Is badin drive-in still open

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Jesus Revolution is not available to watch on Netflix. If you're interested in other Movies and shows, one can access the vast library of titles within Netflix under various subscription costs depending on the plan you choose: $9.99 per month for the basic plan, $15.99 monthly for the standard plan, and $19.99 a month for the premium plan.
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They're not on Hulu, either! But prices for this streaming service currently start at $6.99 per month, or $69.99 for the whole year. For the ad-fre eversion, it's $12.99 per month, $64.99 per month for Hulu + Live TV, or $70.99 for the ad-free Hulu + Live TV.
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Is Jesus Revolution on Disney Plus?
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Jesus Revolution is not on Paramount Plus. Paramount Plus has two subscription options: the basic version ad-supported Paramount+ Essential service costs$4.99 per month, and an ad-free premium plan for $9.99 per month. costs$4.99 per month, and an ad-free premium plan for $9.99 per month. yhdd

The healthcare industry has undergone a significant transformation in recent years due to the advancement of technology. The digital transformation of the healthcare industry has brought new opportunities for both patients and healthcare providers to improve the quality of care and outcomes. This transformation has also opened doors for digital transformation companies, digital transformation solutions providers, and digital transformation consulting firm to play a crucial role in shaping the future of healthcare.

The Need for Digital Transformation in Healthcare

The healthcare industry is facing numerous challenges such as rising healthcare costs, an aging population, chronic diseases, and the need for personalized care. Digital transformation is the answer to these challenges as it can enhance efficiency, reduce costs, and improve outcomes. Digital transformation can provide healthcare providers with better access to patient data, facilitate remote patient monitoring, and support decision-making.
Digital transformation also enables healthcare providers to offer more personalized care by using data analytics to identify patient needs and preferences. It can also facilitate the development of new treatments and therapies by leveraging data insights and AI-based technologies. In short, digital transformation can revolutionize the way healthcare is delivered and experienced.

Role of Digital Transformation Companies

Digital transformation companies are playing a critical role in shaping the future of the healthcare industry. These companies provide digital transformation solutions that enable healthcare providers to digitize their operations, streamline processes, and deliver better patient experiences. They leverage technology such as cloud computing, data analytics, artificial intelligence, and the Internet of Things to provide healthcare providers with scalable and cost-effective solutions.
Digital transformation companies offer solutions that enable healthcare providers to collect and analyze patient data, provide remote patient monitoring, and offer personalized care. They also provide solutions for data security and privacy, compliance with regulations, and interoperability between different healthcare systems.

Role of Digital Transformation Consulting Firms

Digital transformation consulting firms help healthcare providers to navigate the complexities of digital transformation. They provide guidance and support in developing a digital transformation strategy, assessing the existing infrastructure, and identifying areas for improvement. They also provide expertise in implementing digital transformation solutions and ensuring a smooth transition.
Digital transformation consulting firms work with healthcare providers to identify the challenges they face and the opportunities that digital transformation can offer. They help healthcare providers to prioritize their investments in technology and develop a roadmap for achieving their digital transformation goals. They also provide training and support to ensure that healthcare providers can leverage the technology effectively.

Conclusion

The digital transformation of the healthcare industry is a game-changer that is reshaping the future of healthcare. Digital transformation companies, digital transformation solutions providers, and digital transformation consulting firms are playing a critical role in making this transformation a reality. They are providing healthcare providers with the tools and expertise they need to leverage technology and deliver better care to patients.
In conclusion, digital transformation is not just a trend; it is the future of healthcare. Healthcare providers must embrace digital transformation to stay competitive, improve outcomes, and reduce costs. Digital transformation companies and consulting firms can help healthcare providers to achieve their digital transformation goals and realize the full potential of technology in healthcare.

