Damn delicious pulled pork
AITA for confronting a friend using us
2023.03.26 14:41 ThrowAwayReck AITA for confronting a friend using us
We are all in college and I have two friends, let’s say one is Sam and the other is Jim. Me (21 F) and Sam (20 F) usually hangout and do work while Jim (18 M) does hobbies. Jim always complains about not having the funds for ANYTHING.
A couple of times Sam has talked about things to do for the day, Jim would chime in with a place but as of lately the places would be more on the expensive side.
My first witness to this behavior was all of us going to a Diner. I ordered something dodgy while Sam ordered something small, Jim on the other hand ordered something a bit high. Sam was also paying for Jim’s food cause he doesn’t have money right now.
While Jim is eating, he makes remarks about how much he hates the food. While Sam is visibly annoyed by the comments cause she’s paying for his food. Jim even after Sam expresses how annoyed she was and while proceeds to continue talking like this.
Just recently we went to a very nice restaurant that Jim brought up. Yet he proceeds to spin it as solely my idea. When it came to ordering, I ordered what I wanted knowing it would last me days to finish to-go.
Sam ordered only a salad because she’s a picky eater. Then Jim orders something on the high side. I realized Sam wasn’t eating her Salad. Sam tells me it wasn’t that good and would like to find food before going back on campus.
I look over at Jim telling him “we should pack our food to-go when it’s done cooking so we aren’t eating infront of Sam.” Jim completely ignores my comment because Sam said it was okay, knowing damn well it’s not.
I ordered something that was on the high side cause it’s for me. Nothing was discussed prior. He’s acting all hunky dory until the bill arrives for all three of us. When the bill arrives it’s unusally quiet and all I hear is this small, “hey ____, mind covering me for this one?”
I looked at him like he got 5 heads and say, “Jim.. what are you asking me right now? Cause this is the second time..”
Jim played dumb like I haven’t paid to cover for him due to him having no money before. While I’m seeing red cause of how he’s treating us numerous times without giving ANYONE a heads up, I just say I’ll pay.
We get in the car and Jim asks “Where are we going now?” Like buddy, did you just forget what your “best friend” asked for inside the restaurant. ———
Just extra info…
Jim has guilt tripped us for being the driver after we’ve paid for gas, but never see him pull up to a gas station. Saying, “would any of you be a doll and get me something from ____ since I drive you guys everywhere?”
Since I confronted him saying, “Today was rough and me, Sam, and Sam’s boyfriend want this type of shit to stop. Sam has put up with you yanking her money all the time out of kindess.”
Jim then says how he owes everyone an apology. The next day comes and I don’t get my money back, Jim doesn’t say a word to
AITA for confronting Jim about his lack of care when he’s not paying his way?
submitted by ThrowAwayReck to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
A couple of times Sam has talked about things to do for the day, Jim would chime in with a place but as of lately the places would be more on the expensive side.
My first witness to this behavior was all of us going to a Diner. I ordered something dodgy while Sam ordered something small, Jim on the other hand ordered something a bit high. Sam was also paying for Jim’s food cause he doesn’t have money right now.
While Jim is eating, he makes remarks about how much he hates the food. While Sam is visibly annoyed by the comments cause she’s paying for his food. Jim even after Sam expresses how annoyed she was and while proceeds to continue talking like this.
Just recently we went to a very nice restaurant that Jim brought up. Yet he proceeds to spin it as solely my idea. When it came to ordering, I ordered what I wanted knowing it would last me days to finish to-go.
Sam ordered only a salad because she’s a picky eater. Then Jim orders something on the high side. I realized Sam wasn’t eating her Salad. Sam tells me it wasn’t that good and would like to find food before going back on campus.
I look over at Jim telling him “we should pack our food to-go when it’s done cooking so we aren’t eating infront of Sam.” Jim completely ignores my comment because Sam said it was okay, knowing damn well it’s not.
I ordered something that was on the high side cause it’s for me. Nothing was discussed prior. He’s acting all hunky dory until the bill arrives for all three of us. When the bill arrives it’s unusally quiet and all I hear is this small, “hey ____, mind covering me for this one?”
I looked at him like he got 5 heads and say, “Jim.. what are you asking me right now? Cause this is the second time..”
Jim played dumb like I haven’t paid to cover for him due to him having no money before. While I’m seeing red cause of how he’s treating us numerous times without giving ANYONE a heads up, I just say I’ll pay.
We get in the car and Jim asks “Where are we going now?” Like buddy, did you just forget what your “best friend” asked for inside the restaurant. ———
Just extra info…
Jim has guilt tripped us for being the driver after we’ve paid for gas, but never see him pull up to a gas station. Saying, “would any of you be a doll and get me something from ____ since I drive you guys everywhere?”
Since I confronted him saying, “Today was rough and me, Sam, and Sam’s boyfriend want this type of shit to stop. Sam has put up with you yanking her money all the time out of kindess.”
Jim then says how he owes everyone an apology. The next day comes and I don’t get my money back, Jim doesn’t say a word to
AITA for confronting Jim about his lack of care when he’s not paying his way?
2023.03.26 14:19 kayenano The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer: Chapter 7
[<< First] [< Previous] [Next >]
Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 7: Royal Requisition
The draft horse responded well. Likely since he knew I liked his name.
'Apple'.
It was a simple reminder of my orchard, but just in case I ever forgot, I could reach into one of my many saddlebags and draw out a crisp, delicious red fruit. The horse whinnied in joy. No doubt it could smell the aroma tucked away. He'd be able to enjoy them too—after they were used as projectiles to incapacitate any miscreant or monster hoping to invite themselves onto our day's itinerary.
We certainly weren't going to outpace any adversaries, much less any knights that were sent to usher me back to my impending poverty.
This was no battle steed bred for unmatched pace. Rather, the only thing this draft horse would outrun was a cart. And that's if it was the one pulling it.
Still, I stroked the horse's outrageously shaggy mane and declared myself satisfied.
I was fond of horses. They galloped, plodded and stood still. The three functions I required a horse to do. They did not spill wine over my dresses, straighten the wrong strands of my hair or serve me carrots while trembling with tears and apologies. They had their jobs, and unlike my waiting staff, they did it with exceptional prowess.
Beside me, the barkeeper checked the saddle and bridle.
He went about his task efficiently, tugging at the clasps and ensuring the comfort of both horse and rider. My opinion of village barkeepers rose considerably.
“Do you often require a horse for your line of work?” I queried, noting the way he was carefully inspecting the position of the tack.
The barkeeper didn't look up.
“Not often,” he replied.
The man chose not to annotate. I nodded and looked ahead.
Even the fields around this insignificant village looked modestly impressive when beneath such a welcoming moonlit sky.
“There are provisions, but not for longer than a straight ride to Rolstein. You'd best stop by a village on your way. Your … borrowed money is in a separate pouch, as is my letter.”
“Excellent.”
“Both the letter and the horse is to be delivered to Marina, the local alchemist in Rolstein. You'll find her in her store, if it's still there.”
“If?”
“It's been some time.”
“And if this alchemist isn't available?”
“Then Apple will find his way back. He's a smart one.”
The horse gave a small snort. I took that to be agreement.
“All ready,” said the barkeeper, stepping back. “You've my horse and my night's earnings. Anything else you require before you make for the lowlands?”
“That'll be all. Thank you for your service.”
“And yours, young lady.”
I raised an eyebrow.
A deeply seated part of me wished to remind this commoner about the necessity of referring to proper titles, but I'd declared myself to be Juliette and nobody else.
If my masterful deception were to succeed, then I'd need to maintain the persona of a … well, not a commoner, obviously not, but perhaps some countryside lord's daughter? Or would that arouse too much suspicion?
A problem. I was clearly far too beautiful and well-heeled to be anything less than a duke's favoured child. And all of them were accounted for. Do I pose as somebody else? But who? How should I introduce myself? What questions could I reasonably consider likely to be asked?
For two long seconds, I considered this possible issue.
And then I tossed it to the wayside.
Really now! This is why the kingdom was in the state it was. Why think and stay still when I can think and move? I'd surely come up with an answer by the time I needed to provide one. In fact, why dedicate thoughts to mere possibilities at all?
I was supremely confident in my problem-solving skills. Therefore, once this actually became a problem, it was more efficient to simply come up with the answer there and then as required. My head was too precious to fill up with hypothetical concerns. I had real ones to consider.
Such as figuring out which road was the one south.
“Also, I've provided a map alongside the provisions,” said the barkeeper, his stoic exterior looking progressively more haggled. “It's incomplete, but will help where the roads most often disappear where the woodlands overgrow. Though I'm sure you're well acquainted with the land, there are many areas where even experienced hunters have found themselves suddenly lost.”
This ... This barkeeper!
Once I was back, I would promote him to the royal court! He was far too competent to be serving frothy liquor in a pub with customers that disgraced the floorboards beneath his tables. Why, he should be serving the finest fae wine to dignitaries! Those people only soiled themselves in their guest rooms!
However, that was in the future. Right now, I had to provide him with the only reward I could offer.
Asking his name. And maybe remembering it.
“I … I see! Thank you. Thank you most kindly. I'll use it well in the days ahead. I must say, you've been of considerable service. What is your name, Sir Barkeeper?”
“Thomas.”
I gestured at him to continue.
He paused, seeming to hesitate before doing so. An action I saw frequently. Those of lesser status were always fretful to reveal their family name, for fear of open admonishment.
In truth, this barkeeper had nothing to fear. I already ranked him above every nobleman to have ever visited the Royal Villa. Why, if I requisitioned their horse and crowns, they'd protest as if I was some brigand!
“Thomas Lainsfont.”
“... Lainsfont?”
The man nodded.
Curiously, I found myself eyeing some distant cloud as my mind was struck by a hint of recognition. How strange that this should be the case.
Lainsfont.
I didn't recognise it. Nor should I. I had far too many names to forget as it was before I needed to start including the names of commoners as well.
Even so, this one tickled my memory like a word on the tip of my tongue, even where most others failed.
“Thomas Lainsfont. Now why does that name sound … familiar?”
“I wouldn't know. I'm a barkeeper.”
I eyed him, for what was the very first time, and in doing so officially upgraded him from barkeeper to known person of use.
A man in his forties with the beginnings of grey hair in his stubble. Still, he boasted remarkably young eyes. And his stature. It wasn't lowered by the pouring of mead or the hauling kegs for inebriated louts.
Indeed, his frame remained remarkably tall. And proud.
Hmm.
Interesting.
“Were you ever in service to the kingdom, Mr. Lainsfont?”
The man raised an eyebrow.
“By ensuring the layabouts of this village have somewhere to sleep off their drunkenness, certainly.”
“... I see. Well, if you ever wish to hone your skills on better dressed clientele, I may have a prospective offer of employment for you as soon as I return. Note that better dressed does not mean more palatable, however. Just less … unidentifiable stains involved.”
“I'll look forward to it.”
“Good, good.”
Turning my attention from this known person of use, I gently tugged on the horse's reins. He set off on a slow trot. Eventually, he'd need to test his pace. Rolstein was some distance away, while our knights were closer. I intended to ride through the night and into the next day.
It was only then that I realised something very important.
… I hadn't used the restroom yet.
[<< First] [< Previous] [Next >]
submitted by kayenano to HFY [link] [comments]
Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 7: Royal Requisition
The draft horse responded well. Likely since he knew I liked his name.
'Apple'.
It was a simple reminder of my orchard, but just in case I ever forgot, I could reach into one of my many saddlebags and draw out a crisp, delicious red fruit. The horse whinnied in joy. No doubt it could smell the aroma tucked away. He'd be able to enjoy them too—after they were used as projectiles to incapacitate any miscreant or monster hoping to invite themselves onto our day's itinerary.
We certainly weren't going to outpace any adversaries, much less any knights that were sent to usher me back to my impending poverty.
This was no battle steed bred for unmatched pace. Rather, the only thing this draft horse would outrun was a cart. And that's if it was the one pulling it.
Still, I stroked the horse's outrageously shaggy mane and declared myself satisfied.
I was fond of horses. They galloped, plodded and stood still. The three functions I required a horse to do. They did not spill wine over my dresses, straighten the wrong strands of my hair or serve me carrots while trembling with tears and apologies. They had their jobs, and unlike my waiting staff, they did it with exceptional prowess.
Beside me, the barkeeper checked the saddle and bridle.
He went about his task efficiently, tugging at the clasps and ensuring the comfort of both horse and rider. My opinion of village barkeepers rose considerably.
“Do you often require a horse for your line of work?” I queried, noting the way he was carefully inspecting the position of the tack.
The barkeeper didn't look up.
“Not often,” he replied.
The man chose not to annotate. I nodded and looked ahead.
Even the fields around this insignificant village looked modestly impressive when beneath such a welcoming moonlit sky.
“There are provisions, but not for longer than a straight ride to Rolstein. You'd best stop by a village on your way. Your … borrowed money is in a separate pouch, as is my letter.”
“Excellent.”
“Both the letter and the horse is to be delivered to Marina, the local alchemist in Rolstein. You'll find her in her store, if it's still there.”
“If?”
“It's been some time.”
“And if this alchemist isn't available?”
“Then Apple will find his way back. He's a smart one.”
The horse gave a small snort. I took that to be agreement.
“All ready,” said the barkeeper, stepping back. “You've my horse and my night's earnings. Anything else you require before you make for the lowlands?”
“That'll be all. Thank you for your service.”
“And yours, young lady.”
I raised an eyebrow.
A deeply seated part of me wished to remind this commoner about the necessity of referring to proper titles, but I'd declared myself to be Juliette and nobody else.
If my masterful deception were to succeed, then I'd need to maintain the persona of a … well, not a commoner, obviously not, but perhaps some countryside lord's daughter? Or would that arouse too much suspicion?
A problem. I was clearly far too beautiful and well-heeled to be anything less than a duke's favoured child. And all of them were accounted for. Do I pose as somebody else? But who? How should I introduce myself? What questions could I reasonably consider likely to be asked?
For two long seconds, I considered this possible issue.
And then I tossed it to the wayside.
Really now! This is why the kingdom was in the state it was. Why think and stay still when I can think and move? I'd surely come up with an answer by the time I needed to provide one. In fact, why dedicate thoughts to mere possibilities at all?
I was supremely confident in my problem-solving skills. Therefore, once this actually became a problem, it was more efficient to simply come up with the answer there and then as required. My head was too precious to fill up with hypothetical concerns. I had real ones to consider.
