The Order of Prince Yaroslav the Wise, fifth class, is the highest rank a Ukrainian foreign national can achieve. Its newest inductee is back home in Florida and has been in the shower so long he’s lost track of time. His feel for the present moment will return in about thirty seconds when the hot water runs out. His hair has been both shampooed and conditioned. His body throughly soaped. It’s the shower’s warm solitude he cannot leave. There is plenty to do today; an interview at a radio station at eleven, lunch with his sponsor, an early dinner at his mom’s pastor’s. All of them want to know more about his experience overseas, they want to know how the war is progressing, they want to hear how he went from Highland Hills High School to war hero. What they don’t want to hear, what David does not want to hear, is how cold his new found notoriety makes him feel. Before can explore his melancholy any further, the hot water goes. The steam rising above the shower clears as a lukewarm solution rinses the remaining soap and warmth off David’s body. He remembers taking similarly cold showers in Ukraine, and how happy he was to have them. It’s shocking how clean a man can get with a half full bucket of water and a couple of towels. “Ah look at Abie! Clean enough for a Russian bitch.” says Bone in his thick provincial accent. Words David can’t remember Bone actually saying or they only sound like something he would say. Sitting around waiting for mechanics, waiting on orders, waiting on food, waiting on the Russians to start shooting, David didn’t know war could be so boring. The only thing Bone said he liked more than killing Russians was fucking them. The rest of the guys in the platoon knew Bone was probably lying, but he was their instructor, and they were the international volunteers, so he was never questioned. He was the only person in their platoon who spoke Russian and Ukrainian and English. One guy, this kid from Belgium, called Bone a cunt after failing to pull the pen on a grenade during a training exercise, and Bone gave it to him. “What is this? You do not have to pull pens in Belgium? Or do you like to give your enemies the grenade so they can throw it back?” said Bone. He then effeminately ran around the kid saying, “Here Mr. German. Take my grenade. They are loud and I am afraid.” Bone comes back to his real voice. “Killing Russians is no different than driving a truck. It is your job. Don’t think. Don’t be like this Belgian. Pull the pin. Kill Russians.” The Belgian kid said something to Bone but no one knew what it was because no one spoke French. This didn’t stop Bone from hitting him in the face so hard it broke his nose. The kid quit later that day, and Bone got written up which David told him is like a kid being put in timeout during a house invasion. “What is this time out?” Bone asked. The water is cold so David gets out. In the kitchen his mother goes over the day’s itinerary again, just to be thorough she adds. “Do you know where you are going David? No, sorry. Do you know where you are going Abie?” she asks as David grabs a breakfast banana. “Yes ma’am.” “You know parking can be difficult downtown. Be sure to take quarters for the meter.” “Yes ma’am.” “And be sure to be yourself. I hope they are nice to you. You know how the media likes to spin things these days. I don’t think they are too liberal but don’t let them put words in your mouth. If they ask you something you don’t want to answer, you just say ‘No comment'. You just tell your story. You are a hero. And then you’ll meet with Fred, and then dinner at Pastor's. Be there at four. If it’s ok with you I’m going to bring the medal. Pastor will want to see it. He’s a big fan of Zelensky.” “Yes ma’am.” “Ok. Enough doting. That’s all you’re getting out to me today. Are you excited? Isn’t this exciting? News Radio 950 is doing a story about you. They want to hear about their local war hero…and that’s you. Give me a hug and get going before you are late.” “Yes ma’am.” In his car, David listens to Domination by Pantera at full volume. The heavy riffs, screaming and terrifying drums raise his spirit. Bone used to play it all the time. David hasn’t prepared anything for save his memory of his time in Ukraine. Perhaps Bone is giving an interview somewhere? You didn’t do anything wrong, he tells himself as he opens the station’s door. Inside he finds an attractive, young woman named Sara who has been emailing him for the past several weeks. “Nice to officially meet. Right this way.” David does his best not to stare at her as she leads him through corridor of offices and hallways. “She looks nice. Go into an office with her.” says Bone. “We’ve all been looking forward to having a more in-depth conversation with you. Our programming producer, who is also named David, will be asking you most of the questions. But I begged him to let me ask some too, so you might say I will also be interviewing you. I hope that’s ok?” Sara’s blonde hair folds into a neat part on the left side of her head. David pictures her styling it in her bathroom, in a bathrobe. It’s been a while since he has smelled perfume. He found a bottle in an abandoned apartment in Zaporizhzhia and kept it. It had some Chinese lettering he couldn’t read, but it smelt nice. Some of the guys teased him when they found it saying he was going to attract Russian because he smelt like an Asian. Sara’s perfume smells expensive and French. She introduces him to David the producer and the three of them find three seats on the end of a conference room table. Sara sits on the same side as David. After introductions, David starts the interview by saying even though he is not sure exactly when the piece will air, he is certain it will before the end of the month. He then adds something about how David is a hero for doing what he did. “So tell us how you found yourself in Ukraine?” “Well it was pretty easy really. I went online and volunteered for the IVB, that was the name of my unit, the International Volunteer Brigade. I don’t think I talked to a real person until I booked my flight to Poland. It was mostly just forms I was filling out online. So yeah it was pretty easy. So I landed in Krakow and my recruiter picked me up. I stayed in a hotel for a few days while we waited on a couple more guys to show up. One was from Spain, another from Portugal. The Portuguese guy never showed, or if he did he didn’t come with us. I guess he could have volunteered with another outfit. I guess that’s the thing about the war I didn’t really expect. We were always just kinda losing people. And I don’t mean they were killed, although a lot of them were. I mean guys would just be with you one minute and gone the next. And then you’d find them a week later and I go, ‘Where have you been?’ ‘Oh I’ve been in Dnipro’ or ‘Oh I got picked up by the Regs.’ It was crazy. The only place where that didn’t happen was the front.” “Who do you mean by ‘the Regs?’” asks David. “The regular army. The Ukrainians. The good guys we were there to help. Sometimes they would be short a man so they’d just nab one of the volunteers. That was a bad gig. The Ukrainians wanted their most motivated guys fighting in the worst places. I only had to do it a couple of times, but…it was not something I did and wanted to do again. ” David rubs his hand over his arm. He can’t smell the hot blonde anymore, only trench dirt and gun oil. The soil of Donetsk had a deep brown color to it he always enjoyed. Even with snipers supposedly in the area, digging was one of his favorite jobs. The earth smelled vibrant, full of worms and nitrogen and reminded him of his granddad, coming in from a day of field work, his jeans and boots caked in a rich layer of his land. “So tell us what is it like being a hometown celebrity?” asks Sara. “You’re from here so people already know you, but what’s it like now? I mean now, gosh, everyone i know has been talking about this kid from Highland who won a medal from Zelensky. Did you get to bring it by the way? You were on the national news. It was NBC, but still…” A bouquet of scents and questions. David looks across the room and sees Bone sitting with a heavy slouch in a chair at the other end of the conference table. He looks rough; still alive but not by much. He sits holding his side, his chin on his chest. “It’s neat I guess. I walk down the street and people call my name. I take lots of pictures with people. Everyone is really nice. I felt like I was kinda a wallflower before.It’s something I think lots of people think about experiencing. I know I did, I just never thought it would be for this.” “What did you want to be when you were a boy?” asks Sara. “I don’t know. The normal stuff; doctor, fireman, my Dad was in sales, so not that. I think about it a lot. I think mostly I just wanted to be good. I didn’t like getting into trouble.” “Oh my gosh, I was the exact same.” says Sara. Then durning her boss she adds “David, I don’t know if you knew this about me and this David, but we actually went to Highland High at the same time. I was a senior when you would have been a freshman, but I swear I remember you. I thought you were cute.” “Don’t be trying to steal my assistant Dave. Can I call you Dave?” “David’s fine.” Bone perks up and tells them to call him Abie “Ok so let’s get back on track. You’re over there, you’re fighting Russians, you’re helping the Ukrainians, can you tell us, what was that like?” “What is war like?” “Yeah the war, but you’re doing a good thing. You volunteered to help an oppressed people, to fight against tyranny, something I think our listeners think our government should have done a long time ago. But while our President sits on his ass, you bravely go do the thing that needs be done. God it must have been exhilarating, but I don’t know, I don’t want to put words in your mouth.” Bone lays his head back on the desk and says something David can’t quite make out but thinks he knows what his commander is saying. “Meta.” “What?” asks David. “It’s a Ukrainian word I learned while over there. It means purpose, but more than just doing a job, it’s your calling. It’s a word the priests with the beards use a lot. Everyday I knew exactly what was expected of me and what I could expect from everyone around me. I had clarity for the first time in my life. I felt like I could see for miles in every direction, like sitting on the roof watching all the cars going by.” Bone stands up out of his chair and walks out of the office. “Even when I was scared I knew that was to be expected. And when I was tired, I knew that too was to be expected. And when I was hungry, and wet, and cold, and angry enough to kill. I knew that too was to be expected because war is a cauldron. Everything gets boiled into a singularity. It’s terrifying but also pretty damn motivating. What sucks is that I can already feel everything starting to get cloudy again.” Leaning his belly against the table, David leans in to ask his next question as if he does not want to be heard. “Did you, you know…and this will be off the record…did you kill anyone else?” Sara places her empty hand on the table, an offering for David to hold should his answer prove too much. But David knows the answer is not too much for his has thought of little else. “Nope. Just the one.” After another few minutes of hearing how brave he has been, how proud his family must be and how grateful the station is to have him come in, the interview is over. The producer shakes David’s hand and Sara walks him out. She mentions that friends of her’s are going to a new bar in the Depot and suggests David should come too. He says he can come but it will be late because he has dinner plans. “That’s ok. I’ll be there pretty late.” ————————— Only a few blocks from the radio station, David pulls into a Waffle House parking lot. There is condensation on the windows of the building and cigarette butts near the door. Nothing here breathes well, David notes. Inside he finds his old sponsor sitting at booth by himself. David sees Fred before Fred sees him and for a moment considers leaving. However, he sees Bone sits in the corner of the restaurant, smiling and looking to flirt with a chubby waitress with grown sons. “How the hell are you Abie?” says Fred. No turning back now. “Sober for today.” “Me too.” The pair order eggs, toast and bacon. The cook makes each of them a waffle on the house after recognizing David. He finishes his plate before Fred can finish a piece of toast. Meals happen quick on the battlefield and David can’t seem to slow himself down long to enjoy his food. Bone is no longer in the corner. David sees him moving around the room; following an old lady into the restroom. He comes out with a grotesque look on his face. “That little woman took the biggest shit I’ve ever seen! Abie, come and look at it. It won’t flush. Call in a drone strike. We are going to have to pull back!” “So” says Fred, “Mr. War Hero, how are you really? You’ve got recognition, a war recommendation, you’re doing interviews, you still got your sobriety. Life seems to be going well, but…” “How I am really?” When he was in NA Fred could always sniff out if he was high. As his sponsor that was his job, but David never liked it. I know you say you’re fine, but how are your really. Effective, but crude. Fred taps his finger to the tip of his nose. Bingo kid. David looks around the room for Bone but doesn’t find him. “I’m good man. Things are going well. Everyone always asks me how I’m doing, but I’m really fine. I honestly don’t feel much different than when I left. Same shit different day you know? Girls come up to me now, so that’s different I guess. So…yeah…things are good. Still sober. No real temptation to go back down that road. Been working the Steps since I got back. Doing the work. I didn’t even think about getting high when I was over there. I’m serious. Not once. I’ve got a therapist that I’m seeing. She’s really smart. And I get to see her for free. It’s part of some rehabilitation program from the federal government. I’m moving out of my Mom’s soon. I found an apartment through the church she goes to. There is a guy there who owns a bunch of places and he hooked me up with a really nice place for really cheap. He gave us a really good deal on it. The same guy said I could come work for him too when I felt I was ready. He has a real estate business and said he is always looking for new realtors. With my story, he told me, he thinks I could to really well.” Bone sits in the booth next to Fred. His face his clean, empty. Without blinking, moving or saying anything he stares at David; human mirror he is unsure is alive or dead, in a Waffle House in Florida or an expensive dirty tank in Ukraine. “But then I think, do I really wanna use my story to sell real estate? Some douchebag buys an apartment I’m selling him because I killed a Russian general. That’s not why I went over there. And who would even ask me to that? They don’t know what it was like. They make it seem like going over there was no big deal, that killing generals is something that happens all the time, or that the war is going well. Really man, I got so lucky with that shot. I’ve had trained snipers tell me they probably couldn’t hit a target at that range. But I did. I did that and I know I could never do it again. Even if I could, I don’t know if I’d want to. I didn’t know that guy. I mean I now know a bunch of stuff about him, but it’s only what I’ve been told. They told me that he supported Putin from the beginning and that a lot of the war planning was his idea. Ok. If you say so Bone. But I looked this guy up, he has a wikipedia page, and a wife, and kids, probably grandkids. I don’t know if his family is proud of him or not, but I know they will never see him again. And then just the charade of it all. So I got to meet the Ukrainian War Minister, Zelensky’s right hand man. Still not worth it. There’s just nothing noble or romantic about it. It’s all just a cold, black hole that runs on death and killing and for some reason you have to look at it…at least I do. I suppose I thought at some point I would see something. Never did though.” Bone breaks his stare and cracks a smile. “And for who, for what Fred? What is going to happen when all of this is over other than the same thing that happens after every war. A cabal of erudite assholes are going to meet in an overly secure room in the Netherlands and draw a new line in between Ukraine and Russia which is exactly what those same assholes did seventy years ago, and seventy years before that, and in seventy years we’ll do the same thing all over again. Wash, rinse and repeat. That line makes about as much sense as the first day of Spring. Sure, there is an official first day of Spring, March 20th or whatever, but we all know that there was some really warm days before the 20th and there is going to be some real cold days afterwards. But the 20th is the official day. It doesn’t make Spring happen. It just kinda helps sense out of a blurry situation. It wasn’t two days after getting there I realized the whole thing is so complicated. Half the regs were guys who had either lived in Russia at some point, gone to school there mostly, or had family living there. It felt like trying to break up a fight at a family reunion, only everyone is holding ARs as they argue about whether or not the 20th is the first day of Spring. The conflict goes back so far you can’t make out the start. And the profiteering my god, that’s what really gets me. Just like that asshole who wants to use the war to sell real estate, all the arms manufacturers who are pouring guns and bullets and tanks into Ukraine, propping this war machine so they can win another government contract. It’s sick. The people running those companies have the first available seat in hell. And Putin too. He started this whole mess. First him, then a nice row of CEOs and shareholders, that’s who I want to in hell. And there is never talk of any alternative. None. Not even a whisper. Just two sides trying to exhaust the other for a better seat at the bargaining table.” Bone gets up to leave, but not before stretching his back, revealing a large, dark red stain in his uniform, just above his waist line. “So here I am in all my hometown glory.” says David, “The renown Prince of the Order of the Ukrainian Shit-Show.” There is a wet spot on David’s pants which he is not sure how it got there. He looks at Bone who is already out the door and running down the street. It’s ok, David thinks to himself, I know where he is going. ———————————————— At the 7-11 next to Waffle House David buys two tall boys and two shots of Jack. He pours the whiskey into the cans and kills the second one as he pulls into Pastor’s driveway where several Mercedes, Teslas and BMWs are parked. David clears his throat, spits into the bushes and unwraps a stick of gum. He enters the house after two hard knocks. “Oh I think that is him.” David hears his mom say after shutting the large, dark front door. She comes around the corner of the corridor to tell him he is late and to take his shoes off. “But my socks don’t match.” “Well take those off too! Pastor just put down new carpet.” “Ah well, since there is new carpet involved. Let’s not walk on the new carpet.” The rest of the dinner party comes around the corridor in their socks. Each of them personally thanks David for coming and for his service. The men shake his hand. The women all give him hugs. By the end of introductions David has met two bankers, two retirees, and handful of housewives, as well as two more pastors and their wives. Bone is the last to shake his hand. He tells Abie he smells like old lady perfume. Elenor, Pastor’s wife, takes David’s arm, sliding her’s underneath his, leading him into their recently renovated kitchen. The rest of the group follows. “Well dinner is almost ready. As we wait, why don’t you tell us about Ukraine.” “Leave him alone Ellie,” says Pastor, “maybe he’s tired of talking about it.” “I don’t mind.” says Abie. “I don’t mind telling people about blowing some Russian guy’s head off.” “David Absalom!” “It’s ok Mom. Yeah so I saw this column of tanks approaching our trench, which ran parallel to this road running west outta Horlivka. I don’t think they knew it was there, or if they did know, they sure as shit didn’t know we were in it, which was weird because we’d been trading fire with them all day. We were all scared shitless. It was only me and Jizzy and Bone. Right Bone? Oh yeah, it wasn’t Jizz it was that kid from Croatia. The one who fucking just ran off one day. I don’t remember his name. Anyways, Bone tells us to all be real still, play like we are dead. So this entire tank column passes by us. Takes for fucking ever. Couldn’t have been more than an hour, but it felt like ten. Finally it starts to let up you know, the last tank passes. So Bone takes the radio and tries to find a spot to call it in. As he is doing that I see the last tank, which was what Bone, about four hundred yards from us? Anyway, he comes to a stop, and out pops the unluckiest son of bitch in the whole war. The General gets out to take a piss, I take aim, figuring I’ll just scare him. And yeah. Bam. Headshot. He didn’t feel a thing; killed him with his dick in his hand. Speaking of which…if you will excuse me.” “The bathroom is back down the hallway, first door on your left.” says Pastor. “Is it a full bath?” ask Abie. “Three-quarter.” “Close enough.” No one looks him in the eye, no one except Bone and Pastor. The bathroom has been redone in the same tile as the kitchen. David takes off his clothes, turns the steel knob in the shower to red, sits one floor and waits for the water to get warm.