The rain drummed a soft beat on the roof overhead. This part of the continent was wet enough most of the year, but with the monsoon season having just begun it was a never ending sound.
The Colonel waved them in and didn’t even wait for them to get their cloaks off or be seated. “Hearing for destruction of classified information, note date and time, subject plan for pump elimination. Current status: declined. Note those present, you are Captain Wash?”
On the side a Servitor was rapidly ticking away on something, a stream of papyrus falling in a tray strapped to its body. Hard copies were common practice here. A leftover of a local culture that had taken hold over the command staff. It had nothing to do with the nearby forgeworld and how information on data slates somehow ended up with them or disappeared entirely ofcourse.
Wash saluted after he hung his wet cloak in a corner, “captain Wash, SMC” he introduced himself, his bear of a sergeant saluted but remained silent behind him as they moved to sit down in the small almost bare room with only a few chairs and tables inside.
“SMC?” The Colonel looked to his aide next to him, Wash answered.
“Special Military Company. Not good enough to be a stormtrooper, too specialist to be thrown with the regular troops. Local Guard formation sir”. The words ‘not good enough’ still hurt, but since most Stormtrooper dropouts had dropped dead in the brutal training he guessed he was lucky.
“And your specialty?”
Wash didn’t blink, “classified sir”
The aide handed the Colonel a document with several variations of Wash’s pict-cap at the top. “Why classified?”. He scanned the document.
“Standard procedure for clandestine work. It was hard to keep a secret if any higher rank could simply order you to reveal any orders of interest. The only way a lower rank is allowed to reveal something is if the one who gave the order allows it. Some exceptions are in place in the event of deaths and the like”.
“Tedious, but you didn’t answer my question” said the Colonel.
“We don’t regularly advertise our presence in the Guard. If you can’t discover my specialty, you shouldn’t know about it”.
The colonel nodded absently. “You are about to receive a document marked secret” he waved at his aide who immediately handed over a folder of documents stamped with several logos to Wash. “This document and the ideas within have been declined by the higher staff and are required to be destroyed by cleared personel in order to reduce the amount of information that can be captured or misplaced as per a bucketlist of regulations that I don’t care to name”, the Servitor seemed to understand and the speed of its clacking increased significantly while the tray filled up.
“Shouldn’t the Administratum deal with that, sir?”
The Colonel rearranged another stack of documents on his table. “I’m a busy man, the usual administratum personel is busy and you have time now. Any other frivolous questions?”
Wash shook his head.
“Captain Wash shakes his head” said the Aide to the servitor, clacking passively away in his corner.
The Colonel held up a single piece of paper. “This is a list of contents of the folder you received, we’ll do a quick rundown of the contents and you will check if nothing is missing. I do not intent to do a few runs in a penal legion for misplacing a piece of secret information”.
Wash grabbed his copy. unusual he thought.

