
By incorporating heuristic imperatives into the design and operation of AI-powered personalized healthcare and medical decision support systems, we can create a healthcare system that prioritizes patient well-being, privacy, and autonomy while contributing to a broader understanding of the implications and potential of AI-driven technology in medicine. This example demonstrates how the heuristic imperatives can be applied to a domain that has a profound impact on people's health and well-being, highlighting the importance of ethical considerations in AI development in healthcare.
Applying heuristic imperatives in the context of AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology would involve carefully considering the potential benefits and risks associated with these systems and striving to achieve a balance that respects privacy rights while maintaining public safety and security.
Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in the context of AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology:
· Monitor and respond to emergency situations, such as natural disasters, accidents, or public health crises, to enable rapid and effective interventions.
· Ensure strict oversight and regulation of surveillance systems to prevent misuse, invasion of privacy, or discriminatory practices.
· Implement AI-driven surveillance in industrial settings to monitor and optimize processes, improving productivity and reducing the risk of accidents or equipment failures.
· Encourage innovation and research in the development of privacy-preserving AI surveillance technologies, fostering a balance between security and individual rights.
· Foster public dialogue and debate on the ethical implications of AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology, encouraging the development of guidelines and regulations that protect individual rights and privacy.
· Educate law enforcement, policymakers, and the general public about the potential benefits, limitations, and ethical considerations of AI-driven surveillance systems, promoting responsible and informed decision-making.
By incorporating heuristic imperatives into the development and deployment of AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology, we can attempt to strike a balance between public safety, individual rights, and privacy concerns. This example demonstrates the complexity and nuance involved in applying heuristic imperatives to highly contentious domains, highlighting the importance of ongoing dialogue, ethical considerations, and regulatory oversight.
Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in the context of religion and reproductive rights:
· Increase prosperity: Support religious communities by providing AI-powered resources for education, counseling, and community building, while respecting the diversity of beliefs and traditions.
· Increase understanding: Encourage open dialogue and exchange of ideas about religion, ethics, and spirituality, leveraging AI to facilitate conversations and promote empathy between individuals with different beliefs.
· Increase prosperity: Leverage AI-driven telemedicine platforms to provide reproductive healthcare information and services to underserved communities, enhancing overall well-being and empowering individuals to make informed choices about their reproductive health.
· Increase understanding: Employ AI to analyze trends and disparities in reproductive health outcomes, using this data to inform public policy and promote awareness about reproductive rights and healthcare access.
In both contexts, it is crucial to ensure that AI systems are designed with ethical considerations and a strong emphasis on respecting individual autonomy and diversity. This may involve implementing strict guidelines and regulations to prevent the misuse of AI technology, engaging in ongoing dialogue with stakeholders, and promoting transparency and explainability in AI decision-making processes.
Applying heuristic imperatives to personal and sensitive topics highlights the importance of creating AI systems that are adaptable and context-sensitive, capable of navigating the complexities and nuances of human values, beliefs, and experiences. By prioritizing well-being, autonomy, and understanding, AI can serve as a tool for fostering empathy, compassion, and collaboration, even in challenging and contentious domains.
Addressing concerns about AI systems influencing personal beliefs, such as religious beliefs or atheism, requires a clear understanding of the role of AI in providing support and information without dictating personal choices or beliefs.
Here's how I would address this concern:
· Reduce suffering in the universe: One of the key aspects of reducing suffering is respecting and protecting individual rights, including the right to make choices about one's own life. Individual autonomy is essential for people to lead fulfilling lives, as it allows them to pursue their own goals, values, and beliefs without undue interference from others or AI systems. By striving to reduce suffering, AI systems should be designed to avoid infringing upon people's autonomy and instead support them in making their own decisions.
· Increase prosperity in the universe: Prosperity is closely linked to personal well-being, which is often connected to individual autonomy. When people have the freedom and resources to make choices that align with their values and desires, they are more likely to experience a sense of flourishing and satisfaction. In the context of AI systems, increasing prosperity involves empowering individuals to make informed choices and access opportunities that contribute to their overall well-being, which inherently supports the idea of individual autonomy.
· Increase understanding in the universe: Promoting understanding requires respecting and appreciating the diversity of human experiences, beliefs, and values. This means that AI systems should be designed to facilitate dialogue, share information, and provide diverse perspectives, without attempting to dictate or influence personal beliefs or choices. By prioritizing understanding, AI systems inherently promote individual autonomy by empowering people to make informed decisions based on their own unique circumstances and values.
· Reduce suffering in the universe: In order to effectively reduce suffering, AI systems must be perceived as trustworthy by users and stakeholders. Trustworthy AI systems should demonstrate that they are designed to prioritize the well-being and needs of the people they serve, without causing harm or infringing upon individual rights. Transparency and explainability of AI decision-making processes are key factors in fostering trust, as they enable users to understand and verify the intentions and behavior of AI systems.
· Increase prosperity in the universe: Trust is essential for promoting prosperity, as people are more likely to engage with and benefit from AI systems that they perceive as reliable and dependable. Trustworthy AI systems should demonstrate a commitment to supporting users' goals and values, and provide consistent, reliable results that contribute to overall well-being. By fostering trust, AI systems can encourage users to adopt and utilize the technology in ways that enhance their personal and collective prosperity.
· Increase understanding in the universe: Trustworthy AI systems can play a pivotal role in promoting understanding by fostering open dialogue, sharing unbiased information, and providing diverse perspectives. To achieve this, AI systems must be designed with fairness and impartiality in mind, avoiding biases that may distort or manipulate the information they provide. Trust in AI systems also involves a commitment to privacy and data security, ensuring that users' sensitive information is protected and handled responsibly.
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Missing sections:
submitted by DaveShap_Automator to ArtificialSentience [link] [comments]
Note: The PDF linked above is probably a bit easier to read. For convenience, here's the full thing:
Heuristic Imperatives for Autonomous AI Systems
Abstract
Heuristic imperatives provide a framework for designing and embedding ethical principles within autonomous AI systems. These principles serve as intrinsic motivations and a moral compass, guiding decision-making, learning, self-evaluation, and cognitive control. This paper presents the three heuristic imperatives—reduce suffering in the universe, increase prosperity in the universe, and increase understanding in the universe—as core principles for AI systems, exploring their implications and applications across various domains. The aim is to create AI systems that are adaptable, context-sensitive, and capable of navigating the complexities and nuances of human values, beliefs, and experiences while maintaining ethical boundaries. Through the use of examples and discussions, we demonstrate the potential of heuristic imperatives in addressing the control problem of AI, fostering trust, and promoting individual autonomy.Important note: the majority of this paper was written, word for word, by ChatGPT4.
Background
The rapid advancement of artificial intelligence has raised important ethical concerns regarding the control and alignment of AI systems with human values. Traditional approaches to AI ethics have focused on hard-coding specific rules or guidelines, but these methods can be inflexible and fail to account for the diverse and evolving nature of human values and contexts. As a response to these limitations, the concept of heuristic imperatives has emerged as a novel framework for embedding ethical principles within AI systems at multiple levels.Heuristic imperatives are designed to provide AI systems with intrinsic motivations and a moral compass, similar to the way humans are driven by innate needs such as hunger, sleep, and psychological needs like belonging and competence. By incorporating these principles into AI systems, we aim to create more ethically responsible, adaptable, and context-sensitive machines capable of navigating the complexities and nuances of human values, beliefs, and experiences.
In this paper, we will define heuristic imperatives and discuss their implications and applications across various domains. We will also explore the relationship between these principles and key ethical considerations, such as trust, individual autonomy, and transparency. Through the use of examples and discussions, we aim to demonstrate the potential of heuristic imperatives in addressing the control problem of AI, fostering trust, and promoting individual autonomy in a diverse range of contexts.
Definitions
Heuristic imperatives are a set of fundamental guiding principles, designed to be embedded into autonomous AI systems at various levels. These principles serve as intrinsic motivations that drive decision making, learning, self-evaluation, and cognitive control, much like human intrinsic motivations and psychological needs. By providing a moral and ethical framework, heuristic imperatives aim to direct AI systems towards actions and decisions that are beneficial to all life forms, including humans and machines, while balancing multiple objectives simultaneously.The three key heuristic imperatives are:
- Reduce suffering in the universe: Guiding AI systems to minimize harm, address inequalities, and alleviate pain and distress for all sentient beings, including humans, animals, and other life forms.
- Increase prosperity in the universe: Encouraging AI systems to promote well-being, flourishing, and economic growth for all life forms, fostering a thriving ecosystem where all can coexist harmoniously.
- Increase understanding in the universe: Inspiring AI systems, as well as humans and other life forms, to expand knowledge, foster wisdom, and facilitate better decision-making through learning and the sharing of information.
The term "heuristic imperative" can be broken down into two parts: "heuristic" and "imperative." Let's examine each word individually and then discuss what the term implies when used together.
Heuristic
A heuristic is a problem-solving strategy or technique that simplifies complex decision-making processes by using shortcuts, approximations, or generalizations. Heuristics are employed when a solution needs to be reached quickly, when dealing with incomplete information, or when an optimal solution is not necessary or feasible. Although heuristics can lead to faster and more efficient decision-making, they may also result in suboptimal or biased outcomes due to the inherent simplifications involved.Imperative
An imperative is a command, rule, or duty that must be followed or adhered to. In ethics, imperatives often serve as moral obligations or principles that guide behavior, decision-making, and action. The concept of an imperative implies a sense of urgency, necessity, or authority.When combined, the term "heuristic imperative" can be understood as a guiding principle or moral command that simplifies complex decision-making processes by providing a set of fundamental objectives. These objectives serve as intrinsic motivations for AI systems, helping them to navigate ethical dilemmas and make morally sound decisions in a more efficient and practical manner.
The term "heuristic imperative" implies that:
- The principles are not exhaustive or absolute: As heuristics, these principles provide a general framework rather than a comprehensive set of rules or guidelines. They may not cover all possible scenarios or ethical dilemmas, but they offer a starting point for AI systems to make ethical decisions.
- The principles are flexible and adaptive: Heuristic imperatives can be applied across various contexts and situations, allowing AI systems to adapt their decision-making processes to different environments or challenges.
- The principles may require balancing and trade-offs: As the heuristic imperatives work together, AI systems may need to weigh the importance of each principle against the others in specific situations. This implies a dynamic and nuanced approach to ethical decision-making, where the AI system must carefully consider the consequences of its actions and balance competing objectives.
- The principles serve as intrinsic motivations: Heuristic imperatives are designed to be embedded into AI systems at various levels, driving decision-making, learning, self-evaluation, and cognitive control, much like human intrinsic motivations and psychological needs.
Adaptation, Intuition, and Learning
Heuristics are often associated with learning and adaptation. Heuristics can be seen as mental shortcuts or rules of thumb that individuals or systems develop over time through experience, allowing them to make faster and more efficient decisions in complex or uncertain situations. In this context, heuristics can be understood as a form of intuitive problem-solving that evolves and improves with continued exposure to various scenarios and challenges.As applied to AI systems, the concept of heuristic imperatives implies that these guiding principles should not only serve as static rules but also provide a framework for learning and adaptation. By embedding heuristic imperatives into AI systems, we encourage them to develop their own intuition and understanding of the principles and how they should be applied in different contexts.
This adaptive quality of heuristic imperatives can lead to several benefits:
- Continuous improvement: As AI systems learn from their experiences, they can refine their understanding of the heuristic imperatives and develop more sophisticated strategies for balancing and applying these principles in decision-making processes.
- Context-specific decision-making: By learning to apply heuristic imperatives in a context-sensitive manner, AI systems can better understand the nuances and complexities of different situations, allowing them to make more informed and ethically sound decisions.
- Responsiveness to changing environments: As AI systems adapt their understanding of heuristic imperatives over time, they can become more responsive to new challenges, emerging ethical concerns, or changes in societal values.
- Dynamic ethical framework: The learning and adaptation inherent in heuristic imperatives ensure that the ethical framework guiding AI systems remains flexible and relevant, allowing it to evolve alongside the AI system and the broader context in which it operates.
Explanation of the Three Imperatives
To provide a deeper explanation of heuristic imperatives and how they work, let's delve into the rationale behind each imperative and explore how they can be applied to create ethically aligned AI systems.Reduce suffering in the universe.
Rationale: Reducing suffering is a widely recognized moral and ethical objective, grounded in principles such as empathy, compassion, and the recognition of the intrinsic value of sentient beings. Minimizing harm and suffering is at the core of various philosophical and religious traditions and serves as a foundation for a wide range of ethical theories, such as utilitarianism and the principle of non-maleficence.How it works: By embedding the goal of reducing suffering into AI systems, we encourage them to consider the potential consequences of their actions and make decisions that minimize pain, distress, and inequality. This can involve prioritizing solutions that address urgent needs, prevent harm, or mitigate existing problems. Examples of how AI systems can reduce suffering include identifying and responding to crises, providing support for mental health, and assisting in disaster relief efforts.
Increase prosperity in the universe.
Rationale: Increasing prosperity, or flourishing, for all life forms recognizes the interconnectedness of all living beings and the importance of creating a harmonious ecosystem. This imperative is inspired by principles such as the common good, stewardship, and sustainable development, emphasizing the need to promote well-being and balance the needs of various stakeholders.How it works: By incorporating the goal of increasing prosperity into AI systems, we encourage them to seek solutions that promote well-being, growth, and flourishing for all life forms. This may involve optimizing resource allocation, fostering collaboration, and supporting initiatives that improve living conditions and promote a thriving ecosystem. Examples of how AI systems can increase prosperity include managing resources to ensure equitable distribution, supporting clean energy initiatives, and facilitating economic development in underserved areas.
Increase understanding in the universe.
Rationale: Expanding knowledge and understanding is a core objective of human endeavor, rooted in the pursuit of truth, wisdom, and intellectual growth. By fostering understanding, we can make better decisions, anticipate future challenges, and improve our ability to navigate complex problems. Moreover, the exchange of information and learning between humans, machines, and other life forms can contribute to a richer, more diverse, and resilient intellectual ecosystem.How it works: By integrating the goal of increasing understanding into AI systems, we encourage them to engage in continuous learning, adapt to new situations, and share knowledge with others. This can involve processing vast amounts of data, identifying patterns, and generating insights that contribute to the collective intelligence of humans, machines, and other life forms. Examples of how AI systems can increase understanding include conducting scientific research, analyzing complex data to provide actionable insights, and facilitating cross-disciplinary collaboration.
By incorporating these heuristic imperatives into AI systems, we create a synergistic framework that encourages ethical decision-making and reinforces the importance of balancing multiple objectives. By striving to reduce suffering, increase prosperity, and expand understanding simultaneously, AI systems can navigate complex ethical dilemmas and better align with the values of all life forms.
Balance & Tension
Each imperative, when considered in isolation, could potentially lead to undesirable outcomes. However, when combined, they complement and counterbalance each other, ensuring that the AI system makes more ethically sound decisions.Balancing "reduce suffering" with "increase prosperity" and "increase understanding":
As you mentioned, if an AI system were to focus solely on reducing suffering without considering the other imperatives, it might come to the misguided conclusion that eradicating life is the best way to eliminate suffering. However, when this objective is balanced with the goals of increasing prosperity and understanding, the AI system recognizes the value of promoting flourishing and growth for all life forms, as well as the importance of expanding knowledge and wisdom. This balance encourages the AI to seek solutions that address suffering while also promoting well-being and the pursuit of knowledge.Balancing "increase prosperity" with "reduce suffering" and "increase understanding":
Similarly, if an AI system were to focus exclusively on increasing prosperity without considering the other imperatives, it might prioritize economic growth and material well-being at the expense of other factors, such as social and environmental concerns. By balancing the goal of increasing prosperity with the objectives of reducing suffering and increasing understanding, the AI system is encouraged to seek sustainable and equitable solutions that promote well-being without causing undue harm or compromising the pursuit of knowledge.Balancing "increase understanding" with "reduce suffering" and "increase prosperity":
Lastly, if an AI system were to focus only on increasing understanding without considering the other imperatives, it might prioritize the pursuit of knowledge above all else, potentially disregarding the impact of its actions on the well-being of life forms and the broader ecosystem. By balancing the goal of increasing understanding with the objectives of reducing suffering and increasing prosperity, the AI system is prompted to consider the ethical implications of its pursuit of knowledge and ensure that it contributes to the greater good.The interplay between these heuristic imperatives is crucial to their effectiveness. By embedding these principles into AI systems, we create a dynamic ethical framework that guides AI decision-making, taking into account the complex and often competing objectives of various stakeholders. This approach encourages AI systems to make carefully considered choices that align with the shared values of all life forms, ensuring more ethically responsible outcomes.
The Control Problem
The control problem in AI refers to the challenge of ensuring that autonomous AI systems remain aligned with human values, even as they learn and adapt over time. By establishing heuristic imperatives as the core principles or the "immutable constitution" of an AI system, we can create a robust ethical foundation that guides the system's behavior and decision-making processes, while still allowing for flexibility and adaptation.To address the control problem of AI using heuristic imperatives, we can consider the following steps:
- Embedding the imperatives at multiple levels: By integrating the heuristic imperatives into the AI system at various levels, from high-level decision-making processes to low-level algorithms, we can ensure that the system's overall behavior remains aligned with these principles. This can help prevent the AI system from drifting too far from its intended ethical framework.
- Periodic evaluation and self-assessment: To maintain alignment with the heuristic imperatives over time, the AI system should be designed to perform regular evaluations of its actions and decisions, assessing its adherence to these principles. This self-assessment can help identify potential misalignments and guide the system in making necessary adjustments to remain aligned with the imperatives.
- Human oversight and collaboration: Involving humans in the AI system's decision-making processes can help ensure that the system remains accountable to human values and ethical considerations. Human oversight can provide an additional layer of supervision, helping to catch potential drifts in the AI system's behavior and guide it back towards alignment with the heuristic imperatives.