Such as figuring out which road was the one south.
“Also, I've provided a map alongside the provisions,” said the barkeeper, his stoic exterior looking progressively more haggled. “It's incomplete, but will help where the roads most often disappear where the woodlands overgrow. Though I'm sure you're well acquainted with the land, there are many areas where even experienced hunters have found themselves suddenly lost.”
This ... This barkeeper!
Once I was back, I would promote him to the royal court! He was far too competent to be serving frothy liquor in a pub with customers that disgraced the floorboards beneath his tables. Why, he should be serving the finest fae wine to dignitaries! Those people only soiled themselves in their guest rooms!
However, that was in the future. Right now, I had to provide him with the only reward I could offer.
Asking his name. And maybe remembering it.
“I … I see! Thank you. Thank you most kindly. I'll use it well in the days ahead. I must say, you've been of considerable service. What is your name, Sir Barkeeper?”
“Thomas.”
I gestured at him to continue.
He paused, seeming to hesitate before doing so. An action I saw frequently. Those of lesser status were always fretful to reveal their family name, for fear of open admonishment.
In truth, this barkeeper had nothing to fear. I already ranked him above every nobleman to have ever visited the Royal Villa. Why, if I requisitioned their horse and crowns, they'd protest as if I was some brigand!
“Thomas Lainsfont.”
“... Lainsfont?”
The man nodded.
Curiously, I found myself eyeing some distant cloud as my mind was struck by a hint of recognition. How strange that this should be the case.
Lainsfont.
I didn't recognise it. Nor should I. I had far too many names to forget as it was before I needed to start including the names of commoners as well.
Even so, this one tickled my memory like a word on the tip of my tongue, even where most others failed.
“Thomas Lainsfont. Now why does that name sound … familiar?”
“I wouldn't know. I'm a barkeeper.”
I eyed him, for what was the very first time, and in doing so officially upgraded him from barkeeper to known person of use.
A man in his forties with the beginnings of grey hair in his stubble. Still, he boasted remarkably young eyes. And his stature. It wasn't lowered by the pouring of mead or the hauling kegs for inebriated louts.
Indeed, his frame remained remarkably tall. And proud.
Hmm.
Interesting.
“Were you ever in service to the kingdom, Mr. Lainsfont?”
The man raised an eyebrow.
“By ensuring the layabouts of this village have somewhere to sleep off their drunkenness, certainly.”
“... I see. Well, if you ever wish to hone your skills on better dressed clientele, I may have a prospective offer of employment for you as soon as I return. Note that better dressed does not mean more palatable, however. Just less … unidentifiable stains involved.”
“I'll look forward to it.”
“Good, good.”
Turning my attention from this known person of use, I gently tugged on the horse's reins. He set off on a slow trot. Eventually, he'd need to test his pace. Rolstein was some distance away, while our knights were closer. I intended to ride through the night and into the next day.
It was only then that I realised something very important.
… I hadn't used the restroom yet.
[<< First] [< Previous] [Next >]
2023.03.26 13:40 idk0897 Nmom threw a tantrum when I tried to set boundaries about visiting
I'm going to try and keep this short.
My nmom has been mentally (and sometimes physically) abusive my entire life (as most of them are). It finally got so bad I started cutting myself and finally attempted suicide at 28. Long story short-- through my own strength, I managed to save my own life and move to another country half a word away. We didn't speak for 2 years until I had to go back to the US for a short visit and it was a disaster. Nothing changed. They ended up kicking me out of their house (when I was pregnant) and I had to pay for a last minute hotel for the rest of my stay.
I went back to my now home country and had my daughter and unfortunately she started slowly creeping back into my life. "Can you send me a photo of the baby?" text every now and then, some sneaky calls every now and then and slowly she made herself more of an appearance in my life. If it were up to me I would never have talked to her again but she knows how to pull at my strings and I felt guilty pushing her out given the fact that she is my daughter's grandmother.
Long story short-- we haven't seen each other in 3 years and recently started talking about her visiting. Originally they were going to visit us for ONE WEEK MAXIMUM and then they would venture off and visit other regions around us but they were not going to hold up sitting in MY home however long she pleased. (She used to do this in the past. Come visit, torture me, not tell me when she was leaving. Stay for a month. Get upset when I would have to work and not take more time off to "spend with her.") I told her multiple times we had a rule where guests could only stay for 1 week. To be honest, I didn't want her staying at my place at all but due to her manipulation and a bit my husband's pushing (he's never met her) I caved.
Suddenly she decided she doesn't want to visit any other regions, she doesn't want to go anywhere else and she is going to stay at my home for two weeks (+traveling days. Realistically closer to 3) She literally didn't give me an option to say no.
With time and hearing from my dad how tense things are between them and how much they are fighting I started getting cold feet about letting her stay with us for two weeks. (I had never even agreed in the first place.)
This is MY home. This is OUR home. That I share with my family. She is so toxic. She is so scary, and I do NOT want her in my home for 2 weeks. This is my safe space. I am 35 years old. Who is she to determine how long she can stay AT MY HOUSE?!
I'm not even saying she can't stay at a house next door to mine for a month, I don't give a shit, but you cannot be at my SAFE SPACE for that long. I know this trip will be hell and I need to feel safe and my family and I need peace.
When I called her and broke the news, she lost her damn mind. She started screaming at me and turning violent, throwing a tantrum and crying. (Just as I expected that she would.) We hung up the phone, after my dad's insistence, and we didn't speak again for over two weeks.
Yesterday my dad called me and said they would not be coming. Basically, it's what she wants, or nothing.
Well, guess what I chose. Honestly? I am relieved. This will finally let me cut her off for good and let me be able to live my life again. I tried to maintain some sort of relationship for my daughter, but she is unable to respect my boundaries. I'm going to call her today to tell her that I am done. She is not to call me. She made her decision, and I am making mine.
I am freeing myself.
submitted by idk0897 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
My nmom has been mentally (and sometimes physically) abusive my entire life (as most of them are). It finally got so bad I started cutting myself and finally attempted suicide at 28. Long story short-- through my own strength, I managed to save my own life and move to another country half a word away. We didn't speak for 2 years until I had to go back to the US for a short visit and it was a disaster. Nothing changed. They ended up kicking me out of their house (when I was pregnant) and I had to pay for a last minute hotel for the rest of my stay.
I went back to my now home country and had my daughter and unfortunately she started slowly creeping back into my life. "Can you send me a photo of the baby?" text every now and then, some sneaky calls every now and then and slowly she made herself more of an appearance in my life. If it were up to me I would never have talked to her again but she knows how to pull at my strings and I felt guilty pushing her out given the fact that she is my daughter's grandmother.
Long story short-- we haven't seen each other in 3 years and recently started talking about her visiting. Originally they were going to visit us for ONE WEEK MAXIMUM and then they would venture off and visit other regions around us but they were not going to hold up sitting in MY home however long she pleased. (She used to do this in the past. Come visit, torture me, not tell me when she was leaving. Stay for a month. Get upset when I would have to work and not take more time off to "spend with her.") I told her multiple times we had a rule where guests could only stay for 1 week. To be honest, I didn't want her staying at my place at all but due to her manipulation and a bit my husband's pushing (he's never met her) I caved.
Suddenly she decided she doesn't want to visit any other regions, she doesn't want to go anywhere else and she is going to stay at my home for two weeks (+traveling days. Realistically closer to 3) She literally didn't give me an option to say no.
With time and hearing from my dad how tense things are between them and how much they are fighting I started getting cold feet about letting her stay with us for two weeks. (I had never even agreed in the first place.)
This is MY home. This is OUR home. That I share with my family. She is so toxic. She is so scary, and I do NOT want her in my home for 2 weeks. This is my safe space. I am 35 years old. Who is she to determine how long she can stay AT MY HOUSE?!
I'm not even saying she can't stay at a house next door to mine for a month, I don't give a shit, but you cannot be at my SAFE SPACE for that long. I know this trip will be hell and I need to feel safe and my family and I need peace.
When I called her and broke the news, she lost her damn mind. She started screaming at me and turning violent, throwing a tantrum and crying. (Just as I expected that she would.) We hung up the phone, after my dad's insistence, and we didn't speak again for over two weeks.
Yesterday my dad called me and said they would not be coming. Basically, it's what she wants, or nothing.
Well, guess what I chose. Honestly? I am relieved. This will finally let me cut her off for good and let me be able to live my life again. I tried to maintain some sort of relationship for my daughter, but she is unable to respect my boundaries. I'm going to call her today to tell her that I am done. She is not to call me. She made her decision, and I am making mine.
I am freeing myself.
2023.03.26 13:19 SimbaTheSavage8 I don't think I'm normal, and I'm scared (Part 2)
Part 1
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to think even.
Emily knows my biological mom?
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked.
Emily’s smile was as thin as ice. “I didn’t think you were ready. Now you are.”
“Ready for what?”
“You’ll know soon enough. Sleep tight, Skye. You have to go to school tomorrow.”
I couldn’t sleep. All I saw, in my nightmares and painted on the ceiling, was Alfie’s face. He whispered my name while I dreamed and wriggled into my happiest memories. I woke up screaming as his body twisted and swelled.
We will meet again. Alfie hissed through a series of clicks.
It was too quiet when I woke up the next morning. I was used to Emily yelling for me to wake up for school or my dad rushing to get dressed for work and brushing his teeth or the smell of burned bacon and pancakes and eggs down from the kitchen. Or at the very least Alfie ringing my ears off to tell me he was waiting too long outside.
But the silence whispered through the halls, sneaking into my room and tickling my heart. I rubbed my eyes and sat with my knees tucked against my chest, watching the sun rise. The sky was lit in gold as the darkness slithered away, but it was as if dawn had never arrived at all.
I got dressed and headed downstairs. At that point I realised exactly why the house was so quiet and my heart stopped cold.
Most of the stuff we owned was packed up into boxes; and anything that was too big was covered by translucent tarps. Emily and my dad were huddled together in the kitchen. They looked so lost, so hollow, like they’d just come back from Alfie’s funeral and had not stopped crying since.
“Hey morning,” I said tersely.
“Morning,” Emily said. She still wasn’t looking at me. “Did you sleep well or do you still look like a panda bear?”
“Ha ha.” I made myself some coffee. It tasted like muddy water.
Emily looked at the clock. “You better hurry up or you’ll be late for school, Sleepy Skye.”
“But—” The night before was still spinning in my mind. Questions bubbled to the back of my throat, dying on my lips.
Emily placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t worry, Skye. I’ll explain more later when the time is right.”
School felt like forever. All of my classes passed in a blur. Everyone avoided me like the plague, and whispered behind their hands when I walked past. I didn’t really care. I rested my head on my hands and wished Alfie was here. Whispering that everything would be okay.
Creak
When the last bell rang I plodded through the halls. The chatter around me had blended into a monotonous stream of nothing. I looked around me and saw Alfie’s face around me, in the couples making out near the lockers, in the teenagers huddled together like penguins.
My heart ached again.
Alfie…
My dad’s van was waiting for me at the school entrance, coughing up smoke like an old, retired dragon. It was jammed full of boxes and things wrapped in bubble paper. I was surprised it could even move a centimetre without something breaking inside.
“Hop in Skye,” said my dad, poking his head out of one window.
“Um, where are we going?”
“To my old place,” Emily explained, poking her head out of the other window. “I—we—thought it would be good for you, for…for the both of us.”
“After…after…y’know.”
Alfie died.
The wind was still once more, as if mourning over him in its deep grief too. I crumbled against the side of the van, letting hot tears stream down my cheeks.
Alfie…
Without a word more I climbed into the van and my dad sped off immediately. I gazed outside the window, watching country roads blend into billboards and highways, and let the van rock me into a soothing sleep.
“We’re here. Wake up, Sleepy Skye.”
Emily’s house, as it turned out, was a two-storey monster tucked away from the heart of the city. The paint was peeling away and the bricks underneath were slick with slime. Mold crawled between the bricks and stayed there, dying the house green. I turned away and nearly threw up.
“This way,” Emily said, climbing a set of stairs. It was really dark, and everything was covered in shadow. The only source of light was a small Gothic window that shone through the gloom in a weak white arm. Set at the side of the stairwell was a black iron door. I started towards it, but Emily glared at me, so I abandoned the door and followed her.
The second floor was surprisingly well-kept. The floors were swept and the walls clean of dust. Picture frames depicting bugs and scarabs hung onto the wall, polished until it shone. There was even a pot of tea on the table.
“Knock yourself out,” Emily said as she collapsed onto the couch. She closed her eyes.
“Make yourself at home.”
“It stinks,” I observed, wrinkling my nose.
In fact it was the worst stink I had ever smelled in my life. It tore through the walls and floors like it was made of paper and I gagged. I sprinted to the window, stuck my head out and breathed in relief.
Emily raised an eyebrow.
“There’s some…construction going on downstairs,” she explained. “We just got here, so bear with it a little longer, okay Skye?”
“Yeah,” I choked. My eyes were watering. If I could see the smell it would be a big black cloud hovering in the air, howling and shaking in its stinky fury.
“Can I explore the city? I need some fresh air.”
“Go ahead,” Emily said, turning away. “Just be back for dinner.”
I nodded. I had never sprinted out of my old house so fast in my life, rubbing my smarting eyes. Even at the distance I could smell it, and once again I felt like throwing up.
After some time I slowed to a walk and really started to look around. It wasn’t much of a city—and it also wasn’t much of a town—but somewhere in between. It was getting quite late in the day with the sun streaming slowly in from the west, but the town felt…alive in a way. Shopkeepers hollered their wares from the inside of their ornate walls, and people were strolling on the streets, their arms interlocked laughing and whistling.
I tried not to think of Alfie.
A couple of blocks away I saw a large diner, its neon sign beckoning me inside. Getting closer I could smell heaven: char-grilled meats, fresh cakes and cookies, and something else in a fryer or oven.
My stomach growled. I wiped off my drool with my sleeves.
Pushing the door open, I went in.
The diner was abuzz with chatter and laughter; people were toasting each other with glasses of beer and ale. Yet everything died the moment I came in. Time stood still; heads swiveled to look at me and a collective gasp rose from the frozen crowd. I felt like an animal in a zoo as I navigated through the chaos and found a table to sit.
“Don’t mind ‘em.”
The speaker was a living Popeye, with a big, floppy nose and bigger arms that bulged with muscles and fat and a tattoo of a beetle instead of an anchor. He was wearing a greasy, bloody apron and a cap that was too small for a nest of blonde hair.
