Sorry if this has been asked a load of times, I did try to search before asking.
Often if I'm watching a video (not in background, not fullscreen) and I pick up my phone, I accidentally start a new video. This happens A LOT. It can't just be me, right?
Could we get an option either to have to double tap on a video to start it, or the videos in the feed beneath the video I'm watching to not reach the edges of my phone screen?
Your work is amazing and I appreciate it enormously.
Thanks.

Hey, I am thinking about potentially creating a global yet small community of AI entrepreneurs. I know that a lot of communities already exist, but this one would be specific for AI entrepreneurs to build together. I don’t want it to be big, since I want it to be active. That is the way to keep it interesting and avoid the noise.
We could use slack for example, to make it a bit more work related than just for soft engagements. We could tag everyone with the skills that they have and interest, to make it easy for people to connect and start building stuff. Tags could be tech, growth, product, fundraising, business, etc. The goal would be to actually launch new products in the AI space.
I am a serial entrepreneur myself with an exit with one of the biggest providers in our vertical a few years ago. I am finishing a PhD in AI and have been working in the AI field in the industry for many years now.
I think this is a unique moment in time. The market will change substantially as AI brings new capabilities to the game, but my perspective is that the business models for AI are yet to be built. The bottom line is that as with any platform shift, we will see the creation of the Googles of the future during this time. I think that we have much more probability of success if we work together to try to conquer the market step by step. My feeling is that the grind will be much harder on this wave than any other for a variety of reasons, from the macroeconomic environment to the very fast pace of how things are moving.
I know that communities exist already, I am in a program with an accelerator myself, but I would scope this new community in a different way. It would be the place to meet and to build together. Everyone sharing the same pains, being in the scout for the new tech that just launched, helping to push out new deals, connect with VCs, all those things. Let me know if this would interest you.

So the other day I made the mistake of reading linked in comments. I got the whole "gen z buy Iphone so they poor" argument wich is fucking asanine, how many people actually buy a new I phone or whatever as opposed to getting a contract, finance or refurbished? I'm willing to bet not many. But I say I should be able to buy an Iphone or whatever not worry about how my £50 a month contract is actually too expensive. People should be able to have nice things when they are young, I don't understand why anyone is not for that, well I know why it would mean fair wages and things like rent control and the poor business owners just can't afford to loose like %5 profit in exchange for increased worker retention, mental health, satisfaction and productivity.
Then there was the whole "gen z just don't have the skills" yeh motherfucker why don't you have actual graduate programs, it means a more productive workforce on the whole, higher employment and better mental health.
The whole "gen z want it all, they want a fulfilling job that pays well" is that sooo much to ask motherfucker? Honestly? I want to make impulse purchases and have nice things without working weekends, like the fuckers I'm ranting about.
Honestly the fact these people exist if fucking horrendous. And they are the ones making decisions? Holy shit. For a lot of people the only meaning they can find in their lives is having nice shit, the job sucks, boss sucks and you have to go e a massive portion of your money to a rich corporation that owns your house, knowing the current system is flushing away your future and everyone else's for a 1% rise in GDP. So what's left is to consume, you can buy Funko pops, Warhammer 40k or AOS, bad dragons, comics, manga, a car and so on. It's kind of like religion being the opiate of the people, you don't start taking Morphine (normally) and you don't become addicted if everything is fine. But it's getting to the point where even that is becoming inaccessible to soo many, then what? What do people do when they can't have their drugs, there plastic crack and silicone smack? I don't think they will actually understand the root of their dissatisfaction is the capitalist system unless people adjutate and sperad class consciousness, kind of as lennin said.
Idk I'm venting

