I am male 33, she's female 38. We met when I was in a really low place, struggling with anxiety, depression and alcoholism. She was attractive but I never really felt horny around her. However I'd never had a proper relationship before due to my problems and I was very desperate for that connection, and sex.
She's helped me out a lot with my problems over the past 7 years. I've come out the other side of my mental health issues and I haven't drank for nearly 6 years. I've also helped her out in many ways. We've been good for each other.
However I don't find her that attractive sexually and I don't think we're that well matched. When I was struggling with myself I didn't know who I was and just wanted whoever would take me and was willing to change myself to suit them. But now I'm well again I know what I want and I feel like I'm being held back.
There's also two kids involved,she had them when we met, they're getting older now though and not long until they're adults.
I'm starting to feel like my wife is feeling the same way I am as she gets fed up with me not wanting to what she wants to do. She's more social than me and like to dance while I prefer quiet.
She's started talking to someone at work recently, she texts him all the time and they have in-jokes and she's always smiling at her phone when we're together. She also tells us what he's up to all the time. He's also married btw. At first I felt jealous and wanted her to stop talking, and I did mention it to her. She didn't stop. The longer it goes on though the more I kind of want it to happen so that I have a good excuse to end it and start living the life I want. I'm too much of a pussy to end it myself and it would make me look like the victim and get all the sympathy so I win in all ways.
"So I've started encouraging it. I mention that they seem to get on so well and I ask if he can come over and hang out so she has a friend. I also mention how we don't get on too well and we should do hobbies with other people so we both get what we want. I also said ""He's attractive isn't he?"" to her. It kind of turns me on on a weird way to think of her getting close to him.
So I'm going to see how it goes.
I'm also thinking I might be bisexual and if/when we split up I'm fantasising about all the people I'm going to try and get with and what we'll do.
So yeah, things are fucked up.
My BF of nearly a year has different work and financial values to me. He lost his WFH job in November, and has been doing casual consulting work through his online business since then - I would guess on average he works 10hrs paid per week, plus unpaid preparation etc.
I don't know how much he earns, but with the above plus welfare he's probably just holding things together for himself and his child (single father). We have separate finances and houses (he lives in a house owned by his parents), he contributes appropriately to shared bills and never asks me for money. I believe his savings have been depleted with no prospect to rebuild.
Initially I thought this was a rough patch, however he's had precarious employment for nearly 5 years (mostly related to severe family stressors). When I try to talk about work and money I seem to hit a brick wall - there's lots of shame, fear and avoidance. No matter how much I try to adopt a non-judgemental approach it's painful.
He appears to be quite passive - needing lots of encouragement to consider seeking further work or clients. I think his poor self esteem and self criticism is getting in the way, but he can't afford to keep seeing a psychologist rn.
Is it naive for me to think I can provide emotional support to help him grow from passive under-employment to independence? I wouldn't normally support partners thinking they can change one another, but he's unhappy with his financial insecurity. And isn't obvious that everyone has to work enough to fund their lifestyle plus create savings?
32 year old man, here. Everytime I quit drinking I see all of this inspirational BS about how great it is. Here I am 23 days into sobriety (no alcohol and no other substances at all) and I truly hate how I feel. The only benefit I can see in the near future is financial- which in itself makes not drinking worth it for me as when I do drink I go on binges where I spend like $200 in 3 days on booze (it's not cheap where I live).
The negatives of not drinking, for me include extreme agitation that seems to be getting worse (I was formally diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago)- I mean to the point where I genuinely feel like I need to go to the hospital (I was hitting my leg really hard repeatedly with my fist the other day I felt so profoundly agitated). I have constant suicidal ideation (I mean I have this while drinking too but at least I have moments of euphoria and clarity while drinking). Also when I don't drink I have quite literally a dozen racing thoughts at once and it's overwhelming. When I drink I have a few hours of clarity and I can focus on ONE thing for a few hours and it's beautiful and my mind feels calm. This is followed by a crash and then everything is x10 worse, though.