I hate talking, so I like to write things down, is this okay?
text start: I experience strong discomfort in my body.
I experience extreme anxiety whenever I think about my own gender.
I do not feel that I belong to my assigned gender group.
I want to have a feminine face and features.
I fear revealing my true self and being rejected.
I had my last panic attack on June 2nd, 2023.
When I look at feminine features, I fear rejection, which triggers a panic attack and dissociation.
I struggled in physical education (muscle growth) and had a panic attack when assigned to a group.
Negative self-image
I have a strong desire to wear clothes that align with my gender identity in public
text end:

Dear pet owners, I need some advice on this issue.
I’m [38f] dating a man [38m] let’s call him Jake who owns a dog. She’s a very cute elderly doggy, 15 or 16 years of age. She goes the vet every other month it seems like, regarding health issues such as infection on the nipples, tumors, joints and lately when she does her business some of her insides come out occasionally. If I were a human and this happened to me I’d feel awful. The dog still seems chipper though. He shares the dog with his ex, they also have 2 kids together.
Jake and I don’t live together.
I got a kitten last year. Sometimes Jake would bring the dog over and it seemed okay. My cat was curious about the dog, but the dog mostly wanted to be left alone. The cat seemed to love sleeping next to the dog. After six of these visits my cat suddenly developed a UTI. The vet mentioned it could have happened due to stress from the dog visits. They gave us a small bottle of medication for the cat. It seemed that the UTI was going away but some time after the medication was given it came back. A different vet scanned her but nothing came up. She said most likely it could be caused by bacteria or by the dog, it was best to keep them apart. The UTI now finally seems to be away. That was so stressful for everyone incl the cat!!!
Jake keeps asking me to call the vet and to ask them if he really can’t bring the dog over?
I’m wondering what I should do here. Both vets just advised to keep them apart but Jake seems adament and can’t stand to be apart from his dog.
Sorry I’m not a native speaker, I hope this was all clear!

My daughter, F 13, went to buy christmas presents with one of her friends. When she came home, she seemed really excited about all the gifts she bought. Because of the excitement, I wanted to see the gifts she bought, that she was this excited. She snatched the bags back from me and showed the gifts but not mine. All the clues i got was, that im surely gonna like it. She saw the T-shirt I was wearing and asked where i got it. It was a shirt of one of my favourite bands and my boyfriend, M 46, got it from me.(I've been divorced with her father for almost 9 years). When I started saying how I wear it just to please him and that it's too light(it was neon pink) and that it's gonna show when I'll sweat, I saw her getting sad and asked her what's going on. She started saying that it's nothing and went to her room. As I saw the only bag, she didn't show me, I picked it up and looked inside. There was a Guns and Roses T-shirt, and a keyring. The thing was, that the shirt was grey and white, so it'll be very visible if i got sweaty in it. I didn't realise that my daughter is standing in the doorway and asked me what am I doing with her gift. I asked her, why did she buy that T-shirt when she knows I have this problem. We started to argue that she didn't know, that I never told her and started crying. We kept arguing, screaming and all and than she yelled that she thought I'll be happy, and hoped that I'd like the gift. Because I had a very bad day at work, I was pretty mad that day. For the sake of the story, you should know, that my dad-her grandpa-died rougly about 2 months before and as they were very close, she was absolutely devasted, because these were the first christmas she'll be spending without him. She repeated, that she thought that I'll be happy and I in the heat of the moment and all the nerves screamed, How can I be f-ing happy when granpa's dead!. She started crying even more and ran out the door of our apartment. It's been over 4 hours, then she returned and haven't talked to me for over three weeks. My mom is on my side, her dad on hers...so my question is, am i the asshole?

Hello all! I know yall arent doctors, but my pain is keeping me awake (again) and Im ready to explore the potential psychological explinations and figured I might throw a line and see if anyone else deals with similar symptoms. Sorry its a bit (super duper) long! I wanted to be as specific as possible.
It started about a year and a half ago, when I would go to bed and would be almost asleep when suddenly my heart would start to race. Then I started to wake up at night with my heart racing. After some googling I decided to stop eating sugar before bed, because my sweet tooth for dessert might be causing it. This went on for a few months.
Then I started having small occasional sharp little pains in my chest and sometimes Id feel out of breath for no reason. Odd. Then a few months later I went on a trip and felt like I was struggling to breath, like a fish out of water, and my chest felt tight. I went to urgent care and they said my vitals are fine and no assistance was needed.
These occasional sharp pains and lack of breath continued through summer and were annoying but I didnt really have the time, money, or energy to see the doctor about it. Then last December, I ended up in the emergency room thinking I had a heart attack- I was lying in bed talking about my day when BAM. It felt like my heart hiccuped three times, followed by a needle sensation going up my neck and head, and immediate need to use the bathroom. I was shaking hard and walking was difficult. My gf drove me to the hospital and after a 10hr wait I was inforned that I was perfectly fine and whatever it was, wasnt a heart attack.
From then on, my chest pain increased drastically. I recorded it for a couple of weeks and couldnt find any pattern to it- sometimes it would feel like a chest palpitation, a sharp stabbing pain, a dull throbbing pain, tightness, lack of breath, a combination of them- it could be left chest, right chest, center chest, sometimes in my arms. Time of day seemed to have little affect, though it happened the least in the mornings.
Doctor gave me a referral to a cardiologist, a pulmonologist, and mental health counceling. Cardiologist had me on a heart monitor and saw nothing wrong, so I checked heart off the list. Pulmonologist I procrastinated on and they book too far out (closest app is like 3 months from now). Insurance denied councelling, but I expected that.
For a while the pain faded and went back to being just occasional. Now its evolved into something I consiter worse. Instead of occasional sharp pains, its now a constant, neverending tightness in my chest, like Im being constricted. I feel like I cant breath. Fish out of water. But ask my partner and she'll say Im breathing normally. The only time I dont notice it is when Im very focused on something (usually working on a project that demands my full attention).
Sleeping is hard- any position is terrible, but on my belly helps a tiny bit, and if I put on headphones and listen to music it might distract me long enough to doze off. But if I try to take off the headphones, or if my gf shifts in bed, or I get an itch or literally anything happens, Im awake and its like my chest is running a marathon or seizing while the rest of my body is entirely relaxed. Worst part is, I started checking my pulse when I wake up like that, and only half the time is my heart beating quick. How can I feel like my chest is racing when my pulse feels normal? The tightness is in my throat now too, thats new in the last few days.
A few people have told me it might be stress-induced. My gf gets undiagnosed chest pain that was real bad in college and occasionally still acts up. I get anxiety sometimes (but I dont have an anxiety disorder) and Ive had depressive patches (not chronic), which doesnt help in my confusion as to whether or not its a physical or mental problem.
Its worth acknowledging for the mental health side of things, its been a really rough year and a half. I started optimistically, ready to level up and work a career job and upgrade from a studio.
To put it in its most summarized form without going into a million paragraphs of detail, heres my stress timeline:
-Moved into a larger place with friends, turns out everyone has chronic depression/anxiety and lots of pressure is on me to baby their brains and do most of the cleaning. Everyones miserable no matter what I do anyways. This is roughly when the occasional pains started.
-One of my coworkers passed away. We were all as close as coworkers could be, and I think they thought I was heartless for not attending memorial stuff, but I am not good with death.
-Put myself out there career-wise, ended up losing 2 jobs before spring. Lots of debt accrued. This is when I went on the trip and ended up in urgent care.
-Parents announced theyre selling the family home I grew up in and my dad built himself. I leave my gf, whose my pillar of love and support, to assist with the process and work a couple decent jobs while Im there. Somehow its not enough and debt slowly creeps ever upwards. I am cut off from my gfs physical support. Stripping down my home was hard.
-Lost one of the two jobs. This is a new record for me.
-I had to put my cat down. She was 19 and I had her since she was less then a year old. Im not good with death.
-Quit job to fly back home. My family house is now gone forever. Im coming home with more debt then I left with, the opposite of my goal. Pains started to get more common.
-Get new job (#5 in less then a year). Pay wouldve been decent if I didnt have credit card bills to pay. Struggle to afford gas and groceries. Debt creeps further upward. Love my new coworkers, but lots of drama there as well.
-Emergency room incident happens. Find out my job doesnt give a rats ass about me as a human being. I am repremanded for not coming into work. "We dont accept doctors notes for same day call-outs."
-Chest pain gets significantly worse. I am still feeling the pressure of caring for my household's horrible mental states. I do most of the cleaning. I work constantly but am still further in debt. I feel like a child, useless. Nothing I do helps. One of my past employers still has not given me my W2, so my taxes still arent done, a huge source of anxiety for me
-One roommate leaves. We now have to pay more to cover the lost portion of rent. Have to ask my parents for financial aide. Significant hit to my pride and mental health. This is when the chest tightness starts to dominate and I started finding it impossible to relax.
And that about sums it up! I didnt mean for this to turn be so long, so I guess TLDR; my chest makes me feel like Im gonna die for no obvious reason, is this a known issue caused by stress? What are y'alls experiences with mental health affecting your physical health? What kind of things have you done to relieve pent-up stress that doesnt want to leave your body?
Thx for your time! Signed, a very tired redditor in pain who has work in the morning.

