North node in the eighth house
Skem
2013.06.10 10:04 Rhavo Skem
What do you love about Skem or what do you hate? What are your fondest memories growing up? Where did you go as a kid and what did you do? This is a relaxed and socially responsible community. Come on in if you have something to say.
2013.04.02 04:11 celesticas victorian house porn [sfw]
2009.07.07 06:19 takali Spiders
All things Arachnid: articles, photos, videos, and ID requests are welcome. PLEASE INCLUDE A GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION WITH ID REQUESTS
2023.03.22 08:20 Masarakingkin can someone help me with this? Idk how to get rid of this pop up and can't play the game. all mods except for 3 are from curseforge.
 | submitted by Masarakingkin to Sims4 [link] [comments] |
2023.03.22 08:20 Rough_Willingness_13 What is happenning ?
Well life started way back in 70's i grew up in 80s and early 90's. My life had a little twist ,i was not staying with my parents ...but my maternal grand parents. A child who was sometimes extremely loved and sometimes subjected to extremes ..... As i grew up i realized my father was not taking up my responsibilities and it was my maternal side of the family ( i was becoming a burden )i cld feel it for sure . Among all this chaos i had found role models within the family. Men i thought were father figures , tutuion teacher whom i thought was like my grand father. i felt so strange when he squeezed my breasts ( i would be 11years old then ) i dint know what was happening cld not talk to anyone ....how stupid i was i thought this is how punishment is given for not doing the homework. stupid idiot i was.... well time passed luckily this tutor was replaced as my uncles friend said he would teach. Well the weirdest part is that as i look back i dint realise that he was sexually molesting me. Luckily the next tutor was a through gentle man....
i was an above average student ... well cld not afford to do bad as my "family" would not talk to me for days tghtr for not getting good grades... punishments were harsh ... the same maasi of mine cld beat me black and blue taunt taunt and taunt laugh at me .... i see her treating her own children i wonder whether all the "care ' was just for me . I was indebted to them all however they paid my school fees gave me a comfortable life.
Well ! the real story starts as i move to one of my aunts house in mumbai ... her husband was my role model..... my father figure my idol... at times i wonder what is my problem .... do i invite trouble .... would post soon the second half
submitted by Rough_Willingness_13 to lifestory [link] [comments]
i was an above average student ... well cld not afford to do bad as my "family" would not talk to me for days tghtr for not getting good grades... punishments were harsh ... the same maasi of mine cld beat me black and blue taunt taunt and taunt laugh at me .... i see her treating her own children i wonder whether all the "care ' was just for me . I was indebted to them all however they paid my school fees gave me a comfortable life.
Well ! the real story starts as i move to one of my aunts house in mumbai ... her husband was my role model..... my father figure my idol... at times i wonder what is my problem .... do i invite trouble .... would post soon the second half
2023.03.22 08:20 AutoModerator [Get] Dan Koe – Digital Economics Masters Degree Full Course Download
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2023.03.22 08:20 baileewilliams Five points you should know before having an ESA Letter in New York
 | submitted by baileewilliams to u/baileewilliams [link] [comments] |
2023.03.22 08:19 Zhanlu Intact light bulb with broken filament
I remember it was around the time when I was in the 4th or 5th grade, roughly 10-11 years old. I went to play at my neighbor's house, where my neighbor's friend, who was the same age as me, was also visiting. That day, he was holding a toy gun and aiming it at the light bulb of a table lamp in the room. He pulled the trigger, and with a snap, the lamp went out. I asked him why he would shoot his own lamp, warning him that his parents would scold him when they returned. He looked at me in surprise and said, "No, it was just a blank shot. There were no bullets in the gun." I asked how the light bulb could have gone out then. We carefully inspected the light bulb and found that it was intact, but the filament inside had indeed broken, causing it to go out. The two of us burst into laughter at this discovery. As teenagers, we thought it was just a coincidence. Now that I am 40 years old, looking back at that incident, I find the coincidence almost impossible.
submitted by Zhanlu to Glitch_in_the_Matrix [link] [comments]
2023.03.22 08:19 Xjapan30 Sweat Equity is really sweaty and nasty. But, I like it nasty.
I got laid off from an IT job during the Pandemic in MA. After some deep thought, I sold my house and moved to the corner of FL. I used the money I from my old house and picked up two 1br. duplexes and a single house on the two adjoining lots in the Ghetto. The city is being gentrify. I'm just a victim of a good deal and don't have much money, so I gamble with what I have . The buildings were complete junk, and need total renovation. I gutted and renovated the 2br. house and live there as my main residence. Then, I start to tear it up and rebuild one after another. I have to pause here and there when money running low. I cashed out my 401K and sold my beloved classic car to fund the construction projects. It was a rough road with sore hands and tired feet. I just finished my 3rd rental unit and just rented out. One more unit left to go, but no money left, so I'm looking to go back to work and raise some capital. My buildings worth 4x what I paid for a little more than two years ago, so my gamble wasn't too bad. I'm new and just found out about this forum. The Reading up on this forum give me some much helpful insights that I never knew. I'm tiring of doing things the hard way, and there must be better way than this, so I'm all ears. Thank you for the tips in advance.
submitted by Xjapan30 to realestateinvesting [link] [comments]
2023.03.22 08:18 CtrlAltDestroyz Tired of every ranked map
I never get emerald plains or any new map because this community refuses to not ban new maps. I’m going to stop playing this game at this point because ranked is the only mode I enjoy and there’s zero maps for it. I hate when Ubisoft reworks maps just go not use them in ranked (house, Hereford). Like what’s the point? Am I the only one who is just tired of the lack of maps?
submitted by CtrlAltDestroyz to Rainbow6 [link] [comments]
2023.03.22 08:17 f1newsbot Porsche will not join Formula 1 grid in 2026
Porsche will not join the Formula 1 grid in 2026 as it is believed to have ended its formal evaluation of a programme despite the championship still being of interest.
The Volkswagen Group-owned manufacturer intended to enter F1 alongside sister brand Audi as part of the new engine regulations.
While Audi decided to commit to building its own F1 engine and concluded a deal to buy into the Sauber team, Porsche’s talks with the likes of Red Bull and McLaren collapsed because Porsche wanted to buy a significant stake – or even a controlling one.
Its prospects to join the grid in 2026 have looked bleak ever since and The Race understands Porsche’s focus is now on its existing motorsport programmes instead.
This includes a works Formula E entry and a high-profile return to the top class at the Le Mans 24 Hours as part of the 963 Hypercar project.
Porsche still retains an interest in F1, but it will not have an entry or affiliation with a team in the medium term.
This marks the end of the best opportunity F1 has had to bring Porsche back for the first time since the disastrous Footwork partnership in 1991.
And although the end of a formal evaluation of F1 does not preclude resuming the search for a partner team in the future, it is unlikely the timing will be as good as 2026 appeared to be.
There are new car rules as well as the new engine coming in 2026, and the power unit will not feature the complicated and off-putting MGU-H either, which gives new competitors a better chance at taking on established teams and engine suppliers.
When the initial decision to try to find a way to enter F1 was revealed last year, then-VW CEO Herbert Diess said those factors meant it was probably the last chance for a decade to join the grid.
“You can’t catch up on that when you join a new team,” said Diess.
“You need five or 10 years to be among the front runners. In other words, you can only get onboard if you have a major rule change.
“That means you can decide now to do Formula 1 – or then probably not again for 10 years.”
Porsche’s Red Bull discussions were its most high-profile effort to get on the grid and it lined up a 50% buy-in into the company that designs and builds Red Bull Racing’s cars as part of a plan that would have also given Porsche its own engine supply, as Red Bull has created a new Powertrains division to build its first ever in-house F1 engine.
When the Red Bull talks fell apart last summer, Porsche insisted it was still assessing options to join the grid, but only by chasing a stake in an existing team as it lacks the infrastructure to take on a solo engine project.
That is why it was not among the manufacturers to formally register their interest in the engine rules for 2026, even though that would not have constituted a binding entry.
Any Porsche engine deal after the collapse of the hoped-for Red Bull tie-up would therefore likely have been limited to using the engine Audi plans to design and build, and possibly running it in the Porsche name.
It is unclear how many teams were approached formally. McLaren had direct conversations with both Porsche and Audi but was unwilling to forfeit control or naming rights, which prevented discussions from continuing.
Starting a new team from scratch, with the FIA opening a process for up to two new teams to join from 2025, did not appeal either due to the cost and infrastructure involved.
VW has at least achieved half its aim because Audi will have a full works entry from 2026.
It already owns 25% of Sauber as of this January and that will gradually escalate to 75%, with current majority owner Finn Rausing set to retain a minority stake when the transaction is complete.
