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2023.03.26 12:58 deepvoicednerd [Motorsport] "They said to me, if you Peter Brock announce this car at the end of this week, we will withdraw all support. Well, I’ve gone ahead, and I’ve announced it.” How a box of crystals brought down Australia’s number one race team and its driver. The rise and fall of the Holden Dealer Team.

This post was originally a reply to a question on one of my other posts here, but it really deserves its own more detailed post simply because even over 30 years later it just makes me and a lot of others go “Eeh? How did that actually happen?”
When it comes to sporting rivalries in Australia, Ford vs Holden is one of the longest. Today, it’s hard to believe with Ford no longer making cars in Australia and Holden no longer even existing but there was a time were what car Australians drove really mattered. Were you a Holden family with Monaro’s, Torana’s and Commodores or a Ford family with a Falcon in your driveway? It was one or the other. No in between. There are stories of Holden-driving fathers refusing to allow their daughters to date boys simply because their dads drove Fords. The battles were fought on every level: advertising, dealers and from the mid-1960’s on the racetrack. And that’s were our story kicks off…
It's 1967 and for the first time, an Australian-made car has won the Bathurst 500. A Ford Falcon XR driven by Harry Firth and Fred Gibson wins the race and Ford Australia are ecstatic. A phrase commonly used at the time is “Win on Sunday, sell on Monday.” Winning Bathurst was a big deal and Ford reaped the benefits with sales and foot traffic into their dealerships. Crucially it really hurt their main rivals Holden.
For 1968 Holden wanted revenge on the racetrack. They had a great car in which to get it too, the Monaro. There was however, a bit of a problem. You see Holden despite being proudly Australian was owned by General Motors and at the time, GM had a blanket ban on their manufacturers going motor racing.
Pretty much everyone within Holden wanted to go racing though, so the Holden heavies looked for a loophole that would get them on the Bathurst grid and they quickly found one. They realised that there was nothing to stop them giving some money to their dealers and telling the dealers to then give said money to an idependant race team and voila! You’ve got yourself an all-but-official factory race team that gets around the GM ban. The man at the head of this team is David McKay, Australia’s first touring car champion. He’s ready to take on Ford’s leader Harry Firth.
For the 1968 Bathurst 500, the Holden vs Ford battlelines are drawn. And Holden gets its revenge as Firth’s Ford’s flounder. Strangely though, it’s a privateer Monaro that takes the chequered flag first. McKay brings his factory-but-not-really-factory-just-in-case-Detroit-gets-wind-of-this Monaro’s home second, third and fifth. And then he made an error. He failed to protest against the winning Monaro that some alleged ran with an illegal brake system. Holden’s heavies weren’t happy at all. They were in it to win with their own cars not their customers. And then for McKay, things got worse.
After Bathurst, Holden and Ford would face off again in the 1968 London to Sydney Marathon, the most epic car race ever staged. Almost 100 teams from all over the world took part but Australia was only focused on Firth & McKay. They were evenly matched. 3 Falcons for Firth and 3 Monaro’s for McKay. And just like Bathurst, neither of them won.
But in the Ford vs Holden battle, Ford came out most definitely on top, finishing 3rd, 6th and 8th and taking the best performing team award for their troubles. McKay’s Monaro’s came home 12th, 14th and McKay’s lead car DNF’ed after rolling in the Australian outback. And that was the last straw for Holden. McKay had failed them.
Ford Australia meantime was going through a restructure. The restructure involved refreshing their racing team. And incredibly, that meant showing Harry Firth the door. Big Mistake. Huge. You’d think after his marathon efforts, Ford would be pretty chuffed, but they got rid of him. Holden pounced. Within a fortnight, Harry was a Holden man. All his mechanics and engineers went with him. This was the start of what became the Holden Dealer Team.
Despite nicking all of Ford’s mechanics and tech know-how, Firth failed to poach their drivers. That forced him to go searching for young talent. He eventually found Colin Bond a promising rally and circuit driver and then noticed a driver of a little blue Austin A30 that was giving almost every competitor a complete belting. His name? Peter Brock.
For Bathurst 1969, Firth did what McKay couldn’t: Deliver the Holden factory a Bathurst win. Bond won, Brock was third and just behind was Ford’s new lead driver. He was an ex-pat Canadian who looked like an angry maths teacher. His name? Allan Moffat. A rivalry had just started.
