The Alexis Patterson case has some similarities to the Asha Degree case as she was also thought to have runaway after an upsetting event. Family involvement is also suspected.
7 year old Alexis Patterson was in the first grade at Hi-Mount Community School and resided less than one block away with her mother and stepfather, Ayanna and LaRon Bourgeois, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
The day before her disappearance, Alexis’ mom and stepbrother went to the Jewel-Osco grocery store to purchase cupcakes for her class. However, it was reported that since Alexis didn’t complete her homework, she would no longer be allowed to take the cupcakes to school the following day. Alexis was reportedly upset about this as she had been counting on taking them to school the day she disappeared.
Usually, Alexis’ stepfather doesn’t take her to school, but on May 3, 2002, he did. At 7:40 AM, Alexis’ stepfather, LaRon walked her to Hi-Mount Community school. LaRon said that he watched Alexis walk towards the playground before he headed back to their residence. Although students reported seeing her crying on the playground before and after school, Alexis never attended classes during the day. She was carrying a pink Barbie doll book bag and was wearing white Nike high-top tennis shoes, a purple blouse and blue jeans. She has never been heard from again.
Ayanna and LaRon were not notified about Alexis' absence until after her school dismissed in the afternoon. During the search, 3 days after her disappearance, Milwaukee Chief of Police stated he felt Alexis ran away due to the disagreement over the cupcakes that morning she went missing. However, she does not have a history as a runaway and had a perfect attendance record at school prior to her disappearance.
The surrounding areas were searched immediately after Alexis was reported missing. Investigators canvassed nearby Washington Park while divers searched its lagoon. Authorities focused on numerous areas but no evidence was discovered at any of the locations. By May 14th, Investigators announced that Alexis disappeared under suspicious circumstances and reclassified her case from a missing child to a criminal investigation.
Witness Reports
One week before Alexis’ disappearance, teachers had seen her talking with a “random lady” outside of the school. Her mother spoke with her about not talking with strangers. Two days later, the same woman was seen outside the school trying to talk with Alexis again. Some of Alexis’ classmates later reported to police there was a red truck parked outside of the school for about a week, that sat in the parking lot and did not pick up or drop off any student. The red truck was no longer seen again once Alexis was reported as missing. It has not been identified and it is unknown if it is connected to her case.
The Other Missing Girl
Much like the Asha Degree case, Alexis received heavy local media coverage in her city and search efforts. For months, volunteers would search the city daily for Alexis. Utilizing K-9 units, they walked down paths and through buildings, and looked around local bodies of water. Then, on June 5, 2002, 14 year old Elizabeth Smart’s missing person case took precedence nationwide; A white 14 year old girl who was abducted from her bedroom in Utah. Elizabeth received coverage within hours of the reporting of her disappearance. It took 8 days for Alexis’ story to attract attention outside of Milwaukee, with a segment on America’s Most Wanted. Unfortunately, all coverage for Alexis was significantly reduced, with only around 67 reports on Alexis, and over 400 for Elizabeth. There was a FBI reward for $250,000 for Elizabeth Smart, while there was only $10,000 reward for Alexis Patterson.
Alexis, found?
In 2016, a man named Joshua Miller, from Bryan, Ohio, contacted the Milwaukee Police Department with claims that his ex wife, Lisa Miller, may be the missing Alexis Patterson. There were several interesting elements as to why he believed Lisa may be Alexis, there were also some striking similarities between the two. The only problem was there was a huge age discrepancy as Lisa was seven years older than Alexis would have been. Additionally, Lisa did not believe she was the missing Alexis Patterson. She provided her passport, birth certificate and other supporting documentation to law enforcement to prove this. The DNA test that officials took revealed there was no match. Even with the negative result DNA test that was administered through law enforcement, Ayanna still believed Lisa was her daughter, Alexis.
Alexis' biological father, Kenya Campbell, was imprisoned in Milwaukee at the time of her disappearance. He was released shortly afterwards and cooperated with authorities. Years later in 2014, he plead guilty to two counts of child abuse, and recklessly causing great bodily harm after another daughter of his, an 8-month-old child, was admitted to the emergency room at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin. He smashed her head. Broke her jaw. Cracked her rib. Lacerated her liver. He was sentenced to 15 years in prison.
Alexis's stepfather has a criminal history as well, he had a history of drug abuse and dealing. Most notably, on October 28, 1994, he was the getaway driver for a bank robbery which resulted in a Glendale Police Officer, Ronald Hedbany, being shot and killed. LaRon was granted immunity for his testimony. The Milwaukee Police Department did double down on LaRon and Ayanna, which is typical due to starting the search from within with family.
LaRon also failed a polygraph test specifically certain elements regarding whether or not he has knowledge of Alexis’ whereabouts. On April 15, 2003, LaRon was charged with battery and disorderly conduct over allegations of abusing Ayanna. In the criminal complaint, Patterson said Bourgeois had been selling drugs and “pimping several other women”. Ayanna described LaRon as abusive and threatening towards her, and he was ordered to stay away from her. The criminal charges were later dropped, however. Former sheriff of the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office, David Clarke, believes LaRon was involved, but says the authorities haven’t been able to prove it with the evidence they’ve uncovered. He feels that Alexis was never dropped off at school, or on school grounds the morning she disappeared.
LaRon and Ayanna divorced in 2005. He would go onto remarry, and in 2021, LaRon and his wife, Michelle Bourgeois, were found deceased in their home, by a relative. It was said that the cause of death was determined to be from a drug overdose.
Foul play is suspected in Alexis Patterson’s case, and her mother, Ayanna still believes she is alive. Her disappearance remains unsolved.

Story about a novelist and his daughter, Chise-chan, elementary school girl in Tokyo. Because Chise's mama died when she was very young, papa takes care of her. She loves papa so much that she carries papa's photo at a magazine interview instead of the idol stars' photos, and she's very happy that her papa's working at home because that way she can be with papa almost all the day... ... Read Papa Told Me - Chapter 95.2 - MangaPuma. Read more at https://mangapuma.com/papa-told-me/chapter-95-2

And now we have another mass school shooting, this time in Tennessee with three 9-year-old girls dead as well as 3 adults. Immediately followed by another pathetic Republican congressman claiming that Congress can’t do a thing.
A community is grieving, schoolkids across America are terrified, and after 130 mass shootings in the first 87 days of this year — 33 of them in schools and colleges — you’d think average Americans would finally understand the horrors of the gun violence Republicans in Congress and on the Supreme Court have inflicted on us.
This is a phenomenon as systemic and unique to the United States today as Jim Crow was in the 1950s. The gun control movement needs to learn from the Civil Rights movement.

Back in 1955, young Black people like 14-year-old Emmett Till were routinely murdered by white people all over America, usually with no consequence whatsoever.

Emmett Till was kidnapped by two Mississippi white men, brutally tortured, murdered, and his mangled body was thrown into the Tallahatchie River. (And the white men who did it, and the white woman who set it off with a lie, never suffered any consequence.*)

His mother, Mamie Bradley, made the extraordinarily brave decision to show her child’s mutilated face with an open-coffin funeral in their hometown of Chicago.

Jet magazine ran a picture you can see here of Emmett, which went viral, invigorating the Civil Rights movement as it horrified the nation. As President Biden said last month, honoring the release of the new movie Till:

“JET magazine, the Chicago Defender and other Black newspapers were unflinching and brave in sharing the story of Emmett Till and searing it into the nation’s consciousness.”

That picture made real the horrors of white violence against Black people in America for those who were unfamiliar, or just unwilling, to confront it.

We’ve all heard about Newtown and Stoneman Douglas and Las Vegas, but have you ever seen pictures of the bodies mutilated by the .223 caliber bullets that semi-automatic assault weapons like the AR15 fire?

Chest x-ray of young girl suffering from #1 cause of death in children / adolescents in the U.S., source

The odds are pretty close to zero; most Americans have no idea the kind of damage such weapons of war can do to people, particularly children.
But we need to learn.

In the 1980s, egged on by partisans in the Reagan administration, America’s antiabortion movement begin the practice of holding up graphic, bloody pictures of aborted fetuses as part of their demonstrations and vigils.

Their literature and magazines, and even some of their advertisements, often carry or allude to these graphic images.

