So I started renting a duplex with a friend and her young son from work in December. I was cool with her, so I said sure, I wanted to live closer to work. Initially she paid the the deposit and first month because it was short notice and I didn’t have that saved. I paid her back over the next weeks as I got paid. That was a whole fiasco because for some reason she thought I was paying it all back right away, which was not the agreement, but we sorted that out. Things were great till she lost her job and started collecting unemployment. When we first moved in we established rules (which I wish we would have wrote down and signed on) but her biggest one, we must keep our jobs, she didn’t. Another was help with cleaning. I will admit making that transition to a new place was rough and we did create quite the mess as we both worked nights, but I finally got big trash bags, asked her to load them up since she wasn’t working and I would take it out when I got home. She said she would and would also clean up the kitchen. Easy. That was both our mess and we both got it sorted. Well as her 5 year old son got moved in he started leaving messes and she was alright about picking them up. She then asked since we are t using the living room yet, could he keep some toys out there, I said sure no big deal, it’s an empty room as long as he keeps it picked up. A few weeks went by and this kid has it trashed every day, the hallway has his toys, he trashed the bathroom. Everywhere. I just got so frustrated that I just use the bathroom, my room, and microwave. She cooks and leaves her dishes in the sink unwashed, leaves food in pans for days, and has even left a crockpot on the counter for a month and a half with food in it. Then I found out she has loss of trash in bags in the garage that I said she could use since I don’t mind parking in driveway. I confronted her on this and she says I wasn’t holding up my responsibilities when I said I would help clean. It’s been 3 months am I refuse to help her clean up. Why would I clean messes that I didn’t contribute to. I keep all my trash in a bag in my room that I take out every week on trash day. She said I said I would help her with the garage, but I work and she doesn’t so even if I said I did why wouldn’t she work on it on her own but by bit since she’s home all the time and not working? Am I wrong? She once even left her kid unattended at the house while I was sleeping to go out and drink. She sent me a text asking if I would watch him but I never saw it till I woke up to him crying outside looking for his mom. I shoulda called the cops but I didn’t want to deal with the drama while still living together.
I wish there was a way to get her evicted but she comes up with her side of the bills “on time” so I don’t think my landlord will do anything really. and I just don’t know what do. I might just have to bite the bullet and move out which sucks. Any advice

I wish I found this subreddit sooner so I could expand my research prior visiting Japan. I only found this subreddit after I returned from the trip so after reflecting upon the trip I will write my mistakes that I made and things that I have learned so I can perhaps help other first time travellers going to Japan. It will be also useful for me in the future. PS: forgive my grammar, English is not my first language. Also a late report + numerous trip fumbles ahead so please be kind xDD
Me (30M) and my gf (25F) went on a trip to Japan April 24 - May 11, 2023. This was our first time travelling to Japan and our first time travelling in a different country by ourselves in general. We both had no experience travelling without family/experienced travellers with us so it was a bit stressful but we still had fun in general.
What we learned:

• Get a very good shoes for extensive walking/hiking. I cannot stress this enough. Man, I returned with bunch of callouses on my toes+heels and blisters on my pinky toes that turned into some sort of stage 2 pressure sore. It was not fun walking with pain that I feel bad for unable to keep up with my gf. I had to sit many times to give first aid and end up buying some products for my feet. Was still able to complete all itineraries but it could have been prevented. No more Sketchers for me.
• 1 month prior to flight, my vegetarian gf attempted to become omnivore for the trip. She was sick for a couple of weeks for eating meat but she braved through it because she did not want to miss out on food while in Japan. She adapted in the end although she had nauseous from eating meat at times. In the end, there were actually numerous vegetarian options for her that she did not have to adapt in the first place.
• We needed more time to prepare for the trip. Our trip was kind of spontaneous and we booked the flight ticket around late March so we have to pay hefty amount of money more. The itinerary was too much than we could have accounted for. We should have given ourselves free time in between destinations and not clump them like there is no tomorrow.
• Check the weather forecast. Preparing for the itinerary while considering the weather can be very difficult as the weather in Japan fluctuates very easily. Good thing we group our itineraries that can be done indoors vs outdoors so would switch up the plan depending on the weather. I also did not know cherry blossom forecast was a thing. I visited places expecting some cherry blossoms and they turned out to be green when we get there. This is a good thing to consider while visiting during spring season.
• Be flexible for the trip. Our trip was supposed to be Osaka -> Kyoto -> Nagoya -> Kawaguchiko -> Tokyo. Then we switched up Tokyo and Kawaguchiko due to price increasing during the Golden Week. We visited within the Golden week period (we did not know this event was a thing) and we realized the price of hotels skyrocket within this period. I wanted to experience some high end ryokans in Kawaguchiko with a view of Mount Fuji but then the price was like 3-4 times the price during the Golden week, hence, we switched up the places. We saved money for lodging because of that.
• Popular restaurants + Tourist trap places can have long lines. If you have tighter schedule like we did, I highly suggest making reservations or come earlier to get into the lines. Even a lot of restaurants that open at 11am, I saw a line already around 9:30am. I did not have time for that that we end up visiting not so pupular places and yet still experience delicious food. Tourist trap places tend to be overrated and expensive. It is a good thing that we went to try other places. Our restaurant policy if there are more locals eating vs tourists eating, it is good and most likely cheap. Some restaurants also do not appear on google maps due to not adapting to the English language so you can usually find hidden gems here and there.
• I think it is better to check in a hotel with breakfast services as most restaurants open around 11am. We had hotel with breakfast service and some have dont. We end up buying food at combini and also got lucky with Denny's near our first hotel as it opens at 6am.
• Note for type of train traveling within your station. I only realized this during the middle of our trip. There is Local, Rapid, Express. Local stops station to station, rapid seemed to skip some stations, and express seemed to only stop at key stations. It is good that the stations have English translations and even the train pre recorded voice also had English parts.
• Check exchange rate before withdrawing money from ATMs. The currency exchange fluctuates but it is not a huge difference. It is still good to win as much money in the exchange to have more cash in hand. The money I lost due to the exchange were minuscule at first but they accumulate since I did not check exchange rate until I returned.
• I should not have been afraid to ask for help. I had this impression that Japanese people don't like to be bothered and they seemed resourceful themselves to not bother themselves asking. At least I learned this the second day of the trip. Hotel receptionists are good resource to ask.

What saved us the trip:

• Being an anime fan/hololive fan helped me with the language. I watched so many animes that it surprisingly helped improve my vocabulary and I was able to understand people speaking in Japanese. Although I cannot read their language(thank god google image translate), I was able to hold conversation even though I speak like a toddlekindergartener. It is almost funny that some anime characters speak unnatural that I even used their kind of speech at times. I am ever so proud when some people told me "Nihonggo Jouzu"-d 4 times during this trip. Some people take that as an offense but I was so delighted when I received that.
• Booking online for reservation. We avoided spending more for this trip since we did not go to theme parks and focused on temple visiting as we preferred. We only had few reservations to do without much competition.
• Renting wifi device. I was about to use roaming but it was too expensive for a 17 day trip. Thank goodness for renting. Things would have been a disaster without my internet. Everyone should get their internet access as their priority.
• Get a power bank device. Since I use my phone all the time, the device dies easily. There are charging stations around but if you want to keep moving, bring your own and charge them while you walk. I had my 20000mah power bank and it is more than enough for charging 2 phones, 1 tablet, 1 wifi device for the day. I just charge the power bank while I sleep.
• Getting a Suica pass. This is self explanatory. I almost got into the hype of getting a JR pass too but I thought it was too expensive for me. I did not need a JR pass. With the help of google maps and Suica pass, I was able to go to my destination. I am amazed they put the price of the transport that I was able to choose which method of transport should I be getting. No taxis for me in this trip since I heard they tend to be expensive.
• Buying unlimited day pass also saved us some money for transport during the trip. It is a good practise to calculate your itinerary beforehand before deciding whether an unlimited day pass is a good option. There were days we did not buy unlimited pass.
• Putting Akihabara near end of trip than early. I would have ran out of money to spend for other places if I went there first.

