Hello! Like my post says, I was just curious if people actually take their time and read the posts.
About me: I am 6’1 with red hair but it’s starting to look brown now. I have worked many different job from garbage man to working in a school with special needs kids. I have also coach youth sports for 8 years. I like planning sports and watching them as well. I started getting back into working out more now. I am also a big nerd as well. I like comic book movies. I love playing video games and play a lot of different games. I am also huge into Star Wars. I love sending selfies and getting to know people! So hopefully you don’t mind the selfies!
If you actually read this, in the title put your favorite food! I look forward to hearing from you soon!

My boyfriend, Jack, had been exchanging noods with multiple different woman throughout the entire first 6 months of our relationship. Starting from the day before, and the day after we got together, October 23-24 of 2021. I had found this out February of 2022 right before a trip to NH, and we had decided that while on my trip I’d give myself time to really think of what I wanted to do. In that time I had decided to stay with him, and I now regret this. Here’s why: His mom kicked him out about 2 months after I got back from my 1 week trip, he moved in with me and my parents, and here’s where I notice more red flags. He’s not very hygienic, he only uses soap to wash his body sometimes due to me getting on his case about it. He barely ever brushes his teeth. He didn’t even start using deodorant until about 1-2 months ago, and that was when I bought him one. Somehow he doesn’t absolutely stink but I really don’t know how I never noticed this before. I’ve also learned that he’s a compulsive liar and a lot of the time it’s over simple things. Such as “no I didn’t change the thermostat” even though nobody but him changed it. He took my Xbox with him when he visited his brother after I said no. Then the next day lied about it, saying he didn’t take it even though it was obviously gone, and when I pointed that out he claimed I had “changed my mind after he woke me up to ask a again” which isn’t the case. From the time he moved in around may, to December of 2022, he didn’t have a job the entire time, and all he did was play video games. He didn’t do any chores around the house, only made messes. I’ve tried to break up with him multiple times. But I can’t bring myself to do it and can’t tell if this is even a good enough reason to. He doesn’t have anywhere to go, he doesn’t have a car or anything, and his mom sucks, what should I do?

Like if I happen to do something else like a book club and meet people, fine. But I'm not interested in going looking for friends or trying to make them. I'm not even particularly interested in connections I've made with my wife's friends. I see them as her friends. I don't hate them, but I can't make myself more interested in them and I'm not.
I had lots of friends in high school, and I enjoyed being on the scholastic bowl team. The nerdy scholastic bowl kids were my "clique" I guess.
In college I was kind of friends with some girls, but I think they just assumed I was sad sitting in the cafe by myself. They were nice enough but I didn't make more than what felt like a very superficial connection to anyone.
Now that I'm in my 30s, dropped out and was unable to work "unskilled" jobs because of my autism. I'm going back to learn web development in the hopes of getting a remote career in that. Anyway, right now in my life, I think I want to focus on my education.
The problem is I'm worried my wife will think I'm 'sad' or not living life correctly, or whatever, if I'm not trying to make friends. She's someone who really needs to be around people. I find it exhausting though.
I guess what I'm wondering is, how can I tell her I don't want/need friends, I don't feel sad without them, and there's just so much I want to focus on doing by myself right now? It's also hard to bring up bc her mother died and was alone, but in a miserable and self-destructive way. I just want to be alone but for me it would be healthy and not foster anti-human conspiracy theories like it did with her. She may have been a paranoid schizophrenic. Anyway, of course dealing with having her for a mom was not fun. But how do I tell my wife hey, I think isolating yourself is actually fine and that your mom did that was kind of the least of her problems?
Anyway, how would you tell someone you don't want friends and aren't interested in activities with potential new friends? I keep telling her I like being included/invited but maybe I should say it's fine to stop inviting me too?

I make $270,000 a year, in a stress free job, working part time from home. I recently got a job offer, that I wasn't even actively seeking, for $315,000, but here's the catch, it's full-time and I have to work in an office. Should I take it?
I'm a little bored with working from home, so I travel to different resorts around the world to do my work from, but I always use an extra bit of cash. What do you think I should do?

i had a third and final interview for a job that would lead to a full career change. the more i think about it, I would not want to make the change and am still up for jobs in my field.
if i were to get an offer from them and declined while still interviewing for other positions, would this lead to trouble?

