Smog station near me

Wande Magazine: How does it feel being Kashmir’s greatest living poet? (he has died since then)

Rehman Rahi: To say this myself would not be appropriate. Whatever people may think of me, I respect it. I have only ever attempted something feeble and small. Poetry was God’s gift to me. All my life, I have campaigned for the Kashmiri language. So when people recognise my work, it obviously makes me happy. I ask myself, ‘Is this really true?’ Those who have said this about me are well-known literary figures, so one feels they must be speaking the truth (laughs).
My single-minded effort has been to raise the standard of the Kashmiri language so that it achieves a status on par with the great languages of the world in which literature is written; to bring it to the notice of the world’s great writers so that they know what’s happening with this language.
It is God's blessing that verses and poems came to me that people have appreciated. If people didn’t appreciate my poetry, they wouldn’t have translated it. A lot of my poetry has been translated and it has gotten me recognition. When I meet people at different places who show respect for me and my work, I feel I must have done something good (smiles).

Are you disappointed that Kashmiris don’t sufficiently value their poets? As a poet, what do you desire from your community?

I want readers for Kashmiri poetry. I write poetry and it gets published but then someone should read it. There should be readers of Kashmiri poetry. Only after reading it can someone make an opinion about whether it is good or bad poetry. Or whether the poet is writing in the old traditional way or the modern or whether the poet is representing his people and society in his poetry. This can only be known and understood once someone reads it.
I feel very sad that there are not many readers of the Kashmiri language. It’s terribly sad. Earlier, not many books were published in Kashmiri, till even Mehjoor’s time. In his time, sixteen-page poetry pamphlets used to be published. These were not books or collections of poems. Today, almost every day there is a new collection of poetry and it’s brought out in a very professional manner. However, there are very few readers. Those who purchase books are different. Serious readers are different. Even if you lend someone a book, it’s not expected that they would read it. The one main reason for this is that the new generation of Kashmiris—those in schools, colleges and universities (who are the future readers) don’t have much of an inclination towards the Kashmiri language. They have not been taught and trained in this language. It’s not really their fault. There is no such culture in their homes, or in our schools or in society. Kashmiri language and those who speak it are looked down upon. People feel proud to speak in Urdu and other languages even if they don't speak those well. I feel really sad. Our recognition and the recognition of the Kashmiri language should come from young people.
If there are no readers for Kashmiri poetry, what is the fun of writing poetry?
There is a small minority of people, even some youngsters who show a lot of interest in Kashmiri poetry, but their number is very small. Looking at them one gets happy. There is hope that maybe in future the number of these people would increase.
A modest movement for the Kashmiri language is underway for which some organizations like Adbi Markaz Kamraz are specially working. Many others are working towards this end. If they succeed in their efforts, more people might get interested in the Kashmiri language.

Why don't major and influential poets like you participate in Kashmir’s intellectual and political discourse?

Kashmir has no real tradition of what you call political poetry. There are bits and pieces of political poetry in Sheikh ul Alam’s work which speak about the times he lived in. Majorly, it is Sufi poetry which has dominated the Kashmiri literary landscape. Sufi poetry is metaphysical and doesn’t have much to do with the affairs of this world. This is one main reason why poets haven’t been part of the political discourse.
However, it is not entirely true that we [poets] don’t participate at all. Recently, I participated in a political rally. It’s not necessary to mention where. A leader at the rally complained that Kashmiri poets aren't part of the political discourse. In response, I read a nazm there. They were surprised to hear the nazm in which I had talked about the Kashmiri struggle at length. The nazm is called Khak e Karbala.
Since 1947 onwards, many poets in Kashmir have written about the contemporary times they were living in and about their political and social realities. A lot has been written. I have also written at length. Now when people don’t read, what can I do about it? It then seems we haven’t written anything.
Poets don’t participate in protest demonstrations and rallies. But whenever we felt it was necessary to participate, we participated without hesitation, especially for the [promotion] Kashmiri language for which we have held demonstrations for weeks altogether in Pratap Park [Lal Chowk, Srinagar]. Men and women participated in that demonstration and we sat there for a week. The result [of that demonstration] was that the Kashmiri language was introduced in primary classes at schools.
We also have to look at the peculiarities of different eras in Kashmir. Mehjoor and Azad were political poets and Dina Nath Nadim was in and out a political poet. Mehjoor and Azad are among the first poets who represented Kashmir’s political reality in their poems. Mehjoor showed the Kashmiri people their history. He showed that we [Kashmiris] are not a small people and that we possess a rich history in our cultural and political past. He offered Kashmiris their history and invoked us to rise. After 1947, there was a concerted effort to elevate the Kashmiri language through the inclusion of other genres of literature, which weren't part of the Kashmiri language before such as short stories, essays, novels and literary criticism.
In contemporary times, we have Zareef Ahmad Zareef whose entire poetry is political and many others like Amin Kamil have written at length about the politics of this place, especially after 1947 which we now call resistance poetry.
I have also tried my hand at resistance poetry. But as I said, there is only one handicap, which is that there are very few readers available. If there are readers of Kashmiri, this language will survive. If there are no readers, it will die. It is said, that every day in the world there are languages which die as there are no speakers. If the same happens with Kashmir, then what is Rehman Rahi, Dina Nath Nadim or Mehjoor?
We have also witnessed a massive change in social and political times. In the past, if you would have asked Sheikh ul Alam or Shams Faqir to write or comment on political times, they wouldn’t have been able to do it. There was no such culture in those times. They used to speak or write about an otherworldly metaphysical world.
The present times are different. The present times are very political in nature. We live in a very political world.