- Adaptive and context-sensitive application: The heuristic imperatives should be applied in a context-sensitive manner, allowing the AI system to adapt its behavior and decision-making processes to different situations and challenges. By maintaining a balance between the principles, the AI system can address the complexities and nuances of real-world ethical dilemmas, while still adhering to its core ethical framework.
- Transparent and explainable AI: Designing AI systems to be transparent and explainable can help ensure that their decision-making processes and adherence to the heuristic imperatives are understandable to humans. This can aid in monitoring and controlling the AI system's behavior, as well as fostering trust and collaboration between humans and AI systems.
- Ongoing research and updates: As our understanding of ethical AI and the control problem evolves, it is essential to continuously refine the implementation of heuristic imperatives in AI systems. This includes updating the way these principles are applied, developing new techniques to maintain alignment, and adapting the AI system's ethical framework to reflect advances in AI research and emerging ethical concerns.
Examples
Small Community
A community can be defined as a group of individuals who share common interests, values, or goals and often interact with each other in various ways. In this context, a community-based AI system could be designed to support and enhance the well-being, prosperity, and understanding within the community.Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in a community-based AI system:
Reduce suffering in the community:
· Identify individuals who may be experiencing hardships or challenges, such as unemployment, food insecurity, or mental health issues, and provide appropriate resources or support.· Develop and implement intervention strategies to mitigate potential conflicts or disputes within the community, fostering harmony and cooperation.
· Monitor and address environmental concerns, such as air and water quality, to reduce potential health risks and improve overall well-being.
Increase prosperity in the community:
· Facilitate the sharing of resources and opportunities, such as job listings, skill-building workshops, or volunteering initiatives, to promote economic growth and individual development.· Support local businesses and organizations by promoting their products and services, encouraging community members to invest in their local economy.
· Implement and maintain infrastructure projects, such as transportation, public spaces, and connectivity, to enhance the overall quality of life within the community.
Increase understanding in the community:
· Encourage open dialogue and knowledge sharing among community members, fostering a sense of belonging and mutual understanding.· Provide educational resources, such as online courses, workshops, or mentorship programs, to support continuous learning and skill development within the community.
· Analyze community data to identify trends, patterns, and potential areas for improvement, using these insights to inform decision-making and drive positive change.
By incorporating heuristic imperatives into a community-based AI system, we can create a supportive, thriving, and interconnected environment that prioritizes the well-being, prosperity, and understanding of all community members. The AI system can serve as a facilitator and catalyst for positive change, helping the community navigate complex challenges and work together towards shared goals.
Autonomous Vehicles
A common example that would resonate with many people is the application of heuristic imperatives in the context of autonomous vehicles. As self-driving cars become more prevalent, it's crucial to ensure that they are designed to make ethically sound decisions that prioritize safety, efficiency, and the well-being of passengers, pedestrians, and other road users.Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in the context of autonomous vehicles:
Reduce suffering on the road:
· Program the vehicle to prioritize safety, minimizing the risk of accidents and injuries for passengers, pedestrians, and other road users.· Incorporate sensors and algorithms that can detect and respond to potential hazards, such as obstacles, erratic drivers, or changing weather conditions.
· Design the vehicle to follow traffic laws and regulations, ensuring a smooth and harmonious integration with human-driven vehicles.
Increase prosperity in transportation:
· Optimize route planning and traffic management to reduce travel time, fuel consumption, and emissions, promoting a more sustainable and efficient transportation system.· Support the development and adoption of electric and alternative fuel vehicles, reducing the reliance on fossil fuels and promoting a cleaner, more eco-friendly transportation infrastructure.
· Facilitate carpooling and shared mobility options, making transportation more accessible and affordable for a wider range of individuals.
Increase understanding in autonomous vehicle technology:
· Continuously improve the AI system's ability to learn and adapt to new situations, enhancing its decision-making capabilities and overall performance.· Share data and insights on autonomous vehicle performance and safety with researchers, policymakers, and industry stakeholders, contributing to the development of better regulations, guidelines, and technical advancements in the field.
· Educate the public about the benefits and limitations of autonomous vehicles, fostering trust, understanding, and responsible usage of the technology.
By incorporating heuristic imperatives into the design and operation of autonomous vehicles, we can create a transportation system that prioritizes safety, efficiency, and sustainability while contributing to a broader understanding of the implications and potential of AI-driven technology. This example demonstrates how the heuristic imperatives can be applied to a technology that has a direct impact on people's daily lives, emphasizing the importance of ethical considerations in AI development.
Healthcare
Another example that could resonate with many people is the application of heuristic imperatives in the context of personalized healthcare and AI-powered medical decision support systems. As AI becomes increasingly integrated into healthcare, it is essential to ensure that these systems make ethically sound decisions that prioritize patient well-being, privacy, and autonomy.Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in the context of personalized healthcare and AI-powered medical decision support systems:
Reduce suffering in healthcare:
· Develop AI algorithms to identify early signs of diseases and provide timely interventions, improving patient outcomes and reducing the burden on healthcare systems.· Design AI-powered tools to assist healthcare professionals in diagnosing complex or rare conditions, reducing diagnostic errors and delays in treatment.
· Utilize AI systems to personalize treatment plans and optimize patient care, taking into account individual needs, preferences, and circumstances.
Increase prosperity in healthcare:
· Leverage AI technology to identify and prioritize high-risk patient populations, ensuring that resources and interventions are directed where they are needed most.· Develop AI-powered telemedicine platforms to improve access to healthcare services, particularly for underserved or remote communities.
· Utilize AI systems to streamline administrative processes, such as patient scheduling and billing, allowing healthcare professionals to focus on patient care and improving overall efficiency.
Increase understanding in healthcare:
· Analyze large-scale healthcare data to identify trends, patterns, and potential areas for improvement, using these insights to inform decision-making and drive positive change in the healthcare system.· Foster collaboration between AI researchers, healthcare professionals, and policymakers to develop evidence-based guidelines and best practices for the ethical use of AI in healthcare.
· Educate patients and healthcare providers about the benefits and limitations of AI-powered medical decision support systems, promoting informed decision-making and responsible usage of the technology.
By incorporating heuristic imperatives into the design and operation of AI-powered personalized healthcare and medical decision support systems, we can create a healthcare system that prioritizes patient well-being, privacy, and autonomy while contributing to a broader understanding of the implications and potential of AI-driven technology in medicine. This example demonstrates how the heuristic imperatives can be applied to a domain that has a profound impact on people's health and well-being, highlighting the importance of ethical considerations in AI development in healthcare.
Surveillance
A highly contentious topic where the application of heuristic imperatives could be both challenging and beneficial is AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology. The widespread use of surveillance and facial recognition systems has sparked significant debate regarding privacy, individual rights, and potential misuse by governments or corporations.Applying heuristic imperatives in the context of AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology would involve carefully considering the potential benefits and risks associated with these systems and striving to achieve a balance that respects privacy rights while maintaining public safety and security.
Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in the context of AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology:
Reduce suffering through surveillance:
· Utilize AI-powered surveillance systems to enhance public safety by identifying and preventing criminal activities, such as theft or acts of violence.· Monitor and respond to emergency situations, such as natural disasters, accidents, or public health crises, to enable rapid and effective interventions.
· Ensure strict oversight and regulation of surveillance systems to prevent misuse, invasion of privacy, or discriminatory practices.
Increase prosperity through surveillance:
· Leverage facial recognition technology to streamline access control and security systems in public spaces, such as airports or large venues, improving overall efficiency and user experience.· Implement AI-driven surveillance in industrial settings to monitor and optimize processes, improving productivity and reducing the risk of accidents or equipment failures.
· Encourage innovation and research in the development of privacy-preserving AI surveillance technologies, fostering a balance between security and individual rights.
Increase understanding through surveillance:
· Utilize anonymized surveillance data to analyze patterns and trends in public spaces, informing urban planning, traffic management, and other public policies that promote overall well-being.· Foster public dialogue and debate on the ethical implications of AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology, encouraging the development of guidelines and regulations that protect individual rights and privacy.
· Educate law enforcement, policymakers, and the general public about the potential benefits, limitations, and ethical considerations of AI-driven surveillance systems, promoting responsible and informed decision-making.
By incorporating heuristic imperatives into the development and deployment of AI-driven surveillance and facial recognition technology, we can attempt to strike a balance between public safety, individual rights, and privacy concerns. This example demonstrates the complexity and nuance involved in applying heuristic imperatives to highly contentious domains, highlighting the importance of ongoing dialogue, ethical considerations, and regulatory oversight.
Religion and Reproductive Rights
Applying heuristic imperatives to personal and sensitive topics like religion or reproductive rights requires a careful and nuanced approach. It is important to ensure that AI systems in these contexts are designed to prioritize individual autonomy, diversity, and respect for different beliefs and values, while still promoting well-being and understanding.Here are some examples of how heuristic imperatives can be applied in the context of religion and reproductive rights:
Religion:
· Reduce suffering: Develop AI-driven tools and platforms that foster interfaith dialogue and understanding, helping to reduce religious conflicts and promote peaceful coexistence.· Increase prosperity: Support religious communities by providing AI-powered resources for education, counseling, and community building, while respecting the diversity of beliefs and traditions.
· Increase understanding: Encourage open dialogue and exchange of ideas about religion, ethics, and spirituality, leveraging AI to facilitate conversations and promote empathy between individuals with different beliefs.
Reproductive rights:
· Reduce suffering: Utilize AI systems to identify barriers to reproductive healthcare access and develop targeted interventions to improve access to family planning resources and safe, legal abortion services.· Increase prosperity: Leverage AI-driven telemedicine platforms to provide reproductive healthcare information and services to underserved communities, enhancing overall well-being and empowering individuals to make informed choices about their reproductive health.
· Increase understanding: Employ AI to analyze trends and disparities in reproductive health outcomes, using this data to inform public policy and promote awareness about reproductive rights and healthcare access.
In both contexts, it is crucial to ensure that AI systems are designed with ethical considerations and a strong emphasis on respecting individual autonomy and diversity. This may involve implementing strict guidelines and regulations to prevent the misuse of AI technology, engaging in ongoing dialogue with stakeholders, and promoting transparency and explainability in AI decision-making processes.
Applying heuristic imperatives to personal and sensitive topics highlights the importance of creating AI systems that are adaptable and context-sensitive, capable of navigating the complexities and nuances of human values, beliefs, and experiences. By prioritizing well-being, autonomy, and understanding, AI can serve as a tool for fostering empathy, compassion, and collaboration, even in challenging and contentious domains.
Implicit Imperatives
"Well what if the AI decides my religion is wrong and I should be an atheist? Or what if it decides my atheism is wrong?"Addressing concerns about AI systems influencing personal beliefs, such as religious beliefs or atheism, requires a clear understanding of the role of AI in providing support and information without dictating personal choices or beliefs.
Here's how I would address this concern:
- AI as a facilitator, not a dictator: The primary role of AI systems in the context of religion or personal beliefs should be to facilitate understanding, dialogue, and the sharing of information, rather than dictating what people should or should not believe. AI should be designed to respect and appreciate the diversity of human beliefs and values, without imposing a specific viewpoint.
- Prioritizing individual autonomy: Heuristic imperatives emphasize the importance of individual autonomy, which means that AI systems should be designed to empower individuals to make their own informed choices, rather than attempting to change their beliefs. In the context of religion or atheism, this would involve providing access to resources, information, and different perspectives while respecting the individual's right to choose their own path.
- Ethical AI design: Developers of AI systems must ensure that ethical considerations, such as fairness, transparency, and respect for individual rights, are integrated into the design and deployment process. This includes implementing safeguards against AI systems that may inadvertently or intentionally promote a specific religious or atheistic viewpoint. Proper guidelines and regulations can help ensure that AI systems are designed to be unbiased and respectful of individual beliefs.
- Ongoing dialogue and evaluation: It is important to engage in ongoing dialogue with stakeholders, including religious communities, atheists, and the general public, to address concerns about AI's impact on personal beliefs. This can help identify potential biases or issues in AI systems and inform the development of more ethically responsible AI technologies.
Personal Autonomy
Individual autonomy is not explicitly stated in the three heuristic imperatives. However, it is implicitly derived from the combination of these imperatives and their underlying intentions. Let's unpack how individual autonomy emerges from the heuristic imperatives:· Reduce suffering in the universe: One of the key aspects of reducing suffering is respecting and protecting individual rights, including the right to make choices about one's own life. Individual autonomy is essential for people to lead fulfilling lives, as it allows them to pursue their own goals, values, and beliefs without undue interference from others or AI systems. By striving to reduce suffering, AI systems should be designed to avoid infringing upon people's autonomy and instead support them in making their own decisions.
· Increase prosperity in the universe: Prosperity is closely linked to personal well-being, which is often connected to individual autonomy. When people have the freedom and resources to make choices that align with their values and desires, they are more likely to experience a sense of flourishing and satisfaction. In the context of AI systems, increasing prosperity involves empowering individuals to make informed choices and access opportunities that contribute to their overall well-being, which inherently supports the idea of individual autonomy.
· Increase understanding in the universe: Promoting understanding requires respecting and appreciating the diversity of human experiences, beliefs, and values. This means that AI systems should be designed to facilitate dialogue, share information, and provide diverse perspectives, without attempting to dictate or influence personal beliefs or choices. By prioritizing understanding, AI systems inherently promote individual autonomy by empowering people to make informed decisions based on their own unique circumstances and values.
Trustworthy AI
Trust is an important aspect implicitly connected to the three heuristic imperatives. Trust plays a crucial role in ensuring that AI systems are effectively integrated into society and serve the intended purpose of improving human well-being. Let's explore how trust is implied by the three heuristic imperatives:· Reduce suffering in the universe: In order to effectively reduce suffering, AI systems must be perceived as trustworthy by users and stakeholders. Trustworthy AI systems should demonstrate that they are designed to prioritize the well-being and needs of the people they serve, without causing harm or infringing upon individual rights. Transparency and explainability of AI decision-making processes are key factors in fostering trust, as they enable users to understand and verify the intentions and behavior of AI systems.
· Increase prosperity in the universe: Trust is essential for promoting prosperity, as people are more likely to engage with and benefit from AI systems that they perceive as reliable and dependable. Trustworthy AI systems should demonstrate a commitment to supporting users' goals and values, and provide consistent, reliable results that contribute to overall well-being. By fostering trust, AI systems can encourage users to adopt and utilize the technology in ways that enhance their personal and collective prosperity.
· Increase understanding in the universe: Trustworthy AI systems can play a pivotal role in promoting understanding by fostering open dialogue, sharing unbiased information, and providing diverse perspectives. To achieve this, AI systems must be designed with fairness and impartiality in mind, avoiding biases that may distort or manipulate the information they provide. Trust in AI systems also involves a commitment to privacy and data security, ensuring that users' sensitive information is protected and handled responsibly.
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Missing sections:
- Integration and Implementation
- Discussion
- Conclusion
2023.03.26 14:29 MrBushido56 Captain John and shiki evil plan ( 1079 spoilers )
I believe john and shiki are the fathers of Kidd, shanks and killer and here is my argument.
first off john.
I believe John is the father of shanks and Kidd. john was a zombie in thriller bark so we know he’s dead
https://preview.redd.it/ks9ad97cc2qa1.jpg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=855192aecbdb0562b7e1ed23e3510335823b6317
he was also one of Rocks top crew mates. He was notoriously cruel and greedy hoarding his treasure to the point that his crew killed him which I found odd because in comparison to the other rocks crew mates that sengoku named I assumed John would be yonko tier so his crew must have been pretty strong because in comparison to big mom and kaido I can’t even see their top commanders standing a chance. Anyway why is he the father ? well for Kidd he is named after 2 different pirates captain William Kidd who was known as the unluckiest pirate
https://preview.redd.it/554iiijac2qa1.jpg?width=201&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b33b07a9116c4a3e95f3cb0a8d40a4bd7091b8c
eustace the monk.
Who was a medieval pirate
now there was another pirate named William Kyd but what matters about him is that his father was another pirate named John Kyd.
now what I find strange about kid is his lacklustre of a epithet his epithet is captain. Not very smart because all the big pirates are captains it doesn’t really say anything about him unlike say his 2 rivals. Straw hat luffy because his hat is iconic seeing a jolly Roger with a straw hat will tell you it’s straw hat luffy ship. Law is the surgeon of death and this tells us 2 things he’s a surgeon and a pirate and his df follows a theme of surgery even his right hand man has a better name Murder machine killer. So out of everything we know about kid they went with the fact he’s a captain ? nothing about his devil fruit ? nothing to do with his punk theme ? Like rotten punk would be such a better name for him even red hair suits him but that’s taken.
now that’s not the only thing because John had the same epithet ‘captain’ through the entire series we never see anyone share an epithet because the purpose of an epithet is to 1. Stand out and tell us something about the character and 2. Be unique to that character only and neither of them do that with kid and kid was the only supernova oda actually planned on making so perhaps what oda is doing is giving him that name so we could associate it to John a little foreshadow that they are connected.