I love this game, even tho performance can be pretty bad from time to time (2070S, 5600X).
But this encounter has to be one of the worst designed fights I've ever seen in any "souls-like"!
This is a game designed from the ground up around the deflecting mechanic and then introduce enemies that spam more unblockable attacks than normal ones, with hit boxes that are often questionable at best, just utter BS at worst (looking at you tounge lasso!), while the dodging in this game is just plain bad.
Double jumping works (most of the time), but often these dudes attack so fast that the recovery time is just not enough to dodge consistently.
Also one of these fuckers was bad enough, but at least you could concentrate on what it was doing and use calculated openings to punish some of the attacks.
But now they've shoved two of these fuckers into an arena the size of my first own one room apartment, where you regularly get pinched between two obese froglike fuckers and the wall, only to get stomped, bitten or licked to death!
In the end I finally did it, but I didn't even feel happy that I did, I just felt relieved that the torture is finally over!
Rant over, thanks.

I am a 40M, recently divorced and getting back into dating. I have a strong professional job and am youthful/athletic. A few weeks ago, a 30F found me on bumble and we started chatting and had a nice two hour call..good mix of laughs and deeper stuff, who we are etc..we ended the call agreeing to another call a few days later. Second call was also two hours long and really easy flowing. And the end of that call I asked for her number (we had been using bumble calling) and asked for an in person date. It was obvious she was anticipating both and happy.
The date was a few days later. We went to dinner and then walked around talking fairly late into the evening. About three and half hours. Again really comfortable, easy conversation. At the end I went in for a hug and little forehead kiss. She shifted her head and turned it into a proper mouth kiss. We chatted a moment longer and discussed another date in a week or so and we had another little kiss. She said I was so gentle.
Over the course of the next week I noticed increasing delay in her text messages. I'm trying not to get too kind of in that stuff but my instinct was right as the end of the week, she sent a message saying 'I was a really sweet guy, but she didn't see it going anywhere, and she didn't want to waste my time, and wished me best of luck and please don't hate her'
I'm new to this, but recognized it as a fairly straightforward rejection note.
I replied back that i didn't hate her at all, and that she was the first girl I had developed feelings for since my divorce, and I wished her luck as well. I also said if she ever needed career advice, to reach out. (She's younger and at kind of a career crossroads, and we had discussed a bit in our conversations).
I was bummed but tried to take it in stride. About a week and a half later I got a notice that she had added me on Snapchat. I didn't think much of it, but sent a snap of me smiling with my tongue 😋. Just silly.
She replied back, and we exchanged a couple brief messages. Two days later she sent another message. Again we exchanged a couple.
At that point I was a bit confused. So I sent a snap of a picture of a dinner I had cooked, to get a sense of where we were at with the communication. She did not reply.
Again I kind of tried to settle in and just take it in stride. And now a full week later I just received another notice of a snap from her, first thing Sunday morning.
For those unaware the moment I open that snap she will know I've seen it, so I haven't even looked at it yet. 😂.
I'm confused as to why she's continuing to engage. At least for me if I break it off with someone like that I don't think I would be shooting messages back and forth, even infrequently.
Ultimately my goal is I would like to date her and understand why she didn't think we had a future.
I've been in a very long term marriage before and I have a pretty good idea of what that takes and I think our connection has potential.
Advice appreciated!!

Hi. I recently started a job and two of my colleagues seem a bit rude. Honestly I believe she they very reasonable with all they say, it’s just the way they say it that messes with me.It’s my fault I take it a bit personally bc of childhood trauma with a person who behaves the same way one of the two girls do.I get emotional at work and barely hold my tears infront of them. Also I heard them two times talk about me knowing I was there, they were making fun of me but didn’t say anything. Today I went to work and it’s a closing shift with just the three of us and tried to hold it up but was failing at my tasks, couldn’t concentrate and told them I’m not feeling ok and left. which is kinda true, emotionally I’m not okay but they would just tell me to suck it up, that’s why I told them I feel sick. I don’t think I behaved right, I understand that this is life I have to make it work and keep going and I should not give up, but a part of me know leaving for the day was the easier part. How would you behave in a situation like that?