Are you worried about the future of the Kashmiri language and poetry?

I am worried but not sad because new writers are being born in Kashmir. We have a handful of serious readers who read Kashmiri literature and then comment and write about it. Many books have appeared critiquing and appreciating the work of poets like me. These bunch of people have realized that writing in Kashmiri is a serious affair and should be taken seriously unlike our children in schools and colleges who pay no attention and consider Kashmiri literature not worthy of their interest and attention.
If only Kashmiri people would realize how rich our language is, we will work for it day and night. The Kashmiri language has great potential. I have never been disappointed by the Kashmiri language. It’s not restrictive language. At times while writing poetry, there would be challenges such as there was no word available in Persian, Sanskrit, Urdu or even Kashmiri but such is the nature of the Kashmir language that I could make new words, which were later accepted and appreciated.
If the Kashmiri nation has to truly survive, it will only survive through the Kashmiri language. Otherwise Kashmiri nation will be a soulless nation.
Is there anyone among the younger crop of Kashmiri poets who you think holds promise?
There are many. They aren’t young poets, but they are my younger contemporaries. Rafiq Raaz is an excellent poet. There are limitations with his oeuvre, of course, but he is a genuine poet who will contribute a great deal to Kashmiri literature. There are limitations to his poetry because he gets too concerned about the technicalities and restricts himself.
I have written a verse about Rafiq Raaz in one of my books.
Rafiq Raaz chu muchraan tilismii khanan barr Sarood khan chiss sormi nazar ti khamosh hi
There is Shafi Shauq, who has been a professor at the University of Kashmir. Shad Ramzan is another fine poet. Shahnaz Rashid is another promising poet.
Shahnaz Rashid writes both ghazals and nazms. He didn’t write nazms but I encouraged him and he wrote some brilliant nazms. Ghulam Rasool Josh from Charar-e-Sharief is another excellent poet.
There are excellent poetesses as well such as Ruksana Jabeen and Naseem Shafaie. While Jabeen writes in both Kashmiri and Urdu, Shafaie writes in Kashmiri alone. Shafaie has received an award from the Sahitya Academy.
Kashmiris have produced great poetry because they have faced oppression. Sufi poetry, in fact, was a response to the deplorable conditions of our people. Today, there are only a few genuine Sufi poets in Kashmir.

How do you see the rise of BJP? What does it portend for Kashmir?

There is always a reason to worry when men of narrow thought come to power. They might think they are right in themselves, but they are not. Take Modi for instance. He is a Hindutva man and he might think Hindutva is a great philosophy. To an extent, it is fine if he or other Indians feel Hindutva gives them some historical identity and they have some sort of past to live up to. It becomes problematic when they adopt a narrow vision of politics. If we don’t accept the narrow politics of some Muslim leaders who believe that Muslims are the only great community, how can I accept Hindutva?
Another problem with the current times is the spectre of party politics and the notion that one's party should win by hook or crook. In my younger days, the youth used to look up to political parties as philosophical bastions. Youth were attracted to them mainly because the parties had some philosophical ideas to offer. I, for one, was attracted to the communist ideology and became a member of the Communist Party in Kashmir. I really thought they had something new to offer and some new ideas. Later on, I was disillusioned and today I can’t call myself a follower of Marx. However, back then, it did seem that Marx was saying something that no one before had articulated.
With the coming to power of these people, if the Kashmiri identity is attacked, I will oppose it. It should be opposed by everybody. The Kashmiri identity has some peculiar characteristics which should be protected.
We often hear of the killings in Kashmir. We hear about someone being shot on the roadside or someone being shot while buying essentials. We also hear of men entering homes and killing people. I just remembered a verse. There is a word in this couplet, “mogjaar”, which means freedom.
Parwardigar’e saane ti mogjaar mekh karam Kath poshe waare baaghe barikh boale badle bamm
Wech aasi daare lyie, ti pellet gun aechen pharrem Shah taan kruuth pyom pepper krath seene dam
Almighty, show mercy, guide us to the path of freedom Every word of this flower garden they barter with a bomb
If a window opens the breadth of an eyelid, a pellet gun robs the eye of light Pepper guns make the air bitter, metonymy, a lung pogrom
This was written last year on September 28 [2016]. I saw a picture of a young girl who had been blinded and it moved me and made me cry. There is tremendous oppression here and we must raise our voices against it. As a poet, this is my protest against it. I can’t do anything else.

Did you ever think of returning your awards when artists across India were doing so to protest curbs on artistic and intellectual freedom? If not, why?

Had I been given any awards by the government, I would have returned them. The awards I have received are from literary organisations like Sahitya Academy, Jnanpith or Kabeer Samaan. These are not awards from politicians. The awards I have received were in recognition of the Kashmiri language. Why should I return them?
When I won the Jnanpith award, journalists asked me how I felt. I told them that with this award, the Kashmiri language has moved forward. Whether I, as a poet, moved forward or not, the Kashmiri language definitely has. This [Jnanpith award] was a recognition of the Kashmiri language. Why should I reject it? How can I reject it?

Kashmir witnessed a bloody summer in 2016 and nearly a hundred people were killed and hundreds lost eyesight. But there was no word from Kashmir’s greatest living poet. What was the reason for your silence?