First Previous [Next]()
Two days later Nathan Sophie and Jim were standing on the bridge, all three had chosen their outfits properly. Sophie and Nathan were dressed as opulently as possible, Nathan in his armoured empire battle suit shining white and gold, his helmet tucked under one arm and a rusty Kettle held in the nook of his other. His hand white knuckle gripping the thing from inside his suit.
Sophie was dressed in her own imperial regalia, a large ornate headdress was bedazzled with jewels, her face was painted white with silver and sapphire paint across her cheeks, a single line of gold going down her black lips. She’d chosen a jade dress embroidered in silver which billowed with smoke around her feet.
Jim was dressed the same way he was the day Nathan found the kettle, ripped and worn clothing that bore the weight of years hung off him but his hair was neatly trimmed and freshly combed, a few days of beard growth was evident on his face and his eyes were tired, red around the edges and he had bags underneath them.
They all stood in a triangle alone on the bridge in silence, the soldiers all standing guard at each end giving them distance, they had already said their goodbyes. And Nathan had spent all of the previous day reading and re-reading the wish he was going to make.
Sophie reached out and gently took Nathan's helmet from him and nodded at him. He took a shaky breath and began.
“I Lord Nathan…” he starts but fails to complete the sentence as a lump forms in his throat.
He takes another breath and starts again. “I. Lord Nnnn” athan wish that my friend and Djinn, Jim, be reborn. Come on and say it! He screams in his head but the lump is there like an anchor on his tongue preventing the words from forming.
Jim looks at him and smiles. “Its alright kid.”
“No it's not.” Nathan complains. “I'm losing you and I accept that Jim, and it makes sense that it's here but.”
“But what?”
“The guy who comes afterwards…what’ll he think when he’s born on the wrong planet.”
The two Djinn look at Nathan for a few seconds and then Jim nods. “Yea. I suppose you’re right, it's not about me anymore it's about him.” he says, taking a look around before sighing. “Well it was good to spend some time here anyway. What are we going to do with the rest of the day then?”
“I have an idea…my lord ” one of the soldiers says moving closer.
“Go ahead,” Nathan replies as the man stops a few feet away from the group.
“Back to the ship. Fly it over Buckingham and let the world know who you are.” the soldier says.
Jim looks at the man and then to Nathan. “You were going to do something similar anyway. Did you figure out a nonlethal method yet?”
“Yea, one of the lads borrowed a SA80, fired a mag at one of us a few fields over. Didn't drain the shield so a dozen of us will be a lot harder to stop…that's provided the royal guard shoot on sight. If we drop from a big ass plane hovering over and ask to meet the queen we’ll probably get a meeting.” the soldier says.
“Did you run this by Cave?”
“Not yet Sir.”
“Get on it. Have the others pack up, leave anything we don't need for the security team. We’re heading back to the ship.” Nathan orders.
Four hours later the sun is at its peak as the Hello Kitty’s Revenge drifted as slowly as it could down across London. Attack helicopters flanked it, guns pointed as jets flew overhead, on the ships speaker as quiet as they could make it and still hear the voices of several pilots were demanding the ship alter course, Fly higher, surrender or be destroyed. As if the first or second volley of missiles had done anything to them so far. They hadn't shot at them since the ship entered London's airspace but that might change. As Trafalgar square drifted out of view, hidden by the belly of his ship.
“Lower the landing gear and stop us just over the gates. Keep her about 30 metres in the air at least.” Nathan tells Jim who was in the pilots chair, before marching out of the cockpit accompanied by Sophie, Cave and the 10 soldiers all wearing their full suits, sabres at the ready, guns on their backs. The plan was to go in, let their shields take the brunt of anything coming their way and cut through anything put in the way.
He walked with his helmet under one arm to the forward landing strut and stood at the end as it juddered down an inch before lowering smoothly revealing a crowd of civilians, a number of armed police outside the gate and a small squad of royal guards gathering inside the courtyard. Sophie waited at the top of the stairs whilst his own soldiers formed two lines behind him. One of the helicopters, a gunship, bravely flew in front of the ship and he stared at the pilot for a few seconds before looking away. The gunship pilot seemed to take the hint because it slid backwards before rising up and flying away leaving them a clear path to the palace.
He watched for over a minute as Jim carefully piloted his cruiser until it was hovering nose first over the courtyard.
“Everyone ready?” he asked not looking behind him.
“Yes sir! We drop on go, you drop after us.” Cave replied. He put his helmet on and heard Cave through the helmet speaker count down from 3.
On ‘go’ the soldiers all step off to the left and right, plummeting briefly before using their suits' flight packs to drop slowly and in formation. Nathan waits for them to land and form a wedge before stepping forwards and plummeting himself. Instead of controlling his fall from the get go however Nathan waits until he’s about a second from becoming paste before full powering his flight system, jets of flame coming from his back and feet whilst tiny bursts of gas come from the front of his suit keeping him stable as he slams into the ground right in the middle of his guards.
“Surrender! Drop the weapon or be fired upon!” one of the royal guard shouts. As he and the rest of his squad take aim at Nathan's group.
In response Cave, who was at the tip of the wedge formation, steps forwards. “Lord Nathan has a meeting with the queen,” he announces.
There's silence for a few seconds. “Drop your weapons final warning!” the Guard shouts again.
“No.” Cave replies. “Let us pass or start shooting.”
The guard hesitates, apparently listening to someone before closing one eye and shooting a single round at Cave. The bullet sparks against his shield before the rest of his squad open fire, shooting single rounds into Cave and the soldiers who stand there blades ready.
When the magazines run empty the royal guards start falling back and reloading. “Advance.” Cave orders and as one his squad move forwards swords at the ready. Nathan follows after them, remaining inside the formation as they walk towards the main entrance of the palace.
Nearly twenty seconds later we’re close to the main door of the palace when shouts of “Hold fire!” ring out and the Royal guard to their credit immediately stop firing, which was lucky since some of the shield readouts on Nathan's HUD were running very low. Cave’s in particular was in the red, not that losing his shield would even slow the man down at this point.
The Guard wait as a man comes out in an odd uniform and speaks to them. “We are to escort you to her majesty.” the Guard captain shouts, the gunfire probably deafened him slightly.
Cave nods and once the door is hastily opened by the guard we head inside. “Sheathe blades” Nathan orders quietly and everyone's silver blades vanish.
The royal guard stands back and their leader moves into the palace entry hall followed by Nathan and his men. Once inside the guard turns around. “I need to know. Are you here to harm the royal family.”
“No, there are simply matters that need discussing with the Monarchy.” Cave replies using his suits' speakers.
The guard captain seems to accept this because he leads the way up the staircase past groups of armed guards. There are no house staff visible as we’re led through the public spaces and into the private areas of the Royal palace.
We pass through several hastily vacated offices until we come to a pair of wide open doors with a quartet of guards outside. One of them steps forwards. “Your guards wait outside.” he says.
Nathan thinks about forcing his way inside for a moment but then nods. “Cave with me.” he says, walking into the study.
Inside sitting at a squat, ornate, tea table on an old richly embroidered two person sofa is the queen, sipping at a porcelain teacup. Standing behind her to her left and right are prince Charles and prince William.
Nathan takes two steps inside before reaching up and taking off his helmet and then moving to sit at the sofa opposite the queen. Cave taking up positing behind him to his left.
The queen sips her tea one last time before setting her cup down “So you’re the little shit that stole my favourite tea pot.” she says startling Nathan.
“Suddenly a lot of things make sense,” he notes.
“Suddenly things make sense. Great, we have a genius. Let me guess your first wish was for something fucking stupid. What was it, a million pounds?”
Nathan doesn't reply for a moment. Considering his responses. He could tell the truth but why play her game. “Does it matter?” he asks.
“I Suppose it doesn't. Fuck sake. Well are going to tell me how the fuck you did it?”
“I wished very specifically that all the Djinn Phylacteries be relocated to my home.” Nathan replies. “On the advice of a friend.”
“A friend…they’re not friends, they’re tools…I did feel for the one those Japanese had, poor thing.”
“You mean Dorei?” Nathan asks.
“Slave yes. That cunt of a woman treated her most valuable asset like a trash tool only fit to mop floors.”
“We at least had ours as a butler.” Prince Charles says offhandedly
“Shut the fuck up Charles did I say you can talk?” “No Mommy.” he replies, bowing his head.
“Then shut the fuck up. Useless child, at least Harry had the balls to leave the family…now back to the subject at hand. What the fuck do you want?” the Queen says reaching for her tea. “And someone pour him some tea, we’re royalty not common businessmen.”
A soldier moves towards the table and pours Nathan a cup of tea.
“Official acknowledgement as an independent state by your self, your government and endorsement going forwards to facilitate the transfer of individuals from being members of earthbound states to citizens of my own state.”
“And what state would that be. The state of chaos?”
“Give it a few years and it will be the start of a stellar empire, for now, I have a small city on a planet some 3000 lightyears distant. It's a terrain like world, roughly 60% water covered. Completely untapped for resources…but when you’re skimming stars for fuel and cracking asteroids for metal. Mining iron from a planets crust seems a little redundant.”
“And what do I get out of this?”
“I don't fuck off and leave, permanently. I have no reason to stay on earth. No family to care for, no friends worth a damn that I haven't already gathered. I already have an alliance with an interstellar conglomerate of species. You want the scraps of that. You do what I ask, and in 10 years, there might be humans out there in the asteroid belt mining for resources. People farming on Europa, fishing under titan. I leave, that leap vanishes.” Nathan replies somehow finding the queen's crass nature easier to navigate than some shrewd negotiator.
“How sure are you that achieving long range space travel is possible in 10 years?” Prince Phillip asks.
“I could drop off a ship for you to study and you could have a working prototype inside a year probably.” Nathan admits.
“And you’re asking for us to recognise you as a nation separate from our selves, and to allow immigration.”
“Yes. 8 billion people on the planet. Why not let a few million go somewhere else and start up a new life? Get unemployment down at least.” Nathan notes.
Prince William nods and Prince Charles opens his mouth to say something before looking at the Queen and bowing his head again.
“Fuck it, why not.” the queen says finally.
“Good, we’re going to need a method of communication, shall I just use your email?” Nathan asks.
“You really are an ignorant little shit. But considering the distances involved. Digital communication is favourable.” the queen says waving to one of the soldiers who grabs an envelope and hands it to Nathan, Cave deftly reaches over and takes it for him.
“I think that's it.” Nathan says standing up. “It was a pleasure to meet you.” he says getting ready to walk out.
“By the way, what did you do with the Djinn? I find it hard to believe they’re all in a cupboard somewhere.”
Nathan turns around and looks at the queen again before flexing his presence for the first time, letting it settle around everyone, the soldiers shudder and look for the threat whilst prince philip and Charles stare at Nathan in shock. The queen simply glares at him. “I set them free.”