https://old.reddit.com/HistoryPorn/comments/11x0esm/lizzie_van_zyl_was_a_7yearold_boer_girl_and_an/
British concentration camps for women and children during the Boer War Lizzie van Zyl died on May 9, 1901. Lizzie didn't do anything. She suffered as a victim of collective punishment. Lizzie and her mother, Elizabeth Cecilia van Zyl, were inmates of the Bloemfontein concentration camp. Emily Hobhouse, an anti-war activist, pressured the British military into improve the conditions of the camps after drawing public attention to the inhumane conditions. She had talked about Lizzie. She was a frail, weak little child in desperate need of good care. Yet, because her mother was one of the 'undesirables' due to the fact that her father neither surrendered nor betrayed his people, Lizzie was placed on the lowest rations and so perished with hunger that, after a month in the camp, she was transferred to the new small hospital. Here she was treated harshly. The English disposed doctor and his nurses did not understand her language and, as she could not speak English, labelled her an idiot although she was mentally fit and normal. One day she dejectedly started calling: Mother! Mother! I want to go to my mother! One Mrs. Botha walked over to her to console her. She was just telling the child that she would soon see her mother again, when she was brusquely interrupted by one of the nurses who told her not to interfere with the child as she was a nuisance. Shortly afterwards, Lizzie van Zyl died. By the war's end, 26,370 women and children (81% were children) had died in these concentration camps. The camps were the idea of Field Marshal Frederick Sleigh Roberts. However, most of the blame falls on Field Marshal Horatio Herbert Kitchener, who drastically increased their use. Kitchener had vicious scorched earth tactics which included the razing of homes and the poisoning of wells. Kitchener is also reviled protecting war criminal and mass murderer Alfred Taylor), a British Army Captain who massacred Boer civilians and perpetrated genocidal policies against indigenous people. One South African historian described Taylor as a "notorious sadist": Taylor waged a war of extermination against the local Tsonga people. So indiscriminate was Taylor's use of violence that the Tsonga still refer to him as Bulala zonke Matshangana, ("The Killer of all the Tsonga"). How an officer described Taylor: "He frequently stirred up trouble in native Kraals and then shot some native 'in self defence', as he always stated." In 1901, Taylor was charged as a suspected war criminal. However, these charges didn't come from international authorities. They didn't come from the Boers or indigenous people, either. International courts didn't exist at the time, and the British had won. However, there was still one entity which could prosecute Taylor, and it was one he would least expect. Taylor was arrested by the British military. He and several others were investigated over numerous war crimes, including these incidents. The massacre of six unarmed Boer men and boys and the theft of their money and livestock. The murder of B.J. van Buuren, a British soldier who told the wives and children of the victims, who were about to be sent to a concentration camp, about the massacre. The summary execution of Floris Visser, Boer POW. The massacre of four Boer POWs and four Dutch schoolteachers. Three indigenous people were killed after having the bad luck of witnessing the massacre. The ambush and shooting of Daniel Heese, a missionary who had protested the massacre, and an indigenous man who was Heese's assistant. The shooting of Boer women and children who were approaching the British to surrender. The gunfire killed two boys, aged five and thirteen. The shootings of a starving Boer family who had approached the British to ask them for help. The victims were Roelf van Staden and his two sons, 16-year-old Roelf Jr. and 12-year-old Christiaan. Roelf approached the British since Christiaan was sick and he was hoping they would help him get the boy medical treatment. Instead, the family was executed for no apparent reason, after allegedly being to dig their own graves. While laudable, especially for its time, the investigation and the subsequent war crimes court-martials were not exactly due to the goodwill of high command. There were multiple factors. The British was a signatory to the Hague Convention of 1899. They hoped to boost their reputation. Furthermore, Daniel Heese was German, which made his murder a diplomatic concern. However, these still weren't the main reasons. The main reason was a message. The military had received a letter which reported what was happening. The letter was written by their own troops. Some soldiers had grown increasingly disgusted from what they were witnessing. However, they were scared to talk. They knew people, even other soldiers, had been killed for trying to talk. But after seeing what happened to the von Staden family, they decided that they had no choice. Fifteen men signed a letter reporting these "disgraceful incidents", for which the Bushveldt Carbineers, of which Taylor and the officers were members, were responsible. The men had tried talking to their commanding officer, but he was already aware and refused to intervene. The men pleaded for high command to do something. They even named the perpetrators outright. Among those most implicated were Alfred Taylor, Harry "The Breaker" Morant, and Peter Handcock. As for the blame for the atrocities listed: Taylor and another officer, James Huntley Robertson (Robertson was not charged after agreeing to become a witness for the prosecution) were jointly responsible for issuing the orders to execute the Boer men and boys Robertson and Taylor were jointly responsible for ordering Handcock to murder B.J. van Buuren Morant issued the order to execute Visser Morant and Taylor were jointly responsible for the orders to execute the Boer POWs and Dutch schoolteachers Handcock had murdered Heese and his assistant, on the orders of Morant Morant and Handcock were jointly responsible for the orders to execute the von Staden family The trial transcripts have since been destroyed, but the basics are known. An excerpt from the reports of the court: "After the murder of Van Buuren, the officers seem to have exercised a reign of terror in the District, which hindered their men from reporting their illegal acts & even prevented their objecting to assist in the crime." In response to the letter, high command summoned all Fort Edward officers and non-commissioned officers, including Alfred Taylor, to Pietersburg on October 21, 1901. They were met by mounted infantry outside Pietersburg on the morning of October 23, 1901. Taylor and the other soldiers were "brought into town like criminals".

For me, if we consider them as real human beings yes. But I have realized that they have not shown mercy as well, so for that, I say = NO.
The minionsters and cult administration declared that the people who are not inside inc will not be saved, they have no mercy on them (including those good Samaritan people who are not inside the church).