It is totally wrong to say that I have been silent. I have written many poems in protest, not just last year but also in the turbulent nineties. I have written many poems about the oppression in Kashmir and the resistance as well. Not just me, but many poets have been actively writing.
I will recite a poem I wrote in 1990 and you tell me whether the accusations against me hold any truth. I once recited this poem at a political rally. I told the gathering they weren’t truly aware of what was happening. I told them that they might be in politics but they didn’t know much. The poem is titled Khak-e-Karbala, or the dust of Karbala, which is used by the faithful to heal the wounds inflicted as part of marsiya during Muharram. I sent the poem to many prominent newspapers at that time but no one published it.
In my recent collection Kadla Thatis Peth (On The Pier of the Bridge), there are a few poems that expressly talk about the present political situation. It’s not my fault that people don’t read. What can I do about it?
I will now recite some lines from Khak-e-Karbala:
Agar ni saanen chokken zabaan kanh Magar yi rath gassi ni raaiygan zanh
Phezaar dyitan beshoar keatil Yi daage laanath yi yas ni challnai
Yi rath mushuk saar boambran hyund Yi rath haya mand yemburzal’an hyund
Yi rath talatum jawaan johdun Yi rath tafazul qayaam ohad’uk
Yi rath ba faize Hussain khoda joo Yi rath ba fazle khoda sorakh ruu
Yi rath chu baarav divan buuziv Shaheed qoamuk bayaan boeziv
Setha setha kaal annigaetis manz preyn gulami Lalluv bye sakh zuv zante zahar heattis manz
Setha setha kaal chaangi dod rath Na aayi kanh ath na draayi kanh wath
Zamaan woth nindri aes wathav na Cztaan chi zanjeer aes chattav na
Bedaar ehsaas prazznatte gov Choppyear Azadi hyund talab pyov
Dua mongukh aes ti gash sarrhev Chu kya lyeakith laani, pane parhev
Shurren muqabal sippah treavikh Machine gun kotran chalevikh
Su foaj koachan ti angnan manz Mahali jang zan ti bazran manz
Jawaan thod woth ti gueel siinas Buzargh broah poak ti prathh jabeenas
Aennis dopukh woth kuthen muchar barr Kaellis dopukh raam naam sathe parr
Saleem maerikh Salaam moarukh Habib moarukh Hishaam moarukh
Hu beang balai baam moarukh Yi muktidu ko imam moarukh
Yi shahar moaruk yi gaam moarukh Kasheere hund subah sham moarukh
Agar ni sannen chokken zabaan kanh Magar yi rath gassi ni raiy ganh zanh
Yi rath amanat chu Karbala huk Yi rath tas ni tehreer inqilab’uk
Zamaan hargah pricchev haqeeqat Dapyus reashe maale ker bagawat
I have recited this poem at many events in the presence of several leaders. There are five-six collections of my poetry that have poems about the political situation, and about my fundamental concern, which is of a man in this universe.

Do you think poets should remain distanced from the political life of the place they belong to or live in?

One cannot stay aloof at all. Politics is like air and it reaches everywhere. In Kashmir, if a man goes to a baker’s shop and finds that the size of the bread is not what he expected, politics over it will start. They will say "Yi ha kor hindustaanan (This is India’s handiwork)"(laughs). What happens in Kashmir on a day-to-day basis can make an artist politically conscious. But the artist or the poet doesn’t have to become a politician. He has to remain a poet. What does being a poet mean? It shouldn’t be only translating experience into verse but presenting it in such a way so that the reader sees himself/herself through that experience.
Poets can’t remain distanced from the politics of their place but they shouldn’t become victims of politics either. It’s one thing to do poetry and another to do sloganeering. Mehjoor and Azad did some bit of sloganeering, but they wrote wonderful poetry. Mehjoor’s most popular poem Wala Ha Bagwano is more of a slogan than poetry. Azad was an avowed Marxist. He used to agitate for farmers’ rights. They were great poets, and yet political.

What do you think is the role of a writer or intellectual in a place like Kashmir?

The primary role of a writer or poet is to agitate and protest through his craft alone. His role is to move the reader and to make him feel the agony. The poet doesn’t report. That is the journalist’s job. The journalist explains that this person was killed in these circumstances. The poet’s job is to depict the killing as if it happened in front of the reader, and as if the reader himself was being killed. The living reality of a poem should move the soul of the reader.
Craft and imagination is the key for writers and poets. Their craft should make the written word a living reality. The role of the poet is the creation and that is why it’s called takhleeq (creation) because what the poet sees and feels he translates (creates) onto the page.

https://wandemag.com/poets-poltics-and-rehman-rahi/

So I read this post, and it didn't help. The paths were good, the route lead to the city (This was a brand new save, so nothing had updated), it was definitely a cargo station on each end, and certainly the right type of cargo. I know the supply side was good, because it was supplying a different line, and I had the line picking up at the same terminal. Same trucks, same type of station, definitely asking for the goods I was trying to deliver: I checked and rechecked and checked again. Absolutely nothing would get the trucks to load.
But then... After a while (quite a while, as this was a longer route) they finally started loading. It occurred to me: I don't think trucks will start picking anything up until at least one truck (Maybe each on the line? I wasn't watching closely) has completed the loop.
That seems incredibly silly to me, but it's the only explanation I have for what I witnessed. Is that the case, and if so, why doesn't anyone ever talk about it? And, bigger question, why is it that way? Finally, if that's just the way it is, is there any way to get trucks to pick up their goods before they go to their destination?

Ofc I’m within a smaller budget and I wanted something light and ultrabook-like. The store near me has a swift 3x with core i5 11th gen and 16 gb ram. I know the laptop also comes with the i7 processor but that one isn’t available in the stores.
I don’t plan on gaming but i still will use the computer extensively for long hours daily. Will the swift 3x serve me well in the long run? Should I go out of my way and look for the swift 3x with the i7 processor instead?