I was talking to my friend who just got a new cat and they were telling me about how they set up their bathroom for their cat. I was confused why and they said it was because cats need to be slowly introduced to their new surroundings or else they’ll get anxious. When I got my cat (4 months at the time) she just…didn’t want that I guess? Soon as I got her she just automatically went around my home looking at everything. Wasn’t anxious at all! If anything she had fun diving between pillows and investigating my closet. My friend said that that’s highly unusual (not in a bad way just not what they’re use to seeing and hearing). Anyone else have a cat like this?

1. Transsexual
2. Homosexual
3. Some sort of mentally challenged idk which one

Not transsexual would be the top, i could get to start doing shit i actually want to do in life instead of saving on out of pocket srs, no life long meds (probably), no awkward talks, a bit more people willing to date me, just a lot of things, not having dysphoria would've been awesome
Not homosexual so i could at least fit in a tiny bit better and hide less shit about myself. I'm russian, work in a warehouse, half my coworkers are homophobic and many people on the internet are not very accepting either. I am awkwardly paranoid about looking gay because i don't want to be assaulted for something i don't even act on because i haven't had sex with men yet. Other gay men are not great to me either, about 7/10 of those encounters ended in sex offers for me and i am grossed out by it as someone with low libido. The latter also doesn't help with fitting in with the hypersexual "gay community". I don't relate to most other homosexual men even to those who struggle with local homophobia, being closeted etc. Sometimes just being reminded of being a f*ggot all the time is just not great, jokes about me becoming a femboy and starting an onlyfans, finding a sugar daddy or being submissive to an actual alpha male are not funny either
Not deranged so i could have friends right now at least, maybe a community some people say helps with a lot of things. Maybe i would've had a better job right now and already had money on phallo, maybe my relationships with my mother would've been better rn. Maybe maybe maybe. I'm used to me being that way so i don't hate it Too Much (but it still makes me a very lonely human being. mostly it's the feeling of loneliness what sucks), but other 2 factos about me press on my mental limits and it's not a good mix, i have some hopes it gets better when I'll be able to actually live my life instead of saving money non stop

The name of the manga is ABOVE , is the history of a common person who is in fact the new god, in this world heroes are common sense
people with tipes of power,and in this world there gods with limeted life but powers beyond reality, these gods die and a new god comes
(but no one knows about this god stuff or even the existence of them) this god wich is the protagonist Riku (a common teenager)live in our modern world
and decided to live a normal life he works in a litlle shop (called the bet shop)every day not usisng his powers for combat vilains or became rich because
he thinks is wrong to interview in life with powers.
​
​
The manga start in a comon day where Riku is loking at the clock at 6:37 pm with no
willing to go to work strugling to leave to bed,thinking with himself how lame is a job where you star at 7:00 pm and ends at 6:00 am,
he lives 1 mile from the bet shop so he doesnt bother thath much,after he get ready he have 15 minutes with is enought, steping out he start his routine of patting
cats on the way ,wihtout notice he arrived at bet shop, exactly 13 second before 7 oclock,he meet with his friend jun with work in the shop form 10:am to 7:00 pm,
-Jun:again?! hou do you do this? i know you don't carry any clock or cellphone,how do you come everyday wtih 20 or less seconds for change and never get late?
-Riku: dont know either, i just walk.
-After changing Jun talk about the broken door in the back,he said he spoke to the owner early that day ,and the owner says to let it
till tomorrow then the owner will fix it,after talk of some heroes he saw on televison today,the sky starts to get dark Jun say goodbye and go home;Riku works thinking in fix the door,
but he decited to do not since the problem will be solved naturally tomorrow,after 5:45 the owner son michi came in the shop, he works from 6:00 to 10:00,
after change Riku tell about the door in the back, and michi tell he's already knows about it,michi doesn't like to talk, since he's owner son he just do the 4 hour change
as a favor and don't like care for symphatize,Riku goes home ,tired he start to think about use his power to change his life,but like every day he decidet to do not,
before get home Riku sees something in a straight alley at his left side,since he's less than 5 minutes from his house he fell the need to verify,
after he turn a corner he see, an strong humanoid creature with a bronw aura coming out of his body, the crature have killed 2 heroes in that alley,their bodyes were smashed in the wall,
after the creature see Riku he ask;
-Creature:A common human,looks like the luck wasn't with you today.
The creature atepmt to smash riku's body but he just teleport the creature 30 miles away on
a empty field.
-Riku:I don't want to do this,every life is important even yours, and im not a hero either,hope he does not come back.
-Riku start to go back to his way to home,but as he walk of the alley two thieves aproach him,both are hold knives,Riku know they dindt'kill anybody,since he's not carryng nothing important just
some chips, so he decided to give the his things,the thieves surprisingly are very polite.
-Chivo:Thanks for your cooperation is really hard to rob someone this days with all those heros and those strange villains.
-But unfortunately for Chivo an heroine fall from the sky, Alicia "The White Heroin" wearing an silver armor whit a blade.
-Alicia:I hope as civilized citizens you two woldn't fitgh for a bag of chips.
-Chivo let the bags in the floors as soon he and his brother stars running screaming:THIS COUNTRY SUCKS.
-Alicia:here your bags beter go home now there is a villain around here,in fact a dangerous one.
-Riku thanked for the warning as she start running,riku finally are in home he goes staight to bed since the day was exaustive,he think about the creature he send away,
knowing that if he dind't teleport that thing both the two polite thieves and that gentle heroin would be dead by now,even thoutg he don't like to use his powers he understand is was necessary.
Riku was starting to sleep when he hear a giant noise,he look trought the window and see a big destruction,since he lives alone he doesn't have to worry about parents, so he start to run to the shelters
made in case of a villain attack as any peson do,but in the way to the shelters he sees a lot of houses that have been destoyed from stones that flyed
all the way here,as soon he notices a lot of people smashed by the rock and under the houses,he start to freeze for a moment but understand that even if he want he couldn't bring them back,he just say sorry and
return running,he rund a mile in 7 minutes and the explosiond don't stop ,Riku stop and look around,there 5 miles to the near shelter,running he woldn't make there so he decides to teleport from outside the city and
wait for the herous to solve the problem,as soon he look to outside city direction to focus he's teleport he see Jun his friend with more than half of his body smashed by a stone,he remenber the days Jun stay 1 or 2 hour more in the shop just talking to him
about heroues girls and the future,Riku consider him a precious friend,he see Jun's mother an father trying to save him even he is already dead,as aanother cok fall from the sky smashing them,Riku saw it and
lose his stregth for a moment falling on his knees, he just cry there for a second hearing stones falling from the sky,he rembember why he desn't use his powers,why he value life so much;
-Riku when was a child,have a family,a syster named Hina a mother Himari and his father kenzo,they were happy, none of them have powers,then riku start to dyscover his powers,when playing on the grass riku stops to rest under a tree,
Riku was thirsty so he start to remeber when he drink water with his hand from a river,for some reason at that moment Riku start to feel somenthing falling on his legs,when he look there's water coming from his hand,
he start to drink it till he's satisfyed,then the water end,as he come back to play his friends ask where he found water,he smile and say he's just sweating,
when he get home he come to his father an say he have powers,Kenzo ask why he think he have powers, he explain that he make water out nowere,Riku star to imagine again and in front of him water start to come from his hand,
Kenzo look terrifyed to him an scream to Riku to stop,Riku get scared,Kenzo calm down and and apologyze for screaming and say it's okay,just don't do that anymore,Kenzo take Riku to the room where himari and hina were,himari ask wath was that scream as Kenzo start to explain,
himari star to get worry,the fact is that powers is a rare thing,and for use them properly to the good of humanity those who were born in poor familyes are removed from them by the government,only the rich families could stay with them since they have the structure to create them properly,
they start to get worry thinking about what could hapen with Riku if the government discover about him,and they start to discuss about it,Riku who was starting to discover his powers dindt' understand anithyng,he star to feel what other people were feeling,thei rage,sadness,pain,
Riku dind't like that, so he wonder if he could make them happy,Riku start to imagine his good moments with his family ,and think "be happy",as soon as he thinks this they silence start,Kenzo Himari and Hina fall in the ground, Riku dind't understand in tha moment,but his powers can't change peoples
feeling or bring them to life,he could heal wounds,but his power can't give life,only take them, he fall on his knees feeling the death of his loved ones,the police arrived later after a neighbor talk about some stange noise,Riku was taken to the FFC buylding (Federal Force Control),
there Riku was hearing so many voices so many thoutghs thas he could't speak,then he was tied and blindfolded,he recieve an injection direct in the spine, due to the giant pain he start to scream and fade out,when he wake up, he was in a room sitting on a chair in front of a table with an old man
sitting in front of him,he offer a cake coffe and some biscuits,confused Riku started to eat as he finish he start to cry remembering all that hapenned,the odl man start to talk.
-FFC Agent:So your name is Riku,im sorry for what hapenned but i need to be clar,you killed both your fathers and your litlle siter,we don't know what is your abillity we believe that was somethin as a heart stroke,i believe you remeber the pain in your back,
if you touch you will fell now,it was a fuild made to stop the evolving of powers,we decided that your power was dangerous for you and the ones near you,we found a new city for you,you gonna live alone but your food and all your needs will be provided till you can provide yourself,the only thing tath i could arrange for your to carry was your name,
im sorry for you ,i hope you still could have a good life.
-the old man in fact was terrorized to see such a thing happen to a little child, but still he have to do what he's got to do.
-Riku grow alone,later he start to recieve the memories of the past gods and understand his powers,Riku ask them why he gotta to suffer that,why him,but no response came back,Riku swore to never interview in life with his powers if he could.
-Back to the present,Riku start to stand and decide to stopthat destruction,he flied next to the batlle and lands in the top of a building,he took a hooded jacket from a market,as soon as he arrive he see that the batlle is almost over,there dead heroes all over the place,the center who have over 100 buildings,was left with 3 building standintg,
riku see the 2 heroes left up confronting the villain,riku lend in the gournd and star to walk in their direction,and he see,the heroin from early was passed out , adn a hero stantidg,Agron a hero that fitgh using metal and stones around as armor,he could barely wald with some little pieces of armor most of his body was exposed,he got hit for something and flyes 50 meters away,Riku
know he dind't die,he dind't feel any death,then Riku finally see the villain who detroy the whole city and defeat over 30 powerfull heroes and kill at least 24 of them,Riku freezes when he see that the villain who make all that was the creature he send away early,AS the creature start to aproach Alicia,Riku apears in front of him,he see from the memory from the older gods,that creature was create by one of them,
Serpio,Serpio had a unique skill as a god to give tremendous power to a creature and transform himnhe take a tiger on a forest a give him conscience and a tremendous power,one of his great creations,Farzthec know for the humanity as Crawler "The Beast" one of the 3 natural dysasters.
-Crawler:You again?! Look like i will have my revenge,you run away is a thing,but i dind't enjoy the ride,there is more that i can say for tha way back,but since you pissed me off wath is your name so i can at least fell some pleasure doindg this.
-Riku:Farztech,go away,tihs is enough.
-Crawler:What,who are you?how do you know my name.
-Riku:You take so many lifes,all of them was important,even your life is important,but i can't let this continues,i don't wanna kill you,so go away.
-Crawler start to grow up while screamig in rage.
-Crawler:You?! a mere human,how could you even scratch me,i will detroy this city i will destroy you,i will detroy everifing.
-Riku:Then you leave me no choice
-Alicia start to wake up and see that 10 meters creature in front of a boy with a hood,without streght event to move she tryes to save him,she tryed to talk run away, but the voice didn't come out,Crawler start to preparate a punch,when he start to trow that puns inthe way so many dust was pushed thas was't possible to see nothing,when the dust goes away Alicia see that the creature disapeared,and the boy with the jacket where standing the,
when Crawler noticed he had delyevered such a stong punch that all the giel in the area go cleaned,when he take his hand back he see that Riku was still there,and the ground around him wasn't destroyed,but he was sure that he hit the gorund,he trow another punc direct to him,Crawler see the ground destroyed but the ground come back to what it was, Crawler start to get confused he saw the groud destroyed and saw in be restored,he start tras talking.
-Crawler:What is this?! Your grat power is fix things,is that how you gonna kill me?
-Riku:In fact you dind't understand nothing,i don't wan't to kill you,i want to stop the killing,the fact is that im porwerfull enoght to do things my way.
-Crawler:WHO ARE YOU?
-Riku:I already said,it doesn't matter,i will not kill you,and you will not kill no one anymore,i removed a tenth of a second from the time and locked you here,you can detroy much as you can this wolrd will come back to the state it was in that second,we will not meet again.
-Crawler:BASTARD!!!
-Riku came back to the real world and start to look to a line with 5 spheres floating near it,he thinks with himself(there five of seconds removed from timeline,some god must have removed four creatures from the timeline,but i don't have this memory,theyre extending those seconds,some day they might be able to come back,i wonder how such four powerfull creatures exist),
-Riku:Well is time to go home,or to the shelter since my house doesn't exist anymore,there a hero coming in,the litgh one,look like he"s gonna stay with the credit.
-Riku thows a giant blast of white energy towards the sky and teleport to the closer shelter,the litgh hero Radiant arrived in.
-Radiant:I saw a great litgh and the monter is not here,who did such a thing,look like i have tothink about that later,i should take care of this heroes ,at least the onde who still alive.
-Riku take off the hood and look to the sun finally rising in the sky,thinking,if i was not here,or decided to do nothing how would it end?!.
END episode 1
​
Ps:Im nog good with singals and points,if someone can help correcting i apreciate.