Brief trip report:

• Day 0 (April 25) - Arrive to Osaka after Layover from Narita around 8pm. Checked in the hotel and ate combini food before turning in for the night.
• Day 1 - Osaka Castle (entered with an entrance fee) -> Izakaya Toyo (watched the episode on netflix and decided to visit) -> Sumiyoshi Taisha -> Nagai Park (it was at this part I realized about the Golden Week as we saw construction of stalls as preparation) -> Team Labs Botanical. The botanical experience was underwhelming for me. I was only impressed with the blue lights on the foliage.
• Day 2 - Yoshino. This is the part where I wished I knew about the Cherry blossom forecast. I checked google to see where in Japan has best place for cherry blossom and it recommended Yoshino. The cherry blossom was already over but the place was still very nice and visited some temples there. I will definitely come back for the actual cherry blossom viewing. At least the Blue Symphony train was a cool method of transport to Yoshino. Then spent the rest of the day/evening at Tsutenkaku.
• Day 3 - Shittenoji Temple (they were building stalls for the festival? got few good pictures due to stalls within sights) -> went to Kobe and tried their Kobe beef from a golden cow plate restaurant in Kobe -> cable car to Nunobike Herb Garden -> hang around BE KOBE sign -> Dotonbori for the rest of the evening (VERY CROWDED).
• Day 4 - Nara. Rented bike there and went to various places. Nara Deer Park -> Sage Ike pond -> Kasuga Taisha shrine. Feeding deers everywhere. -> Todaiji temple (entrance fee) -> Kofukuji temple -> Higashimuku Shopping Street -> returned bike then train back to Osaka-> going first time trying bath house in Solaniwa.
• Day 5 - Checked out hotel. Used Kyo Train Garaku to Kyoto. Used a coinlocker since check in starts at 3pm. -> Jonangu Shrine (entrance fee for garden) -> Fushimi Inari Taisha. Attempted to climb up but my poor feet were screaming. We turned back after reaching the second station before Mount Inari. -> Gion for the evening before checking in to the hotel.
• Day 6 - Arashiyama Bamboo Forest (I was underwhelmed by this place as it was small. Make sure to come early as it gets crowded later on) -> Nearby Temples (Nonomiya, Mikami, Jojakkoji, Nisonin) -> Tenryuji Temple (entrance fee but most impressive garden I have visited this trip) -> Tenryuji Shigetsu to experience their vegan cuisine -> Sagano Romantic Train to Kameoka -> train back to shop around Arashiyama -> Kinkakuji Temple -> Nishiki Market for the rest of evening.
• Day 7 - Kiyomizu-dera (entrance fee) -> Sannenzaka (they have Starbucks in tatami there, also my gf visited "My Only Fragrance" shop and made her own perfume there). -> Yasaka Shrine (there were numerous food stalls everywhere I think this is how they celebrate Golden Week and I ate good) -> Heian Temple (entrance to garden). They also had numerous food stalls and a concert stage and I ate good -> Kodaiji Temple (entrance fee but they had a nice light show there during the evening).
• Day 8 - Nijo Castle (Expensive entrance fee compared to other entrances. Imo, there are other better places that should be more worth the fee compared to this place). -> Kyoto Imperial Palace (free entrance) -> Rokusonno Shrine -> Higashi Honganji Temple (free entrance. More stall constructions) -> Gion for the rest of evening.
• Day 9 - Check out Hotel. Used Hinotori express train to Nagoya. Always wanted to try capsule hotel and checked in to 9 hours hotel. -> Visited Nagoya Castle (entrance fee but I was disappointed we could not enter the castle itself compared to Osaka Castle). There were also numerous food stalls inside and I ate good. -> Visited their Malls -> Slept at the capsule hotel. To be honest, I slept really well compared to other hotels we have booked. It was surprisingly comfortable despite the random fire alarm that woke me up during that night.
• Day 10 - Checked out Hotel. Used Shinkansen to Tokyo. Checked in at the next hotel. -> Teamlab Planets (way better than Teamlab Botanicals) -> Dinner at Gonpachi (Kill Bill reference). The movie was old and it is the theme of the restaurant. Their food was mid though. It is just a nice ambiance where noise seemed to be welcome here.
• Day 11 - Suga Jinja (Your Name reference). Still surprised there are still visitors there due to that movie. Did some cringe Your Name photos. -> Meiji Jingu -> Explored Harajuku (visited Aoyama flower market tea house) -> Shibuya Crossing (ate good food there). Visited Tower Records + Don Quijote + Miyashita Park. Wanted to do Shibuya Sky but they sold out their tickets. End up getting lost among the crowds for the rest of evening.
• Day 12 - Nezu Shrine -> Sensoji Temple (It was raining too hard that day so we decided to come back another time. -> Shopping at Asakusa ROX + tried their conveyor belt sushi -> Akihabara (spent quite a lot of money here for anime merch). Anime store hopping + visited maid cafe for the first time.
• Day 13 - Sensoji Temple (better weather) -> Ate at Happy Pancake (I find it overrated but I still enjoyed their pancakes) -> Visited a big Muji store in Ginza -> Akihabara part 2 (more anime merch).
• Day 14 - Check out hotel. Left all check in baggages in a coin locker for 3 days prior heading to Kawaguchiko. Used bus from Shinjuku to Kawaguchiko station. Took shuttle bus to hotel. Check in at ryokan with a bath house + footbath on their rooftop with nice view of Mt. Fuji. Walked around the lake + view of Mount Fuji. Found myself a waifu Kawaguchiko-san seemed to be the mascot of the town since I see the character on various tourist spots. Had myself a mini scavenger hunt to find all of her cut outs around the town and I found them all!
• Day 15 - Shopping for souvenirs around. -> Took the boat going around the lake with nice view. Took car cable up to have a better view of Mount Fuji. Walked up more higher to have better vantage point. Proposed to my GF, now I have a fiancée.
• Day 16 - Check out Hotel. Bus back to Shinjuku. One more stop at Akihabara for merch. Retrieved coin locker baggages. Train to Narita Airport then flight back to Canada.

EDIT: post formatting

I've been playing the Captain of Industry update recently and it got me thinking about what that style of controls might look like in Factorio. For those that don't know, Captain of Industry is excellent factory automation game with some colony simulation mechanics blended into it. One thing I noticed while playing the game is that I've really enjoy having a zoomed out camera I can move around freely and give orders to build things without walking some slow avatar everywhere. So it got me wondering what it would take to mod that into Factorio.
To be clear, I have thousands of hours in Factorio and it's been a blast despite controlling an avatar for most of that time but I wonder if some players would enjoy an alternative way to play. I am well aware of mods like Space Ex that add a navigation view and of course bots that can do a lot of this. I am also aware of various mods that add RTS like units and control but as far as I could see no one has tried to create a complete overhaul of building mechanics to this degree.
Also I really don't think things like bots, exoskeletons and jetpacks are really sufficient. Not only do they come quite late but they also don't allow you to just sit back and control things from afar. It's very close when you have all the buildings automated, roboports everywhere and enough supply to last you dozens of hours but it's still not the same thing. For one, you would still need to travel out far away from your main base to setup new mines. For another when you're in modpacks like Pyanodons you have far too many buildings to automate.
So, what would this require exactly?

1. No avatar. You'd be in a sort of "god mode" looking over your game like a satellite. WASD would do nothing except maybe pan the camera.
2. Automated construction from the beginning. When you manually place something it really just places a blueprint and some automated construction vehicle builds it for you.
3. Construction of buildings happens automating. I don't think we could skip this feature without this mod feeling too cumbersome. Basically what this means is that you never need to craft a building in an assembler your construction vehicles automatically acquire the items needed and bring them to the blueprint. For convenience you could automate crafting of common buildings but that would be optional.
4. Some special allowances for common buildings like belts. An obvious criticism is that this would become extremely annoying for long lines of common things such as belts or train tracks. The construction vehicle would need to be programmed to place multiple buildings at a time to avoid excessive rerouting.
5. At the start of the game the player will need a construction vehicle and a chest containing all the basic building materials, enough to create miners, inserters, etc. to facilitate more automated building.
6. Balancing to prevent this being a "cheat". The whole idea is to make it an alternative playstyle not a god mode. If someone wants that they could easily play in sandbox mode or use console commands.
7. Full compatibility with most major mods. I got most excited thinking about playing this way in Pyanadons I feel like it would help significantly with the grind.

I'm a developer so I'm seriously considering taking a stab at creating this mod but first I have some questions for you!

1. Am I alone in wanting to play this way?
2. Does this already exist? I've searched a bit and could only find mods like Total Automation that give you RTS style units but you still have an avatar to control. Also Kruise Kontrol but that's not really a full overhaul just the ability to do some light automation with your avatar.
3. Does it seem feasible to implement using mods alone? It strikes me as feasible since we have robots, logistics chest and mods that seemingly already give you a camera like view and the ability to add and delete buildings/item at will.
4. Should I wait until the expansion to see if this is already planned or if this is more easily done with whatever new toys we get? It seems like they are pretty quiet about the details of the expansion but it is coming soon!?

If you made it this far, congrats and thanks!