Those in the movement will tell you that the decision to use these kinds of pictures was a turning point, when “abortion became real“ for many Americans, and even advocates of a woman’s right to choose an abortion started using phrases like “legal, safe, and rare.“

Similarly, when the Pulitzer Prize-winning photo of 9-year-old “Napalm Girl” Phan Thị Kim Phúc running naked down a rural Vietnamese road after napalm caught her clothes on fire was published in 1972, it helped finally turned the tide on the Vietnam War.

Showing pictures in American media of the result of a mass shooter’s slaughter would be a controversial challenge.

There are legitimate concerns about sensationalizing violence, about morbid curiosity, about warping young minds and triggering PTSD for survivors of violence.
And yet, pictures convey reality in a way that words cannot. One of these days, the parents of children murdered in a school shooting may make the same decision Mamie Till did in 1955.
America’s era of mass shootings kicked off on August 1, 1966 when Charles Whitman murdered his mother and then climbed to the top of the clock tower at the University of Texas and begin shooting.
The vast majority of our mass killings, however, began during the Reagan/Bush administrations following the 1984 San Ysidro, California McDonald’s massacre, the Edmond, Oklahoma Post Office shooting of 1986, and the Luby’s Cafeteria massacre in Killeen, Texas in 1991.
We’ve become familiar with the names of the places, and sometimes the dates, but the horror and pain of the torn and exploded bodies has escaped us.

It’s time for America to confront the reality of gun violence. And all my years working in the advertising business tell me that a graphic portrayal of the consequences of their products is the greatest fear of America’s weapons manufacturers and the NRA.

We did it with tobacco and drunk driving back in the day, showing pictures of people missing half their jaw or mangled and bloody car wreckage, and it worked.

And now there’s a student-led movement asking states to put a check-box on driver’s licenses with the line:

“In the event that I die from gun violence please publicize the photo of my death. #MyLastShot.” This isn’t, however, something that should just be tossed off, or thrown up on a webpage.

Leadership from multiple venues in American journalism — print, television, web-based publications — should get together and decide what photos to release, how to release them, and under what circumstances it could be done to provide maximum impact and minimum trauma.

But Americans must understand what’s really going on.

A decade ago, President Obama put then-VP Joe Biden in charge of his gun task force, and Joe Biden saw the pictures from school shootings back then.
Here’s how The New York Times quoted then-Vice President Biden:

“‘Jill and I are devastated. The feeling — I just can’t imagine how the families are feeling,’ he said, at times struggling to find the right words.”

Obama himself, after seeing the photos, broke into tears on national television.

And we appear to be tiptoeing up to the edge of doing exactly this. Yesterday’s Washington Post featured an article about what happens when people are shot by assault weapons and included this commentary:

“A Texas Ranger speaks of bullets that ‘disintegrated’ a toddler’s skull. “This explains the lead poisoning that plagues survivors of the shooting in Sutherland Springs, Tex.; David Colbath, 61, can scarcely stand or use his hands without pain, and 25-year-old Morgan Workman probably can’t have a baby. It explains the evisceration of small bodies such as that of Noah Pozner, 6, murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary, and Peter Wang, 15, killed at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High. The Post examined the way bullets broke inside of them — obliterating Noah’s jaw and Peter’s skull, filling their chests with blood and leaving behind gaping exit wounds.”

But we need to go the next step and show the actual pictures for this truth about the horror of gun violence to become widely known. Doing this will take leadership.

And, of course, there must be a Mamie Bradley: a parent, spouse or other relation willing to allow the photos of their loved one to be used in this way.

In 1996 there was a horrific slaughter in Tasmania, Australia, by a shooter using an AR15-style weapon, culminating a series of mass shootings that had plagued that nation for over a decade.

While the Australian media generally didn’t publish the photos, they were widely circulated.

As a result the Australian public was so repulsed that within a year semi-automatic weapons in civilian hands were outlawed altogether, strict gun control measures were put into place, and a gun-buyback program went into effect that voluntarily took over 700,000 weapons out of circulation.

And that was with John Howard as Prime Minister — a conservative who was as hard-right as Ronald Reagan!
In the first years after the laws took place, firearms-related deaths in Australia fell by well over 40%, with suicides dropping by 77%. There have only been two mass killings in the 27 years since then.
The year 1996 was Australia’s Emmett Till moment.
America needs ours.
https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/photographs-of-child-victims-of-mass-shootings
*Carolyn Donham - Emmett Till
https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/125x2z5/it_is_time_to_show_the_american_people/

5-year-old fatally shoots 16-month-old brother at Indiana apartment

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/16-month-old-boy-dies-gunshot-wound-indiana-apartment-rcna77153
https://www.reddit.com/news/comments/125x58m/5yearold_fatally_shoots_16monthold_brother_at/

The Nashville Shooter’s Arsenal Makes a Mockery of US Gun Laws

https://www.vice.com/en/article/n7evwx/nashville-shooting-gun-laws
https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/125q80z/the_nashville_shooters_arsenal_makes_a_mockery_of/

This is America

https://i.redd.it/7w5tallt5sqa1.jpg
https://www.reddit.com/oddlyterrifying/comments/125zxgo/this_is_america/
[INDIA]

Hate speeches will go away when politicians stop using religion in politics, says Supreme Court

https://indianexpress.com/article/india/hate-speeches-politics-religion-sc-contempt-plea-8525908/ https://www.reddit.com/india/comments/125o0j6/hate_speeches_will_go_away_when_politicians_stop/

I was never told there was something formally wrong with me growing up. I just survived elementary and high school with no achievements or any good academic standing above 60's. I have a learning disability but with strong ADHD symptoms that I'm trying to get re assessed for.
I've never seen myself in a positive light, I've never held a job without being fired for never staying on top of things, lack of attention and word comprehension. Every sport I play, no matter how hard I try, I'm never above mediocre. I've been playing a goaltending position in hockey and I still suck after 13 years, as well as failing college and work performances. I'll explain why
My nightmare came true when I got access to documentation from my youth on psychological assessments, the results are grim
95% of all characteristic's that make someone a functioning member of society I fall below average or very low. Here's where I fall very low on:
Executive functioning
Organization (very low)
Oral Comprehension
Following Directions
Processing speed (very fucking low)
Hand eye co-ordination
Task initiation
Information retrieval
Short term memory
Anxiety
I have weird behaviours and people make fun of me for them and relatives get angry when I do it uncontrollably (fidgeting, such as moving my hands, or moving my leg).
The only thing I did somewhat fine in spelling. But what good does that do me amongst so many things I'm unable to do. Sure I found out my shortcomings over everything I can't do are disability related but I feel like there is nothing I can do... I'm not medicated and where I am wait times are very long. How am I supposed to feel good about myself when I'm literally inferior in brain functioning? My self esteem becomes worse when I got shunned by teachers and publicly humiliated by them for my organizing skills and my lack of complete assignments as if I have nothing wrong with me. My only accommodation I was given was a different test room in exams, and some other peers who had IEP's like myself are doing so much better then me, they have traveled, can problem solve, can work competently, sail through college, live independently, and make money. No matter how much effort I put into doing the most basic work, I somehow manage to fuck up to the point where bosses have enough of my embarrassing behavior and fire me. I get it every time "Hey X, you're a grea guy and all but..." You know what... I'm glad I flunked a 2 year college obtaining a less 1.00 GAA because the thought of me doing tech work and staying on top of things long term and living independently, and getting out of crippling credit card debt sounds alien, and unfathomably impossible. I can't work because I can't stay on top of things, I'm a horrible driver because I can't process things around me, I can't play sports because I have co-ordination issues, I cant go to school because I can't pay attention, I can't obtain personal achievements in life because I can't stick to things long term
I'm gonna de either jobless living with my parents, or on the streets, I know it's frowned upon to 'give up' but it's not due to lack of trying.
Dear teachers from HS
You like to belittle me and rob my childhood by treating me like a fuckup, and I'm just what you call "rigidly and incorrigibly lazy". Well fucking teacher, how am I lazy when I try just as hard as my peers but they do things like it's second nature, yeah I know I forgot to do the assignments buddy but I also forgot to brush my teeth, trim my nails, eat dinner yesterday, and tie my shoe laces. Yeah guy, I know I'm not as competent as my peers, I'm sorry for that, no, it's not that I "don't care", or I'm lazy, I have a fucking disability (multiple most likely) that make me do everything bad, and you're not doing anything about it. If I'm expected to do this un-accommodated then I'll self loathe justifiably because my future is already mapped out for me. I try probably more harder getting through school than you do teach.
Tell me I can't self loathe, maybe it's easier to see myself differently if I wasn't so damn depressed, waking every day at 12pm unemployed for 2 years after flunking out of college and nobody thought of getting me assessed for ADHD or ASD despite the ton of red flags on my transcripts...