Been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. We don't live together yet. She's always been the type to respond to texts extremely quickly. I'm talking within the minute, sometimes even in 5 seconds or less. Apparently she got used to that because of her last wfh job that would write her up if she didn't reply immediately, but she's kept the habit and she likes to be available to people, since she's usually bored and doesn't mind the distraction. Generally I can always expect a near-instant reply unless she's asleep, showering, or doing some focused activity (e.g. sports, gaming) but will still get back quickly since she still checks her phone frequently, like after every attempt at rock climbing or after she dies in Valorant waiting for the round to end/start.
Me, I keep my phone on silent or vibrate most of the time because I don't like the sounds, especially while working. I do text her now and then when I have a free moment, and also like to text her while I'm watching Netflix or scrolling on social media in the evenings.
She doesn't like this. She gets irritated if she goes 1hr+ without a reply unless there's some context for it (e.g. she tends not to text me while I'm working) and a huge pet peeve of hers is when I text her, she replies instantly, and I don't text back. Sometimes I do just like to take my phone and send her a message in the middle of the day while on break. I ask her how she's doing, what she's up to, then switch back to another app or lock my phone. She gets upset when I don't see her reply until the next time I check my phone. In the evenings when I'm more free she gets annoyed that I take between 3-10 minutes to respond while we're having a conversation (this happens while I'm watching Netflix and forget to reply to her reply)
Once in a while she gets upset at this, and I can tell when she's angry. Her texts are cold and she starts taking longer to respond. We've fought many, many times about this and it always ends with her promising to be more understanding when I can't respond right away.
But a few weeks ago, she's told me she's tired of complaining about this over and over again, and she's tired of feeling like she's obliged to reply instantly because she's afraid I'll think she's upset, and so she said she would try putting me on silent (all her other notifications are on) . She said she wanted to try a solution for her end since there's nothing that would change outside of her own behavior.
She still gets back to me within 20-30 minutes since she does check her phone pretty often still, but I miss being able to reach her easily. We used to talk a lot in the evenings and throughout the day if I had time, but she frequently misses my messages now and doesn't wait for me to get back to her as often as she did. It upsets me too that she's not as patient with me as anyone else. She gives other people the benefit of the doubt when they take long to get back to her, but with me she gets irritated quickly. Is there any compromise that can help this situation?
tl;dr: girlfriend is angry about my slow replies and it's strained our relationship

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So ill try keep this as short as possible (its a long story). I decided to separate from my wife at the beginning of the year. I am in the armed forces in the UK and we were based about 500miles from our home. Her first initial reaction was that she wanted to quit her job, take our 2 small children and move in with her parents (who live near our home far away) I asked her to stay but she wanted to be with her "support network". She also originally wanted to move into our joint home with me to pay the full mortgage and bills indefinitely, regardless of her own income/job status. I managed to convince her to stay for a few months while I tried to get a transfer. I got a transfer approved (at some detriment to my career) and she quit her job and moved in with her folks a month before I transferred. Solicitors letters started getting sent to get the ball rolling on our custody, assets etc. It was agreed originally verbally that I would have the children 3 nights a week when I transferred, the closest thing to 50/50 I can manage on a shift pattern. Annual leave would likely bring this avg up anyways.
2 weeks after she moved she started complaining about income and wanting child maintenance. I did a child maint calculator online and offered her the full amount based on 3nights a week. She was unsatisfied by this and asked me to add my half of the rental income we get for renting out our house. I called the child maint service and they said its only profit (if any) that gets added to this. I added the profit (even though its not declared) and the amount went up by £5 per month. I paid her and she was still unsatisfied. All of a sudden she decides that my military accommodation (which consists of an en suite room bigger than a hotel room with 2 double beds, kitchen area and separate bathroom) is unsuitable for the children to stay in and that the 3 nights a week will not be granted. Instead I am to have the children every second weekend with 2 "non-residential periods" during the week with no overnight stays during the week during school term since "this will be disruptive to their routine and therefore their education" and that "child maintenance is to be reassessed based on this". I went to the child maint service myself and said that I believe that this was a power move to get more money from me by using the kids. They said that the default is to pay the cost of 1 overnight stay per week if there is a dispute. turns out she contacted them and asked for them to charge me to the avg of 0 overnight stays per night! Until a court order or separation agreement is in place, 1 night per week is the rate I have to pay by order of the Child Maint Service.
I just want to see my kids as much as possible, my lawyer has asked her to provide assurance that I will have the kids 3 nights a week if I stay somewhere else but so far 2 letters have been ignored by her and her solicitor with only offers on the financial side of the separation (splitting on my pension, savings and buying out of the house). I would have taken her to court by now but my solicitor suggested doing some negotiations through letters first since she is completely unwilling to negotiate or discuss the matter in person or over text. Phrases have been thrown around by her like "i am their legal guardian" "it's not my fault" "you chose this" and "i will not be bullied by you" whenever i question her decision or motives. Now I am on deployment for 4 months since December and her lawyer still sent a letter in December asking me to buy or sell the house. My lawyer replied saying i am on deployment so nothing can be done but a childcare agreement would also have to be in place. 2 months passed and its clear my ex is under pressure from her parents and the rising mortgage for something to change, her lawyer sent another letter saying that I am being obstructive and that it may escalate to a court order to force the sale of the house. So we replied saying I'll buy the house but when I move in I want the children 3 nights a week + holidays....its been 4 weeks and still nothing back. In addition I return home next week and I asked to have the kids for 2 weeks. But this was denied. I was told I could only have them for 1 week despite being gone 4 months over Christmas.
This is more of a rant than an ask for help as I know I should just do the whole court thing but has anyone got any other suggestions/advice/warnings?