extremely new to reddit. sorry. just really need a place to talk. this will probably be long.
10 years ago i lost my dad to stomach cancer. they found it very late so he died very quickly after being diagnosed. he chose hospice so i was there every part of the way to watch him die. i was 13 and it really messed me up. i still have unresolved trauma from it.
since then, i have suffered from very persistent and extreme depression and anxiety, and some ptsd. it obviously impacted my formative teenage years intensely negatively. i struggled with serious suicidal thoughts all through high school. since graduating in 2017, it slowly got less severe, but depending on life events could easily come back full force.
for the better part of this past decade i attempted to receive help through therapy, psychiatry, and many, many prescription medications. i have throughly exhausted these tools that i was lucky enough to receive thanks to my caring mother. however, it was never enough. i do not feel that with this help there was ever any noteworthy improvement. i have not been to therapy for over a year and i have not taken any medication for two. i do not intend to seek further help in either form.
the reason i have come here to talk now though is not because of any of this. about two months ago now, my mother died of cancer too. it wasn’t like my father’s. it was a much more torturous and cruel experience for my family and i in how slow and debilitating it was. she was first diagnosed with liposarcoma a few years ago. it’s a very rare form of cancer in which there is very little to do in way of treatment. she underwent a successful surgery to remove a huge tumor. the nurses and doctor admitted it was a miracle she survived. she was cancer free for a couple years, but another tumor formed. she needed surgery again, but she suffered a lot more from the ordeal this time. they removed a kidney and some muscle. she was much weaker afterwards. but still she fought to be healthier, so it wouldn’t come back. less than a year later, it came back anyway. too big a tumor for surgery in her current physical state. she was forced to choose between chemotherapy to attempt to shrink the tumor, or live like normal as long as she could until it killed her. she chose to take a chance with chemo. it ruined her. she couldn’t complete the full treatment plan. it wasn’t even working in the first place. she couldn’t undergo surgery. all that was left was for her to die. and just like my father i watched her rot. i watched as her body and mind failed her. an impossibly cruel fate for someone so beautiful and kind and loving. she deserved a much better life than what she got. and that is putting it egregiously lightly.
because of my mental state i made my mother suffer through my youth. i’m the youngest of four children so she already worried about me the most. i amplified her anxiety tenfold. at times i was cruel to her due to my struggles with anger management. i am not satisfied with my relationship with my mother. i always wanted to be much, much better for her. but the reality is that i’m not. i tried to step up past my limits for her during her final months, but i’m kidding myself if i thought even for a moment it could make up for the years of pain and disrespect i inflicted upon her. i always have and always will hate myself for it.
i was not ready to lose my mother, and i mean that in multiple ways. due to my extensive depression i spent almost all my days up until maybe 2021 doing absolutely nothing but finding distractions from reality. my life was consumed by pastimes like video games and anime. because of this, i have few life skills. my mother had immeasurable knowledge and talent. yet i never took the time to learn anything from her. i relied on her for much, much more than i ever realized. i moved out almost a year ago to rent a place with a couple of my very good friends. i work a minimum wage job because i dropped out of community college after 2 years. i can barely take care of myself. i make only enough money for rent and utilities. i can’t afford food. thus far my mom was helping me pay for extra things and if i’m lucky my roommates will buy me food but now that she’s dead i’m totally on my own with supporting myself and it’s just starting to hit me when i paid my credit card bill and have next to nothing left.
i have a very wonderful boyfriend. we’ve been dating for 2 years. he is genuinely perfect and has changed my life. up to this point we have shared the kind of love you think is fake or only exists in books and movies. i thought i would be able to survive my mother’s passing with his support. for a time i did. we are long distance but he came to visit right after she died. he stayed with me for more than a month and even though my loss was painful i still thought things would be okay because i want to share a future with him. however, since he left and since i’ve returned to work, i have felt my mental state rapidly decline. it is to the point i fear i’m straining our relationship. he is desperately trying to help, but his words don’t seem to comfort me anymore.
i cry every night now. even on nights where i’m too hopeless or numb to cry, i cry in my dreams. i have never, ever been at this low a point in my life. not even losing my father left me like this. my friends have all been laughably removed from my suffering. my two roommates who i considered my closest friends are so far removed from this that neither of them even spared a typical “sorry for your loss” when she died. it disgusts me. everyone in my friend group either has never lost a loved one, or has such a terrible relationship with their parent(s) that they couldn’t even imagine what it feels like to love a parent, let alone lose one. which means the lack of empathy is utterly horrendous and intolerable. even sympathy can be too much to ask from these people on this topic.
all of that is to say i am isolated in my own purgatory. i feel nothing anymore but anger and disgust. hobbies and pastimes i used to enjoy that would have helped me in the past mean nothing to me anymore. my suffering is amplified by the fact that i have been mildly lashing out at my boyfriend, the one person in my life right now who has been actively listening to me and caring for me through the entire unfiltered experience of watching my mother die. i reward his patience and positivity with contempt or blatant disregard in favor of misery. at times i am angry with him simply because i see him as an obstacle preventing me from killing myself. because if he wasn’t in my life, i 100% would be dead right now. and every day that i survive amplifies my desire for suicide just a bit more. i don’t know how long this will go on. it’s starting to affect my memory, because i feel like i can’t even remember the things about my boyfriend that make me happy. when i try to remember anything specific about us i can’t focus on it. nothing is there. i can’t remove myself from this numbness and it infuriates me. i don’t want to self sabotage this relationship but i’m afraid i can’t stop it from happening.
i guess a tldr would be hey i have watched both of my parents die from cancer and it has given me insurmountable trauma, i truly lack emotion now but i struggle with killing myself cuz there is a small sense of self that still worries about my godsend boyfriend. i just don’t know what i want from life anymore