Hey there!
I'm on a mission to establish a strong reputation on Upwork as a freelancer, but I'm facing the challenge of starting from scratch with no reviews or previous Upwork history. To those experienced in the field, I'd love to hear your insights and strategies for catching the attention of clients and securing those initial projects.
What techniques or tactics did you use to stand out in the crowded marketplace? Did you focus on your profile, portfolio, or reaching out to clients directly? I'm also curious about any obstacles you faced and how you overcame them.
I’m hoping the advice hopefully shared here will not only help me, but also benefit other freelancers in similar situations; potentially looking at transitioning from full-time jobs to freelancing.
Thank you in advance!

Now we all know the spectrum of this dynamic is very wide and for something like this to truly work out, desires/cravings need to be aligned.
Therefore, I'll describe the kind of Daddy I am:
I want to be your number one fan. Supporting you, encouraging in school or career. But I also see it as my job to take some of the stress that real life can bring off those shoulders of yours, freeing up the capacity to be the best princess. Protecting and keeping you safe is a top priority, but also help guide and be your anchor I also deem important.
We'll let the kink aspect of the dynamic develop naturally as sexual chemistry can never be forced, but I am very open minded. Please know that from my standpoint intelligence, touch/affection, and the ability to be playful are essential qualities for this kind of relationship to be successful. Having conventional hobbies and interests in common will make our bond even deeper.
If any/all of what I've written piques your interest, let's chat and see if we get along.
Open to online and IRL

-----At-A-Glance Updates-----

• Job search IS BACK, and! we ESD is now asking us to report Activity Details, starting this week (8/8) Added 7/9 ESD: Last Minute Change to Job Search Reporting: >>>Click "Yes", Not Requiring Details to be Reported<<<

Added 6/13 Return of the Job Search on July 11, FAQ
Added 6/15 ESD Clarification: 1 Job Search Activity on PUA, 3 for PEUC
Historical Clarification: Job search suspension is tied to the Washington State covid-19 emergency declaration, it has nothing to do with State Reopening Phases or Federal Benefit Extension guidelines. Recent post and reply on the subject.

• Possible Batch Processing Issue delaying some payments ~24-48hrs.

See this poll

-----

This is the Weekly Thread! Please post here.

• New Rule - Low Effort/Duplicate/Searching
• New Rule - Automoderator - Age/Karma Minimums
• State of the Sub 3/26
• State of the Sub 2/4
• State of the Sub 1/19
• The Archive
• The Roadmap to The Archive

------Foreword-----

It is important that users have a Post in which to comment and share their questions and experiences. It is also important to me as a moderator so that I can track the development, propagation or disappearance of issues related to Paid/Processing/Posting; which currently is very very was* difficult because of the volume and number of duplicates, and the lack of information provided by users who do not include their claim type and bank.
I urge you, when posting, to include your bank and your claim type.
I urge you, as much as you can, anticipate delays for weeks with holidays.
Request for separate threads will be entertained, if you can send me a direct message with a good reason that is backed by some sort of evidence.

---------

The most consistently accurate and applicable is in The Archive and The Roadmap

-----Weekly Claim Questions------

NEW 4/12: ESD's site for Weekly Claim Questions - Reporting Earnings
NEW 4/12: ESD's site for Weekly PUA claim Questions
NEW 4/12: ESD's site for Restarting your Claim
ESD's site for Waiting Week/ When Will Payments Start
NEW 4/12: What if I didn't Work this Week?

• Added 2/1/2023 ESD: Reporting Vacation PTO pay Reporting Vacation PTO while employed, see italic section, for Reporting Lump Sum PTO payouts (like during severance), see block text section

2 jobs? Paid Late? Reporting Complex Earnings
Added 7/5 What if I wasn't AA for 2 days or less last week? WBA gets prorated, no Add'l fact-finding
Use a Password Manager, otherwise you might Lock Your Account and have to contact Technical Support
Added 4/22 Traveling and Claiming: "Able and Available"? Cannot Mark Yes to AA
Added 7/7 Website won't work? Call in the Claim, or do it later - it will stay there for 5 weeks
Added 8/22 How to File a PUA Claim By Phone - From ESD Handbook & Our Community
Added 8/22 MFA Code Is Timing Out or Late? Switch to Google Authenticator App
Added 8/29 Severance pay: 3 Laws
Added 10/4/2022 Advice: 2 job offers, How to Accept One and Reject Another, Report on weekly claim

-----Processing/Paid/Posted-----

• After a Weekly claim is submitted, it first says “Processing-Web ^￦ ", then^¥ “Processing”, then “Paid”, and it takes 48 hours on average to post in an account, if the amount is significant, refer to this post. Related Post
• The average time between when the payment shows "Paid" and when it appears in a bank account is dependent on the bank.