This is a gradual exercise because Sauber currently runs as Alfa Romeo in F1, due to a sponsorship deal with the Italian brand, and is powered by Ferrari engines until the end of 2025.
Source: https://the-race.com/formula-1/porsche-will-not-join-formula-1-grid-in-2026/
submitted by f1newsbot to NonFatF1News [link] [comments]
The Volkswagen Group-owned manufacturer intended to enter F1 alongside sister brand Audi as part of the new engine regulations.
While Audi decided to commit to building its own F1 engine and concluded a deal to buy into the Sauber team, Porsche’s talks with the likes of Red Bull and McLaren collapsed because Porsche wanted to buy a significant stake – or even a controlling one.
Its prospects to join the grid in 2026 have looked bleak ever since and The Race understands Porsche’s focus is now on its existing motorsport programmes instead.
This includes a works Formula E entry and a high-profile return to the top class at the Le Mans 24 Hours as part of the 963 Hypercar project.
Porsche still retains an interest in F1, but it will not have an entry or affiliation with a team in the medium term.
This marks the end of the best opportunity F1 has had to bring Porsche back for the first time since the disastrous Footwork partnership in 1991.
And although the end of a formal evaluation of F1 does not preclude resuming the search for a partner team in the future, it is unlikely the timing will be as good as 2026 appeared to be.
There are new car rules as well as the new engine coming in 2026, and the power unit will not feature the complicated and off-putting MGU-H either, which gives new competitors a better chance at taking on established teams and engine suppliers.
When the initial decision to try to find a way to enter F1 was revealed last year, then-VW CEO Herbert Diess said those factors meant it was probably the last chance for a decade to join the grid.
“You can’t catch up on that when you join a new team,” said Diess.
“You need five or 10 years to be among the front runners. In other words, you can only get onboard if you have a major rule change.
“That means you can decide now to do Formula 1 – or then probably not again for 10 years.”
Porsche’s Red Bull discussions were its most high-profile effort to get on the grid and it lined up a 50% buy-in into the company that designs and builds Red Bull Racing’s cars as part of a plan that would have also given Porsche its own engine supply, as Red Bull has created a new Powertrains division to build its first ever in-house F1 engine.
When the Red Bull talks fell apart last summer, Porsche insisted it was still assessing options to join the grid, but only by chasing a stake in an existing team as it lacks the infrastructure to take on a solo engine project.
That is why it was not among the manufacturers to formally register their interest in the engine rules for 2026, even though that would not have constituted a binding entry.
Any Porsche engine deal after the collapse of the hoped-for Red Bull tie-up would therefore likely have been limited to using the engine Audi plans to design and build, and possibly running it in the Porsche name.
It is unclear how many teams were approached formally. McLaren had direct conversations with both Porsche and Audi but was unwilling to forfeit control or naming rights, which prevented discussions from continuing.
Starting a new team from scratch, with the FIA opening a process for up to two new teams to join from 2025, did not appeal either due to the cost and infrastructure involved.
VW has at least achieved half its aim because Audi will have a full works entry from 2026.
It already owns 25% of Sauber as of this January and that will gradually escalate to 75%, with current majority owner Finn Rausing set to retain a minority stake when the transaction is complete.
This is a gradual exercise because Sauber currently runs as Alfa Romeo in F1, due to a sponsorship deal with the Italian brand, and is powered by Ferrari engines until the end of 2025.
Source: https://the-race.com/formula-1/porsche-will-not-join-formula-1-grid-in-2026/
2023.03.22 08:17 LauraBeanKiller WIBTAH if I told my family how I feel about their treatment of me?
Hello all
I am sorry for the long post. I feel a bit too old (35f) to be hung up on how my family treats me (parents and siblings), but have been feeling the need to bridge a gap caused by years of emotional abuse because, frankly, I am hoping that as adults we can grow past some of the behaviors of the past. I am the youngest of 4 kids with 2 brothers (36m and 38m) and an oldest sister (39f). I have had low contact with my parents and my siblings since I moved out because I have always felt like the "extra" unwanted person in everything.
Growing up, my mother proudly called me the "mistake" child since she didn't want me. She wanted my two older siblings to the point that she stopped taking birth control so she could get pregnant before my dad was ready for kids, but she didn't want any more kids after my two older siblings were born. My dad didn't want my mom to get her tubes tied yet (this was the 80s when a woman needed her husbands' permission). She had my second brother and my dad finally gave her permission to get her tubes tied. When my mom went for her appointment to cut the tubes, she found out she was pregnant again. When she went back to the hospital months later, she hoped for a girl or else she was going to tell the doctors to put me back. She was happy I was, indeed, a girl. I know this story by heart because my mom has been telling it to me my entire life. My sister is the golden child. I am the mistake.
As I got older, I noticed a discrepancy between how my two older siblings were raised and how the two younger siblings were brought up. My two older siblings were taught to drive, driven to their jobs before they got their own cars and had their cars half paid for by my parents. My mom, who did the majority of the parenting as a stay-at-home mother until I was 16 since my dad worked 2nd shift, was frightened when teaching my brother to drive because of his recklessness and refused to teach the younger two siblings to drive. She also didn't drive us to our high school jobs because, even though she was willing to for my older siblings, she was too tired to with the younger two. It was also common for my older siblings to get most of what they wanted if they asked for it, but the two youngers were typically told no. The younger brother was smart enough to go into the military just 2 weeks out of high school. I wasn't thin enough to do that or else I would have as well. I worked a dead-end job unable to save enough money nor find a driving school that could teach me to drive on a irregular schedule for years. I hid in my bedroom away from my family for years because my mom liked to comment on my weight, or my oldest brother liked to have fun of me in cruel ways like locking me in the bathroom while he and his friends, my sister and her friends, and my mother just laughed until I almost broke the door trying to get out. Whenever I made an appearance for short bursts I always regretted it because my family would make snide remarks of how rare it was and how I was disrupting the peace literally by sitting there quietly watching TV fidgeting nervously but sometimes I just needed a break from my room. Once, I asked my oldest brother (the one who played cruel jokes on me earlier in life) that still lived at home if I could be invited to the fishing trips he had with my other sibling without me, but the one time I went he told me I was uninvited after that because, even though I really didn't talk much, I would hum under my breath and it annoyed him. After finally getting a decent paying job with a consistent schedule that enabled me to get driving lessons, I was able to move out just 6 months after getting the new job in 2016. I immediately went low contact with my family, partially because I didn't want to see them and partially because I didn't get invited to things.
As a result of my upbringing, I am introverted with extraversion tendencies. I can be talkative and vibrant person outside of my family especially with those I am comfortable with, but when I am around family I tend to clam up and try to disappear because I feel uncomfortable talking since everything I say is something to be ridiculed. I stopped going on Facebook because I kept seeing pictures of things my sister and brothers do together, such as family cookouts throughout the summer with everyone but me, fishing, hiking, camping and hunting that I also enjoy but am never invited to partake in. The family cookouts are the ones that hurt me the most since it is literally every single person of the family and my siblings say they forget to ask me when I asked why I wasn't invited once I saw them again (I never do it on Facebook because drama is ew). Siblings going ice fishing at the big lake in the town I bought my house, just 5 minutes away when I am not working also hurts. I WAS asked to go camping for the first time this last summer for a weekend, but it turned out that I was only invited to spill gossip about my most recent break up with a boyfriend of 4 years and felt extremely uncomfortable getting into the details of that break up so probably didn't divulge enough information for their satisfaction. It was obvious that my siblings had a routine together for camping and that my presence was bothersome. I tried helping out by making a fire in the morning, which surprised my brother since he usually starts the fire and didn't know I could make one. Then I was called a bitch because I asked my sister's kids if they can do an activity someplace else because the flare thingies were putting out red smoke and I am allergic to red dyes. I was told I could have moved myself instead of asking the kids to go someplace else because it wasn't bothering anyone else. So, after apologizing, I moved to my tent and was called a bitch again because I was not being social and was being too sensitive. I had said maybe 10 sentences the entire weekend and apparently 2 of them were wrong.
I feel the ONLY time my parents or siblings contact me is when they feel obligated like for holidays or when they need something. I usually always oblige in giving things like cash unless I don't have it but the one time I said no because I didn't have time I was called a selfish self absorbed C word. This was shortly after I moved out. My brother (the one who went to the military, but eventually moved into my parents house again) didn't have his own car and needed a ride to work (which is the same place I work). My other brother asked me to give him a ride with less than an hours notice, while I was cooking my lunch and was about to take my shower for the day. Their house is 20 minutes in the opposite direction from work, which would mean I would have had to get there 10 minutes before the call had taken place in order to even consider getting to work on time. I simply could not do it. But since I said no that one time, I have not received any requests for help from anyone in my family. Even when I made suggestions that I was available to bring my mother to the hospital for her heart appointments or that I was available to take care of my sister's kids instead of having my mom watch them after she had had a heart attack. My family don't think I'm reliable because I said no once. My oldest brother, who constantly flakes on my siblings to the point that my sister stopped telling her kids that he suggested doing X thing on Y day because he mostly forgets to do them or triple books himself, is the one who everyone trusts to do things. Even when I'm available.
