Hi everyone !
Here's my Miirym deck ! I really enjoy playing it and it's holding up against really good cEDH decks that my game group is slowly but surely transitioning into.
https://www.moxfield.com/decks/8dAGq5jEIEiKvc1B9ioe2A
It is built around good / value / funny / atrocious dragons, ways to make them (and my commander) cheaper and a few ways to blink them again and again. Oh, and being able to copy Miirym can be really funny too !
I'm here for your critics, suggestions and/or any change I could bring to the deck.
I really have to rework the mana base. I was planning to buy all the painlands and replacing slower lands with them. Let me know if you think about other good lands !
I was also planning to get rid of Dragonmaster Outcast ... never had the chance to create a token with it.
I've also seen the new Sarkhan Soul Aflame card of MArch of the Machines : the Aftermath. I think it would be a good addition !
Budget or not (I really like this deck, so buying expensive cards isn't a problem...) I'm looking forward to see your suggestions.
Thank you and sorry for my english !
Ben

-----At-A-Glance Updates-----

• Job search IS BACK, and! we ESD is now asking us to report Activity Details, starting this week (8/8) Added 7/9 ESD: Last Minute Change to Job Search Reporting: >>>Click "Yes", Not Requiring Details to be Reported<<<

Added 6/13 Return of the Job Search on July 11, FAQ
Added 6/15 ESD Clarification: 1 Job Search Activity on PUA, 3 for PEUC
Historical Clarification: Job search suspension is tied to the Washington State covid-19 emergency declaration, it has nothing to do with State Reopening Phases or Federal Benefit Extension guidelines. Recent post and reply on the subject.

• Possible Batch Processing Issue delaying some payments ~24-48hrs.

See this poll

-----

This is the Weekly Thread! Please post here.

• New Rule - Low Effort/Duplicate/Searching
• New Rule - Automoderator - Age/Karma Minimums
• State of the Sub 3/26
• State of the Sub 2/4
• State of the Sub 1/19
• The Archive
• The Roadmap to The Archive

------Foreword-----

It is important that users have a Post in which to comment and share their questions and experiences. It is also important to me as a moderator so that I can track the development, propagation or disappearance of issues related to Paid/Processing/Posting; which currently is very very was* difficult because of the volume and number of duplicates, and the lack of information provided by users who do not include their claim type and bank.
I urge you, when posting, to include your bank and your claim type.
I urge you, as much as you can, anticipate delays for weeks with holidays.
Request for separate threads will be entertained, if you can send me a direct message with a good reason that is backed by some sort of evidence.

---------

The most consistently accurate and applicable is in The Archive and The Roadmap

-----Weekly Claim Questions------

NEW 4/12: ESD's site for Weekly Claim Questions - Reporting Earnings
NEW 4/12: ESD's site for Weekly PUA claim Questions
NEW 4/12: ESD's site for Restarting your Claim
ESD's site for Waiting Week/ When Will Payments Start
NEW 4/12: What if I didn't Work this Week?

• Added 2/1/2023 ESD: Reporting Vacation PTO pay Reporting Vacation PTO while employed, see italic section, for Reporting Lump Sum PTO payouts (like during severance), see block text section

2 jobs? Paid Late? Reporting Complex Earnings
Added 7/5 What if I wasn't AA for 2 days or less last week? WBA gets prorated, no Add'l fact-finding
Use a Password Manager, otherwise you might Lock Your Account and have to contact Technical Support
Added 4/22 Traveling and Claiming: "Able and Available"? Cannot Mark Yes to AA
Added 7/7 Website won't work? Call in the Claim, or do it later - it will stay there for 5 weeks
Added 8/22 How to File a PUA Claim By Phone - From ESD Handbook & Our Community
Added 8/22 MFA Code Is Timing Out or Late? Switch to Google Authenticator App
Added 8/29 Severance pay: 3 Laws
Added 10/4/2022 Advice: 2 job offers, How to Accept One and Reject Another, Report on weekly claim

-----Processing/Paid/Posted-----

• After a Weekly claim is submitted, it first says “Processing-Web ^￦ ", then^¥ “Processing”, then “Paid”, and it takes 48 hours on average to post in an account, if the amount is significant, refer to this post. Related Post
• The average time between when the payment shows "Paid" and when it appears in a bank account is dependent on the bank.

Weekly claims that are filed by web are generally all processed sometime between Tuesday evening and Wednesday evening. So if you filed a a claim last Wednesday it will probably not be processed until the following Tuesday.
(￦) If you did your weekly claim via the web. Weekly Claim status is "Processing - IVR"? Normal: You filed by phone IVR means Interactive Voice Response
(¥) This happens when the submission moves from "Submitted" to "Processed", within Online Activity

• Weekly Claim says " Paid - 0"? It's normal temp status
• NEW 4/9: PUA Claims pending after being processed? Upload a Document says "Railroad/Existing Claim"? This is normal
• Are your weekly claims PENDING? Go here to find out Why

------Known Issues------

3. Appearance of "Waiting Week" on some pre-existing claims
_______(1/9) WA House Minority Leader (R) J.T. Wilcox did not approve the Extension of 20.21; the WA Governor's 10th successive proclamation which waived the waiting week, by sending the Governor a letter the day the extension lapsed Contact him directly at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). So on Jan 7, ESD Policy Director Dan Zeitlin filed an Emergency Rule, which appears to have no end date. It is believed that due to no rule prohibiting a waiting week between Dec 28-Jan 7, that some pre-existing claims erroneously began to show this. See this post and comments.
Update (1/23) New FAQ from ESD ON Waiting Week

11. (New 1/19) Changing your address/phone numbebank account will likely stop payments, and require an Identity confirmation that may take 6-8 weeks. (Because of a continuation of an Audit) See above in Best Practices for changing eServices notices/letters from Mailed to Electronic. See this post

5. (NEW AS of 1-11) Disappearance of Weekly Claim Prompt Link. As suggested in this post and reply, it is solvable manually by calling the call center. . (New 1/25: Additional Info: Details of Resolution call) Another example (2/11) Another example 3/2

1. After Potential New Claim Filing on 6/12: Issue recurring

-----Roadmap Sections Expanded Above-----

Weekly Claim Subsection

• Job Search Requirements 10+ entries
• Processing/Paid/Posted Issues 5+ entries
• Weekly Claim Questions 5+ entries
• Earnings Deductions / Working Part Time 5+ entries
• Refusal to Work/ Suitable Work 5+ entries
• Able and Available 2 entries
• Known Issues 19+ entries

------Perspective--------

We are all on government benefits; this is not an employee employer relationship where we always get paid at the exact same time every week; they do not have the same responsibility to pay at a predetermined time and it's unreasonable to hold them to that standard. They will get around to paying us when they get around to paying us, unfortunately. Holding that expectation is a false hope, and being constantly disappointed is not a productive thing. .

Hello everyone,
​
Imagine being trapped in a destructive cycle for eight long years, knowing you need to escape but feeling utterly powerless to do so. That was my reality. I'm a 26-year-old man who, from the tender age of 12, found himself caught in the relentless grip of pornography and masturbation addiction.
​
By 18, I was painfully aware of the damage it was causing and desperate to break free. I tried everything – NoFap, meditation, sports, cold showers, even punishing myself, but to no avail. It felt like my addiction was an unshakeable opponent. But then, something changed. I discovered a strategy that changed my life. If you're struggling, I want to share this with you...
​
Caught in the grip of this addiction, I would spend an average of seven hours per day, even peaking at thirteen hours sometimes. The toll of this habit was heavy, affecting my personal, professional, and social life severely. Yet everything changed when I discovered Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery method.
​
While his book provided me with crucial insights, it was his comprehensive AVRT Demonstration, where Trimpey guided an alcohol addict towards permanent abstinence, that truly filled the missing pieces in my fight against addiction. The Rational Recovery method fundamentally shifted my perspective towards addiction, helping me to recognize and silence the voice of my brain (the Beast) pushing me to consume. Today, I want to share my experience, hoping it could be an effective solution for many of you. You can access the entire demonstration at the end in the 'Useful Resources' section.
​
Understanding Addiction and Navigating this Guide
​
Let's talk about what addiction really is. Addiction isn't about the behavior itself, but rather the desire to escape pain and seek a better life. It is marked by ambivalence, a feeling of being torn between two minds. Overcoming addiction involves breaking free from the grip of pleasure and reclaiming control over oneself.
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Before I delve into how I applied the Rational Recovery method and the results I got, I want to pose a simple but powerful question: If I placed a big red button in front of you that, when pressed, would instantly eradicate your addiction, would you press it?
​
If your answer is 'yes', then you have all the reasons you need to quit. I've been where you are now, writing pages upon pages of reasons to stop, yet relapsing despite knowing how harmful it was. It's important to recognize when a pattern becomes harmful, it's time to stop.
​
As you explore this guide, remember the importance of keeping an open mind. Let's borrow some wisdom from Mark Twain, who once said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” It's a nod to the importance of being receptive to new ideas and methods. This guide may offer a different approach, but embracing it might bring about the change you're seeking.
​

What is AVRT?

​
AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) is a transformative strategy that I've found invaluable in my journey to overcoming addiction. This technique helps you recognize and differentiate yourself from the 'addictive voice', the part of your primitive brain structure that fuels your addiction.
​
Think of AVRT as your personal defense mechanism that works under any circumstance, regardless of your emotional state – be it sadness, anger,boredom, loneliness, or stress. The aim here isn't to suppress these emotions, but rather to stay in control of your actions, no matter what you're feeling.
​
The 'addictive voice' – which we'll call the 'beast' – is a sneaky internal saboteur. It's the part of you that wants to continue with the harmful habit, despite you consciously knowing it's not beneficial. AVRT is about learning to separate this beast from your own true will, thus empowering you to reclaim your life.
​
The power of AVRT lies in this distinction between you and the beast. Once you master this technique, you'll learn to reject the rationalizations and temptations that originate from the beast. The dissociation from the beast is what makes it possible to make a firm, irrevocable commitment to quit your addiction. By not identifying with the beast, you can prevent yourself from suffering commonly associated with resisting addiction.
​
In essence, AVRT isn't about fighting or resisting; it's about recognizing, dissociating, and reclaiming control of your life.
​

What is the "beast"?

​
The "beast" is a term coined by the Rational Recovery method to denote the part of your brain pushing you towards your addiction. We call it the Beast because, like a wild, uncontrollable animal, it cares about nothing but fulfilling its need. It is a cunning inner voice, whispering that you need to engage in porn and masturbation to feel satisfied, relieved, or happy. This voice, often referred to as the Addictive Voice (AV), can be quite deceptive. It might paint you a picture of an enticing scene, produce alluring sounds, offer a moment of relief, or even present a false promise of control—"Just be more careful next time."
​
This beast manipulates you with excuses, deceptive emotions, and outright lies to make you succumb to your addiction. But let's make one thing clear: the beast is not your friend. It's your worst enemy. It's a parasitic entity that has latched onto your life, thriving on your addictive behavior. Like every living thing, it fears its end, and that end comes when you stop feeding the addiction. It has no regard for your well-being, your relationships, your life goals, or your health. Only its survival matters.
​
As you read through this guide, it's crucial to remain aware of the Beast's interference. Remember, the Beast manifests as a voice in your head or as an emotion, pushing you towards addictive thoughts and actions. You might experience feelings of resistance, discomfort, anger, fear, anxiety, or even a cringe reaction. These are the Beast's attempts to disrupt your progress.
​
While the Beast can attempt to manipulate your thoughts and emotions, it does not and cannot control your actions. It's your survival instincts that the Beast taps into, but your ability to make decisions, to govern your actions, thoughts, and emotions is uniquely yours.
​
The Beast may present itself in thoughts like, "This is too difficult to understand," "This won't work for me," or "I'm an exception to this method." Understand that these thoughts are not your own, but the Beast's desperate attempts to maintain control.
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In its relentless quest for satisfaction, the beast views everything, including you, as expendable. It's the embodiment of your addiction, caring for nothing but its next fix. It's deaf to reason, blind to consequences, and immune to remorse.
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If this description resonates with you, don't panic. You're not 'sick.' It's merely an error of association made by your body - an error in the script, so to speak. It mistakenly believes that this addictive behavior is as vital for your survival as breathing or eating.
​
Take these moments of resistance as signs that you are on the right track. You're threatening the Beast's existence, and it's trying to fight back. Recognize these voices for what they are, continue moving forward, and know that each step brings you closer to reaffirming your control and freedom from addiction.
​
[How to Proceed]
​

Recognition Technique

​
Let me share an effective exercise, adapted from the Rational Recovery book, that could help you end your porn and masturbation addiction right now.
​
Start by observing your thoughts and feelings about watching porn or masturbating, both positive and negative. The thoughts and feelings that encourage continued use represent your Addictive Voice (AV), while those advocating for abstinence represent the real you.
​
When you learn to identify and understand your AV, it becomes an easily defeated foe causing you to indulge. All it craves is pleasure. The main tactic of the Beast is to seize control of the pronoun 'I'. It will try to convince you by saying things like "I want to watch porn" or "I need pornography ".
​
However, you can effectively counter this strategy. By simply adding a 't' and shifting the 'I' to 'It', you can remind yourself that these thoughts are not truly yours, but are the Beast's manipulations. So the sentences become, "It wants to watch porn" or "It needs pornography ".
​
By changing "I" to "It", you dissociate from the discomfort or distress. Yes, it's that simple, placing it squarely on the Beast instead of yourself. It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are the Beast's attempts to coerce you back into addiction.
​
Now, tell yourself, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again", and listen for any negative reactions – this is your AV responding. Conversely, if you think, "I will consume porn or masturbate whenever I please," any pleasant feelings that arise are also your AV asserting control.
​
This recognition technique dispels short-term desire, making abstinence effortless. Complete separation of 'you' from 'it' results in complete recovery and hope for a better life.
​
Picture the AVRT technique as a form of gardening. The Addictive Voice is the weed trying to overtake your garden and sapping nutrients from the other plants. Recognizing the weed for what it is and uprooting it preserves your garden's health. Similarly, identifying and acting against your Addictive Voice safeguards a healthy and fulfilling life free from addiction.
​

Shifting Technique

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Shifting is another powerful technique to help you dissociate from the beast of addiction. The idea is to alternate between viewing your addiction from the perspective of the beast and your own.
​
When viewing addiction through the Beast's eyes, you visualize what it craves the most about the addictive behavior and imagine the associated pleasure for a few minutes. It will express sentiments like "I want this now!" or "Please give it to me!", and you may start to feel the beast getting excited, happy, or impatient.
​
Then, shift to your perspective and reflect on the pain and negative impact the addiction has on you and those around you. Allow yourself feelings of disgust. Let your own feelings now take over, and you will find that your Beast withdraws and you feel either neutral or put off. This back-and-forth process allows you to dissociate from the Beast.
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Think of Shifting as toggling between two TV channels: one projects a seductive yet distorted image of addiction, while the other reveals the harsh reality of its damage.
​

Introducing the "Big Plan"

​
The idea of the Big Plan in Rational Recovery is to make a personal commitment to lifelong abstinence from addiction. This commitment, for me, took the form of the decisive statement, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again". It involves pinpointing a day and an hour for your turning point. For me, that was a Sunday at 12am. This moment represents a clear and definitive end to your addictive behavior and the start of a new chapter in your life. You can decide to commit either immediately after going through this post or by specifying your day and hour. It's entirely your choice, and we'll discuss this in more depth later.
​

Your Power Over the Beast

​
The Beast, despite its intimidating name, is in fact harmless. It may try to coerce, manipulate, and instill fear, but it is important to remember that it is powerless without your consent. It cannot force you to return to the addictive behavior; only you can make that decision. In fact, you are the main authority, the one in charge, and it's the Beast that fears you.
​
The Beast is aware of your power and control, and it's terrified of it. It knows that you can shatter its illusions in a snap, without any difficulty. You're the one who makes the call, not the Beast, and it fears your unyielding decision to quit the addiction forever.
​
Its tactics may often involve fear. It's like the Beast is pointing a gun at you, but the truth is, its gun is empty. It's just a bluff, an illusion. You know it, and the Beast knows it too. It's simply trying to maintain its influence by resorting to fear tactics, but you can see through its lies.
​
"Don't trust yourself in tempting situations...you're not strong enough yet." – The Beast's voice:
​
The Beast tries to maintain control by suggesting certain places, events, or people will trigger a relapse. You might hear it whisper, "You can't go to that event, you might relapse," or "Avoid that location, it's too risky." This is simply the Beast's tactic to keep a hold on you, aiming to make you believe you're not completely in control.
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By simply recognizing it for what it is - a tactic of the Beast to undermine your confidence - you can dismiss these fear tactics and reaffirm your control.
​

What if I Lose Control?