Virtually every school district except Detroit public schools and Macomb County is on spring break this week. All of Oakland County. The big Wayne County districts (Livonia, Plymouth Canton, etc.). All of Washtenaw County. Things will be back to normal next week. A NOTE FOR ROOKIES WHO HAVE BEEN DRIVING FOR LESS THAN A YEAR: This is what summer is going to be like, except there will be more action at night. Plan accordingly. Grind and stack up cash during the next two months, April was my best month last year @$9500. UNDERBID YOUR QUESTS THIS WEEKEND. Should be lots of Sunday airport action if that's your thing.

Sorry this is super long
Demographics: Indian Male, suburban very competitive public high school in the Bay Area, graduating class of 500+, upper-middle-class family, no financial aid necessary
Intended Majors: Double Major in Mechanical Engineering and Business
Stats: 3.82 UW/ 4.4-4.5 W(school does not weight) (Second sem freshmen year was pretty bad but ever since then I’ve only gotten 1 B), School does not do ranks
SAT: 1430 (M:750, E:680) planning to retake
Coursework: 3 AP’s in school currently (APUSH, APENG, AP PHYS 1), 2 self-study APs (AP Micro, AP Macro), 2 Dual Enrollment (Spanish, BS054), 8 Honors Taken (all that were available to me so far), Taken all business classes offered at my school as 0 periods during both Sophomore and currently Junior year. No APs are offered at my school in Freshmen and Sophomore years other than AP Languages with preference given to Juniors and Seniors.
Awards: (random order) 1. 2023 DECA Districts Written 1st Place 2. 2023 DECA Districs Roleplay 2nd Place 3. 2023 DECA States Roleplay Finalist 4. Top 10/106 Regionally VBC Hotel 2023 Round 2 5. Top 30/272 Teams Nationally VBC Hotel 2023 Round 2 6. First Tech Challenge (FTC) Deans List Semi-Finalist 2023 7. Robotics Team Awards (Semifinalist Alliance Captain, Semifinalist Alliance Captain, Think Award 2rd Place, Inspire Award 3rd Place, Innovate Award sponsored by Raytheon Technologies 3rd Place, Finalist Alliance Captain)
Extracurriculars: (I’m sorry 😭😭😭, random order kinda)

1. Co-Founder, Build and Design Team Lead, Driver, and Team Captain of my FTC Robotics Team and 501(c)3 Non-Profit with Benevity (2500+ hours on Fusion 360 across 5 years, Solely responsible for creating new designs, inventorying old designs, backing-up designs, merging designs, and creating individual files for each complied design for over 150 different self-made projects, Coached FLL team that made it to regionals, Coached an FTC team that made it to the finalist alliance and semifinalist alliance in two qualifiers in their rookie year, Raised $10k including $5k from Apple, Created coding and engineering curriculum for local elementary schools and reached out to teach, Created a coding curriculum for unprivileged students in Romania and reached out to an organization in the UK to help organizations access to resources for children in African countries so we could teach them coding with the same curriculum, Neural Networks(Machine Learning) for Computer Vision, In collaboration with other local FTC teams, we created a curriculum for and taught neurodivergent students coding throughout the high school, Taught annual robotics webinar with 50+ attendees totaling around 125)
   
2. Worked with a non-profit created by friends during the summer to create a coding curriculum currently used in 11 countries and personally taught 50 children in the Bay Area
   
3. Social Media Manager for the 2020 Town Mayoral Campaign (sole manager of the campaign social media page, town of 240,000+ residents, gained 25.2% of all votes against current mayor who was rerunning, represented an openly gay mid-20’s candidate)
   
4. DECA (started through DECA program at middle school, finally completed requirements to compete and started competing sophomore year, was unable to attend states that year due to family matters)
   
5. Co-Owner of a business (valued at 30 million, CRN 250 Fastest growing business, Family Business my dad started in 2016 with my uncles, did a full brand image change for them and redid the wireframe for our entire website which is currently being developed, traveled across the country to participate in conferences discussing deals with possible clients including federal, was given partial ownership for my contributions)
   
6. Entrepreneurship Competitions (Competed in the Diamond Challenge (2021) and the Conrad Challenge (2021) as a freshman, Competed in the Blue Ocean Competition (2022 and 2023))
   
7. Co-Founder and Vice-President of Marketing at Medical Club at school (Advertised the club from having only 4 members to having over 150 at our introductory meeting with a current membership of 60+, educate students on various medical career paths while providing experience opportunities, Members can participate in workshops, labs, discussions, research and shadowing opportunities, guest lectures, and internships, Strategically designed social media posts to increase participation by 300%, Communicate with professionals in the medical field to create opportunities for members to witness the medical field)
   
8. Consulting (worked with an internationally acclaimed business on video editing, content creation, blog writing, marketing, advertising, networking, and expanding their community by over 60%)
   
9. Car Club Photographer (Hobbies, Aiding in the planning and documenting of monthly car meets hosted at my school, used to network and meet new people as well as further my knowledge about cars, I want to go into the automotive industry)
   
10. 300+ volunteer hours (undocumented but can be documented if necessary
    
11. Pwnisher’s “Endless Engines” (Hobby, Competed in a 3D animation competition run by YouTuber Pwnisher, Faced 4,200+ other competitors many of whom do similar 3D animation as a career, Put in over 200 hours across 3 weeks)
    

**Certifications:” Entrepreneurship, Marketing II, Robotics II (all issued by YouScience)
Schools: UIUC (double major) University of Washington (double major), Carnegie Mellon, Northwestern University, University of Michigan - Ann Arbor (double major), Babson, MIT, Harvard, Stanford, Cal Tech, Georgia Tech, Duke, Colombia, Boston University, Every UC Except Merced and Riverside, CSU Long Beach, SDSU, SJSU
edit: forgot to put schools lmfao