Because I am feeling an odd sense to become closer to my family in recent years and since I am not invited to things usually, I have been asking my siblings if they want to do stuff with me. I have asked about doing escape rooms together, family card nights and other activities and either no one answers my texts or, on one occasion, I got yelled at by my sister for suggesting the escape room a second time because she can't afford the $30 with her hubby out of work and her working full time. I would be willing to pay for her to go out and I also offered some free things (like game night at my house) to do but then she ghosted me again. I am getting tired of being left out, ignored or yelled at for simply making suggestions to bring the sibling's together. I never feel like I am being the asshole, but my family seems to think so. I REALLY want to feel like I am part of the family but I feel like an outsider... I have tried talking to my sister about this, but she suggests she feels like an outsider too because the ONLY reason she gets to hang out with the other siblings is because of her kids. I didn't say it, but she IS invited to do things and is often the first person to know when things are going on. I feel like mentioning this would subject me to ridicule or sweeping aside how I feel because they (all the sibling's and my family) simply don't see how it is true. I don't think they see it.
I am sorry for the long story but I figured a little backstory is necessary in order to get the idea of why I feel like an asshole and if I am actually being an assole. I recently went to England to visit someone I've known online for a decade and it felt weird that I felt more at home and comfortable visiting HIS family I had only just met than I do with mine. This has made me wonder if I should make the effort to tell my family how I feel again about being excluded from things and being treated differently than the rest of them, or leave well-enough alone. I feel like discussing how I feel would, as the history suggests, subject me to ridicule and being called a bitch for feeling the way I do. WIBTAH to try and reconcile, or should I just give up trying because I am just torturing myself with making an effort for little to no positive interactions.
submitted by LauraBeanKiller to AITAH [link] [comments]
I am sorry for the long post. I feel a bit too old (35f) to be hung up on how my family treats me (parents and siblings), but have been feeling the need to bridge a gap caused by years of emotional abuse because, frankly, I am hoping that as adults we can grow past some of the behaviors of the past. I am the youngest of 4 kids with 2 brothers (36m and 38m) and an oldest sister (39f). I have had low contact with my parents and my siblings since I moved out because I have always felt like the "extra" unwanted person in everything.
Growing up, my mother proudly called me the "mistake" child since she didn't want me. She wanted my two older siblings to the point that she stopped taking birth control so she could get pregnant before my dad was ready for kids, but she didn't want any more kids after my two older siblings were born. My dad didn't want my mom to get her tubes tied yet (this was the 80s when a woman needed her husbands' permission). She had my second brother and my dad finally gave her permission to get her tubes tied. When my mom went for her appointment to cut the tubes, she found out she was pregnant again. When she went back to the hospital months later, she hoped for a girl or else she was going to tell the doctors to put me back. She was happy I was, indeed, a girl. I know this story by heart because my mom has been telling it to me my entire life. My sister is the golden child. I am the mistake.
As I got older, I noticed a discrepancy between how my two older siblings were raised and how the two younger siblings were brought up. My two older siblings were taught to drive, driven to their jobs before they got their own cars and had their cars half paid for by my parents. My mom, who did the majority of the parenting as a stay-at-home mother until I was 16 since my dad worked 2nd shift, was frightened when teaching my brother to drive because of his recklessness and refused to teach the younger two siblings to drive. She also didn't drive us to our high school jobs because, even though she was willing to for my older siblings, she was too tired to with the younger two. It was also common for my older siblings to get most of what they wanted if they asked for it, but the two youngers were typically told no. The younger brother was smart enough to go into the military just 2 weeks out of high school. I wasn't thin enough to do that or else I would have as well. I worked a dead-end job unable to save enough money nor find a driving school that could teach me to drive on a irregular schedule for years. I hid in my bedroom away from my family for years because my mom liked to comment on my weight, or my oldest brother liked to have fun of me in cruel ways like locking me in the bathroom while he and his friends, my sister and her friends, and my mother just laughed until I almost broke the door trying to get out. Whenever I made an appearance for short bursts I always regretted it because my family would make snide remarks of how rare it was and how I was disrupting the peace literally by sitting there quietly watching TV fidgeting nervously but sometimes I just needed a break from my room. Once, I asked my oldest brother (the one who played cruel jokes on me earlier in life) that still lived at home if I could be invited to the fishing trips he had with my other sibling without me, but the one time I went he told me I was uninvited after that because, even though I really didn't talk much, I would hum under my breath and it annoyed him. After finally getting a decent paying job with a consistent schedule that enabled me to get driving lessons, I was able to move out just 6 months after getting the new job in 2016. I immediately went low contact with my family, partially because I didn't want to see them and partially because I didn't get invited to things.
As a result of my upbringing, I am introverted with extraversion tendencies. I can be talkative and vibrant person outside of my family especially with those I am comfortable with, but when I am around family I tend to clam up and try to disappear because I feel uncomfortable talking since everything I say is something to be ridiculed. I stopped going on Facebook because I kept seeing pictures of things my sister and brothers do together, such as family cookouts throughout the summer with everyone but me, fishing, hiking, camping and hunting that I also enjoy but am never invited to partake in. The family cookouts are the ones that hurt me the most since it is literally every single person of the family and my siblings say they forget to ask me when I asked why I wasn't invited once I saw them again (I never do it on Facebook because drama is ew). Siblings going ice fishing at the big lake in the town I bought my house, just 5 minutes away when I am not working also hurts. I WAS asked to go camping for the first time this last summer for a weekend, but it turned out that I was only invited to spill gossip about my most recent break up with a boyfriend of 4 years and felt extremely uncomfortable getting into the details of that break up so probably didn't divulge enough information for their satisfaction. It was obvious that my siblings had a routine together for camping and that my presence was bothersome. I tried helping out by making a fire in the morning, which surprised my brother since he usually starts the fire and didn't know I could make one. Then I was called a bitch because I asked my sister's kids if they can do an activity someplace else because the flare thingies were putting out red smoke and I am allergic to red dyes. I was told I could have moved myself instead of asking the kids to go someplace else because it wasn't bothering anyone else. So, after apologizing, I moved to my tent and was called a bitch again because I was not being social and was being too sensitive. I had said maybe 10 sentences the entire weekend and apparently 2 of them were wrong.
I feel the ONLY time my parents or siblings contact me is when they feel obligated like for holidays or when they need something. I usually always oblige in giving things like cash unless I don't have it but the one time I said no because I didn't have time I was called a selfish self absorbed C word. This was shortly after I moved out. My brother (the one who went to the military, but eventually moved into my parents house again) didn't have his own car and needed a ride to work (which is the same place I work). My other brother asked me to give him a ride with less than an hours notice, while I was cooking my lunch and was about to take my shower for the day. Their house is 20 minutes in the opposite direction from work, which would mean I would have had to get there 10 minutes before the call had taken place in order to even consider getting to work on time. I simply could not do it. But since I said no that one time, I have not received any requests for help from anyone in my family. Even when I made suggestions that I was available to bring my mother to the hospital for her heart appointments or that I was available to take care of my sister's kids instead of having my mom watch them after she had had a heart attack. My family don't think I'm reliable because I said no once. My oldest brother, who constantly flakes on my siblings to the point that my sister stopped telling her kids that he suggested doing X thing on Y day because he mostly forgets to do them or triple books himself, is the one who everyone trusts to do things. Even when I'm available.
Because I am feeling an odd sense to become closer to my family in recent years and since I am not invited to things usually, I have been asking my siblings if they want to do stuff with me. I have asked about doing escape rooms together, family card nights and other activities and either no one answers my texts or, on one occasion, I got yelled at by my sister for suggesting the escape room a second time because she can't afford the $30 with her hubby out of work and her working full time. I would be willing to pay for her to go out and I also offered some free things (like game night at my house) to do but then she ghosted me again. I am getting tired of being left out, ignored or yelled at for simply making suggestions to bring the sibling's together. I never feel like I am being the asshole, but my family seems to think so. I REALLY want to feel like I am part of the family but I feel like an outsider... I have tried talking to my sister about this, but she suggests she feels like an outsider too because the ONLY reason she gets to hang out with the other siblings is because of her kids. I didn't say it, but she IS invited to do things and is often the first person to know when things are going on. I feel like mentioning this would subject me to ridicule or sweeping aside how I feel because they (all the sibling's and my family) simply don't see how it is true. I don't think they see it.