Recently met up with someone in an empty Chick-Fil-A parking lot, on a Sunday, from Facebook Marketplace to buy a new Dyson Airwrap for 350$. I paid them via Cashapp, and after that they left. Upon further inspection, the Dyson Airwrap is most definitely fake, and I pretty much just got scammed. Is there anything I can do? I know Cashapp won’t do anything, should I file a police report? Would CFA give me their CCTV footage for that day so I can find his plate number? Or should I just accept the loss? This incident happened one week ago today, any help is much appreciated.

My mum keeps demanding money from me and it's ruining my mental health
Idk if this is the right sub but here goes. I'm a university student currently living at home with my single mum and a young sibling (who doesn't work). I have a decent part time job and I'm very frugal with my money. My mum, whose job is barely above minimum wage, made various irresponsible financial decisions and then often at the end of the months doesn't have enough money to pay her bills. (She drops 500+ dollar on a fancy perfume this month) And then she told me to pay her bills. And it would be big sums too. Like 500+ dollars everytime and it's a very big amount for a university student like me. I'm very stressed out because it seems like she wants me to graduate so she can quit her job and made me the sole provider instead. It's causing me to be angry and resentful of her, because it seems like all my efforts to be frugal is out of the window cuz I have to keep covering electricity, gas, wifi bills, etc
I tried talking to her and suggested we come up with better financial habits but she have a full on mental breakdown. And become very toxic. (In our culture you can't talk with your parents like that) And after that I just don't wanna deal with her breakdown anymore, so I stay silent and pay everything she asked. It's ruining my mental health and Idk what to do. I can't work more hours because my degree (STEM degree) is very difficult, with a lot of maths, and required significant efforts in studying, so if I work more my grades will drop. I don't think I can move out either because I'm only a university student, and with the current rental crisis I doubt moving out will do much for my happiness (because being broke isn't fun when rent is 70% your weekly earnings). I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm resentful of my friends for having nicer parents. It's like fucking eating me up inside that I have to be born into this household.

See title, basically. I'm new to the TCG. I see a lot of youtubers walking around with a magazine type booklet that lists all the cards in a set. I've tried every Google search I can think of and all I find are hits from this sub where people share pics taken of set lists.
Where does one get such booklets?