I couldn't be feeling anymore sad or upset about my current situation and I feel I need to get some much-needed support and kind advice because I am starting to feel at a complete loss for what to do so this is my story:
I am a 28-year-old woman who feels forced to be at home because of her parents, especially due to my mother's codependency. I recently spoke to my parents about wanting to move out of the house. I saved up some money, I am now getting into a decent-paying job and I have pretty good discernment. However, in my parent's eyes, especially with my mother, they feel that my moving out before marriage, is equated to being forever condemned and being disrespectful. When I had the conversation with them, it was extremely manipulative and gaslighting. It is like being a single unmarried woman is a death sentence in the family. They constantly compared me to other women around my age or older who still live with their parents, and to those who got married first and moved out and reported how much more respect you get when it is done that way. They made it seem like it was "ok" for me to go but my dad and mom mentioned bringing shame to the family, being heartbroken, that I will be judged and looked at with disrespect, that no man will marry or respect a woman who leaves the house before marriage, that I will no longer be serious with my boyfriend and oh, the cherry on top is that if I move out, I won’t be able to come back home if I needed to…
So yeah I cried, I’m hurt, I’m confused and now I don’t know what’s right to do anymore. I didn’t want to leave home to not have a relationship with my parents, never my intention. They made it seem like I’m leaving them as if I’m abandoning them, which is not true at all. I want to have a relationship with my parents and I still want to be able to visit and for them to visit me. I still want to be able to speak with them and be cordial, but apparently, they abandoned me. And they justified it by saying “ it’s your choice that you are leaving before you are married. We didn’t kick you out of the house or pressured you. If you think you’re so grown and mature that you can live out in the real world when all crazy things are happening, therefore, you won’t be able to come back.” So they made me more fearful now to even do so.
My mom just recently told me “even if you stay or go, I am already living my life as if I do not have a daughter anymore. I can find someone else (e.g. another girl cousin of mine or my brother) to be that person for me”. She started crying and saying how she and my dad did everything for me for my schooling and my life and how I basically hurt her badly by defying what’s right and she went ahead and said that my father said to her that he felt he was going to have a “heart attack” today because of my mention of wanting to move out. My mom told me all these things about how she and my dad have medical conditions (diabetes and hypertension) and that if he dies or if she dies for some reason, they will be miserable and will have "no daughter to help them". So my words basically are hurting my parents so much and I feel like I am the glue to their own resiliency.
Deep down I know I want to move out soon and get away from the toxicity but it's like I feel stuck and terrified that doing so means I will forever jeopardize my relationship with my parents indefinitely and that is not what I ever wanted in the first place. It makes me feel like moving out is a selfish thing to do. My mom says that I hurt her and my father to the point of physical pain, but it's like my own hurt doesn't exist in their eyes. Ever since this happened, I have been ridden with extreme anxiety, I have been chronically crying, I have been having a lot of negative thoughts about myself, I haven’t been sleeping well and I see myself getting myself into a bad depression... every time I am around my mom, I get mini anxiety attacks and heart palpitations, I feel so much like a little girl and inadequate. I can’t believe she was so quick to just disown me like that of her daughter…
I truthfully feel like I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I move out and if I ever cause my parents extreme stress and physical pain because I know they been through a lot. But since I was younger and in elementary school, all I ever been was my mom’s shoulder when she went through her issues and when she was crying about my dad’s behaviors. And all I ever been to my ndad was support him whenever he would tell me threats of wanting to hurt himself and he choose me to say all those suicidal things to me as the youngest in the family, not even to my older brothers, only to me….
But still, I feel the most incredible amount of guilt and shame, and now I don’t know what else to do but to just listen to them and act complacent to diffuse anymore confrontation because, to me, they made it very clear that I owe them my emotions. I don’t want to be ostracized by them for leaving but I also feel I staying will make me continue to feel depressed.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years we had in incident with my best friend about three years ago where she brought up a boy crush I had back in middle school. We were all together at a bonfire when she said this. She said something along the lines of the kid you had a crush on got ugly. I go which said “ oh really I don’t know”. Well that set my boyfriend for the next three years. He took it as I still thought the kid was cute but In reality I just never paid attention also it was a middle school crush. Im not interested in hearing it also I know my best friend was joking and trying to make fun of me. It got to the point where he didn’t want to be around her and he always said I defended her that night but I honestly didn’t I told my friend he didn’t like the joke but also it was middle school. Like were grown adults no one cares about middle school at this point. I tried to understand him I told him he wouldn’t have to be near her or go to any Events where she would be present. We agreed. Fast forward to now once in awhile when we argue he’ll throw in the fact that I defended her and always pick my friends over him. But In all honestly she’s been my one of my best friend since elementary school and we’ve always had eachothers back and I told him I was not going to cut her off because he hates her. It’s not even that I hang out with her a lot she has her boyfriend we talk here and there and she doesn’t talk bad on my. Boyfriend. About two weekends ago I attend one of her family parties but i had just told my boyfriend I was going to a family party and would have to be picked up the night of because i was going to be drinking. He picked me up everything was fine I slept over. This morning he told me I wasn’t slick for not saying she was going to be present and that if he had known she was there he wouldn’t have picked me up. We started arguing because I felt like it was old news. I didn’t tell him she was going to be there because of the past they have. Well fast forward to now he made me pick her or him and I told him ifs very stupid to end the relationship over her because she is not even worried about us and he is the only one that brings her name up when we argue and says I chose her over him. He is not talking to be and went on a whole cuss rampage at me.

I was rear ended 2 days ago. (Location: South Carolina) I have never been in any sort of a collision, ever. the person admitted fault and immediately started a claim on their phone. I have already been contacted by their insurance company.
I was hit in a car pool line while wearing my seatbelt at an elementary school while I had been stopped for 15-30 seconds. My 5 year old unbuckled herself, and got her backpack on and was about to get out. I had my neck slightly turned looking at her and then we were hit. My daughter was pushed forward and then fell back into the seat and hit her head.
The speed limit is 10 MPH in the car pool line. There was very little traffic at this time and the person who hit me was able to drive in from the main entrance of the school to the front of the carpool line without having a reason to stop (like stopped cars in front of her) up until the front where drop off is. I don’t know what speed she was going but she was absolutely not going anywhere near 10. And it was uphill. Everyone that has seen my car has estimated she was probably going between 25-35 and is absolutely shocked at the amount of damaged that occurred in a car line.
I do have a front dash camera that recorded the accident and you can tell I was hit pretty hard and my car was pushed toward about 10 feet (uphill, with my foot on the break If that matters). The other driver Told me at different points they had no idea what happened, then they said they were turned around handing their child their bookbag, and then later said they accidentally hit the gas instead of the breaks.
My car is significantly more damaged than hers is. I wouldn’t say it’s severe damage but it’s significant. No one from the insurance company has seen it yet. My bumper is caved in and my trunk/back hatch is crinkled, cracked, and uneven (my car is an SUV) her car was larger than mine and the front bumper is slightly popped off and was cut across like a foot. No one’s Airbags went off and the cars are still drivable.
Instantly after being hit my head and neck started hurting. We waited for a police report and I got one. I immediately took both of my children to their doctor. My oldest (5) who was standing up getting their backpack on was complaining about a headache. The doctor said one pupil was slightly larger than the other and that we needed to keep an eye on it and immediately bring her to the ER if there was any other concerning behavior. Another doctor was called in for a second opinion and also agreed the pupils were not the same size. My daughter has a bump on her head where she hit. The area around her eye is now bruised a little bit. (I did take photos). The pediatrician said my 2 year old seemed normal. I then went to urgent care. They said my neck was inflamed and sprained. The diagnosis sheet said I had acute back pain and to follow up in 2 weeks. I was prescribed 2 things (I don’t remember what at the moment) and I picked them up same day from the pharmacy.
I am in a lot of pain still. Even with cream, heating pad, and prescription medicine. My neck hurts, my shoulders hurt, my back hurts bad, my knees hurt, under my arms hurt, my tailbone hurts and my ears are ringing off and on.
The person at fault insurance company (USAA) called me today. They offered me $7,000 total for injury ($2500 for me, $2500 for my child that was injured, $1500 for my child that doesn’t seem to be injured, and $500 as a “buffer”). I am a little concerned because I was told that the buffer money could be used if I was contacted with extra bills from medical Insurance, but that I shouldn’t be. I said I wasn’t ready to make a decision at the moment. She asked me if I had a different amount in mind. I said I wasn’t ready to discuss that. She also offered to give me the money and pay for any additional medial treatment we needed in the future. I still stated I wasn’t ready to make a decision and she is planning on calling me back next week.
I am having multiple family members and friends tell me I need to at least see a lawyer for a free consult. I do think I am planning on doing that. Other family members and friends are telling me I should counter a little higher and not risk wasting a bunch of time for only a little more $, which is the only reason I am reluctant. I don’t plan on signing anything until I’m 100% sure we are all ok long term. Nothing at all has been done besides an auto body shop is supposed to call me to set up an appointment to get my car in. Thank you in advance for any advice.
I am absolutely horrified thinking about how this could’ve ended if the person had hit me 30-45 seconds later when my kid would’ve been getting out of the car.

If you haven't received yours in the mail already, you probably will soon. It will contain a few bits of information from your Assessor...

• Your property's classification - in other words, the Assessor's opinion of how your property is being currently used.
• Your property's valuation - in other words, the Assessor's opinion on what your property would probably sell for, on the open market, as of January 2, 2023.
• A quick guide on steps you can take if you disagree with either the classification and/or valuation.

Let's break each of these down and go into greater depth...

Your Property's Classification This one is about as straightforward as it gets. Is your property being used as a residence? An office? A warehouse? A school? A convenience store? A hospital? Minnesota has plenty of classification codes, but it's usually easy to tell how a property is being used.
Your Property's Valuation This is where things get complicated. There are three basic methods to calculate a property's estimated market value (EMV):

• the sales comparison approach to value (in other words, the Assessor will calculate your property's EMV based on the sales of properties that are similar to yours, making adjustments in differences for things like square footage, year built, and so on)
• the cost approach to value (in other words, the Assessor will calculate your property's EMV based upon what it would cost to build; Marshall & Swift is often considered a reliable source of construction cost data)
• the income approach to value (in other words, if it's reasonable to believe your property could be rented out, the Assessor will use income, expense, vacancy, capitalization, and other rates that are typical in your property's market, to determine its EMV)

At least one of these approaches will be used to calculate your property's EMV, and the Minnesota Department of Revenue mandates Assessors to calculate properties' values within 90%-105% of what a property would realistically sell for on the open market. (Many County Assessors will target 95% because it's very easy to defend.)
Single-family homes typically use the sales comparison approach... unless they are fresh-built, then they might use the cost approach if the Assessor finds that to be more realistic.
A strip mall will probably use the income approach based on the market rates in that area. Or, if it's fresh-built, the Assessor might use the cost approach instead.
Those are just a couple examples.
A Quick Note Before Discussing Appeals Your typical County Assessor understands the classification and EMV of a property has the biggest impact on the size of your school, county, and state property tax bill... but has no control over the budgets of your school, county, or state. As one county administrator put it, "The school, county, and state all decide how big the pizza is... the County Assessor only decides how big each person's slice is." In other words, these units of government set their budgets (or levies), then the County Auditor uses the County Assessor's classifications and EMVs to figure out what that property's portion of the property tax bill should be. So it's understandable someone might want to appeal their property's classification and/or EMV for property tax reasons, but the County Assessor is only interested in making sure the property's classification matches its current use, and its EMV is reflective of what it would sell for on the open market as of January 2, 2023.