Ok so I grew up in an abusive house and I can’t get my own apartment yet so someone proposed me to stay at their house for 1 month while they travel
They have a cat and I can’t take it anymore, I will sound like a baby but I need to take it out, the cat is too annoying
I like him, I give him hugs and we made a connexion really fast but he is terrible
He makes so much noise, he always meow like high pitched ones and wakes me up at 3-6AM, he eats anything he finds so I can’t let ANYTHING ANYWHERE, he broke a glass, he destroys the trash so I always have to clean EVERYTHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN, he loves to scratch the trash / plastic bags etc and the noise drives me insane. I started to cry because I couldn’t take it anymore.
He also poops NEXT TO HIS FUCKN TOILET and I don’t understand why ? I clean EVERYTHING EVERYTIME I even clean it with product before changing the thing, why ??????? I’m extremely sensitive to smells so I deadass vomit when I change his toilet and he just makes everything harder because I have to clean his poop from the FLOOR every time☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
Also sometimes he is so needy, he will follow me EVERYWHERE and not let me do anything as peeing because he wants hugs. I’m ok with taking care of him, I give him a lot of love but damn he really makes me lose my mind, he will destroy stuff if I don’t give him attention as fast as possible like wtf
I just want him to stop pooping on the floor at least

When I was twelve I got knocked off my bike by a drunk driver. I split my head right open and broke nearly every bone in my body. For four days I hovered between life and death. My parents said goodbye and even picked my funeral song. They held my hand and told me they were sorry for every silly argument, but I wasn’t there anymore, I was somewhere else.
I was in the in-between. I was connected to the hospital room by only a small frayed thread that with every passing minute threatened to snap. I could hear they’re voices but only faintly, not that they were a comfort anyway, there was no such thing as comfort where I was. It was impossibly dark in that in-between, and so cold you could feel the chill in the marrow of your bones. I can’t remember what it looks like exactly, that oddly empty place.
From my waning memory, I recall it as a formless mass of, wet, dripping, nothing; there was no left or right, no up or down. You’d float around like a kite in the wind with only that little string holding you down. It felt like I was there for years. Time just seemed to elongate there. Eventually my family’s voices faded into nothing and all I could hear was the loud deafening thud of silence. It was then I heard him."
“Hulqu-ša māru.” He said, over and over. His voice was soothingly consistent. I transcribe the phrase to you now accurately, though to my young, uneducated ears it sounded like a jumble of mismatched vowels. It was only in my adulthood that I found out that the voice he spoke to me in was Old Akkadian. Translated it meant; my child is lost.
Then I woke up. My eyes squinted from the bright hospital lights and my mother’s tears formed a puddle on my face. I can’t remember much following that, but my mum says that I kept saying “he’s real” over and over.
That’s why I know there is a god. He spoke to me, I walked in his kingdom and then I came back. Nearly eight-years later when I took my seat for the first day of my Religious Studies degree, I was perhaps the only one in that lecture theatre that knew with absolute certainty that there was a god. Was it the Christian God? The Islamic? Maybe no one has it right, but he existed. He was real. I knew that. I spent four years studying religion, and learnt nothing more important than what I found out when I was twelve.
“I have some concerns regarding your dissertation title Jeremy, Proving that God is Real, it’s… well it’s impossible to prove. We wouldn’t require faith if there was a burden of proof.” Professor Alcott said to me as he shifted through my research. “Personal anecdotes are also not sufficient subject to base an entire dissertation upon.”
“I’m committed to this research paper professor, I know with certainty that there is a god and I would like an opportunity to make this clear to everyone.” I said. “By next week sir, I will have more than anecdotes. Give me a chance.”
“I’m not one to quash academic innovation, if you would like to give this topic a bash, then I will not stand in your way. You are such a promising student Jeremy, I just don’t want you to waste your talent.” He said, looking dissatisfied.I left Alcott’s office with a seemingly impossible task. For centuries people have been looking for scientific proof in a higher power and all so far have failed. All I had was my own experience, I needed more. I scribbled down in my notebook the two most pressing features of a god with a puzzle knitting my brow together.
He’s everywhere.
He can’t be seen.
I was lying in my bed, in my dingy little student rent when I had my epiphany. Mould. It had followed me my entire life. Every room I slept in, it would curl up in the corner, an ugly black mass of reaching tendrils. It was watching me, haunting me. He was in the very air I breathed. I’m real, he was saying over and over, I’m right here. I’d been bleaching him away all of these years, drowning him in chemicals.
Mould, like mushrooms and other fungus, travels in spores, invisible to the human eye. It is said that there are fungal spores in every gulp of air we take. They grow only in conditions where they thrive, in the damp of a rundown house or in the soil at the foot of a withered tree. It made too much sense, how else could he be everywhere all at once? And with that I had a new dissertation title. Proving God is Real: The Mycological Evidence. Alcott was bemused but satisfied at least that he was in for an interesting read.
I wasn’t a mycologist when I began my dissertation, but I was by the end of my study. Fungus don’t need light to grow, in-fact there are some sources that suggest they thrive in the dark. All they really need is moisture. The in-between I’d hovered in as a child had been so damp and wet. With every new nugget of mycological trivia, the dot to dot I’d been solving my entire life was becoming clearer and clearer.
It all made so much sense. There are some suggestions from credible scientists that the consumption of psilocybin mushrooms had aided the evolution from home erectus to homo sapiens. He had nudged us, even then. Not to mention the countless ancient civilisations that had claimed to commune with gods through the burning and consumption of teas made from various fungus.I needed more, coincidences and anecdotes are so easily solved.
Armed with a little scalpel and a mason jar I scraped some of the mould off my wall. I added some water and sealed it. Growing mushrooms is exceedingly simple, as all budding recreational drug users and mycologists know.. “Give me a sign.” I said to it. “Please.”
I left it on my desk and let it fester, and it did. It grew and grew until nearly the entire jar was black. I don’t really know what my plan was for my little mason-jar experiment, I certainly didn’t expect what happened.
“Dude, that shit is rank. Stick in the bin.” My roommate pointed to my desk one day as he popped his head into my room. I had almost forgotten about it. I glanced at what he was looking at and felt my heart stop.The mason jar was smashed.
Sharp little pieces of glass were inter-mingled with thick moss-like mould that was now spreading all across my desk. It hadn’t been like that in the morning, it had to have happened recently, maybe even in the past few hours that I’d been napping. I briefly considered wiping it up with a cloth, but I couldn’t - it was god - I couldn’t clean up god.
So I left it there and charted it’s growth casually in my notebook. Until one day I returned from my morning lectures and saw something… disturbing. It had grown out from the table; it’s awful tendrils reaching out towards the empty air. If you squinted it sort of looked like a hand, oddly malformed and misshapen though it was. I started to spend my nights in the library as I was so unnerved by it.Then one morning, It was gone. The mould, it was gone, like it had never even been there before.
There's an animalistic side to all of us, one we don't realise we have until it's triggered. I felt it then, an overwhelming feeling of dread that built up to a crescendo where the very utterance of silence rang in my ears like alarm bells. I ought to have listened to it. But it was god, and god had a plan.
I went to bed that night with that feeling still tugging at me. Sleep did not come easy, in fact it did not come at all. My eyes narrowed from exhaustion, my room almost pitch black save for the small amount of light from my phone screen. I thought it was the silhouette of a jacket at first.
I stared hard at it, trying to discern any familiarity in it's shape.
I stared for what felt like hours. I felt as though I was being watched, like I wasn't alone. Then it came. Just the smallest of twitches. My finger danced over the torch button on my phone, but there was a comfort in not seeing, in the dark haze there was still a chance that it was my jacket or an odd shadow.
“Si unus extisat, sic facit alterum.” The shape said an inhuman voice that filled me with an overwhelming amount of dread. This wasn’t what I had felt when I was child, the voice of god was soothing not… wrong.
I turned the light on. All the horror films I’d watched told me that when you put the light on the awful things just… go away.
It’s a lie, a tired old trope.
Illuminated in the torchlight, It stood on hind legs, this black mass of awful clinging mould, and it looked at me, even though it did not have eyes, just empty holes. It tilted it’s head, like a dog trying to comprehend that the bag of treats had an end. It took a few steps towards me, like it had only just learned to walk, and it said it again, this time directed at my soul.
“Si unus extisat, sic facit alterum.” It said again and then, with odd movements, it slipped out my door. I heard the thud of it heading down my staircase and with every awful hoof on my steps, I felt as though I was being shot.
I knew the words this time, while the akkadian god had spoken to me in my youth had eluded me, this had not. My grammar school had a rather impressive latin department and I was close to fluent.If one exists, then so does the other.
That’s what it had said. It’s a simple turn of phrase that haunts me to this day. I wrote it all down. I turned in my dissertation with a heavy weight on my shoulders. Alcott offered me a place on his PHD programme, but I declined and he said farewell to me with an odd look glinting in his eye. He didn’t believe me, but he believed at least that I did. That’s faith for you.
He’s out there somewhere. The other.
By looking for god I had set him free and now he walks, on those unsteady legs. Maybe he’s that pile of oddly shaped clothes in the corner of your dark room, or the queer shadow that moves just slightly out of tune with your own, perhaps he’s all of these things and nothing. If one exists then so does the other. It is upon this uncertain balance that our world is built. I only wished I had met just the one.

Hello,
I read the sticky and they mentioned moving with roaches to use mothballs in bags. I am planning on using big plastic totes. Can I throw some Gentrol Cards and bait in there as well? What should I do for my couch. I also have 1 month at my current apartment before I get out.
We have sticky traps all over and only caught two by the fridge. We cleaned out everything behind the fridge and stove that we could reach. I put gel bait everywhere I can. We also seem to be the unit dealing with them since we are above an unfinished basement that has lots of gaps and room for them to grow in the ceiling of it.