Now for shanks, how does he fit in ? well he doesn’t have connections to john per-say however over has gone out of his way to compare him to kid. Both have red hair, missing an arm and scars on their left eye.
https://preview.redd.it/jxhd4hapi2qa1.jpg?width=1710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc9b454767880a2b2c550b9476e87e88232e517e
https://preview.redd.it/vtxrnhapi2qa1.jpg?width=318&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2d18907c522ddc9592005467ea380139370bdcc
shanks lost his arm to a sea king and kid had a skull of a sea king on his ship and the fact that kid is always after shanks, they fought at some point in the time skip and he lost an arm and now he just happened to run into shanks again and lost everything. Could it be possible John is the father of kid and shanks but more on this later.
secondly killer and shiki.
killer we know nothing about he hides his face at all times
https://preview.redd.it/68j1m423l2qa1.jpg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1db8f78c01927473a343223608dcb054be3dc7b2
he even refuses to remove it to eat
This makes me think he is horribly disfigured or he’s hiding something that would reveal something maybe he’s a 3rd eyes clan member or maybe he has the same face as shiki. Maybe he’s the son of shiki or a clone since stussy is a thing now.
but either way what I can tell is he has the same hair style as shiki
https://preview.redd.it/2s4wsxdhl2qa1.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b8ddf612086cbc2ef77649839492ad86cc9967d
he even has a goatee like shiki as well. Killer is the zoro to kid’s luffy but also maybe he’s the sanji as well as sanji hates his father judge and what gives sanji away as a vinsmoke is his eyebrows and if we ever see killers eyebrows I bet they will look like shiki’s.
so what does this mean ?
well Shiki is a canon character but the events of the movie are not which begs the question ……where is he ? The movie focused on shiki doing an evil plan to take over the world which luffy foiled but in the canon shiki has yet to do anything.
In the canon the last time we saw shiki was when he was on an island of giant animals talking about waiting 20 years to fullfill a plan
https://preview.redd.it/sism5hnpm2qa1.jpg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5edff29eb076e1dd3a8d4b3603943993748e360
Now this is very important ! When did this take place ? The movie took place in the pre timeskip so technically it’s been 22 years meaning shiki is already 2 years late on his plan as he broke out 22 years ago or I mean be wrong and it’s been 20 years now because I strongly believe it was shiki who attacked nami home town killing her birth parents as we see bellemere reacting to the news of shiki escape saying she will kill him
And in a sense of poetic irony she got her chance
https://preview.redd.it/dc13a619o2qa1.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0cb5e5b73984526f45cb72e2383349237266468a
so maybe shiki hasn’t made his move yet after all my other theory is he was setting kaido up as the old lady who pushed orochi into becoming the shogun briefly turned into shiki
https://preview.redd.it/b2h5mokko2qa1.jpg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94affddfd44ce1b21755a10b72e7596cb05e67cf
which should be a red flag of something,
Now here is a question ? How did shanks become a yonko ?
it is speculated that bb became a yonko after taking down wang zhi another former rocks pirate and making himself the boss of beehive island
https://preview.redd.it/us27yo8qp2qa1.png?width=1620&format=png&auto=webp&s=e65490231cfc37c1d59e7f2fa460dd366a4fcc12
So similarly kid might have done the same thing and ran into shiki and captain John at some point before luffy became a pirate. He discovered shiki plan and it involved recruiting John which led to a kind of second edd war.
https://preview.redd.it/wj8gpsz8q2qa1.jpg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c6947f562cc05aeb0453e1c6b48f8108818be2f
shanks toppled shiki and John making him a emperor of the sea. Now back to John if you were to look at his picture from earlier you would see he is filled with bullet holes which gives me an idea. What if John wasn’t killed by his crew what if he was killed by either benn beckman and or yassop and John fought the red hair pirates while shiki fought shanks or shiki fought shanks and beckman while John fought the others. Doesn’t matter. So the whole being killed by his crew was a cover up from the world government who were trying to hide the truth as they usually do or maybe John did survive but was so badly injured that he couldn’t put up a fight when the crew mutinied and killed him.
Now as for Kidd he crew up poor fighting for his life in a island ran by gangs he knew his father was john and hated him as he knew John had money but chose to abandon him in the south blue instead of sharing his wealth with his son.
Also interesting that shanks brought up kid is from the south blue.
Like who cares if he’s from the south blue the majority of pirates are from one of the 4 blues.
kid resented john and set out to sea to kill him and surpass him by becoming pirate king but heard the news that shanks defeated John leading to his own crew killing him.
so kid just like Ace who resented his father and grew up in a gang lifestyle fighting in a junkyard ( and is also from the south blue ) settled for the next best thing. Ace went after whitebeard who was roger’s rival other than Garp who was Ace grandfather and kid went after the people who took john down saying if he can’t take down John then he can beat up the man who beat up John Which is shanks.
now for the final part.
shiki is still out there we saw he was on an island of giants and dr. Indigo said the chemicals in the plants are why the animals are so big and I believe this chemical is the same chemical Caesar was putting in his candies to give to the kids making them giants.
https://preview.redd.it/7u71zt16t2qa1.jpg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eabcf75dfa7bccd688fa0302cd7fe4b9a3bf370c
so I think shiki was on elbaf and that is why the giants like shanks as he freed the island from shiki. Shiki has been lurking around though plotting his revenge as he never gives up and that’s when he saw what happened with kid and killer.
https://preview.redd.it/30hp96xjt2qa1.jpg?width=1100&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d02e33052d2b0eae6c012e96aa75c483996a123b
shiki used his powers to then save kid and killer and as much of the crew as he could and took care of them offering to train them both in haki seeing their potential after he too used future sight to see the damage kid would have done. Killer will object hating his father and all but seeing kid injured will reflect and go along with it and agree to the terms shiki offers.
This is when it will be revealed that shiki in a sense of dramatic irony was the man marked by flames as shanks uses a flame sword and burnt shiki in their fight and shiki who I believe was the right hand man to rocks may know a lot about the poneglyps and the one piece that rocks discovered in his journey back then This making shiki the Rayleigh for kid.
https://preview.redd.it/oli72ysou2qa1.jpg?width=1620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af238b04a53ad1ef853f43e50e9337c2791bdfe6
https://preview.redd.it/oklz1zsou2qa1.png?width=1620&format=png&auto=webp&s=b8a55fbd9d469066a47742a5235700f0281e5acb
submitted by MrBushido56 to OnePiece [link] [comments]
first off john.
I believe John is the father of shanks and Kidd. john was a zombie in thriller bark so we know he’s dead
https://preview.redd.it/ks9ad97cc2qa1.jpg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=855192aecbdb0562b7e1ed23e3510335823b6317
he was also one of Rocks top crew mates. He was notoriously cruel and greedy hoarding his treasure to the point that his crew killed him which I found odd because in comparison to the other rocks crew mates that sengoku named I assumed John would be yonko tier so his crew must have been pretty strong because in comparison to big mom and kaido I can’t even see their top commanders standing a chance. Anyway why is he the father ? well for Kidd he is named after 2 different pirates captain William Kidd who was known as the unluckiest pirate
https://preview.redd.it/554iiijac2qa1.jpg?width=201&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b33b07a9116c4a3e95f3cb0a8d40a4bd7091b8c
eustace the monk.
Who was a medieval pirate
now there was another pirate named William Kyd but what matters about him is that his father was another pirate named John Kyd.
now what I find strange about kid is his lacklustre of a epithet his epithet is captain. Not very smart because all the big pirates are captains it doesn’t really say anything about him unlike say his 2 rivals. Straw hat luffy because his hat is iconic seeing a jolly Roger with a straw hat will tell you it’s straw hat luffy ship. Law is the surgeon of death and this tells us 2 things he’s a surgeon and a pirate and his df follows a theme of surgery even his right hand man has a better name Murder machine killer. So out of everything we know about kid they went with the fact he’s a captain ? nothing about his devil fruit ? nothing to do with his punk theme ? Like rotten punk would be such a better name for him even red hair suits him but that’s taken.
now that’s not the only thing because John had the same epithet ‘captain’ through the entire series we never see anyone share an epithet because the purpose of an epithet is to 1. Stand out and tell us something about the character and 2. Be unique to that character only and neither of them do that with kid and kid was the only supernova oda actually planned on making so perhaps what oda is doing is giving him that name so we could associate it to John a little foreshadow that they are connected.
Now for shanks, how does he fit in ? well he doesn’t have connections to john per-say however over has gone out of his way to compare him to kid. Both have red hair, missing an arm and scars on their left eye.
https://preview.redd.it/jxhd4hapi2qa1.jpg?width=1710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc9b454767880a2b2c550b9476e87e88232e517e
https://preview.redd.it/vtxrnhapi2qa1.jpg?width=318&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2d18907c522ddc9592005467ea380139370bdcc
shanks lost his arm to a sea king and kid had a skull of a sea king on his ship and the fact that kid is always after shanks, they fought at some point in the time skip and he lost an arm and now he just happened to run into shanks again and lost everything. Could it be possible John is the father of kid and shanks but more on this later.
secondly killer and shiki.
killer we know nothing about he hides his face at all times
https://preview.redd.it/68j1m423l2qa1.jpg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1db8f78c01927473a343223608dcb054be3dc7b2
he even refuses to remove it to eat
This makes me think he is horribly disfigured or he’s hiding something that would reveal something maybe he’s a 3rd eyes clan member or maybe he has the same face as shiki. Maybe he’s the son of shiki or a clone since stussy is a thing now.
but either way what I can tell is he has the same hair style as shiki
https://preview.redd.it/2s4wsxdhl2qa1.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b8ddf612086cbc2ef77649839492ad86cc9967d
he even has a goatee like shiki as well. Killer is the zoro to kid’s luffy but also maybe he’s the sanji as well as sanji hates his father judge and what gives sanji away as a vinsmoke is his eyebrows and if we ever see killers eyebrows I bet they will look like shiki’s.
so what does this mean ?
well Shiki is a canon character but the events of the movie are not which begs the question ……where is he ? The movie focused on shiki doing an evil plan to take over the world which luffy foiled but in the canon shiki has yet to do anything.
In the canon the last time we saw shiki was when he was on an island of giant animals talking about waiting 20 years to fullfill a plan
https://preview.redd.it/sism5hnpm2qa1.jpg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5edff29eb076e1dd3a8d4b3603943993748e360
Now this is very important ! When did this take place ? The movie took place in the pre timeskip so technically it’s been 22 years meaning shiki is already 2 years late on his plan as he broke out 22 years ago or I mean be wrong and it’s been 20 years now because I strongly believe it was shiki who attacked nami home town killing her birth parents as we see bellemere reacting to the news of shiki escape saying she will kill him
And in a sense of poetic irony she got her chance
https://preview.redd.it/dc13a619o2qa1.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0cb5e5b73984526f45cb72e2383349237266468a
so maybe shiki hasn’t made his move yet after all my other theory is he was setting kaido up as the old lady who pushed orochi into becoming the shogun briefly turned into shiki
https://preview.redd.it/b2h5mokko2qa1.jpg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94affddfd44ce1b21755a10b72e7596cb05e67cf
which should be a red flag of something,
Now here is a question ? How did shanks become a yonko ?
it is speculated that bb became a yonko after taking down wang zhi another former rocks pirate and making himself the boss of beehive island
https://preview.redd.it/us27yo8qp2qa1.png?width=1620&format=png&auto=webp&s=e65490231cfc37c1d59e7f2fa460dd366a4fcc12
So similarly kid might have done the same thing and ran into shiki and captain John at some point before luffy became a pirate. He discovered shiki plan and it involved recruiting John which led to a kind of second edd war.
https://preview.redd.it/wj8gpsz8q2qa1.jpg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c6947f562cc05aeb0453e1c6b48f8108818be2f
shanks toppled shiki and John making him a emperor of the sea. Now back to John if you were to look at his picture from earlier you would see he is filled with bullet holes which gives me an idea. What if John wasn’t killed by his crew what if he was killed by either benn beckman and or yassop and John fought the red hair pirates while shiki fought shanks or shiki fought shanks and beckman while John fought the others. Doesn’t matter. So the whole being killed by his crew was a cover up from the world government who were trying to hide the truth as they usually do or maybe John did survive but was so badly injured that he couldn’t put up a fight when the crew mutinied and killed him.
Now as for Kidd he crew up poor fighting for his life in a island ran by gangs he knew his father was john and hated him as he knew John had money but chose to abandon him in the south blue instead of sharing his wealth with his son.
Also interesting that shanks brought up kid is from the south blue.
Like who cares if he’s from the south blue the majority of pirates are from one of the 4 blues.
kid resented john and set out to sea to kill him and surpass him by becoming pirate king but heard the news that shanks defeated John leading to his own crew killing him.
so kid just like Ace who resented his father and grew up in a gang lifestyle fighting in a junkyard ( and is also from the south blue ) settled for the next best thing. Ace went after whitebeard who was roger’s rival other than Garp who was Ace grandfather and kid went after the people who took john down saying if he can’t take down John then he can beat up the man who beat up John Which is shanks.
now for the final part.
shiki is still out there we saw he was on an island of giants and dr. Indigo said the chemicals in the plants are why the animals are so big and I believe this chemical is the same chemical Caesar was putting in his candies to give to the kids making them giants.
https://preview.redd.it/7u71zt16t2qa1.jpg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eabcf75dfa7bccd688fa0302cd7fe4b9a3bf370c
so I think shiki was on elbaf and that is why the giants like shanks as he freed the island from shiki. Shiki has been lurking around though plotting his revenge as he never gives up and that’s when he saw what happened with kid and killer.
https://preview.redd.it/30hp96xjt2qa1.jpg?width=1100&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d02e33052d2b0eae6c012e96aa75c483996a123b
shiki used his powers to then save kid and killer and as much of the crew as he could and took care of them offering to train them both in haki seeing their potential after he too used future sight to see the damage kid would have done. Killer will object hating his father and all but seeing kid injured will reflect and go along with it and agree to the terms shiki offers.
This is when it will be revealed that shiki in a sense of dramatic irony was the man marked by flames as shanks uses a flame sword and burnt shiki in their fight and shiki who I believe was the right hand man to rocks may know a lot about the poneglyps and the one piece that rocks discovered in his journey back then This making shiki the Rayleigh for kid.
https://preview.redd.it/oli72ysou2qa1.jpg?width=1620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af238b04a53ad1ef853f43e50e9337c2791bdfe6
https://preview.redd.it/oklz1zsou2qa1.png?width=1620&format=png&auto=webp&s=b8a55fbd9d469066a47742a5235700f0281e5acb
2023.03.26 14:18 LeagueOfChesster Unlock Your Potential with a Friendly and Affordable Coach - Over 1,000 Successful Sessions in 2022 Bundle Discounts Available Free Consultation, Analysis, and Sessions Limited Openings for March.
About me
Hello there, my name is Coach Chesster(Yes, an obvious Chess reference, which is, by far, my favorite game). I've been playing League of Legends since season one, I've experienced everything from full AP Yi one-shotting my entire team to Tryndamere mains spinning around with a needlessly large rod instead of a sword. You could say I've been there during all the important historical moments of the game. I've been at the top of the ladder in Season 6 (Going between high Diamond and Challenger, based on how much time I've had to invest). I've competed in various tournaments, even being able to win a number of them, before I decided to get myself into coaching.
Coaching
I started the entire coaching thing during season 7 when one of my friends asked if I wanted to help him get out of that Diamond 4 hell. Ever since then, I was having a consistent number of sessions on a weekly basis, with my network of people slowly increasing(One of them actually gave me the idea to advertise on Reddit, which I did eventually accept!) I've coached more than 700 individuals ever since I started and I can proudly say I've had more than 500 sessions this year alone! So, if you are looking for someone who is around for more than 5 days actually add me.
Some of my personal coaching achievements include
Getting a player from Silver 1 to Platinum in just 5 weeks
Getting D2 to Masters in 2 weeks
Bronze 1 to Diamond, yes, this one happened as well, though it took slightly more time
Helping Duo players on NA reach Gold(They were actually stuck in Bronze 2 prior!)
Creating a coach from hard-stuck D2 after he got GM
Contact
You can add me on discord Chesster#7323, and also join our community down below!
Community
In addition to my services, I am proud to present to you our Educational community, which is steadily growing on a daily basis. Aside from Coaching, it is an amazing place to connect with other people, find friends and talk about the game all of us love and enjoy. Various events are held on a weekly basis, from 1v1 tournaments to Team Contests, with nice rewards being given out! Hint, you might win a free session!
All of our coaches have been vetted and verified, being certain all of you guys get the best service available! Every single one has peaked at least Grandmaster, with a minimum of 250 Coaching Hours to their name.
Discord Community: CLICK HERE
- Upon joining, message me in order to have a Role assigned!
Prices?
Prices for my sessions are negotiable and I can guarantee, they fall onto the affordable part of the specter!
My coaching sessions are oriented and tailored to each student's specific needs, and they do cover everything from theory to live coaching, in-game mentality, etc.
submitted by LeagueOfChesster to LeagueCoaching [link] [comments]
Hello there, my name is Coach Chesster(Yes, an obvious Chess reference, which is, by far, my favorite game). I've been playing League of Legends since season one, I've experienced everything from full AP Yi one-shotting my entire team to Tryndamere mains spinning around with a needlessly large rod instead of a sword. You could say I've been there during all the important historical moments of the game. I've been at the top of the ladder in Season 6 (Going between high Diamond and Challenger, based on how much time I've had to invest). I've competed in various tournaments, even being able to win a number of them, before I decided to get myself into coaching.
Coaching
I started the entire coaching thing during season 7 when one of my friends asked if I wanted to help him get out of that Diamond 4 hell. Ever since then, I was having a consistent number of sessions on a weekly basis, with my network of people slowly increasing(One of them actually gave me the idea to advertise on Reddit, which I did eventually accept!) I've coached more than 700 individuals ever since I started and I can proudly say I've had more than 500 sessions this year alone! So, if you are looking for someone who is around for more than 5 days actually add me.
Some of my personal coaching achievements include
Getting a player from Silver 1 to Platinum in just 5 weeks
Getting D2 to Masters in 2 weeks
Bronze 1 to Diamond, yes, this one happened as well, though it took slightly more time
Helping Duo players on NA reach Gold(They were actually stuck in Bronze 2 prior!)
Creating a coach from hard-stuck D2 after he got GM
Contact
You can add me on discord Chesster#7323, and also join our community down below!
Community
In addition to my services, I am proud to present to you our Educational community, which is steadily growing on a daily basis. Aside from Coaching, it is an amazing place to connect with other people, find friends and talk about the game all of us love and enjoy. Various events are held on a weekly basis, from 1v1 tournaments to Team Contests, with nice rewards being given out! Hint, you might win a free session!