For 1970 & ’71, Moffat dominated the Bathurst enduro in the mighty GTHO Falcon but in 1972, Brock struck back for Holden. That win made him the golden boy of Australian motorsport. Brock wore the white hat: hippy-handsome, a great driver and a man of the people, driving the Australian car. Moffat wore the black hat: cranky, methodical, withdrawn and representing the American manufacturer.
For 1973 the ante was turned up. The Bathurst race went from imperial to metric. 500 miles became 1000 kilometres. The regulations changed from Improved Production (stock-standard production cars with minimal upgrades. Some were even road registered) to the more liberal Group C Touring Cars. Moffat cleaned up in ’73 but it wasn’t all doom and gloom for Holden when at the end of the year, Ford pulled the plug on its factory race team. From 1974 Moffat was forced to go it alone in his own team with only back-door support from Ford.
But Holden wasn’t without its troubles either. At the end of 1974, Brock had a blow-up with Firth and left the HDT. Some say Firth fired him. Others say Brock grew tired of Firth’s iron fist approach to running the team and dipped out.
In two years both the white knight and the black knight were out on their own. And yet…they excelled. Despite driving a shoestring budget Holden, Brock won Bathurst in 1975. Moffat was a constant front-runner. The back-door support from Ford helped. The Holden Dealer Team though remained THE Team. Firth still ran it efficiently and he still had Colin Bond. Like Brock though, Bond was growing tired of Firth. He was paid next to nothing for his driving and expected to be on spanner duty in the workshop. So when Allan Moffat made him an offer at the end of 1976, Colin accepted.
In 1977, to quote Moffat: “We blew the doors off Holden”. With the HDT now minus their two star drivers, Holden floundered on the track. Moffat’s Ford team was well-backed and well-organised and as a result, Moffat in Falcon #1 and Bond in Falcon #2 dominated the year. The crowning glory was their 1-2 formation finish at Bathurst. Ford got an insane amount of mileage out of it. Nearly 50 years later, it remains one of the most iconic images of Australian motorsport. At the end of the year an exasperated Holden official approached Moffat and in desperation asked: “What can we do to beat you?”
Moffat shrugged and replied “Simple. Re-employ Brock”
With Harry Firth retiring, that’s exactly what they did. For 1978, Brock was back as a driver for the HDT. Moffat’s honest reply to that Holden official came back to bite him in the clacker. With money from Ford drying up, Moffat began to flounder and Brock dominated for the next two years, culminating in the 1979 Bathurst 1000 were he won by a whopping 6 laps and broke the lap record on the final lap. What a show off.
But then right after that epic performance…Holden pulled the plug. They were done.
Brock however refused to give up. He assumed ownership of the team and over Christmas, embarked on a whistle-stop tour of the Holden dealerships offering them a deal. The deal he offered them was a tricked-up road-going Holden Commodore built by the HDT. Any Holden dealership who helped fund the race team got exclusive access to sell the road-going car. The campaign was a success. Over 100 dealerships signed up putting the ‘Dealer’ right back into the Holden Dealer Team and HDT Special Vehicles was born.
In the early 1980’s, the HDT lead by Brock was a juggernaut both on and off the racetrack. Bathurst victory after Bathurst victory and the road car business boomed. Initially, Holden were reluctant but seeing the demand, they supported the program. By 1981 the first HDT road cars were delivered to the clamouring dealers. As Brock’s number one lieutenant and teammate John Harvey put it “Demand was so high, we couldn’t make them quick enough!”
The Group C Touring Car era ended at the end of 1984 and the Holden Dealer Team looked every bit like champions. Multiple Bathurst and other race wins, a road car arm that was fast becoming a great Australian success story and the best and most popular driver in the country at the head of it.
What next?
For 1985, Australia adopted international Group A Touring Car regulations. With every touring car series all over the world running to these regulations, you could take a car all over the world and race it. Pretty cool right? Brock certainly thought so and started planning...
But before we get to the HDT takes on the world part, let’s back up a bit. At the back end of 1984, Peter Brock was absolutely knackered. On top of driving, running the race team, an unsuccessful Le Mans campaign and the road car division, he liked a drink and a smoke or ten. Heck the HDT’s main sponsor was Marlboro. There were rumours he was really, really crook.
Ultimately, Brock found a chiropractor called Eric Dowker who got him back into shape. Dowker also got him off the grog and the cigs and even got him to go vegan.