I am sorry for the long story but I figured a little backstory is necessary in order to get the idea of why I feel like an asshole and if I am actually being an assole. I recently went to England to visit someone I've known online for a decade and it felt weird that I felt more at home and comfortable visiting HIS family I had only just met than I do with mine. This has made me wonder if I should make the effort to tell my family how I feel again about being excluded from things and being treated differently than the rest of them, or leave well-enough alone. I feel like discussing how I feel would, as the history suggests, subject me to ridicule and being called a bitch for feeling the way I do. WIBTAH to try and reconcile, or should I just give up trying because I am just torturing myself with making an effort for little to no positive interactions.
2023.03.22 08:17 SignedSyledDelivered Ayahuasca was gentle, loving, incredible Shrooms was a wiiiiild, mindbending ride.
A couple months ago, I went on an ayahuasca retreat in South America. The flight tickets were crazy expensive, the retreat was affordable but still pretty pricey. But it was really worth it.
I had a beautiful experience with mother ayahuasca, where I got lost in the beauty of the colourful geometrical and fractal patterns that went on with both eyes closed and eyes opened. Everyone seemed incredibly beautiful to me, radiant, hopeful, wonderful. I wandered (in my mind) into a magical forest that sparkled in green and gold, with actual orbs and sparkles floating gently by. Someone whispered in my ears, "You're always welcome to rest here". I felt an incredible sense of peace and safety, and I felt unconditionally loved and completely accepted, something I had not experienced in real life before. I was so moved I cried.
The tears led to waves of sorrow, as I relived and processed past traumatic memories. I felt so sad, so resentful, and so broken as I wept. But at the same time, I felt loved. I was going through the pain and sorrow of the past from a place of complete acceptance and safety, and it made so much difference in how I re-experienced things. I kept remonstrating with my mother about why she didn't protect me, and realised the resentment did not stem from anger. It stemmed from sadness and a sense of rejection. I just kept crying, until eventually, the sorrow lifted. My heart was light again.
I also couldn’t stop yawning for an hour or so, time didn’t really matter then. I was soooo tired and I yawned so hard, I felt the wind sail right into my soul. Then I understood, from someone, something, somewhere, that I was a leopard in my past life. I was a leopard, who had gone through incredible battles. This leopard spirit just wanted to rest, and that was why I had been so lethargic, nearly every day, for so many years. I wanted my lethargy gone, but that would require waking the leopard up, bringing it to its full intensity.
“Are you sure you want it to awake? Perhaps you are afraid of what would happen when it does.” Someone asked. It was probably me, asking myself, but I can’t remember how the voice sounded in my head.
That’s when I realised that I was holding on, in some measure, to the lethargy. That perhaps, the lethargy was a convenient, familiar, comfortable shelter. I didn’t have to do much, I didn’t have to try. I didn’t have to fail at anything. I didn’t need to put in effort. The thought of the leopard’s spirit awakening, of intensity and passion filling my soul, of going at things at full strength and determination - that scared me. Could I have the energy and resilience to see things through? Did I want to try? Was I afraid of trying? Maybe I’m using my lethargy and depression as an excuse to not try. So that I wouldn’t fail.
I saw my partner as a leopard too. I was worried that we would both do ayahuasca and come out realising our lives were headed in different directions, but to both our relief, we just got this incredibly certain feeling within us, this spiritual confirmation, that we were meant to love each other, to care for one another.
The next ayahuasca ceremony, I was back at that magical forest, but at a different location. I was by a brilliant riverside, with the same green and gold light that permeated everything. Once again, someone told me that I was always welcome here. I nestled down in its mossy banks and watched the river flow.
I saw a bird-human too. The creature was made of muscle and bone, such that its wings were all red and pink, hard muscle and bone. She was majestic. Awe-inspiring. Beautiful. As I stood there in open-mouthed admiration, someone said to me (yes, in my head again), “Do you know what she had to go through to get those wings?” Knowledge just settled within me, that she had to go through incredible trials and tribulations for her wings to have developed.
Then I talked to a tree (the second ceremony was done in the day time). There was a beautiful bamboo grove and it was right before me (this was in real life), and suddenly, I heard this tutting, clicking sound, and I looked around to see where it was coming from. I slowly realised that it was emanating from me. I was making the tuts and clicks with my tongue. The tree responded then, with shushes and flowing sounds of the wind. We chatted back and forth, conveying emotions and concepts without words.
I asked what my purpose was, yet again. This time, someone answered, from deep within a dark forest (I think it was just a forest in the night time?), saying, “Come find us…”
On San Pedro, I just felt a tonne of rage, then anxiety. It didn’t help that one of the ceremonies was held in a sweat lodge. But I figured it was something I needed to feel, perhaps. I also had two clear thoughts while in there. The first was - I need to set boundaries, learn to confront and assert myself. If I don’t, I’m making the choice to continue to have others foist their crap upon me, and I’m the one who’s choosing not to remove myself from the situation. The second thought was short but very significant. It was that I can’t psychedelic my negativity away.
Then, in the new year, my partner and I decided to head to a nearby country to do some shrooms. And explore, of course. The whole trip cost us so much less.
It was INCREDIBLE. It was so intense. We did Penis Envy shrooms, and boy, those were absolute kickers in the brain.
The moment the shrooms kicked in, I noticed something wonderful. What first trickled in was a very very familiar sense of being in a special place full of mystical spirituality. It was the same sense that I felt while on ayahuasca. I felt like I had gone back to the same place where I had been while on ayahuasca, whatever realm it was.
“I’m back,” was my first thought.
The geometry, colours and fractals appeared too, and I began to see sparkles shimmering around the surfaces of everything.
Then I felt so much sadness. The sorrow almost suffocated me. It was so intense, so strong, so heavy, I felt like I would never get through it in my lifetime. That I would weep for the rest of my life. It was way more intense than when I was on ayahuasca. I cried for hours, it felt like. I was so sad about not just my life being meaningless, that life didn’t have a purpose, but also, I was heartbroken about how shitty the world was. The sad, terrible things that happened and keep happening in the world. I was torn apart by all the pain and suffering that everyone had to experience, and had experienced. I could barely catch my breath, I was crying so hard, crumpled on the floor.
Then the sorrow passed. And I lost track of who I was. I no longer knew who I was. I kept seeing my partner’s face, and kept thinking, I must be him. I am him. Then thinking, wait a minute, I’m a girl. I seem to remember I’m a girl. But am I? Who was I? I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember my name.
Then it ceased to matter. I went through so many crazy swirls of visions and experiences that it would take forever to tell. But the main gist was that I began to travel through different realms and universes. I saw a lady made of lines and shapes, and we hung out together in her garden, filled with flowers made similarly of just geometric shapes and lines. There, I found this lighthearted peace and sense of acceptance. I saw a guy with a face shaped like a yellow box, covered all over with eyes, so many of them. He looked at me with a smiling curiosity, we acknowledged each other’s presence, and we parted ways.
Most memorable of all, I went to this place where I was in the forest of the universe. In it, I could see across time, across places. There was a hauntingly beautiful music, which I instinctively understood to be the music of the universe. I sang along with it, and found that I could reach across time, bring forward different time periods to my grasp by singing different tunes. It was beautiful. I felt so incredibly potent, yet very very relaxed.
At some point, I felt a holy, divine light shining on my face. I’ve never felt that before, that sense of being divine and in the presence of something divine. I felt someone with a visage akin to Zeus smiling down at me, and he was a father-figure of sorts. I don’t really have a religion, and if I had to choose one, it’d be Buddhism, so I don’t really know why that visage appeared.
When I looked at my partner, I felt this unconditional love for him. I knew, suddenly, without a doubt, that he was the one I was destined for, and I knew that no matter what the cost, whatever it took, that I had to protect him, to keep him safe, and that I would always love him.
He later shared his experience with me, which was mindblowing, but much too long to write about here. A big thing he shared was that he saw through all of existence, time, space, possibilities, and at the end of everything, he saw me. And he felt an incredible sense of love for me.
There were terrifying moments (think he took a little too much), and there were moments when I thought we had ruined our lives with this trip, but once he gave into whatever was happening, stopped fighting, he was able to let go, experience immense catharsis.
For me, I realised the biggest message I could have got from psychedelics, was that I couldn’t find a purpose, a meaning, a direction, not when I haven’t even healed from my past hurts. I went to therapy, and after just 4 sessions, I’ve been feeling so much better, with so much more energy to explore different things I’d like to do. I’m still a lot more lethargic than most people I know, but I can now leave the bedroom not just for work, but also for things like doing up the house, going on a date night, things like that. I even got the energy to start my little hobbies again.
So suffice it to say that I’m a pretty big fan of psychedelics. And I’d recommend it to anyone, unless they have certain mental health conditions (e.g. psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar, etc.). And as long as they do it responsibly (i.e. not take large doses they can’t handle, not do it just to party, not take risks while high). Like seriously. The dosage thing, when my partner took a little too much, there were times where I seriously thought our lives were over and we were either going to end up dead, or end up arrested. It was extremely terrifying. Don’t do large doses, especially not when you’re starting off. Just don’t do it.