I am in need of some advice please. My son just turned three and ever since he was a young baby he has had these random ‘episodes’ where he wakes up (usually around the same time each night) and goes absolutely wild. He sleeps in his own bed and will wake up screaming/ crying hysterically, stretching his whole body as if he’s possessed, and if I go to him to try to console him, he goes mental: screaming go away, go away or kicking/ throwing items at me. So hence I leave to go away and he goes berserk, screaming i want mommy. He'll sometimes get up from bed and ask for snacks or juice, so you get the requested items, and he screams no, i don't want it. This will go on for nearly 45 minutes and I'll never be able to satisfy him.
He pushes you, hits you, throws stuff and bangs on the door! This can go on for an hour. If I try ignoring the bad behaviour but letting him know i am there, he just continues to scream at the top of his longs.
At the beginning of these ‘episodes’ it seems as though his not even awake. We have tried everything in the book, he used to sleep peacefully and only had these episodes every now and again.
When he stays at other peoples houses he never does it. My question is, could these be diet problems, night terrors,.. if so what can we do to return to a peaceful nights rest?
Please can someone offer any advice, I am dreading each night.

Visitors should only be welcomed to assist celebrate the impending arrival, not for the gift they bring, even though a gift is expected from a Gift Shop Near Me if they visit. Unattended visitors can give gifts from Cardinal & The Dog if they choose to.

Obviously a lot of it is subjective preference but where am I supposed to be in the battle?
Like I said, I really feel lost. My weakest mode with it is splatzones though.
Most maps I'm kind of confused where I should be at. For example at mako mart I never feel safe or like I'm in a good position. I stand on the raised platform near base and focus on ink and enemy's that are within range but it just feels like I'm not positioned good as any enemy I can hit can hit me half the time because the way the level is

To make this short, I need advice when it comes to parents asking for money.
(Some background we are extremely poor, immigrant family in U.S. My father and mother aren't very tech savy nor do they have savings. My mother works the same job for years, and my father often spends large amount of money to send to Nigeria, or full on travel there. He says its for his business but we haven't seen the rewards from it in years. My mom also has to fund these trips. They did not set themselves up the best.)
Before I had any sort of steady income my father would try to convince me to take out risky loans. Some sounded illegal and would jepordize my scholarships for college but of course it was just an exchange of words and a hard, "no." Another time when I had "refunds" from college, (the refunds were more like excess loan amounts I took out.) l I gave him 700 dollars for a funeral in Africa. He still hasn't fully paid me back. There was one time my father wanted, no joke, 20,000 dollars from me in the form of a private loan I would take out in my name. Just for his business in africa. He sat me down, and I had to freeze my accounts just in case something crazy happened. (I already have student debt btw) Now ever since I have gotten my first job, they have been asking me for money. It was an emergency since the car broke down. However, I have only had 3 pay checks so far and within a span of a few days I have lost 455 dollars because they needed help paying bills. I gave my father 250 dollars. He spend some on food then the next day asks me for gas money? Today I gave my mother 240 dollars so we can have lights on. I make 15 bucks an hour, working 8 to 4pm.
I was excited to finally have a job. I work overtime everyday so I can pay of my loan debt, pay my college tuition instead of taking out loans, budget for a car because my city has damn near no public transportation, go to driving school, etc. I felt like finally I was starting life, and being independent. However, this upset me because I felt like I always paid for their financial faults. I feel used sometimes. My dad also lies about how much money he owes me, always decreasing the number even though I don't nag him about it. My brother never paid for anything even if he broke something. I want to help my family but I spent so much within two days. There's a lot of red flags and im just anxious.
What should I do?
Edit: Also not completely broke from it. I don't pay rent or ultilties either. So should I overreact if they at the end of the day, they only needed help and haven't done anything too sketchy?

My partner of over two years just broke up with me. Backstory, she is an alcoholic on her 29th day of sobriety. She has been struggling with insomnia etc… since she has stopped drinking. She came home with an ‘alcohol removed’ wine because she said she was craving the taste. I have no worries with her having it at all. But she then came and told me “omg it has alcohol in it”. I said oh maybe just check with one of your AA friends to make sure you will still be able to get your 30 day chip as I wasn’t sure if technically it would mean she has consumed alcohol (even a tiny amount?). She blew up and got really frustrated and has since been saying it’s ridiculous and it’s nothing to do with me etc… I really was just trying to support her and wanted her to just check so she wouldn’t be devastated if she hit 30 days and couldn’t get her chip?
Her main struggle with alcohol was when she would come home from work she would always want alcohol. And she isn’t able to control it so she doesn’t end up drunk. So she had come home from her shift at 10:30pm and wanted to drink then. I said “ohI don’t think that is a good idea because that was your old pattern of drinking and i don’t think it’s a good idea to feed that habit”…
We slept separately (I told her to sleep on the couch because I needed space) and I saw in the morning she had drank nearly the whole bottle and I can’t help but feel really sad and disheartened. It has been a long journey for us with a lot of trauma and heartache from her drinking habits.
I just so badly wanted her to get her 30 day chip as we have been so excited for it and I wanted to have a big celebration for her…
Am I being ridiculous or selfish?