We've been together for almost 7 years. When we first got together I found out I was pregnant with my exes child and he stuck by me through everything and raised him as his own. We went on to have a second child and about 6 months after he was born everything went downhill.
I always considered him to be my soul mate - he supported me like no one else and encouraged me to be the best version of myself. I thought we were the best team despite our big age gap.
Last year, he became close friends with a girl from work but it was a very strange friendship. I am not the type of woman who is fussed with men being friends with women - I have male friends of my own and I trusted my partner. She had 2 kids who got on with mine so they would often meet up and let the kids spend time together. The thing is my partner was acting very secretive about it - regularly deleting their chats, not telling me they were meeting, carrying a second phone etc. Basically all the red flags of cheating.
Since I've met him he's always had porn on his phone. It doesn't necessarily bother me until he left his second phone at home. At this point I already had suspicions so I looked and found very provocative images of this girl in amongst his porn images. I assumed she sent them and went on a rampage. My fiance and this girl were both managers and had gone together to a managers night out with our boss that night. I sent the images to her, her fiance and mine. I accused them both of cheating and told her fiance what she had done. Anyway, long story short it turns out they were actually just friends - my fiance just decided to use photos off her Facebook and Snapchat as wank material.
The worst part about all this is I'm a pushover - my other half said he never had a connection like he does to her and still wanted to be friends and that he had no other friends (he doesn't he moved to my hometown when I was pregnant with my first child and knows no one). So I didn't want to take away his only friend. But I couldn't deal with it at the same time. They spoke about each other like they were I'm a relationship. Looking back, I am aware it was an emotional affair and eventually I broke and gave him the ultimatum of me or her. He chose me. Or so I thought.
Things were up and down after that. I never felt good enough to please him - he began relying on his porn more thanbeing intimate with me. He caused a fight whenever i went out with my friends. He criticised me over everything. He broke my confidence and self esteem slowly and we began to fight a lot. I lost my trust in him completely but I wanted to make it work so we tried.
Recently it got a bit better. The past few months there have been less fights. But the other night, something in my gut told me to check his Facebook. He was at work so I looked. He was part of a group for (almost) porn images eg underwear, bikini pics. But in this group I also found images of children. And posts from other people saying they had videos of children. People trying to sell files to do with children. All involving girls. I found no evidence of him being involved - he hadn't contributed to these or anything and he had actually reported a few of these posts. But I felt sick that he had actually joined a group and STAYED in it after seeing this!
It's safe to say I told him we were over and I wanted him to move out. I finally plucked the courage to get it over and done with. I am a shell of my former self and its impacting on my parenting and I rarely see anyone now. I am a broken woman but deep down there's still love there and I'm too soft and caring and still think about his feelings and needs. We talked and I gave him one last chance - I have to reiterate I am confident that he has no interest in children and he is well aware of the mistake he made in not leaving that group immediately. I know he can't control what people post but I have a very strong opinion on that subject and to me he just idly stood by and just saw this and ignored it.
But part of me doesn't want to give him another chance. Part of me wants it done. Part of me wants to stop the hurting and pain and just be free of it all. I'm so conflicted and I just don't feel strong enough to do anything about it. Sorry for the long post - do I leave or do I stay and try one more time?

Hi everyone - just thought this might be an interesting topic for conversation. I was wondering about what wargaming pitfalls there are and how the can perhaps be avoided. Perhaps imagine you are speaking to yourself as you are first getting into the hobby - what advice would you give?
For me I think the biggest pitfalls I have encountered so far have been
1.) Spending more time talking about games and trying to organise games than actually playing them
- The solution to this for me has been to steer away from groups and WhatsApp chats where the chat to game ratio is out of kilter and to take a project-management approach by setting/suggesting clear milestones for when to get things down on a table i.e having a date in the diary for a game can focus minds.
2.) Flitting between different rule-sets.
- I think this can be a double edged sword. One thing that attracted me to the non-40k scene was the sheer diversity of what was on offer. There are however, so many rulesets that it's easy to find yourself trying many. This is good as it lets you sample a range and perhaps find one that fits, but I find flitting around can result in an evening of rulebook flipping as you are unfamiliar with the rules as well as a feeling that you're unable to fully explore the depth of some rule sets. Balance seems to be the key here and I've tried to pick out a handful to try over the next 12 months.
3.) Not keeping it simple
- I think there can be a tendency to want to get lots of toys on the table. This can be great, but with complex rule-sets things can get messy quickly. I've learnt that especially with a new rule-set, just keep things as simple as possible for those first few games.
4.) Self-criticism
- I play in a group which includes experienced modellers and painters. They're a great bunch who are always positive and helpful, but sometimes I can't help but compare my efforts to theirs. I've learnt to try to avoid this and instead focus on my own journey and how I've improved.