Weekly claims that are filed by web are generally all processed sometime between Tuesday evening and Wednesday evening. So if you filed a a claim last Wednesday it will probably not be processed until the following Tuesday.
(￦) If you did your weekly claim via the web. Weekly Claim status is "Processing - IVR"? Normal: You filed by phone IVR means Interactive Voice Response
(¥) This happens when the submission moves from "Submitted" to "Processed", within Online Activity

• Weekly Claim says " Paid - 0"? It's normal temp status
• NEW 4/9: PUA Claims pending after being processed? Upload a Document says "Railroad/Existing Claim"? This is normal
• Are your weekly claims PENDING? Go here to find out Why

------Known Issues------

3. Appearance of "Waiting Week" on some pre-existing claims
_______(1/9) WA House Minority Leader (R) J.T. Wilcox did not approve the Extension of 20.21; the WA Governor's 10th successive proclamation which waived the waiting week, by sending the Governor a letter the day the extension lapsed Contact him directly at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). So on Jan 7, ESD Policy Director Dan Zeitlin filed an Emergency Rule, which appears to have no end date. It is believed that due to no rule prohibiting a waiting week between Dec 28-Jan 7, that some pre-existing claims erroneously began to show this. See this post and comments.
Update (1/23) New FAQ from ESD ON Waiting Week

11. (New 1/19) Changing your address/phone numbebank account will likely stop payments, and require an Identity confirmation that may take 6-8 weeks. (Because of a continuation of an Audit) See above in Best Practices for changing eServices notices/letters from Mailed to Electronic. See this post

5. (NEW AS of 1-11) Disappearance of Weekly Claim Prompt Link. As suggested in this post and reply, it is solvable manually by calling the call center. . (New 1/25: Additional Info: Details of Resolution call) Another example (2/11) Another example 3/2

1. After Potential New Claim Filing on 6/12: Issue recurring

-----Roadmap Sections Expanded Above-----

Weekly Claim Subsection

• Job Search Requirements 10+ entries
• Processing/Paid/Posted Issues 5+ entries
• Weekly Claim Questions 5+ entries
• Earnings Deductions / Working Part Time 5+ entries
• Refusal to Work/ Suitable Work 5+ entries
• Able and Available 2 entries
• Known Issues 19+ entries

------Perspective--------

We are all on government benefits; this is not an employee employer relationship where we always get paid at the exact same time every week; they do not have the same responsibility to pay at a predetermined time and it's unreasonable to hold them to that standard. They will get around to paying us when they get around to paying us, unfortunately. Holding that expectation is a false hope, and being constantly disappointed is not a productive thing. .

Hallo zusammen,
ich bin jetzt 25 geworden, hab die Uni durch und bin mit den Job gestartet.
Vor gut 5 Jahren kam ich über die Uni in Kontakt mit MLP. Mein damaliges Ich wollte Unabhängigkeit und die klare Abgrenzung vom Elternhaus. Long Story Short: Ich habe die folgenden Versicherungen über MLP abgeschlossen:
Stuttgarter Versicherung: Invest: ishares Emerging Market 100% bisher knapp 25€ pro Monat, bald 60€.
Allianz RiesterRente InvestFlex (8.09€) AL-9470909662 Invest: 100% in S&P 500
Alte Leipziger Moderne flexible Basisrente (AR75) mit BU (BZ21) - 29,82€, bald 99,43€. iShares MSCI Europe iShares MSCI World (50/50)
Jetzt wollte ich mal wissen, ob es sich lohnt, das Ganze weiter zu führen. Mein damaliges Ich kannte sich nicht wirklich damit aus, auf mich wurde viel eingeredet.
Bespare unabhängig davon ein 70/30 Portfolio im Monat.
Sind die Versicherungen es wert? Oder lieber all in ETF und alles kündigen?
Danke für eure Einschätzung. Gerne auch Rant für die dumme Entscheidung meines 20-Jährigen Ich’s .