​
The Beast within you is a cunning entity, ever ready to exploit your moments of doubt and vulnerability. It whispers falsehoods, instilling fear and shaking your confidence. But don't be swayed, for you have always held the reins. The Beast may inhabit a corner of your mind, but it lacks the power to control your actions.
​
Not convinced? Try this: Extend your finger in front of your eyes and move it, then ask the Beast to do the same. The Beast can't because it doesn't hold sway over your physical actions.
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The truth is, you've never truly "failed" in your endeavor against addiction. You've always had the choice, and sometimes you've elected to surrender to the Beast's desires. But that doesn't equate to losing control. It merely shows you gave in, momentarily, to the Beast's whisperings.
​

Expectations

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Recovery from addiction isn't about becoming a superhero or uncovering the universe's hidden secrets. It's about realizing that we don't have control over every aspect of life. However, we do have control over our actions, our reactions, and how we choose to face life's unpredictable events.
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Do you choose the path of self-discovery and freedom from addiction? Or do you prefer to remain confined by the restrictions that addiction imposes? Be cautious: the Beast may distort your perspective, asking, "Where are the benefits?" or suggesting, "You haven't gained anything," and even instigating impatience by incessantly asking, "How long until I see the benefits?"
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But don't fall prey to these distortions. Escaping addiction isn't about immediate gain or fixing all your life's problems. Recovery isn't a magic solution; it's a step towards personal empowerment. It's about gaining freedom and unlocking your potential, not just as a person in recovery, but as an individual capable of resilience and authenticity.
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Concentrate on the liberation that breaking free from addiction brings. Let's choose this path towards a life where addiction no longer controls us, allowing us to genuinely live and experience life to its fullest.
​

Understanding the Real Reason You're Engaging in This

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Engaging in this addiction is solely for pleasure and nothing more. Every other justification is a fabrication of the Beast. It's designed to make you believe that giving in to your addiction is the only route to happiness or relief when you're feeling depressed, bored, lonely, stressed, or miserable.
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Speaking from personal experience, I used to think that I turned to pornography and masturbation because I was lonely, stressed, or had a rough day. I thought that because I spent my entire day working alone on a computer, my environment or lifestyle was to blame for my addiction. These were excuses, a way to avoid taking responsibility for my actions, guided by the Beast's narrative.
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The key to recognizing the Beast is noticing that the conversation always bends towards indulgence in your addiction.
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Imagine you're having a tough day, and you begin to feel down. Instead of recognizing this as a passing mood, the Beast seizes this opportunity. It will amplify your negative emotions by saying things like, "You're always unhappy, aren't you? You know what would make you feel better... just one quick session won't hurt." Or, "You're so lonely, this is unbearable. Just indulge, it's your only comfort." These harsh whispers are the Beast's attempts to deepen your feeling of depression and nudge you towards the addictive behavior. Depression doesn't create addiction; addiction does.
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The Beast's goal? To make you feel so low that resorting to your addiction seems like the only way out. Conversely, when you're content and joyful, the Beast will persuade you to give in, arguing it will amplify your satisfaction. Just think about it. If you're living what you perceive as a perfect life, the Beast will still argue you could feel even better with pornography and masturbation. It's a never-ending, destructive cycle.
​

Understanding and Separating Desire

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Desire, in its essence, is not a negative emotion; it's a natural human condition. It propels us toward achievement, drives creativity, and gives meaning to our experiences. It also plays a crucial role in our relationships and our sexuality. The key in overcoming addiction is not to extinguish desire altogether, but to discern between healthy desires and those manipulated by the Beast.
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Imagine your desires as a beautiful, roaring river. It's full of life, movement, and potential. This river represents your natural, healthy desires - things like connecting with others, pursuing your hobbies, personal growth, and even your sexual desires. These are your desires, part of who you are.
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Then, there's the Beast's desire - a poisonous stream trying to merge into your river, attempting to hijack your natural flow. This stream carries the pull of addiction, steering you away from your authentic path, manipulating your thoughts, and distorting your perceptions.
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Recognize this poisonous stream and refuse to let it merge with your river. This is not about damming the entire river or stifling your desires, but about rejecting the poisonous stream that the Beast introduces. It's about retaining your authentic desires and letting them guide you.
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Identify that any thought associated with the desire to indulge in the addiction is coming from the Beast. By doing so, you begin to differentiate between what you truly want and what the Beast wants. This understanding will empower you, helping you keep your river clean, vibrant, and true to its course.
​
In the whirlwind of addiction, it can be easy to confuse the Beast's desires with our own. I, too, was lost in this confusion. I believed I was drawn to endless layers of perversion, thinking that I was attracted to the limitless exploration of perversion. But deep down, this wasn't me, it was the Beast's influence, its relentless push for more and more. Upon reflection, I realized my true desire was much simpler and profoundly more meaningful: to love and be loved. To have a wife, to raise children together, to share in the mundane and the magical moments of life. That's my authentic desire, not the empty promises of temporary pleasure the Beast kept pushing. This profound clarity is a stark contrast to the Beast's corruption, a beacon that can guide you back to your true self.
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The goal is not to eliminate desire, but to reclaim it, to keep it authentic and personal. Desire is a part of your humanity; it's the Beast's manipulation of it that leads to addiction.

The Myth of Relapse and the Power of Perfection.

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The Beast might sometimes whisper, "It's okay to relapse. You'll do better next time." This is a shrewd strategy designed to maintain its hold on you by normalizing relapse as a part of the recovery journey. It uses these tactics to sow seeds of doubt in your mind, aiming to eventually lead you to relapse. Rational Recovery, however, views this differently: the key is making a definitive decision—your Big Plan—to abstain from the addictive behavior and sticking to it under any circumstances.
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Human beings are perfectly capable of achieving perfection in certain aspects of life. Consider the professional athlete who plays a perfect game or the musician who delivers a flawless performance. They do so by making a firm commitment to their goal and adhering to it diligently, without allowing any room for mistakes.
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Similarly, your recovery journey can be perfect too. Once you make your Big Plan to abstain from addictive behavior, you can stick to it perfectly, without any relapses. This is the ideal that Rational Recovery promotes—not "try, fail, and try again," but "decide and stick to your decision perfectly."
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Your Beast wants you to believe that perfection is unachievable, as this gives it room to persuade you to relapse. But don't let it fool you. You have the power to make a perfect decision and stick to it.
​

What if it's too Difficult or Painful?

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Instead of pondering over this, consider a different question: 'For whom is it too painful or difficult?' Any discomfort or difficulty associated with ceasing the addiction stems from the Beast, not you. Observing the Beast's distress is a positive sign - it shows you're successfully dissociating from it.
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Remember that humans can only fully experience one feeling at a time. When you start feeling discomfort from abstaining, it's crucial to recognize that this isn't your discomfort. It's the Beast that suffering. The Beast is protesting because it's not getting what it wants. This suffering isn't negative for you; in fact, it's a positive sign. It means you're successfully asserting control over your decisions, as the Beast's discomfort indicates that it's losing its influence over you.
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Most importantly, remember: you are safe. You risk nothing by quitting this addiction. Every feeling of discomfort or fear is from the Beast, not you. Your well-being and safety are never in jeopardy by choosing to stop. By rejecting the Beast's influence and asserting your control, you reclaim your freedom from addiction.
​

How would I know what I will do in the future?

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While predicting your future actions may be impossible, you can certainly define what you would never do. Consider the activities that you find disturbing, unhealthy, and reprehensible - those that you would never engage in.
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Now, add porn and masturbation addiction to that list. As you do this, pay attention to your Beast. It might try to concoct far-fetched scenarios that seem to justify succumbing to the addiction. Recognize these for what they are: desperate attempts by the Beast to manipulate your thoughts. By doing so, you can effectively disregard its interference and remain true to your values.
​

I'm scared to relapse, what should I do?

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Relapse anxiety is a common pitfall many encounter on their NoFap journey. You may be confidently progressing, then suddenly a thought creeps in: "What if I relapse tomorrow?" This thought triggers anxiety, shaking your belief in your commitment.
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From the Rational Recovery standpoint, relapse anxiety is the Beast's deceptive voice trying to manipulate you. It incites fear and uncertainty, making you feel as if relapse is imminent. The Beast attempts to shake your confidence and sense of control. But here's the truth: relapse anxiety is an illusion, a tactic used by the Beast to tighten its grip.
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Combat this by distancing yourself from the Beast and recognizing that relapse anxiety is a deceptive tactic used by the Beast to instill fear and weaken your resolve. Remember, you risk nothing by quitting this addiction; you are safe. Any discomfort you experience stems from the Beast, not you.
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Reiterate your Big Plan: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." By affirming your decision and distancing yourself from the Beast's influence, you can dispel the anxiety and stay firmly on your path. Remember, you are in control, and you will always stay in control, the fears conjured by the Beast hold no sway over you.
​

The Beast's Attack on the Dreamscape

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The Beast's intrusion into your dreams should not be a source of fear. This isn't a situation that requires extensive concern, this is just a sign of the Beast's distress.
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There are generally two types of dreams where the Beast tries to assert its influence. The first type are explicit sex dreams, designed to reignite the desires and cravings associated with your addiction. The second type are dreams where you see yourself relapsing, which can be distressing and seem all too real.
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When your neocortex (the real you) goes to sleep, the Beast sees an opportunity to attack and tries to regain influence over you through these dreams. This is evidence that you are on the right track. Your progress towards your goal of freedom from addiction is causing this panicked response from the Beast.
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Remember, no matter what happens in your dreams, you are in control in reality. These dreams are just dreams, and they do not have the power to make you do anything.
​

Understanding 'Blue Balls' and Nocturnal Emissions in Recovery

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Experiencing discomfort or an aching in the testicles, often referred to as 'blue balls,' is something that some individuals might encounter during their decision to quit their porn and masturbation addiction. Similarly, you may also experience nocturnal emissions or 'wet dreams' during your journey to recovery.
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These phenomena aren't signs of harm, danger, or relapse, but rather physical manifestations of your body adjusting to your firm decision to quit the addiction.
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While your body is adapting to a new, healthier state, not reliant on constant sexual stimulation, the Beast might attempt to distort these occurrences into negative experiences. It might tell you that nocturnal emissions are relapses, causing unwarranted fear and anxiety. But remember, you're in control.
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Consider these sensations and events as physical signs of your transformation, a testament to the changes happening within you. It's important to remember that not everyone experiences this, and even if you do, it's not something to be overly concerned about. These adjustments are something you are more than capable of handling. As your body adjusts to your new lifestyle, such events will likely decrease and eventually stop. Don't let the Beast use these natural bodily responses as a scare tactic.
​

Gradual Reduction: A Beast's Strategy

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In your journey of breaking free from addiction, you might be tempted to adopt a "gradual reduction" approach - cutting back little by little rather than quitting outright. This strategy, while seemingly logical, is often a ploy from the Beast, setting you up for failure.
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During my own journey, for many months, I was enticed by the concept of gradually reducing my addictive behaviors. The approach felt less abrupt, seemingly offering a smoother transition. Even the Beast within me suggested compromises such as, "Let's start by indulging only in the afternoon," or "How about we limit it to weekends?".However, I discovered through experience that this gradual reduction strategy often creates more problems than it resolves. Let me tell you why.
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Firstly, by not making a clean break, you're continually feeding the addiction, keeping the Beast alive and active. It's akin to trying to put out a fire while still pouring small amounts of gasoline on it - it keeps the flames going, never fully extinguishing the fire.
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Secondly, when you set specific times or days for indulging, you're not freeing your mind from the addiction; instead, you're refocusing it. You find yourself constantly counting down the hours or days until your next 'allowed' session. This fixation lead to a persistent preoccupation with the addiction, turning the process into something torturous and counterproductive.
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Lastly, even on the days where you've decided not to indulge, the Beast is still at work. It doesn't take breaks. It try to convince you to deviate from your plan, asserting things like, "You're going to do it in a couple of days anyway, so why not just do it today? Why wait?" This becomes a recurring battle with the Beast, undermining your resolve.
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The gradual reduction method keeps the addiction in focus, maintains the Beast's influence, and undermines your resolve. It's far more effective to make a clean break and assert your decision to quit outright. Remember, you're not losing anything by quitting - you're freeing yourself from the Beast's control.
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Counting Days

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Why should you spend energy on counting days for an activity you've resolved never to engage in? The Beast excels at setting goals and then weaponizing them against us.
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Here's how the Beast use day counting against you:
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Making a big deal of milestones: The Beast lead you to focus excessively on reaching a certain number of days, weeks, or months. While milestones can be motivational, the Beast use them to create unnecessary stress and pressure, saying things like "What if you don't make it?" or "Imagine how bad it would feel to start over."
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Justifying a lapse: "You've made it 100 days, you deserve a reward!" or "One slip after so many days won't hurt." The Beast use the number of days as an excuse to suggest that it would be "safe" or "earned" to indulge in the addictive behavior.
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Creating a false sense of security: The Beast suggest that after a certain number of days without indulging in the addiction, you're "cured" and could safely return to the behavior without becoming addicted again.
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Undermining early progress: In the initial stages, the Beast belittle the small number of days you've been free from the addiction, making statements like "You've only managed two days, you'll never make it a week."
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Leveraging bad days: If you're having a tough day, the Beast say, "You're miserable even after 30 days clean. See, quitting doesn't make things better. Might as well go back."
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Remember, these are all tricks of the Beast trying to manipulate you into returning to the addictive behavior. The Beast will use anything, including the count of days, to try to get what it wants. The best way to deal with this is to remain steadfast in your decision and continue dissociating from the Beast.
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So, instead of getting trapped in the Beast's game of counting days, surrender this act to it. We can concentrate on the broader scope - liberating ourselves from the Beast's clutches, embracing enduring change, and regaining our freedom. Day counting becomes insignificant because it no longer illustrates our path. Our chosen journey is one where the Beast's urges hold no power, and our authentic liberation takes the limelight. Let the Beast obsess over counting days, while we commit to a life of emancipation and self-discovery.
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Why Punishment Doesn't Work

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Self-punishment is a common response to addiction, yet it often proves ineffective. This can take many forms, from physical discomfort to emotional torment. In my own battle against addiction, I tried various self-punishment strategies. On the physical side, I would resort to self-harm. Emotionally, I burdened myself with negative self-talk, depression, feelings of hopelessness, anger, sadness, and even thoughts of death. It's important to note, however, that these intense feelings of guilt and self-condemnation were amplified by the Beast. The Beast utilizes such negative emotions to paint addiction as the only respite, the only 'good thing' left in life. It is a manipulative trick to keep you chained to the addiction.
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Yet, over time, these painful memories have faded, while the seductive pull of the addictive behavior has remained vivid in my mind. It's a compelling illustration of the human condition: we often forget pain and remember pleasure.
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Consider individuals who struggle with drug addiction. They might end up in a hospital after an overdose, experiencing immense physical pain. But as time passes, the memory of this pain dissipates, while the allure of the drug, the pleasure it brought, remains clear and tempting. This imbalance often leads them back into the cycle of addiction.
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This became evident to me during the last week leading up to my final decision to quit - my Big Plan. It was the most challenging week of my life; I was counting the days until my liberation. Now that I'm free, when I think back to that week, the Beast tries to rewrite the narrative, calling it the "best week of all time!"
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This disparity between the memory of pain and pleasure underscores why self-punishment is an ineffective strategy for long-term addiction recovery. Rational Recovery offers a different approach. Rather than relying on the fleeting memory of pain, it focuses on recognizing and dissociating from the addictive voice—the Beast.
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Arguing with the beast

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Let's clarify something: arguing with the Beast is futile. The Beast is single-minded, craving only the satisfaction of its addiction. Moreover, it's cunning, capable of playing both sides of an argument.
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For instance, the Beast might implant thoughts such as, "You could indulge now, it's not a big deal." Then, to create confusion and feign agreement, it might echo that very idea, saying, "Yes, I could indulge now." It's essential to recognize that both these sentiments are from the Beast. It is a clear demonstration of how it can promote the idea of indulgence while also pretending to be 'you' to create an illusion of consent.
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In the Rational Recovery technique, every thought or feeling associated with the indulgence in the addiction is identified as coming from the Beast, including its attempts to take possession of the pronoun "I".
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You are the decision-maker here, you are in control. Your will is what truly matters, and the Beast must inevitably conform to your decisions.
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Dealing with White-Knuckling and Intense Urges