“It’s been a while since we had anyone new around here. Thirteen years, in fact. Also, hold on…”
He squinted hard at me, his eyes moving from my head down to my legs.
“Are you Skye?”
Goosebumps pricked my skin once more. I looked outside and realised the wind had once again stood still.
“Yes! How do you know?”
The man opposite me thought for a moment, then shouted something to the kitchens. Then he sat down opposite me and grinned, revealing yellowed teeth.
“Your stepmom talks about you a lot. She adores you, you know.”
He cupped my head in his hands and brushed a lock of hair off my head. Tears welled in his eyes.
“You look a lot like your mom. Same face, same eyes.”
He knocked on my face like it was a piece of wood.
Click clock
“Rock solid too.”
My hair stood up on my skin as I stared straight into the eyes of this man who I just met.
“Y-you know my biological mom too?”
The man’s smile grew even wider. “Let’s just say…kind of.”
He extended his hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself earlier. Call me Mr Lancaster. I’m the owner here.”
“I’m pleased to meet you too,” I replied, shaking his hand.
“Boss? Everything is ready.”
One of the waiters skidded to a halt near our table. He was a handsome youth—freckles and curly red hair. He held out a huge plastic bag to me.
Mr Lancaster smiled at me in a way that made my heart melt.
“Fish and chips. And I threw in some strawberry milkshakes as well. It’s one of our best dishes on the menu. Emily is always going on and on about how crazy you are for ‘em.”
“Wow! Thank you Mr Lancaster!”
“It’s on the house too. A welcome gift from me. Tell your stepmom she doesn’t have to pay back a single cent.”
He glanced out at the darkening sky, sweat mopping his brow.
“You better be going now. It’s getting late. See you soon, Skye. You’re always welcome here.”
And with that, he practically shoved me out of the door.
The bell tinkled as I stumbled onto the street, nearly tripping over the food. It was really heavy, mind you. Like a thousand dumb-bells made out of solid gold. By the time I reached my flat my arms ached.
I dropped the takeaway on the floor and sat down on one of the stairs to rest. The sun had completely set at this point; long, thin shadows crawled across the wall to the corners. Soon I was plunged in darkness. I could barely see my hand in front of my face.
My vision suddenly cleared, and I realised I could see. Somehow. Dark shapes shifted and twisted before my eyes, but I could still make out details of every brick, every scratch on the stairs and wall. The takeaway sat untouched before me.
It was like looking through an extremely grainy CCTV.
BANG BANG BANG!
As the bangs echoed throughout the hallway I froze, the excitement of my discovery gone.
BANG BANG BANG!
SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE!
My name was shouted with great abandon, the call tinged with sorrow and pain. I inched closer and realised that it was coming from the iron door.
SKYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE!
Whoever was calling me was thrashing against the door, making the hinges shake. I backed away, my heart in my throat. All the hair on my skin was standing up straight.
BANG BANG BANG!
The stink slapped me in the face, making my nose itch. My eyes didn’t leave the door as I scrambled up the stairs to the main apartment, leaving everything in the dust.
It was only when I slammed the door behind me and sprinted down the hallway to my bedroom did I realise I forgot the takeaway still sitting at the bottom of the stairs.
Oh well I told myself, trying to calm my shaking heart. I can go back in a few minutes.
I’m sure Emily and Dad won’t mind.
The city had fallen asleep. The hustle and bustle seemed to have vanished with the last of the sun. The streets were illuminated faintly with lamps that shone like a halo. My room looked like it belonged in a horror movie.
I lay on my bed for a while, squeezing my eyes shut and listening to my heart beat. The screams had long died down, but I somehow heard them long and clear in my mind, as if blasted by an invisible loudspeaker.
SKYEEEEEEE!
Low and loud, like a foghorn from a ship lost at sea.
SKYEEEEEEEEE!
“Shut up!” I screamed, my eyes welling with tears. I curled up in a ball and squeezed my head with my pillow. Even then the screams rammed against the sides of my head, over and over again, and I was dizzy from the pain.
Eventually I got out of bed and wandered throughout the house, hoping for something to distract myself from the eternal noise. The apartment was shaded in the same grainy darkness, except for the dining-room, which was glowing invitingly like a crackling campfire. Something clanged and tinkled. Cutlery probably. Either Emily or my dad setting the table. My stomach grumbled. The smell from the diner was making me hungry.
I started towards the dining room but then I heard it. A strange chitter-chatter. Like crickets, even though we lived so far from nature.
It was coming from the pictures hanging on the wall.
I hadn’t paid much attention to them when I first came in, but now it was drawing me closer like a moth to a flame. The bugs chittered again, and their legs twisted and struggled, almost like it was dancing. Looking closer, I realised that all the pictures depicted the same figure. A woman in various poses with the head of a bug with too-large eyes. She was wearing a dress that shone like fire and was glaring at the camera.
“Mom?”
I clapped my hand over my mouth. I didn’t know where that came from. I looked nothing like her. I didn’t know her. It was my first time seeing her.
But Alfie…
No, no, no! I’m mad! I must be going mad! It’s the screams, I thought, the screams were driving me cuckoo! Making me think crazy thoughts!
I forced myself to look away and shove those thoughts out of my mind. I didn’t know what to believe anymore.
“Skye? Dinner time!”
Emily’s calls broke through the confusing mess in my head. I was grateful that she came to my rescue. Glancing back at the photo of my mum (no, she isn’t! How can I be related to…that?), I scurried down the hallway and into the dining room.
Emily had saved the takeaway.
It sat between us on the newly-dusted table. Emily pulled out foil containers and set one each before me and my dad.
“Mr Lancaster called about the fish and chips,” she explained. “He was delighted to have met you, Skye.”
She ruffled my hair, and chuckled as she handed me a strawberry milkshake. “But it looked like his little delivery girl got cold feet on her first order, eh?”
“Emily!” I groaned. I took a long sip and licked my lips. The milkshake was delicious. Rich, creamy and filled with enough sugar to make my insulin go straight into overdrive.
“Hey,” I noted, sitting down after a while. The pure sweetness of that drink was enough to make my head spin. “Mr Lancaster made some extra fish and chips.”
And it stank too. Almost as much as whatever is behind that iron door.
“Oh, that’s nothing,” Emily said quickly, sweeping the bag off the table and rushing it to the kitchen. “Mr Lancaster always makes me extra. He knows I’m always hungry after midnight!”
I chuckled nervously, feeling the weight of my worries lift off my shoulders. Emily did eat a lot after midnight. A couple of times I had spotted her sneaking to the living room with the television on and a bag of chips.
Yet this particular container stuck out like a sore thumb. Not just the smell, or how big it was compared to the others, but…but, was it me or was it glowing?
I buried that thought into the deepest recesses of my mind. No. I had enough wild and crazy thoughts and visions for one night.
Succumbing to them was not what Alfie would have wanted.
That was not what any of us would have wanted.
Once we had finished dinner, I helped to clear the table and wash the cutlery. Emily turned to me and said:
“I’ve got some things to do tonight. Take care, Skye, and take care of your dad.”
“He does not look well.”
Sick actually. Dad looked like he was going to throw up. He staggered to the couch and passed out on the leather. I couldn’t help but pity him. Fifty-six years old, and all that oil into the fish and chips was not doing his heart any good.
“I’ll look after him,” I promised.
“Good girl.” Emily gave me another thin smile. She pulled on a jacket—a black jacket with a golden rim—and gave me a kiss on my forehead.
“I won’t be long.”
Emily strode out of the house, taking the last box of fish and chips with her. There was something clinking in her pocket, like suits or armor banging together. And just as she stepped out of the front door, she pulled out that something from her pocket. I only saw it for a brief second, but it was enough to make my heart race.
It was a key. But not just any key.
This one was black. Like evil. Like ash. Like the iron door.
It smirked at me as it hid back in her pocket. A shiver ran up my spine.
“Emily, wait!”
“Is there a problem, Skye?”
“Yeah. I wanna ask you something.”
I took a deep, shaky breath. There was a lump in my throat and my heart was beating way too fast.
“The iron door on the first floor…what’s behind it?”
“It’s nothing, Skye,” Emily said. Her eyes darted to somewhere behind me and fixed on one of the bug women. “Just some of my old stuff, y’know? From before I met your dad?”
“Right…”
“Now I have to go. I’ll be late otherwise. I’ll see you later, okay Skye?”
I swallowed as I watched her leave. Uncertainty still sat tight in my stomach, wound up like a spring, and wouldn’t let go.
“Dad? You okay?”
No response. My dad was out like a light.
Then his eyes shot open.
I gulped.
They got bigger and bigger. I saw each individual vein popping out and weaving into each other like mini spider webs.
Then it bulged and swelled. His head enlarged to accommodate it.
Chills shot down my spine as I realised exactly what was going on.
“Dad?”
Click click click.
His lips split and burst into mandibles. I scrambled over and held his hand.
“Don’t do this to me. Don’t be like Alfie.”
I was crying. I was shaking. Oh god, I was shaking so bad it felt like I was in an earthquake.
Click click click
I scrambled over and held his hand. It only seemed to make it worse, however. I watched as it shrank and turned black and folded into itself.
“Dad! Fight it!”
He hunched over and coughed out so much more blood.
Ack ack ack
“DAD!”
His spine was curving over and hardening into a black shell. I dropped his hand and backed away into a corner, my face white.
Ack ack ack.
The floor was blooming. Grass spread thin like a carpet and tall trees grew. I saw red flowers explode onto new branches, like a bundle of fireworks.
My dad clicked and clacked, as if enjoying the new scenery.
No…
My skin was crawling. Literally. I looked down and saw bumps pulsing beneath the folds, marching along to my heartbeat. Then it broke and a cockroach popped out. It took a deep breath, bowed, clicked and clacked in the same rhythm as my dad’s—slow and steady, a pulse—
And…
And I SWEAR I heard the cockroach say:
“Your Highness.”
I screamed. It bounced off new grass and fresh flora.
I’m really going mad now.
I pinched myself, wondering if I was living in some kind of nightmare. But I wasn’t. It was as real as the still lights from the street lamps shining in through the window.
Click clack.
More cockroaches were spilling out from my skin like a dam left unchecked. My dad looked at me inquisitively. Cement was quickly turning into dirt.
Click clack
My thoughts were clambering over each other as I squatted, paralysed in my corner, watching the cockroaches with my mouth open. My dad—no longer human—crawled into the walls and towards me. Staring at the roaches and slowly reaching out to them. They squeaked and climbed over him.
This was too much. I did the only thing I could think of.
My phone was butter in my hands. My vision blurred and I kept on punching in the wrong numbers.
Thankfully, Emily answered the phone on the first ring.
I took a deep breath and screamed into the receiver. My voice was shaking so bad I was surprised I could say anything at all.
“EMILY! HELP!”
SK
submitted by SimbaTheSavage8 to nosleep [link] [comments]
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to think even.
Emily knows my biological mom?
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked.
Emily’s smile was as thin as ice. “I didn’t think you were ready. Now you are.”
“Ready for what?”
“You’ll know soon enough. Sleep tight, Skye. You have to go to school tomorrow.”
I couldn’t sleep. All I saw, in my nightmares and painted on the ceiling, was Alfie’s face. He whispered my name while I dreamed and wriggled into my happiest memories. I woke up screaming as his body twisted and swelled.
We will meet again. Alfie hissed through a series of clicks.
It was too quiet when I woke up the next morning. I was used to Emily yelling for me to wake up for school or my dad rushing to get dressed for work and brushing his teeth or the smell of burned bacon and pancakes and eggs down from the kitchen. Or at the very least Alfie ringing my ears off to tell me he was waiting too long outside.
But the silence whispered through the halls, sneaking into my room and tickling my heart. I rubbed my eyes and sat with my knees tucked against my chest, watching the sun rise. The sky was lit in gold as the darkness slithered away, but it was as if dawn had never arrived at all.
I got dressed and headed downstairs. At that point I realised exactly why the house was so quiet and my heart stopped cold.
Most of the stuff we owned was packed up into boxes; and anything that was too big was covered by translucent tarps. Emily and my dad were huddled together in the kitchen. They looked so lost, so hollow, like they’d just come back from Alfie’s funeral and had not stopped crying since.
“Hey morning,” I said tersely.
“Morning,” Emily said. She still wasn’t looking at me. “Did you sleep well or do you still look like a panda bear?”
“Ha ha.” I made myself some coffee. It tasted like muddy water.
Emily looked at the clock. “You better hurry up or you’ll be late for school, Sleepy Skye.”
“But—” The night before was still spinning in my mind. Questions bubbled to the back of my throat, dying on my lips.
Emily placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t worry, Skye. I’ll explain more later when the time is right.”
School felt like forever. All of my classes passed in a blur. Everyone avoided me like the plague, and whispered behind their hands when I walked past. I didn’t really care. I rested my head on my hands and wished Alfie was here. Whispering that everything would be okay.
Creak
When the last bell rang I plodded through the halls. The chatter around me had blended into a monotonous stream of nothing. I looked around me and saw Alfie’s face around me, in the couples making out near the lockers, in the teenagers huddled together like penguins.
My heart ached again.
Alfie…
My dad’s van was waiting for me at the school entrance, coughing up smoke like an old, retired dragon. It was jammed full of boxes and things wrapped in bubble paper. I was surprised it could even move a centimetre without something breaking inside.
“Hop in Skye,” said my dad, poking his head out of one window.
“Um, where are we going?”
“To my old place,” Emily explained, poking her head out of the other window. “I—we—thought it would be good for you, for…for the both of us.”
“After…after…y’know.”
Alfie died.
The wind was still once more, as if mourning over him in its deep grief too. I crumbled against the side of the van, letting hot tears stream down my cheeks.
Alfie…
Without a word more I climbed into the van and my dad sped off immediately. I gazed outside the window, watching country roads blend into billboards and highways, and let the van rock me into a soothing sleep.
Emily’s house, as it turned out, was a two-storey monster tucked away from the heart of the city. The paint was peeling away and the bricks underneath were slick with slime. Mold crawled between the bricks and stayed there, dying the house green. I turned away and nearly threw up.
“This way,” Emily said, climbing a set of stairs. It was really dark, and everything was covered in shadow. The only source of light was a small Gothic window that shone through the gloom in a weak white arm. Set at the side of the stairwell was a black iron door. I started towards it, but Emily glared at me, so I abandoned the door and followed her.