How to Appeal Your Property's Classification and/or EMV

There's three basic methods to appeal your classification and/or EMV: you can do an informal appeal, you can appeal through the local and county boards of appeal & equalization, or you can take your county to Minnesota Tax Court.
Informal Appeal This basically means you contact your Assessor and have a conversation about your property's classification and/or EMV. It may or may not result in your classification and/or EMV changing depending on the situation or the outcome of that conversation. The Assessor might ask to perform a complete interior & exterior inspection of your property before making any changes. If all of this is resolved at least 10 days before your Local Board of Appeal & Equalization (LBAE) meeting, a revised Valuation Notice could be mailed out to you, and the whole process is done. If you go past "The 10-Day Window" as we typically call it...
Formal Appeal - Step 1 This is where you have to appeal to your LBAE or Open Book (OB) meeting, depending on which one is mentioned on your Valuation Notice. If you haven't already, have a conversation with your Assessor about your property and see if a resolution can be made, or if an interior & exterior inspection of your property should be done before these meetings.
For a Local Board of Appeal & Equalization (LBAE) meeting, you must contact them and let them know you are appealing your classification and/or EMV. Instructions are on your Valuation Notice. The organizer of the meeting might ask you if you've had a conversation with your Assessor yet. The board consists of your town/city council members, or their designees. If you and your Assessor are unable to reach an agreement, you'll be expected to bring substantial proof of what you believe your property's classification and/or EMV really should be. (Maybe it's a recent appraisal, or a competitive market analysis by a reputable brokerealtor, each Board's requirements will vary; be sure to ask what information the Board wants when you set up your meeting.) Talking about property taxes or your personal finances is not advised since the main purpose of the meeting is to discuss what your property's classification and/or EMV. If you can't appear in person, you can either submit your appeal in writing or send someone else on your behalf. If you and the Assessor are able to reach an agreement before this meeting, there's technically no need for you to show up at the meeting because the Assessor will let the board know an agreement was reached, but I usually recommend my appellants show up anyways since a board can technically decide to reject any agreement if they choose to. It's extremely rare, I've only seen it happen a couple times in the past decade... and it's not fun. Just show up and enjoy watching a small part of your local government at work.
For an Open Book (OB) meeting... well, let's back up for a second. There's a few different reasons why an OB meeting exists...

• you live in an unincorporated/unorganized part of the County; simply put, a Local Board can't exist since the County does everything there already
• you live in an incorporated part of the County, such as a city or township, but that city or township has decided not to do their own LBAE for whatever reason
• you live in an incorporated part of the County, such as a city or township, and that city or township has lost the privilege of doing their LBAE because they were unable to prove enough members of their Board were certified to take part in the meeting

Regardless of why the OB is happening instead of a legit LBAE, most property owners don't see the point in the OB since it's the County Assessor administering a meeting... to see if the County Assessor's classification and/or EMV should stand. It's kind of a "fox guarding the henhouse" situation, as one property owner told me when they learned their city failed to meet the LBAE requirements and went OB at the last minute... but now I'm drifting from the topic. Anyways. You must attend the OB meeting in-person, send someone on your behalf, or submit a written appeal.
Formal Appeal - Step 2 This is when you appeal to the County Board of Appeal & Equalization (CBAE), and this can only happen if you have appealed to either an LBAE or OB already. It's a board that consists of either your County Commissioners, or their designees. Just like the LBAE, you will be expected to bring some substantial factual proof of what you think your property's classification and/or EMV is, such as an appraisal or competitive market analysis from a reputable brokerealtor. Talking about property taxes or your personal finances is not advised since the main purpose of the meeting is to discuss your property's classification and/or EMV.
Minnesota Tax Court This can happen regardless of whether or not you did any of the other appeal steps. You can decide to hire a lawyer, or you can represent yourself. You will be making your case before a judge of the Minnesota Tax Court under oath, and just as I've said before, talking about property taxes or your personal finances is not advised since the main purpose of the trial is to discuss what your property's classification and/or EMV. Court fees are involved, so it's always best to take care of things on the Local and/or County level if you can.

We live in rural NC. Like ABA services don't even come out to our county it so rural... not that I'd have my child in ABA but that's just the best way to really put into perspective how little services we have out here. On top of that we are not an open enrollment state I guess? The school shes districted to doesnt even have an autism specialist of any kind there. Her OT did say that the pre-k teacher there is really nice though.
My toddler is really excited to attend school and I feel upset thinking about depriving her of that experience, but also im just scared for her wellbeing. She's going to be 4 in the fall, and originally they told me since her birthday is after their cutoff she won't be allowed to attend until she is almost 5. When she was 2 almost 3 I tried to get her into early intervention through the school but they told me she wasn't "behind enough" and basically put me through a hundred loops just to reject us just because she was more cooperative because she loves the idea of school. The other tidbit is I, myself am returning to school this fall, at a community college doing online classes though. I also have an almost 2 year old (who is developing quite normally)
According to the evaluator (still waiting on paper diagnosis) she's pretty high functioning but really needs speech therapy.
The thing is she already knows the alphabet, all of their sounds, can count up to 50 no problem, loves puzzles, etc. So educationally I'm not really worried about her ever falling behind, but I worry about the common thing most autism parents worry about which is, what if she does fall behind and falls into the cracks of the school system. What if she gets bullied? The school here is literally the only elementary school in a 30 mile radius, so there's a lot to feel concerned about. Plus they literally fired the old principal over them having tons if complaints.
Ugh I just don't know, the evaluator seemed to underline that she agreed with my concerns, read through the concerns I had presented the school, and was literally like "why did she not get placed into the program? She tested borderline or behind normal development." And was confused as well. The principal I had spoken to basically said "you should wait until she is 5 or 6, it'll be more obvious then, or maybe she will grow out of her delays"
I left that meeting for early intervention meeting pretty much fuming.
I don't know what to do honestly. I keep going back and forth between public school and homeschooling but I am truly nervous about the state of the school system, entrusting my child to other people, and also meeting her wants and needs. I could truly use some advice in this situation. She loves LOVES learning, and loves pretending to go to school every day, but i just worry about our underfunded school district and all of the other stuff I mentioned.

hi i am 23f and am slowly starting to come out of my introverted shell (although it’s very easy for me to retreat back into)… anyways i think one of the most important things in life is having human interactions/connections with people either in person or through text but everyone needs someone to talk to. i don’t particularly have that but would love it so here i am.
my interests include but are not limited to: -music/instruments as i’ve played viola since elementary school and really want to learn guitar -singing (my voice might not be good but i still sing my heart out) -video games but from the view of the watcher rather than the player (two main gamers i watch are dashiegames and coryxkenshin) -psychology and personality , basically i like to know how and why people think the way they do -tv shows and movies maybe we can recommend each other some things -love… i love talking about relationships and anything related to loving a person… i’m a hopeless romantic -i’ve had a lot of hobbies in the past but once i’ve conquered them i’m instantly bored then i’m onto the next -lastly i can be the shoulder you need to lean on when/if you need it whether it’s bad news or good news i can be your person we can switch from a deep conversation to a funny one and go back and forth idc
i have discord so we can talk on there which i think is kind of easier… anyways love you all bye!!!

As far back as I can remember, I've always learned slowly. I got a bunch of tests in elementary school because I wasn't progressing as quickly as the other kids, but I have no clue what became of those tests. I had to be taken aside a lot for extra reading and arithmetical practices. I still haven't gotten my time tables down, despite nearly daily practice throughout high school and middle school. Is this a symptom of autism? ADHD? Both? I know I have autism and highly suspect I have ADHD.