A therapist I saw recently told me to write out the benefits vs problems alcohol causes and honestly it was a very even list and the reasons for drinking were pretty legit. She told me she can see that I drink purely to treat my mental illnesseses (diagnosed ADHD and Boderline Personality Disorder). The therapist was a mental health nurse that I saw at the hospital day ten into not drinking (I went to the local emergency room with extreme agitation, anxiety and suciidal thoughts- they know me there as I've been there dozens of times for alcohol abuse problems and suicidal thoughts). The doctor was nice enough to give me two strong Valium to calm me down. So in the last 23 days the only substances I've consumed were two Valium and I would have drank instead if he didn't give me Valium. Theye aware of my substance abuse problems at the hospital and they told me I can come to the hospital occasionally if I need a benzo instead of drinking alcohol.
And herein lies the problem- I don't feel better at all without any substances, I really don't. I see my doctor on June 8th to discuss two medications that were recommended to me by a psychiatrist which include Acamprosate And Vyvanse. The former is prescribed for alcohol cravings and the latter for ADHD. I am nervous the doctor won't want to prescribe me ADHD medication as she is aware of my substance abuse problems but I think I really, really need to be on ADHD medication and also I am wanting to try this alcohol craving medication (it's 6 pills a day. Anyone else take it? It's called Acamprosate
Anyways sorry for any errors and I am ranting and I can barely read or type lately I am so agitated. Here's to another day of sobriety...ugh (longest I've ever went)
I’m in the market for a weekender convertible. Been mostly looking at used and new Miatas, but my local BMW dealership recently put a 1999 M Roadster with 25k miles up for sale for $29k. 3 owners, clean carfax, test drive was great and the exteriointerior is in fantastic condition. I love the car as my first car was a 1995 318ti, and it gives me major nostalgia.
I just wanted to run it by this community and see if there are any things I should be looking out for, and concerns with ownership such as parts availability and such. I know there is the subframe issue and I have them putting it on the lift Monday to check it out, but I’m assuming with so low miles that won’t be an issue. I would love to own this vehicle but it’s also nearly the same price as a brand new Miata, which would come with a lot of peace of mind and ease of repair. I very much enjoy how the Miata drives, but the BMW just felt like it was on a different level.
Any owners feel free to lend your advice!
I have a cat named Luna. Luna is the sweetest most loving cat ever… but to only three people. She ONLY lets me and my two brothers pet her, and hold her. To us, she’s any normal cat, but to everyone else, she is a DEMON!! My grandparents that raised her with us can’t even lay a finger on her without getting swatted at or hissed at, they can only give her food and go around her when they have food. But anyone else can not go near the cat without them being scared of what she will do. I don’t mind it because it makes me feel special to have such a caring cat, but I feel like everyone else has to experience the side of Luna that me and my brothers see. Any reason for this behavior? Why does she act this way? And is this normal?
Hi! Anyone up for hangout? drinks? gaming? watch series or movies with? Dm me if u want to have some fun.
About me : I'm masc, they said cute, about 5'2, and fun. I'm from Cebu, but I don't mind talking/chatting w someone who's not near my loc. we can do all stuff online as well like play games or binge watching movies.
About you: basta babae 😉
Is anyone else's store enforcing availability? Apparently in my store if you don't open your availability, you get your hours cut. I work full time and normally get my full 40 but starting June 17th, they have me working 16 hours?? I've had this specific schedule for near 2 years and I just started a second job based on my set schedule here. So I really can't change my availability. Has anyone heard of this? Any suggestions??
---Saturday, 11th of November, 2682 Terran Calendar---
‘Can you send me to the Forth Valley?’
‘Oh, we can try
… On an unrelated note, how’s your standard English? No problems in communicating?’
I should’ve just said ‘No, I have great
difficulty in communicating in anything but Lallans Scots!’ instead of putting on my poshest English speech register to say ‘Marjorie dearest, would
you be a lamb and pass another buttered scone… hold
the raspberry jam, it’s far
for me!’ which she told me she’d take as a ‘Yes.’
“This is an English language barracks
. If you have been directed here in error
, please make yourself known to barracks staff for reassignment
.” plays a loud, prerecorded Welsh language announcement, over speakers.