The second floor was surprisingly well-kept. The floors were swept and the walls clean of dust. Picture frames depicting bugs and scarabs hung onto the wall, polished until it shone. There was even a pot of tea on the table.
“Knock yourself out,” Emily said as she collapsed onto the couch. She closed her eyes.
“Make yourself at home.”
“It stinks,” I observed, wrinkling my nose.
In fact it was the worst stink I had ever smelled in my life. It tore through the walls and floors like it was made of paper and I gagged. I sprinted to the window, stuck my head out and breathed in relief.
Emily raised an eyebrow.
“There’s some…construction going on downstairs,” she explained. “We just got here, so bear with it a little longer, okay Skye?”
“Yeah,” I choked. My eyes were watering. If I could see the smell it would be a big black cloud hovering in the air, howling and shaking in its stinky fury.
“Can I explore the city? I need some fresh air.”
“Go ahead,” Emily said, turning away. “Just be back for dinner.”
I nodded. I had never sprinted out of my old house so fast in my life, rubbing my smarting eyes. Even at the distance I could smell it, and once again I felt like throwing up.
After some time I slowed to a walk and really started to look around. It wasn’t much of a city—and it also wasn’t much of a town—but somewhere in between. It was getting quite late in the day with the sun streaming slowly in from the west, but the town felt…alive in a way. Shopkeepers hollered their wares from the inside of their ornate walls, and people were strolling on the streets, their arms interlocked laughing and whistling.
I tried not to think of Alfie.
A couple of blocks away I saw a large diner, its neon sign beckoning me inside. Getting closer I could smell heaven: char-grilled meats, fresh cakes and cookies, and something else in a fryer or oven.
My stomach growled. I wiped off my drool with my sleeves.
Pushing the door open, I went in.
The diner was abuzz with chatter and laughter; people were toasting each other with glasses of beer and ale. Yet everything died the moment I came in. Time stood still; heads swiveled to look at me and a collective gasp rose from the frozen crowd. I felt like an animal in a zoo as I navigated through the chaos and found a table to sit.
“Don’t mind ‘em.”
The speaker was a living Popeye, with a big, floppy nose and bigger arms that bulged with muscles and fat and a tattoo of a beetle instead of an anchor. He was wearing a greasy, bloody apron and a cap that was too small for a nest of blonde hair.
“It’s been a while since we had anyone new around here. Thirteen years, in fact. Also, hold on…”
He squinted hard at me, his eyes moving from my head down to my legs.
“Are you Skye?”
Goosebumps pricked my skin once more. I looked outside and realised the wind had once again stood still.
“Yes! How do you know?”
The man opposite me thought for a moment, then shouted something to the kitchens. Then he sat down opposite me and grinned, revealing yellowed teeth.
“Your stepmom talks about you a lot. She adores you, you know.”
He cupped my head in his hands and brushed a lock of hair off my head. Tears welled in his eyes.
“You look a lot like your mom. Same face, same eyes.”
He knocked on my face like it was a piece of wood.
Click clock
“Rock solid too.”
My hair stood up on my skin as I stared straight into the eyes of this man who I just met.
“Y-you know my biological mom too?”
The man’s smile grew even wider. “Let’s just say…kind of.”
He extended his hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself earlier. Call me Mr Lancaster. I’m the owner here.”
“I’m pleased to meet you too,” I replied, shaking his hand.
“Boss? Everything is ready.”
One of the waiters skidded to a halt near our table. He was a handsome youth—freckles and curly red hair. He held out a huge plastic bag to me.
Mr Lancaster smiled at me in a way that made my heart melt.
“Fish and chips. And I threw in some strawberry milkshakes as well. It’s one of our best dishes on the menu. Emily is always going on and on about how crazy you are for ‘em.”
“Wow! Thank you Mr Lancaster!”
“It’s on the house too. A welcome gift from me. Tell your stepmom she doesn’t have to pay back a single cent.”
He glanced out at the darkening sky, sweat mopping his brow.
“You better be going now. It’s getting late. See you soon, Skye. You’re always welcome here.”
And with that, he practically shoved me out of the door.
The bell tinkled as I stumbled onto the street, nearly tripping over the food. It was really heavy, mind you. Like a thousand dumb-bells made out of solid gold. By the time I reached my flat my arms ached.
I dropped the takeaway on the floor and sat down on one of the stairs to rest. The sun had completely set at this point; long, thin shadows crawled across the wall to the corners. Soon I was plunged in darkness. I could barely see my hand in front of my face.
My vision suddenly cleared, and I realised I could see. Somehow. Dark shapes shifted and twisted before my eyes, but I could still make out details of every brick, every scratch on the stairs and wall. The takeaway sat untouched before me.
It was like looking through an extremely grainy CCTV.
BANG BANG BANG!
As the bangs echoed throughout the hallway I froze, the excitement of my discovery gone.
BANG BANG BANG!
SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE!
My name was shouted with great abandon, the call tinged with sorrow and pain. I inched closer and realised that it was coming from the iron door.
SKYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE!
Whoever was calling me was thrashing against the door, making the hinges shake. I backed away, my heart in my throat. All the hair on my skin was standing up straight.
BANG BANG BANG!
The stink slapped me in the face, making my nose itch. My eyes didn’t leave the door as I scrambled up the stairs to the main apartment, leaving everything in the dust.
It was only when I slammed the door behind me and sprinted down the hallway to my bedroom did I realise I forgot the takeaway still sitting at the bottom of the stairs.
Oh well I told myself, trying to calm my shaking heart. I can go back in a few minutes.
I’m sure Emily and Dad won’t mind.
The city had fallen asleep. The hustle and bustle seemed to have vanished with the last of the sun. The streets were illuminated faintly with lamps that shone like a halo. My room looked like it belonged in a horror movie.
I lay on my bed for a while, squeezing my eyes shut and listening to my heart beat. The screams had long died down, but I somehow heard them long and clear in my mind, as if blasted by an invisible loudspeaker.
SKYEEEEEEE!
Low and loud, like a foghorn from a ship lost at sea.
SKYEEEEEEEEE!
“Shut up!” I screamed, my eyes welling with tears. I curled up in a ball and squeezed my head with my pillow. Even then the screams rammed against the sides of my head, over and over again, and I was dizzy from the pain.
Eventually I got out of bed and wandered throughout the house, hoping for something to distract myself from the eternal noise. The apartment was shaded in the same grainy darkness, except for the dining-room, which was glowing invitingly like a crackling campfire. Something clanged and tinkled. Cutlery probably. Either Emily or my dad setting the table. My stomach grumbled. The smell from the diner was making me hungry.
I started towards the dining room but then I heard it. A strange chitter-chatter. Like crickets, even though we lived so far from nature.
It was coming from the pictures hanging on the wall.
I hadn’t paid much attention to them when I first came in, but now it was drawing me closer like a moth to a flame. The bugs chittered again, and their legs twisted and struggled, almost like it was dancing. Looking closer, I realised that all the pictures depicted the same figure. A woman in various poses with the head of a bug with too-large eyes. She was wearing a dress that shone like fire and was glaring at the camera.
“Mom?”
I clapped my hand over my mouth. I didn’t know where that came from. I looked nothing like her. I didn’t know her. It was my first time seeing her.
But Alfie…
No, no, no! I’m mad! I must be going mad! It’s the screams, I thought, the screams were driving me cuckoo! Making me think crazy thoughts!
I forced myself to look away and shove those thoughts out of my mind. I didn’t know what to believe anymore.
“Skye? Dinner time!”
Emily’s calls broke through the confusing mess in my head. I was grateful that she came to my rescue. Glancing back at the photo of my mum (no, she isn’t! How can I be related to…that?), I scurried down the hallway and into the dining room.
It sat between us on the newly-dusted table. Emily pulled out foil containers and set one each before me and my dad.
“Mr Lancaster called about the fish and chips,” she explained. “He was delighted to have met you, Skye.”
She ruffled my hair, and chuckled as she handed me a strawberry milkshake. “But it looked like his little delivery girl got cold feet on her first order, eh?”
“Emily!” I groaned. I took a long sip and licked my lips. The milkshake was delicious. Rich, creamy and filled with enough sugar to make my insulin go straight into overdrive.
“Hey,” I noted, sitting down after a while. The pure sweetness of that drink was enough to make my head spin. “Mr Lancaster made some extra fish and chips.”
And it stank too. Almost as much as whatever is behind that iron door.
“Oh, that’s nothing,” Emily said quickly, sweeping the bag off the table and rushing it to the kitchen. “Mr Lancaster always makes me extra. He knows I’m always hungry after midnight!”
I chuckled nervously, feeling the weight of my worries lift off my shoulders. Emily did eat a lot after midnight. A couple of times I had spotted her sneaking to the living room with the television on and a bag of chips.
Yet this particular container stuck out like a sore thumb. Not just the smell, or how big it was compared to the others, but…but, was it me or was it glowing?
I buried that thought into the deepest recesses of my mind. No. I had enough wild and crazy thoughts and visions for one night.
Succumbing to them was not what Alfie would have wanted.
That was not what any of us would have wanted.
Once we had finished dinner, I helped to clear the table and wash the cutlery. Emily turned to me and said:
“I’ve got some things to do tonight. Take care, Skye, and take care of your dad.”
“He does not look well.”
Sick actually. Dad looked like he was going to throw up. He staggered to the couch and passed out on the leather. I couldn’t help but pity him. Fifty-six years old, and all that oil into the fish and chips was not doing his heart any good.
“I’ll look after him,” I promised.
“Good girl.” Emily gave me another thin smile. She pulled on a jacket—a black jacket with a golden rim—and gave me a kiss on my forehead.
“I won’t be long.”
Emily strode out of the house, taking the last box of fish and chips with her. There was something clinking in her pocket, like suits or armor banging together. And just as she stepped out of the front door, she pulled out that something from her pocket. I only saw it for a brief second, but it was enough to make my heart race.
It was a key. But not just any key.
This one was black. Like evil. Like ash. Like the iron door.
It smirked at me as it hid back in her pocket. A shiver ran up my spine.
“Emily, wait!”
“Is there a problem, Skye?”
“Yeah. I wanna ask you something.”
I took a deep, shaky breath. There was a lump in my throat and my heart was beating way too fast.
“The iron door on the first floor…what’s behind it?”
“It’s nothing, Skye,” Emily said. Her eyes darted to somewhere behind me and fixed on one of the bug women. “Just some of my old stuff, y’know? From before I met your dad?”
“Right…”
“Now I have to go. I’ll be late otherwise. I’ll see you later, okay Skye?”
I swallowed as I watched her leave. Uncertainty still sat tight in my stomach, wound up like a spring, and wouldn’t let go.
“Dad? You okay?”
No response. My dad was out like a light.
Then his eyes shot open.
I gulped.
They got bigger and bigger. I saw each individual vein popping out and weaving into each other like mini spider webs.
Then it bulged and swelled. His head enlarged to accommodate it.
Chills shot down my spine as I realised exactly what was going on.
“Dad?”
Click click click.
His lips split and burst into mandibles. I scrambled over and held his hand.
“Don’t do this to me. Don’t be like Alfie.”
I was crying. I was shaking. Oh god, I was shaking so bad it felt like I was in an earthquake.
Click click click
I scrambled over and held his hand. It only seemed to make it worse, however. I watched as it shrank and turned black and folded into itself.
“Dad! Fight it!”
He hunched over and coughed out so much more blood.
Ack ack ack
“DAD!”
His spine was curving over and hardening into a black shell. I dropped his hand and backed away into a corner, my face white.
Ack ack ack.
The floor was blooming. Grass spread thin like a carpet and tall trees grew. I saw red flowers explode onto new branches, like a bundle of fireworks.
My dad clicked and clacked, as if enjoying the new scenery.
No…
My skin was crawling. Literally. I looked down and saw bumps pulsing beneath the folds, marching along to my heartbeat. Then it broke and a cockroach popped out. It took a deep breath, bowed, clicked and clacked in the same rhythm as my dad’s—slow and steady, a pulse—
And…
And I SWEAR I heard the cockroach say:
“Your Highness.”
I screamed. It bounced off new grass and fresh flora.
I’m really going mad now.
I pinched myself, wondering if I was living in some kind of nightmare. But I wasn’t. It was as real as the still lights from the street lamps shining in through the window.
Click clack.
More cockroaches were spilling out from my skin like a dam left unchecked. My dad looked at me inquisitively. Cement was quickly turning into dirt.
Click clack
My thoughts were clambering over each other as I squatted, paralysed in my corner, watching the cockroaches with my mouth open. My dad—no longer human—crawled into the walls and towards me. Staring at the roaches and slowly reaching out to them. They squeaked and climbed over him.
This was too much. I did the only thing I could think of.
My phone was butter in my hands. My vision blurred and I kept on punching in the wrong numbers.
Thankfully, Emily answered the phone on the first ring.
I took a deep breath and screamed into the receiver. My voice was shaking so bad I was surprised I could say anything at all.
“EMILY! HELP!”
SK
2023.03.26 13:18 ThrowAway----_- Should I have a discussion with my MIL about not wanting her to move in?
Okay so im just going to clarify a few things, im 27 and still dating a wonderful guy, lets call him Tim, hes 24, so we aren't married, however we have been talking about wanting to get married in the future and owning a home together.
His mother, lets call her Jan, is 64, and she has this delusional idea that we are all going to stay as one big family unit and support eachother financially, because in her opinion "this has worked for thousands for years in Asia, so why cant we do it too?" Btw we are Italian-Australian, so yes some people in our ITALIAN culture do live with parents, I personally do not. I identify more with my Australian side. I want to have my own home with my partner and future kids, thats it. Call me selfish, I dont actually care. I know what I want, and thats final. IF a parent becomes very old and needs to be taken care of, only then will I be okay with them living with us. I've been extremely open to Tim about this from the moment we started dating, he said that he's okay with that. If he doesn't like it, then he's free to dump me and find someone who is okay with still living with his mum. I've made it crystal clear.
His mother is a hoarder, and im talking....hoards everything and anything. Jan earns decent money from her job but spends it all on usless stuff that just piles up and never gets used. She owns 2 fridges because her first fridge is full of expired food that she just refuses to clean out. She owns so many pets (4 cats, 3 dogs, 4 giant lizards and heaps of mice). The entire house STINKS. She rents a different house every year and was never able to own a home. She has this grand idea that her son will provide a house for her. Jan has been drilling the "family unit" idea in my head since the beginning of our relationship, and it only angers me more and more. I tell her that Tim and I dont have to rush to buy a house because we are still young and allowed to live our life, just like she got to live hers. She left home at 17, and yes her family life was rough, but it not Tim's responsibility to provide a house for her.