Hello everyone! I want to start sculpting with polymer clay and I'm a total newby. I have done a ton of research about all different kinds of clay and brands of polymer clay. I came to the conclusion that Fimo professional was the best, since I plan on making very detailed pieces (small figurines with a lot of small details or figurines on the bigger side also with small details). However, Fimo professional is pretty expensive for the amount of clay you get.. and is very difficult to "warm up". I'm planning on making a permanent armature in the inside, so I'll be saving a lot of clay and money.
So, my question is, would you recommend this clay to someone who is new to clay? And if not, what brand would you recommend for these specific things I want to make?
Thank you <3

• This thread is replacing the newbie corner and will hopefully be more visible than it. Feel free to ask any questions regarding piracy on Linux specifically.
• Also make sure to check out the wiki as it explains a lot of basic topics.
• Also since this post is replacing the repack release post make sure to check it out.
• In the future, older weekly question threads can be found here.

Celebrating something great?
Scale Victory, Non-Scale Victory, Progress, Milestones -- this is the place! Big or small, please post here and help us focus all of today's awesomeness into an inspiring and informative mega-dose of greatness!

• Did you get to change your flair?
• Did you log for an entire week?
• Finally hitting those water goals?
• Fit into your old pair of jeans?
• Have a fitness feat?
• Find a way to make automod listen to you?

Post it here!
Due to space limitations, this may be a sticky only occasionally. Please find it using the sidebar if needed.
Don't forget to comment and interact with other posters here, let's keep the good vibes going!
Daily Threads

• US Accountability Challenge: Stay accountable with friends from North America.
• EU Accountability Challenge: Stay accountable with friends from the EU.
• Daily Q&A Thread: Post your questions, receive answers.
• SV/NSV Feats of the Day: Share your scale victories and non-scale victories.

Weekly Threads

• Day 1 Monday: Introduce yourself and share your goals and strategies.
• Tantrum Tuesday: Share your complaints, vents and gripes.
• Weigh-In Wednesday: Share your weigh-in progress and graphs.
• Track with Me Thursday: Make new friends and find accountability buddies.
• Foodie Friday: Share your favorite recipes and meal pics.
• Century Club: For those who have lost or would like to lose 100lb+.

Hello everyone. I've been thinking about learning how to play bass for a while but I was never serious about it, just an intrusive thought. Earlier this week I took the idea more seriously and started to look for models and prices and the typical brand names were mentioned everywhere: Ibanez and Squier.
I've got my eye on a Squier Affinity and a Ibanez SRMD200D. Both seem pretty fine to start with, even though the Ibanez is a passive medium scale and idk if it's a good idea to get it as a first bass and how the sound will change.
The thing is, I went to a guitar store a couple of days ago cause I like to see the instruments in person and they showed me a Bacchus Universe series. One of the dudes played it a bit for me and the sound was great. It was this one: https://www.fanaticguitars.com/en/producto/bacchus-universe-series-jazz-bass-fresno-white/
The Bacchus is a bit more expensive than the other two but I don't have a problem with spending the money if it's worth it. I tried to look for information about them but not a lot is said. It's also kinda sus for me that the original price was way higher than the one listed now. I also wonder if it will be easy to resell, which is kind of important if I ever want to pick up a new one.
​
I just want to avoid having to deal with some issues with the instrument so I can have fun playing and focus on that. I'm dwelling more between the Squier and the Bacchus, but which one do you think I should go with? If you have any info on the Bacchus it would help a lot.
Thank you in advance ^^

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

​
​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

​
​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

BitPanda is a really easy to use cryptocurrency exchange based in Europe. They also have a fantastic referral programme for new users.
BitPanda offers new users €15 in Bonuses when they buying €25 of Bitcoin and complete a short quiz questions.
The free €15 is split into two bonuses.

• First bonus of €10 for signing up and buying €25 of Bitcoin.
• Second bonus of €5 for completing an quick online quiz

BitPanda have been around for a while and lots of FreeBitcoiners have received bonuses from them. If you have not signed up yet, now is a great time to do so.
Links:
Here are the links for the offer:
My Referral Link €10 bonus 🎁
Non-referral link No bonus
Quiz link €5 bonus 🎁
Countries people can sign up from
This is how it works:
Here are the steps to follow to get your free €15 bonus.

1. Click on My Referral Link
2. Signs up
3. Make a deposit of €25
4. Buy €25 of Bitcoin
5. You will receive €10 as a bonus
6. Complete this short quiz for the rest of your €5 bonus
7. You can withdraw your deposit and the €15 EUR bonuses straight away but it’ll take 2-3 days to go to your bank account.