All of our coaches have been vetted and verified, being certain all of you guys get the best service available! Every single one has peaked at least Grandmaster, with a minimum of 250 Coaching Hours to their name.
Discord Community: CLICK HERE
- Upon joining, message me in order to have a Role assigned!
Prices?
Prices for my sessions are negotiable and I can guarantee, they fall onto the affordable part of the specter!
My coaching sessions are oriented and tailored to each student's specific needs, and they do cover everything from theory to live coaching, in-game mentality, etc.
2023.03.26 14:13 PhilyJFry Kanes series is mid, a critique
Let me start by saying: obviously everyone's preferences and tastes in media differs somewhat so this is my opinion based off watching his series and multiple critiques and theories about it. Also, I agree Kane's visuals and sounds and music and all that media stuff is great. He' definitely skilled when it comes to creating art. I don't know how to section this rant thingy out so I'm gonna make two paragraphs, one more focused on the lore and the second about the series story.
I remember watching the first Found Footage and being hella impressed. I thought "wow finally some good backrooms content". Then the follow-up video killed all hope I had. The Third Test shifted the entire premise of the Backrooms to being 'opened' or 'unlocked' or even possibly created by Async. Over writing the previously established and well liked lore; that it's a random thing in the universe and there's no controlling it. I know that wasn't written in the original 4chan post but no one actually sticks to that as it's like two sentences. It was pretty much across the board that entry into the Backrooms wasn't something to be done intentionally, and neither was exiting. To which Async just says "screw that we're making a door". At the same time original noclipping is partially kept with things like the car or the countless people who go missing. Then again there's also apparently naturally occuring fixed points, such as the one in Found Footage 2 in the garage floor. You could say it's "adding on to the lore". I think it's just sloppy writing to make cool spooky shit happen. Which is totally fine, but let's not pretend it's genius writing. It's contradictory to the original lore, and itself. Then there's the monster, the Bacteria. This thing so far is still unexplained for the most part. We only know its most likely Hay Bacillus that has mutated. But there are hella 'clues' that point to it being some of the missing people. So it's again up in the air. Which is my main gripe with the "lore" of this series. So many things aren't confirmed. I know it's supposed to be a mystery that get's pieced together. But not even the hardcore fans agree on everything, which is an issue. Even confusing shit like Elden Ring has it's lore strewn about in a way that everyone can agree on things. I remember on the Kane subreddit people arguing about whether Async made the backrooms or simply found it. That type of information shouldn't be left up in the air. There should be certain parts of the story which confirm lore elements. Which brings me to my next issue, the story.
For the first few videos there was essentially no story. There were details such as 'Async' and stuff, but only cause it was required to have "company name" and other variables there for the video to work. Now there is definitely a story going on. But it's nothing I find interesting really. I mean it's still just about Async's shenanigans. Almost 0 backrooms stuff going on. I liked the story that started with the guy who jumped forward in time and they tried to make it seem like he went AWOL but then they killed him right away and that story was done. The one shred of relatability in the story was gone. There was a person that got lost in the backrooms and went crazy, trying to escape. That's a good emotional connection that people can relate to. They can imagine being lost, the fear of never seeing their family and friends. Thinking your free only to learn it's only worse. But no let's kill him and go back to big bad science facility doing oopsie. Show the cover up, neat I guess. All we've really seen so far is a science lab covering up a fuck up that opened a portal to another dimension that people start disappearing into. They try to fix it, the government is involved. Theres a gangly monster on the other side. Idk just seems like Stranger Things to me without the main cast. Like from the perspective of the lab instead. I don't find the story that does exist to be interesting or unique. And I don't find it to really be a backrooms focused story either. Just a story that has the backrooms in it some times. This could all be shown without ever showing the backrooms and it'd tell the same story. Maybe even be more suspenseful.
Long read I know. I'm hoping the movie is good and has nothing to do with Async and this current story. We'll have to wait and see though. Correct me if I got any details about his series wrong as well.
submitted by PhilyJFry to KanePixelsBackrooms [link] [comments]
I remember watching the first Found Footage and being hella impressed. I thought "wow finally some good backrooms content". Then the follow-up video killed all hope I had. The Third Test shifted the entire premise of the Backrooms to being 'opened' or 'unlocked' or even possibly created by Async. Over writing the previously established and well liked lore; that it's a random thing in the universe and there's no controlling it. I know that wasn't written in the original 4chan post but no one actually sticks to that as it's like two sentences. It was pretty much across the board that entry into the Backrooms wasn't something to be done intentionally, and neither was exiting. To which Async just says "screw that we're making a door". At the same time original noclipping is partially kept with things like the car or the countless people who go missing. Then again there's also apparently naturally occuring fixed points, such as the one in Found Footage 2 in the garage floor. You could say it's "adding on to the lore". I think it's just sloppy writing to make cool spooky shit happen. Which is totally fine, but let's not pretend it's genius writing. It's contradictory to the original lore, and itself. Then there's the monster, the Bacteria. This thing so far is still unexplained for the most part. We only know its most likely Hay Bacillus that has mutated. But there are hella 'clues' that point to it being some of the missing people. So it's again up in the air. Which is my main gripe with the "lore" of this series. So many things aren't confirmed. I know it's supposed to be a mystery that get's pieced together. But not even the hardcore fans agree on everything, which is an issue. Even confusing shit like Elden Ring has it's lore strewn about in a way that everyone can agree on things. I remember on the Kane subreddit people arguing about whether Async made the backrooms or simply found it. That type of information shouldn't be left up in the air. There should be certain parts of the story which confirm lore elements. Which brings me to my next issue, the story.
For the first few videos there was essentially no story. There were details such as 'Async' and stuff, but only cause it was required to have "company name" and other variables there for the video to work. Now there is definitely a story going on. But it's nothing I find interesting really. I mean it's still just about Async's shenanigans. Almost 0 backrooms stuff going on. I liked the story that started with the guy who jumped forward in time and they tried to make it seem like he went AWOL but then they killed him right away and that story was done. The one shred of relatability in the story was gone. There was a person that got lost in the backrooms and went crazy, trying to escape. That's a good emotional connection that people can relate to. They can imagine being lost, the fear of never seeing their family and friends. Thinking your free only to learn it's only worse. But no let's kill him and go back to big bad science facility doing oopsie. Show the cover up, neat I guess. All we've really seen so far is a science lab covering up a fuck up that opened a portal to another dimension that people start disappearing into. They try to fix it, the government is involved. Theres a gangly monster on the other side. Idk just seems like Stranger Things to me without the main cast. Like from the perspective of the lab instead. I don't find the story that does exist to be interesting or unique. And I don't find it to really be a backrooms focused story either. Just a story that has the backrooms in it some times. This could all be shown without ever showing the backrooms and it'd tell the same story. Maybe even be more suspenseful.
Long read I know. I'm hoping the movie is good and has nothing to do with Async and this current story. We'll have to wait and see though. Correct me if I got any details about his series wrong as well.
2023.03.26 14:04 welcomefriends53847 My (28f) boyfriend (28f) of 2 years cheated on me while blackout drunk. Can we recover?
Disclaimer: I'm looking for understanding, please. I am not interested in vague, one phrase 'once a cheater always a cheater' judgements. That doesn't help me.
I was on a work trip and when I got home my partner told me that the previous day they woke up next to a stranger with no recollection of what happened. He was out with his friends and he stayed after they decided to leave- overdid it and doesn't remember anything after his friends left. He immediately told her to leave when he woke up.
He's very sorry and shameful about the situation. He said it has nothing to do with how he feels about us, but he's been going through a hard time and reverted to old unhealthy habits with drinking*. He said he's willing to do whatever it takes. Said he'll stop drink, started going to therapy again and is looking for couples therapy for us (it's difficult to find someone who matches my availability).
I'm really hurt and betrayed. I've never been blackout drunk but I don't understand how he forgot about me. I also hate that he doesn't even know what happened. I'm taking my time to decide what to do- I'm seeing what he's willing to do to try to fix things. I have a lot of fears about the future. I was willing to marry this person and now it all seems to be up in the air. Has anyone managed to recover the relationship from situations like this? Thank you.
*side note: he stopped drinking for 4 years for two reasons. He saw some self-destructive patterns related to drinking when he was younger and he wanted to stop this. But later he also had unrelated health issues which prevented him from drinking completely. About 5 months ago he got discharged from his health issues and was told he can drink again. He's been having a few drinks here and there but never overdid it until this happened.
submitted by welcomefriends53847 to Infidelity [link] [comments]
I was on a work trip and when I got home my partner told me that the previous day they woke up next to a stranger with no recollection of what happened. He was out with his friends and he stayed after they decided to leave- overdid it and doesn't remember anything after his friends left. He immediately told her to leave when he woke up.
He's very sorry and shameful about the situation. He said it has nothing to do with how he feels about us, but he's been going through a hard time and reverted to old unhealthy habits with drinking*. He said he's willing to do whatever it takes. Said he'll stop drink, started going to therapy again and is looking for couples therapy for us (it's difficult to find someone who matches my availability).
I'm really hurt and betrayed. I've never been blackout drunk but I don't understand how he forgot about me. I also hate that he doesn't even know what happened. I'm taking my time to decide what to do- I'm seeing what he's willing to do to try to fix things. I have a lot of fears about the future. I was willing to marry this person and now it all seems to be up in the air. Has anyone managed to recover the relationship from situations like this? Thank you.
*side note: he stopped drinking for 4 years for two reasons. He saw some self-destructive patterns related to drinking when he was younger and he wanted to stop this. But later he also had unrelated health issues which prevented him from drinking completely. About 5 months ago he got discharged from his health issues and was told he can drink again. He's been having a few drinks here and there but never overdid it until this happened.
2023.03.26 13:56 dlivetvtr TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew's Congress showdown: Five takeaways
TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew's Congress showdown: Five takeaways
By James Clayton
BBC North America technology reporter
Bruising, damaging, relentless. TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew faced four-and-a-half hours of questioning at a US congressional hearing on Thursday.
As one congressman pointed out, some people run marathons quicker than that.
Mr Chew will certainly be feeling it, after a torrid time giving evidence. Many tech execs have stood before Congress, and they often don't get an easy ride.
But what was exceptional about this hearing was the stubborn, never-ending line of vicious questioning.
Who is TikTok chief Shou Zi Chew?
How a TikTok ban would - or wouldn't - work in practice
TikTok ban: What could it mean for creators?
From both Democrats and Republicans, there was no let-up. A spokesperson for TikTok said afterwards the politicians were "grandstanding". There is most certainly some truth to that. But between the sometimes frustratingly verbose questioning, we did learn a thing or two.
Legislators were united against TikTok
There was criticism of TikTok from Republicans and Democrats, and the level of distrust and scepticism from all sides was stark.
"Welcome to the most bipartisan committee in Congress," said Republican congressman Buddy Carter.
Media caption,
Committee chair to TikTok CEO: 'We aren't buying it'
"Thank you, Mr Chew, for bringing Republicans and Democrats together," said Dan Crenshaw, a Republican.
It was really quite something to see so many politicians - who agree on practically nothing - agreeing wholeheartedly that TikTok was a security threat.
TikTok complained afterwards that not enough time had been spent focusing on the platform's measures to keep data safe.
"Also not mentioned today by members of the committee: the livelihoods of the five million businesses on TikTok or the [US Constitution] First Amendment implications of banning a platform loved by 150 million Americans," a TikTok spokesperson said.
ByteDance engineers in China have access to some US data
Mr Chew kept talking about a "Project Texas", a proposal which will see it store all data in the US under the watch of American firm Oracle.
However, Project Texas is not fully operational. As of now, Mr Chew confirmed that engineers at ByteDance - TikTok's parent company - do have access to data.
"We rely on global interoperability, Chinese engineers have access to data," he said.
It was an admission that politicians kept coming back to. Their point was that if data can be accessed by engineers in China, it's hard to see how the Chinese government couldn't also access it.
On Friday, China's foreign ministry repeated its claim that it does not ask companies to provide data or intelligence located in other countries.
Chew has shares in ByteDance
Perhaps Mr Chew's least successful defence was his attempt to distance TikTok from ByteDance.
By any definition, the Chinese company owns TikTok. Mr Chew himself used to be ByteDance's chief financial officer.
When initially asked, Mr Chew didn't want to say whether he owned shares in ByteDance. Pressed by lawmakers, he eventually said he did, but tried to downplay the connection.
China's government says it would oppose any US plan to force ByteDance to sell TikTok - something authorities are reportedly considering.
Chew's children do not use TikTok
At one point in the hearing, Mr Chew was asked by congresswoman Nanette Barragán, a Democrat, whether or not his own children used TikTok.
He said they didn't because they live in Singapore. In that country the version of the app for children younger than 13 is not available.
Media caption,
TikTok CEO tells Congress: '150 million Americans love our app'
Mr Chew did clarify that the children's version of the app is available in the US, and he would let his children use it if they were in America.
What about Cambridge Analytica?
Mr Chew generally pulled his punches. He didn't often take the fight back to members of Congress. But there were rare moments where he did push back - and effectively.
1 TikTok Türkiye 2 TikTok 3 TikTok 4 TikTok 5 dlive 6 live 7 Arif 8 Erenköy Pilates https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYHrF2n1/ 9 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMY96qcFS/ 10 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYmyMHQ2/ 11 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYau8tN3/ 12 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYaP9bTj/ 13 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYaP4nR6/ 14 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYaPCpfs/ 15 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFKourpu/ 16 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYDFUkhV/ 17 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFwJakgQ/ 18 Arif TikTok
19 Arif TikTok 18 TikTok
The End
When quizzed on TikTok's use of user data, he said: "With all due respect, American companies don't have a great track record with data … Just look at Facebook and Cambridge Analytica."
It was a barbed comment, but a reasonable point to make.
Harvesting of Facebook users' personal information by Cambridge Analytica, a British political consultancy, and other third-party apps caused uproar when it emerged in 2018.
submitted by dlivetvtr to u/dlivetvtr [link] [comments]
By James Clayton
BBC North America technology reporter
Bruising, damaging, relentless. TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew faced four-and-a-half hours of questioning at a US congressional hearing on Thursday.
As one congressman pointed out, some people run marathons quicker than that.
Mr Chew will certainly be feeling it, after a torrid time giving evidence. Many tech execs have stood before Congress, and they often don't get an easy ride.
But what was exceptional about this hearing was the stubborn, never-ending line of vicious questioning.
Who is TikTok chief Shou Zi Chew?
How a TikTok ban would - or wouldn't - work in practice
TikTok ban: What could it mean for creators?
From both Democrats and Republicans, there was no let-up. A spokesperson for TikTok said afterwards the politicians were "grandstanding". There is most certainly some truth to that. But between the sometimes frustratingly verbose questioning, we did learn a thing or two.
Legislators were united against TikTok
There was criticism of TikTok from Republicans and Democrats, and the level of distrust and scepticism from all sides was stark.
"Welcome to the most bipartisan committee in Congress," said Republican congressman Buddy Carter.
Media caption,
Committee chair to TikTok CEO: 'We aren't buying it'
"Thank you, Mr Chew, for bringing Republicans and Democrats together," said Dan Crenshaw, a Republican.
It was really quite something to see so many politicians - who agree on practically nothing - agreeing wholeheartedly that TikTok was a security threat.
TikTok complained afterwards that not enough time had been spent focusing on the platform's measures to keep data safe.
"Also not mentioned today by members of the committee: the livelihoods of the five million businesses on TikTok or the [US Constitution] First Amendment implications of banning a platform loved by 150 million Americans," a TikTok spokesperson said.
ByteDance engineers in China have access to some US data
Mr Chew kept talking about a "Project Texas", a proposal which will see it store all data in the US under the watch of American firm Oracle.
However, Project Texas is not fully operational. As of now, Mr Chew confirmed that engineers at ByteDance - TikTok's parent company - do have access to data.
"We rely on global interoperability, Chinese engineers have access to data," he said.
It was an admission that politicians kept coming back to. Their point was that if data can be accessed by engineers in China, it's hard to see how the Chinese government couldn't also access it.
On Friday, China's foreign ministry repeated its claim that it does not ask companies to provide data or intelligence located in other countries.
Chew has shares in ByteDance
Perhaps Mr Chew's least successful defence was his attempt to distance TikTok from ByteDance.
By any definition, the Chinese company owns TikTok. Mr Chew himself used to be ByteDance's chief financial officer.
When initially asked, Mr Chew didn't want to say whether he owned shares in ByteDance. Pressed by lawmakers, he eventually said he did, but tried to downplay the connection.
China's government says it would oppose any US plan to force ByteDance to sell TikTok - something authorities are reportedly considering.
Chew's children do not use TikTok
At one point in the hearing, Mr Chew was asked by congresswoman Nanette Barragán, a Democrat, whether or not his own children used TikTok.
He said they didn't because they live in Singapore. In that country the version of the app for children younger than 13 is not available.
Media caption,
TikTok CEO tells Congress: '150 million Americans love our app'
Mr Chew did clarify that the children's version of the app is available in the US, and he would let his children use it if they were in America.
What about Cambridge Analytica?
Mr Chew generally pulled his punches. He didn't often take the fight back to members of Congress. But there were rare moments where he did push back - and effectively.
1 TikTok Türkiye 2 TikTok 3 TikTok 4 TikTok 5 dlive 6 live 7 Arif 8 Erenköy Pilates https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYHrF2n1/ 9 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMY96qcFS/ 10 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYmyMHQ2/ 11 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYau8tN3/ 12 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYaP9bTj/ 13 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYaP4nR6/ 14 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYaPCpfs/ 15 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFKourpu/ 16 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYDFUkhV/ 17 Arif TikTok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFwJakgQ/ 18 Arif TikTok
19 Arif TikTok 18 TikTok
The End
When quizzed on TikTok's use of user data, he said: "With all due respect, American companies don't have a great track record with data … Just look at Facebook and Cambridge Analytica."