For 1985, Peter Brock rolled out ready for the Group A era. He was in much better health by now thanks to Dowker’s interesting therapy (we’ll get to that in a minute). Mobil replaced Marlboro as the main sponsor on the race cars and Brock set about plans to take on the world.
First thing he needed to do was to sell enough road going HDT cars to satisfy the Group A rules. Once he had done that, the race Holden could be based off the HDT road car with all the tricked-up bits on it. By the end of 1985, he had done just that.
1986 was going to be a big year for the HDT. Their new car was ready to take on not just Australia but also Europe. Brock was looking ahead to 1987 and the World Touring Car Championship that going to take place. As well as his regular Australian campaign he was going to take the HDT to Europe for a partial campaign in the European series as ‘dress rehearsal’ for the WTCC a year later.
And then Brock did something unthinkable. He invited Allan Moffat to morning tea at his workshop. At the time, Moffat was unemployed. After his Ford support dried up, he became a Mazda man which didn’t make him more popular. In fact it made him less popular. Signs that read ‘no Jap-Crap’ were prominent around Australian racetracks in the early 80’s. He had delivered them a reasonable amount of success but when the Group A era started, Mazda didn’t have a car that would fit the regulations. Moffat was out of a job when the phone rang with Brock’s morning tea invite.
According to Moffat “Morning tea turned into long lunch, long lunch became afternoon tea and I drove home in a HDT Commodore, my new company car.”
All of Australian motorsport chocked on their breakfast when they read the headline ‘Moffat joins HDT’. Superman had just hired Lex Luther. “What the actual f**k?” said literally everyone.
With everyone still in shock, Brock & Moffat started off 1986 with a win in New Zealand, their first race as teammates. They both looked at each other after the race and almost simultaneously asked “Why didn’t we do this a decade earlier?” And then everyone got it. The best driver in Australia had hired the second-best driver in Australia. A pretty good duo to take on the world, yeah?
The first half of 1986 was a busy one for the HDT. The Australian championship, the partial European campaign that culminated in the Spa 24 Hour in Belgium and the ever-expanding road car business, Peter Brock was a man who looked to have it made. As Moffat put it, “Peter was well on his way to becoming a millionaire while the rest of us were just journeymen”.
And then…
Then came the Energy Polariser.
This is when things turn to sh*t.
As I said Eric Dowker was a key part of Brock’s life. Along with going smoke and grog-free, part of his treatments involved crystals and all sorts of stuff that would be considered “New Age”. Noticing how well it had worked on him, Brock became a full-on convert. He was bordering on being obsessed with these damn crystals and then he had an idea: If crystals and help human performance, what about car performance?
The idea seemed innocent enough, but most would have written it off. Brock didn’t. According to some from within the HDT, crystals were getting dangled around the engine dyno and other areas of the workshop. Dowker started appearing at every race meeting in full HDT uniform. He was mockingly referred to as “Doctor Feelgood”.
Ultimately, Brock and Dowker came up with a small plastic box filled with a pair of magnets separated by some crystals embedded in epoxy resin. It was held to the firewall of a car by a single self-tapping screw. The Energy Polariser.
According to Brock “It’s a magic cure. It makes a shithouse car good.”
Brock had already been quietly fitting them to the race cars without telling the other drivers. John Harvey only found out when the polariser broke off its mounting point during a practice session and almost went under his brake pedal.
Brock then started offering them to customers. For just $467AUD you could have this little box of magic fitted to the firewall of your car and it would cure all its ills (allegedly).
Now put yourself in Holden’s shoes. You have an image to maintain right? And then you find out your golden boy is with no scientific basis, putting a box of crystals in cars that have your name and badge on them claiming that they’re “Aligning the molecules of the engine”. Hmm…
So very reasonably, Holden at this point is saying “Uh Peter? This Energy Polariser thingy? What’s the thinking behind it? Seems a bit fishy to us.”
Brock and Dowker respond to Holden with a press release. It was essentially one page of complete and utter gibberish were Brock and Dowker crap on about “vibrations” and how the Polariser will “align the molecules in its sphere of influence”. Want to give yourself a migraine? Here it is in all its glory (apologies for the quality): https://hsvclubnsw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/DB-Technology-Polariser-Statement.pdf
Remember, this isn’t a cult leader or a pyramid scheme sales pitch or a Byron Bay “Instagram influencer” coming out with this. This is coming from a racing car driver.