Hi, i am an disabled Guy who is sitting in a wheelchair, i really enjoy the idea of an disabled Charakter for my next Play Session :D
Maybe someones can make a Mod for it. :D
As wheel hairdriver you have such stats like, - you can Not walk stairs Up... Only down :D - you can Not climb over Things - sometimes you are faster driving wheel hair Downhill) - sometimes you are slower ( for uphill) - slower Turn rate
Some Special abilities for me.. - your wheelchair can carry more Wight, an Generator into the bag? No Problem! - your wheelchair can be upgraded with engine for faster driving, and Spikes to engage Creepers. - because the high, you are less Seen by zeds (Like stealth) - your wheelchair makes less noise (without engine) - wheelchair can be upgraded with extra belt for more Tools or weapons Holding
Its fictional yeah, but i Like that idea

My mother and I have always had a super complicated relationship. I never saw her as the narcissist in our family dynamic. I understood her to be the enabler... Though recent events that involved her playing out her worst fear with her ex husband through myself and my kids, has made me question. She has done permanent damage, and has only offered excuses.
She told me that there was no point in apologizing. She has told me that demons influenced her to be a crappy parent to me. She has claimed she was afraid of my father when I was growing up (which is fair) and that she didn't have the resources to leave him (that part is a lie though). She has told me that I'm beating her over the head with her mistakes, and that now that she might have cancer, that I have to forgive her. She also claimed that because I was upset with her, and was calling her out for it, that I had a narcissistic tool belt, and she didn't deserve to be told she had hurt me. She claimed I was hoovering her, because she continued to offer to help me, and I didn't reject it, but I was still upset with her, and continued to ask for accountability. Is that even what hoovering is? I feel guilty for not rejecting her help, but I know Id also feel guilty if I rejected her, because she would claim I was abandoning her, or that I was giving her the cold shoulder and being abusive.
I tried to converse with her. To tell her I still wanted a relationship, but I didn't know how to move forward after the most recent damage she has inflicted on myself and my kids. I told her that the reality of things will have an impact on my young children into adulthood. She told me that we can't have a relationship, because I will always hold her mistakes over her head... And I was so upset she said that, because that wasn't what this was about.
Looking back, I realize that every time I needed emotional support, she would leave me high and dry, and then blame me for falling apart. She told me that going back to a man who was beating me regularly was my fault, and then tried to recant it. "Well you should have known he'd continue to hit you." She then said that she didn't blame me for going back, and then reiterated that I should have known. She said that every time I would leave, she had to clean up messes behind me, and it was inconvenient for her. That she had helped me so much and so I can't be angry with her... And Im just so hurt and confused.
The fact that she even said that my asking for accountability was me trying to hold "mistakes" over her head hurts. It tells me that we can't have a relationship, because she doesn't actually see the damage she is inflicting on me. She only filters it through how it hurts her... And I feel guilty, because if she does have cancer, and I can't get over this... Then she will die alone, and somehow I feel like that's my fault. It's so twisted.
She is also upset because I moved out. She said I left her holding the bag, and now she can't afford to keep paying her mortgage. She's said that she will end up homeless, sleeping in her car, and she won't be able to afford her medications, and she will die. She has also said she's not blaming me for that... But then she will flip on me again. I can't keep track of when she is or isn't blaming me for her inability to pay her bills. She claims I held her financially hostage, because I was working full time and paying for everything... But when I was doing that, she was telling me all the time about how her heart was weak and she couldn't work like she used to, and that if she did the work she had been doing full time, that it would kill her. My mother does have a weak heart, and she has barely managed diabetes, and so I felt like I needed to take care of her. But now she has a full time job, because I moved out... And now I'm confused, and hurt... And my kids are hurt, but I'm independent of her... But I feel like the bad guy. I don't know.
I'm even kind of afraid to be posting here, because I'm worried that somehow I have misunderstood, or taken what she has said out of context. Or maybe that I am the narcissistic one, and that posting this is some kind of victim complex thing? I don't want to talk about it because I feel guilty, but I also feel like I need to. I need a place to put it, because I'm really fragile right now, and it's not normal to become such an island, and be so isolated. I constantly question if she or other narcissistic people in my life have been right about me, and maybe I'm the problem... Is that normal to doubt my own intentions so drastically and consistently?

Since this sub was so helpful in planning, I wanted to share my itinerary and trip report! We had an incredible first time in Japan and I can't wait to go back.
Couldn't fit our (very detailed) itinerary in this post, but if you'd like to download it's here.
And our shareable Google map is here.
About us:

• We’re New Yorkers in our 30s who have been planning this trip for about 6 months.
• My bf has been learning Japanese for about a year, and I’ve been learning for about 5 months (a mix of Pimsleur and Duolingo).
• Boyfriend is into history and baseball, I'm into skincare and nature, but we’re both big on food so that was our number one priority.
• He has a peanut allergy and avoids all nuts. He learned to say that in Japanese (私はピーナッツアレルギーがあります - "Watashi wa piinattsu arerugī ga arimasu”), and every restaurant and hotel was understanding and careful. Luckily most cuisine is nut-free anyway, but we managed not to have any close calls in 2 weeks which is amazing.

Some overall learnings:

• If I were planning this trip again, I think I would skip Kanazawa. It was a lovely town and the food was amazing, but we wished we had spent that time with a night or two in Osaka instead of just making it a day trip from Kyoto.
• Even if you’re not a baseball fan, Japanese baseball games are so much fun. I’ve never experienced anything like it.
• I packed a suitcase and brought a fold-up duffel bag, and halfway through the trip I moved my clothes to the duffel and just used the suitcase for souvenirs. It was a great idea but we ended up buying an extra suitcase at Donki our last day anyway.
• We both felt a bit underdressed compared to locals, especially in Tokyo. I wish I’d packed more dresses, skirts and trousers and fewer jeans and tees - the only people I saw wearing sweats, athletic wear or cutoffs were other tourists. Obviously you can wear what you want, just be aware you’ll stick out! Also, women are generally more covered up, even on warmer days, to protect their skin from the sun.
• If you go clothes shopping, take your shoes off in dressing rooms. I made a right fool of myself.
• Clothes sizing is wildly different in Japan. Know your cm measurements! Your size here may be hurtful to your ego.
• People line up to get on the train (check the ground for a guide of where to stand) and let everyone off before they get on. This seems obvious, but I’ve been living in New York so long that I wanted to weep tears of joy every time.
• If you’re new to sitting showers: there are two buttons. One is to fill up a bowl of water, and the other is to turn on the handheld shower head. Both automatically turn off a minute after you turn them on, but you can also turn them off manually. You sit on the little stool and there’s usually a mirror in front of you, which is… a humbling experience. There are usually also scrubbing washcloths.
• The worst train station toilet was still nicer than a goddamn Nordstrom bathroom. It was a pleasure to have IBS in Japan.
• At many European and American historical sites, you pay a hefty flat fee to see everything. In Japan, you can usually get into the temple grounds for free, then pay for each individual building you go into. Most were 400-700y/person, which felt really reasonable.
• We came at an almost perfect time (mid-May) weather-wise. Most days it was clear or sunny with a high in the mid-seventies. We definitely got some rain, but less than we were expecting (maybe 3-4 rainy days and 5-6 rainy nights).

Hotel Reviews:
Tokyu Stay Shinjuku Eastside (Tokyo): This was a great basic hotel, close to plenty of transportation and right on the edge of Kabukicho. The buffet breakfast was the highlight - a great mix of Western and Japanese breakfast options, including a great miso soup. Hakone Airu (Hakone): Mixed review here. On the one hand, the in-room onsen and public onsen were both wonderful, and the service was extraordinary. On the other hand, the mix of Balinese and Japanese didn’t quite work, and dinner and breakfast were more confusing than enjoyable. Hotel Alza (Kyoto): By far our favorite stay. I can’t recommend this place enough, and it was definitely worth paying a little extra. They brought us an amazing bento breakfast in our rooms every morning, they had every amenity we could need (they even re-upped the free sheet masks every day), and the micro-bubble bath at the end of a long day of walking was amazing. Koyasan Syukubo Ekoin Temple (Mt Koya): This was a great temple experience. Koyasan in general is obviously pretty tourist-y, but Eko-in still made it feel authentic, and dinner and breakfast were both amazing. Your stay includes a meditation class, morning prayers and a morning fire ritual, and you can pay to attend a cemetery tour, all of which were great. Utaimachi (Kanazawa): We were only here for two nights, but this place was pretty good. Very close to the Higashi Chaya area, where we didn’t actually end up spending much time. Always love tatami mat flooring, and the washedryer was a nice bonus, but we were also right next to the lobby and right under another room so there was some noise. The Gate Asakusa (Tokyo): A great and very Westernized hotel with amazing views of Shinso-ji and the surrounding area. It’s on the top floors of a building right in the middle of all things Asakusa, but is still pretty quiet. And has a wonderful, deep soaking tub with free bath salts.