I told him that I dont want her living with us if we get a house, unless if shes absolutely unable to care for herself ONLY THEN can she live with us, and her animals are not welcomed (im severely allergic to animals and i refuse to take antihistamines everyday in my ow home). He agreed. He said that Jan will most likely threaten to off-herself if we dont let her move in immediately, I told him "i literally dont give a damn, i will not succumb to emotional manipulation like that, i will make sure she gets checked-up on by mental health professionals if she pulls that stunt with me".
I just know her. She will use depression, loneliness, su**ide, financial instability, ANYTHING to move in with us with we ever do own a home.
Should I, along with Tim, sit her down and discuss these future theoretical plans with her, and mention that we want to live on our own without any parents because shes hoarder and because i dont want animals? Or is that not a good idea since we dont even actually own a home yet? Tim has mentioned to Jan in the past that me and him want to move interstate together, to which she replied with "which city? because if its Brisbane then I'll come too". And yes, we were thinking of Brisbane or Melbourne, and now i wanna go to Melbourne to deliberately not have her move with us.
I just really, reallllllyyyyy want my OWN space with no animals, no hoarding, very minimal things (i grew up with very minimalistic, super clean parents) and I dont want my house to be disturbed with her constant nagging and god-awful attitude (she has bipolar). Shes so extremily nit-picky and although she treats me well, I genuinely have this resentment towards her growing because of how often she lectures us about the "family-unit" idea.
submitted by ThrowAway----_- to motherinlawsfromhell [link] [comments]
His mother, lets call her Jan, is 64, and she has this delusional idea that we are all going to stay as one big family unit and support eachother financially, because in her opinion "this has worked for thousands for years in Asia, so why cant we do it too?" Btw we are Italian-Australian, so yes some people in our ITALIAN culture do live with parents, I personally do not. I identify more with my Australian side. I want to have my own home with my partner and future kids, thats it. Call me selfish, I dont actually care. I know what I want, and thats final. IF a parent becomes very old and needs to be taken care of, only then will I be okay with them living with us. I've been extremely open to Tim about this from the moment we started dating, he said that he's okay with that. If he doesn't like it, then he's free to dump me and find someone who is okay with still living with his mum. I've made it crystal clear.
His mother is a hoarder, and im talking....hoards everything and anything. Jan earns decent money from her job but spends it all on usless stuff that just piles up and never gets used. She owns 2 fridges because her first fridge is full of expired food that she just refuses to clean out. She owns so many pets (4 cats, 3 dogs, 4 giant lizards and heaps of mice). The entire house STINKS. She rents a different house every year and was never able to own a home. She has this grand idea that her son will provide a house for her. Jan has been drilling the "family unit" idea in my head since the beginning of our relationship, and it only angers me more and more. I tell her that Tim and I dont have to rush to buy a house because we are still young and allowed to live our life, just like she got to live hers. She left home at 17, and yes her family life was rough, but it not Tim's responsibility to provide a house for her.
I told him that I dont want her living with us if we get a house, unless if shes absolutely unable to care for herself ONLY THEN can she live with us, and her animals are not welcomed (im severely allergic to animals and i refuse to take antihistamines everyday in my ow home). He agreed. He said that Jan will most likely threaten to off-herself if we dont let her move in immediately, I told him "i literally dont give a damn, i will not succumb to emotional manipulation like that, i will make sure she gets checked-up on by mental health professionals if she pulls that stunt with me".
I just know her. She will use depression, loneliness, su**ide, financial instability, ANYTHING to move in with us with we ever do own a home.
Should I, along with Tim, sit her down and discuss these future theoretical plans with her, and mention that we want to live on our own without any parents because shes hoarder and because i dont want animals? Or is that not a good idea since we dont even actually own a home yet? Tim has mentioned to Jan in the past that me and him want to move interstate together, to which she replied with "which city? because if its Brisbane then I'll come too". And yes, we were thinking of Brisbane or Melbourne, and now i wanna go to Melbourne to deliberately not have her move with us.
I just really, reallllllyyyyy want my OWN space with no animals, no hoarding, very minimal things (i grew up with very minimalistic, super clean parents) and I dont want my house to be disturbed with her constant nagging and god-awful attitude (she has bipolar). Shes so extremily nit-picky and although she treats me well, I genuinely have this resentment towards her growing because of how often she lectures us about the "family-unit" idea.
2023.03.26 13:03 OperationCriticalHit I (20 F) got to see what my family looked like today and I’m in tears.
So I grew up in a pretty old family. I’m 20, but my dad is 78 and my mom is 59. My parents aren’t very involved with their families, especially since their parents died. My dads parents had already been gone from over 20+ years by the time I was born, and my moms dad passed a year after I was born, and with my grandma passing away in 2019 (and at 100, you go Grandma!), but we live across the country and could not afford to visit my Grandma since 2003. Point is- I knew almost literally nothing about my family and that annoyed me. I’ve always wanted a big family dynamic, where we can count on each other.
Well, I’ve been doing family history research for a while, and after living in a crowed city for two years, I finally got around to seeing my aunt and uncle after I was pretty sure it was safe to do so, cause plague. My uncle is 84, and he has a lot of family photos. Originally I was looking for a photo of my 2nd Great Grandma, she was Mexican, she the reason why we have a tradition of J names in our family, and from what I gather her story is traumatic. 2nd great grandpa kidnapped her ‘legally’ because he was rich white guy and thought he could strut his ugly rich people boots into Mexico, point to a preteen, and marry her. That’s the more family friendly version. Ive been through trauma and her story really resonated with me, so I’ve been trying to find information on her. I’ve been looking for a photo of this woman for 7 years; and my uncle had one!
Well I went over and I got to see some amazing photos. My grandfather was a well respected man, and after learning about him I realized that him and I would have been best friends. He loved history, wrote poetry, he was a man in power who made his dental practice affordable because he didn’t like that people would have to suffer money wise if they wanted to take care of their teeth. He was a community man who would clean gravestones when he went to a grave yard. There was no dentist in his hometown, so when he visit his parents, he pulled teeth for people for dirt cheep out of the houses bathroom. (Also for preface on how much older he is from me, he was born 1895. I am aware he would not be alive now even if he didn’t die in the 80’s, but I still feel cheated.) He was someone, who I see myself in, and I feel much closer to him than I did. I always envied my older half siblings (Dads side) for getting to meet my grandparents. I always felt left out because I never got those experiences. No one in my family is as passionate about those values as I am, and just being able to learn about him, and how well we could have gotten along, makes me feel so much less alone.
I got photos of my beautiful grandma, my great grandmas & grandpas, and my 2nd great grandma. I heard stories about how wonderful, or awful, or kind, or smart they were. I wasn’t able to learn much about my 2nd great grandma, but I did learn that her son, my great grandpa was a strict yet kind man. I got some amazing stories and even got him and my great grandmas obituaries from the original newspapers. Based on what my aunt and uncle told me about him, I assume she raised him well. I learnt so much. I got given some awesome photos of my dad growing up. I got to read a poem written by my granddad. I got confirmation that he would be proud of me. It warms my heart, and I’ve been sobbing absolute happy tears for hours.
On top of that, I got to try my grandma’s recipe for dinner rolls and they are delicious. I feel so included guys!!!
submitted by OperationCriticalHit to offmychest [link] [comments]
Well, I’ve been doing family history research for a while, and after living in a crowed city for two years, I finally got around to seeing my aunt and uncle after I was pretty sure it was safe to do so, cause plague. My uncle is 84, and he has a lot of family photos. Originally I was looking for a photo of my 2nd Great Grandma, she was Mexican, she the reason why we have a tradition of J names in our family, and from what I gather her story is traumatic. 2nd great grandpa kidnapped her ‘legally’ because he was rich white guy and thought he could strut his ugly rich people boots into Mexico, point to a preteen, and marry her. That’s the more family friendly version. Ive been through trauma and her story really resonated with me, so I’ve been trying to find information on her. I’ve been looking for a photo of this woman for 7 years; and my uncle had one!
Well I went over and I got to see some amazing photos. My grandfather was a well respected man, and after learning about him I realized that him and I would have been best friends. He loved history, wrote poetry, he was a man in power who made his dental practice affordable because he didn’t like that people would have to suffer money wise if they wanted to take care of their teeth. He was a community man who would clean gravestones when he went to a grave yard. There was no dentist in his hometown, so when he visit his parents, he pulled teeth for people for dirt cheep out of the houses bathroom. (Also for preface on how much older he is from me, he was born 1895. I am aware he would not be alive now even if he didn’t die in the 80’s, but I still feel cheated.) He was someone, who I see myself in, and I feel much closer to him than I did. I always envied my older half siblings (Dads side) for getting to meet my grandparents. I always felt left out because I never got those experiences. No one in my family is as passionate about those values as I am, and just being able to learn about him, and how well we could have gotten along, makes me feel so much less alone.
I got photos of my beautiful grandma, my great grandmas & grandpas, and my 2nd great grandma. I heard stories about how wonderful, or awful, or kind, or smart they were. I wasn’t able to learn much about my 2nd great grandma, but I did learn that her son, my great grandpa was a strict yet kind man. I got some amazing stories and even got him and my great grandmas obituaries from the original newspapers. Based on what my aunt and uncle told me about him, I assume she raised him well. I learnt so much. I got given some awesome photos of my dad growing up. I got to read a poem written by my granddad. I got confirmation that he would be proud of me. It warms my heart, and I’ve been sobbing absolute happy tears for hours.
On top of that, I got to try my grandma’s recipe for dinner rolls and they are delicious. I feel so included guys!!!
2023.03.26 12:58 deepvoicednerd [Motorsport] "They said to me, if you Peter Brock announce this car at the end of this week, we will withdraw all support. Well, I’ve gone ahead, and I’ve announced it.” How a box of crystals brought down Australia’s number one race team and its driver. The rise and fall of the Holden Dealer Team.
This post was originally a reply to a question on one of my other posts here, but it really deserves its own more detailed post simply because even over 30 years later it just makes me and a lot of others go “Eeh? How did that actually happen?”
When it comes to sporting rivalries in Australia, Ford vs Holden is one of the longest. Today, it’s hard to believe with Ford no longer making cars in Australia and Holden no longer even existing but there was a time were what car Australians drove really mattered. Were you a Holden family with Monaro’s, Torana’s and Commodores or a Ford family with a Falcon in your driveway? It was one or the other. No in between. There are stories of Holden-driving fathers refusing to allow their daughters to date boys simply because their dads drove Fords. The battles were fought on every level: advertising, dealers and from the mid-1960’s on the racetrack. And that’s were our story kicks off…
It's 1967 and for the first time, an Australian-made car has won the Bathurst 500. A Ford Falcon XR driven by Harry Firth and Fred Gibson wins the race and Ford Australia are ecstatic. A phrase commonly used at the time is “Win on Sunday, sell on Monday.” Winning Bathurst was a big deal and Ford reaped the benefits with sales and foot traffic into their dealerships. Crucially it really hurt their main rivals Holden.
For 1968 Holden wanted revenge on the racetrack. They had a great car in which to get it too, the Monaro. There was however, a bit of a problem. You see Holden despite being proudly Australian was owned by General Motors and at the time, GM had a blanket ban on their manufacturers going motor racing.
Pretty much everyone within Holden wanted to go racing though, so the Holden heavies looked for a loophole that would get them on the Bathurst grid and they quickly found one. They realised that there was nothing to stop them giving some money to their dealers and telling the dealers to then give said money to an idependant race team and voila! You’ve got yourself an all-but-official factory race team that gets around the GM ban. The man at the head of this team is David McKay, Australia’s first touring car champion. He’s ready to take on Ford’s leader Harry Firth.
For the 1968 Bathurst 500, the Holden vs Ford battlelines are drawn. And Holden gets its revenge as Firth’s Ford’s flounder. Strangely though, it’s a privateer Monaro that takes the chequered flag first. McKay brings his factory-but-not-really-factory-just-in-case-Detroit-gets-wind-of-this Monaro’s home second, third and fifth. And then he made an error. He failed to protest against the winning Monaro that some alleged ran with an illegal brake system. Holden’s heavies weren’t happy at all. They were in it to win with their own cars not their customers. And then for McKay, things got worse.
After Bathurst, Holden and Ford would face off again in the 1968 London to Sydney Marathon, the most epic car race ever staged. Almost 100 teams from all over the world took part but Australia was only focused on Firth & McKay. They were evenly matched. 3 Falcons for Firth and 3 Monaro’s for McKay. And just like Bathurst, neither of them won.
But in the Ford vs Holden battle, Ford came out most definitely on top, finishing 3rd, 6th and 8th and taking the best performing team award for their troubles. McKay’s Monaro’s came home 12th, 14th and McKay’s lead car DNF’ed after rolling in the Australian outback. And that was the last straw for Holden. McKay had failed them.
Ford Australia meantime was going through a restructure. The restructure involved refreshing their racing team. And incredibly, that meant showing Harry Firth the door. Big Mistake. Huge. You’d think after his marathon efforts, Ford would be pretty chuffed, but they got rid of him. Holden pounced. Within a fortnight, Harry was a Holden man. All his mechanics and engineers went with him. This was the start of what became the Holden Dealer Team.
Despite nicking all of Ford’s mechanics and tech know-how, Firth failed to poach their drivers. That forced him to go searching for young talent. He eventually found Colin Bond a promising rally and circuit driver and then noticed a driver of a little blue Austin A30 that was giving almost every competitor a complete belting. His name? Peter Brock.
For Bathurst 1969, Firth did what McKay couldn’t: Deliver the Holden factory a Bathurst win. Bond won, Brock was third and just behind was Ford’s new lead driver. He was an ex-pat Canadian who looked like an angry maths teacher. His name? Allan Moffat. A rivalry had just started.
For 1970 & ’71, Moffat dominated the Bathurst enduro in the mighty GTHO Falcon but in 1972, Brock struck back for Holden. That win made him the golden boy of Australian motorsport. Brock wore the white hat: hippy-handsome, a great driver and a man of the people, driving the Australian car. Moffat wore the black hat: cranky, methodical, withdrawn and representing the American manufacturer.