As the title says, i stopped listening to the tapes for a couple of months, and now i want to start again from orientation and take it more seriously. I got into focus 15 and then i stopped for no serious reason. The thing that i can say tho is that something changed inside me while doing the tapes, a positive change. It was like my mind expanded and i started feeling better mentally.
Now that I'm gonna start over, i want to find a purpose in my life. I want to change some things and enjoy life at it's fullest. I wasted a lot of years doing nothing with my life, but I'm still 24 so there's plenty of time to sort everything out.
I studied at a pastry school and I'm currently working at a pastry shop but i hate it so much. I regret it that i spent 2 years + money on a pastry shcool. But at the same time I don't know what else to do. I think that life's too short to work at a job that drains you. But what else can i do?
I think that I've lost my motivation. Even when I want to paint on my free time, i can't cause I lack of motivation and creativity. I want to create art pieces but I can't. Tried asking on various focus states for guidance, art ideas and which path to follow, but got nothing.
I would really appreciate your help and guidance, cause i feel a little bit lost.

I'm in the trenches updating my portfolio (hell) to switch jobs again and i cant help but feel like i would be happier if i did something else for a living that wasn't so subjective. i'm mid-career (10 years) and ive done a good job everywhere ive worked but i feel like i can already see the ceiling coming fast. especially with the massive tech salaries that are out there (not even just dev jobs but being out-earned by recruiters and salespeople). anyone else ever feel like they needed to start over with something else?

Week after week I’ve been dealing with the stressors that come with working as a manager in the service industry with no stable/consistent intimacy outlet. I’ve had hookups here and there since my breakup in December of last year, but haven’t met anyone who has made me want more than just a ONS. Despite having a job where I have to constantly interact with people, I am very much an introvert; I prefer to listen and observe and only speak when I have something of substance to say. I’m not going to write an essay about who I am and my interests. Those are aspects that I’d rather someone find out organically in person.
But what I will say is I’m looking for someone who doesn’t take life too seriously, someone who is naturally very catering, kind, passionate, funny and enjoys the fuck out of the little things in life. Someone who can just take one look at me and know that I need a booty massage and body kisses after a long day of work and is willing to do those things for me. Someone who I can confide in when I’m in the mood to be emotional and is able to accept me for who I am while also knowing when I need to be told the brutal truth. Someone who is patient, enjoys taking the initiative when necessary and openly speaks their desires and wants.
If you’re down to be a sort of friend with benefits and enjoying the fun in a no pressure-no strings attached-go with the flow type of friendship, message me and let’s see how we vibe :)
Please be able to host or have a car for hang outs! Also have a strong preference for folks who live in the Bronx like me. And be open to more than just cuddles :)

Hi all, Im (21F) looking into moving to the USA from the UK in the future (roughly 3/4 years ideally) as Im currently pregnant and the father of my baby is a US citizen, we are not together anymore but we are on very good terms and I want to be closer to him and his family (distance wise) for my daughter as she grows up so she can have a good bond with them.
Im looking into enrolling back into school and completing my degree but I was unsure of which degrees would aid me the most in moving to the US, as I would be moving via employment hopefully (as marriage is not an option anymore due to the breakup between me and my ex); I was hoping to get some insight into which degrees I should look at applying for that could possibly help me significantly in my immigration and maybe get some advice from others who have moved via employment and what their experience was like :) I have very good GCSE grades alongside A-Level Psychology, BTEC Applied Science, Level 3 Core Maths and an EPQ so Im not really limited with options for what degree I can choose, and Im very open minded into what I could possibly study.
Ive read online that Business/Software Development/Data science are all in high demand in the USA and I have an interest in these subjects already so if anyone has any advice regarding these degrees and the jobs they would lead to in the US specifically, it would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

The longer I live here the more I hate it. I just saw an article about how the United States life expectancy saw its largest drop in life expectancy in history since world war 2 starting at the beginning of the pandemic. Ya know what? Pandemics are stressful. The economy being shit is stressful. Working for enough to pay bills but not enough to move out of your parents is stressful. Working factory jobs with people who don’t wanna work is stressful. All this stress causes health problems. If America fixed its shit it would be significantly better compared to the current situation. I’m tired of living here but there’s no way to leave, no way to move, without having money or settling for similar shitty conditions as an escape route. Why live if life sucks? Shit sucks.