Demi-fluid, Omni-sexual, Polyamorous here..Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈
Living quietly as a heterosexual, monogamous, woman...
Married for over a decade to a man that doesn't love me...
Raised in the bible belt by a Southern Baptist preacher...
A local therapist tried to explain to me I didn't like women...
Parents tried to discourage me from wearing boys clothes...
This one's for those of us celebrating in the closet...yes this month is for you too.
It was a long and confusing journey to finally be able to find the words that I felt best defined me.
I knew I was "at least bi" for a long time but that didn't quiet fit. Only in recent years have I came out to myself officially, and then learned I'm actually either Omni or Pan sexual.
The way I was raised, gay=evil. I remember being confused at myself for not being even a little bit grossed out by lesbians. Meanwhile my best friend went on a tangent about how disgusting that is (learned another girl was bi) and she's never letting her come to her house again.
I didn't want to be disgusted...I always thought the point in life was to love people regardless of who they are. But I wasn't "loving people hating the sin". I genuinely thought I don't think like other christians do, I'm supposed to freak out too. But there was no amount of indoctrination that could make that click inside me. Suppress the hell out of myself, yes..but I never have suppressed others.
The more self searching I did...I felt the need to look into gender identity. You just know when you're different..even if you don't know why..
Well I started withNon-binary..yet at times I'm very feminine. But it's like I'm only half woman. I wasn't Trans...I only really go through phases of my womanly side sporadically.. I generally have felt like "nothing". A gray blob if you will. But saying Im nothing wasnt exactly an empowering feeling.
I knew I wasn't gender fluid because even though I'd LOVE to present as Androgynous basically all the time I never felt as though I was flowing between male and female. If only there was something else...
Then I read every single word in the gender dictionary and I saw it...Demi Fluid. Suddenly, even though no one else on earth knows it...I felt like I finally figured out what's been puzzling me since way before purbity. I made sense.
And then the Poly in me. Ugh. All Ill say is, I'm still thankful to know this about myself even though I don't practice it.
I was NOT a boy crazy girl...yet I'd found at one time I was completely broken inside because I seriously liked two boys. Like ugly crying, in the dark, why am I like this broken. I thought it meant I was a bad person. What kind of person wants TWO people... Ive learned since that some peoples love/emotional needs are more complex. This is something I'll never be able to pursue but found peace in knowing that my heart isn't a scamp...my heart just loves...and that's okay.
So I thought I'd introduce myself and over share a bit. I personally feel ashamed that I'm not brave enough to be free about who I am. And I'm honestly bummed I can't really participate in Pride Month. I guess this is my way of doing so.
It's kinda my unofficial coming out post too because Ive never talked about it like this. So thank you if you read this far. It means more than you know.
Idk if anyone will even read this. But if you're reading this and you're not completely out yet I just wanted to give you a special Happy Pride Month shout out. This month is for all of us. Im proud of who I am, regardless of who knows the details. Issues in life don't come from being different but from trying not to be.
Happy Pride Month everyone! ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜

People were commenting on this video talking about how cruel it was to the cat!

- Everyone just accepting a new fashion something a baron's daughter bring in. How can they become trendsetters so easily? Would people just question it? These girls rank very low after all! I don't see how high-ranking aristocrats can accept someone lower than them that fast.
- Too much sword-fighting: In certain stories, noblemen have to be good at swords to become the head of the family. Also, is sword-fighting the only form of physical exercise here?! Want to be slim? Sword-fighting! Want to make yourself look interesting to powerful men? Sword-fighting!
- Spending money - male versus female: Gosh the bashing of other ladies. If women spend money like they would typically do they are evil, if men buy the entire stores for their lovers they are generous saints.
- Work: All nobles do is paperwork. What do you write so much? Don't you have meetings and inspections? They would always shut themselves inside their office and would somehow still maintain their impossibly huge political power and influence. Also, where are the assistants and counselors? I don't see how there is only that overworked aide and very funny here, a butler.
- Princes having the power to somehow exile people whenever they want. Bullying their lover when they are still in an engagement? Exiled! Accidentally connected to someone who poses a threat to their lover? Exiled! Banishment is a huge deal, and I don't think a mere prince is allowed to do that legally.
- Social events: There is a manhwa in which the FL says that balls and tea parties are "political battlefields" as noblewomen do not participate in politics. How do they fight? They humiliate the FL publicly with gossips, hide chairs so that when the FL come, she can't sit, talk shit about the FL openly in front of her, etc. Considering this is prevalent among OIs, I will include spilling wine, invite FLs to tea parties and then ignore her to make her feel lonely, etc. Gosh. These are the most overused, petty tricks ever. This is no women doing political stuff; it is just petty bullying. The only purpose of this is to then show off FLs in front of characters we will never see again. Also, this just ruins the value of tea parties and balls. Aren't they supposed to be events where people can just hang out? Even if the events are positive, they will be about FLs showing off her newest inventions or ladies praising her to the sky.
- Hunting competitions: Purpose is to show off FL/ML. The winner receives a flower to gift someone they love. They don't serve real purposes unless plot is deliberately inserted.
- No order of succession: It is always the survival of the fittest. Only purpose is to create drama. And then they will go to the point that you have to kill all your siblings to become the monarch.
- Bastard children: Illegitimate children rising to the throne, yeah yeah. They are given the same rights as the legitimate, yeah yeah. I don't dislike this one as much though.
- Wrong titles: I know this is mainly translation but still: king - your highness, non-sovereign duke - your highness, prince - your majesty, duke's daughter - princess.
- Royals losing titles: Princesses lose titles when they marry the peers, princes do it when they become of age and are already not the heir to the throne. I feel bitter about the princesses though. Princess>>>duchess/marchioness/countess/viscountess/baroness so how do they lose their title? And then it will become a plot point for the princess to lose privileges/get assassinated/lose political power etc.
- Palace: empress and their children living in separate palaces as if this is in an Asian setting. If you want to switch to the Western style then just completely cut off all Asian elements.
- Marriage: princes marrying a commonebaron's daughter and everyone just agrees?! Aren't they supposed to marry someone higher, like foreign princesses? This is the setting in which absolute monarchy rules. Monarchy wants to retain foreign relations and benefit greatly, monarchy then sets up marriages with other monarchies. Even the idea of princes marrying a duke's daughter is quite strange already; like, OI's nobility is so overrated/overvalued.
Honorable mentions:
- Evil temple: And we find out the pope is a secret human traffickeuses illegal methods to help the evil prince rise to the throne/etc. I very pray for a truly nice temple/church.
- Master of the magic tower: I always find this to be funny and unnecessary. I guess it is just me.
This is only my opinion:)))

I (20f) have a friend (23f) who i made the horrible mistake of allowing to move in with me. The deal was pretty straightforward: pay a flat $500/mo and help take care of my animals. That's less than half my rent, btw. I told her I'd take care of the rest. The way I personally saw it at the time was she was providing good company and helping me keep the place clean, so it was fair to me and I was okay with it. I can afford the place on my own, so $500 could essentially help build my savings.
So far, she's absolutely taking advantage of this deal I gave her.
As soon as she moved in, her car broke down. Okay, she can't help that. I helped her get to work while I was working two jobs. I'd work 7:30pm-3:30am. Then 5am-11am. Then pick her up for her 12pm-3pm shifts. I did that for two months. And the thanks I got for that was her coming up short on rent, bringing men over and keeping me awake during the little sleep I did get with their, um, adult activities. I ended up quitting the second job and it worked out that I got a $3/hr pay raise at my main job. Her cars fixed now of course and she's been working more so the $500 hasn't been much of an issue. But NOW the electricity bill is freaking sky rocketing. From April through May essentially I was across the lake with my grandparents getting treatment. Tell me why the bill went from $150 to $350?!?!?!? Because she's keeping the lights on when not using them and keeps the AC at 66 freaking degrees.
She also doesn't take care of my animals the way I asked her to. Like I mentioned, in April I got super stupid sick. Like, it led to me being in the ICU for 4 weeks straight sick and I had tried weeks of treatment before it got to that. Altogether I had something like 7 brain surgeries and had a PICC line that I took home for 2 weeks. While I was in the hospital I suffered two seizures that mimicked strokes, and a brain hemorrhage. Just to give you guys an idea of what I was dealing with. I still paid all my bills, by the way. I explicitly asked her to take care of the house and the cats while I was gone across the lake to stay with my grandparents. She complained constantly about cat piss everywhere, spraying, etc. I come home and find the three litter boxes we have full of shit. Literally full. No freaking wonder they're peeing everywhere, you're not cleaning the litter boxes! And she has a cat herself so you would think she knows this! The house reeks of ammonia and shit, too. Which I'm really, REALLY unhappy about.
I also found out she was shit talking me at her place of work. I was home for a day or two, and she claimed she needed to leave work early because I trashed the place (she works with one of my good friends). I WAS HOME FOR LESS THAN THREE DAYS. The quote unquote trashed she was referring to was that I left a bag of discarded fast food on the table. The day after I confronted her about these remarks, she had left out a pot of rice and chicken soup, and there were raw rice grains all over the counter. She also took out a bag of trash but left it on our back porch instead of taking it to the dumpster. But IM the one trashing the place?
She's rude as hell to my company too. She literally gives stank eye and just doesn't say anything, and starts slamming doors and being loud.
There are so many other issues but those are the main ones.
I'm so, so over it. My lease is up in January but I almost don't want to wait that long to separate from her. The only option would be to sublease, I think. And I guess she has people that wanna move in with her so it's not totally out of the realm of possibilities. But she's very delulu and thinking that she's gonna stay in the complex. With her credit and lack of good pay, her friends all make the same amount she does too. The only reason she was accepted was bc of me having a good rep with the landlord. But if he finds out she was supplying minors with alcohol and weed.....hm.
It's cute. She probably thinks she's getting all the furniture and appliances that I paid for if she stays, because I'd be moving in with my boyfriend who already has his own place. Fuck that, lmao. She couldn't even afford to buy it off of me if she wanted to. I'm sick of this chick taking advantage of me.