For 1973 the ante was turned up. The Bathurst race went from imperial to metric. 500 miles became 1000 kilometres. The regulations changed from Improved Production (stock-standard production cars with minimal upgrades. Some were even road registered) to the more liberal Group C Touring Cars. Moffat cleaned up in ’73 but it wasn’t all doom and gloom for Holden when at the end of the year, Ford pulled the plug on its factory race team. From 1974 Moffat was forced to go it alone in his own team with only back-door support from Ford.
But Holden wasn’t without its troubles either. At the end of 1974, Brock had a blow-up with Firth and left the HDT. Some say Firth fired him. Others say Brock grew tired of Firth’s iron fist approach to running the team and dipped out.
In two years both the white knight and the black knight were out on their own. And yet…they excelled. Despite driving a shoestring budget Holden, Brock won Bathurst in 1975. Moffat was a constant front-runner. The back-door support from Ford helped. The Holden Dealer Team though remained THE Team. Firth still ran it efficiently and he still had Colin Bond. Like Brock though, Bond was growing tired of Firth. He was paid next to nothing for his driving and expected to be on spanner duty in the workshop. So when Allan Moffat made him an offer at the end of 1976, Colin accepted.
In 1977, to quote Moffat: “We blew the doors off Holden”. With the HDT now minus their two star drivers, Holden floundered on the track. Moffat’s Ford team was well-backed and well-organised and as a result, Moffat in Falcon #1 and Bond in Falcon #2 dominated the year. The crowning glory was their 1-2 formation finish at Bathurst. Ford got an insane amount of mileage out of it. Nearly 50 years later, it remains one of the most iconic images of Australian motorsport. At the end of the year an exasperated Holden official approached Moffat and in desperation asked: “What can we do to beat you?”
Moffat shrugged and replied “Simple. Re-employ Brock”
With Harry Firth retiring, that’s exactly what they did. For 1978, Brock was back as a driver for the HDT. Moffat’s honest reply to that Holden official came back to bite him in the clacker. With money from Ford drying up, Moffat began to flounder and Brock dominated for the next two years, culminating in the 1979 Bathurst 1000 were he won by a whopping 6 laps and broke the lap record on the final lap. What a show off.
But then right after that epic performance…Holden pulled the plug. They were done.
Brock however refused to give up. He assumed ownership of the team and over Christmas, embarked on a whistle-stop tour of the Holden dealerships offering them a deal. The deal he offered them was a tricked-up road-going Holden Commodore built by the HDT. Any Holden dealership who helped fund the race team got exclusive access to sell the road-going car. The campaign was a success. Over 100 dealerships signed up putting the ‘Dealer’ right back into the Holden Dealer Team and HDT Special Vehicles was born.
In the early 1980’s, the HDT lead by Brock was a juggernaut both on and off the racetrack. Bathurst victory after Bathurst victory and the road car business boomed. Initially, Holden were reluctant but seeing the demand, they supported the program. By 1981 the first HDT road cars were delivered to the clamouring dealers. As Brock’s number one lieutenant and teammate John Harvey put it “Demand was so high, we couldn’t make them quick enough!”
The Group C Touring Car era ended at the end of 1984 and the Holden Dealer Team looked every bit like champions. Multiple Bathurst and other race wins, a road car arm that was fast becoming a great Australian success story and the best and most popular driver in the country at the head of it.
What next?
For 1985, Australia adopted international Group A Touring Car regulations. With every touring car series all over the world running to these regulations, you could take a car all over the world and race it. Pretty cool right? Brock certainly thought so and started planning...
But before we get to the HDT takes on the world part, let’s back up a bit. At the back end of 1984, Peter Brock was absolutely knackered. On top of driving, running the race team, an unsuccessful Le Mans campaign and the road car division, he liked a drink and a smoke or ten. Heck the HDT’s main sponsor was Marlboro. There were rumours he was really, really crook.
Ultimately, Brock found a chiropractor called Eric Dowker who got him back into shape. Dowker also got him off the grog and the cigs and even got him to go vegan.
For 1985, Peter Brock rolled out ready for the Group A era. He was in much better health by now thanks to Dowker’s interesting therapy (we’ll get to that in a minute). Mobil replaced Marlboro as the main sponsor on the race cars and Brock set about plans to take on the world.
First thing he needed to do was to sell enough road going HDT cars to satisfy the Group A rules. Once he had done that, the race Holden could be based off the HDT road car with all the tricked-up bits on it. By the end of 1985, he had done just that.
1986 was going to be a big year for the HDT. Their new car was ready to take on not just Australia but also Europe. Brock was looking ahead to 1987 and the World Touring Car Championship that going to take place. As well as his regular Australian campaign he was going to take the HDT to Europe for a partial campaign in the European series as ‘dress rehearsal’ for the WTCC a year later.
And then Brock did something unthinkable. He invited Allan Moffat to morning tea at his workshop. At the time, Moffat was unemployed. After his Ford support dried up, he became a Mazda man which didn’t make him more popular. In fact it made him less popular. Signs that read ‘no Jap-Crap’ were prominent around Australian racetracks in the early 80’s. He had delivered them a reasonable amount of success but when the Group A era started, Mazda didn’t have a car that would fit the regulations. Moffat was out of a job when the phone rang with Brock’s morning tea invite.
According to Moffat “Morning tea turned into long lunch, long lunch became afternoon tea and I drove home in a HDT Commodore, my new company car.”
All of Australian motorsport chocked on their breakfast when they read the headline ‘Moffat joins HDT’. Superman had just hired Lex Luther. “What the actual f**k?” said literally everyone.
With everyone still in shock, Brock & Moffat started off 1986 with a win in New Zealand, their first race as teammates. They both looked at each other after the race and almost simultaneously asked “Why didn’t we do this a decade earlier?” And then everyone got it. The best driver in Australia had hired the second-best driver in Australia. A pretty good duo to take on the world, yeah?
The first half of 1986 was a busy one for the HDT. The Australian championship, the partial European campaign that culminated in the Spa 24 Hour in Belgium and the ever-expanding road car business, Peter Brock was a man who looked to have it made. As Moffat put it, “Peter was well on his way to becoming a millionaire while the rest of us were just journeymen”.
And then…
Then came the Energy Polariser.
This is when things turn to sh*t.
As I said Eric Dowker was a key part of Brock’s life. Along with going smoke and grog-free, part of his treatments involved crystals and all sorts of stuff that would be considered “New Age”. Noticing how well it had worked on him, Brock became a full-on convert. He was bordering on being obsessed with these damn crystals and then he had an idea: If crystals and help human performance, what about car performance?
The idea seemed innocent enough, but most would have written it off. Brock didn’t. According to some from within the HDT, crystals were getting dangled around the engine dyno and other areas of the workshop. Dowker started appearing at every race meeting in full HDT uniform. He was mockingly referred to as “Doctor Feelgood”.
Ultimately, Brock and Dowker came up with a small plastic box filled with a pair of magnets separated by some crystals embedded in epoxy resin. It was held to the firewall of a car by a single self-tapping screw. The Energy Polariser.
According to Brock “It’s a magic cure. It makes a shithouse car good.”
Brock had already been quietly fitting them to the race cars without telling the other drivers. John Harvey only found out when the polariser broke off its mounting point during a practice session and almost went under his brake pedal.
Brock then started offering them to customers. For just $467AUD you could have this little box of magic fitted to the firewall of your car and it would cure all its ills (allegedly).
Now put yourself in Holden’s shoes. You have an image to maintain right? And then you find out your golden boy is with no scientific basis, putting a box of crystals in cars that have your name and badge on them claiming that they’re “Aligning the molecules of the engine”. Hmm…
So very reasonably, Holden at this point is saying “Uh Peter? This Energy Polariser thingy? What’s the thinking behind it? Seems a bit fishy to us.”
Brock and Dowker respond to Holden with a press release. It was essentially one page of complete and utter gibberish were Brock and Dowker crap on about “vibrations” and how the Polariser will “align the molecules in its sphere of influence”. Want to give yourself a migraine? Here it is in all its glory (apologies for the quality): https://hsvclubnsw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/DB-Technology-Polariser-Statement.pdf
Remember, this isn’t a cult leader or a pyramid scheme sales pitch or a Byron Bay “Instagram influencer” coming out with this. This is coming from a racing car driver.
The real concerning thing for Holden and anyone who knows a thing or two about cars was the recommended tyre pressures for a Polariser-equipped car: 20 psi. For those of you who don’t know, that’s all but flat. But according to Brock, that’s okay because “the molecules will be aligned, and all will be well…”
At best it was all pseudoscience and at worst it was downright dangerous. Holden were alarmed and insisted on properly testing it. To nobody’s surprise it was found to be simply what it looked like: a box of crystals. Brock then went over Holden’s head to General Motors thinking that surely the mothership would hear him out. They didn’t. Still though, Brock rejected the perfectly reasonable findings that his box of crystals was useless. He even lied to Holden that when GM tested it, they thought it was brilliant and were considering making it a standard feature in all their cars. A quick phone called from Australia to America proved that to be false. As far as Brock was concerned, the Energy Polariser was so advanced, there wasn’t a way to properly test it. Holden were NOT happy at this point.
Brock though didn’t care. Even when the Australian Sceptic’s Society awarded him their ‘Bent Spoon Award’, he pushed on determinedly creating a road car that in his mind would be his and the HDT’s crowning glory: The Director.
All this culminated in February 1987.
The World Touring Car Championship that the HDT were going to take on? Nope. Brock pulled the pin leaving co-drivers Moffat and Harvey (who were both finalising sponsorship deals) out in the cold.
And then he really, really shot himself in the foot when he launched The Director. As an aside, The Director was one badass looking car. Based on the Holden VL Commodore with a low body kit and flared rear wing it still looks the goods today. But Holden took a dim view of it for two main reasons:
At the launch of The Director Brock stood in front of The Director that sat on a rotating platform and said the words that put the final nail in the HDT’s coffin:
“We have a motor car which you can probably see circulating behind me which is capable of gaining us some much-earned export dollars and Holden are trying to stop me and I’m a pretty determined sort of person and I’m pressing on. They said to me, if you Peter Brock announce this car at the end of this week, we will withdraw all support. Well, I’ve gone ahead, and I’ve announced it.”
After that, Holden were officially done. They terminated their partnership with the HDT. The dealers cut the support to the race team and the money dried up. The road car business was finished and the race team was decimated. Allan Moffat and John Harvey resigned.
Here's a news report that sums up the events: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZZpP4fbgeE&t=196s
Moffat summed it up best in his autobiography: “I have been through the corporate wringer myself. I have railed against bureaucracy and been frustrated by people who simply won’t be reasonable and do things my way. I have, in my view, been severely let down by people I’ve trusted-although possibly they don’t share that opinion. But if I’d been in a position where I had General Motors in my hip pocket, I would never, never, never have put myself above them. That’s not corporate cowardice; it’s just common sense.”
The HDT was done. Or was it? You see although Holden didn’t want a bar of Brock, his main sponsor Mobil reasoned that he was still the fan favourite and therefore, still money in the bank and agreed to sponsor what was left of the team. He just needed a bit of extra cash to keep him racing. And it came from an unlikely source.
He had three race cars left in his workshop. Two were for racing in Australia and the third was for the aborted World Touring Car campaign. Three men showed up to look at that car. They told Brock they represented a huge fan of his who wanted to own a bit of Brock history. They wrote a cheque for $125 000, gave it to Brock, put the car on their trailer and took it straight to the car’s new owner: Allan Moffat.
Moffat and John Harvey ended up doing what Brock was going to do: Have a crack at the World Championship. It was only a partial campaign on a shoestring budget, but they took a victory at Monza and an outstanding 4th outright at the Spa 24 Hour, driving as a two-man team when everyone else had 3. For me, as an Australian motorsport nutcase, this remains one of the biggest ‘what-ifs’. I mean just imagine if Brock pulled his head in and they had a proper well-financed crack at it. The HDT could have been world champions…
But that’s all hypotheticals. For 1987, Brock ran a much leaner operation. He had a quiet Australian championship. No wins and no podiums. He was even lapped in several races. He cut a dejected figure. And then…
He went out and won the Bathurst 1000.
Against the world’s best (Bathurst was part of the World Touring Car Championship), and in a shoestring budget sh*tbox of a car, he won the damn thing! (I’ve covered that race more thoroughly in a previous post here. Just check my profile for the “Nice wheel arches mate” story. Highly recommend, great read 😉)
After 1987 though, Brock really was in the wilderness. He spent 1988 in an uncompetitive BMW and 1989 & 1990 in a, wait for it, in a Ford. He did win a handful of races but was far from the force he once was. At the end of 1990 the team was officially closed down.
For 1991 Brock went back to Holden, albeit as a privateer, again with minimal success. For 1994 though, Holden took him back in a factory capacity. After the HDT was wound down, Holden backed a new factory squad run by the Tom Walkinshaw Racing empire, the Holden Racing Team. For 1994, the HRT reasoned that commercially, having the people’s champion and the money from Mobil that came with him was a good thing. Brock was back albeit just as a driver. He had no say in the running of the team. Still, he became more competitive again, but he never quite rediscovered his untouchable brilliance from the late 70’s and early 80’s. The younger generation was taking over. By the end of 1997, he retired from fulltime driving.
The problem for Brock, was that retirement didn’t suit him. He was restless and kept on having little comebacks. Some were successful, others less so. He also got right into tarmac rallying which would sadly be the death of him. Ask any Australian motor racing fan where they were and what they were doing on the 8th of September 2006, and they will be able to tell you. I know I can. Driving in a Targa Rally in Western Australia, Brock’s Daytona Coupe went driver’s door first into a thick gum tree. He was killed instantly. All of Australia went into mourning for the second time in just a couple of days. Steve Irwin had died earlier in the week. September ’06 sucked if you were Australian.
It's been over 15 years since Peter Brock died. Many books, documentaries and podcasts have been made about him. There’s no doubt that he was THE fan favourite of Australian motorsport and his legacy and success is still revered today. And yet, when you bring up February 1987 and the events leading up to it to a Brock-diehard even they’ll admit it wasn’t his finest hour. Good people sometimes make bad decisions.
To finish up, here’s an ironic twist to the story. Since Brock’s death, the value of the HDT road cars has spiked due to their heritage and rareness. But the most valuable of all? That would be The Director. Only 9 were made before the HDT road car division was shut down so their value has soared. Originally priced at $87 000 when launched in 1987, one of them sold at auction for well over $300 000 in 2010. The same car that brought the company down is now the most valuable car that it produced.