I couldn't be feeling anymore sad or upset about my current situation and I feel I need to get some much-needed support and kind advice because I am starting to feel at a complete loss for what to do and it has been extremely difficult to finally recognize that my parents have been narcissists for all these years... so this is my story:
I am a 28-year-old woman who feels forced to be at home because of her parents, especially due to my mother's codependency. I recently spoke to my parents about wanting to move out of the house. I saved up some money, I am now getting into a decent-paying job and I have pretty good discernment. However, in my parent's eyes, especially with my mother, they feel that my moving out before marriage, is equated to being forever condemned and being disrespectful. When I had the conversation with them, it was extremely manipulative and gaslighting. It is like being a single unmarried woman is a death sentence in the family. They constantly compared me to other women around my age or older who still live with their parents, and to those who got married first and moved out and reported how much more respect you get when it is done that way. They made it seem like it was "ok" for me to go but my dad and mom mentioned bringing shame to the family, being heartbroken, that I will be judged and looked at with disrespect, that no man will marry or respect a woman who leaves the house before marriage, that I will no longer be serious with my boyfriend and oh, the cherry on top is that if I move out, I won’t be able to come back home if I needed to…
So yeah I cried, I’m hurt, I’m confused and now I don’t know what’s right to do anymore. I didn’t want to leave home to not have a relationship with my parents, never my intention. They made it seem like I’m leaving them as if I’m abandoning them, which is not true at all. I want to have a relationship with my parents and I still want to be able to visit and for them to visit me. I still want to be able to speak with them and be cordial, but apparently, they abandoned me. And they justified it by saying “ it’s your choice that you are leaving before you are married. We didn’t kick you out of the house or pressured you. If you think you’re so grown and mature that you can live out in the real world when all crazy things are happening, therefore, you won’t be able to come back.” So they made me more fearful now to even do so.
My nmom just recently told me “even if you stay or go, I am already living my life as if I do not have a daughter anymore. I can find someone else (e.g. another girl cousin of mine or my brother) to be that person for me”. She started crying and saying how she and my dad did everything for me for my schooling and my life and how I basically hurt her badly by defying what’s right and she went ahead and said that my father said to her that he felt he was going to have a “heart attack” today because of my mention of wanting to move out. My nmom told me all these things about how she and my dad have medical conditions (diabetes and hypertension) and that if he dies or if she dies for some reason, they will be miserable and will have "no daughter to help them". So my words basically are hurting my parents so much and I feel like I am the glue to their own resiliency.
Deep down I know I want to move out soon and get away from the toxicity but it's like I feel stuck and terrified that doing so means I will forever jeopardize my relationship with my parents indefinitely and that is not what I ever wanted in the first place. It makes me feel like moving out is a selfish thing to do. My mom says that I hurt her and my father to the point of physical pain, but it's like my own hurt doesn't exist in their eyes. Ever since this happened, I have been ridden with extreme anxiety, I have been chronically crying, I have been having a lot of negative thoughts about myself, I haven’t been sleeping well and I see myself getting myself into a bad depression... every time I am around my nmom, I get mini anxiety attacks and heart palpitations, I feel so much like a little girl and inadequate. I can’t believe she was so quick to just disown me like that of her daughter…
I truthfully feel like I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I move out and if I ever cause my parents extreme stress and physical pain because I know they been through a lot. But since I was younger and in elementary school, all I ever been was my nmom’s shoulder when she went through her issues and when she was crying about my dad’s behaviors. And all I ever been to my ndad was support him whenever he would tell me threats of wanting to hurt himself and he choose me to say all those suicidal things to me as the youngest in the family, not even to my older brothers, only to me….
But still, I feel the most incredible amount of guilt and shame, and now I don’t know what else to do but to just listen to them and act complacent to diffuse anymore confrontation because, to me, they made it very clear that I owe them my emotions and that their feelings matter more than mine does, it always has been that way with both of them.

I've been fat for most of my life. Since about 5 years old, my dad had binge eating disorder and it pretty much influenced mine. That and other difficulty in childhood lead me to always linger around the 260lb mark. I was 240 at 10 and currently 256 at 16 (Yes I'm working out, but I still have a long way to go) I remeber some snide remarks here in there in elementary, and middle school. The worst I've been through was someone poking my sides and laughing to their freinds about me. But.. even then.. that's the only time I was directly bullied. Even some guy that would always say mean comments and laugh I got along with at times?? (8th grade) my freinds were all skinner than me and often worried about weight gain but.. never compared themselves to me or.. said anything. They didn't even look at me funny at all? We are still freinds to this day even with other plus size freinds in the group. In high school right now I have two guy freinds who both are gym rats. One made fun of a big girl infront of me (who was smaller than me) and had made remarks of a freinds plus sized sister but never really said anything about me?? And all together with watching (insatiable, bully k dramas, health journeys) just leaves me totally spun on where I stand with anyone. Why didn't I get the same treatment? Why was I diffrent? Or are all the story's people tell me/that are protrayed in media untrue or exaggerated? Is it just that specific time and place had a change of heart? Is there that much of a drastic difference between the generations? Puzzling all this together has felt like the carpet under me is beginning to slip, I have really looked now as I build my sense of self and humanity and see I have missed a big part of the bigger picture. And you know what maybe it's not just me. I see other big people around me with many freinds happy and laughing. What changed? How did it change so quick? Is this just the age of self reflection? Or internal growth or what ever you want to call it. What happend. What is happening. What is going to happen.

Non-teacher here, with a question. Can learning styles be trained at any age, or is it too late by high school? Or are they hard-wired and are what they are for life?
Let's say a child highly excels in visual and kinesthetic learning, but is absolutely horrendous with auditory learning.

• By highly excels in visual/kinesthetic I mean he can literally redraw from memory, maps he saw in history class to a tee, can tell you the exact seating arrangement of he and his friends at the lunch table, loves labs in science class, loves PE, and often gets called out in class for leaning in his chair, or in some cases rarely being in his chair (leaning against a wall by his friends desk during individual in-class assignment time, etc.)
• And then, by absolutely horrendous with auditory learning, I mean practically failing every "listening" assessment when he was in elementary school, doing poorly on tests/pop quizzes in lecture-heavy classes that don't have any visuals, and at home cannot remember something verbally explained to him just two minutes prior.

My worry is about outcomes in adulthood. College relies heavily on auditory instruction (lectures, seminars, etc.), not all of which are accompanied with visual presentations or interactive activities. Then post-college, in the professional world where meetings, Zoom calls, etc. are highly reliant on auditory processing, and office jobs require people to be stuck at desks the whole day.

OATS is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing low cost transportation to the people of Missouri. They do this by equipping large vans and small busses to be transportation vehicles. Riders will call at least 24 hours in advance to schedule where and when the driver will pick them up and drop them off, like a shared Uber ride. This means that you can have a driver come right to your house and drop you off right where you need to go, exactly when you need to.
Coverage for said transportation can range quite a bit depending on where you are in the State, while they cover most of the state, they only cover certain areas all 5 days a week. They have different areas and routes with different rules, like certain drives are only allowed to be done for medical purposes, certain busses are only out a few days a month or have very limited hours. They're a non-profit with public funding for certain areas, they don't have enough resources for it to be as available as they'd like it to be. They typically charge between $1-$3 a stop, or $4 per county you go through if you're on a bus going that far. Rural riders coming into the city can get a hundreds long mile ride for less than $10.
OATS isn't perfect. At the end of the day it's just ride sharing. The largest bus I saw had 20 removable seats, smaller than a short school bus. There weren't a ton of people on the bus either, the most people I ever saw on the bus was 10 or so. But this is transportation that works in even the most car dependant of areas. This is public transportation for tiny rural towns that otherwise could never have public transport, public transportation through completely unwalkable suburbs and municipalities. I couldn't have gone to college without them. Many disabled people I rode with told me that they wouldn't have had the independence they had if it wasn't for their ability to get around with OATS.
People use rural transportation as a gotcha for busses and trains, I would say OATS is a perfect counter argument. I also see this as a great way to bring back the idea of public transit to some places that don't have it. It's a glimpse of what's possible, a potential model to provide everybody with some public transit.