This is the final phase of the first arc/saga of this new universe which has so far been well received. If you haven't read Phase One and Phase Two, I would welcome you to do so.
Now then, let's finish this arc.
Schedule

• Doctor Strange: The Oath
• The Brotherhood of Mutants 2
• Inhumans
• Captain Marvel
• Iron Man: The Five Nightmares
• X-Force
• Black Panther: War of the Worlds
• Spider-Man: The First Hunt
• Marvel Presents: The Phoenix Force - Part One
• Moon Knight
• Inhumans vs. X-Men
• Marvel Presents: The Phoenix Force - Part Two

Doctor Strange: The Oath

Get a character study director on this, I like the profile of Greta Gerwig but I fear I may be overusing her.
As the title suggests, it's a faithful adaptation of the Oath storyline from the comics, a storyline very small in scale and a lot more personal than the usual Doctor Strange adventure. For the unfamiliar, the story is about an elixir that could potentially save the world from a very specific disease, one that Wong is afflicted with, and the story ends with Strange deciding to save Wong by using the last of the elixir rather than potentially save the world. We will continue to set up Nightmare as the big bad for the final Doctor Strange film, as he possesses access to the affliction the elixir cures, and sends dark sorcerors to try and retrieve the elixir so that he can infect the world, spurring the plot of this film. One of those sorcerors is Nicodemus West who we have already used in the previous Doctor Strange film, so replace him with another sorceror.
Stephen swears by his oath and saves Wong's life at the end, and him and Christine finally get together, completing their two movie arc (Christine will play a much larger role in the plot of this film too so her relationship with Stephen should tie into the main plot instead of being just a side plot thread).

The Brotherhood of Mutants 2

Continue the feud between Magneto and Doom, plants seeds of doubt in Sabretooth to the brotherhood, get Colossus more involved in finding out the Brotherhood's true nature, make Toad a proper player in the game and expand Mystique's and Rogue's characters. I don't have a proper plot in mind but these are the general goals of this film.
This is my next genre experimentation as I want Wes Anderson to direct this. Combining his distinct visual style with old Eastern Europa will create some stunning imagery, I can already see it. He can tone down the action for a more thriller-like plot if he wants to, it's all really up to him how he completes those goals.
By the end of the film, Sabretooth leaves the brotherhood, and is approached by Xavier.

Inhumans

Create a character thriller drama, to the point of it being almost theatrical, as I want this to be a mix of styles. Think of something like Matthew Warchus' Matilda: The Musical mixed with Ari Aster's Hereditary.
Black Bolt needs to be established as a top player in this universe. While the Illuminati isn't a thing yet, there should be no mistake about the fact that not only is he the king of Attilan, but the king of all Inhumans, who are revealed to the world by the end of this film. I don't have a particular plot in mind, but something within the Inhumans would be ideal as I don't want any external threats, rather making this film a self-contained story with its own characters all within its own species. I would include Medusa, Maximus, Lockjaw, Karnak, Crystal, Triton, Quake, Ms Marvel, Gorgon and Tonaja (the latter of which I think could be reworked as the primary antagonist and eventually killed).

Captain Marvel

Get a proper Captain Marvel origin story, going from her human origins all the way to her getting her powers, no real mystery but just a straight shot. Our antagonists are Mandroid and Yon-Rogg, who while they only offer a physical threat at first, must create an emotional dilemma for Carol Danvers. This is why once again we have to get a director who will focus more on characters driving the story to get some actual stakes. Mar-Vell features too, fighting alongside Carol in the final act. We have tiny roles from Nick Fury and Bruce Banner, with Bruce being accidentally ejected into space god knows where.

Iron Man: The Five Nightmares

Adapting the Five Nightmares storyline, with a legacy villain too.
Our main antagonists are Ezekiel Stane as Titanium Man and Justin Hammer's daughter, Sarah Hammer. We have MODOK and The Tinkerer too, but MODOK doesn't die, rather escaping Tony's grasp and the Tinkerer is arrested.
Tony ends his relationship with Bethany in this film because he fully accepts that he's falling for Pepper but the movie's midpoint is where Pepper turns Tony down alongside Stane and Hammer having destroyed his current armour, saying she doesn't want to make things weird and doesn't have interest in him like that. It destroys Tony until Rhodey appears for the first time in the film and gets him back on his feet, which is when Tony reveals the War Machine armour alongside a prototype for Tony's own next armour, setting up our final protagonist pairing for the rest of the film.

X-Force

This is essentially everyone trying to be in an X-Force film while Deadpool keeps trying to turn it into Deadpool 4.
Our roster is Wolverine, Deadpool, a returning Cable, Sunspot, Cannonball, Domino, Multiple Man, Warpath and Polaris, fighting against the Worthington Industries in Archangel and the Brotherhood, namely Magneto, Magik and Colossus.
Magik and Colossus change sides by the end, being freed of Magneto's indoctrination.
Wolverine sees the err in his previous actions during Age of Ultron, trying his best to stop Archangel by making him change his ways rather than killing him. However, nothing seems to work and Deadpool decapitates him, pissing Logan off. The two bicker and eventually come to blows, turning our final act into Deadpool 4 proper as its just Wolverine and Deadpool fucking the shit out of each other. The fight has no real stakes and is basically the punchline to the setup that has been present throughout the movie, but the fight before is the one with real emotional stakes.
The movie ends with Logan and Wade simultaneously decapitating each other, and then their disembodied heads roll next to each other and have a casual one-take conversation for a few minutes in which Wade declares X-Force disbanded.

Black Panther: War of the Worlds

Possessing the same sub-title as the second Namor film, this is a continuation of that story, and deals with T'Challa's death.
Basically the main plot of it is that Wakanda and Atlantis' shaky truce gets worse as time goes on, and Namor, tempted by Storm and T'Challa's absence, decides to break the truce to declare war once again: obviously this is a war crime but if Atlantis is revealed to the world then Wakanda will be too so they can do nothing but fight back.
Shuri is our protagonist and her main arc is the arc of responsibility, realising that even if she may not be ready for the throne, she must take over to defend her country as if she doesn't, Wakanda will be helpless. I will give this movie license to kill a couple of side characters such as Namora and Monica Lynne to raise stakes but it really doesn't need to happen, I just prefer if the rosters of films aren't too bloated.
The film ends with Wakanda successfully defending itself, and Shuri deciding not to go on the offensive and spare Namor's life so he can go back to his kingdom: unlike T'Challa who went on the offensive after losing his mother. All hail the queen.

Spider-Man: The First Hunt

This is an adaptation of Spider-Man: Blue, but replacing Gwen Stacy with Mary Jane Watson. Gwen does play a short role in a flashback to flesh out Peter's story. I want to play a little fast and loose with the continuity, essentially continuing Peter's story from where No Way Home left him off but never really acknowledging if its canon or not, as May is alive, Flash Thompson is a blue eye-blonde hair white guy again (not that I have a problem with Tony Revolori, he was so funny but I don't think he would be the right choice for Anti-Venom). We have Harry Osborn as the new best friend, although he as well as every other character in the film, is unaware of Spider-Man's identity. Norman is here too, set up as a big villain before he is twist-killed by the Goblin serum as he was incompatible with the formula. We also have Dr Kurt Connors in a minor role, he does nothing outside of showing up in a lab a couple times and that's it.
Our main villain is Kraven the Hunter, who hunts Spider-Man down and comes narrowly close to figuring out Spider-Man's identity using his superior tracking abilities. However, he is off by just one apartment, knocking down the apartment next to Peter's, starting our final sequence which is almost a horror sequence as Peter tries to get out of the building while Kraven is there knowing he can't handle him in tight spaces, before the actual final fight begins in which Peter eventually wins but after some great struggles.
Post-credits: Kraven is in prison when he is drugged and wakes up in a mysterious location, untied. He looks around to see Whiplash, Mysterio, and... Mastermind. Mastermind brought them all out with a purpose: to take down their enemies together, as they can do more together than they can alone.
After the other three are out of sight, Mastermind's body changes, revealing his form was actually an illusion. He is crippled, wheelchair-bound. The damage Emma Frost and Xavier did to him was real, but not fatal.

Marvel Presents: The Phoenix Force - Part One

The film opens with Jean and Scott by themselves at home, with a reveal that they now have a child named Rachel Summers. The opening set piece is Scott and Rachel running away after Jean's possession at the hands of the Phoenix becomes apparent and she nearly kills the two of them. This first film in the Phoenix Force is essentially the Dark Phoenix Saga, Jean Grey being overwhelmed and taken under the control of the Phoenix Force. She essentially becomes another Ultron-like threat, fighting everyone all by herself at one point.
This part has essentially every mutant that has appeared in the series who isn't dead alongside the debut of the Illuminati in the form of Iron Man, Namor, Professor X, Captain America, Doctor Strange, Mister Fantastic and Black Bolt. We see Sabretooth and Wolverine in the same place finally too, brothers re-uniting after decades.
The Phoenix is a lone force, forcing people like Magneto, Xavier and Captain America to all work together to stop it, putting aside their differences temporarily. However, even that is not enough to win without losses, as Nightcrawler, Thunderbird, Sabretooth, Lifeguard and Mystique all die by the midpoint of the film. Domino dies too, saying that she's lucky she doesn't have to live through this, really setting the darkness that may lie in the future. I want to create narrative reasons for their deaths but that would require a lot of intricate set-up and payoff, essentially having to write a scene-to-scene script which I don't want to right now. Sabretooth's dead crushes Logan, and he is motivated to kill Jean but him and Scott fight over it, Scott wanting to save Jean from the Phoenix than just kill her.
However, all this time, it's clear that the Phoenix is not limited to Jean as a vessel, as there are hints of yellow present in certain characters. The final battle is another one-versus-all, with the Phoenix fighting the physical threats in one realm while Xavier and Wanda fight her together in a telepathic dimension, neither able to control her mind and only facing resistance from the Phoenix, believing it to be the Phoenix using Jean's telepathy. At one point, Logan manages to get close enough to kill Jean but just as it seems like he's going to cut off her head he is lasered away by Cyclops, which gives the Phoenix enough time to re-direct a Havok blast towards Iceman, killing Bobby and sucking away Havok's power. Scott sees his best friend and brother both destroyed, and is distraught. We see some of the yellow fade from Jean's body as it seems like the Phoenix may be losing the fight against Jean, but when the camera goes back to Scott it's clear the Phoenix actually is changing its host, and Scott, clearly affected by the Phoenix, directs a gold-accented laser at Jean's neck, killing her and releasing the Phoenix Force into the world, where it concentrates into a golden flash before latching itself onto the five closest vessels it can find: Cyclops, Namor, Magik, Blink and Spider-Woman. The Phoenix Five.
Xavier tries to stop the Phoenix once again, asking Scott to let go of the power as it would corrupt him. Scott does not respond, leading to Xavier trying to open his mind, only to find that it wasn't Jean's telepathy stopping him from taking control of Jean, but rather the Phoenix Force itself, as he is only met by a laser from Cyclops to his head. After they had seemed to have finally put their differences aside after years to stop Jean, Scott kills Xavier.

Moon Knight

Get Christopher Nolan in a room, get him to read Moon Knight's All New All Different series, let him work his magic.
For the unfamiliar, Moon Knight's ANAD run is focused on mental illness and illusion more than the superhero aspect of Moon Knight. I think Nolan is possibly the best mindfuck director in the history of cinema, so he could work wonders with this concept. Complete creative freedom given to him, I don't want to taint his filmography.

Inhumans vs. X-Men

Showing more of Magneto's capability to turn people with his words, he is now the head of the Worthington company alongside Mister Sinister, and the two take a lot of known mutants, primarily from the brotherhood, and put them together into their own 'X-Men', a name which isn't owned by anyone since pretty much everyone is scrambling for power and don't really know what they're doing in the wake of the Phoenix Five. Cyclops and Blink are recruited too, but keep their involvement secret from the other three in the Phoenix Five.
This X-Men team is tasked by Magneto with taking down the Inhumans who he sees as mutantkind's biggest threat, this acting as our arc ender for the Inhumans as they don't play a big role in the Phoenix Force storyline.
Inhumans: Black Bolt, Medusa, Maximus, Karnak, Lockjaw, Crystal, Quake (dies), Triton, Dazzler
'X-Men': Magneto, Phoenix Cyclops, Phoenix Blink, Beast, Toad, Rogue, Quicksilver (switches sides)
Attilan does lose Quake but manage to fend off the Brotherhood by defeating Phoenix Blink and proving they can't be defeated just yet.