I really wish Mona would stop peddling fat phobia and bad information about weight loss on the podcasts. In this week’s Just Between Us, she stated that “most people don’t have the discipline to lose weight without drugs.” This is patently false. Research has shown that restriction leads to overeating and eating disorders and that one of the biggest precursors to obesity is dieting early in life.
This way of thinking is also what leads to people being bias against fat people on other areas. I have plenty of discipline in most areas of my life (advanced degree, great job) and my weight should be no indicator to anyone about how I perform in life. If anything, my weight is higher because I am a perfectionist in so many other areas that I can’t keep it up (and shouldn’t have to) in every area.
Finally, research has not shown that ozempic is safe long term but what it does show is that the moment you stop taking it, you gain alll the weight back and probably more. Maybe we should just accept people at all weights and stop trying to shame people for being larger than the norm.
I personally believe that if we stop all of the focus on weight, we will see a decrease in obesity because children won’t be pressured to diet early and constantly feel ashamed of their naturally larger frame and they won’t end up like 95% of people who gain all the weight back after large weight loss and 2/3 that gain back more because of damage to their metabolism and further damage to their relationship with food!

what are some good sources to prepare for a job interview with emphasis on matlab coding?
my next round of interviews will have emphasis on coding in matlab and the job deals mostly with hardware control, data analysis, and simulations in matlab. are there any recomended ways of preparing for such interviews?