That aside, those were my experiences with psychedelics, just felt like sharing them today.
submitted by SignedSyledDelivered to Psychonaut [link] [comments]
I had a beautiful experience with mother ayahuasca, where I got lost in the beauty of the colourful geometrical and fractal patterns that went on with both eyes closed and eyes opened. Everyone seemed incredibly beautiful to me, radiant, hopeful, wonderful. I wandered (in my mind) into a magical forest that sparkled in green and gold, with actual orbs and sparkles floating gently by. Someone whispered in my ears, "You're always welcome to rest here". I felt an incredible sense of peace and safety, and I felt unconditionally loved and completely accepted, something I had not experienced in real life before. I was so moved I cried.
The tears led to waves of sorrow, as I relived and processed past traumatic memories. I felt so sad, so resentful, and so broken as I wept. But at the same time, I felt loved. I was going through the pain and sorrow of the past from a place of complete acceptance and safety, and it made so much difference in how I re-experienced things. I kept remonstrating with my mother about why she didn't protect me, and realised the resentment did not stem from anger. It stemmed from sadness and a sense of rejection. I just kept crying, until eventually, the sorrow lifted. My heart was light again.
I also couldn’t stop yawning for an hour or so, time didn’t really matter then. I was soooo tired and I yawned so hard, I felt the wind sail right into my soul. Then I understood, from someone, something, somewhere, that I was a leopard in my past life. I was a leopard, who had gone through incredible battles. This leopard spirit just wanted to rest, and that was why I had been so lethargic, nearly every day, for so many years. I wanted my lethargy gone, but that would require waking the leopard up, bringing it to its full intensity.
“Are you sure you want it to awake? Perhaps you are afraid of what would happen when it does.” Someone asked. It was probably me, asking myself, but I can’t remember how the voice sounded in my head.
That’s when I realised that I was holding on, in some measure, to the lethargy. That perhaps, the lethargy was a convenient, familiar, comfortable shelter. I didn’t have to do much, I didn’t have to try. I didn’t have to fail at anything. I didn’t need to put in effort. The thought of the leopard’s spirit awakening, of intensity and passion filling my soul, of going at things at full strength and determination - that scared me. Could I have the energy and resilience to see things through? Did I want to try? Was I afraid of trying? Maybe I’m using my lethargy and depression as an excuse to not try. So that I wouldn’t fail.
I saw my partner as a leopard too. I was worried that we would both do ayahuasca and come out realising our lives were headed in different directions, but to both our relief, we just got this incredibly certain feeling within us, this spiritual confirmation, that we were meant to love each other, to care for one another.
The next ayahuasca ceremony, I was back at that magical forest, but at a different location. I was by a brilliant riverside, with the same green and gold light that permeated everything. Once again, someone told me that I was always welcome here. I nestled down in its mossy banks and watched the river flow.
I saw a bird-human too. The creature was made of muscle and bone, such that its wings were all red and pink, hard muscle and bone. She was majestic. Awe-inspiring. Beautiful. As I stood there in open-mouthed admiration, someone said to me (yes, in my head again), “Do you know what she had to go through to get those wings?” Knowledge just settled within me, that she had to go through incredible trials and tribulations for her wings to have developed.
Then I talked to a tree (the second ceremony was done in the day time). There was a beautiful bamboo grove and it was right before me (this was in real life), and suddenly, I heard this tutting, clicking sound, and I looked around to see where it was coming from. I slowly realised that it was emanating from me. I was making the tuts and clicks with my tongue. The tree responded then, with shushes and flowing sounds of the wind. We chatted back and forth, conveying emotions and concepts without words.
I asked what my purpose was, yet again. This time, someone answered, from deep within a dark forest (I think it was just a forest in the night time?), saying, “Come find us…”
On San Pedro, I just felt a tonne of rage, then anxiety. It didn’t help that one of the ceremonies was held in a sweat lodge. But I figured it was something I needed to feel, perhaps. I also had two clear thoughts while in there. The first was - I need to set boundaries, learn to confront and assert myself. If I don’t, I’m making the choice to continue to have others foist their crap upon me, and I’m the one who’s choosing not to remove myself from the situation. The second thought was short but very significant. It was that I can’t psychedelic my negativity away.
Then, in the new year, my partner and I decided to head to a nearby country to do some shrooms. And explore, of course. The whole trip cost us so much less.
It was INCREDIBLE. It was so intense. We did Penis Envy shrooms, and boy, those were absolute kickers in the brain.
The moment the shrooms kicked in, I noticed something wonderful. What first trickled in was a very very familiar sense of being in a special place full of mystical spirituality. It was the same sense that I felt while on ayahuasca. I felt like I had gone back to the same place where I had been while on ayahuasca, whatever realm it was.
“I’m back,” was my first thought.
The geometry, colours and fractals appeared too, and I began to see sparkles shimmering around the surfaces of everything.
Then I felt so much sadness. The sorrow almost suffocated me. It was so intense, so strong, so heavy, I felt like I would never get through it in my lifetime. That I would weep for the rest of my life. It was way more intense than when I was on ayahuasca. I cried for hours, it felt like. I was so sad about not just my life being meaningless, that life didn’t have a purpose, but also, I was heartbroken about how shitty the world was. The sad, terrible things that happened and keep happening in the world. I was torn apart by all the pain and suffering that everyone had to experience, and had experienced. I could barely catch my breath, I was crying so hard, crumpled on the floor.
Then the sorrow passed. And I lost track of who I was. I no longer knew who I was. I kept seeing my partner’s face, and kept thinking, I must be him. I am him. Then thinking, wait a minute, I’m a girl. I seem to remember I’m a girl. But am I? Who was I? I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember my name.
Then it ceased to matter. I went through so many crazy swirls of visions and experiences that it would take forever to tell. But the main gist was that I began to travel through different realms and universes. I saw a lady made of lines and shapes, and we hung out together in her garden, filled with flowers made similarly of just geometric shapes and lines. There, I found this lighthearted peace and sense of acceptance. I saw a guy with a face shaped like a yellow box, covered all over with eyes, so many of them. He looked at me with a smiling curiosity, we acknowledged each other’s presence, and we parted ways.
Most memorable of all, I went to this place where I was in the forest of the universe. In it, I could see across time, across places. There was a hauntingly beautiful music, which I instinctively understood to be the music of the universe. I sang along with it, and found that I could reach across time, bring forward different time periods to my grasp by singing different tunes. It was beautiful. I felt so incredibly potent, yet very very relaxed.
At some point, I felt a holy, divine light shining on my face. I’ve never felt that before, that sense of being divine and in the presence of something divine. I felt someone with a visage akin to Zeus smiling down at me, and he was a father-figure of sorts. I don’t really have a religion, and if I had to choose one, it’d be Buddhism, so I don’t really know why that visage appeared.
When I looked at my partner, I felt this unconditional love for him. I knew, suddenly, without a doubt, that he was the one I was destined for, and I knew that no matter what the cost, whatever it took, that I had to protect him, to keep him safe, and that I would always love him.
He later shared his experience with me, which was mindblowing, but much too long to write about here. A big thing he shared was that he saw through all of existence, time, space, possibilities, and at the end of everything, he saw me. And he felt an incredible sense of love for me.
There were terrifying moments (think he took a little too much), and there were moments when I thought we had ruined our lives with this trip, but once he gave into whatever was happening, stopped fighting, he was able to let go, experience immense catharsis.
For me, I realised the biggest message I could have got from psychedelics, was that I couldn’t find a purpose, a meaning, a direction, not when I haven’t even healed from my past hurts. I went to therapy, and after just 4 sessions, I’ve been feeling so much better, with so much more energy to explore different things I’d like to do. I’m still a lot more lethargic than most people I know, but I can now leave the bedroom not just for work, but also for things like doing up the house, going on a date night, things like that. I even got the energy to start my little hobbies again.
So suffice it to say that I’m a pretty big fan of psychedelics. And I’d recommend it to anyone, unless they have certain mental health conditions (e.g. psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar, etc.). And as long as they do it responsibly (i.e. not take large doses they can’t handle, not do it just to party, not take risks while high). Like seriously. The dosage thing, when my partner took a little too much, there were times where I seriously thought our lives were over and we were either going to end up dead, or end up arrested. It was extremely terrifying. Don’t do large doses, especially not when you’re starting off. Just don’t do it.
That aside, those were my experiences with psychedelics, just felt like sharing them today.