Today was hard. Anxiety, depression, and ADHD (diagnosed and medicated) is so hard to explain to people who do not live with it. Trying to advocate for myself is draining. I work at an elementary school and it is literally non-stop. I try so hard but my students have started to notice how often I forget things. Also my time blindness is HORRIBLE. I’m obviously not just going to go out and tell the teachers and kids “oh I have adhd lol sorry” like how stupid. I am the youngest on my campus- so my age is always the “blame” but it is so hard to just function and even to find strategies to help. I am so exhausted and stressed. I don’t know what to do anymore, it is so hard to advocate for myself because what do I say? Im mentally ill and have no executive functioning? Like wtf. I am ALWAYS tired even though I go to sleep at a decent time and I get overstimulated so easily. Ugh sorry for the long and unorganized rant, I am just struggling mentally and physically. Thanks for reading if you did all the way.

I’m new to reddit so I’m not sure exactly where to post this. Apologies it this does not belong, and for the length.
This was the weirdest experience I have had to date, and I still get choked up and emotional when I think about it. It was 2010 and I was 25 years old, living at home with my very supportive parents who were helping me through college (after previously dropping out of high school and having two amazing children)
It was an early autumn afternoon, around 4-5 pm. I was in my room, doing some homework on my laptop, at my desk. The desk faced the wall directly across from my bed, and my older style box tv was on top of my dresser to the left of my desk, about 2 feet away. I was, as usual, procrastinating doing my homework, so I was mindlessly watching some dumb tv show.
Because my tv was so close, I stood up instead of using the remote to change the volume on my tv. As I reached out my left hand to press the button, as if a switch flipped, my entire environment changed. This affects me still to this day; I still feel it in my soul that something strange happened. I didn’t hallucinate, it was real. I was back in my childhood home, some 20 miles away, and seemingly 18 years in the past!!
I was standing in front of the only hallway closet in the one-bedroom house that I grew up in. The house was over one hundred years old, and the closet was one of those with the doors that slide open on tracks. You know, the ones that the doors NEVER go back on the tracks right, so you must be careful of how you open it. Anyway, the door to the closet was open, and my already outstretched left arm was reaching toward a very distinct item.
When I was little, my mother had this perfume bottle that, for some reason, I was absolutely in love with. The perfume itself was cheap and didn’t smell particularly good to me. The bottle was glass, and shaped like a bird, maybe a dove. Its wings were up and outstretched. It was beautiful, but it had a broken wing. I probably broke it, being the curious and clumsy child I was (and still am, lol.)
So, there I was, one moment in my somewhat modern bedroom in 2010, the next in the old one-bedroom hallway across the county, back in time 18 years. I was there, I saw the bird bottle. I was within inches of grabbing it. My heart melted for that dumb little bottle of stinky perfume shaped like a one-winged dove. (Oh my god, this is not a Fleetwood Mac song, I swear!)
Before my hand could actually make physical contact with that precious bird, the switch flipped again. I was back in front of my tv, outstretched left hand and all. My mind could not comprehend what had just happened, and I felt immediately sick and dizzy. I was in such a state of shock and confusion that I just walked out of my room, down the hall, into the living room and out into the front yard.
I could do nothing but lurch over, hands on my knees and try desperately to catch my breath, but mostly my sanity. This experience was so jarring, so real. I was physically in front of that open closet, reaching for that damn bird bottle, then I wasn’t.
I wasn’t particularly stressed about classes; it was community college. I’m not prone to hallucinations and was stone cold sober when this experience happened. I’ve only told a few people because honestly the subject of momentarily teleporting through time and space doesn’t come up in conversation often, and I only know a few people that I can tell.
Has anyone had anything like this happen? I still have no explanation and it might have just been a weird break in psyche, but it was not a dream, and I was not under the influence of anything or under any unusual stress.