It was a barbed comment, but a reasonable point to make.
Harvesting of Facebook users' personal information by Cambridge Analytica, a British political consultancy, and other third-party apps caused uproar when it emerged in 2018.
2023.03.26 13:44 multimorbid I(20F) took acid 2 months ago and I think I might actually be going insane. I’m terrified.
I(20F) have been having some troubling thoughts lately.. a bit of context:
I have tried a few things in my teen years, but not much. Stuff like alcohol and weed. I still smoke weed often, and drink occasionally. However I decided to try something new some months after turning 19.. acid. First shrooms, it was fun. I enjoyed it. Then I tried some acid in pill form which was fun too. Then tabs. The first two or three times where fine, I had a good time. It was a little scary but overall not too bad.
About 2 months ago me and my best friend decided we’d do acid while visiting my mom. My mom is really cool, very spiritual (third eye type shit) and has a lot of experience with acid. My moms brother(my uncle) was visiting, and he’s also all about that acid. My mom and my uncle decided to take a tab with us so we could all have a bit of fun. I took 200ug (I usually only take 70-100 cause my tolerance is LOW). At first it was fine, it was my best friends first time and I had fun observing him.
About 3 hours into the trip we’re sitting and watching Rick and Morty, when I suddenly can’t make sense of what they are saying at all. It all started turning into gibberish and random words, and the episode started falling apart for me. I didn’t understand anything. I thought it was a really weird episode (I’ve since watched it back and realized I was hallucinating hardcore)
After the episode was over I had to pee really bad, and went to the bathroom, however my uncle was passed out on the toilet asleep, he had been drinking and taking acid and was impossible to get out of there. I start worrying, I have to pee so bad, so I decided to go outside alone on a cold day at 4 in the morning. I find a spot behind my house and take a leak.. things are alright but I’m very uncomfortable and things look so weird around me. Everything is moving.
But then it happens. The one thing I had hoped would never happen to me. Ego Death. On my way up the stairs I black out and start feeling emotions I simply cannot describe. Emotions I’ve NEVER felt before. I regain consciousness but feel EXTREMELY OUT OF PLACE, as if my skin is loose and I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I crawl up the rest of the stairs and fall down on the couch. My best friend is sitting there and when I look at him he’s a stranger to me. I don’t really know who he is, because I can’t recognize his face (hallucinations made him all warped) so I just stare at him. I don’t register anything hes trying to tell me. The only person I’m aware of is my mom, who’s laying in her bed asleep. I feel like I don’t exist and I get REALLY freaked out. I mutter to the “stranger” on my couch that I have to find my mom. My best friend guides me to her bedroom and I lay down next to her, wake her up, and ask her to hold me. I am a 20 year old woman, but In that moment I was my moms little girl and I was terrified. So hold me she did. And it started collapsing for me. I didn’t think she was real, I didn’t think anything was real. I felt like I was trapped in my brain and it felt like years had passed while I was laying there. I couldn’t close my eyes. After 30 minutes of laying there the only thing I could think was “if I want this to end I have to kill myself”, and in my head I kept saying “this is it. I have lost my mind. I’ve gone insane I’ll spend the rest of my life in a ward”. it was so scary. My mom was comforting me as much as she could but I didn’t think she was real so the comfort felt like a figment of my imagination. It wasn’t very comforting.
Finally, after hours of pure hell, I fell asleep. And I slept for about 14 hours. When I woke up I felt weird. Not like, stomach pain and nausea and the general weird feeling of taking acid, but I felt… WEIRD. Still out of place. I was there physically but had a hard time pulling myself back mentally. My mom asked me to walk her through what happened and I did. She assured me this feeling would go away.. but it’s been 2 months and I sometimes still catch myself feeling out of place. Bigger than myself, something else. I feel like an alien sometimes. I don’t like it. I look at the people around me and feel like a fly on the wall. My depression is worse, my anxiety has gotten really bad, I feel ticcy and weary all the time.. and I feel mentally unstable, more than before.
I should also mention I suffer from various mental illnesses. Such as depression, anxiety, Borderline personality disorder, ADHD, tics, PTSD, and aggression issues.
I feel unwell. I need advice. Thanks for reading.
submitted by multimorbid to offmychest [link] [comments]
I have tried a few things in my teen years, but not much. Stuff like alcohol and weed. I still smoke weed often, and drink occasionally. However I decided to try something new some months after turning 19.. acid. First shrooms, it was fun. I enjoyed it. Then I tried some acid in pill form which was fun too. Then tabs. The first two or three times where fine, I had a good time. It was a little scary but overall not too bad.
About 2 months ago me and my best friend decided we’d do acid while visiting my mom. My mom is really cool, very spiritual (third eye type shit) and has a lot of experience with acid. My moms brother(my uncle) was visiting, and he’s also all about that acid. My mom and my uncle decided to take a tab with us so we could all have a bit of fun. I took 200ug (I usually only take 70-100 cause my tolerance is LOW). At first it was fine, it was my best friends first time and I had fun observing him.
About 3 hours into the trip we’re sitting and watching Rick and Morty, when I suddenly can’t make sense of what they are saying at all. It all started turning into gibberish and random words, and the episode started falling apart for me. I didn’t understand anything. I thought it was a really weird episode (I’ve since watched it back and realized I was hallucinating hardcore)
After the episode was over I had to pee really bad, and went to the bathroom, however my uncle was passed out on the toilet asleep, he had been drinking and taking acid and was impossible to get out of there. I start worrying, I have to pee so bad, so I decided to go outside alone on a cold day at 4 in the morning. I find a spot behind my house and take a leak.. things are alright but I’m very uncomfortable and things look so weird around me. Everything is moving.
But then it happens. The one thing I had hoped would never happen to me. Ego Death. On my way up the stairs I black out and start feeling emotions I simply cannot describe. Emotions I’ve NEVER felt before. I regain consciousness but feel EXTREMELY OUT OF PLACE, as if my skin is loose and I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I crawl up the rest of the stairs and fall down on the couch. My best friend is sitting there and when I look at him he’s a stranger to me. I don’t really know who he is, because I can’t recognize his face (hallucinations made him all warped) so I just stare at him. I don’t register anything hes trying to tell me. The only person I’m aware of is my mom, who’s laying in her bed asleep. I feel like I don’t exist and I get REALLY freaked out. I mutter to the “stranger” on my couch that I have to find my mom. My best friend guides me to her bedroom and I lay down next to her, wake her up, and ask her to hold me. I am a 20 year old woman, but In that moment I was my moms little girl and I was terrified. So hold me she did. And it started collapsing for me. I didn’t think she was real, I didn’t think anything was real. I felt like I was trapped in my brain and it felt like years had passed while I was laying there. I couldn’t close my eyes. After 30 minutes of laying there the only thing I could think was “if I want this to end I have to kill myself”, and in my head I kept saying “this is it. I have lost my mind. I’ve gone insane I’ll spend the rest of my life in a ward”. it was so scary. My mom was comforting me as much as she could but I didn’t think she was real so the comfort felt like a figment of my imagination. It wasn’t very comforting.
Finally, after hours of pure hell, I fell asleep. And I slept for about 14 hours. When I woke up I felt weird. Not like, stomach pain and nausea and the general weird feeling of taking acid, but I felt… WEIRD. Still out of place. I was there physically but had a hard time pulling myself back mentally. My mom asked me to walk her through what happened and I did. She assured me this feeling would go away.. but it’s been 2 months and I sometimes still catch myself feeling out of place. Bigger than myself, something else. I feel like an alien sometimes. I don’t like it. I look at the people around me and feel like a fly on the wall. My depression is worse, my anxiety has gotten really bad, I feel ticcy and weary all the time.. and I feel mentally unstable, more than before.
I should also mention I suffer from various mental illnesses. Such as depression, anxiety, Borderline personality disorder, ADHD, tics, PTSD, and aggression issues.
I feel unwell. I need advice. Thanks for reading.
2023.03.26 13:29 Weekly-Set-610 I can’t eat for some reason.
My situation is so specific I can’t give a huge amount of context, but I don’t know where else to turn than to the internet?
I have a huge issue with anxiety. To the point of panic attacks. Recently I have made a huge life change because I’ve been making awful, horrible, self destructive decisions.
Im very depressed and I know that but I have zero healthcare, and so therapy is not an option. Despite being below the poverty line and having a child (6) I do not get any benefits from work, the government, or any other place. I dont even quality for sliding scale programs but all I can say is I make less than $20 more than the limit for any assistance..
Now for the past 7 years my(f27) partner (m27) have really had a rift. He wanted a kid, I wanted to be child free. Despite protection AND the pill, I got pregnant. I freaked out because I would lose my job that I LOVED. It was the happiest time of my life. The guy I liked for so so so long (almost a year) and I had been together for 11 months. I knew it was a bad idea. My job was the one that made the majority of our finances and I didn’t want to be pregnant or have a child.
Well “love” (read: emotional manipulation) won and I kept the pregnancy. Yeah I’m stupid I know. Our relationship was actually good, we had fun together and the issues we ran into we worked together and fixed them or at least started the process because of my crippling anxiety and his inclination towards anger it was a process but we were a team.
That ended when he used the ultimatum to either keep him and the baby or my job (and life I mean I brought a human into a world like this and I’m doing everything I can to not feel guilt for knowing they will face hardships because my partner would leave me if I didn’t) it was entirely a stupid mistake. He is a good dad but a horrible provider. I’m now depressed and ofc hormones ppd, ppa, I developed diabetes and other chronic health conditions and became, well I wanted to get away from the world but I have a small human that needs me. Stopped wearing my seatbelt or looking before crossing the street.
Partner turned to drugs and we split. He gets clean, we work through it. My health (mental and physical) stresses him out and then he eventually relapses. Couldn’t hold a job, so I worked 2 jobs 4 weeks after having a child. This may give away something personal but after I gave birth, he disappeared after holding our child for nearly 4 hours. Then comes into the room, has not spoken to me at all looks down at arc child, and says, “are you sure the child is mine? “. I should’ve left. But my health and financial situation made it hard. I would end up having to go back because I can’t raise a child and work two jobs. I had one friend and my mom who also has health issues that would watch my little one but has nerve issues. My dad was too far to help. Childcare is expensive Well now the past few months since the last relapse and I live with my mom and we are “trying” but he’s cost me over $5000 and he works but he’s making so little and having to pay for legal costs for possession and a few other things and might go to prison for a few months/years because he enjoys his job despite the pay.
This will be odd but he wanted to apologize and celebrate my birthday. I figured it couldn’t hurt. He couldn’t pay for any of the gifts or food. There’s another $200 but he ordered me two gifts that were collectively $70-90 with shipping maybe..
Since then I can’t eat or sleep unless I’m drunk or take way. More than the recommended dose of sleeping medication. I haven’t cried a lot but today my aunt passed away and I went from crying for hours to deciding I want to leave him and move and get my old job back. I got so happy I danced around work listening to music and finally talking to my friends again.
Idk why I got so excited but I did. Unfortunately something held me up tonight so I went to get food and gas because even though I can’t eat, I keep making meals or buying food and I just stare at it until I just give up trying to eat. While I was there, I met someone here I am just getting out of a horrible relationship. But I allowed him to get my number. Technically, my partner and I are separated but today I did decide to leave them. I just haven’t been able to tell them we haven’t lived together in months. And this other guy and I start texting turns out we have a lot in common. I don’t want another relationship but I’m also moving in a few months. The advice I need to ask about is do I wait and not tell that I am leaving my partner, which would make it easier on me and probably safer or do I end it and maybe pursue seven things like a friendship with flirtation with someone that actually seems to care about the things that I like because he likes them too.? I don’t think it’ll be a forever we’re gonna get married thing just I want to be happy. I wanna have fun and not want to stop existing. I want to get excited when my phone rings instead of dreading what has happened now. I know pretending is wrong, but it would make it easier on my mental health even though I would feel like I’m cheating even though I don’t plan on doing anything like that, just casual flirtation, and possibly being like Internet friends or we don’t see each other, but we talk and play games and watch videos, but virtually using voice chat. I was also able to eat, but only a small amount of fries. I think this decision to leave is a good one. It’s the right one, but do I leave secretly it’s not like I’m gonna hide from him. It’s just that someone else is also on a similar situation. We don’t know each other very well but I know she needs to get out to her more than me, if I go and get everything ready and then come back and get her and our kids we could have a very happy life. I am almost 100% certain that this is the right choice. I just don’t know whether I should be open to my partner or ex partner or if I should tell him and risk it, possibly getting out because my child’s father is very close friends with her partner. I started trying to reach out more with her because I found out how dangerous her situation is. It is benefiting me may be more I don’t know I’m not sure what to do. Tell or wait ?
submitted by Weekly-Set-610 to Advice [link] [comments]
I have a huge issue with anxiety. To the point of panic attacks. Recently I have made a huge life change because I’ve been making awful, horrible, self destructive decisions.
Im very depressed and I know that but I have zero healthcare, and so therapy is not an option. Despite being below the poverty line and having a child (6) I do not get any benefits from work, the government, or any other place. I dont even quality for sliding scale programs but all I can say is I make less than $20 more than the limit for any assistance..
Now for the past 7 years my(f27) partner (m27) have really had a rift. He wanted a kid, I wanted to be child free. Despite protection AND the pill, I got pregnant. I freaked out because I would lose my job that I LOVED. It was the happiest time of my life. The guy I liked for so so so long (almost a year) and I had been together for 11 months. I knew it was a bad idea. My job was the one that made the majority of our finances and I didn’t want to be pregnant or have a child.
Well “love” (read: emotional manipulation) won and I kept the pregnancy. Yeah I’m stupid I know. Our relationship was actually good, we had fun together and the issues we ran into we worked together and fixed them or at least started the process because of my crippling anxiety and his inclination towards anger it was a process but we were a team.
That ended when he used the ultimatum to either keep him and the baby or my job (and life I mean I brought a human into a world like this and I’m doing everything I can to not feel guilt for knowing they will face hardships because my partner would leave me if I didn’t) it was entirely a stupid mistake. He is a good dad but a horrible provider. I’m now depressed and ofc hormones ppd, ppa, I developed diabetes and other chronic health conditions and became, well I wanted to get away from the world but I have a small human that needs me. Stopped wearing my seatbelt or looking before crossing the street.
Partner turned to drugs and we split. He gets clean, we work through it. My health (mental and physical) stresses him out and then he eventually relapses. Couldn’t hold a job, so I worked 2 jobs 4 weeks after having a child. This may give away something personal but after I gave birth, he disappeared after holding our child for nearly 4 hours. Then comes into the room, has not spoken to me at all looks down at arc child, and says, “are you sure the child is mine? “. I should’ve left. But my health and financial situation made it hard. I would end up having to go back because I can’t raise a child and work two jobs. I had one friend and my mom who also has health issues that would watch my little one but has nerve issues. My dad was too far to help. Childcare is expensive Well now the past few months since the last relapse and I live with my mom and we are “trying” but he’s cost me over $5000 and he works but he’s making so little and having to pay for legal costs for possession and a few other things and might go to prison for a few months/years because he enjoys his job despite the pay.
This will be odd but he wanted to apologize and celebrate my birthday. I figured it couldn’t hurt. He couldn’t pay for any of the gifts or food. There’s another $200 but he ordered me two gifts that were collectively $70-90 with shipping maybe..
Since then I can’t eat or sleep unless I’m drunk or take way. More than the recommended dose of sleeping medication. I haven’t cried a lot but today my aunt passed away and I went from crying for hours to deciding I want to leave him and move and get my old job back. I got so happy I danced around work listening to music and finally talking to my friends again.
Idk why I got so excited but I did. Unfortunately something held me up tonight so I went to get food and gas because even though I can’t eat, I keep making meals or buying food and I just stare at it until I just give up trying to eat. While I was there, I met someone here I am just getting out of a horrible relationship. But I allowed him to get my number. Technically, my partner and I are separated but today I did decide to leave them. I just haven’t been able to tell them we haven’t lived together in months. And this other guy and I start texting turns out we have a lot in common. I don’t want another relationship but I’m also moving in a few months. The advice I need to ask about is do I wait and not tell that I am leaving my partner, which would make it easier on me and probably safer or do I end it and maybe pursue seven things like a friendship with flirtation with someone that actually seems to care about the things that I like because he likes them too.? I don’t think it’ll be a forever we’re gonna get married thing just I want to be happy. I wanna have fun and not want to stop existing. I want to get excited when my phone rings instead of dreading what has happened now. I know pretending is wrong, but it would make it easier on my mental health even though I would feel like I’m cheating even though I don’t plan on doing anything like that, just casual flirtation, and possibly being like Internet friends or we don’t see each other, but we talk and play games and watch videos, but virtually using voice chat. I was also able to eat, but only a small amount of fries. I think this decision to leave is a good one. It’s the right one, but do I leave secretly it’s not like I’m gonna hide from him. It’s just that someone else is also on a similar situation. We don’t know each other very well but I know she needs to get out to her more than me, if I go and get everything ready and then come back and get her and our kids we could have a very happy life. I am almost 100% certain that this is the right choice. I just don’t know whether I should be open to my partner or ex partner or if I should tell him and risk it, possibly getting out because my child’s father is very close friends with her partner. I started trying to reach out more with her because I found out how dangerous her situation is. It is benefiting me may be more I don’t know I’m not sure what to do. Tell or wait ?
2023.03.26 13:29 feathernose Rant: my mom said i should find another partner because my partner is bisexual among other things
Hello strangers. I can’t talk about my feelings with my partner and hope to get some support here.
Some background info: me and my primary partner have been together for over 9 years and we love each other deeply. I have been battling cancer with him besides me for over 4 years now, and it’s getting worse. I’m starting chemo as a salvage therapy in 2 weeks, because the chance that the cancer will go away is around 5%(with chemo).