They’re fucking rubbing it in
“This is an English language barracks
. If you have been directed here in error
, please make yourself known to barracks staff for reassignment
.” it repeats in Scots Gaelic.
“Ceci est une caserne Anglophone
. Si vous avez été assigné ici par erreur
, veuillez vous faire connaître auprès du personnel de la caserne pour une réaffectation
.” it says in what I’m 90% sure is a French version of the same announcement (I can’t be certain
, though, as that’s not one of my languages).
Looking at the crowds, queuing to get in, makes me regret asserting that I didn’t need transport here.
‘You shouldn’t be sending someone to War
that you don’t trust to navigate themself from Galloway to Sussex!’ were my exact words.
I brushed off the recruitment officer saying that I’d be processed faster if I arrived on Military organised transport.
Well, standing here
’s not gonna get me to the front of the queue now, is it!
I walk forward to join the massive throng of people, almost all of which look to be about my age.
you feel, being an average height girl in a crowd of people!
178cm really isn’t all that much when you’ve got a not insignificant
number of +2m guys here!
Even guys who are the average 188cm can make a girl feel short when their packed too close…
I see a few
Neanderthal hunks… perhaps conscription won’t be all
When I make it to the front of the line, the guy just stares expectantly at me like I’m supposed to already
know what to do.
“Y’awright?… Err… mah nam’s Esme Reid…?” I say, hesitantly, in perfectly
“I’m sorry, would you repeat that?” he answers, looking at me like I just spoke to him in fucking Chinese!
, gracious sir! You may kindly refer to me by the name ‘Esme Reid
’!” I say, affecting my supercilious Southern English gentlewoman accent.
“Alright, Ms Reid. Please present your draft papers and identification.”
they have to ask me
to prove who I
am when they
the ones asking me
to go off and fucking die
I think about quipping that I should ask him to show me some proof that this is a legitimate Military installation sanctioned by the government of Sol… but think better
Instead, I pull out my draft papers and my holopad, quickly getting up my identification app.
The man scans the code with his own holo and spends a few seconds glancing from his screen to my face and back.
Seeming satisfied that I’m not attempting to enlist under a false identity (for whatever strange reason a person might want to do that
) he glances at my papers, says “Everything seems to be in order.” and waves a hand in front of a machine which whirs for half a second before spitting out a simple chain necklace with two little metal rectangles hanging off of it.
He hands it to me and says “This is your identification tag. Please check that the information on it is correct and, if it is, put it on and never take it off.”
I check the tag.
“You’ve got my name and birthday right…” I say, making a conscious effort to keep my speech register in that that a standard English speaker would consider acceptable “…don’t know about the regiment and serial number.”
“Those will be correct.” he says with a ‘move along’ tone.
I shrug, raise the dogtag over my head and drop it around my neck.
I walk on and he’s serving the girl behind me before I’ve even rounded the counter.
I’m ushered through the barracks, herded by the staff, until I reach a building labelled ‘Billet House 279’.
It doesn’t really look like I expected soldiers’ digs to look.
but sort of has more the look of a uni hall than anything else… though I think it’s probably a bit much
to expect that I’ll get a room to myself(!)
I follow the throng of draftees through to a wide open room, on the ground floor, that looks like it’s normally a cafeteria.
The camp attendants (who I’m guessing were in the same boat as us, not too
long ago) direct us to stand along the left, right and nearside walls, keeping the back wall and centre of the room clear.
Everyone in place, there follows a few minutes of silence broken only by people whispering to one another.
enters the room.
Dark skinned and clad in green camo clothing, her scalp is easily visible between her cornrows with nary a hair
out of place.
Her expression looks absolutely indifferent with just the slightest hint of a curled lip.
From the broadness and flatness of her facial features as well as her single mauve eye, she is clearly half Tshwane… though, you’d never
guess that from her stature
Female Tshwane average nearly 2m… the men
are more like 2.2m! She
shorter than me
She’s also built like a Sapiens, not the willowy thinness typical of Tshwane
I guess genetics interact in funny ways sometimes…
Based on her age, her Tshwane parent would probably have to have been one of the very first
to be cloned back!