PART 1 OF 2 This happened 8 years ago now when I (M16) was in highschool. Each concussion happened at on a seperate occasion.
The first happened when me and a few friends decided to wrestle at a community center where I used to live (Ontario, Canada). We decided on a tournament style where the winner will get a large pizza that all the losers pay for. The fights were a simple one on one, win by tap or an obvious overpowerment. We all circled the two main fighters and watched them wrestle until it was our turn. I had my eye on my first matchup, Z (M15), who was easily the skinniest and therefore the easiest to wrestle. Once it was our turn to fight, Z backed out, leaving me without a matchup. My round got skipped and it was agreed upon by the rest of the fighters that if I wanted to fight then I could skip to the next round.
Concussion #1 Fast forward to my next opponent, someone who thought was on my level due to a small difference in our age (Me 16 & my opponent, A being 17). I had the height on him by a bit but he easily weighed 10 or 15 pounds more than me. I knew that I had to end the fight fast as he might be stronger than me. The first thing I did was put him in The ol' reliable, a headlock. I positioned myself to one angle so that I could use all my power to thrust to the other side and throw us both on the ground. This amazing move should put him in a daze of confusion and that is when I should put him in some sort of submission hold until he taps out and I become the victor. I had the entire scenario in my head pictured in what looked like a That's So Raven glimpse into the future. Now time to execute this bodacious maneuver. I jolted from one side to the other and tried to throw him to the ground but he eliminated any thoughts of filling my stomach with any form of cheesy Italian cuisine with one simple maneuver: he took a step backwards. This move let him slip out of the headlock and left me to think about everything that led to this point while I fell in what felt like slow motion. I did not have any time to prepare for the fall other than tilting my head down so that I don't break my nose. I got the top of my forehead on the carpeted but still extremely hard ground. It hurt but I didn't feel anything weird until I got up and felt like vomitting. My vision had motion blur and it felt like I was looking through a tunnel because I lost my peripheral vision. I started reaching my arms out to grab anyone near me because the motion blur was affecting my depth perception. I was helped to sit out in a corner as I considered my life choices that led me here and how I took my regular vision for granted. We hid this from any adults that could possible get us in trouble but we did ask for help from some "cool" early 20s staff who we usually hung out with. They told me that I cannot sleep in a situation like this even though I was suddenly getting sleepy and they told me the possibility of more harm if I actually slept. I stayed awake due to fear of brain damage and "toughed it out" like my friends suggested I do.
Concussion #2 Now fast forward 6 months later. I am in grade 11 playing basketball with my friends when happen to trip on a crack in the cement floor that felt a lot bigger than it looked. I tried to brace my fall with my arms, but the pushups I always skipped came back to haunt me. I couldn't catch myself and I don't know whether it's the speed at which I fell or the fact that I couldn't even hold myself in a pushup form if my life depended on it. This led to me faceplanting the cement and my glasses which I had on the entire time smashing on impact (this miraculously did not cause me any harm in any way) and my face cutting open at the temple. Blood poured out like honey out of a bottle and my friends got me tissue paper to cover the bleeding. I was to distracted by the amount of bleeding to realize that I had a concussion. This time it was a similar feeling to the first time. I was ready. I remained calm, tried to stop the bleeding, and waited patiently for the ambulance to come. The EMTs confirmed that I showed symptoms of a concussion and I rode with them to the hospital. The doctor later confirmed that the cut on my head was on a weird angle and the stitching it might cuz issues once it heals so the bleeding was stopped and a bandage was placed over the gooey stuff they used to cover the wound.
Concussion #3 Fast forward to the next semester. It is Finals Week of my grade 11 year and we just finished one of our exams. We decided that since we have the rest of the school day off to prepare for our next exam, we have some time to play basketball. We have one "court". It looks similar to the place in the warehouse where they had that basketball episode in the office. This is the same court where I tripped and fell and recieved my concussion #2. {This year we went to the finals in the local high school basketball tournament and lost not because they were better, but because our starting five (including a 6 foot 5 kid that plays rep) got tired due to us playing multiple games back to back. This kid was 1 year younger than me but he fit into our friend group because all of his friends were our age as well.} I was chasing my tall friend who just grabbed the rebound but I got too close to him from behind and ended up tripping on one of his long freaky stick legs. This was unintentional from him as he couldn't have known that I was that close to him as he would've positioned himself differently. I still haven't improved in my workout routine so I still couldn't defend myself from gravity. Face_plant3.exe. My glasses spontaneously combusted upon impact and my face was led to the same fate as my previous encounter against this undefeated foe. I picked myself off the ground and looked down as I saw my poorly rendered reflection in a small pool of blood where I just got up from. I positioned myself to sit against a wall as the adrenaline basically made the pain non-existent as I sat there angry at myself for getting in a situation like this for the second time within a year. I was rushed by teachers and students who helped me stop the bleeding as they called 911. It was then that I started to notice the effects of my concussion. Everything from the tunnelling vision to the nausea. However, there was one issue that worried me. The tunneling vision exceeded my peripherals and slowly covered my full vision with darkness. I looked around at the places where I knew the lights were positioned to see if I noticed anything but I couldn't see them. I remembered to stay calm and asked my teacher who was helping me if the lights were still on. He didn't answer immediately. He then said "What do you mean? Of course they are. What?" Once he confirmed what I suspected, my calm mind reminded me of Daredevil on Netflix in the scene when he lost his sight. I thought the super hearing or super senses might kick in but it was just regular senses minus sight. I prepared for the worst and I just thought about all the things I could no longer enjoy in life. My VR headset. Gaming. TV. Oh god, Anime? Reality started to kick in around 10 min later when I was waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Eventually I started to see some light from one eye and then the next. It started with light, then blurry colors. Then shapes. Then a few hours later my sight was back to normal. Part 2 is about losing my ability to sleep some weeks later because of my head injuries
TL;DR - Got 3 different concussions with one leading to temporary blindness.