The real concerning thing for Holden and anyone who knows a thing or two about cars was the recommended tyre pressures for a Polariser-equipped car: 20 psi. For those of you who don’t know, that’s all but flat. But according to Brock, that’s okay because “the molecules will be aligned, and all will be well…”
At best it was all pseudoscience and at worst it was downright dangerous. Holden were alarmed and insisted on properly testing it. To nobody’s surprise it was found to be simply what it looked like: a box of crystals. Brock then went over Holden’s head to General Motors thinking that surely the mothership would hear him out. They didn’t. Still though, Brock rejected the perfectly reasonable findings that his box of crystals was useless. He even lied to Holden that when GM tested it, they thought it was brilliant and were considering making it a standard feature in all their cars. A quick phone called from Australia to America proved that to be false. As far as Brock was concerned, the Energy Polariser was so advanced, there wasn’t a way to properly test it. Holden were NOT happy at this point.
Brock though didn’t care. Even when the Australian Sceptic’s Society awarded him their ‘Bent Spoon Award’, he pushed on determinedly creating a road car that in his mind would be his and the HDT’s crowning glory: The Director.
All this culminated in February 1987.
The World Touring Car Championship that the HDT were going to take on? Nope. Brock pulled the pin leaving co-drivers Moffat and Harvey (who were both finalising sponsorship deals) out in the cold.
And then he really, really shot himself in the foot when he launched The Director. As an aside, The Director was one badass looking car. Based on the Holden VL Commodore with a low body kit and flared rear wing it still looks the goods today. But Holden took a dim view of it for two main reasons:

It came with the Energy Polariser fitted as standard.
It featured a new independent rear suspension system developed by the HDT that Holden hadn’t tested or approved.

Holden had asked for more time to evaluate the suspension, but Brock ignored them and refused to even allow Holden to test it. On top the Energy Polariser, it was the last straw.
At the launch of The Director Brock stood in front of The Director that sat on a rotating platform and said the words that put the final nail in the HDT’s coffin:
“We have a motor car which you can probably see circulating behind me which is capable of gaining us some much-earned export dollars and Holden are trying to stop me and I’m a pretty determined sort of person and I’m pressing on. They said to me, if you Peter Brock announce this car at the end of this week, we will withdraw all support. Well, I’ve gone ahead, and I’ve announced it.”
After that, Holden were officially done. They terminated their partnership with the HDT. The dealers cut the support to the race team and the money dried up. The road car business was finished and the race team was decimated. Allan Moffat and John Harvey resigned.
Here's a news report that sums up the events: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZZpP4fbgeE&t=196s
Moffat summed it up best in his autobiography: “I have been through the corporate wringer myself. I have railed against bureaucracy and been frustrated by people who simply won’t be reasonable and do things my way. I have, in my view, been severely let down by people I’ve trusted-although possibly they don’t share that opinion. But if I’d been in a position where I had General Motors in my hip pocket, I would never, never, never have put myself above them. That’s not corporate cowardice; it’s just common sense.”
The HDT was done. Or was it? You see although Holden didn’t want a bar of Brock, his main sponsor Mobil reasoned that he was still the fan favourite and therefore, still money in the bank and agreed to sponsor what was left of the team. He just needed a bit of extra cash to keep him racing. And it came from an unlikely source.
He had three race cars left in his workshop. Two were for racing in Australia and the third was for the aborted World Touring Car campaign. Three men showed up to look at that car. They told Brock they represented a huge fan of his who wanted to own a bit of Brock history. They wrote a cheque for $125 000, gave it to Brock, put the car on their trailer and took it straight to the car’s new owner: Allan Moffat.
Moffat and John Harvey ended up doing what Brock was going to do: Have a crack at the World Championship. It was only a partial campaign on a shoestring budget, but they took a victory at Monza and an outstanding 4th outright at the Spa 24 Hour, driving as a two-man team when everyone else had 3. For me, as an Australian motorsport nutcase, this remains one of the biggest ‘what-ifs’. I mean just imagine if Brock pulled his head in and they had a proper well-financed crack at it. The HDT could have been world champions…
But that’s all hypotheticals. For 1987, Brock ran a much leaner operation. He had a quiet Australian championship. No wins and no podiums. He was even lapped in several races. He cut a dejected figure. And then…
He went out and won the Bathurst 1000.