OK take two. This is very important I say this here since ppl don't know how to read. This is my now sitch. I have a good job making ok money and so does my husband. I will add the OG text becailse I deleted the OG since idk how to edit my posts I'm new to reddit.
Please keep in mind this all happend over a year ago and I want to just get it off my chest because things have DRASTICLY CHANGED. So here it goes.
So this will be a long one and I apologize for that. A year ago my step mom called Cps (child protective services) on me. And now my dad is gaslighting me to try to make me feel guilty and to have me to apologize for her doing it.
Here is a little back story to understand how this got so bad. I (f 27) met my fiance (m28) 5 years ago, we got pregnant 6 months after we met. It was not on purpose, and I admit we weren't careful because I was told at 19 I'd never be able to have kids due to some medical issues.
Now I moved in with my fiance after we had the baby (f), and I was a SAHM I worked Uber and Doordarsh and instacart while I was a SAHM. My fiance let's call him J, worked full time at a box store. We rent from Inlaws and it's a decent place just small. We had to fit two lives in one area and when H was a baby it was easy to keep up. Now she's three and we are teaching her to clean up after herself.
Fast forward to Dec 2021, J had quite his job and we were both driving for DD and Uber eats (this was not permanent since he was looking for a job right after he had quit his job for good reasons)not really making much at all, and my step mom and dad kept telling me that I needed to do better. I already was trying to do better and was secretly looking for a job. I say secretly because then I knew they would say something along the lines of good your finally listening to us. And I did not need that. So in Dec my step mom had a party. We had talked and agreed I'd let them take my daughter until the day of the party. When my dad came to get my daughter she was in the bath because she had woken up from her nap completely drenched in pee since her diaper leaked. I told him it'll be a couple minutes and then she would be ready, I went to check on her. When I came back he was in her room and I saw his phone was in photo mode. I saw red! I berated him about taking photos of my home and how disrespectful it was. He at first tried to deny it but when I pushed the issue he finally admitted he was doing it at my Step mom's orders.
I was so upset. I told him to delete the photos and he told me if he didn't bring them he would get into trouble with my step mom. I said if I ever catch you taking photos of my home secretly again we would have a different convo. I did end up letting him take H (daughter) because I didn't want her to not have fun. I had told myself I would just talk to my step mom at the party and tell her that is a boundary that was crossed. (Yes in hindsight not a smart move for me but I didn't think it'd had gotten as bad as it did)
The party came and as I was just enjoying it everyone in my family was really heavily telling me I needed to spend the night, and I kept saying no because I had planned to work the next day and knew I'd stay and never work. I finally cornered my step mom and asked her to talk with me. She was refusing originally but I was persistent. I told her how bad it looked she was taking pictures of my home and she said "if I wanted to call CPS on you I wouldn't need pictures " 🚩number 2. I then told her it was a boundary for me for her to secretly take photos and have me feel like a poor parent because my home was messy. Her response to this was "honestly, I'm tempted to take H until you get your shit together."
I was dumb founded! I took my daughter and left. For three weeks I did not talk to them. After a week I let H face time them but I was not in the video chat and I would not say anything if very minimal. During those three weeks I worked non stop on the delivery apps and didn't really get any rest I was working mon-sun from 6am to 7 pm just to get gas and food money. I DID HEAR BACK AND HAD SEVERAL JOB INTERVIEWS LINED UP BY THIS TIME. By week three my dad and step mom asked me to come up and I felt I could handle it finally and said I'd come that Sunday. Well that Saturday I had a babys shower and my mom was teaching me how to cook turkey. I still worked in the am and was a little late to the shower. Mom and I had a blast at cooking turkey and the next day I woke up late. H didn't and by the time I woke up we had an hour before her nap. And if I'm honest I still didn't want to see my family. So I laid her down and fell back asleep untill about 3pm. I woke up in a panic because I knew I was in deep shit with my step mom. I rushed to get my kid and our stuff into my car and try to get up there as alfast as I could ( the drive was an hr from my moms 2 1/2 from my home) and as I was pulling out of my.moms street I got a text
" don't bother coming up because I wanted to spend the whole day with H not a few hrs." But I went anyways and the whole time my step mom tried to ignore me. She kept saying how she wanted H to stay the weekend and just have some time alone with her. Side note me and my husband both agreed by then our daughter would not be going to spend the night by herself for a very long time because I had reason my step mom was going to try and take her or try ro stop me from taking her back.
I kept saying.how I'd love to join them so I could reconnect with the family. My step mom did not sound happy with my suggestion. Well around 9 I finally said we had to leave because I needed to drive the 2 and a half hours back home. We said our good byes and headed out About 20 minutes into the drive I called my mom to see if I could spend the night again becaise she was closest, because I was worried with how tired I was I'd get into an accident. She of course agreed and I stayed the night. I stay lied at her house talking how the rest of that day had gone and she was weirded out too. I got to my home about 5 pm and 30 minutes later my MIL come knocking at the basement door in a tizzy because there was a CPS worker at her door. My heart stopped. My husband and I went up greeted the worker and let her in. She said that she was there because there had been a complaint against us. I knew right away who. And asked her if it was my step mom. She said she couldn't disclose that because her job was to keep the peace. Well she came to see the home and inspect it. After she asked questions and looked around. She stated that other then a few things around the house needed to be fixed (easy fixes too) she didn't see a reason for the call. She said the complaint was there was cat pee smell everywhere and it was bad. She said she knew we had two cats but couldn't smell them... that was kinda prideful for me. She said to clean the home and fix the few things physically. she would came back for a follow up in two weeks (it was early 3 months by the time she came back) she told me that she felt that she'd be able to close our case relatively easy. We bid her goodbye. And the first call was to my mom screaming and crying on how I didn't have a dad and that my step monster had really overstepped. I told her everything she was seething! So was my husband and MIL. I was in Shock and tears, I blocked my SM and called my dad crying and upset on what he just let happen and I got nothing back. Then I told my mom he didn't puck up she called him a cowered. She then took a call to him and cussed him out. I blocked him then unblocked him. And it wasn't until three days later he called me back i didnt answer. He said he didn't know I had called and that he would try my mom. When I heard that on the voice mail I took a little pleasure because he did not know what he was in for. J had to hold me because I had started to shake after hearing my dad's voice. I called my mom told her he would call and to call me when she was done. She did told me she cussed him out and told him how he has abandoned me yet again and how much of a shifty father he was to not protect me or to warn me what was transpireing from his wife. He defended himself and said he had no knowledge my mom didn't let him get away with that. And he admitted to knowing somthing but sisnt think she would go through with it.
I ignored his calls for two weeks. He called everyday. Which is sad to say he never did that before he would call maybe every other week. Then I got a message from my SM. " A it's obvious you don't see me as a mother but if you don't let your dad see H I will blast you on FB and put all the evidence out there. Becaise obviously I'm not your mother it hurts your dad that you rnt talking to him. I am a grown women who makes her own decisions and i called csp with out your fathers knowlage. (She mentions that obviously I don't see her as a mom again even though prior I did call her mom.)" I screen shotted the message and sent it to my dad and said this has to stop I will talk when I'm ready. About a week later I finally picked up my dad's call and I had him on speaker. I told him I felt I had no father and how he abandoned me. How he didn't tell me what was happening. And so much more.
But after that I started to forgive him because being mad is more work. Plus he isn't soly responsible. Now I see home on and off. But recently he has been gaslighting me when he brings the whole situation up. Saying things like
"It's hard on me because I want my whole family back", and "how SM didn't really call out of spite but to get you to do what she wanted. I had told him through the first meet up that I had a job lined up and had worked hard on the house. (At this point the house was immaculate its amazing what organization can do. Ps somthing i had been working on doing before all this happed!) During the first few days I couldn't work while we were cleaning because we were cleaning all day everyday. For two weeks I couldn't go work alone the apps because I was waiting for the cps worker to show up. J had started to work the apps and doing interviews during that time as well. my mom helped us with getting strage and food during the time I couldn't work. BTW I knew stroage is what we needed all along to our mess, and have been telling them all that. He praised me for the job and cleaning and I told him I didn't need his validation and I didn't get the job because of cps I had started looking before this all transpired. He asked why I didn't say anything because it would have had SM calm down and probably not call CPS. (Highly doubt it) I told him because it's my life and I'm going to live it the way I see fit not him and definitely not my SM.
But anyway like I said now he just gas lights me to day I have to make the first move because i made a TT when I was mad calling her a narcissistic abuser and she saw it and hurt her feelings and how she was not afraid she had hurt all of us.... 🙄. So am I the asshole for the TT and should I apologize for everything and speak first or what should I do now? I will say I wrote a note to her that I haven't sent expressing my feelings and what I needed to say. Thank you for any advice plus for reading this long story! Also sorry for bad Grammer and bad spelling lol. The messiness of the house consisted of laundry in baskets because I didn't have a place for towels and bedding and loads of books and other things I use on a regular with no storage. It's now organized and put away thanks to my amazing mom who helped me through this time of my life.
Now this is where I give what life looks like now.
The house is still a little messy but that's just home life with a toddler. The dishes are still done and laundry put away but now her toys are EVERYWHERE she finished her first year of PreK (it's for her speech therapy) and my fiancé and I are bis drivers and make ok money. It's still our first year of it but hey!
I worked at HD for a year and for several months of that year I worked both bus and HD working in till 5 at bus and from 530 to 10 pm. I quite HD to focuse on bus. No the catalyst for the job was NOT my sms doing and I don't care what she thinks
Yes I still have a relationship with my dad but he is at arms length at all times. Yes I left a lot out originally and now I see why that is bad.
I want to thank all the commenter before who wasn't tearing me down and shaming me for my PAST and trying to give me good vibes and helpful tips! I don't know how to delete comments I'm new to reddit. Please do not come for me for my PAST issues I'm not that pathetic person anymore. I have refound my original self and going strong and hard to figure out all the possibilities I can do to better my family every day.