2023.03.22 08:16 ddregpharma Enhance Your Regulatory Compliance Management with Vitalic
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2023.03.22 08:16 StanleyTheComputer Roast my build plan
If you actually want to roast it so be it but im mostly looking for help. So I've been planning out my PC build and an upgrade from my 1060 since the start of the year, its my first time looking into computer components since 2017, would appreciate any advice. The plan currently looks like this:
GPU: XFX 7900xt
CPU: R7 7700x
RAM: Corsair 32gb 6000mhz C36
PSU: EVGA supernova 1000 GT
Mobo: ASUS TUF Gaming B650
Cooler: Arctic Liquid Freezer 2
PC Case: Hyte Y40
NVME: Crucial P3 plus 2tb
Some things to note: - Power supply is overkill at 1000w but its relatively cheap and seems like a decent enough PSU at €160 - I'm fluctuating between 3 cases, the Hyte Y40, NZXT H7 flow and the Fractal North, which would be my first pick but it isn't in stock anywhere - I'm aware the 7800x3d is coming next month which might be worth the upgrade from a 7700x but I expect that thing to sell out immediately so I'm not sure if it's worth delaying the build - Coming from a ryzen 1600 and having cheaped out on a mobo my upgrade path was cut short as the motherboard support was cut fairly quickly, is this something I should worry about with the latest ryzen CPUs?
submitted by StanleyTheComputer to PcBuild [link] [comments]
GPU: XFX 7900xt
CPU: R7 7700x
RAM: Corsair 32gb 6000mhz C36
PSU: EVGA supernova 1000 GT
Mobo: ASUS TUF Gaming B650
Cooler: Arctic Liquid Freezer 2
PC Case: Hyte Y40
NVME: Crucial P3 plus 2tb
Some things to note: - Power supply is overkill at 1000w but its relatively cheap and seems like a decent enough PSU at €160 - I'm fluctuating between 3 cases, the Hyte Y40, NZXT H7 flow and the Fractal North, which would be my first pick but it isn't in stock anywhere - I'm aware the 7800x3d is coming next month which might be worth the upgrade from a 7700x but I expect that thing to sell out immediately so I'm not sure if it's worth delaying the build - Coming from a ryzen 1600 and having cheaped out on a mobo my upgrade path was cut short as the motherboard support was cut fairly quickly, is this something I should worry about with the latest ryzen CPUs?
2023.03.22 08:16 Throwaway041897 I’m not excited for Season 4. *S3 spoilers*
I just finished S3 and, to say I’m disappointed in where this show is going is an understatement. S1 was in OBX, that makes sense. S2 is in the Caribbean, I still thought that was cool and fun. S3 in South America, also cool.
But season 4? Being about Edward Teach? Lol it’s gonna be based in North Carolina…. Again. Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of history there but with how treasure hungry this town is, it’s hard to believe they’d have another sunken treasure right in their backyard.
I would have liked S4 to be either 1) based in the mountains/desert, or 2) based in another country, like Asia or Japan. Now it just seems like this is a low budget film milking the setting beyond its worth.
Also: Big John is terrible and I’m glad he died.
submitted by Throwaway041897 to OuterBanksNetflix [link] [comments]
But season 4? Being about Edward Teach? Lol it’s gonna be based in North Carolina…. Again. Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of history there but with how treasure hungry this town is, it’s hard to believe they’d have another sunken treasure right in their backyard.
I would have liked S4 to be either 1) based in the mountains/desert, or 2) based in another country, like Asia or Japan. Now it just seems like this is a low budget film milking the setting beyond its worth.
Also: Big John is terrible and I’m glad he died.
2023.03.22 08:15 Throwaway131107 AITA for making my mom to choose between me or her other daughter?
Throwaway/
I (17F) have a stepsister, Stephanie (15F)
Stephanie and I don't get along. We were fine when she was younger, but when she turned 12, she was diagnosed with BPD, and over lockdown and growing up, she's gotten much worse.
When I turned 15, I started working and I'm saving for college. I use this money mostly to buy groceries for the household, buy hygiene, and pay for my phone bills.
Stephanie is honestly a horrible girl, my parents coddle her like crazy. Since she was diagnosed, they've been spoiling her, and acting like it's a deadly disease. This enabled her behavior, and over the past 3 years, she just built up this horrible ego. I can't post what she's done, but let's say it's just enough to make me want to leave.
Yesterday was my final straw. On Sunday, I went out, and splurged on myself, which was rare. I was raised knowing the struggles of money, and it caused me to have a fear of spending it. But I got a small bonus and decided to buy myself makeup, a skincare kit, and a few cute dresses.
Stephanie saw my new things and asked if she could have, not borrow, the Fenty lipglosses I just bought and my skincare kit. I told her no.
Now she's destroyed my things in the past, so I have a safe I keep my possessions in, and the key is hidden in my room. I had plans to go out with my girlfriend and a few friends, so I got ready and left after locking up my things.
Turns out while I was gone, Stephanie threw a huge fit and was crying to my mom about how mean I was. My mom said she just wanted to give Stephanie one lipgloss, so she helped look for the key in my room, and when she found it, gave it to her.
When I came home, everything was ruined. My dresses were covered in makeup and face serums, and my other products were either broken, emptied, or ruined. I cried because I didn't even have them for 12 hours, and $300 worth of items were destroyed.
My mom got upset with me for being 'materialistic' and 'not understanding' Stephanie's condition. I will admit, I feel bad for what I said next. I said " I don't care how bipolar she is! She's not dying or something! Just because she's messed up in her head doesn't give her a free pass to be a bitch when you don't hand her everything!" The argument escalated, and I packed and spent the night at my girlfriend's house.
My mom called this morning, saying she was sorry and that I needed to understand Stephanie more. At this point, I was done and told her to either Stephanie goes or me. By go, I don't mean into an orphanage, I mean for her to go live with her mom, who lives a 10-minute drive away. My mom cried, asking me why I was being so cruel and heartless to 'that poor girl'. I told her her poor girl is a racist bitch and hung up.
Now my phone is blowing up, with texts and calls from Stephanie's family, calling me all sorts of slurs and names. They all think I'm an asshole, but my great-grandparents, girlfriend, and friends say I'm not.
submitted by Throwaway131107 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
I (17F) have a stepsister, Stephanie (15F)
Stephanie and I don't get along. We were fine when she was younger, but when she turned 12, she was diagnosed with BPD, and over lockdown and growing up, she's gotten much worse.
When I turned 15, I started working and I'm saving for college. I use this money mostly to buy groceries for the household, buy hygiene, and pay for my phone bills.
Stephanie is honestly a horrible girl, my parents coddle her like crazy. Since she was diagnosed, they've been spoiling her, and acting like it's a deadly disease. This enabled her behavior, and over the past 3 years, she just built up this horrible ego. I can't post what she's done, but let's say it's just enough to make me want to leave.
Yesterday was my final straw. On Sunday, I went out, and splurged on myself, which was rare. I was raised knowing the struggles of money, and it caused me to have a fear of spending it. But I got a small bonus and decided to buy myself makeup, a skincare kit, and a few cute dresses.
Stephanie saw my new things and asked if she could have, not borrow, the Fenty lipglosses I just bought and my skincare kit. I told her no.
Now she's destroyed my things in the past, so I have a safe I keep my possessions in, and the key is hidden in my room. I had plans to go out with my girlfriend and a few friends, so I got ready and left after locking up my things.
Turns out while I was gone, Stephanie threw a huge fit and was crying to my mom about how mean I was. My mom said she just wanted to give Stephanie one lipgloss, so she helped look for the key in my room, and when she found it, gave it to her.
When I came home, everything was ruined. My dresses were covered in makeup and face serums, and my other products were either broken, emptied, or ruined. I cried because I didn't even have them for 12 hours, and $300 worth of items were destroyed.
My mom got upset with me for being 'materialistic' and 'not understanding' Stephanie's condition. I will admit, I feel bad for what I said next. I said " I don't care how bipolar she is! She's not dying or something! Just because she's messed up in her head doesn't give her a free pass to be a bitch when you don't hand her everything!" The argument escalated, and I packed and spent the night at my girlfriend's house.
My mom called this morning, saying she was sorry and that I needed to understand Stephanie more. At this point, I was done and told her to either Stephanie goes or me. By go, I don't mean into an orphanage, I mean for her to go live with her mom, who lives a 10-minute drive away. My mom cried, asking me why I was being so cruel and heartless to 'that poor girl'. I told her her poor girl is a racist bitch and hung up.
Now my phone is blowing up, with texts and calls from Stephanie's family, calling me all sorts of slurs and names. They all think I'm an asshole, but my great-grandparents, girlfriend, and friends say I'm not.