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Feeling urges, cravings, or hunger sensations is a natural part of the recovery journey. In fact, it's a positive sign, an indication that you are making progress. However, these feelings can turn into white-knuckling when you identify with the Beast's thoughts and feelings. When you start saying things like "I'm so horny" or "I need a relief ASAP," you're identifying with the beast voice. When you find yourself arguing with the Beast or doubting your decision to quit, you're in the grip of white-knuckling.
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In my own journey to recovery, I experienced these urges, cravings, and sensations. But rather than identifying with them and turning them into a struggle, I recognized them as signs of the Beast's distress, not mine. It was the Beast who was desperate and frustrated, not me. This recognition made these moments not just bearable but even satisfying, as they signaled that I was on the right track in my recovery.
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The power of these urges and cravings diminished with my Big Plan, my absolute decision to never indulge in the addictive behavior again. Even if you find yourself in a white-knuckling situation, remember that you can shift your perspective. Recognize that every thought encouraging the addictive behavior is coming from the Beast, and use the Recognition or Shifting techniques to help you dissociate from these thoughts and feelings. After that, reaffirm your Big Plan, stating firmly and clearly, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This firm commitment to your Big Plan will dispel all doubt, releasing you from the grip of white-knuckling.
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The Big Plan: Your Commitment to Freedom

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Taking a firm decision is a critical step in overcoming addiction, and this is what making a Big Plan entails. This plan is a complete commitment, devoid of room for negotiation or compromise. When you formulate a Big Plan, you're making a promise to yourself to never indulge in your addiction again, under any circumstances.
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Choosing a specific day for your Big Plan can help add a sense of occasion and finality to your decision. For instance, I personally chose a Sunday at 12am. Your Beast will likely agree to this arrangement, looking forward to a "last hurrah."
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But as you approach your chosen day to initiate your Big Plan, the Beast may start getting anxious. It may whisper, "I can't let this go!" or "Let's postpone the Big Plan, and enjoy this for now!" This is not your voice. It's the voice of the Beast, trying to make you delay your decision and panicking at the impending loss of its control.
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Your declaration for the Big Plan could be: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This phrase embodies the essence of the Big Plan — a firm, unyielding decision that signifies your commitment to stay addiction-free.
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In your journey to overcome addiction, the video I am about to share will be invaluable. It features Jack Trimpey, the founder of Rational Recovery, directly guiding you through the process of making a Big Plan. Although Trimpey focuses on alcohol and drug addiction in the video, his guidance applies to any addiction, including pornography and masturbation. Carefully absorb his words, understanding their relevance to your personal struggle.
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watch this video, skip to 33:39 for the Big Plan section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2YH8RLd_4&list=PLazOJVze5_z3BdcDSF3uPtN8Vu9VDqVJl&index=3where

Conclusion

I've spent a month compiling my experiences and sharing the tools that aided me on my journey. You are free to ask questions while I'm around, but please note that I'm not a regular Reddit user and won't be able to answer indefinitely. For those interested in Rational Recovery, all the information you need is in the "Useful Resources" section. If you found this post helpful, please consider upvoting or sharing it with friends who might benefit from it. Always remember to dissociate from the Beast and stand firm in your Big Plan. Holding unwavering trust in your decision is the key to defeating the Beast. May you embrace your journey to freedom and experience the liberation you've been longing for. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Useful Resources

Rational Recovery Book : https://www.amazon.fRational-Recovery-Cure-Substance-Addiction/dp/0671528580/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=rational+recovery&sr=8-1
AVRT Demonstration (AVRT Live Vol 1-5) : https://www.youtube.com/@DeborahSpringborn/videos

I went to sleep and investigated the place some more.
Places inside of the guy helped clear them out.
Anyways, if this would supposedly be "Sheogorath". The planes and things in him would've been his territory. The name Legolas pops up, too.
Researching the place showed that they send schizophrenics and others there and have a database for them.
Plus, people bring things that cause madness.
Eventually, people are told that if they agree to things, they'll be given things that make them immune to the madness. But, they don't actually do anything, and it's a way to mess with people's minds so that they think they're thinking properly.
Makes them into little soldiers.
After doing all of that, I heard a voice that said something about giving back their Jabberwockies.
I googled "Jabberwocky". It led me to this passage:
"In an early scene in which she first encounters the chess piece characters White King and White Queen, Alice finds a book written in a seemingly unintelligible language. Realising that she is travelling through an inverted world, she recognises that the verses on the pages are written in mirror-writing. She holds a mirror to one of the poems and reads the reflected verse of "Jabberwocky". She finds the nonsense verse as puzzling as the odd land she has passed into, later revealed as a dreamscape."
Which, the Sheogorath page does mention Jabberwocky or whatever, so it's possible what his "plane" and things were based on.
I also noticed that Jabberwocky appears to refer to Mi-Go. The illustration matches.
Mi-Go are fungus / meat / insect beings.
According to the literature, they take humans' brains and use them as food.
"The Mi-go can transport humans from Earth to Yuggoth (and beyond) and back again by removing the subject's brain and placing it into a "brain cylinder", which can be attached to external devices to allow it to see, hear, and speak."
On a wiki, it's mentioned that they fly through "ether" but it's noted to be an old concept that was disproven.
I decided to think astral-wise. If so, that all may tie in, together.
And I did find things that looked like brain capsules.
The astral group I'm with is sorting through those and doing whatever.
I found one that seems to have matched someone's energy, and my higher self picked up a pencil thing that was there and poked the brain a bit after its case was open. I'm not gonna run tests on that stuff though.
If this were real in some way, I'd say most everyone on Earth has their brain there.
Which. If that's the case, would I tell people or just try and put them back and act like nothing was ever wrong.
I also can't ask people if they felt someone sticking foreign objects into their brain. I have no idea why my higher self even did that.
I felt like I had to jot this all down when I woke up and search up Mi-Go and whatnot right after seeing the Jabberwocky image.

TWBS Previous Next First
-
---Esme’s perspective---
---Saturday, 11th of November, 2682 Terran Calendar---
---Southern England---
Fucking Sussex!
‘Can you send me to the Forth Valley?’
‘Oh, we can try… On an unrelated note, how’s your standard English? No problems in communicating?’
I should’ve just said ‘No, I have great difficulty in communicating in anything but Lallans Scots!’ instead of putting on my poshest English speech register to say ‘Marjorie dearest, would you be a lamb and pass another buttered scone… hold the raspberry jam, it’s far too spicy for me!’ which she told me she’d take as a ‘Yes.’
“This is an English language barracks. If you have been directed here in error, please make yourself known to barracks staff for reassignment.” plays a loud, prerecorded Welsh language announcement, over speakers.
They’re fucking rubbing it in!
“This is an English language barracks. If you have been directed here in error, please make yourself known to barracks staff for reassignment.” it repeats in Scots Gaelic.
“Ceci est une caserne Anglophone. Si vous avez été assigné ici par erreur, veuillez vous faire connaître auprès du personnel de la caserne pour une réaffectation.” it says in what I’m 90% sure is a French version of the same announcement (I can’t be certain, though, as that’s not one of my languages).
Looking at the crowds, queuing to get in, makes me regret asserting that I didn’t need transport here.
‘You shouldn’t be sending someone to War that you don’t trust to navigate themself from Galloway to Sussex!’ were my exact words.
I brushed off the recruitment officer saying that I’d be processed faster if I arrived on Military organised transport.
Well, standing here’s not gonna get me to the front of the queue now, is it!
I walk forward to join the massive throng of people, almost all of which look to be about my age.
It’s astonishing how short you feel, being an average height girl in a crowd of people!
178cm really isn’t all that much when you’ve got a not insignificant number of +2m guys here!
Even guys who are the average 188cm can make a girl feel short when their packed too close…
I see a few Neanderthal hunks… perhaps conscription won’t be all bad(!)
When I make it to the front of the line, the guy just stares expectantly at me like I’m supposed to already know what to do.
“Y’awright?… Err… mah nam’s Esme Reid…?” I say, hesitantly, in perfectly comprehensible speech.
“I’m sorry, would you repeat that?” he answers, looking at me like I just spoke to him in fucking Chinese!
“Greetings, gracious sir! You may kindly refer to me by the name ‘Esme Reid’!” I say, affecting my supercilious Southern English gentlewoman accent.
“Alright, Ms Reid. Please present your draft papers and identification.”
The balls they have to ask me to prove who I am when they’re the ones asking me to go off and fucking die for them!
I think about quipping that I should ask him to show me some proof that this is a legitimate Military installation sanctioned by the government of Sol… but think better of it…
Instead, I pull out my draft papers and my holopad, quickly getting up my identification app.
The man scans the code with his own holo and spends a few seconds glancing from his screen to my face and back.
Seeming satisfied that I’m not attempting to enlist under a false identity (for whatever strange reason a person might want to do that) he glances at my papers, says “Everything seems to be in order.” and waves a hand in front of a machine which whirs for half a second before spitting out a simple chain necklace with two little metal rectangles hanging off of it.
He hands it to me and says “This is your identification tag. Please check that the information on it is correct and, if it is, put it on and never take it off.”
I check the tag.
“You’ve got my name and birthday right…” I say, making a conscious effort to keep my speech register in that that a standard English speaker would consider acceptable “…don’t know about the regiment and serial number.”
“Those will be correct.” he says with a ‘move along’ tone.
I shrug, raise the dogtag over my head and drop it around my neck.
I walk on and he’s serving the girl behind me before I’ve even rounded the counter.
I’m ushered through the barracks, herded by the staff, until I reach a building labelled ‘Billet House 279’.
It doesn’t really look like I expected soldiers’ digs to look.
Definitely prefabbed but sort of has more the look of a uni hall than anything else… though I think it’s probably a bit much to expect that I’ll get a room to myself(!)
I follow the throng of draftees through to a wide open room, on the ground floor, that looks like it’s normally a cafeteria.
The camp attendants (who I’m guessing were in the same boat as us, not too long ago) direct us to stand along the left, right and nearside walls, keeping the back wall and centre of the room clear.
Everyone in place, there follows a few minutes of silence broken only by people whispering to one another.
Then, she enters the room.
Dark skinned and clad in green camo clothing, her scalp is easily visible between her cornrows with nary a hair out of place.
Her expression looks absolutely indifferent with just the slightest hint of a curled lip.
From the broadness and flatness of her facial features as well as her single mauve eye, she is clearly half Tshwane… though, you’d never guess that from her stature!
Female Tshwane average nearly 2m… the men are more like 2.2m!
She’s shorter than me!
She’s also built like a Sapiens, not the willowy thinness typical of Tshwane
I guess genetics interact in funny ways sometimes…
Based on her age, her Tshwane parent would probably have to have been one of the very first to be cloned back!
The other eye seems to have been ripped out at some point because in its place is a bionic and there’s a patch of hypopigmented scar tissue, forming a tear shape, at the right corner.
“Recruits… Welcome to the United Terran Coalition Infantry Trainin’ Camp, Graffham… My name is Warrant Officer Simone Sands… and I’ll be your drill instructor…” says the woman, cooly, speaking in a rough sounding, London accent.
The surname ‘Sands’ probably means her dad was the Tshwane (though not necessarily… she might have been given her mum’s surname… or it might be a coincidental English surname).
“…You all know why you’re here… Most of you’ve prob’ly already lost loved ones to this War… You are here to defend our right to exist… and I can’t think of a more worthy reason to fight than that…”
I’ve decided I like this woman… She may be English but I’ll try not to hold that against her(!)
“The first thing I need to tell all of you is that, by the end of your trainin’, you will NOT like me…” she says, as if reading my mind “…that’s OK. My job ain’t to be liked, my job ain’t to make friends… my job is to make soldiers!”
She casts her biological and bionic eyes around the room, letting her words hang in the air.
“Note… that I said ‘soldiers’… This ain’t Full Metal Jacket. This ain’t the 20th Century. There’ll be no Pvt Piles here!… I ain’t aimin’ to destroy your minds or your individuality. I ain’t goin’ to physic’ly and psychologic’ly abuse you into becomin’ robots or killers… I am makin’ you into soldiers… Regardless… this process will not be easy! In fact, it may well be the hardest thing you ever do!… As the face of this process, you will come to hate and resent me for it!… I hope for it! The more you hate me the more-DO YOU HAVE SOMETHIN’ TO SAY, PRIVATE?!”
Everyone in the room is startled by the authoritative woman breaking herself off to shout angrily at someone on the other side of the room.
“STEP FORWARD AND SPEAK SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU!”
The boy that steps forward is tall, bulky and muscular with a handsome, half Neanderthal face… just my type!
Then he has to go and ruin it by opening his mouth.
“I was just saying… that I find it somewhat difficult to take you seriously as a commanding officer… You just seem a little bit… little.” says the boy in the poshest, smarmiest English drawl I’ve ever heard!
The woman does not shout, she does not scream, she doesn’t snarl or even purse her lips!
She just nods, as if considering his words, then asks “What’s your name, Soldier?”
“Rupert Forest.” responds the boy, proudly.
“And, how tall are you, Pvt Forest?” responds the woman, unimpressed
“195cm.” he answers.
“And, what’s your mass?” she asks.
“110kg.”
“I see, I see… So, by your logic… you’d make a better drill sergeant than me, would you? You’re 25cm taller and 35kg heavier, afterall!”
He smirks “I wouldn’t presume to say so, Ma’am…” in a way that definitely suggests that he thinks he would.
She seems to consider that for some moments before answering “Alright then, fight me for it!”
“I’m sorry…?” responds the poshboy.
“You heard me… Clearly, you got no respect for skill and experience but it seems like you must respect power… so fight me for it! You win, you get to train this lot, I win, you never question my authority again!”
Is this woman mad!?
She may be a soldier but this boy she just challenged is a half Neanderthal giant!
She’s gonna lose!
I do not want to be drilled by some snotty, privileged English brat who got here at the same time as I did and just couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut!
Then again, I don’t really want to be drilled by a woman so delusional that she felt the best way to squash insubordination was to challenge a man she has no hope of beating, either!
The guy is clearly salivating over the power that’s just been slapped on the table in front of him as he answers “I accept your terms, Ms Sands…” with faux magnanimity.
There’s no way they’d let a Private run drills, is there? When he wins, someone just needs to go and complain and they’ll give us another (less stupid) drill sergeant… right?
He strips off his jacket to reveal a pair of thick, muscular arms that (in spite of his repulsive personality) are a thrilling sight.
He has to go and ruin it by flexing and posing, clearly revelling in the room’s worth of gasps he got when he revealed his arms… He obviously likes being the centre of attention.
“Done?” asks Sands, drily.
“If you still want to do this…” he says, smugly “…you could just concede defeat and I’m sure no one would hold it against you!”
Her lip curls as she answers “But… if I did that, no one would learn nothin’, now would they…”
He shrugs before launching himself at her without waiting for her to give the word to begin.
She whirls out of the way and he snatches at her, unsuccessfully, as his momentum carries him past.
“Lesson 1:…” she shouts while snapping into the space behind him and kicking out his knee “…size does not determine victory, strength does not determine victory…” levelling another powerful kick between his shoulderblades to bring him to the ground.
She backs off, allowing him to scramble to his feet and turn to face her, hunched in readiness and scowling.
“…Pvt Forest here looked at me with contempt on account of my small size and, though he didn’t say so, I’d guess that my rough accent, my lack of a graduate epithet and my lack of a penis also played a roll in his judgin’ me as less than!… He thought he could beat me, he probably still DOES, and, ’causa that, he didn’t respect my ability to lead…!”
Forest makes another lunge for the smaller woman, misses and is punished for it by being knocked back to the floor.
I’m agog as I watch this little woman… there’s no other word but toy with the giant man!
“…but victory does not care how big you are, how strong you are, how classy or educated you are or what’s in your pants or panties…!”
She dodges around his arm and pins his chest to the floor with her knee.
“Discipline and trainin’ determine victory!… Things that I have and Pvt Forest LACKS!… Things that ALL of you will acquire, over the next 8 months!!!” she turns her head down to the mountain of man she’s pinning to the floor “Concede, Private!”
The man shakes his head, trying in vain to leverage himself up.
“Alright then… Lesson 2: When faced with a resistant individual, compliance can be effectively enforced by the expedient of lockin’ their joints to induce PAIN!!!”
She grabs his thick arms by the wrists and pulls them backwards in a way they are not meant to bend!
He screams in agony!
“CONCEDE!!!… Don’t make me send you to the Medical Officer! It’d be inconvenient for BOTH of us if your pride makes you miss your first week of trainin’ while your arms heal!!!”
He holds out for two more seconds before screaming “I concede! I CONCEDE!!!”
She releases him and stands back up.
“On your feet, Soldier…” she growls down at him.
He stands back up, his face beet red.
“Are you ever goin’ to question my fitness to instruct again, Private?” she glares up at the humiliated giant.
“No.” he answers, gracelessly.
“No…?” she says as if waiting for something else.
Forest looks as confused as I am about what she’s expecting.
“No, Ma’am!” she snarls.
“No, Ma’am.”
“Good, we’ll work on your attitude, movin’ forward. Now, get back in line!”
The humiliated man picks up his civvy jacket and returns to the place he was called out from.
“Now, I don’t think I need to prattle on anymore about how you’re gonna hate me by the end of our time together, do I?… I think Pvt Forest helped me prove that point quite well, so I’ll move on… You will sleep in this buildin’, six to a room. Your rooms will be gender segregated. If you wish for a place to be… intimate with people of the opposite gender, you may request use of one of the conjugal rooms… I suggest you do the same if you want to be intimate with a same gender partner but that’s between you and your roommates! You will eat in this room at 0700hrs, 1200hrs and 1800hrs. Diet’ry requirements will be accommodated but, bare in mind, this ain’t your mummies’ and daddies’ kitchen! ‘This food is forbidden by my religion/personal ethics’ is a diet’ry requirement. ‘I am allergic to this food’ is a diet’ry requirement! ‘I don’t like how this food tastes’ is not(!)… In the mornin’s, you will be receivin’ lessons in lecture theatres, workshops and the like…”
“Oh great… just what I wanted after leaving school(!) More classrooms(!)” I mutter to myself.
Her head instantly wheels to me with unnerving precision.
“Someone else with somethin’ they’d like to say!?” she says, locking eyes with me, terrifyingly.
“No, Ms Sands!” I answer, instantly.
“Miss?! I’m not your bloody schoolteacher girl!!!”
Everyone laughs. Even Pvt Forest, like he wasn’t just humiliated himself, 2 minutes ago!
“Ma’am… err… Ma’am, no, Ma’am!!!” I say, doing my best to emulate the tone I’ve seen soldiers use in films.
She rolls her eye (it’s difficult to tell if the bionic rolls too) and says “Better… What’s your name, Private?”
“Ma’am, the Private’s name is Esme Reid, Ma’am!!!”
“Do you remember me tellin’ you this ain’t Full Metal Jacket?… You don’t need to scream when you talk to me, you don’t need to refer to yourself in third person and one ‘Ma’am’, when you’re done speakin’, is enough, Reid!”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
She points to her single, mauve eye, then to me and says “I’ll have my eye on you, Reid!”
Somehow, her tone sends a chill up my spine but I do my best not to show it.
She turns away and I release a silent sigh of relief.
“As I was sayin’… In your lectures you will learn the ins and outs of military theory; tactics, strategies, logistics etc. You will learn as much as we can tell you about the nature of the species we are fightin’; their capabilities, tendencies, political organisations and known weaknesses… bear in mind that First Contact weren’t much more than 4 years ago and we’ve been at War for almost all the intervenin’ time, so a lot of what we teach you will be little more than guesswork and hearsay from prisoners we’ve interrogated… The mornin’s’ll also be where you learn the particulars of the equipment you’ll be expected to be proficient with in the field. This includes firearms, plasmaweaponry and durasteel armour, as well as the tech you’ll likely encounter from the opposite side; kinetic pulse weapons, laser weapons, field emitters etc… I strongly suggest that no one allows word to get back to me that they’re not takin’ these classes seriously!… A stupid soldier is a dead soldier!”
She glares around the room, her eyes resting on me four a quarter of a second.
“…In the afternoons and evenin’s, you’ll be doing PT… that’s ‘Physical Trainin’’… soon to be every one of your two least favourite words in the English Language(!) “
I notice a wry smirk twist the mouths of a few of the camp attendants.
“In PT you will be drilled in agility, endurance, close quarters combat and coordinated marching… Five times over the comin’ 8 months, you and your trainin’ partner will be dropped into a remote bit of wilderness, somewhere on Earth, for five day practical survival experience. You will be given a beacon, to summon retrieval, but these are only to be used in cases of actual threat to life or bodily integrity… not because you’re feelin’ miserable!”
She takes a second to pause for breath.
“You get an allowance of 12 days off, over your time here… that’s two a month… These are subject to my approval and I may deny them for any reason, including no reason… so don’t piss me off!… You may not take more than 2 consecutive days leave at a time! Certain classes are mandatory and leave will not be approved on days they occur. If your allowance is spent, no more leave will be approved, barring a real emergency!… Now, for today, you are going to line up to have your maps and room keys downloaded onto your holos when your name is called, then you are going to have your bodies scanned for your armour measurements… at that point everyone with no uterus has the rest of the day free to settle in… If you have a uterus, you’ll need to report to medical to get your cycle paused! This is, I’m afraid, nonoptional… You are not prohibited from engaging in relations with your fellow recruits but you cannot be a soldier while you’re able to get pregnant. Attempts to circumvent this requirement in any way will land you in the Stockade!… After your cycle pause has been given, you’ll also have the rest of the day to settle in… Enjoy it! It’ll be the most downtime you get for a while!… Finally… I believe we have a 17 year old with us here… Pvt Taylor?”
A few people put their hands up, most looking confused.
“Pvt Oskar Taylor! The 17 year old?” she says, exasperated.
All but one of those with their hands up put them down.
The one remaining Pvt Taylor with his hand in the air has pale skin, black hair, brown eyes and a sharp featured face wearing a dour expression.
He stands even taller than Forest… Nearly 2m tall!
Though he’s not quite as heavily built, he’s certainly a good looking piece of boycandy!
“Pvt Taylor…” says Sands, her mouth breaking into a smile for the first time I’ve seen “…couldn’t wait to go off to War, could you(?)”
He mutters something but, while I can hear the power and deepness of his voice, I can’t make out a word he says.
“You’ll have to speak up, Taylor! Nobody’ll be able to hear you if you mumble.” points out Sands.
“I said I had some personal circumstances that made this the most sensible course of action for me, Ma’am.” says the tall, dark haired man, looking over her head rather than down at her and speaking in a grim monotone. He definitely loses boycandy points for the poshness of his accent, unfortunately…
“I see… I won’t pry into that but… you didn’t think of Officer Training? That’s the route that most people take when volunteering ahead of their conscription.”
He shakes his head “I thought of it and decided against it, Ma’am.”
“Oh? Why’s that, Pvt Taylor?”
“I didn’t believe I would make a good officer, Ma’am.” he answers simply.
She laughs “I wish every soldier could be as introspective, Taylor! I like you!… Unfortunately, bein’ a minor does mean that you can’t be put in a room with others… Sooo, that means you get a room to yourself… for the moment. Might sound cushy but before anyone else gets too jealous, bare in mind that privacy is the only advantage! His room will be a sixth the size of yours so its basic’ly a broomcupboard… the disadvantage will be severely reduced opportunity to socialise!… If that doesn’t sound doable, you can leave and come back when you turn 18, Taylor.”
“It’s acceptable, Ma’am.” he says without hesitating.
Yeah… it’s official… I don’t like him…
---later---
I rub the spot on my arm where the serum was thunked into me about 15 minutes ago.
Like with everything else about conscription, I get it… I understand the point…
But seeing the sense doesn’t mean I have to like it!
It’s not like I want to get pregnant (getting a nine month reprieve from service would be a fairly shitty reason for me to bring a child into the world) but it does feel like one last slap in the face to my personal autonomy that I’ve just had a cycle pause fucking mandated upon my body by the government!
As I draw near, door 1512 detects the key downloaded on my holo and unlocks
I open it and am greeted by a blonde girl, smiling broadly and instantly identifiable as brimming with ADHD energy.
“Hey there! My name’s Charlotte, it’s lovely to meet you!” says the girl, wrapping me in a hug without asking if I’m OK with that.
Her accent makes me wonder if everyone I meet here is going to be a posh toff!
She makes three of three of my fellow draftees!
“A pleasure, Charlotte… the name’s Esme…” I say, speaking Scottish accented standard English and gingerly patting her back.
“Oh, you’re Scottish…?” she says pulling herself off me with an expression that suggests meeting a Scottish person is just the most wonderful thing she could have imagined “…My great grandmother was from Edinburgh, where are you from?”
“Stranraer.” I answer.
She frowns “I don’t know it, I’m sorry!”
“I won’t hold it against you… Southwestern tip of Scotland? Where it nearly touches Ireland and the Man Peninsula?… ’Bout two and a half million people?”
“Oh, wooow! I don’t think I’ve ever met someone from a village before!” she says, seeming entirely oblivious to how that might be taken as an insult.
“Yeah… I guess it’s not that big.”
“Well…” she wraps me back in the hug and continues “…we’re the first ones to the room and that has to mean we’re going to be best friends!”
“I’m afraid my best friend’s name is Tamsin… the position is not open.” I say, firmly setting a boundary.
“I meant best bootcamp friends, silly!” she says, as if that should have gone without saying.
“Alright… I guess that positions open… but you’ve not got the job yet(!)” I quip, warming up a little to the ball of posh English energy.
She pulls back and beams at me “Alright then, for my first act as best bootcamp friend candidate, let me show you the view!… That should earn me some points!”
She says, leading me into the room that’s so small it makes me doubt that that goody-two-shoes 17 year old can possibly have one a sixth this size!
She leads me to the window and spends a few moments making sure I’m positioned just right before she draws back the curtain.
The view is quite breathtaking… rolling hills of snow blanketed mammoth steppe, lit by evening sun, with barely any of the sprawling military camp visible.
Though, you can see one of the tallest structures ever built by Humanity… the Sussex Space elevator… several times the Earth’s own diameter, the ‘top’, if you can even call it that, is a fifth of the way from here to Luna! …And… in 8 months, I’m going to be riding it, all the way up, to get on a troop transport.
“Look! See! There’s a herd of aurochs over on that hill! You know this place used to be a national park, before even Unification or the Reset! It’s called the South Downs! My mum told me we had family from here… obviously I never met any of them because they would have left hundreds of years ago!…”
The bubbly girl talks and talks and… just keeps talking… but I don’t particularly mind.
---
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Hi, I've started playing yugioh just two months ago and I've heard quite a few times cards being referred to as "being part of duel terminal lore" but what exactly is duel terminal? Is it a part of the anime or something? I know duel monsters is like the og anime with battle city and all so does it refer to another yugioh anime?