Against the world’s best (Bathurst was part of the World Touring Car Championship), and in a shoestring budget sh*tbox of a car, he won the damn thing! (I’ve covered that race more thoroughly in a previous post here. Just check my profile for the “Nice wheel arches mate” story. Highly recommend, great read 😉)
After 1987 though, Brock really was in the wilderness. He spent 1988 in an uncompetitive BMW and 1989 & 1990 in a, wait for it, in a Ford. He did win a handful of races but was far from the force he once was. At the end of 1990 the team was officially closed down.
For 1991 Brock went back to Holden, albeit as a privateer, again with minimal success. For 1994 though, Holden took him back in a factory capacity. After the HDT was wound down, Holden backed a new factory squad run by the Tom Walkinshaw Racing empire, the Holden Racing Team. For 1994, the HRT reasoned that commercially, having the people’s champion and the money from Mobil that came with him was a good thing. Brock was back albeit just as a driver. He had no say in the running of the team. Still, he became more competitive again, but he never quite rediscovered his untouchable brilliance from the late 70’s and early 80’s. The younger generation was taking over. By the end of 1997, he retired from fulltime driving.
The problem for Brock, was that retirement didn’t suit him. He was restless and kept on having little comebacks. Some were successful, others less so. He also got right into tarmac rallying which would sadly be the death of him. Ask any Australian motor racing fan where they were and what they were doing on the 8th of September 2006, and they will be able to tell you. I know I can. Driving in a Targa Rally in Western Australia, Brock’s Daytona Coupe went driver’s door first into a thick gum tree. He was killed instantly. All of Australia went into mourning for the second time in just a couple of days. Steve Irwin had died earlier in the week. September ’06 sucked if you were Australian.
It's been over 15 years since Peter Brock died. Many books, documentaries and podcasts have been made about him. There’s no doubt that he was THE fan favourite of Australian motorsport and his legacy and success is still revered today. And yet, when you bring up February 1987 and the events leading up to it to a Brock-diehard even they’ll admit it wasn’t his finest hour. Good people sometimes make bad decisions.
To finish up, here’s an ironic twist to the story. Since Brock’s death, the value of the HDT road cars has spiked due to their heritage and rareness. But the most valuable of all? That would be The Director. Only 9 were made before the HDT road car division was shut down so their value has soared. Originally priced at $87 000 when launched in 1987, one of them sold at auction for well over $300 000 in 2010. The same car that brought the company down is now the most valuable car that it produced.
And yes, it came equipped with the Energy Polariser.

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2023.03.26 12:16 TeeCeePee_EyePee How should I approach a cash flow crisis with debt?

Here’s the situation (all numbers have an element of rounding).
1st Oct 2020. Bought the house. 425k at a 90% LTV. Needed a lot of work. Roof was leaky, needed entire new central heating, ceilings upstairs were falling in. It was a wreck. But, it’s a 6 bed detached in an area where a nicely done 3100sq ft house should be 650-700 or a good deal more.
The plan: Take out the mortgage, take out loans, see house value go up, roll debt into mortgage. So far so good.
I took out what I thought was a 3 year fixed, at 2.some%
My expectation was to take out some loans over 3 years, drop the cash into the house, fix it up, roll the debt into the mortgage after 3 years, and life is good.
The house fixing up cost a bit more than I expected, but nothing earth shattering. New roof, new central heating (17 rads) 11 panels of solar etc, and a total redecoration including pulling down all of the upstairs ceilings and putting them back up. There’s still tons of work to do, 50%+ of the windows are blown, needs to be re-rendered, and a load of work to the garden and a new kitchen (early 80s I think). All the units need replacing and the floor needs to be re-done.
I’m currently in 64k of personal debt.
Loan 1 is 3%, 17k to repay @ 450pcm.
Loan 2 is at 3%, 14k to repay @ 400pcm.
Loan 3 is 8% at 6k to repay @ 150pcm.
My credit card has 16.5k on it @ 700pcm.
Wife’s credit card has 8k on it @ 300pcm.
Total repayment each month is 2k on top of the mortgage. Which is a bit painful (I’m underselling this issue, it’s less than ideal. A bit of a pickle. A challenge.). What’s the house worth now? No concrete info, but doing some guessing based on recent sales in Rightmove, I’d say 550k is conservative. To note, current mortgage stands at 360k and change. So I now have some equity in the house to play with.