2023.03.22 08:13 Starindia05 junction box wholesaler
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When you choose Star India Electricals for your junction box needs, you can trust that you are receiving a product that has been designed and manufactured to the highest standards of quality and reliability. Our products are designed to protect your electrical wires, cables, and other components and ensure that they are functioning safely and efficiently. Whether you are an experienced electrician or a homeowner looking to upgrade your electrical system, we are confident that you will find the perfect junction box solution in our range of products.
submitted by Starindia05 to u/Starindia05 [link] [comments]
As a trusted provider of affordable electrical boxes, accessories, and industrial enclosures, Star India Electricals has earned a reputation as the leading junction box wholesaler in India. Our commitment to using only top-quality materials and components in the manufacturing process ensures that our products meet or exceed industry standards for safety and performance. Our dedicated sales team works tirelessly to meet the needs of customers around the world and provide outstanding service with every order. We are the best junction box manufacturers in india.
When you choose Star India Electricals for your junction box needs, you can trust that you are receiving a product that has been designed and manufactured to the highest standards of quality and reliability. Our products are designed to protect your electrical wires, cables, and other components and ensure that they are functioning safely and efficiently. Whether you are an experienced electrician or a homeowner looking to upgrade your electrical system, we are confident that you will find the perfect junction box solution in our range of products.
2023.03.22 08:13 user18382619 How do I explain professionally that I can’t live with my parents?
(TW- Self Harm) Hey guys, I’m 20yrs old from Aus and I’m currently trying to claim centrelink. I was working but due to mental health/medical conditions I can no longer work and afford rent. I need to explain why I am unable to live at home with my parents and i’m struggling to word it professionally. It’s not as though my parents are abusive, they aren’t bad people I just cannot be there. Even when I visit for a little bit I get overwhelmed and need to leave. Being in their house brings up triggering memories from my teen years which I work really hard to forget. The atmosphere is horrible as there is heaps of tension between my siblings and my dad & stepmum (I think they are doing to break up and my parents divorce already gave me enough trauma). My stepbrother whom I’m not comfortable with due to some incidents that occurred a few years back is now living there and there’s next to no space or privacy (especially because they are doing renovations and there’s only one shower). The house used to be my step-families and it’s cluttered and messy and makes me feel dirty constantly. It really triggers my OCD. I’ve struggled for years with self-harm addiction and i’m scared moving back their with make me relapse. I haven’t lived with my mum for 8 years as living there caused me so much anxiety and we would constantly fight so that’s not an option. Anyway, you get the general idea. Anyway I can professionally shorten that down?
submitted by user18382619 to Advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.22 08:13 Blackdesu Mice
Had a dream I was in my nans house with loads of people but there were more rooms and staircases. I went into the basement looking for a bottle of coke. Couldn't find the coke and there were dozens of mice on the floor running around not noticing I was there. I hoped they made it put okay. My cat ran down the stairs and toward the mice but didn't kill them. I continued looking for my drink.
Woke up went back to sleep and I was back in the basement with the mice but was sitting crouched on a box watching them.
Google gives 100 interpretations for mice in a basement what do you guys think.
submitted by Blackdesu to DreamInterpretation [link] [comments]
Woke up went back to sleep and I was back in the basement with the mice but was sitting crouched on a box watching them.
Google gives 100 interpretations for mice in a basement what do you guys think.
2023.03.22 08:12 JackPower32 I am a 20yr old depressed freeloader and I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
I’ve been depressed and freeloading for years now since graduation(2020). I dont leave the house, don’t talk to my friends, no job, no college, barely care about my hygiene, and I barely change clothes. Even though I want to make some decisions myself I can’t (rightfully so) because I don’t contribute at all. But since I don’t really care about life I don’t see myself ever changing for the better. It’s not fair to my mom at all but I’m tired of being here. I can’t even commit suicide because then everybody else will be sad, and im a good person so unfortunately I have to care. I feel like I literally can’t do anything at all, not suicide, not improvement, nothing. Like I’m trapped in a box. I’m just taking up space here and I’m not making anything better for anyone and I don’t see myself changing so there’s literally no point in me existing. I hate being here but I’ll never be able to go through with suicide, so I have 0 options. I’m just miserable. What am I possibly supposed do.
submitted by JackPower32 to offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.03.22 08:12 DudeWithKeyboard How much is too much
To preface I work overnight at a gym. I see more than enough girls that I could interact with but for professionality I just don't most of the time. It always feels awkward and most girls already feel uncomfortable at the gym I'd rather not make the first encounter every time they enter (me) to feel awkward. So that said I don't flirt or do anything more than I would do with any other person.
That said I recently trimmed up the whole head piece and I've been working out and eating a lot better. Honestly probably look the best I have in 5 years (I'm 31m). Anyway I asked this girl how to pronounce her name because it never came up and I like to greet people by name and wanted to make sure to say it right. Not sharing the name for privacy but more than a few people agreed they would have guessed the wrong pronunciation the first time around. So I ask and she gets red in the face and tells me and follows with 'its a stupid name'. I replied 'No, no, I think it's really cute'. Explained I just wanted to make sure I knew how to pronounce it and said our quick goodbyes and she left. I could tell she was red in the face over it. Anyway me and my co worker chatted about how pretty she was (female coworker my age) I jokingly mentioned I should get her number.
Next day I'm sitting at my house and I get a message from this girl randomly to the extent 'f 'Hey, I wanted to say your new haircut looks great but I'm an awkward bean' and I reciprocated with something like 'Well thanks, I kinda like everything you got going on but I try to behave when I'm at work. That made my day :)' We chatted back and forth a little bit for a day or two and I offered a painting date (I gathered she likes to paint and I have an art degree so I thought it would be perfect). She said it sounded like a good time and when I got to picking a time she let me know she is very busy. Like 3 jobs doesn't text back for days busy. When she does get back it is always very nice and genuine but it feels like ages between.
To get to the question, how often should I be reaching out? Like I'm willing to wait (I work a lot too) but I also don't find it ever that hard to answer a message or two here and there to keep the convo going but I get the vibe that I'm going to pester and fizzle it out. Should I even be poking at the conversation if I haven't heard back in a few days. I've done that a time or two and I always get back a a small sorry about work or being busy and I get it but sometimes I wonder is this just a nice way of playing me off. I don't know. The girl is beyond cute and has a super attractive attitude and personality to go with. I'm just super interested I guess and maybe a bit impatient.
I am beyond out of the dating game, have been for a long time to get myself together and I finally feel pretty good about getting back out there so sorry if it feels like I'm a lost middle aged man, I'm just very far out of the 'game' and everything seems to be so touchy these days.
Thanks for any thoughts, it all will surely help!
submitted by DudeWithKeyboard to dating [link] [comments]
That said I recently trimmed up the whole head piece and I've been working out and eating a lot better. Honestly probably look the best I have in 5 years (I'm 31m). Anyway I asked this girl how to pronounce her name because it never came up and I like to greet people by name and wanted to make sure to say it right. Not sharing the name for privacy but more than a few people agreed they would have guessed the wrong pronunciation the first time around. So I ask and she gets red in the face and tells me and follows with 'its a stupid name'. I replied 'No, no, I think it's really cute'. Explained I just wanted to make sure I knew how to pronounce it and said our quick goodbyes and she left. I could tell she was red in the face over it. Anyway me and my co worker chatted about how pretty she was (female coworker my age) I jokingly mentioned I should get her number.
Next day I'm sitting at my house and I get a message from this girl randomly to the extent 'f 'Hey, I wanted to say your new haircut looks great but I'm an awkward bean' and I reciprocated with something like 'Well thanks, I kinda like everything you got going on but I try to behave when I'm at work. That made my day :)' We chatted back and forth a little bit for a day or two and I offered a painting date (I gathered she likes to paint and I have an art degree so I thought it would be perfect). She said it sounded like a good time and when I got to picking a time she let me know she is very busy. Like 3 jobs doesn't text back for days busy. When she does get back it is always very nice and genuine but it feels like ages between.
To get to the question, how often should I be reaching out? Like I'm willing to wait (I work a lot too) but I also don't find it ever that hard to answer a message or two here and there to keep the convo going but I get the vibe that I'm going to pester and fizzle it out. Should I even be poking at the conversation if I haven't heard back in a few days. I've done that a time or two and I always get back a a small sorry about work or being busy and I get it but sometimes I wonder is this just a nice way of playing me off. I don't know. The girl is beyond cute and has a super attractive attitude and personality to go with. I'm just super interested I guess and maybe a bit impatient.
I am beyond out of the dating game, have been for a long time to get myself together and I finally feel pretty good about getting back out there so sorry if it feels like I'm a lost middle aged man, I'm just very far out of the 'game' and everything seems to be so touchy these days.
Thanks for any thoughts, it all will surely help!