1. “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink.” Ang mga itinutulong ng inc sa mga mahihirap ay galing sa bulsa ng karaniwan at maging sa mga mahihirap na miyembro kaya walang dapat ipagmapuri ang mga hinayupak na ministro. (What the inc is using to help the poor comes from the pockets of the common and poor members so the defiled minionsters have nothing to brag about)
2. “I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me,” Kapag may kalamidad, hindi magagamit ang inutil na kapilya para gawing kanlungan ng mga naapektuhan. Ang inutil na ministro ay kailangan pa ng kahilingan para dito. (When a calamity strikes, the useless chapel cannot be used to shelter the affected. The useless minister still needs a request for it.)
3. “I was sick and you looked after me” Maraming maysakit na miyembro sa mga hospital, hindi naman sinasagot ng inc ang gastusin. Maging ang new era hospital hindi libre para sa mga miyembro na itinuturing nilang maliligtas. (There are many sick members in hospitals, incult does not cover the expenses. Even the new era hospital is not free for the members they consider to be saved.)
4. “I was in prison and you came to visit me.” Hindi sila naawa sa mga kinakasuhan ng pamamahala, sa halip instrument pa sila para libakin ang mga ito. Ang kanilang mga kaaway ay kanilang ipinakukulong, imbes na kaawaan. (Minionsters did not feel sorry for those charged by the cult administration, instead they became instruments to ridicule them. The cult imprison their enemies, instead of showing mercy.)

Can I keep deep conditioner for longer than suggested? It says for (ultimate blends cocoa butter) deep conditioning to keep for up to 5minutes and wash it out troughoutly. My hair had protein overload so I washed out my hair yeasterday with chelating shampoo , and I used this conditioner but my hair is still very dry . I use leave in , mousse and gel . All of them cgm approved . I was thinking maybe leaving mask for half an hour and then wash out ? Or should I partially leave it in my hair? It says washout completely so I am afraid to leave it partially in my hair . Many thanks for any advice . Also for refreshing next day I spray water mixed with my leave in and crunch in some mousse and let it air dry . Many thanks

The person I love left me. The only one I talked to and loved in my whole life ... I kept trying to get him back, but he, as before, is indifferent to me ... I don’t have anyone, I didn’t have before. all life is endless loneliness and any person almost immediately leaves me. I feel empty, dead. I want to kill myself, I stopped feeling everything except pain. I want to calm down, but I can't. this has been going on for a year now and it's a terrible state... I don't know what to do, I just feel pain and disappointment in myself. I'm still trying to get him back, but he's only getting more and more indifferent...

I’m a student and i’m living with my family but the college is far from the place where we live so i had to stay in the college hostel but at the weekends i come to my house. One Friday i returned to my home i was tired and it was around 8 pm when i arrived at home, my mom was waiting for me and she had prepared dinner for me too. I arrived at home and i had dinner, i was really tired and i told my mom that i’m going to sleep after finishing my dinner, i took a shower and went to bed. I remember that night i had closed the door properly and the window of my room was also closed, actually we live in an apartment and before going to bed i check all the doors and windows is closed or not. That night i woke up around 11 pm to piss and when i returned to my room and i remember that i had closed the door of my room properly. After that i woken up straightly in the morning at 7 am and first thing i noticed that my room door was completely open and i began to think that was it me who left the door open? And i told my mom about this and she told me she hadn’t came to my room at night and that made me think am i overthinking or did i experienced some kind of paranormal activity ?

My biggest issue with seeing a Superstars 2 focused on Gamecube, or even 4-8, is how the item system would work. MP4 had a classic item system but heavily focused on mega and mini mushrooms with those small pipes. MP8 had more of a classic item system but just called it “candy”. MP5 had random orbs you had to pay to use, while MP6 and MP7 had the mix of orbs that you could still buy in shops.
Best bet would be they go with MP6 and MP7 style item system, but it feels weird to take out the mega and mini mushrooms from 4’s boards, and MP5 is voted as the best Gamecube Mario Party according to Superstars, so it also seems weird to go with MP6 and MP7’s item system, and MP8 was more popular than all of them, so if that is included, maybe they’ll do “candy” instead of orbs and just add more lucky spaces to make up for the fact there won’t be character spaces from orbs.
What do you guys think? What’s the one item system they would go with for Superstars 2?

I see that there's a lot of posts here nowadays, unlike 1-2 years ago but mostly on industry related. Is anyone working with CV research that wants collaboration? I'm open to any. My current research is in self-supervised learning in satellite images.