However, it turns out that I was smart, and got the mortgage fixed over 5 years. But now, my plan for folding the debt into a re-mortgage in Oct has fallen through.
So. What to do.
Objective. Bring down monthly cost. Pay at work has an element of commission which means I’d like the option to pay off lumps as I get them, rather than be locked into high repayments every month. All the existing debt has next to no early repayment charges. Those big loans will charge 1 month of interest (roughly £50-100) to clear each one in a single hit.
Option 1. My mortgage advisor tried to get a second mortgage through my current provider, HSBC which would have dropped the 2000 repayment to 350-380 pcm. With the intention that in 2 years I’d fold them together (rates depending) and continue with a single mortgage. This has been rejected by HSBC because they couldn’t be sure I wouldn’t just take the money and not pay off the debt. No amount of arguing would convince them that I’m not that dumb, apparently.
Option 2. A secured loan. Took a look, and borrowing 65k would cost 4.5k to just take the loan out, on top of 10.5% APR at 700pcm. There would also be early exit fees. Considering I wanted to only have this for 2 years, seems silly.
Option 3. I’m still working on that.
So, UKPF, what have I missed?
It’s irritating, because the money still exists. It’s in the house. In fact, the house value has gone up significantly more than what I’ve put into it, which was the plan all along. This is the forever home. I’ve never missed a payment on anything and I’m at 970-980 score according to equifacks.

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2023.03.26 12:12 Quick_FormTA Do dependable, emotionally mature but physically unattractive or unprepossessing men have a chance at relationships where women are not settling for them? Is there a scenario where they're actually desirable and not just a safe option?

I am 24M and here's my experiences with some women with whom I consider I shared a deeply emotional relationship. I have a few other female friends and acquaintaces as well but the connection isn't that deep.
Age 16, Sarah. I liked Sarah, we used to talk for hours but I was very chubby so never realistically had any chance. She knew I liked her but she got together with my friend. Somehow I knew it was just immature teen love so I wasn't as heartbroken over her. I had bigger fish to fry- universities.
Age 21, Nicole. I still think this girl would have become my ideal mate. We were equally ambitious, liked the same nerdy stuff and also agreed on countless things where the rest of the world would disagree. We understood each other. When I asked her out, she wasn't able to respond with a yes or no initially but later on decided to turn me down. She gave me the usual "you're my best friend" sort of a reply. One and a half year ago, she got together with my male best friend. When I tried to cut contact abruptly she said she "doesn't want things to change and doesn't want to lose her best friend". She switched countries about a year ago and I'm trying to move there for better job opportunities. She recently sent me a note which read, "Platonic friendship >>> everything else. OP, I regret that we didn't have much time together after we met but now I hope you come here soon so that we can hangout like always". I have reduced contact (by a lot) ever since she got together with my friend but still such a message feels very weird to send to somebody who you know had feelings for you. Am I being weird or is it really borderline inappropriate considering our twisted love-triangle-ish friendship?
Age 23, Zoey. Now I never had romantic feelings for Zoey and neither did she for me. But she has confided in me countless times. Whether it be professional frustrations or family issues, she always shares it with me. Actually we knew each other for more than 4 years but became very close friends only later. This is the first friendship I had with the opposite gender which feels deep yet completely platonic. More importantly, she puts the same effort into the friendship that I put in. In hindsight, I can also see how horribly lopsided my friendship with Nicole was because I had romantic feelings for her. I am describing this platonic relationship because she thinks I am very dependable and mature since she shares deeply personal thoughts and feelings with me. This is something I sense from other women as well but the difference being that I do have a romantic interest in them.
Age 24, Anna. I met Anna through a mutual friend. I was not remotely head over heels for her but I did have a small crush. We hung out together as a group. She even mentioned that I have a good sense of humor one time when she had no reason to be nice. She was recently laid off (now found another job 3 months later) so she took it personally. I used to talk about that a lot with her and made her understand that it's not personal or a comment on her competency. Once we were alone, she said she's never met such a "mature, practical" guy before. I felt we had a couple moments here and there but in hindsight I might be mistaken. I noticed that she never initiated a conversation with me unless I started one. Last we talked was when she wanted some help in brushing up her resume and was negotiating a salary at her new job. I have stopped initiating conversation ever since because I am just tired of people not putting the same effort as I do in our relationships- whether it be romantic or platonic. Before somebody calls this out- yes I did flirt with her- on multiple occasions but she didn't flirt back.