2023.03.22 08:12 Over-Midnight1206 Tip: Do not change POI mid drop just because there are multiple teams, commit
Changing poi mid drop to land somewhere else is one of the worst ways the start a game. One reason is you will absolutely get caught in the open if u land on a small house that doesn’t have enough resources to support a full squad. This means u will have to rotate to another building or poi but by then that poi team will be fully kitted and ur squad will be wiped. I find it interesting that most players that change their poi mid drop avoid all fights throughout the game. You won’t get better that way. U have to commit to a poi before u drop so u don’t screw up ur team.
submitted by Over-Midnight1206 to apexuniversity [link] [comments]
2023.03.22 08:11 No_Knowledge_3488 i wish i was born in another life
i think i’m reaching my limit.
my mother doesn’t love me unconditionally like she loves my father, practically worships the men in her life because she’s so fucking stupid to stand up on her two little feet for once. she’ll end up killing herself for him and i will just have to watch it happen, hating myself for loving her unconditionally despite how much she hates me. hates my body, hates my personality, hates my happiness and hates my depression. hates all of me, in ways that i never thought a parent could hate their child. a men-over-pride kind of woman, the kind that will have nothing to show for except an old wedding band and belly scars. i hate my father. i hate that he’s the pinnacle of man, that he believes himself to be above god’s words and yet he’s reaping what he sowed. i hate my parents for beating me as a child because they didn’t know any better as immigrants, i hate my parents for not being better parents, i hate my parents for the fact that they will choose each other and any of my other siblings over me. i hate that i will never be their first choice and somehow i’m supposed to be fine with it. i hate my life. i don’t perform well academically because of some adhd, but yet i still want to be a teacher. i wanted to publish a book at one point.
yet i’m hopeless. i hate my life. i want to die because i’m unloved by the people who should’ve loved me more than anything in the world and yet they hate me. my father’s perverted and conservative views hate me, hate me for being a daughter instead of a son, hates me because i refuse to bear a child when my own parents couldn’t even love their own. i hate being an american child, seeing the drastic difference between parents and seeing just how much family love is so genuine and yet there is no warm in my home. there is no love. i’m a college drop-out, struggling to find a job, struggling to learn out to drive, struggling to find a way to live and maybe i’m just a spoiled brat. i know my parents feed me, keep my head out of the rain, will keep the house warm when it is cold. but love is not a requirement and they will never show me that. why cant i have one thing?
i wish i was born in a different life. where my mom didn’t insist that starving me was right, where she could think with a mind pure of her husband’s influence and pure devotion to men, where she could love me with eyes that didn’t despise me. i wish i had a dad that loved me, that stayed for me even if he had to work. that didn’t now try and form a relationship now that he’s old and dying, that he could put down his views once and fucking see me. i wish i was a better older sister, who could shield my sister from anything and be the best role model in the world. yet i’m fucking miserable. i’m depressed and i’m clutching this bottle of tylenol, crying through grit teeth because i don’t want to live anymore. i don’t want to live this life. i would rather die than live this life.
i am so exhausted.
submitted by No_Knowledge_3488 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
my mother doesn’t love me unconditionally like she loves my father, practically worships the men in her life because she’s so fucking stupid to stand up on her two little feet for once. she’ll end up killing herself for him and i will just have to watch it happen, hating myself for loving her unconditionally despite how much she hates me. hates my body, hates my personality, hates my happiness and hates my depression. hates all of me, in ways that i never thought a parent could hate their child. a men-over-pride kind of woman, the kind that will have nothing to show for except an old wedding band and belly scars. i hate my father. i hate that he’s the pinnacle of man, that he believes himself to be above god’s words and yet he’s reaping what he sowed. i hate my parents for beating me as a child because they didn’t know any better as immigrants, i hate my parents for not being better parents, i hate my parents for the fact that they will choose each other and any of my other siblings over me. i hate that i will never be their first choice and somehow i’m supposed to be fine with it. i hate my life. i don’t perform well academically because of some adhd, but yet i still want to be a teacher. i wanted to publish a book at one point.
yet i’m hopeless. i hate my life. i want to die because i’m unloved by the people who should’ve loved me more than anything in the world and yet they hate me. my father’s perverted and conservative views hate me, hate me for being a daughter instead of a son, hates me because i refuse to bear a child when my own parents couldn’t even love their own. i hate being an american child, seeing the drastic difference between parents and seeing just how much family love is so genuine and yet there is no warm in my home. there is no love. i’m a college drop-out, struggling to find a job, struggling to learn out to drive, struggling to find a way to live and maybe i’m just a spoiled brat. i know my parents feed me, keep my head out of the rain, will keep the house warm when it is cold. but love is not a requirement and they will never show me that. why cant i have one thing?
i wish i was born in a different life. where my mom didn’t insist that starving me was right, where she could think with a mind pure of her husband’s influence and pure devotion to men, where she could love me with eyes that didn’t despise me. i wish i had a dad that loved me, that stayed for me even if he had to work. that didn’t now try and form a relationship now that he’s old and dying, that he could put down his views once and fucking see me. i wish i was a better older sister, who could shield my sister from anything and be the best role model in the world. yet i’m fucking miserable. i’m depressed and i’m clutching this bottle of tylenol, crying through grit teeth because i don’t want to live anymore. i don’t want to live this life. i would rather die than live this life.
i am so exhausted.
2023.03.22 08:11 Nulstinia I am experiencing a very strange FPS bug on my modded playthrough
So when I play fallout new vegas, I have a pretty stable 60 FPS. When I go into an interior, regardless if it is populated or not, big or small, my FPS drops down to 30.
However, if I engage in combat, then it goes right back to 60. Once combat ends, then it's straight back to 30. Not a single mod I have affects the interior of buildings.
Has this happened to anyone else?
FalloutNV.esm
DeadMoney.esm
HonestHearts.esm
OldWorldBlues.esm
LonesomeRoad.esm
GunRunnersArsenal.esm
ClassicPack.esm
MercenaryPack.esm
TribalPack.esm
CaravanPack.esm
Th3OverseerCore.esm
Sortomatic.esm
Tales from the Burning Sands.esm
DesertedRadioStationCouriersHome.esm
drgNV - Melissa Companion.esm
KhanInitiation.esp
Tammer's NIF-Bashed Weapons Mega-Pack.esm
FNV Vlad's Weapon Depot.esp
SomeguySeries.esm
FNV Dr. Quarton's Laboratory.esp
outsidebets_meyersfix.esp
outsidebets.esp
Eliza.esp
TfaT2.esp
CNR_Beta.esp
DeanDominoFollower.esp
DepthsOfDepravity.esp
Thunderchild V2.esp
TrooperOverhaul-Dragbody.esp
Casino Crowds.esp
Headhunting.esp
TheHighDesert.esp
Pimphousev1_01.esp
PowderGangerImprovement.esp
NewVegasBounties.esp
The Law Won.esp
TheInheritance.esp
1nivVSLArmors.esp
Russell.esp
NewVegasKiller.esp
NorthRoad.esp
Brotherhood and House Alliance.esp
Armored Suit.esp
UnlimitedCompanions.esp
DeanTurnaround.esp
NCRTrooperOverhaul.esp
bzArmour.esp
Integration - Couriers Stash.esp
submitted by Nulstinia to Fallout [link] [comments]
However, if I engage in combat, then it goes right back to 60. Once combat ends, then it's straight back to 30. Not a single mod I have affects the interior of buildings.
Has this happened to anyone else?
FalloutNV.esm
DeadMoney.esm
HonestHearts.esm
OldWorldBlues.esm
LonesomeRoad.esm
GunRunnersArsenal.esm
ClassicPack.esm
MercenaryPack.esm
TribalPack.esm
CaravanPack.esm
Th3OverseerCore.esm
Sortomatic.esm
Tales from the Burning Sands.esm
DesertedRadioStationCouriersHome.esm
drgNV - Melissa Companion.esm
KhanInitiation.esp
Tammer's NIF-Bashed Weapons Mega-Pack.esm
FNV Vlad's Weapon Depot.esp
SomeguySeries.esm
FNV Dr. Quarton's Laboratory.esp
outsidebets_meyersfix.esp
outsidebets.esp
Eliza.esp
TfaT2.esp
CNR_Beta.esp
DeanDominoFollower.esp
DepthsOfDepravity.esp
Thunderchild V2.esp
TrooperOverhaul-Dragbody.esp
Casino Crowds.esp
Headhunting.esp
TheHighDesert.esp
Pimphousev1_01.esp
PowderGangerImprovement.esp
NewVegasBounties.esp
The Law Won.esp
TheInheritance.esp
1nivVSLArmors.esp
Russell.esp
NewVegasKiller.esp
NorthRoad.esp
Brotherhood and House Alliance.esp
Armored Suit.esp
UnlimitedCompanions.esp
DeanTurnaround.esp
NCRTrooperOverhaul.esp
bzArmour.esp
Integration - Couriers Stash.esp