And yes, it came equipped with the Energy Polariser.
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When it comes to sporting rivalries in Australia, Ford vs Holden is one of the longest. Today, it’s hard to believe with Ford no longer making cars in Australia and Holden no longer even existing but there was a time were what car Australians drove really mattered. Were you a Holden family with Monaro’s, Torana’s and Commodores or a Ford family with a Falcon in your driveway? It was one or the other. No in between. There are stories of Holden-driving fathers refusing to allow their daughters to date boys simply because their dads drove Fords. The battles were fought on every level: advertising, dealers and from the mid-1960’s on the racetrack. And that’s were our story kicks off…
It's 1967 and for the first time, an Australian-made car has won the Bathurst 500. A Ford Falcon XR driven by Harry Firth and Fred Gibson wins the race and Ford Australia are ecstatic. A phrase commonly used at the time is “Win on Sunday, sell on Monday.” Winning Bathurst was a big deal and Ford reaped the benefits with sales and foot traffic into their dealerships. Crucially it really hurt their main rivals Holden.
For 1968 Holden wanted revenge on the racetrack. They had a great car in which to get it too, the Monaro. There was however, a bit of a problem. You see Holden despite being proudly Australian was owned by General Motors and at the time, GM had a blanket ban on their manufacturers going motor racing.
Pretty much everyone within Holden wanted to go racing though, so the Holden heavies looked for a loophole that would get them on the Bathurst grid and they quickly found one. They realised that there was nothing to stop them giving some money to their dealers and telling the dealers to then give said money to an idependant race team and voila! You’ve got yourself an all-but-official factory race team that gets around the GM ban. The man at the head of this team is David McKay, Australia’s first touring car champion. He’s ready to take on Ford’s leader Harry Firth.
For the 1968 Bathurst 500, the Holden vs Ford battlelines are drawn. And Holden gets its revenge as Firth’s Ford’s flounder. Strangely though, it’s a privateer Monaro that takes the chequered flag first. McKay brings his factory-but-not-really-factory-just-in-case-Detroit-gets-wind-of-this Monaro’s home second, third and fifth. And then he made an error. He failed to protest against the winning Monaro that some alleged ran with an illegal brake system. Holden’s heavies weren’t happy at all. They were in it to win with their own cars not their customers. And then for McKay, things got worse.
After Bathurst, Holden and Ford would face off again in the 1968 London to Sydney Marathon, the most epic car race ever staged. Almost 100 teams from all over the world took part but Australia was only focused on Firth & McKay. They were evenly matched. 3 Falcons for Firth and 3 Monaro’s for McKay. And just like Bathurst, neither of them won.
But in the Ford vs Holden battle, Ford came out most definitely on top, finishing 3rd, 6th and 8th and taking the best performing team award for their troubles. McKay’s Monaro’s came home 12th, 14th and McKay’s lead car DNF’ed after rolling in the Australian outback. And that was the last straw for Holden. McKay had failed them.
Ford Australia meantime was going through a restructure. The restructure involved refreshing their racing team. And incredibly, that meant showing Harry Firth the door. Big Mistake. Huge. You’d think after his marathon efforts, Ford would be pretty chuffed, but they got rid of him. Holden pounced. Within a fortnight, Harry was a Holden man. All his mechanics and engineers went with him. This was the start of what became the Holden Dealer Team.
Despite nicking all of Ford’s mechanics and tech know-how, Firth failed to poach their drivers. That forced him to go searching for young talent. He eventually found Colin Bond a promising rally and circuit driver and then noticed a driver of a little blue Austin A30 that was giving almost every competitor a complete belting. His name? Peter Brock.
For Bathurst 1969, Firth did what McKay couldn’t: Deliver the Holden factory a Bathurst win. Bond won, Brock was third and just behind was Ford’s new lead driver. He was an ex-pat Canadian who looked like an angry maths teacher. His name? Allan Moffat. A rivalry had just started.
For 1970 & ’71, Moffat dominated the Bathurst enduro in the mighty GTHO Falcon but in 1972, Brock struck back for Holden. That win made him the golden boy of Australian motorsport. Brock wore the white hat: hippy-handsome, a great driver and a man of the people, driving the Australian car. Moffat wore the black hat: cranky, methodical, withdrawn and representing the American manufacturer.
For 1973 the ante was turned up. The Bathurst race went from imperial to metric. 500 miles became 1000 kilometres. The regulations changed from Improved Production (stock-standard production cars with minimal upgrades. Some were even road registered) to the more liberal Group C Touring Cars. Moffat cleaned up in ’73 but it wasn’t all doom and gloom for Holden when at the end of the year, Ford pulled the plug on its factory race team. From 1974 Moffat was forced to go it alone in his own team with only back-door support from Ford.
But Holden wasn’t without its troubles either. At the end of 1974, Brock had a blow-up with Firth and left the HDT. Some say Firth fired him. Others say Brock grew tired of Firth’s iron fist approach to running the team and dipped out.
In two years both the white knight and the black knight were out on their own. And yet…they excelled. Despite driving a shoestring budget Holden, Brock won Bathurst in 1975. Moffat was a constant front-runner. The back-door support from Ford helped. The Holden Dealer Team though remained THE Team. Firth still ran it efficiently and he still had Colin Bond. Like Brock though, Bond was growing tired of Firth. He was paid next to nothing for his driving and expected to be on spanner duty in the workshop. So when Allan Moffat made him an offer at the end of 1976, Colin accepted.
In 1977, to quote Moffat: “We blew the doors off Holden”. With the HDT now minus their two star drivers, Holden floundered on the track. Moffat’s Ford team was well-backed and well-organised and as a result, Moffat in Falcon #1 and Bond in Falcon #2 dominated the year. The crowning glory was their 1-2 formation finish at Bathurst. Ford got an insane amount of mileage out of it. Nearly 50 years later, it remains one of the most iconic images of Australian motorsport. At the end of the year an exasperated Holden official approached Moffat and in desperation asked: “What can we do to beat you?”
Moffat shrugged and replied “Simple. Re-employ Brock”
With Harry Firth retiring, that’s exactly what they did. For 1978, Brock was back as a driver for the HDT. Moffat’s honest reply to that Holden official came back to bite him in the clacker. With money from Ford drying up, Moffat began to flounder and Brock dominated for the next two years, culminating in the 1979 Bathurst 1000 were he won by a whopping 6 laps and broke the lap record on the final lap. What a show off.
But then right after that epic performance…Holden pulled the plug. They were done.
Brock however refused to give up. He assumed ownership of the team and over Christmas, embarked on a whistle-stop tour of the Holden dealerships offering them a deal. The deal he offered them was a tricked-up road-going Holden Commodore built by the HDT. Any Holden dealership who helped fund the race team got exclusive access to sell the road-going car. The campaign was a success. Over 100 dealerships signed up putting the ‘Dealer’ right back into the Holden Dealer Team and HDT Special Vehicles was born.
In the early 1980’s, the HDT lead by Brock was a juggernaut both on and off the racetrack. Bathurst victory after Bathurst victory and the road car business boomed. Initially, Holden were reluctant but seeing the demand, they supported the program. By 1981 the first HDT road cars were delivered to the clamouring dealers. As Brock’s number one lieutenant and teammate John Harvey put it “Demand was so high, we couldn’t make them quick enough!”
The Group C Touring Car era ended at the end of 1984 and the Holden Dealer Team looked every bit like champions. Multiple Bathurst and other race wins, a road car arm that was fast becoming a great Australian success story and the best and most popular driver in the country at the head of it.
What next?
For 1985, Australia adopted international Group A Touring Car regulations. With every touring car series all over the world running to these regulations, you could take a car all over the world and race it. Pretty cool right? Brock certainly thought so and started planning...
But before we get to the HDT takes on the world part, let’s back up a bit. At the back end of 1984, Peter Brock was absolutely knackered. On top of driving, running the race team, an unsuccessful Le Mans campaign and the road car division, he liked a drink and a smoke or ten. Heck the HDT’s main sponsor was Marlboro. There were rumours he was really, really crook.
Ultimately, Brock found a chiropractor called Eric Dowker who got him back into shape. Dowker also got him off the grog and the cigs and even got him to go vegan.
For 1985, Peter Brock rolled out ready for the Group A era. He was in much better health by now thanks to Dowker’s interesting therapy (we’ll get to that in a minute). Mobil replaced Marlboro as the main sponsor on the race cars and Brock set about plans to take on the world.
First thing he needed to do was to sell enough road going HDT cars to satisfy the Group A rules. Once he had done that, the race Holden could be based off the HDT road car with all the tricked-up bits on it. By the end of 1985, he had done just that.
1986 was going to be a big year for the HDT. Their new car was ready to take on not just Australia but also Europe. Brock was looking ahead to 1987 and the World Touring Car Championship that going to take place. As well as his regular Australian campaign he was going to take the HDT to Europe for a partial campaign in the European series as ‘dress rehearsal’ for the WTCC a year later.
And then Brock did something unthinkable. He invited Allan Moffat to morning tea at his workshop. At the time, Moffat was unemployed. After his Ford support dried up, he became a Mazda man which didn’t make him more popular. In fact it made him less popular. Signs that read ‘no Jap-Crap’ were prominent around Australian racetracks in the early 80’s. He had delivered them a reasonable amount of success but when the Group A era started, Mazda didn’t have a car that would fit the regulations. Moffat was out of a job when the phone rang with Brock’s morning tea invite.
According to Moffat “Morning tea turned into long lunch, long lunch became afternoon tea and I drove home in a HDT Commodore, my new company car.”
All of Australian motorsport chocked on their breakfast when they read the headline ‘Moffat joins HDT’. Superman had just hired Lex Luther. “What the actual f**k?” said literally everyone.
With everyone still in shock, Brock & Moffat started off 1986 with a win in New Zealand, their first race as teammates. They both looked at each other after the race and almost simultaneously asked “Why didn’t we do this a decade earlier?” And then everyone got it. The best driver in Australia had hired the second-best driver in Australia. A pretty good duo to take on the world, yeah?
The first half of 1986 was a busy one for the HDT. The Australian championship, the partial European campaign that culminated in the Spa 24 Hour in Belgium and the ever-expanding road car business, Peter Brock was a man who looked to have it made. As Moffat put it, “Peter was well on his way to becoming a millionaire while the rest of us were just journeymen”.
And then…
Then came the Energy Polariser.
This is when things turn to sh*t.
As I said Eric Dowker was a key part of Brock’s life. Along with going smoke and grog-free, part of his treatments involved crystals and all sorts of stuff that would be considered “New Age”. Noticing how well it had worked on him, Brock became a full-on convert. He was bordering on being obsessed with these damn crystals and then he had an idea: If crystals and help human performance, what about car performance?
The idea seemed innocent enough, but most would have written it off. Brock didn’t. According to some from within the HDT, crystals were getting dangled around the engine dyno and other areas of the workshop. Dowker started appearing at every race meeting in full HDT uniform. He was mockingly referred to as “Doctor Feelgood”.
Ultimately, Brock and Dowker came up with a small plastic box filled with a pair of magnets separated by some crystals embedded in epoxy resin. It was held to the firewall of a car by a single self-tapping screw. The Energy Polariser.
According to Brock “It’s a magic cure. It makes a shithouse car good.”
Brock had already been quietly fitting them to the race cars without telling the other drivers. John Harvey only found out when the polariser broke off its mounting point during a practice session and almost went under his brake pedal.
Brock then started offering them to customers. For just $467AUD you could have this little box of magic fitted to the firewall of your car and it would cure all its ills (allegedly).
Now put yourself in Holden’s shoes. You have an image to maintain right? And then you find out your golden boy is with no scientific basis, putting a box of crystals in cars that have your name and badge on them claiming that they’re “Aligning the molecules of the engine”. Hmm…
So very reasonably, Holden at this point is saying “Uh Peter? This Energy Polariser thingy? What’s the thinking behind it? Seems a bit fishy to us.”
Brock and Dowker respond to Holden with a press release. It was essentially one page of complete and utter gibberish were Brock and Dowker crap on about “vibrations” and how the Polariser will “align the molecules in its sphere of influence”. Want to give yourself a migraine? Here it is in all its glory (apologies for the quality): https://hsvclubnsw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/DB-Technology-Polariser-Statement.pdf
Remember, this isn’t a cult leader or a pyramid scheme sales pitch or a Byron Bay “Instagram influencer” coming out with this. This is coming from a racing car driver.
The real concerning thing for Holden and anyone who knows a thing or two about cars was the recommended tyre pressures for a Polariser-equipped car: 20 psi. For those of you who don’t know, that’s all but flat. But according to Brock, that’s okay because “the molecules will be aligned, and all will be well…”
At best it was all pseudoscience and at worst it was downright dangerous. Holden were alarmed and insisted on properly testing it. To nobody’s surprise it was found to be simply what it looked like: a box of crystals. Brock then went over Holden’s head to General Motors thinking that surely the mothership would hear him out. They didn’t. Still though, Brock rejected the perfectly reasonable findings that his box of crystals was useless. He even lied to Holden that when GM tested it, they thought it was brilliant and were considering making it a standard feature in all their cars. A quick phone called from Australia to America proved that to be false. As far as Brock was concerned, the Energy Polariser was so advanced, there wasn’t a way to properly test it. Holden were NOT happy at this point.
Brock though didn’t care. Even when the Australian Sceptic’s Society awarded him their ‘Bent Spoon Award’, he pushed on determinedly creating a road car that in his mind would be his and the HDT’s crowning glory: The Director.
All this culminated in February 1987.
The World Touring Car Championship that the HDT were going to take on? Nope. Brock pulled the pin leaving co-drivers Moffat and Harvey (who were both finalising sponsorship deals) out in the cold.
And then he really, really shot himself in the foot when he launched The Director. As an aside, The Director was one badass looking car. Based on the Holden VL Commodore with a low body kit and flared rear wing it still looks the goods today. But Holden took a dim view of it for two main reasons:
- It came with the Energy Polariser fitted as standard.
- It featured a new independent rear suspension system developed by the HDT that Holden hadn’t tested or approved.
At the launch of The Director Brock stood in front of The Director that sat on a rotating platform and said the words that put the final nail in the HDT’s coffin:
“We have a motor car which you can probably see circulating behind me which is capable of gaining us some much-earned export dollars and Holden are trying to stop me and I’m a pretty determined sort of person and I’m pressing on. They said to me, if you Peter Brock announce this car at the end of this week, we will withdraw all support. Well, I’ve gone ahead, and I’ve announced it.”