The other eye seems to have been ripped out at some point because in its place is a bionic and there’s a patch of hypopigmented scar tissue, forming a tear shape, at the right corner.
“Recruits… Welcome to the United Terran Coalition Infantry Trainin’ Camp, Graffham… My name is Warrant Officer Simone Sands… and I’ll be your drill instructor…” says the woman, cooly, speaking in a rough sounding, London accent.
The surname ‘Sands’ probably
means her dad was the Tshwane (though not necessarily
… she might have been given her mum’s surname… or it might
be a coincidental English surname).
know why you’re here… Most of you’ve prob’ly already lost loved ones to this War… You are here to defend our right to exist
… and I can’t think of a more worthy reason to fight than that…”
I’ve decided I like this woman… She may
be English but I’ll try not to hold that
“The first thing I need to tell all of you is that, by the end of your trainin’, you will NOT
like me…” she says, as if reading my mind “…that’s OK. My job ain’t to be liked, my job ain’t to make friends… my job is to make soldiers
She casts her biological and bionic eyes around the room, letting her words hang in the air.
… that I said ‘soldiers
’… This ain’t Full Metal Jacket. This ain
the 20th Century. There’ll be
no Pvt Piles
here!… I ain
aimin’ to destroy
your minds or your individuality. I ain
goin’ to physic’ly and psychologic’ly abuse you into becomin’ robots or killers
… I am makin’ you into soldiers
… Regardless… this process will not
be easy! In fact, it may well
be the hardest thing you ever do
!… As the face of this process, you will
come to hate and resent me for it!… I hope
for it! The more you hate me the more-DO YOU HAVE SOMETHIN
’ TO SAY
Everyone in the room is startled by the authoritative woman breaking herself off to shout angrily at someone on the other side of the room.
“STEP FORWARD AND SPEAK SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU
The boy that steps forward is tall, bulky and muscular with a handsome
, half Neanderthal face… just
Then he has to go and ruin
it by opening his mouth.
“I was just saying… that I find it somewhat difficult to take you seriously as a commanding officer… You just seem a little bit… little
.” says the boy in the poshest, smarmiest
English drawl I’ve ever
The woman does not shout, she does not scream, she doesn’t snarl or even purse her lips!
She just nods, as if considering his words, then asks “What’s your name
“Rupert Forest.” responds the boy, proudly.
“And, how tall are you, Pvt Forest?” responds the woman, unimpressed
“195cm.” he answers.
“And, what’s your mass
?” she asks.
“I see, I see… So, by your
logic… you’d make a better drill sergeant than me, would you? You’re 25cm taller and 35kg heavier, afterall!”
He smirks “I wouldn’t presume to say so, Ma’am…” in a way that definitely suggests that he thinks he would
She seems to consider that for some moments before answering “Alright then, fight
me for it!”
“I’m sorry…?” responds the poshboy.
“You heard me… Clearly
, you got no
respect for skill and experience but it seems like you must respect power
… so fight
me for it! You win, you
get to train this lot, I
win, you never
question my authority again!”
Is this woman mad
be a soldier but this boy she just challenged is a half Neanderthal giant
She’s gonna lose
I do not
want to be drilled by some snotty, privileged English brat
who got here at the same time as I did and just couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut!
Then again, I don’t really want to be drilled by a woman so delusional that she felt the best way to squash insubordination was to challenge a man she has no hope
of beating, either!
The guy is clearly salivating
over the power that’s just been slapped on the table in front of him as he answers “I accept your terms
, Ms Sands…” with faux magnanimity.
There’s no way they’d let a Private run drills, is there? When he wins, someone just needs to go and complain and they’ll give us another (less stupid
) drill sergeant… right
He strips off his jacket to reveal a pair of thick, muscular arms that (in spite of his repulsive personality) are a thrilling
He has to go and ruin it by flexing and posing, clearly revelling
in the room’s worth of gasps he got when he revealed his arms… He obviously likes being the centre of attention.
“Done?” asks Sands, drily.
“If you still want to do
this…” he says, smugly “…you could
just concede defeat and I’m sure
no one would hold it against you!”