Basically the title, I've recently got on and noticed when dragging the camera using right click and turning there is a strange delay. Feels like back when we had issues with DX11 and some other VSync issues. As far as I'm aware I haven't change any settings, I have re-installed my graphics card drivers, and I've put settings back to default too no avail. I'm currently In the process of re-installing the game for a fresh install to see if this fixes the issue.
I'm torn as if this clean install does not work I might resort to reinstalling windows as a whole. I'm not sure if this would be drastic but I've run out of ideas. I have tried forcing VSync off both in the NVIDIA Control Panel and in game and still does not seem to be working. I would also like to attempt to check if my settings in the control panel are actually working in the game but I cant really find a way to prove this, if there is indeed something wrong with the Graphics Cards Control Panel settings I'd appreciate any advice how to check this.
I will update on the issue after the fresh install, until then if anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears, thanks!

Hi everyone,
I recently interviewed at a large academic institution for a CRC role and this would be my first job in clinical research. I have some experience as a graduate research assistant and am a PT by trade so this would be my first job in the clinical research industry post college. Anyways, they stated they are primarily looking for this role to fill their needs with pre study regulatory assistance to essentially take the workload off the other CRCs who are focusing more on tasks like patient recruitment and in-study tasks. They did say they would allow me to work on that side of operations in the future if they have more needs so they seem open to allowing me to learn all side of the CRC role eventually. I’ve scanned the thread but can someone explain what other career paths this could lead to with more reg experience? Ultimately CRA is appealing to me down the road but I know my depth of knowledgeable on other possible roles in this field is limited. Not sure if I will even get the position but if I do, I know this will be a hefty pay cut from my current role and want to know what’s on the horizon for me in 3-5 years. TIA!

Updated my pixel 6 pro to the March update. Whatsapp kept crashing at fingerprint. Removed the beta version and installed stable version, it keeps failing to restore backup. Able to still use it if I skip restore.
Apparently this is an issue that affects Samsung too. So maybe it's related to some google service update.
Finally managed to get message restore working after installing older version 2.23.4.80.

I mean, everytime I command they for something they take way to long to do it. The interaction is on the queu but they stand still for a while before doing it.

Welcome to FountainPens!
One of the unique aspects of the fountain pen hobby and its community is the numerous opportunities for innovative minds to offer various services or products or content (blogs, podcasts and group chat servers). And also for free giveaways that are done by both vendors and generous individuals.
So here's your chance, a weekly thread to promote anything that is useful to the subreddit members and the FP community represented by it.
Vendors may promote their products and services, be it pen restorations, making custom pens, tuning nibs, handcrafted pen cases, weekly specials from your store, etc.
Content producers such as blog-writers, chat serves, podcast, youtube video reviewers with useful fountain pen -related contents are also welcome to promote new or special contents.
Individuals (or vendors) who want to do a Pay It Forward (PIF) giveaways, group buys, special projects for charity, now have a better chance to get more participants by putting the main post on this thread which then can be linked to in additional *short * posts on days other than Tuesdays.
This weekly thread is not for individual members to buy, sell, and trade pens.
IMPORTANT RULES
The Promotion Tuesday thread will still be governed by our no-spam policy. If you start to spam (more than reasonable number of posts or other antics), you may be disallowed from participating in future threads. Regular participation elsewhere in the subreddit will be be one of the determining factors.
The Promotion Tuesday thread is for individuals and vendors who have something to promote, for example: new products, new blogs, Pay It Forward giveaways, special sale for the week, chat groups, and anything else that needs a fair exposure and promotion. This thread is not for individuals to sell pens.
No Affiliated links. If you are a blog writer and would like to get some exposure, you can tell us about your blog, but don't try to harvest clicks through affiliated links to vendors that you made a deal with.