Tuesday: Arrival, Shinjuku

1 PM: Arrival at Haneda
We got customs and immigration forms to fill out on the plane and everything went fairly quickly. Picked up some cash and Suica cards, went to see about taking the Airport Limousine bus ($10/each) but we should have booked in advance because there wasn’t one for another hour. We ended up taking a taxi (about $50) to our hotel in Shinjuku.
4 PM: Arrival at hotel - Tokyu Stay Shinjuku East Side
We dropped our luggage and went to a nearby eel restaurant, Shinjuku Unatetsu. The eel was incredible and not too filling. Wandered Kabuki-cho for a bit, I dragged my bf through all 4 floors of Don Quijote (I had a list of beauty items to pick up), then rested at the hotel.
7 PM: Dinner in Shinjuku (Tsunahachi)
We went to Tsunahachi for dinner and got some amazing tempura (I wish we had sat at the bar to watch it being made!) and then crashed by 9 pm, because we are young and cool.

Wednesday: Harajuku, Meiji, and Shibuya

7 AM: Hotel breakfast
Up early for hotel breakfast, which has convinced bf to start making miso soup every morning.
9 AM: Shinjuku Station - Pick up JR Passes
We went to Shinjuku station to pick up our JR passes, then spent 30 minutes finding the place where we could get them before 10 AM. There was a long line (staff shortage) so we waited about an hour but we got them and headed to Harajuku.
11 AM: Meiji Shrine & Yoyogi Park
We walked to Meiji Shrine, stopping at the gardens along the way (well worth the 500y entrance fee, especially on a beautiful day). We were lucky to come across a wedding at the shrine. Then we walked around Yoyogi Park a bit.
1 PM: Lunch (Gyoza Lou)
Walked into Gyoza Lou and were seated right away. Incredible gyoza as well as beer and bean sprouts with meat sauce - maybe 10 bucks total for 2 people.
1:30 PM: Shopping/museums in Harajuku
We split up so I could do some shopping in vintage stores - Flamingo, TAGTAG and Kinji (my favorite), and bf could go to the Ota Memorial Museum for their Cats in Ukiyo-e exhibit (which he loved). I walked down Takeshita street to meet him and managed to get a green tea, strawberry and red bean paste crepe from Marion Crepes.
3 PM: Shibuya Scramble & Hachinko Statue
We grabbed the train to Shibuya, saw the scramble and the Hachinko statue, then entered the maze that is Tokyu Hands. I got some onsen powders for gifts and some more cosmetics. My boyfriend checked out the Bic camera store and I went to Gu, which is like the love child of Uniqlo and Primark. I immediately undid all the “light packing” I did with new clothes.
7 PM: Dinner Reservation - Shinjuku Kappu Nakajima
I got us a reservation a few months ago at Shinjuku Kappu Nakajima. It was probably one of the best meals of my life. The omakase came out to less than $100usd each, which felt like a steal.
9 PM: Golden Gai bar (Bar Araku)
We wandered Golden Gai and went into a bar where the entrance fee was waived for foreigners called Bar Araku. It was very small but had great vibes, highly recommend. I drank too much sake, which will be a theme.

Thursday: Shinjuku

4 AM: Earthquake
The phone alerts are insanely loud! We rushed down to the hotel lobby and the only other people there were fellow foreigners - apparently Japanese people at the hotel knew a 5.1 is okay to sleep through.
9 AM: Shinjuku Gyoen
We strolled around in the sun taking photos for about 3 hours. Today is a lot less planned than yesterday - I kind of wish I’d switched the itineraries after how long getting the JR Pass took. We did go to the fancy Starbucks, of course.
12 PM: Lunch (Kaiten Sushi Numazuto)
We tried to go to a nearby sushi place but it was full, so we walked up to Kaiten Sushi Numazuto. We were a little disappointed it wasn’t actually conveyor belt sushi (the conveyor belt was for show and you ordered from the staff). Stopped in Bic camera afterwards for a bit.
2 PM: Ninja Trick House
We tried to go to the Samurai museum but learned it closed a few weeks ago. A good excuse to go to the Ninja Trick House instead. You’re thinking: “Isn’t that place for children?” Yes. Yes it is. And we loved every minute. I now have a camera roll full of myself being terrible at throwing stars. The dream.
3 PM: Don Quijote
More Don Quijote, mostly to get out of the rain. Got my last few beauty products I really wanted and a few souvenirs. An overstimulating heaven.
6 PM: 3-hour Shinjuku Foodie Tour
We signed up for a 3-hour “foodie tour” of Shinjuku that stopped at a sushi place, a Japanese bbq spot with insane wagyu beef, and a sake tasting spot. It was great, and we loved our guide, but wished it had stopped at a few more spots to try more things.
9 PM: Walk around Shinjuku
We attempted to play pachinko, got very confused and lost $7. Tourism!

Friday: Hakone

7 AM: Set up luggage forwarding to Kyoto with hotel
Luggage forwarding is brilliant. We did it twice and it went so smoothly, for about $10 USD per bag. Highly recommend.
9 AM: Transit to Hakone
We got to experience Japanese transit at rush hour. I can’t believe I have to go back to the MTA after this. We took the subway to Tokyo station and then the Shinkansen to Odawara, then a train to Hakone-Yumoto. The hotel was only a 20-minute walk away, so we decided to take a more scenic route - which turned out to be a forest hike straight up switchbacks most of the way.
11 AM: Lunch in Hakone (Hatsuhana)
We stopped in a soba place called Hatsuhana with a system of writing your name down and waiting outside to be called in. They skipped our names because they weren’t in Japanese, but let us in when they realized their mistake. The soba was made and served by old aunties so of course it was insanely good and well worth it.
1 PM: Hakone Open Air Museum
We took the train down to the Hakone Open Air Museum, which lived up to the hype. I’m not normally into sculpture, but seeing it in nature, and the way the museum is laid out, made it incredible. And obviously the Picasso exhibit was amazing.
3 PM: Owakudani, Pirate Ship, Hakone Checkpoint
We took the train to the cable car to Owakudani, then the ropeway to Togendai, then the pirate ship ferry to Motohakone. We were running behind so unfortunately had to rush through the Hakone Checkpoint, which was empty but very cool.
6 PM: Dinner at hotel
Back to our hotel for our kaiseki meal. The staff spoke very little English and Google struggled with the menu, so we had no idea what we were eating half the time, but overall it was pretty good.
9 PM: Onsen time
Experienced my first public onsen, followed by the private onsen in our room. The tatami sleep did wonders for my back.

Saturday: Travel to Kyoto, Philosopher’s Path, Gion

8 AM: Breakfast, travel to Kyoto
Took the train to Odawara and then the Shinkansen to Kyoto station. We booked all of our Shinkansen seats about a week in advance but you can also book them on the day, I believe.
1 PM: Lunch in Gion
Our Kyoto hotel let us check in early, and then we went looking for lunch. Quickly learned that most every place in the Gion area has a line outside and closes at 2! We eventually found a tiny spot with insanely good ramen. It also had chicken sashimi on the menu but we weren’t brave enough.
2 PM: Philosopher’s Path, Ginkaku-ji
We took a bus over to the Philosopher’s Path, which was not busy at all because of the rain. It was pretty, and I could see how great it would look in cherry blossom season. We had to kind of rush to Ginkaku-ji, which was gorgeous nonetheless.
4 PM: Honen-in, Nanzen-ji
Stopped by Honen-in (which we had completely to ourselves, thanks rain!) and then Nanzen-ji. My bf is a big history guy and he went feral for the Hojo rock garden. It was very pretty and I’d love to see it in better weather.
6 PM: Food Tour of Gion & Pontocho
This food tour stopped at two places (an izakaya and a standing bar) with a walking tour of Gion and Pontocho in between. We also stopped at Yasaka shrine and caught a rehearsal of a traditional Japanese performance.
10 PM: Pain
My feet hurt so bad. Bring waterproof shoes, but make sure they don’t have 5 year old insoles. I tried some stick-on cooling acupuncture foot pads I picked up at Donki and they were bliss.