Her lip curls as she answers “But… if I did that, no one would learn
nothin’, now would
He shrugs before launching himself at her without waiting for her to give the word to begin.
She whirls out of the way and he snatches at her, unsuccessfully, as his momentum carries him past.
:…” she shouts while snapping into the space behind him and kicking out his knee “…size does not determine victory
, strength does not determine victory
…” levelling another powerful kick between his shoulderblades to bring him to the ground.
She backs off, allowing him to scramble to his feet and turn to face her, hunched in readiness and scowling.
“…Pvt Forest here looked at me with contempt on account of my small size and
, though he didn
’t say so
’d guess that my rough accent
, my lack of a graduate epithet and my lack of a penis also played a roll in his judgin
’ me as less than
!… He thought he could beat me
, he probably still DOES
, ’causa that
, he didn
’t respect my ability to lead
Forest makes another lunge for the smaller woman, misses and is punished for it by being knocked back to the floor.
I’m agog as I watch this little woman… there’s no other word but toy
with the giant
“…but victory does not care how big you are
, how strong you are
, how classy or educated you are or what’s in your pants or panties
She dodges around his arm and pins his chest to the floor with her knee.
“Discipline and trainin
’ determine victory
!… Things that I have and Pvt Forest LACKS
!… Things that ALL of you will acquire
, over the next 8 months
!!!” she turns her head down to the mountain of man she’s pinning to the floor “Concede
The man shakes his head, trying in vain to leverage himself up.
“Alright then… Lesson 2
: When faced with a resistant individual
, compliance can be effectively enforced by the expedient of lockin
’ their joints to induce PAIN
She grabs his thick arms by the wrists and pulls them backwards in a way they are not
meant to bend!
’t make me send you to the Medical Officer
’d be inconvenient for BOTH of us if your pride makes you miss your first week of trainin
’ while your arms heal
He holds out for two more seconds before screaming “I concede
! I CONCEDE
She releases him and stands back up.
your feet, Soldier…” she growls down at him.
He stands back up, his face beet
“Are you ever
goin’ to question my fitness to instruct again, Private?” she glares up at the humiliated giant.
“No.” he answers, gracelessly.
…?” she says as if waiting for something else.
Forest looks as confused as I am about what she’s expecting.
!” she snarls.
“Good, we’ll work
on your attitude, movin’ forward. Now, get
back in line!”
The humiliated man picks up his civvy jacket and returns to the place he was called out from.
“Now, I don’t think I need to prattle on anymore about how you’re gonna hate me by the end of our time together, do I?… I think Pvt Forest helped me prove that point quite well
, so I’ll move on… You will sleep in this
buildin’, six to a room. Your rooms will be gender segregated. If you wish for a place to be… intimate
with people of the opposite gender, you may request use of one of the conjugal rooms… I suggest
you do the same if you want to be intimate with a same
gender partner but that
between you and your roommates
! You will eat in this room at 0700hrs, 1200hrs and 1800hrs. Diet’ry requirements will be accommodated but, bare in mind, this ain’t your mummies’ and daddies’ kitchen
! ‘This food is forbidden by my religion/personal ethics’ is a diet’ry requirement. ‘I am allergic to this food’ is a diet’ry requirement! ‘I don’t like
food tastes’ is not
(!)… In the mornin’s, you will be receivin’ lessons in lecture theatres, workshops and the like…”
… just what I
wanted after leaving school
classrooms(!)” I mutter to myself.
Her head instantly wheels to me with unnerving precision.
“Someone else with somethin
’d like to say
!?” she says, locking eyes with me, terrifyingly.
, Ms Sands!” I answer, instantly.
’m not your bloody schoolteacher girl
Everyone laughs. Even Pvt Forest, like he wasn’t just humiliated himself
, 2 minutes ago!
“Ma’am… err… Ma
!!!” I say, doing my best to emulate the tone I’ve seen soldiers use in films.
She rolls her eye (it’s difficult to tell if the bionic rolls too) and says “Better
… What’s your name
, the Private
’s name is Esme Reid
“Do you remember me tellin’ you this ain
Full Metal Jacket?… You don’t need to scream
when you talk to me, you don
need to refer to yourself in third person and one
‘Ma’am’, when you’re done speakin’, is enough
She points to her single, mauve eye, then to me and says “I’ll have my eye
on you, Reid!”