If you have any questions just let me know 🐼 🐼 🐼

☀️Hello OptimistFam! ☀️
A positive self affirmation is a positive statement that begins with a capital i. Affirmations by definition from the web are “statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes.”
I started using PSAs five years ago toward the end of grad school, which was a very stressful time for me. I have found a lot of success with using certain ones over and over, and I wish I would have practiced using these starting in middle school. I was a very shy kid, and I could have benefited from saying things such as, “I am very social” or “I am confident, and I will make many friends.” Hopefully, this thread can increase our use of PSAs.
The main purposes of this thread is:
-to help remind OFam members about PSAs. Just by reading the post, your brain will be reminded to say something positive about yourself
-to give examples to our OFam members who are in need of new ones or new ideas of some
-to encourage our community to increase positive thoughts about themselves because you all have so much worth. Never forget: You Are Enough😊even when you may not think it yourself
Sunday evenings can be tough considering the busy week is coming, but the start of your week can be improved with some practice of self affirming techniques
Please comment some of your PSAs☺️
(No more than three on one thread)
Thank you & have an amazing week OFam!

Please use this thread to ask any lawn care questions that you may have. There are no stupid questions. This includes weed, fungus, insect, and grass identification. For help on asking a question, please refer to the "How to Get the Most out of Your Post" section at the top of the sidebar.
Check out the sidebar if you're interested in more information on plant hardiness zones, identifying problems, weed control, fertilizer, establishing grass, and organic methods. Also, you may contact your local Cooperative Extension Service for local info.
How to Get the Most out of Your Post:

Include a photo of the problem. You can upload to imgur.com for free and it's easy to do. One photo should contain enough information for people to understand the immediate area around the problem (dense shade, extremely sloped, etc.). Other photos should include close-ups of the grass or weed in question: such as this, this, or this. The more photos or context to the situation will help us identify the problem and propose some solutions.

Useful Links:

Guides & Calculators: Measure Your Lawn • Make a Property Map • Herbicide Application Calculators • Fertilizing Lawns • Grow From Seed • Grow From Sod • Organic Lawn Care • Other Lawn Calculators
Lawn Pest Control: Weeds & What To Use • Common Weeds • What's Wrong Here? • How To Spray Weeds • MSU Weed ID Tool • Is This a Weed? • Herbicide Types • ID Turf Diseases • Fungi & Control Options • Insects & Control Options
Fertilizing: Fertilizing Lawns • How To Spread Granular Fertilizer • Natural Lawn Care • Fertilizer Calculator
US Cooperative Extension Services: Arkansas - University of Arkansas • California - UC Davis • Florida - University of Florida • Indiana - Purdue University • Nebraska - University of Nebraska-Lincoln • New Hampshire - The University of New Hampshire • New Jersey - Rutgers University • New York - Cornell University • Ohio - The Ohio State University • Oregon - Oregon State University • Texas - Texas A&M • Vermont - The University of Vermont
Canadian Cooperative Extension Services: Ontario - University of Guelph

Recurring Threads:

Daily No Stupid Questions Thread • Mowsday Monday • Treatment Tuesday • Weed ID Wednesday • That Didn't Go Well Thursday • Finally Friday: Weekend Lawn Plans • Soil Saturday • Lawn of the Month • Monthly Mower Megathread • Monthly Professionals Podium • Tri-Annual Thatch Thread • Quarterly Seed & Sod Megathread