So, I'm biologically female.
I'm a former Walmart employee and on my first shift, a customer asked me a question but she was very confused by my appearance. She kept wondering whether she should call me sir or ma'am and it was funny.
I've had a few other Walmart customers refer to me as sir or use other terms to describe a man. I also went to a grocery store a couple of weeks ago and a man in there had referred to me as sir. I was holding my large purplish-pink Reebok bag, too.
When I had longer hair and looked more visibly female, I've had a few times when I looked in the mirror and completely recognised myself as a guy until I remembered that I am a woman.
Even in December of 2022, when my mother told me not to get pregnant, I was completely confused as to how this would be humanly possible until I remembered I'm female.
In early 2023, I was about to joke about being an old man until I remembered that I'm not a man.
The other day, I was asked for my gender identification and I froze up.

So I played in a tournament recently and the organizers were very new and had no experience running a cEDH tournament. They did 90 minutes + turns even though the standard is now 90 minutes, no turns. It was getting pretty late in the last round of Swiss and people were exhausted. I was put in a pod with 2 of the top players in standings + a guy who would easily get in drawing, but I pretty much could not draw being at 10 points with just good breakers and was forced to make us play it out.
On top of the fact we were all exhausted, the game was an extreme grind, 2 players were completely mana screwed and one punted his early win, I was flooded, and there was a turn 2 Drannith that pretty much made the game grind. On top of that, there was some slow play and side conversations that probably wasted a decent amount of time in the round.
In turn 0, the top seed put a Mnemonic Betrayal on the stack after we fought over some stuff before it or that itself, 3 spells were casted on his part, there was also a Rhystic Study and another player had the opportunity to MBT, but didn’t and said it would not make a difference in the outcome… in the end, the highest seed took the win, I lost out on top 16, and my 2 other opponents also made top 16.
I don’t think it’s spite play, but do you think it’s wrong to just hold your interaction like that? There wasn’t really any priority bullying going on, it was more so just the absolute pressure of 3 judges pressuring people to make game actions, it being 10PM and a lot of people took hours drives to be here, plus the fatigue of 6 rounds plus the fact we couldn’t draw it out. I had a ton of cards from my Rhystic Study and even if the MBT was fired and stopped like 6 of the draws I had many ways to go about it and I was turn 1. They did not know, nor in that moment (because I was thinking about stopping the player before me) did I know I had several ways to possibly attempt a win until I thought back, but I for sure had ideas in the back of my mind if I got a turn, but with a mystic remora I knew it was not guaranteed, plus part of my outs was also gamble and you know how that goes.
I don’t know what to make of this situation and what was possibly poor play or sportsmanship, or if I’m just salty. When I was talking to other people, their logic was you should try and stop the win attempt regardless because it also prevents you from having a chance to win (he had a low chance but it makes the opponent’s win deterministic at that point, and he had a fish). I had to police the table the entire game and I was being looked to for interaction and finally ran out of gas. I definitely made some mistakes of my own, but it didn’t really affect my opponents more so just made my chances of a draw or them finding a win or interaction high. (I had an Ad Naus countered and then decided to wheel, which may not have been the play)