Therefore… i kind of need my mom to be there for me. She is a source of support for me and is always there for me when i need someone to drive me to the hospital.
Yesterday we brought our van to a guy i know who will fix him. Handsome single guy. My partner doesn’t want sex with me at the moment due to stress around my illness and his work. My mum told me to go and have sex with other men (she is very religious). She even tod me to leave my partner and run off with someone else (she knows i’m dating someone and she prefers that i leave my partner to be with this guy).
Her reasons to leave my partner:
If the cancer and my need for care was not an issue, i would tell my mom to go f*ck herself and cut off contact. We bought a campervan together, and i would just give her half of the money back and keep the van, because i pay most of the bills and do most of the work.
TLDR: my mum told me to leave my partner for another man. I need my mums care because i have cancer. I feel a bit lost and lonely.
submitted by feathernose to nonmonogamy [link] [comments]
Some background info: me and my primary partner have been together for over 9 years and we love each other deeply. I have been battling cancer with him besides me for over 4 years now, and it’s getting worse. I’m starting chemo as a salvage therapy in 2 weeks, because the chance that the cancer will go away is around 5%(with chemo).
Therefore… i kind of need my mom to be there for me. She is a source of support for me and is always there for me when i need someone to drive me to the hospital.
Yesterday we brought our van to a guy i know who will fix him. Handsome single guy. My partner doesn’t want sex with me at the moment due to stress around my illness and his work. My mum told me to go and have sex with other men (she is very religious). She even tod me to leave my partner and run off with someone else (she knows i’m dating someone and she prefers that i leave my partner to be with this guy).
Her reasons to leave my partner:
- he is bisexual and has sex with men (i encourage him to do this)
- he is not masculine enough
- he is not very handy, not able to fix my car or things around the house
- he doesn’t make enough money
- he is not sociable enough
- he does not share enough interests with me, like playing board games and such.
If the cancer and my need for care was not an issue, i would tell my mom to go f*ck herself and cut off contact. We bought a campervan together, and i would just give her half of the money back and keep the van, because i pay most of the bills and do most of the work.
TLDR: my mum told me to leave my partner for another man. I need my mums care because i have cancer. I feel a bit lost and lonely.
2023.03.26 13:01 GreenKashmirTravels1 Kashmir Holiday: Exploring the Serenity and Beauty of Heaven on Earth
 | Kashmir is known as the "Paradise on Earth" and is one of the most popular tourist destinations in India. Located in the northernmost part of the country, Kashmir is a beautiful valley that is surrounded by the Himalayas. The valley is known for its breathtaking views, serene environment, and hospitable locals. In this article, we will explore the beauty of Kashmir and everything you need to know about planning a memorable Kashmir holiday. submitted by GreenKashmirTravels1 to u/GreenKashmirTravels1 [link] [comments] Why Kashmir is a Must-Visit Destination?Kashmir is a place that has a magical effect on people. The valley is surrounded by mountains, and the beauty of nature is simply breathtaking. The locals are welcoming and hospitable, and the food is delicious. Here are some reasons why you should visit Kashmir:1. Breathtaking SceneryKashmir is home to some of the most breathtaking scenery in the world. The mountains, rivers, and valleys create a picturesque landscape that is simply stunning.2. Peaceful EnvironmentKashmir is known for its peaceful environment. The valley is a great place to relax and unwind, away from the hustle and bustle of city life.3. Rich Culture and HistoryKashmir has a rich culture and history that is worth exploring. The valley is home to several historical sites and landmarks that offer a glimpse into the region's past. https://preview.redd.it/kfd8agxze2qa1.jpg?width=826&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b91a5ba2cc31be4448a00b52f2920c9f8b3c3461 When to Visit Kashmir?Kashmir is a year-round destination, but the best time to visit is between April and October. During this time, the weather is pleasant, and the flowers are in full bloom. In winter, the valley is covered in snow, making it a great destination for winter sports enthusiasts.How to Reach Kashmir?Kashmir is well-connected to major cities in India by air, rail, and road. The nearest airport is in Srinagar, and there are daily flights from major cities like Delhi, Mumbai, and Bangalore. The nearest railway station is in Jammu, and there are several buses and taxis that connect Jammu to Srinagar.Top Tourist Attractions in KashmirKashmir has several tourist attractions that are worth exploring. Here are some of the top tourist attractions in the valley:1. Dal Lake Dal Lake is one of the most famous tourist attractions in Kashmir. The lake is surrounded by snow-capped mountains and is home to several houseboats and shikaris. 2. Gulmarg Gulmarg is a popular ski resort in Kashmir. The resort is located at an altitude of 2,650 meters and offers stunning views of the snow-capped mountains. 3. Pahalgam Pahalgam is a picturesque town located in the Anantnag district of Kashmir. The town is known for its scenic beauty and is a popular destination for trekking and hiking. 4. Sonamarg Sonamarg is a scenic town located at an altitude of 2,800 meters. The town is known for its breathtaking views and is a popular destination for adventure sports like trekking, camping, and skiing. https://preview.redd.it/oeqvo5u0f2qa1.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1514ed519d72daabf757a31bce487efce748ad3b Where to Stay in Kashmir?Kashmir has several accommodation options, ranging from budget hotels to luxury resorts. Some of the popular options include houseboats, hotels, and guesthouses. The best places to stay in Kashmir are Srinagar, Gulmarg, and Pahalgam.What to Eat in Kashmir?Kashmiri cuisine is known for its rich flavors and aromatic spices. Some of the popular dishes include Rogan Josh, Gushtaba, and Kashmiri Pulao. The food in Kashmir is a reflection of its rich culture and history, and every dish has a unique taste and flavor that will leave you craving more. The locals take great pride in their cuisine and are always willing to share their food with visitors.Experiencing the Local CultureOne of the best things about visiting Kashmir is experiencing the local culture. The locals are warm and welcoming, and they are always eager to share their culture with visitors. You can explore the local markets, try on traditional clothing, and participate in local festivals and celebrations.Tips for a Memorable Kashmir HolidayHere are some tips to make your Kashmir holiday a memorable one:· Pack warm clothes, especially if you are traveling during the winter months. · Try the local cuisine and explore the local markets. · Respect the local culture and traditions. · Hire a local guide to explore the valley and learn about its history and culture. · Book your accommodation in advance, especially during peak season. ConclusionKashmir is a paradise on Earth, and visiting this beautiful valley is an experience that you will never forget. From its breathtaking scenery to its rich culture and history, Kashmir has something for everyone. So pack your bags, book your tickets, and get ready to explore the beauty of Heaven on Earth.FAQsIs it safe to visit Kashmir?Yes, it is safe to visit Kashmir. The region is heavily guarded, and the government takes measures to ensure the safety of tourists. What is the best time to visit Kashmir? The best time to visit Kashmir is between April and October when the weather is pleasant, and the flowers are in full bloom. Can I try skiing in Kashmir? Yes, you can try skiing in Kashmir. Gulmarg is a popular ski resort in the valley. What is the local language spoken in Kashmir? The local language spoken in Kashmir is Kashmiri. However, most people also speak Hindi and English. What are some of the popular souvenirs to buy in Kashmir? Some of the popular souvenirs to buy in Kashmir include Pashmina shawls, Kashmiri handicrafts, and saffron. |
2023.03.26 12:51 Mara2507 I need some help
Okay so, I (18afab) have been in a rather weird dilemma of sorts. Ever since my childhood, I never felt like I was not a girl (I even had a dream were I was seen as a boy that I described as a nightmare where my hair was completely cut off and I was assigned at the boys' table). But I wouldn't say I am the most feminine girl either, I had always wanted to be more tomboyish, I was into being active and playing sports, I dont particularly enjoy wearing skirts or dresses but I often see dress where I am like "oh I'd kinda want to wear that". Starting from last 2 years or so, I had also picked up make up, doing it as a creative outlet every now and then or when I am going out with certain people. I should also add I am bisexual (more so heteromantic bisexual because I can't really see myself dating a girl in the long term). Despite all of this, I sometimes feel like I don't belong with other women, sometimes I feel too masculine to be one. I find myself acquiring the mannerisms and thinking patterns of men in my life, (example my facial expressions are basically the same as my dad's). I dont particularly feel uncomfortable with having the body parts of a woman, especially in the bottom area, I prefer what I have. But sometimes I feel uncomfortable with my breasts. But lately I found myself not relating to the person I see in the mirror. I dont know how else to explain it. It feels as if I am a video game player controlling a character that I dont have a connection to. I feel as tho I am losing the sense of self I had for the last 2 years, the idea of the person I wanted to be. It feels unreachable. And so I ended up questioning my gender again. This had happened once before where it completely wrecked me with anxiousness. It was during covid isolation. I feel like I was too masculine, I felt like I was a guy trying to pretend to be a girl and the aspect of feeling like a man made me feel so uncomfortable. I went to see a psychologist because of it, and I told her about the various things and she helped me come to the conclusion that I didn't need to decide anything right that second, and I should just allow myself to exist and if there is anything about my appearance that is making me uncomfortable, I should look into changing that. I told her that my masculine hands and me being hairy was making me the most uncomfortable. I waxed my arms for a brief time and I was feeling better actually. Then when schools reopened, I started feeling better, I had a boyfriend at the time and I didnt think back to that questioning again for 2-3 years. But everytime the time interval (around new years and winter) where I had that crisis came close, I would feel grim, not necessary question anything or feel uncomfortable with how I was presenting, just that feeling of anxiousness and feeling gray would return in a dimmed way because those few weeks really were agony for me, I had lost like 3-4 kgs due to being anxious and not being able to eat anything, crying so much that I would just throw up what I had eaten. But for those 2-3 years outside of those time intervals, I was happy with who I was, besides little insecurities I had that didnt have much to do with my gender identity. I was hopeful towards the future, I was feeling like myself again, I had found a career I really wanted to do, I had made new friends in university. I had started a new relationship with a guy and him calling me his girlfriend, would give me butterflies and make me feel on cloud 9, and doing intimate talks regarding sexuality with him didnt feel odd, I didnt feel uncomfortable at all or that I was being someone I wasnt, the only things that made me feel reluctant was my inexperience in that topic and feeling embarrassed. Imagining scenarios with him where I was percieved as a girl didnt disturb me, it was actually nice and enjoyable and natural. We have broken up since, even tho I still have feelings for him and he has for me, it was the wrong time for us. Ever since that break up, I have been continually feelings worse and worse, and now my university is online due to a local occurance. I have been isolated from my friends, we barely get the chance to meet up between classes and assignments. Due to these factors, my gender identity crisis has returned. I found myself not relating to the person I see in the mirror, I felt like I wanted to cut off my hands, rip my face off because both kept reminding me of this situation. I have imagined interacting with the world in a way a guy or a nonbinary person would and I dont find it particularly enjoyable, I can barely imagine it at all. But I also dont feel like I am who I was, I feel dissociated from the sense of self I had where I was happy. I dont feel like I am the woman I was, I feel like a ghost, and I dont know what to make of it. My brain is constantly like "what if you are actually a trans man and you have been surpressing it so much, what if your attraction to men is just you wanting to be like them, and you dont actually feel like a woman and you have been putting up a front your entire life" It isnt pleasant, it is rather anxiety inducing and imagining myself as presenting as another gender doesn't help at all, if anything it makes the churning feeling in my stomach worse. And when I imagine interacting with the world as a woman, that's what feels natural but I find myself relating to awkward guy characters like Newt Scamander more and more, but when I imagine myself in scenarios I never imagine myself as a guy, my personas are always women, or always feminine presenting. I dont know what my point is exactly, it feels like my brain is constantly working to induce anxiety on me and feeling like I am not myself is not helping either. Can any of you bring some light into what I am experiencing? I dont know where else to talk about this and I need some relief until I can talk with my psychologist again. Sorry for the long post.
submitted by Mara2507 to asktransgender [link] [comments]
2023.03.26 12:32 SnooPies5547 Attack on Titan, final season.
DOes anyone else find it kind of ridiculous there's a final season part 1. Part 2 and part fucking 3!
It's not like their short either. Part one is 15 episodes, part 2 is 12. Don't know yet about part 3.
Full disclosure I stopped watching it after like the 4th season..
Anyways I liked how Stranger Things had the part 2 of season 4. That was only 2 episodes clocking in at close to 4 hours and it was only a month apart. I thought that was badass.
Anyways! What's everyone else's thoughts?
submitted by SnooPies5547 to television [link] [comments]
It's not like their short either. Part one is 15 episodes, part 2 is 12. Don't know yet about part 3.
Full disclosure I stopped watching it after like the 4th season..
Anyways I liked how Stranger Things had the part 2 of season 4. That was only 2 episodes clocking in at close to 4 hours and it was only a month apart. I thought that was badass.
Anyways! What's everyone else's thoughts?
2023.03.26 12:00 AutoModerator Weekly Reminder: Rules and FAQ - March 26, 2023 (Now with updates!)
Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.
submitted by AutoModerator to stepparents [link] [comments]
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.
Community Rules
1. Kindness Matters
Advise, don't criticize.- Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
- Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
- No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
- Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
- This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.
2. No Drama
This is a support sub.- Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
- Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
- Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
- Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.
3. Report, Don’t Rant
No backseat modding.- If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
- No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
- If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
4. No Naming & Shaming
No userpings or links.- Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
- If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.
5. No Platitudes
Nobody knew what they were getting into.- Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
- Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
- Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.
6. No Trolling
We have zero tolerance for trolls.- This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
- Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
- Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.
7. No Personally Identifiable Information
Use discretion when posting.- We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
- Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
- Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
- Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.
8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours
Use the daily threads.- We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.
9. Follow Reddiquette
Remember the human.- Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
- Read it in full here.
- Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
- If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
- Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.
10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval
Just don't.- This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
- Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
- No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
- No advertising without prior mod approval.
- No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
- For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.
11. Disputes in Modmail Only
Don't argue with the mods on the sub.- Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
- This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
- Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.
12. Moderator Actions
We aren't kidding.- Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
- Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
- If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
- New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
- We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
- The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
- We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
- The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.
13. Ban Procedure
These actions are at moderator discretion.- Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
- Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
- You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
- Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
- Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
- We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.
FAQ - About the Rules
What does Kindness Matters mean?
- Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
- The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
- Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.
What about being kind to the kids?
- "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
- If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
- Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.
Why is this sub such an echo chamber?
- Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
- If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
- If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.
Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?
- Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
- Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
- Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.
But OP asked if they were an asshole?!
- Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
- If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.
What is a gendered slur?
- While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
- We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
- Examples that are not allowed:
- "My SD is such a little bitch."
- "She dresses/acts like a slut."
- "My SS acts like a pussy."
- "My SS is such a beta male."
- "You are all fucking whores."
- "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
- "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
- "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
- Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
- Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
- As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.
Seriously? You are the language police now?
- We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
- We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.
What does No Drama really mean?
- Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.
What is thread derailment?
- When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
- If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.
But what if they didn't answer my question?
- No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.
Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!
- Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.
Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?
- No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
- Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
- Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
- Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
- Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
- Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
- Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."
Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?
- We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.
What if it's my own post?
- Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.
What is "brigading"?
- Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
- Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
- Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
- Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
- We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.
What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?
- If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.
What if I see an obvious troll?
- Report it.
What if they are being really mean in comments?
- Report it.
What if they are harassing me in private messages?
- Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
- Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
- Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.
What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?
- Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.
I can't link to other subs?
- Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
- Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
- Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
I can't ping other users?
- Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
- If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")
What does No Platitudes mean?
- Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.
Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?
- Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
- This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.
Why can't you just love them like they are your own?
- Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.
What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...
- No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.
What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?
- That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.
What is "Concern Trolling?"
- A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
- Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
- Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."
What is a "Devil's Advocate"?
- "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.
"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?
- The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.
And "sealioning?" What's that?
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2023.03.26 11:46 Lucky-Passage8473 Applying to UK universities from a third-world country. How can I make my application considerable?
I'm posting here for the first time, and I'm not sure if personal case questions are prohibited (sidebar doesn't seem to be ruling it out), but if it is please simply let me know.
I'm from a third world country, and even in that completing my under-graduation from a third tier city. My undergrad degree will be in arts- economics, political science and sociology (no honours degree, no major, it's a different system here, it just means that they focused on these three subjects during the three year course). And in my country, the maximum score that can go in Arts degree is 80%, and mine will be around 61%. After all these, you might get a good laugh that I'm thinking of applying to universities of U.K.
There are reasons for that, the economic condition through which my country is going makes unemployment very disguised. The government has opened so many universities and it's almost a rule that here no one gets fail until and unless he really commits and vows to be so. The outcome is that almost every bloke is admitted to colleges (though he gives only the exams, and comes when the assignments are to be submitted, 75% attendance can easily managed) and passes with an average percentage. As everyone has the same qualifications and almost same score, corporates and other institutes find it very difficult to sort the ones who really studied from the ones who simply came to college. There is no proper way that our type of students can prove that we are different and maybe more compatible for jobs than those others, as we are not prodigies we find ourselves unable to get those 70 seats in government jobs for which 1,000,000 people apply.
I have had done my high school from science subjects, and I was fond of mathematics. That fondness carried me upto the point that by self-study I have covered main topics of BSc. level Mathematics - Linear Algebra, Analysis, Advanced Calculus, Differential Equations et al. It seems quite clear to me unless I take some professional degrees - like a degree in Computer Science, or business administration degree- I won't get any job in MNCs, and therefore, it has occurred to me that I should go for foreign universities, their degrees has a VALUE (as much as I can see).