No posting this elsewhere.
My JNFMIL is pretty cookie cutter. She is controlling, manipulative, plays the victim, all the stock standard JNMIL character traits. She has verbally abused me, degraded me and victim blamed me. Ive been quiet throughout this whole thing with her. Trying to not stir the pot and just fade into the background. I was hoping that by laying low as everyone in FDHs family suggested, this would blow over. It obvioulsy isnt working.
I was speaking with another family member who told me that JNFMIL is again complaining that she's done everything she can to resolve this situation, and that she has text message proof that I insulted her and threatened her. She also continues to push the narrative that I have never, not once, apologised to her. These are her main issues with me apparently.
She has said all of this multiple times to multiple people over the past 5 years. That's right, I haven't spoken with the woman in 5 years. She is actively badgering on about an argument from half a decade ago REGULARLY. Her persistence has paid off. Most of her family now hates me. And I never said a word to defend myself, not wanting to "cause a scene" or look like I'm the problem.
I find it funny that she uses these text messages I sent her as a foundational part of her argument. Does she not realise these "threatening and insulting" messages are also on someone else's phone???
The messages she is referring to are ones where I wish her a happy mothers day, a safe flight, and then another where I apologise to her and ask if she would like to meet in person to talk more. All within the same few months of the initial argument, and all left on seen by her (The thing I apologised for was a misunderstanding, she took a situation entirely the wrong way and despite a clear and obvious explanation, she still felt wrong done by and attacked.)
Today I wrote an open letter to her. With screenshots of the messages included. I wrote this for therapeutic purposes. To get the rage and feeling of injustice out of my system. I think hearing that she is still doing this has just tipped me over the edge. I can do nothing right in her eyes, so I'm done trying.
Once I finished writing it I had an intense urge to post it. Right now it seems like a fantastic idea. I feel like if i do it now i will be acting on impulse though, and am looking for a voice of reason I suppose. Or maybe I should just post it here? (Minus the screenshots ofc).
*because people will ask, FDH is low contact. He has an awful relationship with her now and I don't think they will speak again for quite some time. I asked him his thoughts and he said to do whatever I want and that she deserves it. He has a very shiny spine