Somehow, her tone sends a chill up my spine but I do my best not to show it.
She turns away and I release a silent sigh of relief.
“As I was sayin’… In your lectures you will learn the ins and outs of military theory; tactics, strategies, logistics etc. You will learn as much as we can tell you about the nature of the species we are fightin’; their capabilities, tendencies, political organisations and known weaknesses… bear
in mind that First Contact weren’t much more than 4 years ago and we’ve been at War for almost all the intervenin’ time, so a lot of what we teach you will be little more than guesswork and hearsay from prisoners we’ve interrogated… The mornin’s’ll also be where you learn the particulars of the equipment you’ll be expected to be proficient with in the field. This includes firearms, plasmaweaponry and durasteel armour, as well as the tech you’ll likely encounter from the opposite side; kinetic pulse weapons, laser weapons, field emitters etc… I strongly
suggest that no
one allows word to get back to me that they’re not takin’ these classes seriously!… A stupid soldier is a dead
She glares around the room, her eyes resting on me four a quarter of a second.
“…In the afternoons and evenin’s, you’ll be doing PT… that’s ‘Physical Trainin
’’… soon to be every one
of your two least
favourite words in the English Language(!) “
I notice a wry smirk twist the mouths of a few of the camp attendants.
“In PT you will be drilled in agility, endurance, close quarters combat and coordinated marching… Five times over the comin’ 8 months, you and your trainin’ partner will be dropped into a remote bit of wilderness, somewhere on Earth, for five day practical survival experience. You will be given a beacon, to summon retrieval, but these are only to be used in cases of actual threat to life or bodily integrity
… not because you’re feelin’ miserable
She takes a second to pause for breath.
“You get an allowance of 12 days off, over your time here… that’s two
a month… These are subject to my
approval and I may deny them for any
reason, including no
reason… so don
piss me off!… You may not
take more than 2 consecutive days leave at a time! Certain classes are mandatory
and leave will not
be approved on days they occur. If your allowance is spent, no more leave will be approved, barring a real
emergency!… Now, for today, you are going to line up to have your maps and room keys downloaded onto your holos when your name is called, then
you are going to have your bodies scanned for your armour measurements… at that point everyone with no uterus has the rest of the day free to settle in… If you have
a uterus, you’ll need to report to medical to get your cycle paused! This is, I’m afraid, non
optional… You are not prohibited from engaging in relations with your fellow recruits but you cannot
be a soldier while you’re able to get pregnant. Attempts to circumvent this requirement in any
way will land you in the Stockade!… After your cycle pause has been given, you’ll also have the rest of the day to settle in… Enjoy
it! It’ll be the most downtime you get for a while
!… Finally… I believe we have a 17 year old with us here… Pvt Taylor?”
A few people put their hands up, most looking confused.
Taylor! The 17
year old?” she says, exasperated.
All but one of those with their hands up put them down.
The one remaining Pvt Taylor with his hand in the air has pale skin, black hair, brown eyes and a sharp featured face wearing a dour expression.
He stands even taller than Forest… Nearly 2m tall!
Though he’s not quite
as heavily built, he’s certainly a good
looking piece of boycandy!
…” says Sands, her mouth breaking into a smile for the first time I’ve seen “…couldn’t wait
to go off to War, could you(?)”
He mutters something but, while I can hear the power and deepness of his voice, I can’t make out a word he says.
“You’ll have to speak up
, Taylor! Nobody’ll be able to hear you if you mumble.” points out Sands.
“I said I had some personal circumstances that made this the most sensible course of action for me, Ma’am.” says the tall, dark haired man, looking over her head rather than down at her and speaking in a grim monotone. He definitely loses boycandy points for the poshness of his accent, unfortunately…
“I see… I won’t pry into that
but… you didn’t think of Officer Training? That
the route that most
people take when volunteering ahead of their conscription.”
He shakes his head “I thought of it and decided against it, Ma’am.”