But with the qualifications that I have presented here, I don't think any UK university will take any interest in my application. What can I do? ("you can act like a man", really?) I'm planning to go for MSc. in Economics. What I thought was I can give them a personal unpublished research that I have concluded, something like Aristotle's view of slavery, or August Comte's Positivism as a new Religion, or maybe Leibniz's philosophy; though these works will not be of very high level and even unrelated to Economics, yet it will be original, a bit peculiar and might give them an impression of me as I want others to hold of me. Next thing is the recommendation letters, the recommendation letters of my college professors won't make any difference, it seems to me. Because they themselves haven't been famous or recognised in academic fields, they are just simply professors at college. But during my short-time on an internet forum I came in contact with a Cambridge PhD. alumni who, through discussions, which was totally voluntary from his part, tutored me whenever I initiated any doubt, and I might get a letter from him, but will the universities consider such letters?
I don't think there is any light deep in the future.
submitted by Lucky-Passage8473 to UniUK [link] [comments]
I'm from a third world country, and even in that completing my under-graduation from a third tier city. My undergrad degree will be in arts- economics, political science and sociology (no honours degree, no major, it's a different system here, it just means that they focused on these three subjects during the three year course). And in my country, the maximum score that can go in Arts degree is 80%, and mine will be around 61%. After all these, you might get a good laugh that I'm thinking of applying to universities of U.K.
There are reasons for that, the economic condition through which my country is going makes unemployment very disguised. The government has opened so many universities and it's almost a rule that here no one gets fail until and unless he really commits and vows to be so. The outcome is that almost every bloke is admitted to colleges (though he gives only the exams, and comes when the assignments are to be submitted, 75% attendance can easily managed) and passes with an average percentage. As everyone has the same qualifications and almost same score, corporates and other institutes find it very difficult to sort the ones who really studied from the ones who simply came to college. There is no proper way that our type of students can prove that we are different and maybe more compatible for jobs than those others, as we are not prodigies we find ourselves unable to get those 70 seats in government jobs for which 1,000,000 people apply.
I have had done my high school from science subjects, and I was fond of mathematics. That fondness carried me upto the point that by self-study I have covered main topics of BSc. level Mathematics - Linear Algebra, Analysis, Advanced Calculus, Differential Equations et al. It seems quite clear to me unless I take some professional degrees - like a degree in Computer Science, or business administration degree- I won't get any job in MNCs, and therefore, it has occurred to me that I should go for foreign universities, their degrees has a VALUE (as much as I can see).
But with the qualifications that I have presented here, I don't think any UK university will take any interest in my application. What can I do? ("you can act like a man", really?) I'm planning to go for MSc. in Economics. What I thought was I can give them a personal unpublished research that I have concluded, something like Aristotle's view of slavery, or August Comte's Positivism as a new Religion, or maybe Leibniz's philosophy; though these works will not be of very high level and even unrelated to Economics, yet it will be original, a bit peculiar and might give them an impression of me as I want others to hold of me. Next thing is the recommendation letters, the recommendation letters of my college professors won't make any difference, it seems to me. Because they themselves haven't been famous or recognised in academic fields, they are just simply professors at college. But during my short-time on an internet forum I came in contact with a Cambridge PhD. alumni who, through discussions, which was totally voluntary from his part, tutored me whenever I initiated any doubt, and I might get a letter from him, but will the universities consider such letters?
I don't think there is any light deep in the future.
2023.03.26 11:42 BlackBirdFliesHigh India rape Capital fallacy 2
Reason: why India is not the rape capital of the world.
1.: Media reporting standards are not the same**
India's media reports things differently from media in other parts of the world. Media reports in various parts of the world have themes. American media focus a lot on race issues. Middle East media focuses a lot on sectarian issues. Indian media focuses a lot on gender issues. It would be faulty to not recognize the themes and blindly use media as a barometer.
Crimes get a disproportionate share of India's media reporting. Top news sources in the US, don't report rapes in the way India does. For instance, 25 women in the US were raped/assaulted in the time I took to write this comment (about 30 mins). You wouldn't likely read about any of these 25 cases in the media.
When a woman was sexually assaulted in an Uber taxi in Delhi, it became a major news and the government quickly reacted. But, such crimes involving Uber is fairly routine in the US.
Sources :
http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/12/16/least-two-women-who-reported-sexual-assaults-boston-sunday-were-using-uber-police-say/cFHpgzcfIoBYiTfWgOqYOK/story.html
http://abc7news.com/325011/
http://www.whosdrivingyou.org/rideshare-incidents.html#SexualAssaults
In the US and Europe, such rape stories would come in local media and just move out of national attention. You probably didn't even come across it. US local governments didn't pursue Uber with the same vigor. Indian media selectively picks up a case and rallies around that. This creates a distorted reality.
The sad truth is that it is not India vs. US. It is that women get raped and it doesn't become a big news. See this as a global problem.
2.Second fact: India's rape rate is not the highest in the world. Not even close
According to the 2010 UN data on rape, the rapes per 100,000 people in India is 0.4 and 27.3 in USA. Going by these statistics, rape rate in USA is a whopping 6825% of India, so much for the "rape culture" in India.
Sources :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/top-5-countries-highest-rates-rape-1434355
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Rapes/Per-capita
If you don't like the statistics, construct better ones. Figure out what factor you want to measure that is not covered in the reports from world bodies. Construct scientifically accepted surveys. Get to the root of the problem with logic. Use your stuff between the ears, instead of passing judgements with hot gas.
Under reporting of Rapes
Now I know the next thing you'll say is that rapes are under reported in India and it's true, but the matter of fact is that rapes are under reported everywhere in the world, including USA. More than 70% of rapes go under reported in USA.
Sources :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/21/rape-study-report-america-us_n_4310765.html
https://cavatus.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/sweden-a-raped-country/
Now for the sake of argument, let's give you the benefit of doubt and assume that only 5% of the rapes in India are reported and 95% cases go unreported. Also assume that 100% of rapes in USA are reported.
By that logic, the real rape rate in India will be 0.4 x 20 = 8. Now let us go further and double that too, we get 8 x 2 = 16, which is still way less than 27.3 (the rape rate in USA).
Therefore, even if you multiply the rape rate of India by 40, it still doesn't matches USA. This proves that India is a much safer country for women compared to USA.
In cultures across the world, rape carries a stigma. Because, most of the rapes happen with people who are close to the woman. Thus, there is a strong social pressure against reporting. This basic fact is lost on the many who are giving their uneducated comments on the issue.
The number of recorded rapes in India is certainly a substantial underestimate, but even if we take five times—or ten times—that figure, the corrected and enlarged estimates of rapes would still be substantially lower in India than in the US, the UK, Sweden, or South Africa (even with the assumption that there is no underreporting in these other countries).
-Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen.
Do you want to discuss rapes or engage in stereotypes?
Here is a simple question for those want to discuss this issue:
Are you interested in creating solutions for making women safe across race, creed, class and country?
Do you want to pick up some news item to justify your own stereotypes about a country?
If you belong to the former group, let us constructively engage in a debate on the solutions. If you belong to the latter group, you are not the solution, but the problem.
In summary, this is plainly a media distortion where one country reports rapes with more vigor than an another country. This leads to blind stereotyping that destroys people's lives & careers for no fault of their own.
Instead of getting into such faulty stereotyping without any statistical evidence, let us as humans figure out ways we can make world safer for women. Because, they are getting raped all over the world at an alarming rate.
You still believe India has a "rape culture" and that USA is a very safe country for women?
Reported Rapes
A. Based on United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) data from 2012:
24,923 reported rapes in India, or 4.26 reported rapes for every 1,00,000 women
This places India at 85 out of 121 countries.
This video discusses the above statistics:
Rapes are over-hyped in India - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdGUPTub-L0&index=90&list=WL
Also see this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdoeoU48DIg
Unreported Rapes
B. Based on a survey conducted by UN Women:
India reported 8.5 rapes for every 100 women over their lifetimes, based on the answers they gave household-level surveyors.
The question "if the women had experienced sexual violence at the hands of an intimate partner or any other person" placed India at 39 out of 99 countries.
Ten per cent of women in India reported having experienced sexual violence by their husbands during their lifetime. In the UN Women database, this places India at 43 out of 86 countries with comparable data.
Source : http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/comment-article-rape-rhetoric-and-reality/article6705077.ece
Rape Conviction Rate
According to the Guardian, just 7% of reported rapes in the U.K. resulted in convictions during 2011-12. In Sweden, the conviction rate is as low as 10%. France had a conviction rate of 25% in 2006.
Poor India, a developing nation with countless challenges, managed an impressive 24.2% conviction rate in 2012. That’s thanks to the efforts of a lot of good people — police, lawyers, victims and their families — working heroically with limited resources.
Source : Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) - http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
Archive link : http://web.archive.org/web/20150317034239/http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
submitted by BlackBirdFliesHigh to DharmikEdits [link] [comments]
1.: Media reporting standards are not the same**
India's media reports things differently from media in other parts of the world. Media reports in various parts of the world have themes. American media focus a lot on race issues. Middle East media focuses a lot on sectarian issues. Indian media focuses a lot on gender issues. It would be faulty to not recognize the themes and blindly use media as a barometer.
Crimes get a disproportionate share of India's media reporting. Top news sources in the US, don't report rapes in the way India does. For instance, 25 women in the US were raped/assaulted in the time I took to write this comment (about 30 mins). You wouldn't likely read about any of these 25 cases in the media.
When a woman was sexually assaulted in an Uber taxi in Delhi, it became a major news and the government quickly reacted. But, such crimes involving Uber is fairly routine in the US.
Sources :
http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/12/16/least-two-women-who-reported-sexual-assaults-boston-sunday-were-using-uber-police-say/cFHpgzcfIoBYiTfWgOqYOK/story.html
http://abc7news.com/325011/
http://www.whosdrivingyou.org/rideshare-incidents.html#SexualAssaults
In the US and Europe, such rape stories would come in local media and just move out of national attention. You probably didn't even come across it. US local governments didn't pursue Uber with the same vigor. Indian media selectively picks up a case and rallies around that. This creates a distorted reality.
The sad truth is that it is not India vs. US. It is that women get raped and it doesn't become a big news. See this as a global problem.
2.Second fact: India's rape rate is not the highest in the world. Not even close
According to the 2010 UN data on rape, the rapes per 100,000 people in India is 0.4 and 27.3 in USA. Going by these statistics, rape rate in USA is a whopping 6825% of India, so much for the "rape culture" in India.
Sources :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/top-5-countries-highest-rates-rape-1434355
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Rapes/Per-capita
If you don't like the statistics, construct better ones. Figure out what factor you want to measure that is not covered in the reports from world bodies. Construct scientifically accepted surveys. Get to the root of the problem with logic. Use your stuff between the ears, instead of passing judgements with hot gas.
Under reporting of Rapes
Now I know the next thing you'll say is that rapes are under reported in India and it's true, but the matter of fact is that rapes are under reported everywhere in the world, including USA. More than 70% of rapes go under reported in USA.
Sources :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/21/rape-study-report-america-us_n_4310765.html
https://cavatus.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/sweden-a-raped-country/
Now for the sake of argument, let's give you the benefit of doubt and assume that only 5% of the rapes in India are reported and 95% cases go unreported. Also assume that 100% of rapes in USA are reported.
By that logic, the real rape rate in India will be 0.4 x 20 = 8. Now let us go further and double that too, we get 8 x 2 = 16, which is still way less than 27.3 (the rape rate in USA).
Therefore, even if you multiply the rape rate of India by 40, it still doesn't matches USA. This proves that India is a much safer country for women compared to USA.
In cultures across the world, rape carries a stigma. Because, most of the rapes happen with people who are close to the woman. Thus, there is a strong social pressure against reporting. This basic fact is lost on the many who are giving their uneducated comments on the issue.
The number of recorded rapes in India is certainly a substantial underestimate, but even if we take five times—or ten times—that figure, the corrected and enlarged estimates of rapes would still be substantially lower in India than in the US, the UK, Sweden, or South Africa (even with the assumption that there is no underreporting in these other countries).
-Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen.
Do you want to discuss rapes or engage in stereotypes?
Here is a simple question for those want to discuss this issue:
Are you interested in creating solutions for making women safe across race, creed, class and country?
Do you want to pick up some news item to justify your own stereotypes about a country?
If you belong to the former group, let us constructively engage in a debate on the solutions. If you belong to the latter group, you are not the solution, but the problem.
In summary, this is plainly a media distortion where one country reports rapes with more vigor than an another country. This leads to blind stereotyping that destroys people's lives & careers for no fault of their own.
Instead of getting into such faulty stereotyping without any statistical evidence, let us as humans figure out ways we can make world safer for women. Because, they are getting raped all over the world at an alarming rate.
You still believe India has a "rape culture" and that USA is a very safe country for women?
Even more data :
Rape Data on IndiaReported Rapes
A. Based on United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) data from 2012:
24,923 reported rapes in India, or 4.26 reported rapes for every 1,00,000 women
This places India at 85 out of 121 countries.
This video discusses the above statistics:
Rapes are over-hyped in India - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdGUPTub-L0&index=90&list=WL
Also see this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdoeoU48DIg
Unreported Rapes
B. Based on a survey conducted by UN Women:
India reported 8.5 rapes for every 100 women over their lifetimes, based on the answers they gave household-level surveyors.
The question "if the women had experienced sexual violence at the hands of an intimate partner or any other person" placed India at 39 out of 99 countries.
Ten per cent of women in India reported having experienced sexual violence by their husbands during their lifetime. In the UN Women database, this places India at 43 out of 86 countries with comparable data.
Source : http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/comment-article-rape-rhetoric-and-reality/article6705077.ece
Rape Conviction Rate
According to the Guardian, just 7% of reported rapes in the U.K. resulted in convictions during 2011-12. In Sweden, the conviction rate is as low as 10%. France had a conviction rate of 25% in 2006.
Poor India, a developing nation with countless challenges, managed an impressive 24.2% conviction rate in 2012. That’s thanks to the efforts of a lot of good people — police, lawyers, victims and their families — working heroically with limited resources.
Source : Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) - http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
Archive link : http://web.archive.org/web/20150317034239/http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
2023.03.26 11:34 Gloomy_Ad_5843 India rape Capital fallacy 2
Reason: why India is not the rape capital of the world.
1.: Media reporting standards are not the same**
India's media reports things differently from media in other parts of the world. Media reports in various parts of the world have themes. American media focus a lot on race issues. Middle East media focuses a lot on sectarian issues. Indian media focuses a lot on gender issues. It would be faulty to not recognize the themes and blindly use media as a barometer.
Crimes get a disproportionate share of India's media reporting. Top news sources in the US, don't report rapes in the way India does. For instance, 25 women in the US were raped/assaulted in the time I took to write this comment (about 30 mins). You wouldn't likely read about any of these 25 cases in the media.
When a woman was sexually assaulted in an Uber taxi in Delhi, it became a major news and the government quickly reacted. But, such crimes involving Uber is fairly routine in the US.
Sources :
http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/12/16/least-two-women-who-reported-sexual-assaults-boston-sunday-were-using-uber-police-say/cFHpgzcfIoBYiTfWgOqYOK/story.html
http://abc7news.com/325011/
http://www.whosdrivingyou.org/rideshare-incidents.html#SexualAssaults
In the US and Europe, such rape stories would come in local media and just move out of national attention. You probably didn't even come across it. US local governments didn't pursue Uber with the same vigor. Indian media selectively picks up a case and rallies around that. This creates a distorted reality.
The sad truth is that it is not India vs. US. It is that women get raped and it doesn't become a big news. See this as a global problem.
2.Second fact: India's rape rate is not the highest in the world. Not even close
According to the 2010 UN data on rape, the rapes per 100,000 people in India is 0.4 and 27.3 in USA. Going by these statistics, rape rate in USA is a whopping 6825% of India, so much for the "rape culture" in India.
Sources :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/top-5-countries-highest-rates-rape-1434355
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Rapes/Per-capita
If you don't like the statistics, construct better ones. Figure out what factor you want to measure that is not covered in the reports from world bodies. Construct scientifically accepted surveys. Get to the root of the problem with logic. Use your stuff between the ears, instead of passing judgements with hot gas.
Under reporting of Rapes
Now I know the next thing you'll say is that rapes are under reported in India and it's true, but the matter of fact is that rapes are under reported everywhere in the world, including USA. More than 70% of rapes go under reported in USA.
Sources :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/21/rape-study-report-america-us_n_4310765.html
https://cavatus.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/sweden-a-raped-country/
Now for the sake of argument, let's give you the benefit of doubt and assume that only 5% of the rapes in India are reported and 95% cases go unreported. Also assume that 100% of rapes in USA are reported.
By that logic, the real rape rate in India will be 0.4 x 20 = 8. Now let us go further and double that too, we get 8 x 2 = 16, which is still way less than 27.3 (the rape rate in USA).
Therefore, even if you multiply the rape rate of India by 40, it still doesn't matches USA. This proves that India is a much safer country for women compared to USA.
In cultures across the world, rape carries a stigma. Because, most of the rapes happen with people who are close to the woman. Thus, there is a strong social pressure against reporting. This basic fact is lost on the many who are giving their uneducated comments on the issue.
The number of recorded rapes in India is certainly a substantial underestimate, but even if we take five times—or ten times—that figure, the corrected and enlarged estimates of rapes would still be substantially lower in India than in the US, the UK, Sweden, or South Africa (even with the assumption that there is no underreporting in these other countries).
-Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen.
Do you want to discuss rapes or engage in stereotypes?
Here is a simple question for those want to discuss this issue:
Are you interested in creating solutions for making women safe across race, creed, class and country?
Do you want to pick up some news item to justify your own stereotypes about a country?
If you belong to the former group, let us constructively engage in a debate on the solutions. If you belong to the latter group, you are not the solution, but the problem.
In summary, this is plainly a media distortion where one country reports rapes with more vigor than an another country. This leads to blind stereotyping that destroys people's lives & careers for no fault of their own.
Instead of getting into such faulty stereotyping without any statistical evidence, let us as humans figure out ways we can make world safer for women. Because, they are getting raped all over the world at an alarming rate.
You still believe India has a "rape culture" and that USA is a very safe country for women?