Firstly, my questions with the full explanation below:
I am an incredibly patient and understanding person, but for some reason, this bugs me immensely and makes me want to absolutely combust at times. Most likely 100% a me thing, but I wanted to know if other people have had the same issue or also bugged by this. If yes, how do you personally combat it or try to be as informative as possible to not do this? I don’t expect to completely solve it, but would like to lower the amount of people that do this.
Before I continue with the explanation, I should mention I also run multiple servers full time (2 of them running my main pack). My team and I advertise our modpack(s) frequently with our main goal of drawing in players to try the packs and/or to join our servers!
I release a standard version of the pack on CurseForge with an additional server pack file for those who may want to run a server using the pack. Pretty standard stuff. However, there’s something that irritates the deepest, most inner part of my soul.
Out of the few thousand people who have cycled through our Discord to join our servers, it is UNREAL how many people download the server pack thinking it’s required instead of the standard release to join the servers. This excludes people who may be new to modded or something similar, and I kind of see why people do this.
My main irritant about it is people come to us so often for issues and confusion about gameplay which is directly caused by downloading the server pack and running it on the client. The server pack does not include many, if not most important client-sided features that are used through the entire modpack. When I first started pack development, this caused me to waste a lot of time trying to solve issues, only to then find out it could’ve been resolved in just a few minutes… by downloading the normal release. Definitely learned how to quickly spot what the client is running so I don’t have to waste my time like I did in the past. I could list more issues I have with this, but I think I’ve made my point.
I’ve tried to make it as clear and straightforward as possible by disclaiming in multiple areas of our Discord that you do not do this to join the servers. I even altered the main menu of the server pack by removing basically everything except the “quit” button, then added an option for server owners to bypass if for some reason needed, and lastly added a message that says something like “quit and download the standard release if you’re a regular player”. People STILL do not get the memo and somehow miraculously log into our servers anyways, even with the “multiplayer” button removed. Presumably by only relocating the mods folder and not the 6 additional folders for full content.

As title, in trying to find an upbeat isekai with lots of travel and not much combat. Ideally even something where the protagonists see the big heros fighting the big villains in the backround of their life but are themselves just wimpy travelers.

Here's the cool things I wanted to do: I wanted to move creatures in a perpendicular way compared to me towards the web I created. However when I asked in this subreddit if I could do something like that I got the response that I cannot do so because of the restriction "away or towards you".
This to me seems like a big limit because half the cool movements you wanna do you cannot do.
This points to moving yourself and position in such a way that you can pull creatures in your trap but again it is very janky and requires a lot of movement (especially in our games) to do so.
Since I wanna be the crowd controller of the team I need to know if it is worth the shenanigans with web only. At later levels there would be synergy with Slow area of effect. Actually there are also aoe damage spells that would benefit from Telekinetic so that is a plus.
I don't have a use for invisible magic hand becuase we already have an Arcane Trickster that does all his shenanigans with his invisible hand already and I'm not as creative as him.
I wanna try it but I fear of being disappointed.
What are the best tricks to convince me to pick this feat?

So, I like boardgames, and decided to back some on kickstarter because I had a good friend who always played them with me, we had a few mutual friends who would join, and my boyfriend and I were also planning on playing together. Well, two years later (roughly) I don't talk to any of them, but I get those boardgames and so I told my two current friend groups (one old, one new) about it and both were supportive and said they'd play them with me. The old friend group is mostly people from out of state, so I asked my new group if they'd play with me, and they said yeah.
We set everything up and yesterday (6/3) was the day after they got off work. I bought pizza, I cleaned the house, and I got everything I had to do out of the way between yesterday and today before they came over. One of them didn't bother telling me they weren't coming, despite texting me that morning about something else. I learned through the other two. That sucked, but whatever I got two friends that are down to play. New board game is complex! Took a long time to open, set up and figure out what was what. We get through just about 1/10th of the game, took super long because we kept getting distracted with other things and eventually just stop playing. I decide that I'm just gonna clean up and pack up, and they ask if I want help, but it's fine cause I can do it myself so no big deal. I'm not kicking them out, just a bit upset about everything. They leave pretty soon afterwards anyways; it is 2 in the morning.
Now I'm just sitting here, 4 hours out of my night and I'm just sad. I wanted to hang out with my friends and show them this niche-ish thing I like and figure out this new board game. This entire day was super nerve-racking and exciting for me, but now I'm just crying because I know I fucked up losing the people I was originally planning on playing the games with, but I also got a new group that doesn't fucking care. It's just so lonely. I don't always wanna do what my friends wanna do, but if I wanna hang out with people then I gotta because my stuff isn't interesting. I can't talk about my niche education interests with one of my groups because they just stop listening and say "I just hear static" to me, and most of the games I've found fun they've already played a ton of between themselves. The other will listen to that and support me, but I don't wanna play their games all the time and I'm fine just sitting in call with them while playing my own stuff by myself. Both groups are great most of the time, it just sucks that I don't have people for the stuff I'm into.