Trigger warning: grooming, narcissistic abuse. Bare with me a little, I know it's messy but I needed to put his all out.
I really wanted to share a little bit of my story cause I feel so overwhelmed and I do not know what to do with my life anymore. I'm so lost. And I've never felt lonelier.
I'm sitting at my computer after waking up with my "situationship'' person next to me (thats a whole another story, but we do have feelings for each other, yet we don't think we should be in a relationship together at this time in life). He asked me how I was this morning and I just burst into tears. I am not ok. That's all I could say and cry.
I took a sick leave from work because I can't motivate myself to work. I feel discardable and unimportant. I work in a very close knit office in a very specific company for 5 years, we are around 10 people in the office and I feel like my colleagues are not interested in me as a person. I feel so worthless and like nobody cares if I open my mouth to say anything. But I also don't care about being involved in the same old repetitive jokes, pretending I care about my colleague's child cause thats the only thing the conversation revolves around (and the same 5 stupid jokes that get repeated every single day). Now I can imagine you saying: well of course you feel like it, you get what you give .... However, would anyone care that I'm struggling daily with suicidal thoughts? Would they care I have found spirituality to search for purpose? Would they care that the salary I receive that 60-70% goes to bills and I can't afford to eat ? NO. As long as it's not small talk bullshit, they don't care or know how to respond. Yet, that's the main thing I'm concerned about. Not about their children's problems with their testicles (yes, the whole office knew that) or how another colleague is going shopping every week and planning her next trip to Italy cause she lives with her parents and can spend her money without paying the same amount of bills a single woman does living alone in the centre of the biggest city in the country (Eastern Europe). I've talked to my boss about a raise cause after 5 years, still living with less than a 1000 euro each month and the prices rising so much ... I can't live with that kind of money anymore. It's funny. All my boss says is: manage your finances better ...
In the past years I've lost most of my friends. My best friend was in love with the guy she set me up with (that's the situationship guy from the beginning) and around 10 months ago she said: "I can't look you in the eye anymore", cried how all she thinks about was the guy she set me up with and we came to a conclusion that this friendship is dead and she does not want to see me again. I said I'll wait for her cause I love her... and today is her birthday, she turns 28. We were best friends for 11 years and even got a stupid matching best friends tattoo back in the day. I still sleep with the teddy bear she gave me on my 19th birthday. When I found her in high school I thought finally ... a friend just for me. Our school mates thought we were lesbians. And we were a team for a while. But before her, for some reason, I've had difficulties to be and feel accepted in the friend group. Before high-school it was always a girl friend group who had a leader and the rest were her pawns. I got sick of being a soldier with no brain and I really wanted an equal part and respect with the whole group. Cause I thought and still think that I'm: real, honest, reliable & loyal af. All they saw was the friend who is not good enough cause I did not want to do always what they did, pursue the same stuff as them, be outside of the box they were putting themselves into. I always was that friend to start hating randomly... cause I let them? I'm not sure.
My family life ... I'd say my closest family is only my grandma and my cousin.. the two people i can actually be real with. I do have a mother, a stepdad and a half-brother 15 years younger. My mother is a covert narcissist. I do not know my biological father. I had a different dad growing up than my younger step-brother. I thought the dad that raised me was my biological father for a very long time until I found out all by myself at 9 y/o that my mother was married with another man that had my last name and voila! The dad that I thought was my real dad adopted me officially after he married my mom. His name is in my birth certificate. I only found that out when I was 20 (thanks again mom). My dad and my mom did not tell me they divorced when i was around 11 ... again, I found it out only by myself cause I was a curious kid. My mother changed boyfriends and then found my stepdad and to gain his house she had to give birth to a son... where my step-brother comes in. I was 15 y/o in the summer I got my step-brother ... and then at the end of the summer I lost my dad in a motorcycle crash. He was my buddy. The one who told me about his adventures on his bike while drinking a glass of light beer and playing cards. We watched movies, listened to music. He was really involved in forming who I am now. He was not perfect but I really felt the fatherly love from him. While my mom ... she only gave a shit when she got something out of me. That I got good grades, she boasted it was because she was smart. When I had my birthday, she celebrated her being so young and still looking so young cause she birthed me when she was 20. She wanted me to be her doll, looking perfect, with clothes she liked and she did not let me play around outside as a kid if I had the pretty clothes on. When I didn't do something she wanted to be done but she didn't ask nicely, just expected it to be done, she stood in the door frame of my tiny room screaming and shouting at me for 40 minutes straight and if i dared to even try to say something, just barely moving my mouth, I got yelled at louder and harder... and then I learned to disassociate. However, after my brother was in the picture, she just didn't give a shit about me as a child with needs. She stopped providing me with clothes and my grandma started helping... after that she said I looked ugly and that nobody would like me. She offered me (offered is a generous statement here, I had no choice) to pay to be a nanny for my brother my whole summer break from school. Yeah, I get it, I got some money, but you have to undertsand, she would give me such little pocket money, I could not even buy a decent lunch at school. I had to be alone with a 1/2 y/o for the whole summer. Every work day. When I should have been outside doing something with friends or making them in the least. People thought my younger brother was my son when I went out with him. Since those 2 summers I decided I will not have children of my own.