Sunday: Arashiyama, The Golden Pavilion and Tea Ceremony

8 AM: Arashiyama Bamboo Forest
The forecast was for heavy rain all day, but we lucked out and only got a few drizzles here and there. We headed to Arashiyama Bamboo Forest in the morning and it wasn’t too crowded. We did have an amazing bamboo dish at dinner last night so now bamboo makes me hungry.
10 AM: Tenryu-ji, Iwatayama Monkey Park
Headed over to Tenryu-ji, which was very nice but very crowded, and then to one of the things I looked forward to most on the trip, the Iwatayama Monkey Park. It’s a 20 minute hike up there but it is worth it. Oh my god. Getting to feed a baby monkey made my whole week.
12 PM: Lunch near Arashiyama (Udon Arashiyama-tei)
Headed back down to the main road and got duck udon at a little place called Udon Arashiyama-tei. I know I keep calling everything incredible but… yes.
1 PM: Ginkaku-ji
Ran into some bus issues (the first time we experienced anything public transit-wise not running as expected!) but eventually got over to Ginkaku-ji. It was also very crowded (seems like Japanese schools are big on field trips, which I’m jealous of) and not my favorite temple, but beautiful nonetheless.
3 PM: Daitoku-ji
We were ahead of schedule so we got to spend some time at our meeting place for the tea ceremony, Daitoku-ji. It ended up being our favorite temple, especially Daisen-in, a small and very quiet spot with a great self-guided tour. The monks showed us a section normally closed to non-Japanese tourists with beautiful calligraphy.
4 PM: Tea Ceremony (90 mins)
The tea ceremony we booked said it was in groups of up to ten, but it ended up being just us. It was very nice and relaxing, plus we got a little meal.
6 PM: Dinner (Gion Kappa), Pontocho Alley
We both nearly fell asleep on the bus back so we took it easy for the night. Went to an izakaya called Gion Kappa which had the best tuna belly we’d ever eaten, then did a quick walk around Pontocho Alley, got treats at 7-11 and went to bed early.

Monday: Fushimi Inari, Nishiki Market, Kyoto Imperial Palace (kinda)

9 AM: Fushimi Inari
Our plans to get up super early to beat the crowds to Fushimi Imari were hampered by the fact that we are no longer in our 20s. It was packed by the time we got there, and the amount of littering and defacing done by tourists was a bummer.
11 AM: Tofuku-ji
We had planned to go to the Imperial Palace at 10:30 for the Aoi Parade, but decided instead to get away from crowds by hiking from Fushimi Inari to Tofuku-ji, which was beautiful (I’d love to see it in the fall).
12 PM: Nishiki Market, lunch (Gyukatsu)
Grabbed lunch first at Gyukatsu (wagyu katsu - delicious) then wandered Nishiki a bit. It’s touristy, but fun.
2 PM: Kyoto Gyoen, Kyoto Handicraft Center
It was supposed to rain all day but ended up sunny, so we went back to the hotel to drop off our rain jackets and umbrellas. Stepped back outside and within ten minutes it was raining. We went to Kyoto Gyoen and saw the outside of the imperial palace; it was closed because of the parade earlier and half the garden was blocked off because the former emperor was visiting. Without the palace, Kyoto Gyoen is kind of meh. We walked over to Kyoto Handicraft Center which was also meh, but we picked up some nice lacquerware.
7:30 PM: Dinner at Roan Kiku Noi
We had a reservation at Roan Kiku Noi where we had maybe the best meal of our lives. Amazing that it only has two Michelin stars, honestly. Had fun trying to decipher the pain meds aisle at a Japanese pharmacy afterwards and then called it a night.

Tuesday: Day Trip to Nara

8 AM: Travel to Nara
We took the subway to the JR and were there in about an hour.
9 AM: Nara Deer Park
Two things about the Nara deer. One: if you bow to them, they bow back, and it’s very cute. And two, if you buy the 200y rice crackers to feed to them, do it somewhere where there aren’t very many of them. I got mobbed by like 15 deer and bitten 3 times. My fault for having skin approximately the shade of a rice cracker.
10 AM: Kofuku-ji, Nara National Museum
We saw Kofuku-ji and then the Nara National Museum, then stopped at a random little cafe for rice bowls with some kind of regional sauce (I can’t find it now!).
12 PM: Isetan Garden
We spent a long time finding the entrance to the Isetan garden only for it to be closed on Tuesdays.
2 PM: Giant Buddha
Saw Nandaimon Gate and the Daibutsu (giant Buddha), which are both every bit as enormous and glorious as advertised, as well as very crowded.
3 PM: Kasuga-taisha Shrine
Wandered over to Kasuga-taisha shrine, which is famous for its hundreds of lanterns and thousand-year-old trees. There’s a special inner area (paid) where you can see the lanterns lit up in the dark.
4 PM: Wait for the emperor
We got held up by a procession for, guess who, the former emperor again. Stalker.
5 PM: Nara shopping and snacks
Walked around Higashimuki Shopping Street and Mochiidono Shopping Arcade, bought a nice sake set and an amazing little hand-painted cat, ate some red bean paste pancakes and headed back to Kyoto.
7 PM: Dinner in Kyoto
Walked around Pontocho searching for dinner and landed on Yoshina, where we got even more kaiseki. Finished the night at Hello Dolly, a gorgeous jazz bar overlooking the river.

Wednesday: Day Trip to Osaka

7 AM: Depart hotel
Started by taking the subway to the JR. Took us about an hour altogether, though it would have been faster if we’d caught the express.
9 AM: Osaka Castle
We got to Osaka Castle in time for it to hit 85 degrees out. The outside of the castle is gorgeous, but the line to get in was long and I don’t know if the museum parts were worth the wait, especially with the crowds. The view from the top is nice, though.
12 PM: Okonomiyaki lunch (Abeton)
We went to an okonomiyaki spot in Avetica station called Abeton that was full of locals and absolutely bomb as hell.
1 PM: Shitteno-ji, Keitakuen Gardens
We headed to Shitteno-ji (our oldest temple yet) which was nice, though the climb to the top of then 5 story pagoda wasn’t worth the sweat. Then we walked over to Keitakuen Gardens, a small but gorgeous garden in Tennoji Park. Had a nice sit in the shade to digest and plan our next moves.
3 PM: Ebisuhigasbi, Mega Don Quijote
I am a crazy person, so I had to go to the Mega Don Quijote. We walked around Ebisuhigasbi for a while first, and while I was buying gifts in Donki, my boyfriend entered a sushi challenge for westerners (which turned out to just be “can a white boy handle wasabi”) and won a bunch of random crap! Now we own Japanese furniture wipes.
5 PM: Dotonbori & America-mura
We took the Osaka Loop to the Dotonbori area, which was super crowded as expected. We walked around America-mura and enjoyed seeing what they think of us. There are great designer vintage clothing shops here if that’s your thing.
6 PM: Dinner (Jiyuken)
We tried to get into Koni Doraku, a crab restaurant, but they were booked up, so we went to a tiny spot called Jiyuken for curry instead. I would do things for this curry. It was the platonic ideal of curry. It was served by old Japanese aunties from a very old recipe, so we knew it was going to be good, but it exceeded our wildest expectations… for <1000y each.
7 PM: Return to Kyoto
My feet were feeling real bad (the Nikes may look cool but they cannot support 25k steps a day) so we headed back to Kyoto and packed for our early morning tomorrow.

Thursday: Travel to Koyasan, Temple Stay

8 AM: Bus from Kyoto to Koyasan
The transit from Kyoto to Mt Koya is complicated, so we ended up just booking a bus directly from Kyoto Station to Koyasan (which barely cost more than public transit!). We got there bright and early for the 3 hour trip - if you take a bus out of Kyoto Station I definitely recommend giving yourself extra time to navigate to the right bus.
11 AM: Arrive at Eko-in, lunch
We arrived in Mt Koya and checked in to our temple, Eko-in. The quiet and the beauty hit me hard and I fell asleep for a few hours. We got a nice lunch at Hanabishi in town.
4 PM: Meditation class, dinner
The temple offered a meditation class, which was lovely, followed by a vegan dinner in our rooms. I can’t explain how peaceful this place was.
7 PM: Okuno-in Cemetery
We signed up for a monk-led tour of Okuno-in, which was definitely worth it. Came back for some public baths and fell asleep to the sound of rainfall.

Friday: Travel to Kanazawa, Higashi Chaya District

7 AM: Service & ritual at Eko-in
The day started with a religious service and a fire ritual at the temple. Both were stunning. I did wish that my fellow tourists had been a bit more respectful by showing up on time and following directions, but luckily, no one has more patience than a Buddhist monk.
9 AM: Travel to Kanazawa
We took a taxi through some sketchy mountain roads to Gokurakubashi Station, took two trains to Osaka Station, and then the JR Thunderbird to Kanazawa.
1 PM: Arrive at Kanazawa, Lunch (Maimon)
We got into Kanazawa station and went straight for a sushi spot called Maimon, which was delicious. Struggled a bit with the bus system and eventually got to our hotel, Utaimachi.
4 PM: Higashi Chaya District
Wandered the Higashi Chaya district a bit. It seemed kind of dead, but maybe we are just used to the hustle and bustle of Tokyo/Kyoto.
7 PM: Korinbo, dinner (Uguisu)
Walked down to the Korinbo area southwest of the park and found a tiny ramen spot called Uguisu. Incredible. Some of the best broth I’ve ever tasted plus amazing sous vide meats.
9 PM: Bar in Korinbo (Kohaku)
Went to a little upstairs whiskey bar called Kohaku. Boyfriend got Japanese whiskey and they made me a custom cocktail with sake, pineapple and passion fruit that was just insane. They were very nice and talked baseball with us for a while.