Marvel Presents: The Phoenix Force - Part Two

The Phoenix Five essentially hold the world hostage, their great power causing fear amongst everyone. This is where we finally get Krakoa as a haven for mutants, ruled over by the Phoenix Five.
After the events of the Inhumans vs. X-Men, Black Bolt talks to the rest of the now expanded Illuminati: Iron Man, Captain America, Doctor Strange, Beast, Mister Fantastic and Black Panther, and they agree that the next infringement from a Phoenix Five member must result in response. Sure enough, Phoenix Namor, separated from Atlantis after his Phoenix powering, tries to regain his kingdom, and this is the last straw.
Cyclops and Iron Man talk, and Cyclops gets angry before the two fight and eventually Tony is forced to flee, knowing Cyclops will win. The Phoenix Five decide to go on the offensive against the Avengers, and that's the rest of our plot: Avengers vs X-Men. Of course this is different, as the 'X-Men' is really just the Phoenix Five while the Avengers include non-Phoenix Five mutants.
The Phoenix Five arrive at the Future Foundation building and decimate it, with Ben and Johnny sacrificing themselves so that Reed and Sue can get away. By then, Captain Marvel arrives, sensing a great cosmic force and holds the Phoenix Five in place for some time before the rest of the Avengers and mutants come, starting our final big battle.
Cyclops is fixated on loss after losing Jean, and focuses on the closer pairs, and the Phoenix Five eventually succeeding in killing Captain Britain (brother of Psylocke), Scarlet Witch (sister of Quicksilver) and Colossus (sister of Magik).
Magik does not realise that Colossus was a target too, and when she sees him die something clicks in her as he cries out to her for help. A seed of doubt. Cable goes to defend Colossus although he knows he is too late, and is attacked by Magik, although Cable is just able to block it, before he is killed by Spider-Woman from behind, who looks at Magik with suspicion - it was clear she was holding back. Storm and Shadowcat are trapped around three members of the Phoenix Five while the others try crowd control, and the two try their best but are outmatched, and they die too.
However, the heroes finally strike first blood when Iron Man uses one of Blink's portals against her and fires a Unibeam through it, hurting and distracting her before Black Bolt finally speaks for the first time, destroying her body. Magik manages to break free of the Phoenix spell after an internal struggle, but the Phoenix Force realises this and immediately kills her from the inside, but not before Magik manages to suck the power from Namor and Spider-Woman into herself. The explosion of power fractures the force into nothingness, leaving just the last piece of it inhabited within Cyclops.
Phoenix Cyclops fights harder than ever but is eventually halted by Rachel, his daughter. He hesitates but continues to fight nonetheless, although it is once again clear that Scott may have one hand on the wheel as he always seems to miss Rachel. Eventually Black Panther manages to get a vibranium cover over Scott's eyes which he takes a minute to get off, time in which the Phoenix Force works on pure instinct in fighting everyone off. Scott finally gets it off and tries to fight again but stops in place and clutches his heart. The camera moves into Scott's body to reveal the Wasp blocking an artery, and she expands out of Scott, killing him and releasing the last of the Phoenix Force which Doctor Strange contains within a mirror cage before its destroyed by a combination of a lot of people's powers.
Post-Credits: Reed and Sue re-form the Future Foundation, not as a building but as a team, with Wolverine and the Wasp joining.
That brings us to the end of The Phoenix Arc, the first of three arcs of this universe. The Phoenix came and was destroyed. The mutants peaked but lost their leaders, the Avengers and Illuminati were formed, the Inhumans were revealed to the heroes, and the Fantastic Four came together and were destroyed.

I had been a hunter for most of my life leading up to this incident. The smell of the warm air and the beauty of nature always had me at ease. I never felt scared alone at night because I have seen everything there is to be scared of. I have seen bears the size of a small car and animals so vicious they would kill anything that moved.
The one thing I was never scared of was deer. I had heard the tales of the Skinwalker, The Wendigo and pretty much anything in-between. My uncle was an expert in tracking and hunting, We always went on trips together and would always come back with a fresh kill. He had something about him, It was a rule. I remember it so vividly because it was weird. He never wanted to go hunting in winter. I never asked why. I don't know but something about it always had me on edge.
One day it was winter and I was about to go deer hunting when my uncle stopped at my front door. When he came in he saw my packed supplies and my rifle and knew I was about to go hunting. He immediately burst into a wrath of anger as he dragged me to a wall and got into my face. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" His spit went all over my face as he looked crazy, He looked primal as if he was fearful of something that he did not want to share, It's the same face you would expect a child to make if they were dumped in the middle of nowhere, The same face of fear you see in people who have PTSD.
I calmly brushed him off and got to the door saying I was going hunting. I was not about to fight with my uncle and ruin this trip as I hadn't gone hunting for close to a month. When you hunt you get adjusted to it and when you go on breaks you actually miss it.
As I got into my truck my uncle peered at me out the window. He was there to take care of my house but before I reversed he left with the door open. My uncle is prone to outbursts. As I should mention, He's only ever done it a few times and it's always in a situation where the reaction suits it. Not this one however. What was so bad about hunting in the winter?
The spot I had planned was an isolated one. It was a very heavily forested area which I had not been to before. I obviously had mapped the area out and brought essential survival tools in case the worst came. But I never thought I would have to use it after all those years out in the forest.
When I arrived the crisp cold air immediately saturated me in discomfort, I quickly got another layer of clothes on before I started to walk to where I would set up camp for the night. The clearing I had chosen was a pretty tight one, There was a big tree in the center that stood tall above the rest. It was called the forest star which suited it. Around the clearing the forest was extremely dense, Almost no sun shone through the top. There was a small hunting tower north of the entrance of the clearing so it was a direct walk from camp.
As I walked ahead I noticed something. There were small droplets of blood littering the ground. My first thought was that it must have been an injured animal or something like that but the droplets were small and almost even. I shook the thought out of my head and made it to my setup and I started to pin my tent. When I was done I checked my watch. It was around 5:30 pm. I had around 2 hours for hunting before it was pitch black and so I made it to the tower.
When I undid my rifle from its case I heard scampering. Shaking it off I took position and waited. As I stood there time almost slowed down, I was in a precise focus and was ready for anything. I wasn't ready for what I saw. Out came 2 small bucks that seemed injured, There were small droplets of blood coming from their eyes. As I focused in I saw that it wasn't dried blood, It was fresh and it was oozing from their eyes.
I was shocked, I had never seen anything like it. Multiple scenarios ran through my head. I was thinking "Had a hunter shot both of them in the eyes and managed to not kill them" But each scenario seemed more unlikely then the last.
I took aim at the closest one and shot it. It stood there for a second just not moving. Then they trotted off as if nothing had happened. Blood was running from the wound so I had obviously hit it, But it didn't seem scared nor phased. I decided that was enough and sort of jogged to my site. I was freaked out and decided that I'd cook dinner and go to bed early.
When I scampered around my pack I pulled out a tin of beans. I grabbed a pot and started a fire and began cooking them. As I cracked open a beer the familiar sound of a branch snapping sounded off next to me. I thought it was probably just a small deer and I brushed it off as I sat and relaxed. I was thinking about the deer and I started to chalk it up to the fact I must not have hit deep and the deer were shocked.
When I finished eating I went to bed. I was shivering in the night cold and I could feel my body shaking uncontrollably. As I dozed off after a brutal 2 hours of cold I heard another snap. This time however, It was a-lot louder. Like a bear. I immediately grabbed my rifle and went out of my tent. My fire burned low and in the distance I saw 2 red lights. I walked towards it when my mind started to race. Something felt wrong.
As I closed the distance my gut was literally twisted, My mind was anxious and I felt like I was about to break down. Then I realized what was wrong. Those weren't lights. They were 2 big beady solid red eyes. There were no pupils, They were just orbs hovering.
When I realized I stood frozen, I thought it was a big cat but what emerged was so much worse. Its fur was black, Darker than the night around us, Its antlers grew twisted and uneven. But the worst part? It was crying blood. Deep red droplets were pelting down its unnatural eyes. I couldn't make a sound, I was frozen in fear.
Then it started to make sounds, The sounds of a baby crying. It was horrible. The sounds of unnatural wails filled the cold air making it worse. My body felt crumpled and so I finally broke out into a sprint. When I looked back it stood there. It wasn't even breathing. But the sounds of that baby crying weren't fading. It was like a speaker was attached to my ear.
When I made it back to camp I rushed to pack my stuff. In a hurry I ran leaving the tent behind and I rushed to my truck. As I fumbled with the keys I saw that something was walking slowly towards me. That's when the whispering started. Terrible faint voices echoed throughout the forest as my mind started to close. I felt my cerebral melting as anything I tried to do would not happen, It was like sleep paralysis.
As I stood there I found the strength to finally open the door and get in my car. I slammed the door shut and that thing was right at the window. I started to sob as I jammed the keys in the ignition. My mind felt fried as I swerved out of there. I didn't care if I hit anything, I just wanted to be away from that thing.
Before I could properly back out it stood up on its legs and it repeated a voice I recognised “You… You do not escape thee.. The forests are.. Mine..” It was my grandpa's voice. He died when I was 6 and I never knew any of the details.
The thing then made a howl, a terrible shrieking howl that hurt my entire body. As it did so I heard scampering as more of those things came out. They had blood running from their eyes as well. The baby cries started again and thats when i finally drove out of that fucking place.
When I raced home I immediately barged into the door. My shoulder ached but I didn't care. I shoved my door and locked it and ran into my kitchen. That's when I saw my uncle sitting at the table enjoying a small glass of scotch.
"So.. You saw what I did , didn't you Anthony?"
"I..I" I couldn't form words. I was so shocked. My uncle came up to me and said "What you saw out there is my rule I abide by. There are things in those forests in winter that are so horrible even the most seasoned can't handle it. I saw it when I was a boy and since then I don't hunt during winter."
I finally mustered a sentence "W-What was it." He took a small sip before sitting me down "You saw something called Urburak, It is an ancient being that dwells in the forests during these winters. Hunters who see it usually never are the same again but some never come home. I was lucky."
My uncle sort of sniffled as he told me about his encounter with Urburak.
"When I was 14 my father and I went out into the woods on a very cold winter to hunt. Our family was struggling so we didn't have much food. When we were hunting my father called out to me but before I could even get to him I heard him yell out before he fell silent. I never saw him again. But what stood there was worse than the loss of my own. A deer with red eyes, Black fur and twisted antlers stood there. Blood was running from its eyes. Then it started to cry like a baby."
My uncle broke down and had to take a second before continuing. I comforted him as I was teary eyed.
"It.. It ran after me Anthony. On 2 legs. It was like a human and I rushed to get away from it. I managed to get myself." He rolled up his sleeve to reveal a terrible red scar that ran across the entire underside of his arm. "It was trying to feast on me, It knew I feared it. But eventually I managed to lose it."
He finally finished his scotch before continuing.
"I was stuck in those forests for 3 days fighting to survive. I heard its cries and whispers all around as I tried to make it out, I finally arrived at a road and was taken in by the police. No trace was found of my father except for one thing. They found blood at the scene and tested it. It was my fathers. What was strange about it? It was mixed with his tears."
My uncle finally stood up. "Fear it for it knows who you are." Those were his last words. He left my house and the police found him wrapped up in a noose 2 days later. It broke me. My hunting buddy and best friend was gone.
There was 1 detail about his suicide that was never resolved. He had droplets of blood coming from his eyes. The coroner's inspection said it was an aneurysm. But I'm not so sure that is the truth. I am 50 now and I haven't been hunting in 2 decades, I can’t even go into the forests anymore. I'm thinking about going back and seeing what Urburak is. Maybe I can kill him..
Beware Urburak, For he lurks in the cold.