I wrote this after an asthma attack earlier this week, dreading the flare-up that was coming. For the past few years it means weeks of getting back to normal. I'm currently in grad school, and bike mentioned is an ebike, fyi. Always gotta be accessible. It meant a lot to write this, and thought some here would appreciate it too. It's rough, but from the heart.
The parallel world of severe asthma
As my asthma has worsened, I more and more feel like I’m living parallel to the people around me. In Tokyo, with my unusual hours and outsider status as a foreigner, I already felt set apart from society, so the feeling wasn’t so intense. Yes, I might have missed the occasional book club meeting or invitation from a friend, but I didn’t have daily reminders of how my life had to be considered so differently from those surrounding me. Before Tokyo, while asthma was a consideration in my life, it only came up around hikes or when I pulled my inhaler out after running too fast for too long. It set me apart, but only sometimes.
Now, the time I feel most separate is when I open my school email. Today alone I got invitations to:
• The grad student sports day, which I immediately deleted. I haven’t been able to run across the street without thinking for 3 years. There’s no way in hell I could participate.
• A round table with a CEO. I RSVP’d, but with the knowledge that I’ll likely have to email a cancellation to the event coordinator when a flareup extends or starts or I get an asthma attack.
• A Q&A before an event I’m attending. I RSVP’d, but later realized it’s held at a separate venue from the event, about a three-minute walk away. If I’m feeling bad, I won’t be able to go, and if I’m mobile but not great, I’ll have to ride my bike to both locations in order to minimize walking and be able to attend.
• A meeting with a prof today. I had to ask to meet virtually due to an asthma attack around 11am. He said we could reschedule if I wasn’t feeling well, and I had to go into a brief health history so he would know there was a high chance I’d have to cancel a rescheduled appointment as well, so we just went virtual.
• A school event on Saturday where we paint a map of the United States at an elementary school. Yesterday I ran into a classmate promoting it, and had to tell him I can’t RSVP because I have no idea what my health status will be by Saturday, and lo and behold today I had an asthma attack that will likely take a week or more to resolve.
• Employer visits. I haven’t been to one in months because I’ve had to save all my energy for attending classes, or I wouldn’t even be able to do that.
• So many various interesting talks that I don’t even think about attending anymore because I always seem to be sick whenever there’s something I actually want to do.
After my attack, I immediately emailed both the prof I was scheduled to meet and my prof for tomorrow’s class. It’s a public speaking class (I didn’t realize that when I signed up, I thought it was for writing, my effin’ bad), and we’re exchanging speeches with another person before class, so I need to give my prof warning. In addition, the class is held in a building where it takes me three times as long to walk to the class area as anyone else because it’s in the far back. The bathrooms, of course, are by the exit, so I had to hold it for an entire class a couple weeks ago because I wouldn’t be able to make it there, back, present, and still be at all functioning.
I texted some friends about watching a basketball game at a bar on Friday, and then immediately regretted it, realizing that due to the attack today, I’ll probably be housebound until Monday, unless I’m lucky and things improve quickly. Checking the forecast, which is showing turbulent weather, rain, and general changes, there’s probably not a chance in hell. I still haven’t texted them that, actually, I probably can’t do it, because I just don’t want to yet, and it doesn’t matter too much, since we’re already planning on coming to my house to watch a movie anyway, thank God.
I also texted my friend in a student organization to let her know I wasn’t coming to the meeting tonight after all. We’d talked yesterday, with her asking after me, and I told her I’d finally be able to come today after more than a month of absences due to my health. Welp, never mind. I then had to text another friend I’m supposed to meet for dinner tomorrow, and see if she can come to my house for dinner instead. We’re not very close, so it’s a little awkward, but it’d be nice if she’d be down.
Other things I got to experience today:
• Sitting, teeth gritted, fingers dug into my palm for 30 seconds as I got a very painful shot (Tezspire) that will hopefully make this situation a little fucking better. Oh God, I really hope so. I’ll get to keep getting that once a month for who knows how long. (Talking from a week later, it seems like the second dose has made a big difference. My attack recovery took just two days instead of two weeks!)
• Not get napkins at a restaurant because it wasn’t a good idea to add some extra walking as I realized that I really was asthmatic.
• Regret going downstairs to work on homework because going up to the stairs to the bathroom meant that I needed to rest for a good fifteen minutes.
• Struggle through brain fog to be able to do my coursework.
• Feel tight chested just from getting up to pour myself tea.
• Ask my roommate to go pick up a package at the front door because I couldn’t handle it.
I’m sure there’s more I’m just not thinking of. I’ve been trying to be clearer about how severe my illness is. Instead of telling people I have asthma, I’ve been saying “I have severe asthma/I have severe uncontrolled asthma,” and I put some weight on it. It’s been helping. I’ve been extending conversations a little longer when people ask about it. I’m not trying to create pity, but help people understand that it seriously effects my life, and that when I have to be noncommittal, or haven’t been to school, it’s because of a chronic condition that won’t get better quickly.
All of this adds up to feeling like I’m existing parallel to the people around me. They RSVP to events, knowing they’ll attend unless they just don’t want to. They organize sports days without thinking about all the people that don’t have a chance in hell of being able to participate. They don’t think a thing of it when I don’t come to class or am walking slowly in the hall. They feel buoyant to me almost, walking around not thinking if they can make it down the hall without a rest. I understand they have complexities to their lives that I don’t understand, but hearing “feel better” when I know I’m not going to for a week or two, then maybe have a week of feeling ok-ish before another flare-up makes me feel like an alien.
I’ve been able-bodied before. I know how little conception I had of the mental burden disability brings. I know how blithely they take advantage of their bodies. I love my body. It feels like a partner in a war with me, constantly battling against the evils of dust mites and cat hair. We’re united in this journey, but holy fuck are we exhausted. I make it to class, work in hand (or not), and feel so tired knowing I’m going to have to balance caring for myself with my commitments for another week. My conception doesn’t really stretch much further than that, except to hope that in six months, when I’m finally done ramping up with allergy shots, maybe I won’t feel like this. The time between then and now draws out in front of me, joyful and terrifying. Perhaps I’ll start improving? I know I’ll have good times with friends, whether they’re in my house or elsewhere when I’m feeling ok. I know I’ll learn a lot. I also know I’ll face walks up a flight of stairs that will take three minutes. I know that I’ll face classes or meetings or lectures where I have to concentrate to be able to sit up straight, barely able to pay attention while it feels like my scalp is shrinking around my skull and my chest is like a cloud crushed in a vice grip.
That after that class I’ll have to make a thousand little journeys: from seat to door, from door to that tile, to the end of that bench, to that next door, to that little tree, to that fence, to my bike, all with a little rest in between, letting everybody outpace me as they move, unthinking about the miracle of their body’s wellness, forward past me. I’ll probably listen to music –nothing too exciting or my body will try to dance without permission, every extraneous movement a danger beyond the capacity of my lungs – and let myself flow along to the melody in my head, while my feet shuffle ever so slowly along, not lifting them too high so as not to exert any extra energy. Every moment of this is defined by a colossal effort not to panic. My body wants to; IT CAN’T GET AIR! But I have to force my breath to calm, even if it’s shallow, and focus all my concentration on the next small goal. Occasionally, a flash of the daunting journey to bike, to home, to up to my room, and to lying face down in my bed, sparks in my mind, and a strong current of fear and dread runs through me before I tamp it down and keep moving at my snail’s pace, or stand in place, eyes closed, fingers flexing and curling, shoulders tensed, calves tensed, toes curled, as I squeeze the big scary emotions back into a small ball in my core and continue the difficult journey to safety and rest.
Is this a world I knew existed before? No.
Am I happy I know it now? With the tiniest, most empathetic sliver of my heart. This parallel world is mine, and it’s an anguished one. I’ve gotten some good out of it. I’ve gained empathy. I truly understand my own grit and determination and sisu after this. I told my doctor about an asthma attack I remember having in Tokyo: I went too fast up some stairs, took my inhaler and sat, and felt better 30 minutes later. He said, “That must have been scary.” No! I remember that asthma attack so fondly that it has almost a nostalgic golden glow about it. The scary asthma attacks: the panicked gasps while stuck in a door I’m not capable of opening fully, being exhausted in a coffee shop from walking 3 steps to a bathroom, laying back on a hotel bed and my vision blurring to black around the edges, those scare me. Having to walk out of the ER, alone in a foreign country, to flag down a cab, shaky from IV steroids and unsure if I can make the 30 meters, that scares me. Barely being able to walk or talk as soon as the first drop of rain falls, at a zoo, at a temple, teaching class, those times scare me.
Sometimes I realize that the people around me would call an ambulance or have their family rush them to the hospital if they felt the way I do right now. It feels like we’re walking in two worlds. Mine is weighty with the distress I’m currently feeling, or haunted by the specters of disturbing possibilities: a flight of stairs, a sharp hill, a quick run to make the bus, a note held too long in choir, all things that have kept me housebound for days to weeks. Theirs is what I had before: full of joys and worries (just as mine is) but without that constant central dread and weight and worrying and calculation that comes along with my illness. I don’t know whether to envy or hate them.
What I do know is that we exist together and apart. They don’t understand, and I don’t really want them to. They shouldn’t have to. I wouldn’t wish these dark experiences on them, as much as I wish that I didn’t feel so alone in all of it. Perhaps one day I’ll once again be able to blithely join a game of badminton without worrying about whether I have my rescue inhaler in my bag. Maybe I’ll even just be able to RSVP to a lecture without worrying whether I’ll be able to make it there without severe distress. I yearn for that future, which the doctor tells me is possible, but I yearn in tiny, quick jolts. Just an eighth of a second, then back to accepting the reality I’m in at the moment, knowing that it’s too painful to dwell on in case I don’t get better.
In reality, I regretted reading this out loud after writing it because I was worried I’d pushed the limits of what I can handle right now. And cried after getting an email from my prof for tomorrow’s class because she was so kind with her accommodations. This parallel, murky, dark world that makes me so damn appreciate of the people around me, even if they can’t understand.
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edits: just some formatting

I moved to Kanata Lakes with my family when I was in elementary school. I was an awkward, young girl that was just hoping to make friends and fit in.
I was lucky. I made friends quick and quite easy. My younger years were spent running over to friends homes, playing in the park, going to the wave pool, catching a movie in centrum and climbing onto the roof to watch the stars.
There’s something about Kanata summers that just don’t compare.
When high school came around, my friends and I were up to our regular teenage ways. We would sneak out at night to run on the golf course, our feet soaking wet from the late night dew. My girlfriends and I would meet up at midnight and walk around for hours to talk about boys and whatever minuscule problems were bothering us that day. We waited outside the LCBO on the corner of Kanata avenue and Campeau (where the dollar store is now) hoping someone would do us a solid and buy us beer. The McDonald’s in Walmart was one of the coolest places to eat.
And yes, I’m sure you’re getting the vibe. My high school years were filled with parties and running around the neighboured to much of many adults at that time dismay. But truly, my parents and all the other parents in this community had one common goal and that was even though we were little shits, you all kept us safe.
As a young female I never felt any ounce of danger in this neighbourhood. I knew, although we were (respectable) nuisance in our teens, if an emergency were to happen I could truly knock on anyone’s door for help. And looking back, I would like to think that wasn’t taken for granted.
These days I love watching the new buds grow on the trees in the spring time, driving over to Kin vineyards for a glass of rose in the heat of the summer and watching the leaves change colours on the tree outside my childhood home in the fall.
I’m thankful I grew up here, i’m grateful to still call Kanata my home and I hope you all feel that way too.

Let's say a child highly excels with visual/spatial and kinesthetic learning and tasks:

• He can tell you everything that he learned about in science class (cell diagrams in biology, labs in chemistry, etc.), can tell you everything about videos, maps, and presentations in history class, loves PE class. Heck he can even tell you the exact table positions he and his friends were seated at during lunch.
• He's also so kinesthetic that he often gets called out by his teachers for leaning in his chair, or not even being in his chair (hanging out at his buddy's desk, leaning against the window wall, while doing in-class assignments). At home he's never sitting at his desk to do homework - always doing it on the floor, or on his bed, which is perfectly fine.

But he absolutely struggles with auditory learning:

• Everything goes in one ear and out the other in the classes where the teachers just lecture the whole period.
• Does poorly on tests / pop quizzes in those "lecture-heavy" classes
• Even at home, when trying to explain the steps to do something, he can't remember halfway through the second step just 2 minutes later. But if you show him as you explain it, he'll remember it 100%.
• In hindsight, he always received poor grades/assessments from teachers even in elementary school on his "listening skills." At first I perceived it to be he "never paid attention" in class, but now, I'm convinced it's just poor auditory processing skills.

Is it possible to train and improve a deficient learning style at any age, or is it too late by high school?
My worry is about outcomes in adulthood. College relies heavily on auditory instruction (lectures, seminars, etc.), not all of which are accompanied with visual presentations or interactive activities. Then post-college, in the professional world where meetings, Zoom calls, etc. are highly reliant on auditory processing, and office jobs require people to be stuck at desks the whole day.