Saturday: Omicho Market, Kanazawa Castle, 21st Century Museum

9 AM: Kenroku-en Garden
We walked over to Kenroku-en Gardens, which were as beautiful as advertised. I was hurting pretty bad (crampy ladies, just know Japanese OTC painkillers are much weaker than ours, BYO Advil) so we’re moving slowly today.
12 PM: Omicho Market, lunch (Iki-Iki Sushi)
Walked to Omicho Market and ate little bits from different stalls, then waited about an hour to get into Iki-Iki Sushi. It was worth it. Some of the best, freshest sushi of my life.
2 PM: Kanazawa Castle, 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art
We walked around Kanazawa Castle a bit, then walked over to the 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art. It was packed and the line to get tickets to the special exhibits was crazy, so we looked at the free ones and then headed back. Along the way we stopped in a few little stores and bought some handcrafted lacquerware from a local artist.
6 PM: Onnagawa Festival, dinner (Huni)
As we walked towards the restaurant, we came upon the Onnagawa Festival on the Plum Bridge, which included a beautiful dancing ceremony and lantern lighting. We went to Huni for dinner, our first “westernized Japanese” restaurant, and it was fantastic. 9 dishes served slowly over 3 hours at a table overlooking the river. Highly recommend if you’re in Kanazawa.
10 PM: Why does the bathtub have a phone
We went back to our hotel, struggled with the automated bathtub, and enjoyed our last night on tatami floors.

Sunday: Travel to Tokyo, Tokyo Giants Game, Ueno Park

7 AM: Travel to Tokyo
Grabbed a taxi we arranged the night before to Kanazawa Station - it would have been an easy bus journey but our number of bags has increased - and boarded the Shinkansen for Tokyo.
12 PM: Travel to Tokyo Dome and Tokyo Dome Park
Dropped our bags at our hotel in Asakusa, then headed for Tokyo Dome. We got there a little early to look around - there’s basically a full mall and food court and amusement park there. We grabbed some beers and some chicken katsu curry that was delicious.
2 PM: Tokyo Giants vs Chunichi Dragons
Japanese baseball games are so. much. fun. This was a random mid season game, and the stadium was full and people were amped. I’ve been to many American baseball games and never seen fans this excited. We also scored some fried cheese-wrapped hot dogs on a stick and a few more beers and had the time of our lives cheering for the Giants.
5 PM: Ueno Park
After trying and failing to find the jersey we were looking for, we walked to Ueno Park and looked around a bit. It was lovely, but we were exhausted and full of too many beers, so we headed back to Asakusa.
7 PM: Dinner in Asakusa
There was a festival all day around Shinso-ji and there were a ton of street vendors and day-drunk people when we arrived in the afternoon (as a native Louisianan, I approve) and it seemed like the partiers were going on into the night. We ducked into a restaurant for some buckwheat soba (never got the name, but it was only okay) and tucked in early.

Monday: Tsukiji Food Tour, Kapabashi Dougu, Akihabara

8 AM: 3-hour Tsukiji Food Tour + lunch
We started the day with a Tsukiji food tour, which ended up being my favorite food tour of the 3 by far. The guide was great, and we stopped by a dozen food stalls and sampled everything from mochi to fresh tuna to octopus cakes. We finished with lunch at Sushi Katsura, where our chef prepared everything in front of us.
12 PM: Imperial Palace, Don Quijote
We were planning to spend the afternoon exploring the Imperial Palace and Edo Castle Ruins, but it was hot and the palace was closed, so we walked to Taira no Masakado's Grave, then headed back to Asakusa for, you guessed it, Don Quijote. I did not intend for this trip to be “guess how many Don Quijotes I can visit” but here we are. We bought another suitcase and I filled it with food and gifts to bring home.
3 PM: Kappabashi Dougu
We walked Kappabashi Dougu and browsed kitchenwares while wishing we had a bigger kitchen, an unlimited budget and a way to get a hundred pounds of porcelain home in one piece.
6 PM: Akihabara dinner + games + drinks
We took the train to Akihabara, got dinner at Tsukada Nojo, then played games in a few arcades and ended the night at Game Bar A-button, which lets you play vintage handheld games while you drink.

Tuesday: Senso-ji, Flight

9 AM: Breakfast, Senso-ji
We got breakfast pancakes at Kohikan, then walked around Senso-ji and the surrounding shopping streets for a while.
12 PM: McDonald’s
Look, I couldn’t leave Japan without doing it, okay? I got the Teriyaki Chicken Burger (too sloppy and sweet) and bf got the Ebi Filet-O (he said it tasted exactly like a Filet-O-Fish). It was not great but I deserve that!
3 PM: Cab to the airport
I caught the flu on the flight home and have now been in bed for a week! Welcome back to America, baby.

I don't even know where to start.
We both go to the same university, where we met, and were together for four months total. In the beginning I always had a lot of fun around him and his friends, but I knew that we probably weren't going to end up working out, especially because of the long distance over summer.
The term 'himbo' perfectly describes this man: his lack of general knowledge is astounding. The first time I met him, he didn't know what the word homophobic meant, he didn't know Montana is a state, and he didn't know what paprika was. Throughout our relationship more of these shocking discoveries came to light: he didn't know what a hate crime was, and has almost zero basic historical education. My personal favorite was that he could not name the seven continents. He guessed first The United States, then Alaska, and then corrected Alaska to Argentina. He did end up figuring out Antartica, props to him, but I feel understanding his absolute stupidity is necessary for the story.
At college, anytime I brought him around my friends, he was horrible. Inexplicably horrible. He was on his phone the whole time, did not engage in group conversation, and at times, was actively rude towards my friends. I ignored the red flag, and talked to him about the problem, hoping he would change his behavior (he said he would), but in the few times that he came around my friends I felt incredibly embarrassed by him. His excuse was always that they aren't 'his type of people' and even went to far as to call them obnoxious.
Fast forward to summer, he comes to visit my family for the first, and stays for a week. He treated my family the same way he treated my friends, paying them no mind, and thinking only about himself. Throughout his stay, he cried 3 separate times, in a seemingly manipulative way, managing to end every day on a tense and sour tone. Almost like he wanted to be miserable, and make me miserable. This trip my parents also generously got us Universal tickets, and he did not even thank them, even after I reminded him to. On top of this, he left his stuff scattered around my house, and generally made a mess, which doesn't necessarily bother me, but it was definitely disrespectful.
The next time he visited for just a weekend, but it is where the story gets really interesting. He brought into my house chocolate square edibles, and left them in his bag on the ground. The day prior, I talked to him about the importance of closing my bedroom door (where he was staying) to keep the dogs out, but I was not aware of the weed at this time. Come Sunday, my four girlfriends are at my house hanging out with both of us, and he is acting the same way towards my friends that he always did. Then I noticed my dog acting really weird. My mom wasn't home at the time, so first I called her to get home ASAP, about 20 minutes. In those 20 minutes I was with my extremely sick dog and 7 year old sister on the couch hoping that my dog didn't die before my mom could take her to the vet. My boyfriend walked right past me, and didn't come to sit with me, despite my obvious concern and need for help, until I called him over. He stood behind me, pet the dog twice, and then went into my room to call his friend and watch Fortnite youtube edits.
When my mom got home, she took the dog to the vet, where they first ran a drug panel. It tested positive for THC, caffeine, and Benzos. Remember when I said he left his stuff everywhere- he left packets of RunGum (caffeinated gum for running), and chewed up pieces around my house that my dog got into. The dog also obviously got into his edibles. He still won't admit to the benzos.
Before my mom called me to tell me about what showed up on the tests, or give any update, my boyfriend was frantic. He was yelling "NO!", and "FUCK!" to himself. I didn't really know what to make of it, but looking back, it's clear he knew that whatever happened was due to him, and he did not speak up to tell me, even though my dog would have definitely died without the wonders of modern medicine. By the time my mom calls me with an update about the drug panel, my boyfriend is crying hysterically, making it really hard to get any pertinent information out of him regarding the drugs.
Already this situation is not ideal, and his reaction to it made the problem much worse. I don't say this to be rude, I know that people cannot control their emotions but DAMN I have never seen anyone cry as much as this man does. At this point, my parents want him to be gone before they get back from the vet, but I can't get him to leave because of the emotional turmoil he's going through. I ended up getting my aunt to come over and help me calm him down, because I seriously could not do it alone; he was in crisis. Finally he leaves after his two hour breakdown, but of course this experience caused significant issues in our relationship. He proves disrespectful and self-serving at every intersection.
At this point, my whole family and all my friends wants me to break up with him, and they are certain that we will not work out. As a side note, earlier in the weekend, my boyfriend did not help my mom bring in the groceries, and stole the aux from her when she went to bring the groceries in. In my mind, this is worse than the dog. It was intentional. I agree with them, and after a week, I muster up the courage to call him and break up officially, though we had been rocky, and I think he knew it was coming. I said the words 'I want to break up with you' three times, and each time it got ignored. He begged me to at least go on a break for a few weeks. To give us a chance. I conceded, and decided to sit on it. Much to my surprise, the next day at 3pm I receive the following text from him: "Its over. I'm breaking up with you." I responded, "you're texting me this?", and he said (and I quote), "I can pull the trigger unlike you. Neva cared." NEVA CARED????? That's why you cried for hours?
Well a few hours after he sent those messages, he told me he started to really regret his actions. He called his friends, and they all told him he was stupid, and then he told me he cried again for another 2 hours. He called me later that night and begged me to get back together and go back onto the break, to which I obviously declined. I told him I would not be getting back together with him, but that I would talk to him in two weeks.
This is where, once again, the story becomes really funny. Yesterday I received a tag on a TikTok video from his account posted two years ago. The comment was asking if we were still together, but I thought it was really strange because I never met the person, and they were tagging me on a super old video. My boyfriend, of course responded to the comment and said "we are broken up as of now, but we are going to talk in two weeks". This struck me as really fishy. I called my boyfriends best friend about it, and we came to the conclusion that it was my boyfriends own alt account, and he crafted the comments to get my attention, and probably to remind me that he's thinking about it. Extremely manipulative, but also soooooo funny. That was my final straw. I knew I needed to tell my story, because everything that happened was so fucking crazy.
Also, just for fun, he told me the reason he didn't interact with my friends at my house is because they are "reasonable attractive and he knows how he is with girls, and he didn't want to accidentally flirt with them". He also has no female friends, and no desire to have any. He told me he "wasn't dating me for my looks" and that he doesn't want to date anyone "too attractive". This is the tip of the iceberg, but honestly I don't regret any of it, just for the humor of it all.