“Oh? Why’s that, Pvt Taylor?”
“I didn’t believe I would make
a good officer, Ma’am.” he answers simply.
She laughs “I wish every soldier could be as introspective, Taylor! I like you
!… Unfortunately, bein’ a minor does mean that you can’t be put in a room with others… Sooo
, that means you get a room to yourself… for the moment. Might sound
cushy but before anyone else gets too
jealous, bare in mind that privacy is the only
advantage! His room will be a sixth the size of yours so its basic’ly a broomcupboard
… the dis
advantage will be severely
reduced opportunity to socialise!… If that doesn’t sound doable, you can leave and come back when you turn 18, Taylor.”
“It’s acceptable, Ma’am.” he says without hesitating.
Yeah… it’s official… I don
I rub the spot on my arm where the serum was thunked into me about 15 minutes ago.
Like with everything else
about conscription, I get
it… I understand the point
But seeing the sense doesn’t mean I have to like
It’s not like I want
to get pregnant (getting a nine month reprieve from service would be a fairly
shitty reason for me to bring a child
into the world) but it does feel like one last slap in the face to my personal autonomy
that I’ve just had a cycle pause fucking mandated
upon my body by the government!
As I draw near, door 1512 detects the key downloaded on my holo and unlocks
I open it and am greeted by a blonde girl, smiling broadly and instantly identifiable as brimming
with ADHD energy.
there! My name’s Charlotte, it’s lovely
to meet you!” says the girl, wrapping me in a hug without asking if I’m OK with that.
Her accent makes me wonder if everyone
I meet here is going to be a posh toff
She makes three of three
of my fellow draftees!
“A pleasure, Charlotte… the name’s Esme…” I say, speaking Scottish accented standard English and gingerly patting her back.
“Oh, you’re Scottish
…?” she says pulling herself off me with an expression that suggests meeting a Scottish person is just the most wonderful
thing she could have imagined
“…My great grandmother was from Edinburgh, where are you
“Stranraer.” I answer.
She frowns “I don’t know it, I’m sorry
“I won’t hold it against you… Southwestern tip of Scotland? Where it nearly touches Ireland and the Man Peninsula?… ’Bout two and a half million people?”
! I don’t think I’ve ever met
someone from a village
before!” she says, seeming entirely oblivious to how that might
be taken as an insult.
“Yeah… I guess it’s not
“Well…” she wraps me back in the hug and continues “…we’re the first ones to the room and that has
to mean we’re going to be best
“I’m afraid my best friend’s name is Tamsin… the position is not
open.” I say, firmly setting a boundary.
“I meant best bootcamp
friends, silly!” she says, as if that should have gone without saying.
“Alright… I guess that positions open… but you’ve not got the job yet
(!)” I quip, warming up a little to the ball of posh English energy.
She pulls back and beams at me “Alright then, for my first
act as best bootcamp friend candidate, let me show you the view!… That
should earn me some points!”
She says, leading me into the room that’s so small it makes me doubt that that goody-two-shoes 17 year old can possibly
have one a sixth
She leads me to the window and spends a few moments making sure I’m positioned just right before she draws back the curtain.
The view is
quite breathtaking… rolling hills of snow blanketed mammoth steppe, lit by evening sun, with barely any of the sprawling military camp visible.
Though, you can
see one of the tallest structures ever built by Humanity… the Sussex Space elevator… several times the Earth’s own diameter, the ‘top’, if you can even call
it that, is a fifth of the way from here to Luna! …And… in 8 months, I’m going to be riding it, all the way up, to get on a troop transport.
“Look! See! There’s a herd of aurochs over on that hill! You know this place used to be a national park, before even Unification or the Reset! It’s called the South Downs! My mum told me we had family from here… obviously I never met any of them because they would have left hundreds
of years ago!…”
The bubbly girl talks and talks and… just keeps
talking… but I don’t particularly mind.