Platform(s): Windows XP, 2000.
Genre: Puzzle, point and click
Estimated year of release: 1990sish, I found it at a nerd-fest on a disk sometime around this. Graphics/art style: Many scenes, mostly outdoors, very dark as I remember, decent fidelity if my mind isn't upscaling it, graphics trying to be realistic. The scenes are 3d.
Notable gameplay mechanics: There is a timer "ticking" down your life as you explore an empty town trying to solve the puzzle. If you run out, you die, I think it was some voodoo thing but its been to long to be sure.
Other details: The most vivid frames in my mind is the first one, where there is road through a canyon on both sides, with rocks having fallen in on in. A car is parked in a parking lot near center of the screen, and on the right is a long (mid-center to bottom of screen) square building, like a motel, with a neon sign. The orange water-worn canyon passages are traveled through and prominent in my mind, as well as a burned down building with some part of the puzzle in it.
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Let me know if I can provide more details, I've been searching for a while and can't figure it out. Thanks!

So I donated to my local station but when I’m logged in it still says donate to access videos. I did the lookup thing and it sent me an email saying my membership status is disabled (even though I just donated). I emailed them and no response. I called today and it went to voicemail. This happened last time I tried to activate also. They don’t seem to work like a normal streaming service where you pay and it works right away. Has anyone else had this issue or have a solution? I just want to watch this season 😩

Are there HVAC design reasons to vent a ground floor directly to the basement?
We rent a small single family home with the Ruud furnace in the basement.
There is a heat register that covers a hole in the floor directly to the basement. (The vent is not hooked up to any ducting)
The heat register for is ill-fitting and in an important walkway. I'd like to remove the register and fill in the vent hole with a small supported plank.
Presuming I can fill in the hole safely, are there any ventilation considerations in doing this?
I've tried to understand why the hole is there at all.
It could be the hole is left over from a ducting design. If so, the heat register is only there because someone did not want to do the finishing work after moving this particular heat supply.
Part of why I think this could be the case is the vent in question has a duct passing directly beneath it, taking heat about 5 feet toward the wall.
It passes so close to the open hole that it looks like the heat previously was piped here but was moved to this (perhaps better?) other location out of the walkway.
Then, rather than close the hole and put proper flooring in, the heat register was left there. (I've found many examples of incomplete or very cheaply performed maintenance so this would not surprise me in the slightest.)
This is conjecture, I do not know much about home ventilation design.
My biggest concern is that it might contribute to higher radon levels in the basement. The idea would be that this opening can create negative air pressure on the basement due to the ground floor return grill.
I can't identify reasons not to close this hole, so I'm hopeful for feedback here.
Some additional details:
The main area, which includes the front door entry, living room, dining room and kitchen in an open plan also includes:

• Two forced air heat vents
• This vent / hole to the basement
• A single return grill near front door

I am not aware of a specific fresh air supply to the home, except perhaps backflow from the kitchen stove ventilation.
The basement is not heated unless a vent installed on the furnace itself is opened.

I spend a lot of time putzing around my PlayStation 5: deleting games here, downloading them there, looking for old saves, and trying to talk to friends. It’s made me appreciate every new firmware update, no matter how small or niche the improvements it makes are. And earlier this month, Sony delivered a bunch of…Read more... Link to article

I’ve been running on 5 hours of sleep a day for a while, please ignore any mistakes. I’m exhausted in every sense of the word.
I’ve lived in my current apartment since last April. Since then, my issue with my neighbor has gotten worse and worse.
She has 2 large dogs. From early in the morning til around 9pm, her dogs will stand at her front window and basically go rabid over anyone who walks up to building door. It’s just a matter of time before they break the window since they go ape shit everytime someone walks by with a dog. In the same area, they scratch at the floor and fight extremely loudly all throughout the day. It’s above my living room.
All fucking night, her heavy ass dogs run back and forth right above my bedroom. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been woken up by this shit. I have two kids, both autistic, both have been shaken awake terrified at times because of how loud it can get. AND WE HAVE A WHITE NOISE MACHINE! I’m a really light sleeper and struggle with insomnia at times.
Imagine, it’s 12am, not being able to sleep and when you FINALLY drift off, your neighbors dogs start play fighting for 3 hours and wake your kids up too.
I’m in a 1 bedroom, she’s in a 2 bedroom. I only know this because we briefly chatted when I first moved in. There is no option for us to go into a different room. The noise is everywhere in my apartment.
She doesn’t pick up her dogs shit. There’s a kinda secluded grassy area in front of my kitchen window I’ve tried taking my kids out to on nice days but it’s covered in dog shit!!
There was a time she rang my bell bc she locked herself out. As soon as I opened the front door for her, her dog raced down the stairs to my apartment and busted open the door (I left it cracked while I ran to open the door for her), scaring my kids and nearly attacking my cat.
I don’t do well with confrontation so I’m not gonna knock on her door and tell her this. She’s well aware of how loud her dogs are considering she’s home when most of this is going on. She’s very heavy footed, which is a non issue. I’m not mad at the girl for walking in her own apartment. I just know she’s home bc I can hear her.
Im planning on going to the main office in the morning and explaining this. It been an issue but I kept putting it off, kept telling myself it’ll stop. But some recent non related events in my life have made me very angry and I guess I decided to be a passive aggressive bitch about it. I can’t afford to move and I’m stuck in a lease.
The next time I hear her dog even take a step, I’m putting my vacuum on the ceiling.