Hola, soc universitari del Regne Unit i porto dos anys estudiant el català a la universitat. També, vaig estudiar a la Universitat de Barcelona l'any 2021.
He rebut una oferta de treball a Madrid aquest any com a professor d'anglès. El meu plan original va ser treballar a Barcelona, però ara no puc anar-hi. Tinc una altra oferta a Girona, però no crec que m´agradaria viure-hi perquè és bastant car i no puc trobar pis. També, és dificil viatjar des de la ciutat. Per això, vaig decidir marxar a Madrid.
M´agradaria seguir estudiant el català perquè m´encanta molt i gaudeixo la llengua. Hi ha cap aplicació o llibreta/quadern que pugui utilitzar per aprendre la llengua? Ja practico el català amb programes com Merlí i Parla.cat o el contingut de les meves classes per aprendre vocabulari i gramàtica.
Moltes gràcies :)
Si us plau, digue'm si m'he equivocat amb el vocabulari o la gramàtica!
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Hello, I'm a university student from the United Kingdom and I've been studying Catalan at university for two years. Also, I studied at the University of Barcelona in 2021.
I received a job offer in Madrid this year as an English teacher. My original plan was to work in Barcelona, but now I can't go there. I have another offer in Girona, but I don't think I'd like to live there because it's quite expensive and I can't find a flat. Also, it is difficult to travel from the city. That's why I decided to go to Madrid.
I would like to continue studying Catalan because I really love and enjoy the language. Is there an app or notebook/notebook I can use to learn the language? I already practice Catalan with programs like Merlí and Parla.cat or the content of my classes to learn vocabulary and grammar.
Thank you so much :)
Please tell me if I got the vocabulary or grammar wrong!