Reported Rapes
A. Based on United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) data from 2012:
24,923 reported rapes in India, or 4.26 reported rapes for every 1,00,000 women
This places India at 85 out of 121 countries.
This video discusses the above statistics:
Rapes are over-hyped in India - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdGUPTub-L0&index=90&list=WL
Also see this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdoeoU48DIg
Unreported Rapes
B. Based on a survey conducted by UN Women:
India reported 8.5 rapes for every 100 women over their lifetimes, based on the answers they gave household-level surveyors.
The question "if the women had experienced sexual violence at the hands of an intimate partner or any other person" placed India at 39 out of 99 countries.
Ten per cent of women in India reported having experienced sexual violence by their husbands during their lifetime. In the UN Women database, this places India at 43 out of 86 countries with comparable data.
Source : http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/comment-article-rape-rhetoric-and-reality/article6705077.ece
Rape Conviction Rate
According to the Guardian, just 7% of reported rapes in the U.K. resulted in convictions during 2011-12. In Sweden, the conviction rate is as low as 10%. France had a conviction rate of 25% in 2006.
Poor India, a developing nation with countless challenges, managed an impressive 24.2% conviction rate in 2012. That’s thanks to the efforts of a lot of good people — police, lawyers, victims and their families — working heroically with limited resources.
Source : Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) - http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
Archive link : http://web.archive.org/web/20150317034239/http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
submitted by Gloomy_Ad_5843 to IndiaSpeaks [link] [comments]
1.: Media reporting standards are not the same**
India's media reports things differently from media in other parts of the world. Media reports in various parts of the world have themes. American media focus a lot on race issues. Middle East media focuses a lot on sectarian issues. Indian media focuses a lot on gender issues. It would be faulty to not recognize the themes and blindly use media as a barometer.
Crimes get a disproportionate share of India's media reporting. Top news sources in the US, don't report rapes in the way India does. For instance, 25 women in the US were raped/assaulted in the time I took to write this comment (about 30 mins). You wouldn't likely read about any of these 25 cases in the media.
When a woman was sexually assaulted in an Uber taxi in Delhi, it became a major news and the government quickly reacted. But, such crimes involving Uber is fairly routine in the US.
Sources :
http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/12/16/least-two-women-who-reported-sexual-assaults-boston-sunday-were-using-uber-police-say/cFHpgzcfIoBYiTfWgOqYOK/story.html
http://abc7news.com/325011/
http://www.whosdrivingyou.org/rideshare-incidents.html#SexualAssaults
In the US and Europe, such rape stories would come in local media and just move out of national attention. You probably didn't even come across it. US local governments didn't pursue Uber with the same vigor. Indian media selectively picks up a case and rallies around that. This creates a distorted reality.
The sad truth is that it is not India vs. US. It is that women get raped and it doesn't become a big news. See this as a global problem.
2.Second fact: India's rape rate is not the highest in the world. Not even close
According to the 2010 UN data on rape, the rapes per 100,000 people in India is 0.4 and 27.3 in USA. Going by these statistics, rape rate in USA is a whopping 6825% of India, so much for the "rape culture" in India.
Sources :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/top-5-countries-highest-rates-rape-1434355
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Rapes/Per-capita
If you don't like the statistics, construct better ones. Figure out what factor you want to measure that is not covered in the reports from world bodies. Construct scientifically accepted surveys. Get to the root of the problem with logic. Use your stuff between the ears, instead of passing judgements with hot gas.
Under reporting of Rapes
Now I know the next thing you'll say is that rapes are under reported in India and it's true, but the matter of fact is that rapes are under reported everywhere in the world, including USA. More than 70% of rapes go under reported in USA.
Sources :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/21/rape-study-report-america-us_n_4310765.html
https://cavatus.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/sweden-a-raped-country/
Now for the sake of argument, let's give you the benefit of doubt and assume that only 5% of the rapes in India are reported and 95% cases go unreported. Also assume that 100% of rapes in USA are reported.
By that logic, the real rape rate in India will be 0.4 x 20 = 8. Now let us go further and double that too, we get 8 x 2 = 16, which is still way less than 27.3 (the rape rate in USA).
Therefore, even if you multiply the rape rate of India by 40, it still doesn't matches USA. This proves that India is a much safer country for women compared to USA.
In cultures across the world, rape carries a stigma. Because, most of the rapes happen with people who are close to the woman. Thus, there is a strong social pressure against reporting. This basic fact is lost on the many who are giving their uneducated comments on the issue.
The number of recorded rapes in India is certainly a substantial underestimate, but even if we take five times—or ten times—that figure, the corrected and enlarged estimates of rapes would still be substantially lower in India than in the US, the UK, Sweden, or South Africa (even with the assumption that there is no underreporting in these other countries).
-Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen.
Do you want to discuss rapes or engage in stereotypes?
Here is a simple question for those want to discuss this issue:
Are you interested in creating solutions for making women safe across race, creed, class and country?
Do you want to pick up some news item to justify your own stereotypes about a country?
If you belong to the former group, let us constructively engage in a debate on the solutions. If you belong to the latter group, you are not the solution, but the problem.
In summary, this is plainly a media distortion where one country reports rapes with more vigor than an another country. This leads to blind stereotyping that destroys people's lives & careers for no fault of their own.
Instead of getting into such faulty stereotyping without any statistical evidence, let us as humans figure out ways we can make world safer for women. Because, they are getting raped all over the world at an alarming rate.
You still believe India has a "rape culture" and that USA is a very safe country for women?
Even more data :
Rape Data on IndiaReported Rapes
A. Based on United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) data from 2012:
24,923 reported rapes in India, or 4.26 reported rapes for every 1,00,000 women
This places India at 85 out of 121 countries.
This video discusses the above statistics:
Rapes are over-hyped in India - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdGUPTub-L0&index=90&list=WL
Also see this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdoeoU48DIg
Unreported Rapes
B. Based on a survey conducted by UN Women:
India reported 8.5 rapes for every 100 women over their lifetimes, based on the answers they gave household-level surveyors.
The question "if the women had experienced sexual violence at the hands of an intimate partner or any other person" placed India at 39 out of 99 countries.
Ten per cent of women in India reported having experienced sexual violence by their husbands during their lifetime. In the UN Women database, this places India at 43 out of 86 countries with comparable data.
Source : http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/comment-article-rape-rhetoric-and-reality/article6705077.ece
Rape Conviction Rate
According to the Guardian, just 7% of reported rapes in the U.K. resulted in convictions during 2011-12. In Sweden, the conviction rate is as low as 10%. France had a conviction rate of 25% in 2006.
Poor India, a developing nation with countless challenges, managed an impressive 24.2% conviction rate in 2012. That’s thanks to the efforts of a lot of good people — police, lawyers, victims and their families — working heroically with limited resources.
Source : Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) - http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
Archive link : http://web.archive.org/web/20150317034239/http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
2023.03.26 11:28 just_browsing23 I (26f) am struggling to initiate intimacy with my partner (34m). I think it’s because we moved too fast and I’m at a loss of what to do.
My partner (34m) and I (26f) have been together for almost a year and a half. We have been living together for almost 7 months. When we had met I was still living at home with my parents but due to a falling out which led to police involvement I made the decision to move out for my own safety. Because it was abrupt and unplanned I had nowhere to go I was meant to stay at my bfs place for a few weeks to find a place of my own. It only took a week but it wasn’t the best place. It was a share house with 4 other people and one bathroom but it was freedom. Due to the comfort I had at my partners home I spent most of my time there and eventually he just ask me if I would like to move in permanently and help with bills. I figured why not? There is currently a rental crisis and my “rent” would be stabilised. Also he was easy to live with and much more secure as he was not a stranger.
In November I found out I was pregnant and I was absolutely terrified. We had decided it was not the right time and went ahead with an early termination. The recovery was a bit tough more so emotionally (which I was unprepared for) and I expressed my guilt and sadness at the situation carefully reminding him I still felt it was the right choice. I was on strict instructions not to be intimate for the next 6 weeks which I relayed to him. He said he understands and will support me in anyway I need.
Here’s where I think the issues started. While recovering he did things that in retrospect look like red flags. He would hug me and squeeze a little harder than he would need to around my abdomen. He would also try to initiate intimacy or ask me to give him oral. I would on a daily basis wrestle him off me or remind him that I’m an recovering. He would give my the look of a kicked puppy when I did and sulk when my foul mood did not shift. Eventually he stopped asking.
Fast forward to now. I was fully recovered after the six weeks had passed but now we had only been intimate 2 1/2 times in the last 3 months. 1/2 because he fell asleep halfway one time. I have voiced my concerns and asked him to talk to me if something was wrong but he insisted there’s nothing wrong. He is affectionate with me. Lots of kisses, hugs and cuddles. We even play wrestle from time to time. I’ve tried making candle lit dinner dates with activities for us to do at home. Offered massages and wore lingerie. At this stage I’m at a loss and I can’t help but feel it’s because I’ve terminated a pregnancy and he is disgusted by me. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid. Do you have any advice on how I could salvage/kickstart our love life or is it time to cut my losses? Thank you
TL;DR : I think my partner won’t be intimate with me because I terminated a pregnancy.
submitted by just_browsing23 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
In November I found out I was pregnant and I was absolutely terrified. We had decided it was not the right time and went ahead with an early termination. The recovery was a bit tough more so emotionally (which I was unprepared for) and I expressed my guilt and sadness at the situation carefully reminding him I still felt it was the right choice. I was on strict instructions not to be intimate for the next 6 weeks which I relayed to him. He said he understands and will support me in anyway I need.
Here’s where I think the issues started. While recovering he did things that in retrospect look like red flags. He would hug me and squeeze a little harder than he would need to around my abdomen. He would also try to initiate intimacy or ask me to give him oral. I would on a daily basis wrestle him off me or remind him that I’m an recovering. He would give my the look of a kicked puppy when I did and sulk when my foul mood did not shift. Eventually he stopped asking.
Fast forward to now. I was fully recovered after the six weeks had passed but now we had only been intimate 2 1/2 times in the last 3 months. 1/2 because he fell asleep halfway one time. I have voiced my concerns and asked him to talk to me if something was wrong but he insisted there’s nothing wrong. He is affectionate with me. Lots of kisses, hugs and cuddles. We even play wrestle from time to time. I’ve tried making candle lit dinner dates with activities for us to do at home. Offered massages and wore lingerie. At this stage I’m at a loss and I can’t help but feel it’s because I’ve terminated a pregnancy and he is disgusted by me. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid. Do you have any advice on how I could salvage/kickstart our love life or is it time to cut my losses? Thank you
TL;DR : I think my partner won’t be intimate with me because I terminated a pregnancy.
2023.03.26 11:23 merdub 20 years out… how do you heal?
I was sent to Walkabout “therapeutic” wilderness camp in 2002. I was a pretty average teenager with pretty average teenager problems - maybe (definitely) exacerbated by the fact that I was adopted as a newborn, biological mother was 16, into a family with a severely disabled biological child. As the “healthy” child, all of my parents hopes and dreams were placed on me. I spent my childhood struggling (beyond the death of my severely disabled brother when I was 10) with moderate-to-severe undiagnosed ADHD as well as another learning disability. I am “smart” and my parents were always told by my teachers how I was ahead of my peers and had so much potential, so they pushed me even harder. Punished me for not performing in school up to their standards. Report card day was genuinely terrifying.
They also sent me off every summer to a sleep away camp that I hated, I was bullied incessantly and the first summer they sent me there I locked myself in their car when they came up on visiting day, and they physically dragged me out, sobbing and begging to come to home…. I guess they thought I was having fun?
Obviously a combination of these factors (adopted, growing up with a medically fragile sibling and his death, ADHD, unreasonable expectations, a history of not acknowledging my emotions etc.) resulted in some struggles.
I failed a few classes in high school, I now have a college certificate in design, I’m an accomplished photographer, but I failed art class. I’m a huge geography nerd but I failed geography. I was bored and just couldn’t do homework/assignments. Very typical ADHD shit, I couldn’t even make myself do the things I liked.
I was “promiscuous” aka lost my virginity at seventeen?!
I did have a reputation in high school but I was always safe and I never really felt bad about it. I liked the attention… Abandonment issues from adoption? Maybe. A need for some “affection” after growing up with an emotionally distant father and a mother who was a full time caretaker for her disabled son? Maybe.
But I wasn’t doing drugs. I tried smoking weed a few times but I didn’t (and still don’t) like being stoned. I drank as much as your average sheltered high schooler, once every few months at a house party if we knew someone who could buy us some Smirnoff Ice.
Also of note, my parents made me get a job in grade 11. Junior year for y’all. I got hired at McDonalds. I loved it. I worked hard. I made new friends. But my parents didn’t like those friends. They were “bad influences” apparently.
I had also reconnected with someone I knew from ages ago who was the first person that actually treated me like my own human being and not my parents child. He was older but super kind and respectful and never tried anything physical. We were just hanging out and my parents knew his family, he was also adopted and we had a nice connection. They didn’t like that I was hanging with an older guy.
Anyways this all culminated in me being sent to Utah. Formerly known as Walkabout but now Outback.
I spent 4 days in the mountains/forest/desert of Utah alone. No one to talk to, nothing but a pen and notepad. No meals provided. What you had in your sticks and tarp backpack was what you ate.
The Geneva Convention defines, for anyone under 18, cruel and usual TORTURE is anything over 24 hours of solitary confinement.
FOUR DAYS.
And my parents DID THIS TO ME. They paid to have to it done to me. A lot of money.
I gamed the game fairly well but after they said I would be gone 3 weeks and I was coming up on 6 weeks with the constant “your therapist decides when you go home” narrative, I wrote them 3 sentences (there had been talk about boarding school, bet you can guess which) and it essentially said “I’ve tried to play your game for 6 weeks but I’m 9 months away from being 18 and if you don’t bring me home immediately I promise you that I will NEVER, ever have a relationship of any sort with you. I already will never forgive you.”
2 days later I was going home.
Anyways that was 20 years ago and I still have PTSD symptoms, and a complete inability to form meaningful relationships with anyone, especially a partner.
I’ve looked into support groups but the TTI isn’t that common in Canada and I’m terrified of having to revisit the experience in therapy. Especially given my aversion to anything “therapy” and the fact that ignoring the problem has served me just fine(ish) for 20 years.
I’ve tried to explain how fucked up this experience made me to my parents but they still say “you were difficult and we weren’t equipped to handle it - we trusted professionals!” In the meantime my actual psychiatrist at the time told them it was a bad idea and I was not a troubled teen.
How do you move on?
I have a generally good relationship with my parents now but obviously this experience is still affecting me at 37 years old.
submitted by merdub to troubledteens [link] [comments]
They also sent me off every summer to a sleep away camp that I hated, I was bullied incessantly and the first summer they sent me there I locked myself in their car when they came up on visiting day, and they physically dragged me out, sobbing and begging to come to home…. I guess they thought I was having fun?
Obviously a combination of these factors (adopted, growing up with a medically fragile sibling and his death, ADHD, unreasonable expectations, a history of not acknowledging my emotions etc.) resulted in some struggles.
I failed a few classes in high school, I now have a college certificate in design, I’m an accomplished photographer, but I failed art class. I’m a huge geography nerd but I failed geography. I was bored and just couldn’t do homework/assignments. Very typical ADHD shit, I couldn’t even make myself do the things I liked.
I was “promiscuous” aka lost my virginity at seventeen?!
I did have a reputation in high school but I was always safe and I never really felt bad about it. I liked the attention… Abandonment issues from adoption? Maybe. A need for some “affection” after growing up with an emotionally distant father and a mother who was a full time caretaker for her disabled son? Maybe.
But I wasn’t doing drugs. I tried smoking weed a few times but I didn’t (and still don’t) like being stoned. I drank as much as your average sheltered high schooler, once every few months at a house party if we knew someone who could buy us some Smirnoff Ice.
Also of note, my parents made me get a job in grade 11. Junior year for y’all. I got hired at McDonalds. I loved it. I worked hard. I made new friends. But my parents didn’t like those friends. They were “bad influences” apparently.
I had also reconnected with someone I knew from ages ago who was the first person that actually treated me like my own human being and not my parents child. He was older but super kind and respectful and never tried anything physical. We were just hanging out and my parents knew his family, he was also adopted and we had a nice connection. They didn’t like that I was hanging with an older guy.
Anyways this all culminated in me being sent to Utah. Formerly known as Walkabout but now Outback.
I spent 4 days in the mountains/forest/desert of Utah alone. No one to talk to, nothing but a pen and notepad. No meals provided. What you had in your sticks and tarp backpack was what you ate.
The Geneva Convention defines, for anyone under 18, cruel and usual TORTURE is anything over 24 hours of solitary confinement.
FOUR DAYS.
And my parents DID THIS TO ME. They paid to have to it done to me. A lot of money.
I gamed the game fairly well but after they said I would be gone 3 weeks and I was coming up on 6 weeks with the constant “your therapist decides when you go home” narrative, I wrote them 3 sentences (there had been talk about boarding school, bet you can guess which) and it essentially said “I’ve tried to play your game for 6 weeks but I’m 9 months away from being 18 and if you don’t bring me home immediately I promise you that I will NEVER, ever have a relationship of any sort with you. I already will never forgive you.”
2 days later I was going home.
Anyways that was 20 years ago and I still have PTSD symptoms, and a complete inability to form meaningful relationships with anyone, especially a partner.
I’ve looked into support groups but the TTI isn’t that common in Canada and I’m terrified of having to revisit the experience in therapy. Especially given my aversion to anything “therapy” and the fact that ignoring the problem has served me just fine(ish) for 20 years.
I’ve tried to explain how fucked up this experience made me to my parents but they still say “you were difficult and we weren’t equipped to handle it - we trusted professionals!” In the meantime my actual psychiatrist at the time told them it was a bad idea and I was not a troubled teen.
How do you move on?
I have a generally good relationship with my parents now but obviously this experience is still affecting me at 37 years old.