Age 24, Kat. I met Kat very recently at work. I am not completely sure how I feel about her but I would definitely want to go on some dates to see how it goes. We usually meet in the office. I tried to start a personal WhatsApp text chain with her but she doesn't seem very much into it so decided to pause that until she wants to text as well. She also pointed out an instance where I asked her if she reached home when she had mentioned she was travelling alone in a cab and said not all guys do that and she liked it. That's something I do for other female friends of mine as well- even Zoey. Our city is not the safest at night, so I always try to make sure they reach their homes safe before I start going on with my life. She mentioned she feels very comfortable around me and also shared a very personal incident she had at the office with just me apparently because she asked me to keep it to myself. Why am I mentioning this? Well, because the exact same thing is repeating with yet another girl!
Every girl I meet shares the same opinion- dependable, mature nice guy but they never have any interest in me romantically speaking. I am starting to feel that these women are describing their "safe choice" in a partner like, these are the qualities they want in a man but only after he's got smoldering looks or some other quality I don't have.
I am scared that I would be setup in an arranged marriage situation in my 30s with a woman who's tired to being single and just want to settle down. She wouldn't actually be attracted to me and both of us would die living a mediocre life if not loveless, and in the worst case resenting each other.

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2023.03.26 11:28 Under48 How can you tell if you've fallen victim to an RCE exploit?

I recently purchased bo3 during the steam spring sale so I could experience zombies again, I was enjoying myself thoroughly for a few days, until this evening, when I encountered a hacker.
He was shooting a bunch of powerups onto the ground, spawned an undulating single-file line of Richtofens, etc. . I was enjoying the spectacle, as it all seemed pretty harmless, until at the end of it, a window appeared in the top left corner of the screen that said something around the lines of "this game will be nuked... courtesy of *hacker's IGN*". Then the screen briefly went black, and I was returned to the lobby.
This was extremely suspicious to me, so I started checking online and was horrified to read about RCE exploits that allowed hackers to gain remote access to your computer and obtain sensitive information. I'm worried that while he was distracting us with all the flashy godmode tricks, he may have been embedding such an RCE on my system.
I primarily use my computer to make music, write, and do schoolwork, I haven't done a backup in a couple of months, so if I had to wipe my computer, it would result in weeks and weeks of hard work being utterly destroyed, but I don't want to risk my accounts being compromised. Is there any way that I can reliably scan my files in order to see if I'm safe from an RCE? I feel like your basic antivirus scanner wouldn't cut it...

submitted by Under48 to blackops3 [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 10:31 Cultural-Tank-8685 I feel trapped...

I resigned from a stable job (sales) that I had for a decade because it felt like I needed a change in the environment. I like what I do, the people I work with are nice to me, I am familiar with every single thing in the office and it came to a point where I became uncomfortably comfortable. I was planning to take a rest for like 3 months before I work again but a job was offered 2 weeks after I resigned. I felt like I couldn't let it pass because it is a permanent remote job and the pay and benefits are great. So I took it. I had breakdowns on my 1st week because of the night shift so I decided to live with my parents the following week and everything felt better because I had support and my body adjusted. I never had the same breakdowns before so I was really devastated why this is happening to me. I felt like some weakshit newbie who just came out of college and having their 1st job. I wasn't understanding why my body and mind are betraying me. Now I am in my 4th week and I came to realize that I felt stuck. Another reason why I left my 10-year day job was because I wanted more freedom and getaway from being a corporate slave. I wanted to go whereever I want and visit my parents anytime. But now, yes I am working remotely, I can work anywhere I want but I feel stuck. It's like I have no other choice but to continue to work. It's like I eat and sleep and look at my phone and then work overnight. I felt like my freedom to enjoy life was taken away from me in an instant. I don't feel happy anymore even though I have so much love and support around me. I fee like if I leave my parents' house, I'm going to have breakdowns again, I can't risk that. I am not sure if remote work is really for me or that maybe I am just a people person. I just don't know what to feel anymore. People would say that I should give it time and let myself adjust but how can I do that when I missed the person I was. I miss the person who was after a long day, would just slouch in the couch and watch Netflix, eat unhealthy dinner and sleep and then work the next day and repeat. Now, I actually have more time, but why does it feel like I have nothing more to do? Help.

submitted by Cultural-Tank-8685 to MentalHealthPH [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 10:30 vdilumfljt 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