https://www.rachaeldickzen.com/blog/2020/6/25/dontloseyourhead
VERSE 1 Grew up in the French Court, Oui, oui, bonjour
I’ve seen people misinterpret this line online as indicating that Anne Boleyn was French. That is NOT the case. Anne was an English woman, the daughter of Thomas Boleyn, a prominent diplomat who served both Henry VIII and his father Henry VII, and his wife Lady Elizabeth Howard (part of the powerful Howard family), but as was fairly common for the time, Anne was sent away from her family to complete her education in the households of various noble families. Those families just happened to be some of the rulers of the Netherlands and France.
Anne was sent to join the household of Margaret of Austria in 1513 (in the low countries, in modern day Belgium), when Anne was either 12 or 6 (Anne’s exact birth year is unknown and there are NUMEROUS debates about which year is more likely - 1501 or 1507). Margaret of Austria was the daughter of Maximilian I, Holy Roman Emperor, and was serving as the governor of the Habsburg Netherlands at the time. Anne’s father Thomas had been sent as an envoy to Margaret the year before and got along so well with her that he managed to secure Anne’s place at the time. Margaret of Austria was highly educated and cultured and her court had a reputation for having an extremely well-stocked library and art collection. Scholars, poets, and artists were constantly around the court. Here, Anne gained a fluency in French, which led to Mary Tudor choosing her for her household in the French Court in 1514.
About a year after she went to Margaret of Austria’s court, Anne was sent to serve Mary Tudor, Henry VIII’s sister, who was marrying the French King, Louis XII. Anne’s sister Mary probably served Mary Tudor as well, but it’s a little unclear how long either of them served her, as many of her English attendants were dismissed the day after the wedding. Less than three months into the marriage, the French king died. Although Mary Tudor went back to England (and scandalously married Charles Brandon, Duke of Suffolk, without Henry VIII’s knowledge or permission), Anne Boleyn stayed on in France and joined the household of the new Queen, the 15-year-old Claude. Queen Claude also loved scholarly manuscripts and art, so her court was full of such beautiful things and exciting people.
By the time Anne was recalled to England in January 1522, she had spent 7-8 years of her life on mainland Europe and almost that long in the French court. She would have been there from ages 12-20 OR ages 6-14. Either way, although she was English born, it’s more than fair to say that she “grew up in the French court.”
“Oui Oui Bonjour” means “yes yes, hello” in French.
Life was a chore so (she set sail), 1522 came straight to the UK - All the British dudes, lame (Epic fail)
Anne Boleyn was summoned back to England in January 1522 by her father to marry her Irish cousin, James Butler, in order to settle a dispute over a title and some land. This marriage fell through for an unknown reason.
At this time, Anne Boleyn’s sister Mary Boleyn was at Henry VII’s court. Historical records indicate that Mary Boleyn was Henry’s mistress, and rumors abound that one or both of Mary’s children were Henry’s, as opposed to her husband William Carey’s, but there’s no definitive evidence on the subject. Anne joined the court at least by March 1522 as a maid of honor to Queen Catherine of Aragon, and quickly became very well known there. She was described as being very intelligent, stylish, and quick-witted. Apparently she had numerous admirers among the men at court, including the poet Sir Thomas Wyatt. Anne actually entered into a secret betrothal with Henry Percy, son of the Earl of Northumberland, but this was broken off when Percy’s father and Cardinal Thomas Wolsey (who was acting as the king’s chief courtier at this time) both refused to support the match.
“The UK” and “British dudes” - Technically the UK (United Kingdom) wasn’t called that until 1800, when Parliament passed an act uniting Great Britain and Ireland as “The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.” In Anne Boleyn’s time, it was just called England and its inhabitants were only called English, not British (although the Romans called the British Isles Britannia and occasionally referred to the larger island as Great Britain, the name wasn’t widely used to refer to the kingdom on the British Isles until 1707, when the kingdoms of England and Scotland were officially joined into one political union).
Ooh, I wanna dance and sing - Politics, not my thing
Anne was an extremely accomplished dancer, singer, and played numerous musical instruments. However, after Henry put her in a position of power, Anne actually wielded tremendous influence on his policy, particularly as it related to religion. There’s evidence that Anne persuaded Henry to read so called “heretical” pamphlets by Protestant writers about how kings had a responsibility to control the Catholic church and stop its excesses. She also was very influential in granting petitions, receiving diplomats, and was a patron to numerous nobles and artists, including the famed Hans Holbein.
I don’t love this line and some of the others in the musical because of the ditzy way in which Anne is portrayed, which is very different from reality. However, I try to remind myself that she’s just a character, and she isn’t meant to be historically accurate.
Ooo, but then I met the King - And soon my daddy said, you should try and get ahead
It appears that Anne caught Henry VIII’s eye in 1526. Having learned from her sister’s example though, Anne refused to sleep with him or become his mistress. She quickly gained the ability to influence the king.
There isn’t much evidence that her father Thomas Boleyn actually pushed Anne toward her relationship with Henry, but this is a common portrayal of the situation in books, film, and TV shows.
He wanted me, huh, obviously, Messaging me like everyday, Couldn't be better, then he sent me a letter and who am I kidding, I was prêt-à-manger Ooh, sent a reply, Ooh, just saying hi, Ooh, you're a nice guy, I'll think about it maybe, XO baby
Henry VIII wrote Anne many love letters which still exist today. You can read them here. These letters give us most of the information we have about their relationship, including the fact that Anne refused to sleep with him for much of their seven-year courtship.
Unfortunately, we don’t have Anne’s replies to Henry, but evidence indicates that she really did avoid his advances for a long time and
Prêt-à-manger literally means “ready to eat” in French.
Here we go (You sent him kisses), I didn't know I would move in with his missus (What?), Get a life (You're living with his wife?), Like, what was I meant to do?
As I noted previously in the blog post on No Way, Anne Boleyn was already living in the same palace as Henry and Catherine even before Henry noticed her. Anne was Catherine’s maid of honor, and thus, lived at court along with many many other nobles and aristocrats. However, in December 1528, Henry set Anne up with her own “very fine lodging…close to his own,” as reported by a French diplomat of the time, and there are lots of reports that she basically had her own shadow court and was acting as a second queen at that time.
“What was I meant to do?” has a slightly humorous effect in this song, but it reflects the reality that Anne Boleyn really didn’t have many choices here. She was able to resist Henry’s sexual advances, but she couldn’t fend him off altogether because he was the king, and her livelihood and the rest of her family’s livelihoods really depended on his favor. She tried to make the best of the situation by refusing to sleep with him and insisting that he marry her, but she didn’t have much control over it beyond that.
CHORUS Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said - I'm just tryna have some fun
In an interview with the Chicago Shakespeare Theater, co-writer Lucy Moss said that “Sorry, not sorry” was directly inspired by one of Anne Boleyn’s mottoes in life - “Let them grumble; that is how it’s going to be.” Anne very briefly adopted the Latin version of this motto in 1530, “Aisi sera groigne qui groigne.” She even had this motto embroidered on her servants’ livery coats! This demonstrates Anne’s feelings about those protesting her elevation and the king’s attempts to get rid of Catherine of Aragon. She didn’t end up using it very long - the imperial ambassador Eustace Chapuys, who /hated/ Anne, claimed that she changed it once she realized it was actually Margaret of Austria’s motto (Groigne qui groigne et, vive Bourgoigne). However, Anne spent several years at the court of Margaret of Austria as a child, so it seems unlikely that she wouldn’t have realized this. Another possible explanation is that she just realized the motto wasn’t doing anything to calm the tensions.
Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head I didn't mean to hurt anyone - LOL, say oh well - Or go to hell I'm sorry not sorry 'bout what I said - Don't lose your head
“Don’t lose your head” is a common colloquialism meaning “don’t lose your temper.” I tried to figure out where this saying came from and how old it is, but didn’t have much success. Some people do say that it actually originally specifically was referring to executions by beheading, so it works very well in this context.
The lyric obviously refers to Anne’s ultimate demise, but it also refers to Anne Boleyn’s infamous temper. Anne was brilliant, but it’s well documented that when angry, she often said spiteful, threatening things. One courtier said that she spoke to her uncle once in words that "shouldn't be used to a dog." It’s also reported that she said if Henry ever left her as Regent when he was away, she would have Princess Mary killed.
VERSE 2 Three in the bed and the little one said, If you wanna be wed, make up your mind Her or me, chum - Don't wanna be some Girl in a threesome, Are you blind?
Reports from the time indicated that Anne and Henry had a very stormy relationship and had a tendency to have huge arguments and then later would reunite blissfully. One report described their relationship as “storm followed sunshine, sunshine followed storm.” We also know from Henry’s love letters that Anne refused to sleep with him for most of their pre-marital relationship, so there’s definitely a lot of truth to the fact that Anne demanded things from Henry that really no other woman ever had.
“Three in the bed and the little one said” - refers to the nursery rhyme “Ten in the Bed,” which has an unknown origin.
Ooh, don't be bitter, Ooh, 'cause I'm fitter Ooh, why hasn't it hit her? He doesn't want to bang you, Somebody hang you
“Somebody hang you” is both modern day slang for telling someone to kind of fuck off and also refers to an incident in 1531, before Anne was queen. Anne “said to one of the Queen’s ladies that she wished all the Spaniards in the world were in the sea; and on the other replying, that, for the honor of the Queen, she should not say so, she said that she did not care anything for the Queen, and would rather see her hanged than acknowledge her as her mistress.”
Here we go - (Your comment went viral) I didn't really mean it but rumours spiral (Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you) Mate, what was I meant to do?
Anne really was pretty unpopular at the time. The English people really loved Catherine of Aragon; she had been their queen since 1509 and had seen the country through many tough times, including serving as regent while Henry was away at war and publicly begging for the King’s mercy for various subjects on several occasions. Records indicate that crowds shouted out encouragement to Catherine of Aragon whenever they saw her during the king’s “Great Matter.”
In addition, the entire concept that a man could set aside his wife really scared women, as it was an attack on traditional family values and a threat to their own security. At the time, women depended entirely on their husbands. If their husbands could set them aside, they would be ruined and destitute. In November 1531, a mob of women (supposedly 7,000-8,000) actually went after Anne while she was dining at a house on a river; she only narrowly escaped them by crossing the river in a boat. This wasn’t the last riot of women against Anne Boleyn either; another one happened in 1532.
Finally, apart from the common people’s general dislike of her, plenty of nobles hated her as well, as she had a temper and a sharp tongue and was known for being rather arrogant. She also played a large role in influencing Henry VIII and was very active in her support of or opposition to various policies.
VERSE 3 Tried to elope, But the pope said nope, Our only hope was Henry He got a promotion, Caused a commotion, Set in motion the C of E The rules were so outdated, Us two wanted to get x-rated Soon, ex-communicated, Everybody chill, its totes God's will
“Tried to elope but the pope said nope” - Henry started asking Pope Clement VII for a dispensation to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon and marry Anne Boleyn starting around 1527. They likely thought this would be pretty easy, as there was precedent for royals getting annulments and marrying again. However, Catherine of Aragon just happened to be the aunt of the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, who sacked Rome in May 1527 and took the Pope prisoner. However, even after the Pope was released, he avoided issuing any sort of official ruling on Henry VIII’s petition. He did allow for Cardinal Wolsey (of England, and then Henry’s chief courtier) to hold an ecclesiastical court on the matter, but stipulated that another papal legate had to be there as well. This legate, Cardinal Lorenzo Campeggio, had been instructed to delay things as long as possible, as the Pope was hoping that Henry would get sick of Anne and the issue would go away. Although the court case lasted from May 31, 1529 to July, Campeggio adjourned it for a summer recess. The court never met again. Wolsey was later arrested and likely would have been convicted and executed for treason if he hadn’t died from illness beforehand. Henry eventually left Catherine of Aragon completely, riding away one day without saying goodbye and having her moved to another household.
Henry and Anne married secretly in November 1532. She quickly became pregnant. The new Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Cranmer (formerly Anne’s family chaplain) declared Henry’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon null and void in May 1533, and shortly thereafter, declared Henry and Anne’s marriage to be good and valid.
“He got a promotion, Caused a commotion, Set in motion the C of E” In 1533, the English House of Commons (with encouragement from Henry) forbade all appeals to Rome and penalized those who tried to introduce papal bulls into England. This set up the modern Church of England, separate from Rome and the Pope’s influence. After this, Pope Clement VII finally acted, condemning Henry’s marriage to Anne, declaring the marriage to Catherine legal, and ordering Henry to return to Catherine in March 1534. The Pope also announced a provisional sentence of excommunication against Henry VIII and Thomas Cranmer. However,his excommunication wouldn’t be formally enacted until 1538, after Henry and his courtiers dissolved the monasteries in England, dismantled several of the shrines, and executed a ton of Catholic rebels involved in the Pilgrimage of Grace.
In late 1534, Parliament declared Henry the supreme head of the Church of England.
“The rules were so outdated” probably refers to Henry not being able to annul his marriage to his first wife.
At this break, a section of Felix Mendelssohn’s Wedding March from A Midsummer Night’s Dream plays. This song was written in 1842 and is one of the most frequently used wedding marches.
Henry's out every night on the town, Just sleeping around, like what the hell
Keep in mind, before Henry got with Anne, he slept with her sister Mary enough that LOTS of people believed that Mary’s children were his. That’s gotta make you paranoid. And he already had an acknowledged illegitimate child with another noblewoman, Bessie Blount.
Henry started taking mistresses during Anne’s first pregnancy (couples at the time generally abstained from sex during pregnancy to avoid hurting the child). was almost certainly sleeping with Anne’s first cousin Margaret Shelton, who served as one of her maids of honor, for around six months in 1535. Finally, starting in February 1536, reports came out that Henry was super interested in another of Anne’s maids-of-honor, Jane Seymour. We all know how that turned out. Henry reportedly gave Jane a locket with a miniature portrait of himself inside; Anne ripped it off her neck when she saw it. Henry was betrothed to Jane a day after Anne’s execution in May 1536 and married her less than two weeks after the execution.
If that's how it's gonna be, Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three, Just to make him jell
/sigh/ This is a vast oversimplification of the entire situation at hand, but yes, Anne was known for being flirtatious and charming throughout her time at the English Court in the tradition of courtly love. However, she was specifically accused of adultery with one of her musicians Mark Smeaton, courtiers Sir Henry Norris, Sir Francis Weston, and Sir William Brereton, and her own brother George Boleyn. Most historians believe that these charges and the evidence to support them were made up by Thomas Cromwell, a powerful courtier, in order to bring down Anne. Anne had argued with Cromwell over the redistribution of church revenues from the dissolution of the monasteries (Anne wanted the revenues distributed to charitable and educational institutions, Cromwell wanted to give it to the king and take his own cut as well) and foreign policy (they disagreed over whether to ally with France or the Holy Roman Empire).
Henry finds out and he goes mental, He screams and shouts, Like so judgmental, You dam-ned witch Mate, just shut up, I wouldn't be such a b- If you could get it up Here we go (Is that what you said?), And now he's going 'round like off with her head (No)
There’s a report of one argument between Henry and Anne after the investigation against her began, but most evidence seems to indicate that Henry just left a tournament one day and never spoke to Anne again. She was arrested soon after, taken to the Tower of London, and tried and convicted of adultery, incest, and high treason. However, Henry and Anne had definitely had some serious arguments before Anne was brought down. There are numerous reports of them fighting and shouting at each other.
“you damned witch” - It’s pretty common to hear that Anne Boleyn was a witch or engaged in witchcraft in some way now, but this wasn’t a real charge at the time. However, in later years, various people spread the rumor. One Catholic writer Nicholas Sander described Anne Boleyn as having six fingers on her right hand and having a projecting tooth (but he said this in 1585, so like - how would he know?). He also alleged that she miscarried a monstrously deformed child. None of Anne’s contemporaries actually mention her having an extra finger, projecting tooth, or deformed child- and considering how much they hated her, wouldn’t they have mentioned it at the time if she did?
“wouldn’t be such a b- if you could get it up” - As I noted before in the post on Wives, there’s no historical evidence about Henry’s abilities in bed to support this line. However, this may refer to one of the grounds for the annulment of his marriage to Anna of Cleves later in his life, as Henry claimed he could not consummate the marriage with Anna. It also just seems to further demonstrate Anne’s known habit of saying things in anger that she regretted later.

OK, I know buying things is not a great way to get dopamine. But sometimes I find something that just works in my life and I'm like I need to tell everyone how amazing this is and how this makes being a vaguely functional person a scintilla easier! But then I realize no one in my real life cares how I make it so I don't forget my shoes when I go to work in the morning (this really happened). So here are some of mine. I'd love to hear other peoples' best loved products that warm their little ADHD hearts.

• Ikea Jonaxel 4-tier sliding drawer organizer - this lives by the door in my garage. Each family member has a drawer and we chuck our shoes in each time we come in the house. That way the shoes never leave the garage and find fewer places to get lost. Because the drawers slide in, it doesn't look cluttered even thouhg there is no organizing required. We have another one in the kitchen for stuff to take to work/school. Lunchboxes, water bottles, etc. all in once ready to go. This gives me a visual reminder of what we don't have but, again, tucks away when I don't need to see it.
  
• A 60 cent folder that lives in my purse/work bag - I get a random piece of paper at some point in the day, goes in there. No more crumpled papers in various places!
  
• A cordless vacuum - this was expensive but so worth it! Somehow having to plug in the vacuum was my kryptonite. Now it's so fun to just grab the vacuum and run it for like 30 seconds.
  
• A wristlet keychan wallet - I didn't want to post an Amazon link but searching should give you an idea. It's got a simple wallet that holds like 5 cards, a ring for keys, and a bracelet made of silicone beads on stretchy string. Car and house key go on the keychain. Most import cards go in wallet. Air tag or similar on back of wallet. Everything I need to go out of the house is in one place and findable. And when I inevitably don't bring a purse I can wear it on my wrist.
  
• Phillips One toothbrush - its small and pink and inexpensive. Runs on batteries so no charging required It buzzes every 30 seconds and then stops at 2 minutes. I can't explain it but I used to hate brushing my teeth but now it feels like an actual win every morning.
  
• Elta MD tinted Sunscreen -its is SPF 40 and a very light foundation in one. It doesn't feel heavy or have a smell. It feels like I tried with makeup but is impossible to screw up. Love it.
  
• iPad with GoodNotes: I write everything in here. Work calendar, home note, questions to ask my kids' doctor, etc. No more hoarding 100,00 notebooks!
  

Please share your fave products. I' d love to learn more!

So I ordered a monitor from X company, and the next day I received a travelling suitcase instead. I called their support and they told me to ship it back to them. I've done so on the 19th of May, and to this day X company hasn't received the suitcase, I asked on 1 occasion if they can send me my monitor, as I have sent out the parcel, but they keep claiming it is against company policy... Is there anything I can do to get them to ship me the product I bought, because now I am both without the monitor or the suitcase, and my wallet is 350 shallower. Am I within legal rights to request a chargeback on my card (Dutch bank)? Should I go to their store and speak to one of the managers there to get this issue resolved? I've been going on and off with both the Post (waited a whole hour on hold for customer service and no one picked up) and X company but the resolution doesn't seem to get any closer. What would you recommend I do?
Additional info: the package was received 19th of May and sent back the same day from a pickup point with a track and trace sticker the company emailed me after calling customer support. The package had 2 addresses assigned and I mentioned the other address (which I assume is the intended recipient to the customer support.
They told me they would ship the package out when they receive the shipment I sent back (next-day delivery so I thought it to be reasonable).
Customer support initiated a lost package claim with postNL a few days after telling me they will send out my monitor when they hear back from PostNL and they declare the package as lost (usually within 5 business days).
I received a 30 euro discount in their store after calling again after 6 business days.
I call back again on Thursday and the customer service recommends shipping the package back to me and me delivering the package to their store personally.
The employee from customer service apparently did that, but I still see that the shipment is ongoing on track and trace.
​
EDIT: I do not have any pictures of the package, but I have proof that I've sent it out and that it is now with the post. I paid with iDeal with my Dutch debit card.

Introduction

I started learning Japanese on March 22 2023. At the time of writing, It has been about 70-80 days since. Currently I would place myself at N3 level. I became very inspired to study Japanese after (a) visiting Niseko (Hokkaido) and (b) reading a post on Reddit about someone who claims to pass N1 from zero in 8.5 months.
The purpose of this post is to offer (a) alternative perspectives to learning Japanese, (b) prove that it is possible to learn quickly, (c) challenge some of the existing recommendations. This post is part one out of eight articles detailing my journey to N1 from zero in 8 months. Disclaimer, this post will be very long and ranty!
This post will cover some of the study techniques and experiments I’ve conducted for the first month, as well as the results of my experimentation and insights. As for the elephant in the room, I’m currently studying N3 after 60+ days into my Japanese learning journey. I’m sure many are skeptical or might presume that I have bad mastery of N5 and N4 content, but by the end of the post, I’m confident that I would have responded to them.