After those 2 summers I met my (now ex) boyfriend. We met on omegle (yikes) when I was 17 (yikes) and he ... was 27 (bigYikes). I was lonely, freshly without a dad, without good long-term friends, my parents paid no attention to me. I was drinking vodka with orange juice in my room alone while searching for friends online. Mostly they were men. But... context is important here. I was a very horny teenager. Like any guy is horny while being 16/17 ... this girl was a pedo's dream. I was very into Lolita aesthetic, I had just freshly read the book too. I'm not gonna lie, I was into older guys cause at that age, no boy who I liked and who was my age paid attention to me. I thought I was ugly. My parents didn't get me braces cause they were too expensive (yet my mom could buy fur coats and go to nice trips) and I felt very insecure with my smile. Yet ... one evening on omegle was what changed my life. I found a chat, the camera was off for him but on for me. He complimented my smile, how I looked. I never got that kind of attention. Then I found out we had our birthday on the same date which felt like a sign. Then we started skyping. After a week I saw his face. TBH, not the most handsome guy but it is not that important for me. He said he got jewellery for me. He also had a girlfriend from my country before which I thought was cool cause he knew the culture then. After a month of chatting and sexting he came to see me. I lied to my mom that I 'd be staying at my friends place for a weekend cause there was a party but I actually went to met him and we were staying at a hotel not too far from my home. The first thing we did was fuck. We did that the whole weekend with a few breaks of going to the movies, to eat and see the old town. After a month he offered me to go to him ... I explained the situation to my mom like this: I met someone, on the internet, he lives in West Europe and wants to invite me to visit. My parents agreed. Imagine that. My mother fucking sold me. At least that's how my grandma calls it. But you know, I didn't think like that when I was 17... I thought I was IN LOVE. But you know why my grandma said my mother sold me? My mother relied on HIM now to get me everything I'd need. Clothes, phones... etc etc. She gave me a symbolic 2 euro pocket money a few days in the week, how generous of her. You know, that's not even the best part yet ... because my dad had died and I was officially his child I got his pension but because I was not 18 y/o my mother got all the money and told me that only like 5 months before I turned 18. The pension was decent. Decent enough for me not to ask anyone for money anymore. Or start saving for university ... my mother spent it all until she decided to tell me she got the money since he had died. And for those few months I knew she could give me maybe 1/3rd of what she got. After I turned 18, I'd get it all then. Well, while she was trying to start a new family, her 17 y/o daughter was fucking a pedo. You gotta understand about me, when I was 17, I did not look like a young adult, I still looked pretty much like a child. I still got the chubby cheeks, I was very slender, barely any womanly features, natural hair. A dream for a guy like that. And the worst part is, I was completely under his spell. I thought finally I'm getting the life I thought I deserved. I saw so many countries and places I only ever dreamed of seeing as a poor Eastern European girl. I finally got that fatherly figure in my life who takes care of me. All of his friends were happy for him to be with such a young and cute girl. I finished high-school while planning going to universities where he lived. I got totally put in a trap where the only person important in my life was him. I worked very hard to arrange everything and to apply for those universities while my best friend, who I mentioned at the start, started ditching school and she partied and started working cause she was also not that well off and I spent my last year of high school basically all alone and later she blamed me for ditching her while I was living with him across Europe. I got into the university. He bought us a place to live between the city of my uni and his work. It was still 2h going in 1 direction 3-4 times a week. I was isolated from my course mates in university. I did not live with them. My only close friend there was him. Besides my bff who barely finished high-school I had no close friends at school. I had tops 2-4 other friends besides her. Rest of my year called me a weird lesbian for some reason. One guy even asked my BFF why I was so weird. I never understood why I was thought of as weird at school. Because I did not have rich/well off parents? Because I did not have the perfect smile? Because I was a bit introverted? I realise now as I am getting older maybe I am on the autism spectre and I do have some problems with maintaining eye-contact but I am not that far on the spectrum I'd say to be impaired really in my communication. Bu that is a side note to this all. I just got perceived as weird for some unexplained reasons. After being in a relationship with him ... a lot of bad stuff emerged. He was a compulsive liar. He chatted with his exes, with other girls he met online all over East-Europe. I found e-mails he sent to other women being signed "Love, forever yours" and said that's how he talks to his friends. The jewellery he got me at the start? He stole it from his mothers (or asked, I'm not sure what was right). He gaslit me to a point where I was paranoid I started snooping every single thing he owned. I checked his amex bills if he was not seeing other women, I saw he was registered in different dating apps. And the crown to this all is: A TEENAGE BOY HE TRAINED IN FOOTBALL ACCUSED HIM OF ASKING FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS IN EXCHANGE OF GOODS. It ruined his reputation, he got raided by the police, his family did not trust him anymore, he got shunned. And I stuck to him 100%, that's how blind I was. Of course I had my questions yet I trusted him so much cause I did not have anyone else. He got a court case, he got public service as a punishment cause they found a weird deleted pic on his computer (that is what he said to me). Furthermore, my friend told me he was chatting with her and her friends behind my back and told them to not tell me... And that was right before I had to move in with him to go to my university. I did it anyway. I did not finish the year in uni. I was burned out from the 4h spending every day in public transport, dealing with his emotional abuse and trying to do all of my uni work which was completely overwhelming. We even got into couples therapy cause I did not know how to trust him anymore. The therapist told me: D, you know what to do by now. And I did. I had to go back home.
That summer we drove back home. I drove back home to a mother who had sold the apartment that was supposed to be mine when i was 18 cause my dad who raised me bought it for my mother and later to be left for me. I had nothing. Just a room in my step-dads family house. He was not my family. However, my mother wanted me to feel that, I did not. I could not. I was too old for that. He knew we did not drive here just for a vacation. He knew that when he drove back alone and I did not come with him to spend more time back home, I would not return later. After 3 weeks of being home without him. I left him. I started to work as a barista. Finally, making some friends, starting new relationships. Doing what I should have been doing. Started to live with my BFF cause I could not stand my mother. I could not stand looking at her treating my brother like he deserved everything he wanted. I am still sick of looking how she coddles him and I am constantly reminded how she could have been like that with me but she just did not see me as a child that needs love from her.
For now, thank you for reading. I feel I lost my point a little. I just really really wanted to share something to the world from my life cause I sit here every day alone smoking too much weed and trying to cope. I do not know if that works anymore. I feel lost & aimless. If you have any questions about me and my life I'll gladly answer them. And I am sorry for the ramble but there is so much I still did not write here. Maybe one day my life will make an interesting book.