"Tim McGraw" Hint: blond guitarist with yellow jacket and red shorts on occasions
He said the way my blue eyes shined
How are her eyes? Needing sleep? So worried for her, she needs to eat more warm food. When she went to Vegas she was panhandling with song and she got $21 or so with her mom after throwing trash on the fountain like Detti soaped the fountain with a bar and got quickly bailed, and after the first girl scolded the security guard after the littering event. But what she earned with her mom that night was for 1 buffet that night. Not for breakfast. How is her mom? How is her makeup supply? She smeared her guitar with kohl from her tears?
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night
What do you mean? No more singers or celebs from Georgia could come to Nashville then/anymore? Or they were blinded by the LED light? Or the constellations put on a veil?
I said, "That's a lie"
Do you really have blue eyes? Or sunflowers are coming? You uplifted the homeowners of Georgia/ I heard real estate was quite affordable there. But your penthouse is $15K a month - does that include Lisa's 1800GOTJUNK services?
Just a boy in a Chevy truck
How old? Legal to drive? Tall enough to drive that truck? No limb fractures? Eye health OK? Is he wearing his mascot costume, eg Banana SLUG? Sun Devil? Blue Devil? Cardinal?
That had a tendency of gettin' stuck
How? Elmer's glue? Gorilla glue? Uhu?
On back roads at night
Oh, did you have special car lights on like according to the DMV book? And where did the back roads lead to - the stones?
And I was right there beside him all summer long
Why do you expect me to be with my date 24 hours all summer long? How can one date practice swimming in the pool when I am singing a duet with Alicia Keys or Beyonce on my phone in the gym nearby? How can another date earn money for us by Uber Eats while I'm at the office for Uber? How can a third date play tennis while I bargain with the sports store salesman about getting Penn balls vs Onix balls? How can a fourth date record his song in the studio while I coordinate the concert venue? How can fifth date comfort a downcast kid - not her own - with a Happy Birthday song while the peer circle arrange the audiovisual equipment on stage called Rhino Co.?
And then the time we woke up to find that summer gone
"When September Ends" was a cool song? Are you Sleeping Beauty? Who fought the dragon and the thicket for you? Who woke up the castle crew for you? Did you eat pufish? Who almost found a cliffhanger for you? So... what are you going to do in the Fall (Sem.)?
But when you think Tim McGraw
So you had his EP like Goodbye, Norma Jean single in CD? Cool. On Autoloop? What do you like about his songs?
I hope you think my favorite song
Which one? What do you love about it?
The one we danced to all night long
How many hours of dancing? How many calories burned? Was it like with Ed Sheeran for Perfect? What did you wear? What did he wear? Where did you dance? How many stars were in the sky that night? What styles of dancing did you do? How was "Loki" and "...Wonderland strummer"?
The moon like a spotlight on the lake
Cool poetry. Who do you think is worthy of performing on stage? Of having the spotlight? By the way, which lake were you talking about? Do you want to get an MFA degree and upon the conferral, you can write/perform for Equine Therapy Ranches where kids with sadness may go?
When you think happiness
Do you like Gretchen Rubin's work? Do you like Pharell's song, which is on Wii? What do you think of the emoticon deodorant?
I hope you think that little black dress
Do you know Jomaire Studio's sister in a little black dress and black stilettos for weddings? What do you think about Meghan Markle in a little black dress at a baseball game? I liked the white belt a lot.
Think of my head on your chest
Got the ALS challenge? How long did you have to wait for it? I thank Coleman too for supporting the neighborhood around Galleria, which had a cafe and their version of Sparkletts.
And my old faded blue jeans
Can anyone help her get Wrangler jeans? Or Rock Republic trousers? Or jeggings eg from the pharmacy? Or Old Navy blue denims?
When you think Tim McGraw
How often do you think of his name/face? Why? Do you pray for him?
I hope you think of me
Do you like Phantom of the Opera? What do you think if her dress? What if there was a modern version for Jabbawockeesz?
September saw a month of tears
What kind of tears? Was it because of first day of school again?
And thankin' God that you weren't here
Oh, what were the advantages of him not being "there"?
To see me like that
Were you wearing makeup in September - and what brands if so? Did you lose much weight in the summer(s)?
But in a box beneath my bed
Is it from ULine? Was the bed from Ikea or from Sleep Number?
Is a letter that you never read
I remember I had letters foregarding different people, like one of the top human/child traffickers of China and one on a cover for a football player and some for a farmer and some for a colleague and I regret one which was like under hypnosis (I praised his enumeration of "Crayola") - which I sent to someone whom I wanted to say goodbye and I found him as a storekeeper who shooed me away, as a guy who hung around the doorway of my bedroom at 3 am or so, as a guy wanting to know how to get a Peruvian passport, as a guy who bragged abou eating cat dumpling, maybe trying to gain 9 lives (is that the canned cat food?).
From three summers back
Oh you met him at around university? Thanks for your loyalty.
It's hard not to find it all a little bittersweet
You like Dove dark chocolate like fortune cookies? The Ghirardelli dark cocoa squares? The dark chocolate bars by the checkouts of dollar stores? The dark chocolate at the airports? Do you like black coffee? Like Colombian coffee? Do you like Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You"?
And lookin' back on all of that, it's nice to believe
How often and how long do you go into nostalgia? Did you do Throwback Thursday posts?
When you think Tim McGraw
What do you share about Tim McGraw?
I hope you think my favorite song
What is your favorite song, if it's okay to ask?
The one we danced to all night long
Was it a country song? Fast? Duet? With banjos or fiddles? Any props when you danced?
The moon like a spotlight on the lake
What was the phase of the moon then?
When you think happiness
What three things minimum would you do today to be happy?
I hope you think that little black dress
How is your weight (I am concerned with your photos, and you look like a politician in a Christmas green dress in front of a mic, with empty row before her)? When did you buy that little black dress (the song's topic) for yourself? Waist size? Do you think Lululemon or Walgreens leggings would go well with it, like a ballerina?
Think of my head on your chest
Did you have to sanitize the Coleman? What was in it?
And my old faded blue jeans
What brand? When did you buy it? Was it fashionably torn?
When you think Tim McGraw
Someone said he has an MBA - would you be inspired to get an MBA degree as well?
I hope you think of me
What are your three hopes before the weekend? And when someone remembers you, what are the top three qualities of yours that people can publish/televise/discuss/promote action about you?
And I'm back for the first time since then
Where did you return? How?
I'm standin' on your street
What have you been wearing on that street? How long/what time have you been standing there?
And there's a letter left on your doorstep
Can you summarize the letter in a Tweet? What's the color of the envelope? Does it need the HMat?
And the first thing that you'll read is:
What is the first thing that you think of every morning? And every sunset?
"When you think Tim McGraw I hope you think my favorite song Someday you'll turn your radio on
What is your favorite radio show and your favorite radio channel? Your favorite song on the radio? Who is your favorite DJ? I hope it takes you back to that place"
What place? How does it look like?
When you think happiness I hope you think that little black dress Think of my head on your chest And my old faded blue jeans When you think Tim McGraw I hope you think of me
Oh, think of me Mmmm
He said the way my blue eyes shined Put those Georgia stars to shame that night I said, "That's a lie"
Whom do you accuse to be lying?

Granted these are cats who used to live pee EVERYWHERE before the LR3 but it’s annoying. I currently have a cargo tray underneath but it would be nice to not have to hose it down daily. There is enough litter and the bag is changed every 2-3 days for 2 cats.