Prior Knowledge

I started watching anime since Naruto. I think that was 15 years ago. I’m not particularly obsessed with Japanese culture but I do follow the mainstream anime like Bleach, Tokyo Ghoul, My Hero Academia, Attack on Titan, and most recently Demon Slayer. So I do possess 15 years of acclimatising to the sound of Japanese anime speech. However my Vocab is very limited. I know how to count from 1-99, konnichiwa and itadakemasu, and a couple more words that I might remember if I was prompted. I also know the hand signs from Naruto. Apart from that, I consider myself truly zero in Japanese knowledge.

While your brain can only hold 7-9 items in the short term memory at once, it does not mean you cannot study more than 9 items in a day.

I see most people on Reddit recommending 15-20 new cards on Anki. Personally I think this pace is way too slow, especially for the beginner. Most typical N5 vocab deck would have about 600-700 cards. 15cards/day means that it would take 40-50 days just to see all the cards. I also came across a study that says our short term brain cannot store more than 9 items at a time. This would seem to support support the recommendation of 15-20 vocabulary cards a day. While reading Moonwalking with Einstein, a book on the capabilities of the human memory, I read about a story of a guy who could draw the landscape of New York with shocking precision after flying pass the city on a helicopter once. The book also hinted at the idea that we possess some form of photographic memory.
And so, i tried to do about 50-100 new cards a day. Within 10 days, I’ve seen all the N5 Vocab. Around day 15 or so, i became concerned that cramming so many words in a day would mean that the retention rate will be low. So I tested myself on those 700 words and I think I got about 85% correct.
Personally i was very happy with that score. I thought I could do a lot worse. So clearly, trying to learn 100 new cards a day wasn’t detrimental to retention rate (I will address my thoughts on burnout on a later point). What is happening?
My hypothesis is that while we can’t store more 6-9 items in our short term memory, it doesn’t mean that when we study our 10th,11th, 20th or 100th item, our brain would completely reject the input. You are still imprinting something onto the brain. What this means is that while you should not expect to see a word once and remember it forever, it says nothing about the upper limit of how many words you can simultaneously start on the first stage of the SRS system. We all know that SRS takes time to turn short term memory into long term memory. It could take weeks or a few months. But if we can start 100 words on the SRS system vs 15-20 words, and there is no significant cost to doing more words, then starting 100 new cards a day will bring us to our destination much faster.

Self-fulfilling prophecy

When you read about many people agreeing that 15-20 new Anki card a day is a good pace, or that it takes 300-500 hours to pass N5, then it sets the expectation of what is normal. The reason I was able to Master N5 in approximately 150-200 hours and learn all its vocab a couple of weeks is because I did not pay attention to what other people can achieve.

How I use Anki

From my survey on Reddit, it seems that people get overwhelm by the amount of reviews on Anki. And I think this reveals that the are doing reviews differently from how I do it.
When I do my Anki reviews, I only entertain two state of minds when marking the flash cards. The first is I know the answer (the answer pops into my brain instantaneously) and the second is I don’t know the answer (mind is blank). I do not try to recall the answer. Recalling takes time. If I try to recall the answer, it might take me upwards of a minute or two to remember it (and even then, I might still be wrong). Instead i like my Anki reviews to be snappy. It feels like I take about a fraction of a second to answer my Anki cards, although the Anki statistics tells me that I take 4second per card. Still fast either way. At 4s/card I can do 900 reviews in one hour.
Next is how I use Easy, Good, Again and Hard. The rule of thumb is to be more liberal than strict. I try to use Easy, instead of Good as much as I can because I don’t want my reviews to pile up. I almost never use Hard even if I get the card completely wrong. Speaking of reviews pilling up, we need to define what marking an Anki item as Good or Easy means to me.
For a lot of people it means aiming for perfection. That means that the person only click Easy or Good if his answer exactly matches the back side of the card. For myself I set an extremely low bar, as long the vague feeling of what I think the answer is somewhat matches the answer on the back side, I’m happy to give it a Good at least. Why? Because it’s the nature of Anki or SRS system to return cards you previously click Easy and Good. I don’t have to worry about being too forgiving on myself and being ignorant about the fact because I can always count on the card to return eventually. And if I a card I previously marked as Good, came back, and feels difficult, I would then make a mental note to study it in greater detail. Secondly, a lot of the 700 words in a typical N5 vocab deck are so common that you will encounter them all the time in the wild. This is called organic or natural SRS. If you are strict on your Anki at this stage, it can be quite an overkill in hindsight. Of course it may not feel like an overkill in the beginning because you are still gettting cards wrong.

Burnt out

Okay what about burnout. Surely I might be overdoing it, and wouldn’t burnout eventually catch up to me. Yes and no. I think the phenomenon of burnout is highly exaggerated. I don’t like to use the word burnt out whenever I’m feeling “burnt out” because it has a lot of negative connotations and because negative connotations can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. Instead, I prefer to use the phrase, “I’m tired now”. I kind of compare myself to Shonen protagonists where there’s this big villain coming up and then some special training to level up. The special training is usually quite intense, and sometimes dangerous, and they will eventually be quite tired by the end of the training. But these protagonists always reemerge stronger with new abilities and can now overcome stronger foes.
Similarly, whenever I study too much, I would just acknowledge that I’m tired, watch some anime and something different. I’m usually okay by the next morning. I attribute my ability to resist burn out my thoughts and attitude.

Consistency, multimodality learning, and resourcefulness

I only believe in one kind of consistency, and that is that you have to show up almost every day. But I don’t believe in the kind of consistency that requires me to be on a 365-day Anki/wanikani/immersion streak. This is also one factor that helps to protect burn out. When I feel like doing textbook learning, that’s what I’m going to do. If want to do pure Bunpro and Anki for the next 3 days without reading any textbook, that’s what I’ll do.
I also believe in the idea of multimodality learning. I use everything at my disposal:
All the textbooks (Genki, Minna no nihongo, Tae Kim)
YouTube videos (Misa ammo, game gengo, tokiniandy)
Podcast
Songs
Doing active immersion with anime
Changing my phone language to Japanese (this one unfortunately is a bad advice. I recommend to stay away from this if you are still at N5)
Posters
Instagram and TikTok accounts of Japanese tutors
Websites (tofugu, human Japanese, Japanese tutors’ blogs)
Apps (wanikani, language reactor, bunpro)
Japanese grammar dictionaries
Assessment books
Discord or Reddit or forums
Japanese classes
There’s often this debate on which is better, Genki vs Minna vs Tae kim. If cost or ability to procure them is not an issue, why not use all of them? It’s okay to have one source as your primary source. Mine was Genki 1. But when I wanted to understand a nuance that Genki does not explain well enough, I’ll usually consult my other sources. And if I’m bored of Genki, I can easily switch to Tae Kim, for a change of scenery. If I don’t feel like reading, Misa or Tokiniandy is there for me.
My observation is that many people are usually only using one modality to acquire a new skill. This is causing their journey to be unnecessarily monotonous.

Sloppy learning and conjugations

One very integral component of the Japanese language is conjugation. It’s especially important for the N5. Conjugations can allow you to express many meaning in Japanese. Learning how to conjugate accurately is going to be a struggle for any beginner(think godan and ichidan verbs and conjugating to masu, te, negative forms, etc).
A lot of Japanese textbook and assessment will make you do drills. I skipped all of them. Rather than trying to brute force your way to memorizing conjugations I employ a technique called sloppy learning(this phrase is borrowed from “Japan Like A Breeze” on patreon). I define sloppy learning as learning just enough to acquire the essence of the concept.
For example, ,whether the verbs is in its polite form, short form, negative form or past tense form etc, can be easily recognised by looking at the last few syllabus of a word. If a words end on a “ta”, it must be past tense form. If it ends on a “masu” it must be the polite/long form. This concept can literally be understood in 5 mins.
Thus for me. When conjugating oyogu (泳ぐ）into past tense form, I just conjugate it as oyogu-ta (oyogu +ta) Or sometimes oyota. Now oyota is wrong of course. But that’s all I need at this stage. I desire to understand Japanese, not to get full marks on conjugation drill table. You must always try to look at the big picture. Trying to do well on conjugation drills is an opportunity cost. Ultimately one needs to judge what is worth spending effort on. Hence the idea of sloppy learning is to be deliberate about what to focus on.
Once I can consistently remember that masu means polite and ta meant past, this is where I try to conjugate them correctly. Conjugations is difficult because they all don’t behave like ru verbs. You cannot simply drop the ru at the end of a word and append ta or masu to them. Oyogu for example doesn’t even have a ru ending.
The path I chose was to hope that I can organically (I like this word a lot, but it also sometimes means magically) , know how to conjugate correctly one day. And to a certain extent I acquired some intuition on conjugations without any active involvement from my part. I soon became aware that if a word ends in a gu or a ku, then instead of a ta, it might be ita or ida.
The break through came on day 35. When I couldn’t endure the fact that I wasn’t able to magically acquire conjugation intuition for free. So i goggled “why are godan verbs conjugate the way they are”. And Tofugu came to the rescue.
Essentially they introduced three concepts (a) double consanent with small tsu, (b) assimilation with n, and (c)consonant removal. After that article, conjugating became a breeze. In hindsight, my ability to conjugate only costed me the time to read one tofugu article (and one month of passively intuiting the conjugation patterns) Because I did not spend time on conjugation drills, i was able to progress to the other grammatical points in Genki 1. I didn’t remain stuck in one place for too long.And this is another aspect of sloppy learning. You learn just enough to move on to the next level, you don’t aim for perfection.
Your brain can’t do everything at once. Your brain cannot remember that masu means polite form, and all the rules for conjugating verbs to masu in one sitting. If you try to do that, you can remain stuck, despite already understanding the general idea of conjugation. Better to move on and let the intuition develop. If you judge that the intuition is not going to progress or progress quickly enough, you can always intervene later by supplementing with new knowledge.

Mnemonics when I get something wrong too often

Often there will be a vocab or grammar point that I always can’t seem to latch on. No vague feelings, no guesses, just an empty mind. When this happens, it can be a scary feeling. It may feel like you are not good enough.
Really the solution is very simple. Just add one more inferential step. When I first encountered the word bengoshi（弁護士） , my mind does not produce any intuition or pictures or feelings. What I did was to create a mnemonic, a story. How to relate a lawyer to the sound ben go shi? I managed to came up with “when the judge announces his judgement, the bench(jury) goes “shhhh””Sorry, I know it’s really bad. But when I created that story, bengoshi never stumped me again.I’ve seen a lot of criticism of mnemonics that I don’t agree with

1. ‘they are not for me”>>I’ve seen people said that Anki is not for me. Srs is not for me. While I believe in individual differences and effectiveness in different methodologies, I feel that sometimes people decide too quickly what is or isn’t for them. What is optimal may first have a learning curve in the beginning. And instead of saying that something is not for me and moving on to the next thing, we need to consider if it isn’t we ourselves that should change to make it fit for us.
2. “If I’m trying to memorize something, how does adding more things to remember help. Now I not only have to remember the word, but I need to remember the story to remember the word.”>> Between a story and a random string of number “89779012879” , the brain can remember the short story more easily than the string of number despite the story consisting of more words. It’s just how our brain works.

​

On active immersion

Active immersion means trying to pick up words or trying to understand what is being said in Japanese media like anime or novels. Passive immersion means enjoying the content without really worrying about improving your Japanese.
On day 21 I tried active immersion with Weathering with You. I came to the conclusion that active immersion is not efficient for the new learner. I can imagine myself doing a lot of sentence mining and active immersion in the future (spoiler, I’m now on day 70-80 and I’m immersing a lot more now). But definitely a hard no for me to recommend new comers as the only and primary form of learning Japanese.

Why textbook learning and structural learning is important for fast gains.

Textbook learning is great for fast gains because it prioritises for you. Textbooks are not prepared by a random person. They are usually prepared while respecting certain pedagogical principles in mind by a team of qualified academics. While appealing to authority doesn’t make it correct, we should at least be cognisant that the textbooks might be doing a few things right.
One of those pedagogical principles is incremental or progressive learning. Building knowledge upon what was previously learnt.
Another principle is foundational concepts. A textbook will usually introduce foundational concepts that act as a scaffold for everything else as early as possible. And because textbook learning is progressive, it means that the difficulty is always going to feel just about right. In active immersion the difficulty can be wild because it does not respect your level of Japanese proficiency.
​

Completing N5 in 30 days.

In this 30 days, I was not only learning Japanese, but also learning how to learn. They call it building a plane while flying it hahahah. The principles outlined here helped me to finish N5 content at an insane rate. I was spending about 6-8 hours a day on Japanese (in chunks). So one point not stated here is time. There's no way around time investment.
On the 30th day I did a lot of mock tests and I performed quite well (80-90% correct).When I started on N4 on day 31, I was really surprised by the bump in difficulty. I gave myself 30 days to clear N4. That was the hardest 30 days in my Japanese learning journey. I’m fact I had a better time when I was studying for N3 on day 65 onwards. In my next post I’ll share why N4 was harder than N5 and N3 for me and share some more insights. Hope this has been helpful in offering new perspectives. Thank you for reading this long rant of mine.
There are also quite a few things missing in this post, namely

1. my studying regime for the first 30 day
2. the kanji problem (this one i struggled to settle on a study method. i was trying a lot of different strategies)
3. the psychological lived experience of studying japanese. the truth is, there is another battlefield happening in the mind realm. i often have self doubt and fear creeping. knowing how to address them is essential to a happy journey.
4. engaging in the larger conversation between Taekim, Curedolly, Refold, All japanese all the time, Moeway, immersion schools of thought, matt vs japan etc etc. I feel that a lot of my fundamental beleifs regarding where i stand can be glimpsed in this post. but i want to make my beliefs explict.

I will try to share more in the next post. If you have any questions on the specifics, I'll be there at the comment section ^^

Local Government (Community Councils) Bill 2023

A measure of Senedd Cymru to make provision for the full implementation of community councils in Wales, and for connected purposes.
Part 1: Repeals
(1) Strike sections 27A, 27C, 27D, and 30 of the Local Government Act 1972.
Part 2: Provision
(1) Insert new Section 27 into the Local Government Act 1972

(27) There shall be a community council for every community, or grouping of communities, in Wales.
(a) In the event of community boundary changes causing dissolution or significant boundary change to a community, the relevant principal authority will decide which new council succeeds the predecessor authority. Any remainder community council will be run by a Community Shadow Authority.
(b) In the event of degrouping of a community from another community, an new acting community council shall be established effective immediately, henceforth referred to as a Community Shadow Authorities.
(c) Community Shadow Authorities shall be appointed by the principal authority until such a time as by-elections can be held for the authority. Renumber accordingly.