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--- TWBS Previous
So l got a bad tattoo from what I thought seemed like a good artist. All the work that I could see from them was good including their script. They had great reviews and artists I've gotten work done with follow them on social media. It was just line work seemed like it should be simple enough. The words "Face the music" on my arm. All the letters look shaded. It is thicker in some spots and thinner in others. While I was there I had the artist touch up things but it just started to look worse so I stopped paid and left. My mistake. I messaged the artist while in my car to ask if it is supposed to look that crappy (I know it's isn't) and they said it'll look good in TWO WEEKS. Bullshit. They said they'd be happy to touch it up within 3 months but I don't want them near me again. ANYWAY can I fade this so another artist will be able to fix? Should I wait for the tattoo to heal before trying to fade it? Ive never had this happen before and need some advice.
I'm playing a Pyro Sorcerer and to me the firewall spell feels kinda clunky. It is really important to cast it in the correct angle so that it can hit the maximum amount of enemies. Sadly though the game seems to snap it onto enemies and I really don't get why it would do that.
Whenever I have my mouse near an enemy and cast Firewall, the spell is cast on the position of the enemy instead, moving the outer border of the wall such far that it doesn't hit enemies which it would've if it was just cast on the position of my cursor.
Is there any option to disable that? If there isn't then I'd say that really should be fixed.
I know the title doesn't make a lot of sense. What I am trying to ask is; let's say that I have a spectrum analyzer, a tinysa ultra, with 800MHz bandwidth, which claims to be calibrated to 5.3GHz in ultra mode. It uses some kind of harmonic mixing and spur removal algorithms but I am not quite sure how it works yet.
I am going to buy some transistors and schottky diodes to build radio frequency receivers and some testing equipment like a return loss bridge and signal sources.
What kind of fmax should I aim for? Should I limit myself to transistors with fmax<800MHz? Maybe 5.3GHz? I know there is no hard rule about this kind of thing and also that it is pretty much impossible to actually get any gain at fmax from a transistor. Most of them seem to be specified for about a third of their transition frequency.
What kind of scares me is that I will buy these transistors, build some circuits and then they will oscillate at some very high frequency that I can't detect, though I suppose it is not very likely that a transistor can be made to oscillate at frequencies near fmax especially considering that the rest of the circuit will have some loss even if I were to try and make it oscillate.
I am thinking of getting some BFP183 for amplification/oscillators and some cheap medium barrier schottkies for mixers. I've already got lots of lower frequency transistors and I've been building RF circuits as a hobby for about 10 years or so. It's just that seeing "GHz" in a datasheet kinda scares me :)
BFP183 seems to have an fmax of about 10.3GHz based on its fT, Rbb and Ccb. I figure I can just run it at a lower than ideal current to lower its fT, although I will need to run it at a higher current to drive those schottky diodes for mixers. Maybe I can buy a more powerful but slower transistor to do that. The reason I am considering it is because it seems to be quite cheap.
I am open to transistor-diode suggestions and thanks in advance for your answers.
I took the FAR section on June 1, 2023 and don't know what to think about it. It has been said several times on this sub that the MCQs are less wordy than what's on Becker and I totally agree with that. The questions seemed fairly straight forward in testlet 1 except for a few that tripped me over. This was mostly because I didn't review F7 before going in for the exam so there were a couple of equity, EPS related questions that I hadn't prepared too well for. Due to the time crunch, my focus had been on cash flows in this chapter. The second testlet did seem a little more complex and I ended up marking more questions on this testlet.
Since the most stated advice is to do governmental and NFP accounting like your life depends on it, I counted the number of questions that I got on this topic. There were nearly 18 MCQs and even a sim from governmental and NFP. It's important to know this part of the exam so if you're preparing, ensure you have enough time to complete this. I did F1-F4 first and then kinda jumped to F7-F-10 and that gave me time to do a lot of cumulative reviews that helped during the exam. Not sure if this method would help others but I am glad I had time to absorb the concepts.
What really tripped me up were the sims though. I have read on this sub that BRS, leases, bonds are commonly tested simulations and yet I didn't get any of these? I got some random consolidation sim where I had to account for eliminations, two memos to edit based on the exhibits, cash flow statement using the indirect method. It kinda sucked balls to be honest. Everything is just weird. I don't know how else to explain this.
Anyone else get the same feeling after leaving FAR?