Saw the flash twice, heres the full plot leak for the unfinished cut showed to us.
-The film begins with Barry Allen trying to buy a drink at a restaurant while an employee rants about his home life to Barry.
-Barry gets a call from Alfred alerting him that Batfleck is in need of help due to a robbery gone wrong.
-Barry begins to get ready and the title card of the film starts appearing on the screen but quickly cuts off as a group of Flash fans interrupt Barry for a moment to geek out. Barry speeds off in a thrilling run around the US to Gotham and emerges at a building thats collapsing.
-It cuts to Ben Affleck, who is chasing down an armored truck. Barry begins to complain about being “the justice league’s janitor” but is cut off when the building begins to collapse.
-Barry races up the building and eats a bunch of snacks to recharge his speed and slow time down further. Flash is able to save everyone in very creative and odd ways (he stuffs a baby in a microwave!).
-Batfleck has a chase scene on the highway and nearly dies but is saved by Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman cameo is brief.
-After that, Barry gets on the phone with Henry Allen who is positively never gonna see his way out of prison. Henry tells Barry to give up on it.
-Barry changes into suit while on the phone with Henry and he cries in front of his childhood home where he’s remembering the day his mother was murdered.
-Henry is disconnected from the line and in a fit of anger and despair, Barry accidentally runs so fast he realizes he can go back very far in time.
-A cgi henry cavill, gadot, affleck, and momoa shows up in this scene as its showing the events of justice league fighting superman.
-Barry meets up with Batfleck and has a discussion about grief and the possibility of changing the timeline. Barry asks Batfleck to maybe get a bite or hang out sometimes but Batfleck declines and states “Maybe another time” before riding off in his expensive car.
-Iris West shows up and asks barry to come inside and chat as friends. Barry races into his apartment and tidies it up but it all unfortunately comes apart into a giant mess as soon as Iris walks in.
-While talking to Iris, Barry realizes that he can change the past and get rid of all his grief. Barry changes the past by putting a can of tomatoes in the cart Nora is carrying so that Henry never has to leave their home to get more. Nora is saved and seemingly Barry has gotten his ideal life.
-Quickly, its revealed that Barry is actually in 2013, and that the real Barry of that timeline (Barry 2) is 18 years old. Barry 1 brings Barry 2 into his room and explains that there being 2 Barry’s is extremely catastrophic.
-Barry realizes its the date hes supposed to get his powers so he takes Barry 2 to the CCPD lab to make sure Barry 2 gets powers. Barry 1 loses his powers but Barry 2 gains them.
-Theres a really funny scene of Barry 1 trying to phase through walls but he just keeps repeatedly hitting his head on the wall and running like a crazy man until he realizes he has no powers.
-Barry 2 tries out his powers and ends up butt naked and responsible for multiple car crashes in a very funny scene. Barry 1 and 2 witness on the tv the arrival of General Zod and we see a flashback of Barry 1 trying to save people in the ground zero event.
-Barry 1 tries to assemble the justice league but realizes none of them exist in this timeline anymore. After discovering that this universe has a batman, both Barry’s set out to find him.
-They arrive in Keaton’s mansion but its empty. While talking about batman, the barry’s are ambushed by keaton batman who’s acting feral and is rocking a long white beard and hair.
-Barry 2 subdues Keaton who then hears the barry’s out. Keaton explains time travel via a food analogy (something about spaghetti).
-The Barry’s get into an argument about each other’s behavior and Barry 1 gives a speech to Keaton about how he was a real hero and he needs to help him save his mom. Keaton finally agrees to help and the team heads to siberia (?) to rescue supergirl.
-Theres a big fight scene thats amazing with michael keaton fighting like you’ve never seen before. They almost all die until supergirl is exposed to sunlight and kills/disarms the humans. They head back to the batcave where the team and supergirl has a conversation with Barry 2 about humanity on the top of wayne manor.
-Supergirl says humanity is evil and not worth saving, and that her one mission was to protect kal-el. Supergirl flies off to fight general zod. Meanwhile, Barry 1 asks keaton batman and barry 2 to help him get his powers back.
-They attach a rod into a batman weather balloon and Barry is struck twice by lighting but it fails leaving him all torn up. Supergirl returns to the batcave and brings Barry into the sky where hes hit by lightning and receives his powers back.
-Supergirl believes in humanity because the flash couldve left her to die but helped her. The team regroups, Barry 2 makes a suit out of keatons, and they fly off the fight Zod.
-Zod wins in every timeline, supergirl is killed numerous times, keaton batman dies twice (once by suicide and once by being killed in battle by a kryptonian). Keaton death scene is great, he gives up on fighting and thanks barry for saving him even one time before telling barry to go fix the timeline.
-Barry 2 doesn’t believe that they should strop trying to save supergirl and keaton and suddenly the black flash arrives in the speed force and attacks them.
-Black flash explains that hes Barry 2 after decades of trying to save the timeline and that hes so close to doing it. Black Flash also explains that he made himself exist by pushing barry into his world in the first place.
-Black flash tries to kill barry 1 but barry 2 kills himself to prevent Black flash from ever existing.
-The multiverse begins collapsing and we see glimpses of George Reeves superman (all cgi), Teddy sears Jay Garrick (cgi body but a real head), Adam West batman (pretty sure its a cgi rendition of a still frame), Chris Reeves superman and Helen Slater supergirl (all cgi), Nick Cage superman fighting a giant spider (nick cage im pretty sure actually is cgi in this scene but its passable).
-Flash runs back in time and runs to the very moment when he changed time. He puts the tomato can back and talks to Nora under the guise of someone who just misses his mom.
-He begins to cry and Nora hugs him and tells him that his mother would be so grateful to have a son like him. Barry pauses time and holds Nora and say his last words to her before placing the tomato can in a place that gets Henry Allen out of prison and cleared of all crimes.
-Barry returns to the future, Henry is free, Iris and him have a date, and then Bruce Wayne call him on the phone. Pretty sure the voice is George Clooney.
-Bruce Wayne pulls up and Barry gets very excited but the man who steps out of the car is not Affleck (they dont show who it is). Barry screams “Who the fuck are you?!” and the movie ends. Yes, they use the f-bomb.
Any further questions would be fine for me to answer.

Hello dear people, I had a rather usual but unpleasant experience yesterday, which I would like to write about and get off my chest. Maybe some of you can relate or have had similar experiences.
I went to a club alone to dance and talked to really nice people in the queue. During the conversation, I noticed that I was building a wall internally between myself and the people around me, and between my external self and my inner thoughts. It feels as if I'm not really present. Even now, as I write this, I can feel myself tensing my jaw, and a thought, still wordless and formless, hovers above my head. It's almost as if I'm afraid of saying or being something wrong, or being discovered, and that thought takes the form of a destructive sword that hangs over me (is that why they say the sword of Damocles hangs over someone? ^^). Anyway, those were really nice people, but I noticed that at some point, I became quite distant and felt like I shouldn't be there or participate in the casual and relaxed conversations (to make the feeling bearable, I tell myself that the people are uninteresting anyway). I was completely sober that evening, only drank an energy drink, and smoked many cigarettes. As I write now, I feel a strong longing to go back and do things differently, but I know that's not possible. In particular, I would like to tell a young man named Olli that he's really adorable and I find him likable. He exuded a naive innocence that I believe, or at least think, I will NEVER have again and never truly had.
I noticed the feeling of alienation when someone asked for my name. It felt as if that information was somewhere in my mind, or rather in my body, but at that moment, almost like a hard drive error in a computer, it wasn't available. When asked about my current occupation (I'm a student), I could only utter one word: my field of study. No enthusiasm about it, I "forgot" what I do there. It's as if I don't really experience what I do on a daily basis. I had this phenomenon during my bachelor's degree as well. After a day of studying, I would realize on my way home how much I had been clenching my jaw. On that way home, I regularly, if not almost always, had to sit alone in the car for 10 minutes or find a closed quiet place where no one could see me and "shake it off." The shaking off was a ten-minute act, my whole body trembled intensely, my thoughts raced, and although not chaotic, they were not particularly meaningful. At least, I hadn't thought for a long time that it wasn't normal and that I needed help. Even today, I don't have a real sense that I have truly completed (and experienced) my first degree. This is how I feel about many things or events in my life (even complete chapters of life are forgotten or cannot be reached in terms of feelings for this chapter). I engage in strength training at a relatively high level and objectively have the corresponding physical appearance. I occasionally hear comments about it. Only now, at 28, can I slowly believe and accept that people are not lying to me, not trying to take something away from me, not expressing their envy (if at all), not trying to harm me, but simply expressing that they appreciate what I do. This is also valid in other fields, like work-related appreciation or the appreciation of me as a friend to my dearest friends.
In my first relationship, which started when I was 23, a woman told me for the first time, aside from my mother, that she loves me. In that moment, I had a panic attack. Objectively speaking, life is good to me. But, I can rarely form clear thoughts that would bring about a change in my circumstances or accept the present circumstances and see myself and my fellow human beings for what we are: humans, with good sides, weaknesses, lies, and deep truths. I suffer from isolating myself. But in the moments when it happens, I feel utterly powerless. Last night, someone in the queue offered me gin, although I never drink alcohol. I took a tiny sip and felt that something was wrong; the feeling of alienation became even stronger. I asked the person who offered me the gin if there was something else in it, and she denied it. I noticed how genuinely concerned people were about me. I had the urge to confess to them that I was having a small, silent internal panic attack at the moment, that I was afraid that they didn't like me, but what's even worse, that they did like me, that they trusted me, that they found me likable, and that they could see how much I would love to live, but I hide it behind a facade of rationality and efficiency. All the things I truly need to live (and not just survive), I actively push away (and regret it at the same time, but I realize that the good feeling of being human together is (for me) like suppressing the urge to vomit in public, to avoid the shame of vomiting in public and also to avoid seeing what was inside me and is now in the toilet, not allowed to come up). I don't trust the statements of most people and spend a lot of mental effort analyzing their intentions. Most of the time, I don't assume that the intentions are good, neither with other people nor with myself. The thought that people have good intentions scares me, perhaps because it's not as easily categorizable and controllable as the opposite assumption, namely that people generally have no good intentions. Maybe I'm also envious of people like the young man Olli in the story, who seemingly have no problems, no racing thoughts, no shaky ground beneath their feet, and the feeling that at any moment, a statement could be made about them revealing what a bad person he is, and the consequence would be that he's forever banished. At the core, I'm a helpful, loving person and I think I've understood what the important things in life are. I just find it incredibly difficult not to disgust myself and to touch the feelings, even my self-perception (the feeling of myself, not self-esteem). I tend to intellectualize a lot and touch that self-perception with gloves made of cumbersome thoughts and word constructions. But I realize that's not the solution and I don't want it anymore.
There have been and continue to be moments when none of this is true, with trusted friends or when I'm alone, mostly in nature. Basically, I'm afraid of isolation in both directions: if I show myself (even to myself) as I am in this moment, I have a great fear that it's "too much" and that I repel or overwhelm people, pushing them away. On the other hand, if I don't show myself as I am, which is more often the case, the isolation has already taken place. There is no human exchange happening. Somehow, as I write this down, it appears to me like a funny dilemma, a tragicomedy. I know that the only way out is to show myself as I am, even though it disgusts me and is difficult for me.
Thank you for reading. If you can say something about it or know if other people feel the same way, please let me know. Feel free to ask further questions. I've considered doing an Ask Me Anything (AmA) as this story is certainly not build on a random occasion but the result of the life i have been living until now, but for now, I just wanted to write down and share the experiences of last night, since this story represents a quasi pars pro toto.
I wish you all well, if not now, then soon :)

I’m feeling kinda hurt and i would appreciate advice on a situation happening between me and my close friend/co worker. We have been friends for 3 years and are both 19, I’m not living with my parents and for the most part pay my own way. My prom is coming up on the 20th and the dress I had no longer is wearable due to a recent weight change. My friend has her dress from last year and she told me I should come over and try it on, that was 3 days ago and today I asked if she had asked her mom yet if I can wear it (her mom bought it) and she only told me she doesn’t want to talk about it, and that she’s busy. I know she’s second guessing letting me wear her dress because it’s special to her but If I’m being honest, I’m hurt over it. I keep on thinking how I’d help her in this situation. If she doesn’t say anything tomorrow I’ll use my credit card to buy a dress and it’ll probably get here on time. I would appreciate advice on how to handle and not hold a grudge against her.

My cat woke me up super early this morning and I’d like to get some more sleep. I’d love to chat a little bit but then just fall asleep together, there’s something about it I just love. Willing to make it a regular thing too if we click! Just graduated with my masters, and I’m Asian, skinny, currently live on the east coast but from SoCal! Happy to talk more over discord or snap :)
As for some of my hobbies/interests, I’m applying to MD/PhD programs currently, I play piano (have been for 20 years now), I love to cook, and I love coffee! Other interests are video games (hitman 3, humankind, civ, rocket league, apex) and photography.