Part 3: Short title, Commencement and Extent
(1) This bill extends to Wales.
(2) This bill comes into force immediately upon Royal Assent.
(3) This bill may also be known as the Local Government (Community Councils) Act 2023.
This bill was written by the Rt. Hon. u/Miraiwae FM on behalf of the Welsh Government.
Opening Speech:
Llywydd,
May I begin by saying what a grand pleasure it is to be here in the First Minister’s Office! I’m still getting used to the lay of the land of government, but there’s nothing like a good bill to invigorate me for the government ahead. In any case this bill is relatively simple, yet incredibly decisive in it’s action. By formalising the position that Community Councils hold in Wales, we can ensure that all citizens in this country can have symmetrical government that conforms with the principles of subsidiarity. No village left behind! No suburb left in the dark! As a Cardiffian myself, I know how frustrating living in an unparished area can be, when I am deprived of my democratic rights, and my ability to voice truly local concerns because Cardiff council doesn’t have the time to deal with it, all the while the ward next door have to deal with none of this because they have a community council! This streamlining of governance and powers will help our local government run like the well-oiled machine it should be doing. I hope the Senedd can come together and pass this bill swiftly, this should be a pretty uncontroversial bit of legislation, and I’m happy to answer questions on it. Diolch.
Debate on this motion will end on Wednesday 7th of June 10pm GMT

Hello! I tried applying sa naffl promo ni UB, since may principal cc din naman ako na more than 6months. Kaso pag tinatry ko ilagay yung credit card number ko, laging lumalabas na "please insert correct card number". Natry ko narin yung suggestion nung iba na gumamit ng ibang device, kaso ganun parin yung error😭 BDO classic mastercard yung nilalagay kong reference card. Please help!!

https://www.reddit.com/Marriage/comments/13he4xn/my_wife_wants_to_live_together_separately_fo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
This is a follow up to the post above
I found out that my wife started talking to an ex boyfriend (the one before we met) a few months ago. It could have been longer but she’s sticking to a few months ago narrative. In her mind she said that the marriage was “over” and thought it was okay. But we all know that if it was really okay she wouldn’t have tried to keep it from me. To make matters worse I found out from a 3rd party and not her. It’s bad enough she started checking out of the relationship after only a year of marriage. I never thought she would entertain another guy nor did our family. In the event that she would entertain another guy, I thought it would be someone new and not an ex. I remember arguing with her awhile ago about how she was so overly critical of me. That I felt like she was comparing me to someone. She said if you can’t meet my standards then maybe we should separate. I said maybe we should because I’m not doing all this stuff (washing dishes every day, etc). She has a stay at home government job that basically pays her to exist. I’m a teacher and a coach so while I have no problem cooking or cleaning, there are days that I get home late and it’s no way possible to do that everyday. During the school year, I do more work in one day than she does in 2 weeks. I also said that it seems like you already have someone in mind that you want to be with and that you should be with them. I said that out of anger. I didn’t think that she would actually have someone else lined up while still married. I thought she would be woman enough to say it’s over and not hold me hostage. That if I’m not what you want, to just let me go.
I had already got a separate place but I hadn’t moved my stuff in with hopes of me showing up a better man would inspire her to put forth effort into the marriage. Instead it got extremely toxic and she didn’t want to talk or be around me at all. When I heard the news, I finally removed all my clothes and moved out “officially”. Now all of the sudden she wants to talk to me now when she knows that I know I know about the ex. My mother and her mother reach out to her. They ask her what’s going on and she says that “he thinks I cheated on him”. It’s like she can’t see that if you kept it a secret and I’m not allowed to do it, it’s cheating.
She also had got another apartment which didn’t bother me. What bothered me was that she is going to move in with our niece (who we have temporary custody over from her mom not the courts) and not consult with me about it. The mom is allowing her to live with my wife and still allowing me to spend time with her. We talked about finances and she wants things to be amicable and keep lawyers out of it. So we are sharing some expenses to cut costs for now until a divorce is finalized. She’s thinking about declaring bankruptcy but that would only get rid of some of her debts not all of them. She mentioned the possibility of filing bankruptcy together but I don’t want to ruin my credit for the next 7 years. We are both paying rent on two places for the next 2 months so rushing to get divorced insist financially feasible at the moment.
She thought since I got an apartment that somehow equalized her planning a trip to see an ex. She said “wouldn’t getting an apartment signal that the relationship is over?” I said no. People get separate places and try to work on things. She then says that I didn’t even go see him, you actually went and got an apartment. I told her you did too. If I hadn’t gotten one, I would’ve been stuck scrambling to get an apartment while you had an escape plan. She didn’t elaborate why the trip was canceled either. She told my mother that if she had followed through on the trip that she wasn’t going to sleep with him. A two week out of state trip that she only told me the state that she would be in and not the city. A trip where she told our niece and her sister that she was thinking about cutting her phone off while she was gone. It’s one thing to lie to me. But to lie to mother about planning a secret trip that you weren’t going to bang another guy is despicable. She told me and our niece that she was going to see her female best friend. She’s been complaining to her friends about how tight things are financially. She made it seem like I just got another apartment just because and not because our place had become a toxic environment. I’m thinking that it was your idea to separate not mine. You made an emotional decision without thinking about the financial implications.
Surprisingly she’s been actually talking to me about things now and being a lot nicer than she’s been in months. She now refers to me as “Honey” and not my name. She asks me if I want to stay the night if I’m coming over to see our niece and it starts getting late. She hasn’t been pressuring me about paying our bills on time since according to her she knows I’m trying to get my new place situated and doesn’t want to put me in a financial bind. She has not mentioned anything about reconciliation nor does she seem remorseful about how things turn out. She does try to initiate hugs or touch me discreetly. While I do love her, I don’t trust her at all and I know she’s not telling me everything even now. I think it’ll be a long time before I even entertain the thought of ever getting married again. I’ve forgiven her not to reconcile but so hate doesn’t consume me. I’ve also forgiven myself for being so stupid to allow someone that level of trust to hurt me like this. Any idea why she’s being so kind now?

I am actually expecting a lot backlash for this since the majority of the fandom loves the twist lol

Part I: Characters

I.a Sunny
Sunny is the main characters, we spend a good portion of the game exploring his dreams, and even the real world is explored through his perspective.
Sunny tends to dissociate, even before Maris death, as is evident by the excerpt found in the lost library:

"This year, ☐ was lucky enough to get assigned to a desk next to the small window."
"Every day during class, ☐ would gaze listlessly through the opening... at the shadows of the trees, the clouds creeping overhead."
"His mind drifted elsewhere... into his own worlds, his own stories, his own adventures."
"He had a habit of doing this.It was easy for him to get lost."
"Today was the same as any other. ☐ stared vacantly out the small window as the clouds passed one by one."
"Suddenly, a hand playfully slaps his back, snapping him out of his reverie. ☐ looks away from the opening."
"☐☐☐ smiles. He motions that class is over and that it's finally time for lunch. It's pizza day today, and theyneed to bolt to the cafeteria before it's all gone."
"☐'s stomach growls. He looks at the small window one last time."
"He would have to continue his adventure another day."

The dissociative tendencies are very clear, described as his mind being elsewhere.
However, the excerpt also shows off another key-trait: Imagination.
Sunny has extraordinately vivid imagination, as displayed by the entirety of Head Space, as well as his liking of imagining himself and his friends going on adventures, even in the real world, as well as both before and Maris death.
The situation described by the Lost Library is pretty much identical with the real world event involving fighting the recycultists.
One more important, but less dicussed point, is his excellent memory. Sunny can recall the correct order of Basils photographs without failure, even after 4 years of staying inside.
And speaking of the album, he can also accurately recreate their content in Head Space, shown by the HS version containing pretty much the exact same content as the real one, just with the aesthetics adjusted to Head Space. Furthermore, the scribbled out version found in Black Space are 100% identical with the reeal ones, just blacked out with marker.
Considering this, I'd say good memory is an understatement.
I'd go as far as attributing him with Photographic Memory.
But despite this, Sunny forgot something, 4 years ago he repressed something.
And he is aware of this. Dialogue from various HS characters allude to this, and urge him to try and remember:
Stranger:

STRANGER
The truth that you've locked away... You must find it no matter what.
STRANGER
You have to... for the both of us.

Faceless:

FACELESS
Even if you hide something, it will always be there.

Bullet points for Sunny: Prone to dissociation; extremely vivid imagination; amazing memory; knows he forgot something and believes he can recover it
​
I.b Basil
Basil is a very controversial character, receiving a lot of hate, but also a lot of love.
Basil-haters often attribute him with traits such as 'obsessive' or 'manipulative', even though none of these are accurate on closer inspection.
I'll just list of a few of his traits, which will be highly relevant for the crux of this theory, though just indirectly.
- Basil has abandonment-issues. These are repeatedly displyed by franctic pleas for someone to not leave him.
- Basils view of other characters are mostly based on idealization. It is seen through assgining flowers with highly positive meanings to his friends, while ignoring any negatives they might hold.
Furthermore, this behaviour is very prominent in his complete refusal to accept what Sunny had done.
- Basil is also deeply troubled, with latent suicidal ideation and tendencies. The by and large biggest red flag is encountered on '3 Days left', where he says this to Sunny...

BASIL
It's nice to see that you're still around...even if it's only for a little while.
BASIL
Here. Take my PHOTO ALBUM... I want you to have it.

...Basil acts like he is saying goodbye to Sunny, and hands off his most precious sentimental belonging...
...Despite not even knowing that Sunny is moving away.
​
- Basil is highly emotional. He displays extreme emotional reactions when put under pressure or faced with emotional hurt.
The previously mentioned instance of learning of Sunny moves triggers him to run to the bathroom, where he has a mental breakdown.
Judging by dialogue like...

POLLY
BASIL's been going to the bathroom a lot lately. I hope it's not my food...

...and...

AUBREY
And when we got to his room, I tried to talk to him... but he said he had to go to the bathroom and ran off.

...this seems to be his go-to coping-mechanism to deal with stress, and doesn't even seem to be limited to interactions with Sunny.
Furthermore, at the lake-scene, Basil hysterically screams for help, despite the hooligans actively attempting to calm him down, not at all acting hostile towards him.
- Although rare, there is at least one instance of him acting extremely angry, particularily the scene before his boss-fight, and he seems to have huge trouble to contain his anger, actually having to resort to delusional behaviour to quell it.
- Basil displays severe dissociative and psychotic (hallucinations and delusions) symptoms. The dissociation in particular is shown in what appears to be fuzzy memory:

BASIL
A lot has happened since these pictures were taken.Sometimes, it feels like it was all a bad dream.
BASIL
It's hard to remember now, but... I think... at the time...I took photos of what I was most afraid to lose.

Additionally, certain dialogue alludes to severe psychological issues being present prior to joining the friend-group:
Processing img s4afsed5ef3b1...
From the points listed above, the only one I consider to be debatable is the anger-issue. However, the other 5 traits are genuine canon.
Processing img q8mx1difef3b1...
Great, so now we have established for Basil to canonically suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder.

II Plot

II.a Sunnys case

Does Basil have his own White Space and Black Space?
OMOCAT:
The idea of the White Space is based on the ability of some people to completely isolate themselves when a traumatic happens. They isolate their mind and travel through the White Space to relieve their memories. From my personal experience, not everyone it able to do it. If Basil would have had his own White Space it would've been full of disturbing imagery, and, unlike Sunny's, it wouldn't be static but really dynamic with a lot of fast changes. Therefore I don't think Basil would be able to escape his own mind like Sunny does. And that's why his problems manifest in the real world. After all, something exists because of Basil’s idea that it exists in the first place.

Source: OMOCAT interview from Cydonia streaming translated in english : OMORI (reddit.com)
Pay close attention to the part that I highlighted.
OMOCAT openly states that Something exists for the simple reason that Basils believes it to exist to begin with. But if Somethings existence is based on Basils belief, then this raises the question why Sunny can see it, too.
I believe that this cutscene is the answer:
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Processing gif 5q8azvo6jf3b1...
It seems to me that Sunny only began to be haunted by his Something due to this conversation, in which Basil asks Sunny to remember Something while simultaniously already suggesting what Sunny is supposed to remember.
Essentially, Sunny sees Something because of Basils suggestion of it existing to begin with.
This sets an interesting precedent of Basil unintentionally influencing Sunnys psyche by merely asking a suggestive question.
Another thing to note that this is just a short snippet of this conversation, and that there are more black-and-white cutscenes that display different parts of this particular encounter.
Another one is this:
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Processing gif 83ofu1h8sf3b1...
This is clearly the first creation of White Space, right?
Wrong.
You see, there are certain special characters explaining the lore of Head Space, one of them being Daddy Longlegs.
He actually has dialogue explaining the creation of Head Space:

DADDY LONGLEGS
You have reached the end of the LOST FOREST... but the beginning of the truth.
DADDY LONGLEGS
I will tell you a story that has been lost through time... a story about the creation of this reality.
DADDY LONGLEGS
In the beginning, there only existed two... the DREAMER and his room.
DADDY LONGLEGS
The DREAMER grew weary of his room and created a door that led to many different worlds.
DADDY LONGLEGS
Walking the path as a visitor to these worlds, the DREAMER would come and go as he pleased.
DADDY LONGLEGS
Slips and falls, tumbles and drops... the DREAMER's curiosity and clumsy exploration eventually led him to a certain world.
DADDY LONGLEGS
One not like the others... one painted with chaos and bathed in darkness.
DADDY LONGLEGS
The DREAMER slowly became filled with dread. Quiet as they may have been, words of malice quietly crept into his mind. Whispering lies, secrets, and truths.

The 'DREAMER and his room...' clearly refers to Sunnys White Space.
Meanwhile, the world 'painted with chaos and bathed in darkness' very clearly refers to Black Space.
This means, according to Daddy Longlegs, that White Space existed way before Black Space. Furthermore, he states that only after Sunnys first encounter with Black Space did he 'slowly became filled with dread', which seems to imply that Sunnys most severe issues started at a later point in time than the creation of White Space.
Now, since White Space already existed prior to Black Space, this creates a problem:
As stated by OMOCAT, White Space exists to provide relief of memory - meaning that Sunny had already repressed memories at this point.
However, if we assume the cause of supression to be 'the truth' about Maris death, both Something and Black Space, and the Black Lightbulb should have already been a thing from the very beginning.
However, this is not the case. The black door as well as the lightbulb make their first appearence in this cutscene.
What this implies to me is that, just like Something, Black Space was created due to suggestions Basil made in this conversation, and subsequently the Black Lightbulb was created to supress Black Space.
In fact, Black Space can be further linked to being the product an external source:
Processing img sjtem9akhg3b1...
White Egret Orchids, at least in this game, represemt the phrase: 'My thoughts will follow you into your dreams.'
Furthemore, Black Space in general is strongly linked to Basil, both due to the overwhelming presence of Stranger as well the fact that it is always Basil that will find the path to 'the truth'.
​
This entire dynamic is very interesting.
Appearantly, there was a period of time in which Sunny was completely free of the influence of both Black Space,'the truth' it contains, and Something.
This might sound crazy, but this seems to imply that all three of Black Space, 'the truth' and Something can be traced back to this conversation, but not any further.
This becomes even clearer when you line up the three cut-scenes in the order they appear in the game:
​
Processing video aed5qnn9ov3b1...
​
The implication here is that this conversation is what triggered Sunnys Hikkikomori-lifestyle and caused a sharp shift in Sunnys behaviour.
This may be hard to accept, but what is being implied here is that this is the starting point of Sunnys 4 years of agony.
This is extremely weird, since 'the truth' about Maris death is supposed to be the source of his suffering, yet it started only about a few months after her death.
Why did Sunny only become haunted by 'the truth' after this point?
It can't be explained by repression either since a) the Black Lightbulb is required to repress it and b) the Black Lightbulb is what caused his Hikkikomorism to begin with, yet Sunny is stated to have gone to school up until this point and was actually willing to let others reach out to him.
This is a stark contrast to his behaviour after this conversation.
​
The only answer that makes sense is the following: 'The truth' simply didn't exist up until this point, not even in a repressed form.
This scene depicts the literal creation of 'the truth'.
'The truth' in it's entirety is an idea that Basil put into Sunnys head.

BRANCH CORAL
A hanging black light bulb... the repression of an idea.

It is openly stated that the Black Lightbulb is not the repression of a memory - that is White Spaces purpose - but in fact the repression of an idea.
Additionally, there actually is dialogue hinting at the replacement and subsequent repression of memories:

BLANK Your memories are not free. To gain a memory, another must be shrouded. And yet... All memories will eventually fade.

What I propose is the following: Basil wanted to talk to Sunny about 'the truth'. Now, the problem is that Sunny had already repressed the memories of Maris true death - suicide.
So, when Basil realizes that Sunny doesn't remember... he fills him in, similar to how he recounts the events of Maris death prior to his boss fight.
This is also the reason for the photo at the treehouse: Since Basil believes that Sunny had already 'forgotten' the truth at least once before, he decides to leave him a physical reminder - a photo and the key to the toy-chest.
This is supported by the 'Don't forget... it's in the toy-chest'-message - there is no reason to write a message urging Sunny not to forget about it unless Basil has a reason to believe Sunny might forget about it to begin with.
Now, Sunnys got a huge problem - since he already had repressed his memory at this point he had no way of falsifying Basils account. And since he trusts Basil, he makes the wrong choice and believes him.
Subsequently, this triggers the creation of both Something and Black Space.

Quiet as they may have been, words of malice quietly crept into his mind. Whispering lies, secrets, and truths.

This is referring to Basils words during this conversation.
Even though Sunny tried to repress them, the only thing he achieved is pushing them to his subconscious - where they then rampaged rampaged and grew in strength over the next 4 years.
In essence, this constitutes a case of both False Memories and Shared Delusional Disorder.
​
And it makes sense. You remember the characterization of Sunny at the beginning of this post?
Well, check this out:

Greater creative imagination and dissociation are known to relate to false memory formation. Creative imagination may lead to vivid details of imagined events. High dissociation may be associated with habitual use of lax response criteria for source decisions due to frequent interruption of attention or consciousness. Social desirability and false memory have also been examined. Social desirability effects may depend on the level of perceived social pressure.
Individuals who feel under greater social pressure may be more likely to acquiesce. Perceived pressure from an authority figure may lower individuals' criteria for accepting a false event as true. The new individual difference factors include preexisting beliefs about memory, self-evaluation of one's own memory abilities, trauma symptoms, and attachment styles. Regarding the first of these, metamemory beliefs about the malleability of memory, the nature of trauma memory, and the recoverability of lost memory may influence willingness to accept vague impressions or fragmentary images as recovered memories and thus, might affect the likelihood of accepting false memory. For example, if someone believes that memory once encoded is permanent, and that visualization is an effective way to recover memories, the individual may endorse more liberal criteria for accepting a mental image as true memory. Also, individuals who report themselves as having better everyday memories may feel more compelled to come up with a memory when asked to do so. This may lead to more liberal criteria, making these individuals more susceptible to false memory.
There is some research that shows individual differences in false memory susceptibility are not always large (even on variables that have previously shown differences—such as creative imagination or dissociation), that there appears to be no false memory trait, and that even those who have highly superior memory are susceptible to false memories.