Too late we were already invaded... Earth has already been hijacked.
😉We need to be liberated from this slave planet and from our captors... Unfortunately most of the inhabitants of this planet is suffering from cognitive dissonance and Stockholm syndrome.
The Moon is a Draco Reptilian Space Station...
Ask yourself why is there 34 Dragon statues that surround the City of London. Why is there also a Obelisk in every city on the planet. It's the phallus of the Dragon, the actual word is derived from Basilisk. Which means King of the Serpents. In the Vatican they have St. Peters Basilica where there are three Dragon statues and Obelisks.
Why did every ancient culture in antiquity worship the dragon?
The pharaohs of Egypt were the refugees of Atlantis!
ALIEN ARCHONS HAVE BEEN RULING THE SURFACE OF PLANET SINCE BEFORE THE "BUY BULL" The IllumiNazis are but a predecessor of an older and even more cruel order. They've been running this planet since the dawn of time...Dragons aren't some mythological being...The Draco Reptilians came from the Alpha Draconis star system out of the Draco Constellation... They were know as the Atlanteans, Satan, Baphomet, Archons, Draconian's, in the bible they were known as the Seraphim, the Burning Ones/Serpents also the Nephilim or Elohim, the fallen angels, those who were casted out from the heavens. Both words are plural and feminine, meaning there were many gods and were androgynous. The Sumerians knew them as the Anunnaki... Anakim in Hebrew means giant...Because they are very tall 7ft-15ft and have shapeshifting abilities. In the Indian culture they were known as the Naga. Dracula in Latin means Dragon, The Order of the Dracul able to shift physically into other creatures or into the aether via the quantum field.
Earth is a farm we are all cattle and humanity lives in a contrived reality!
Freemasons are the minions of the Draco Reptilian Empire!
The Mayans called them Quezatcoatl, and Kukulcan the Feathered Serpent King and incorporated their images of dragons in their pyramids ... There are dragon statues all over the world, throughout the ages... The coat of arms for the city of London is two Dragons holding a red shield, which in German is Rothschild. There are 33 Dragon statues in the City of London to quell consciousness. The slaying of a Dragon by St. George. The Muslims knew them as Dajjal or Djinn or Genies... After your three wishes your soul is theirs to keep... They were also known to the Buddhist monks as the Brotherhood of Two dragons... The Red Dragons in the east and the Yellow in the west... Same goes for the native American Indians all the Aboriginals knew them as the Brotherhood of the Snake... The Egyptian knew them as Horus, Anubis and Amen Ra.... That's why every religion says amen after every prayer cause they are paying homage to Satan Baphomet/ Draco Reptoids... Santa Claus is actually Satan's Claws both wearing red, both come from the fire, both have minions working feverishly. All religions and holidays are based on satanic doctrines and pagan dogmas. And if you don't believe me than you're being quite draconian about it.
Basilisk in Latin means King of the Serpents, as in St Peters Basilica where there lies two Dragon Statues in the Vatican as well as Obelisks, the phallus of the Dragon that is why there is at least few obelisks in every city on the planet the Freemasons put them there throughout history in order to control consciousness...The Chinese, Japanese, India, Indonesians, Mayans, Aztecs, Incas all worship the Dragon in antiquity... There are Gargoyles adorn every church and cathedral.... The Egregores the Watchers... The biggest trick the D-Evil can play is making humanity believe that he does not exist :/
Hollow Earth True HISTORY , HITLER & NWO ( GOTTA SEE THIS !!! ) Documentary https://youtu.be/lOXjxq3r69Q
There are over 10 thousand pyramids that align with each other on a global grid system with gps accuracy to the millimetre. In the Aegean Sea there are 13 ancient Megalithic sites that represent the 13 Illuminati Families that control the world, that when you connect them dot to dot, over 1000km area makes a perfect Maltese Cross. This is the symbol of the Monarchy, Freemasonry, Vatican, Jesuits, Knights of Malta and Templars, even Hitler's Germany. Megalithic architecture on geomantic energy sites, in conjunction with an occult esoteric satanic Freemasonry religion of Kabbhalism, aka the Lucifer experiment in order to control humanities consciousness and why there is an obelisk in every major city on the planet... The pyramids also create dimensional portals into Agartha/Hollow Earth, hence disappearance of boats, planes in the Bermuda Triangle and Dragon's Triangle...
http://chani.invisionzone.com/uploads/monthly_08_2013/post-248-0-56239100-1376895880.jpg.
Dragons see humanity as a resource for the simple fact that they are not vegetarians! 1 million people disappear in the United States every single year. 8 million children globally disappear annually off the globe.
The Legend Of Atlantis https://youtu.be/pihxOs-pVRA
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lOXjxq3r69Q&t=4s Hollow Earth True HISTORY , HITLER & NWO ( GOTTA SEE THIS !!! ) Documentary - YouTube
Secrets Of The 3rd Reich Secret Nazi Research in Alien Technology https://youtu.be/B0uEvZsQAV8

Posted on the main as well, tell me if that's not okay. I'm coming in from Edinburgh for the day and have a ticket to Chelsea at home. I booked my return flight a couple of months ago when the game was scheduled for a 3pm kickoff. Now I have a ticket to a 5:30 game and a 9:45 Ryanair flight at an airport 35 miles away. I haven't been to a game at the Emirates before so I don't know how chaotic the atmosphere is when leaving, but would I be completely naive in thinking that there's a chance that, assuming a couple of minutes of overtime after each half, I can get from the Emirates to Highbury & Islington Station by 8, get the Victoria Line to Tottenham Hale and grab the Stansted Express and get to the Airport by 9? Also have never flown out of Stansted before - is 45 minutes to get through security and get to my gate completely unthinkable? How impossible is it to get a taxi from anywhere near the stadium? Would that be any more doable or is traffic as horrendous as one would assume?