How convenient. This is literally Sunny. Sunny displays all of these traits.
Sunny is morbidly predispositioned to aquire False Memories, especially due to his great trust in Basil, his best friend.
Additionally, 'recovering repressed memories' is notorious for confabulating False Memories:

However, when memories are "recovered" after long periods of amnesia, particularly when extraordinary means were used to secure the recovery of memory, it is now widely (but not universally) accepted that the memories have a high likelihood of being false, i.e. "memories" of incidents that had not actually occurred.

And there actually are fairly strong hints that can be interpreted as Sunnys recovered memories being memories that were imagined at Basils suggestion:
​
Processing img 6whr115l7n3b1...
Processing img 13x2utk98n3b1...
A basic, common yet effective technique to determine memories as either dreams or imagined events is to look for inconsistencies, either with reality or among the memories in question.
And there are several inconsistencies to be found in those photos.
The problem with this procedure though is that such inconsistencies can be dismissed as simple oversights on the developers side, meaning that this is 100% percent dependent on ones willingness to interpret them either as inconsistencies or a developers oversight.
But for the purpose of this theory I'll continue under the former assumption.
And these are the inconsistencies I found:
​
Processing img vdlj795han3b1...
Truth Photo: Only lower level has vine-pattern, no table bellow the window, hanging photos (Note: The table bellow the window is actually gone in RW present time, but in the past there was one.)
Real World: Both levels have vine-pattern, table beneath the window, photos are on a sideboard.
​
Processing img m6az3bavbn3b1...
Processing img j1l9myucjn3b1...
​
Processing img 8vh1lqzcpn3b1...
Well... no. In reality, it is a sliding door:
​
Processing img 0otxujv6rn3b1...
​
Processing img lfq7am4wzs3b1...
Left photo: Left tree has no branch, right one has one on it's right side.
Right photo: Left tree has one branch on it's right side, right one has none.
​
Processing img aum9y3531t3b1...
Judging by the position of the sun in the photos, the incident is supposed to happen close to sundown.
However, this images shading implies nighttime.
Additionally, Aubrey mentions that Mari was found in the evening. And actually, the neighbours were home.
Or, at least Hero. Hero actually states that he was home in the afternoon of that day.
It is not unreasonable to say that if Hero was home, he would have somehow been alerted of what was hapenning: A crash, a scream, or simply looking out the window to see Sunny and Basil carry a dead Mari.
You know what have not been suspicious at all? Mari, walking across her own backyard towards the tree.
Processing img y16y8reu2t3b1...
​
Processing img j93z2beq6t3b1...
Left: Mari faces away from Basil.
Right: Suddenly, Mari does face towards Basil.
​
As you can see, there are quite a few inconsistencies that can be found in those photos.
​
II.b Basils Case
But up until this point, the only thing I've argued for is that Sunny memory is based on Basils account, and not that the incident in it's entire actually never happened to begin with.
​
Well, let us look at the following question: How realistic, or even feasably possible is 'the truth'?
The answer: Not at all.
​
You see... there is a standard procedure by authorities for suicide-cases.
One, the deceased has the to be officially pronounced dead - and for this, either a doctor or a paramedic is necessary.
The problem is that Mari supposedly fell down the stairs. There absolutely have to be at least bruises. And, in fact, the notesheets that Mari carried while falling are noted to be blood-stained. There also was blood.
The paramedic would find unexplained physical trauma and blood. At this point, they would be required to notify investigative authorities and alert them to evidence of foul play.
Two, in cases of a suicide without a suicide-note, a standard-investigation is carried out, including an obducation.
This procedure is mandatory, and cannot be vetoed even by close relatives.
And even if the investigations would yield no results, this case is more likely to be considered an unsolved homicide rather than a suicide.
​
There's also the matter of physical feasability. Can Sunny and Basil even pull this off...?
Not really.
There's 2 scenarios for this incident. Case I: Basil did it alone and Case II Sunny and Basil did it together.
Case I: Complete nonsense. Basil cannot pull this off.
He's 12 and Mari is 16 and significantly heavier. He's too weak.
The game actually comments on Basils strength, or more percisely his lack of exactly that:

BASIL ... OMORI... You're so heavy...
BASIL Come on... Up the stairs you go...
BASIL Phew... Thank goodness you're awake.
BASIL Are you hurt at all? I was trying to pull you toward this white light at the top of the staircase...

Key word being 'trying'.
This is the scene in question:
Processing img vbf5agr23v3b1...
As you can see, Omori is still lying at the bottom of the stairs. This means Basil didn't even manage to drag him a single step upwards.
Basil completely and utterly failed to even move another 12-yevar-old.
There is no way he can even remotely exert the force necessary to do that to Mari.
​
Case II: Sunny and Basil did it together.
I will concede that if they sling the rope around the branch, and then both of them at once oull at the rope, then they actually can get her to the necessary height.
The problem is the following though:
If they follow this procedure, they still have to fix the rope to the branch.
To do that, one of them has to let go of the rope, scale the tree and then tie the knot.
Now consider this: The setup essentially functions like a ⚖️:
Whatever is heavier at either end of the rope will remain on the ground.
Sunny and Basil together are heavier than Mari.
Either of them alone isn't.
As soon as either lets go of the rope, Mari will plummet, while the other 12-year-old will be lifted of the ground.
Another problem is scaling the tree. Sunny is afraid of heights, to the point that even the staircase is a serious obstacle.
Here's a visiualization of the necessary heights:
Processing img fcjjnly56v3b1...
Height of the branch: ~ Maris height x 1.666
Height of the noose: ~ Maris height x 1.2
​
Lowballing Maris height to the average 1.60m will lead to the following results:
Height of the branch: ~ 2.65m
Height of the noose: 1.92m
​
You can see that 2.65m is pretty high up.
In Basils case, it is actually implied that he is a bad climber due to a fear of height as well:

(5/25):
It's been pretty busy with school lately, but we finally made time to get together and go to the park today. Here's KEL hanging his legs off a tree. He's such a good climber! I wish I was as fearless as him.

This already constitutes a huge problem.
The alternative option is that they first tie the rope to the branch, and only then put Maris head through the noose.
The problem is the height of the noose. They'd have to lift Maris head ~ 1.90m of the ground.
This is problematic, since Mari is dead and thus her body acts like a limp noodle. They'd have to lift her by the head to avoid her body or head slumping over, and this creates a problem of reach.
Mind you that this is a situation in which even an adult would struggle to lift a person of comparable stature to this height.
Can two 12-year-old-boys, who are in a clear state of shock pull this off?
I highly doubt that.
And if we are to assume the scrapped descriptions of the album as a basis, then the case is already clear:
It is impossible, since all problems regarding Case II apply even more glringly to Case I.
​
Now, that still leaves the question on why Basil genuinly believes in this False Memory.
Well, we have talked about Basil and BPD, haven't we?
Well take a look at this:

This paper presents an analysis of dream-reality confusion (DRC) in relation to the characteristics of borderline personality disorder (BPD), based on research findings and theoretical considerations. It is hypothesized that people with BPD are more likely to experience DRC compared to people in non-clinical population. Several variables related to this hypothesis were identified through a theoretical analysis of the scientific literature.
Sleep disturbances: problems with sleep are found in 15–95.5% of people with BPD, and unstable sleep and wake cycles, which occur in BPD, are linked to DRC.
Dissociation: nearly two-thirds of people with BPD experience dissociative symptoms and dissociative symptoms are correlated with a fantasy proneness; both dissociative symptoms and fantasy proneness are related to DRC .
Negative dream content: People with BPD have nightmares more often than other people; dreams that are more likely to be confused with reality tend to be more realistic and unpleasant, and are reflected in waking behavior.
Cognitive disturbances: Many BPD patients experience various cognitive disturbances, including problems with reality testing , which can foster DRC. Thin boundaries: People with thin boundaries are more prone to DRC than people with thick boundaries, and people with BPD tend to have thin boundaries .
The theoretical analysis on the basis of these findings suggests that people who suffer from BPD may be more susceptible to confusing dream content with actual waking events.

If you're interested in this thematic, here's the source.
What this suggests is that people suffering from BPD are significantly more prone to DRC, which is an inability to differentiate between dreams and reality. On top of that, DRC is trongly linked to the concept of nightmares.
And Basil, in fact is hinted to suffer from this by his own dialogue:
​
Processing img kk3tofx0fv3b1...

BASIL
A lot has happened since these pictures were taken.
Sometimes, it feels like it was all a bad dream.

Note that he specifically says 'since these pictures were taken' - in the timeframe he describes, Maris death is included.
​
If it wasn't clear before what I was getting at with this, by now all the pieces should have fallen in place.
Yes, I am suggesting that the plot of OMORI is not some sort of murder-mystery, but instead a tragic tale about two boys who were completely ruined by a mental hell that exists exclussively in their heads.
Essentially, I am arguing that 'the truth' is a Red Herring, and that taking the obvious conclusion at face-value is a fallacy.
​
Here's a general outline for the backstory:
​

At the day of the recital, Mari commits suicide.
Sunny and Basil are the ones to find her. Both develop PTSD. Additionally, Basils BPD drastically worsens due to his trauma.
A few months pass. At an unspecified point during this time, Basil has a terrible nightmare influenced by his trauma, and due to BPD-related DRC mistakes it for a genuine memory.
He goes on to talk about 'the truth' to Sunny. Many reasons are possible: He just wants to comfort him, or maybe he did so in a desperate hope that Sunny would deny this memory to be true.
But Sunny has amnesia. And he is morbidly predispositioned to develop False Memories at other peoples suggestion. And since he has no way of debunking Basil recounting of that day, he accepts it as true.
Meanwhile, Basil had noticed Sunny to have 'forgotten' about 'the truth'. So, to ensure that Sunny does not do so again, he tapes the key to the back of one of his photos, and leaves the 'Don't forget'-message on it's back.
Basils influence on Sunnys vulnerable psyche has triggered the creation of Black Space (Note how the door to BS is located in a field of White Egret Orchid, which represent the phrase 'My thoughts will follow you into your dreams' Black Space is Basils suggestion following Sunny into his dreams).
In order to subdue it, he creates the Black Lightbulb, and starts to shut himself off completely.
4 years of silence follow, and in the meantime, 'the truth' rampages in Sunnys subconscious and grows in strength, as implied by both Stranger and Daddy Longlegs.
At the night of '3 Days Left', Sunny actively tries to remember 'the truth' and destroys the Black Lightbulb.
This causes the 'idea' that Basil unknowingly planted in Sunnys mind to resurface full-force.
What follows is a Sunny 'remembering' a False Memory, based on Basil account of the events. The photos are from Basils POV, in a book labeled 'Basils Memories', and are riddeled with inconsistencies and impossibilities.
Additionally, Basils claim of 'Something behind Sunny' having killed Mari is actually based on a truth: Since Something=Mari, this means 'Something killed Mari' is correct, just twisted beyond recognition.

I'd like to add that this theory also solves certain plot-issues rather nicely, and offers concrete conclusions rather than vague interpretations and shallow symbolism.
Specificall the key and photo in the treehouse, as well as the the meaning of the White Egret Orchid come to mind.
​
There is just one question left unanswered:
Mari.
Why?
​
II.c Mari
Well...

BASIL Aww, MARI... I wish I could be more like you! You always seem to have everything under control.
MARI That's not true at all! It just seems that way from the outside!

The implication here is that Mari has more going on than she lets on.
Additionally, she expresses a certain strong belief:

MARI
Everyone... I know it's tough right now, but we have to stay positive! We should all try to be like BASIL! Even when BASIL is upset, he always manages to smile.

She essentially says that one should suck it up and smile regardless.
This behaviour is dangerous.
If you actively try to cover up your problems up with toxic positivity, other people cannot offer help, and may result in those problems becoming worse and worse. This behaviour would explain why nobody saw it coming.
Mari is also a perfectionist.

Researchers have begun to investigate the role of perfectionism in various mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders and personality disorders, as well as suicide. Each disorder is associated with varying levels of the three subscales on the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale. For instance, socially prescribed perfectionism in young women has been associated with greater body-image dissatisfaction and avoidance of social situations that focus on weight and physical appearance.

Perfectionism is known to be a great contributor to both mental disorders and suicidal ideation.
I already have a specific disorder in mind, but more on that later.

Perfectionism is increasingly considered to be a risk factor for suicide. The tendency of perfectionists to have excessively high expectations of self and to be self-critical when their efforts do not meet the expectations they have established, combined with their tendency to present a public image of flawlessness increases their risk of suicidal ideation while decreasing the likelihood of seeking help when it is needed. Perfectionism is one of many suicide predictors that affect individuals negatively via pressure to fulfill other- or self-generated high expectations, feeling incapable of living up to them, and social disconnection.

This is pretty much the behaviour I have previously described.
In this context, it would make sense for Maris suicide to come out of nowhere due to a tendency to hide their problems and social disconnection.
Social disconnection is acually hinted at at least twice.

(9/9):
SUNNY giving MARI a big hug! MARI doesn't come home until late now because she's taking extra classes to prepare for college. Me and SUNNY have been hanging out a lot, but I'm sure he still misses her a lot.

According to Basil, Mari doesn't come home from school until very late. Furthermore, she appearantly barely gets to spend any time with Sunny, despite him being her brother and literally sleeping in the same room.
Subsequently, she probably gets little to no time to spend with the others either, including Hero.
This is further supported by the Black Space II area known as 'Mari is home':

AUBREY
Hey, OMORI... I think your sister is ignoring us. Maybe you should go talk to her.
KEL
We can't have a picnic without MARI!
HERO
MARI hasn't been home in a long time... She just needs some room to adjust.

According to Aubrey, Mari is ignoring them. This hints at increased social isolation on Maris side.
Heros wording also brings us to the next topic:
​
Adjustment Disorder.
Adjustment Disorder is in essence very similar to depression, but caused by an accute psychologic stressor. The disorder usually disappears once the offending stressor is terminated and the person manages to 'adjust' to the situation. The type I am suggesting is essentially very similar to Burnout.
Adjustment Disorder poses a strong risk-factor for suicide, especially if it is in conjunction with perfectionism.
Mari was extremely stressed in the months leading up the recital:
​

Mine and MARI's school books. MARI has been coming home late because of cram school. She must be tired...

Maris parents are sending her to cram school, which causes Mari to come home very late.
It is reasonable to assume that the majority of her free-time, most notably the weekends, were probably consumed by practicing for the recital.

A table lamp. MARI has trouble sleeping, so she reads books before bed. I often turn off this light for her after she falls asleep.

It is openly stated that Mari has problems falling asleep. This serves to make mental exhaustion and depressive tendencies even worse.
​
The way I see it, Mari was under constant and extreme pressure in the time leading up to the recital. Her busy schedule impeded on her social life, and combined with a prefectionist tendency to try and keep up an image of flawlessness resulted in her problems to go unnoticed by the others.
The closer the recital came, the more the pressure on Mari increased. She wanted it to be perfect, but since only the weekends are left to practice, this severly limited her opportunities to practice.
However, Sunny hated the practicing, and he also hated Mari locking herself away on the piano for hours at a time.
This conflict caused an alienation between the two siblings.
​
All of those issues combined provide both a realistic and believable reason for Maris suicide as well as an explanation as to why nobody saw it coming.
All in all I'd say that this alternative interpretation of 'the truth' greatly increases Mari depth as a character based on actual in-game evidence.
​
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
That should be about everything. If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments.
​
What do you think about this theory?
While I certainly expect a lot skepticism, I think that at the very least I have proven that this is fairly substantiated, realistic, and narratively compelling alternative interpretation of OMORIs plot.
Before you ask, yes, I do headcanon this.
I particularily like the subtle hints, and howthe characters personality, relationships and backstory fall in place very conveniently.
A lot of little details on their own can be dismissed very easily, yet together they converge to a very powerful argument.
Essentially, I love that this interpretation re-defines 'the truth' as an ingenious Red Herring.

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