After that, Holden were officially done. They terminated their partnership with the HDT. The dealers cut the support to the race team and the money dried up. The road car business was finished and the race team was decimated. Allan Moffat and John Harvey resigned.
Here's a news report that sums up the events: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZZpP4fbgeE&t=196s
Moffat summed it up best in his autobiography: “I have been through the corporate wringer myself. I have railed against bureaucracy and been frustrated by people who simply won’t be reasonable and do things my way. I have, in my view, been severely let down by people I’ve trusted-although possibly they don’t share that opinion. But if I’d been in a position where I had General Motors in my hip pocket, I would never, never, never have put myself above them. That’s not corporate cowardice; it’s just common sense.”
The HDT was done. Or was it? You see although Holden didn’t want a bar of Brock, his main sponsor Mobil reasoned that he was still the fan favourite and therefore, still money in the bank and agreed to sponsor what was left of the team. He just needed a bit of extra cash to keep him racing. And it came from an unlikely source.
He had three race cars left in his workshop. Two were for racing in Australia and the third was for the aborted World Touring Car campaign. Three men showed up to look at that car. They told Brock they represented a huge fan of his who wanted to own a bit of Brock history. They wrote a cheque for $125 000, gave it to Brock, put the car on their trailer and took it straight to the car’s new owner: Allan Moffat.
Moffat and John Harvey ended up doing what Brock was going to do: Have a crack at the World Championship. It was only a partial campaign on a shoestring budget, but they took a victory at Monza and an outstanding 4th outright at the Spa 24 Hour, driving as a two-man team when everyone else had 3. For me, as an Australian motorsport nutcase, this remains one of the biggest ‘what-ifs’. I mean just imagine if Brock pulled his head in and they had a proper well-financed crack at it. The HDT could have been world champions…
But that’s all hypotheticals. For 1987, Brock ran a much leaner operation. He had a quiet Australian championship. No wins and no podiums. He was even lapped in several races. He cut a dejected figure. And then…
He went out and won the Bathurst 1000.
Against the world’s best (Bathurst was part of the World Touring Car Championship), and in a shoestring budget sh*tbox of a car, he won the damn thing! (I’ve covered that race more thoroughly in a previous post here. Just check my profile for the “Nice wheel arches mate” story. Highly recommend, great read 😉)
After 1987 though, Brock really was in the wilderness. He spent 1988 in an uncompetitive BMW and 1989 & 1990 in a, wait for it, in a Ford. He did win a handful of races but was far from the force he once was. At the end of 1990 the team was officially closed down.
For 1991 Brock went back to Holden, albeit as a privateer, again with minimal success. For 1994 though, Holden took him back in a factory capacity. After the HDT was wound down, Holden backed a new factory squad run by the Tom Walkinshaw Racing empire, the Holden Racing Team. For 1994, the HRT reasoned that commercially, having the people’s champion and the money from Mobil that came with him was a good thing. Brock was back albeit just as a driver. He had no say in the running of the team. Still, he became more competitive again, but he never quite rediscovered his untouchable brilliance from the late 70’s and early 80’s. The younger generation was taking over. By the end of 1997, he retired from fulltime driving.
The problem for Brock, was that retirement didn’t suit him. He was restless and kept on having little comebacks. Some were successful, others less so. He also got right into tarmac rallying which would sadly be the death of him. Ask any Australian motor racing fan where they were and what they were doing on the 8th of September 2006, and they will be able to tell you. I know I can. Driving in a Targa Rally in Western Australia, Brock’s Daytona Coupe went driver’s door first into a thick gum tree. He was killed instantly. All of Australia went into mourning for the second time in just a couple of days. Steve Irwin had died earlier in the week. September ’06 sucked if you were Australian.
It's been over 15 years since Peter Brock died. Many books, documentaries and podcasts have been made about him. There’s no doubt that he was THE fan favourite of Australian motorsport and his legacy and success is still revered today. And yet, when you bring up February 1987 and the events leading up to it to a Brock-diehard even they’ll admit it wasn’t his finest hour. Good people sometimes make bad decisions.
To finish up, here’s an ironic twist to the story. Since Brock’s death, the value of the HDT road cars has spiked due to their heritage and rareness. But the most valuable of all? That would be The Director. Only 9 were made before the HDT road car division was shut down so their value has soared. Originally priced at $87 000 when launched in 1987, one of them sold at auction for well over $300 000 in 2010. The same car that brought the company down is now the most valuable car that it produced.
And yes, it came equipped with the Energy Polariser.
2023.03.26 12:44 PrattFamilyHomestead Complete Dinner From Our Canned Food Pulled Pork And Veggies Make It March #MakeItMarch
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2023.03.26 12:26 ShadowDragon8685 [Ace is the Only Sane Pirate 13]Doctor Dick Feynman, I presume?
Ace was stunned. She almost felt disassociated from her own scaled hide; mentally she was still processing, even as, somehow, she found herself smoothly walking down the ramp to the navigation console, relieving the human who was at it.
She recovered quickly as she found herself reviewing the controls. They were all laid out, smooth and reasonably intuitively so. It wasn't even that she was entirely unfamiliar with taking command of a capital starship; she had, from time to time, taken the captain's post of the Arcadian Endeavour, to say nothing of the helm, but still, she was gobsmacked that Najia trusted her so readily as to just ask her to take the helm.
She looked the controls over again. The ship seemed ready to sail. "The helm is operative," she said. She was, however, unfamiliar with the ship class; fortunately, her station included a comprehensive overview. As Large vessels went, it was on the small size; the Arcadian Endeavour would handily outgun it; two Large Pulse Turrets, eight Medium Bolt turrets, and, on her stick, 2 'Medium Meson Streams'. She was vaguely familiar with Meson Streams as being the Protectorate's special signature weapon, but she thought that M weapons might be a bit lightweight to be the 'main armament' on an L vessel. "All systems seem to be reporting operational."
Ace looked uncertainly at the human woman standing the gunnery console next to her. She, too, had a slightly uncertain look, but, after a moment's double-checking, nodded firmly. "Gunnery confirms, all stations reporting green, C-Captain," she said, looking back up at Najia, who nodded firmly. "Ace, take us out. Let's track down Boso Ta's mysterious interloper."
Ace nodded firmly, and throttled the Destroyer-class vessel in reverse. The ship accelerated with surprising speed; nothing at all like the ponderous heft of the Empyrean Curs' home. The mammoth headquarters station receded into the distance, and she made a slight hiss to clear her throat. "We are away, Najia. We should begin scanning for this interloper if you wish to locate them." "Right. That's... Actually on this console," Najia recalled after a moment, her hands flying over the console. She'd done this before, a few times, but she still felt like such an imposter standing on the bridge of a ship this large and giving orders, even though she could - and did - order fleets of such ships around. Still, the long-range sensors came up, and in moments a ping found itself. She pushed it to Ace's station. "Let's go see who, or what, is creating such a fuss around here," she said. She felt vaguely self-conscious, running down what was probably some Teladi smugglers with a high-powered transmitter rig in some M freighter with a fast escort frigate.
Ace, meanwhile, was quite enjoying herself. The ship she was testing was spritely, responsive, without having the ponderous over-steer problem the Baku-class M Freighters had. Even the mighty Terran engines couldn't push a ship this large into T-drive immediately, but in regular drive it accelerated and decelrated rapidly. She quickly brought the ship to the appropriate course to intercept the sensor return, and, swooping past the headquarters station on course, activated her Travel drive. As with any large vessel, there was a considerable charge-up period while the ship's engines built power. However, it was rather less considerable than that of most ships in its class. She had time for a glance at the shipyard slips, and noted that a very large ship was under construction, and quite rapidly too - from its lines, it could only be one of old Professor Nakagawa's Nagoya-class Battleships. Ace found that amusing; Najia's people certainly worked fast.
The ship took off with suddenness that surprised her, the pitch of the T-Drive warmup reaching its crescendo. All attention back to the fore, Ace sucked in a sharp breath as they accelerated, rapidly intercepting the interloping signal. It wasn't hiding very well, Ace thought; if indeed it intended to hide at all. She targeted it as soon as it was within range; to the bridge the computer announced "Okinawa: Research Vessel."
Najia groaned audibly, glancing down; there was a transponder with a name. Oberth. "Dick Feynman," she muttered to herself, suddenly feeling a welling-up of outrage. What, she wanted to know, was Dr. Feynman doing in her system, lurking around her anomalies, without so much as dropping by to say hello? Woah girl, Najia thought to herself, taking a half-step back and a deep breath, wondering where that outburst had come from. Then she thought back to all the tiny little microaggressions Professor Feynman had bestowed upon all of his students; to say nothing of his research assistants. She snorted, loudly, as Ace pulled the Koshirae up alongside the Oberth, and she commed it. The skipper's face appeared on-screen.
"Yes; this is the research vessel Oberth. Can we help you?" Najia nodded to him. "Please put me in contact with the commander of your expedition," she said, firmly but politely. "Very well, one moment." The captain passed her through without further comment; he was clearly annoyed with the professor, since he didn't seem to recognize her, but he was still passing a random passer-by - in a destroyer admittedly - straight to the Professor.
Moments later, the professor himself appeared in the comms window, also on the bridge; just as she recalled him from before. "I am Dr. Rick Feynman, Chief Scientist of the Oberth and in charge of Project Genesis," he said, annoyedly and hurriedly. Najia waited for the other shoe to drop. It did so in a few moments, and he gawped openly at her. "Wait, Najia Takio?! Is it really you?" Najia smirked. "In the flesh, Professor." Unsaid, was that he hadn't even tried to contact her. He was either as oblivious as the Maestro of the Empyrean Curs, or he hadn't wanted to contact her. She was actually betting on the former. "Well, I'm glad you made it," he said. "We didn't expect biological matter to have survived this transition."
Najia blinked, and felt disassociated for a moment; she could just about feel the weightlessness of being cast adrift in her suit again. He had expected the transition, and hadn't warned her, or any of the others he had sent out in suits - whose fates she still didn't know? She was on the verge of exploding at him, quite possibly more literally than figuratively, but he continued on speaking blithely. "As I was saying, we are looking into how this station got here. Our research vessel is currently observing anomalies and gravimetric shears in this region."
That's it? That's... It? Najia felt stunned, and she shook her head. She felt on the verge of a schoolgirl explosion of anger, but looked to her side. Marta looked just as furious as she did, but she was maintaining. Selaia, the shipyard temporary master, was standing ramrod-straight, disciplined. Composed, with military bearing. Najia filed that away to ask her about later, but she looked back to the comms panel, and willed herself to the composture that Captain Kevlin had adopted. Be like her, she told herself. The Commander.
"Professor Feynman, I think it's time you told me exactly what Project Genesis is; after all, I almost died for it." There was a blink. He had, at least, the good graces to look somewhat embarrassed. "I'm sorry to inform you that you currently lack the required clearance to access that information, Najia."
Najia had very minimal military training; just the three-week Segaris reserve militia training course that every Pioneer university student got. Between that and the example of Captain Kevlin standing to her side with her feet braced proudly, her face schooled and her arms crossed behind her back as an example, however, Najia managed not to erupt in fury. Below, she saw Ace's tail lash in agitation, but Ace, too, was remaining face-forward, eyes on her controls.
"Is there anything else, Ms. Takio?" Najia considered laying down all the reasons she felt she should be granted clearance to access that information, ranging from the fact that her ships and her production facillities were providing the majority of the Pioneers' construction supplies and she had fantastic trading relations with them, to - again - the fact that she'd almost died for the project - to the fact that, within five minutes, she could have a fleet - a literal fleet of warships training their guns on Oberth.
That last one was, she thought, an argument most compelling. Part of her - a part of her she quickly pushed down - was inclined to simply order the boarding ships in-system to seize the research vessel Oberth by force and have Dr. Feynman dragged before her in irons. That was a sentiment every university student who'd ever had to deal with an insufferable professor would certainly sympathize with. She very much doubted that anyone she knew would even object, but she simply took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"In that case, Professor, what are you doing here; what do you need?" She somehow managed to maintain the composure she was projecting, she thought; though if she could involuntarily kill with her eyes over a comm screen, she was sure he'd fall dead with his head vaporized to a stump. Obliviously, or else with such a remarkable degree of awareness that he pretended to be oblivious, Dr. Feynman brightened and said, "we are currently lacking antimatter cells we need to complete our observations. If you can organize a delivery to this vessel, we'll be able to greatly advance our timetable."
Najia nodded, curtly, and cut the comm channel. She let out the seething huff she wasn't aware she had been holding in, and took a step back. "Captain, you have the Conn," she said, quietly. "I have the Conn," Captain Kevlin said, taking the center console as Najia walked to the aft railing of the 'smoke pit,' taking it in her hands and squeezing for a long few moments. "There's a conference room aboard, ma'am, if you need long-range communications capability," the captain said to her, with a glance over her shoulder. "Also, your two personal S-class craft were loaded onto our pads before you arrived. Should you require them." Najia recognized what the Captain was saying to her; she was semi-subtly suggeting that Najia take her anger somewhere the crew couldn't see it. Najia half-seethed at that, but she recognized the wisdom - and nodded. "Thank you, Captain. I do need the comms, in fact. Ace, Marta, with me please."
"I could kill him," Najia said, the moment the door closed behind her. Marta, ahead of her, sat on the edge of the conference table and snorted. The room was essentially a copy of their ships' standardized mess halls, but without the kitchen. "You and me both. Sanctimonious little..." "Why do you not, then," Ace asked, turning a chair around and sitting in it, drawing her feet up to the edge of it, curling her tail around her legs. "He has clearly given you cause for outrage; not mere ire or annoyance, but clear outrage. He is also utterly oblivious to the fact that, whatever you were relative to him when last you met, you are, now, the master of a vast organization and due far more respect - and information - than he provided. The Maestro would likely order his ship siezed, that he himself be seized, respect beaten into him, and then have brought before him in chains to answer the questions he refused to answer before."
Najia paused for a moment, and leaned back on the wall of the conference room, taking a deep breath, huffing and letting it out slowly, hugging herself self-consciously. Less the 'ordering a beating to a prisoner' part, she had considered that very course of action. "Is that what you want me to do, Ace?" Ace let out a soft, hissing trill, and shook her head. "No. That would be... Very out-of-character for you, I think." She blinked at that, unsure why she didn't want to see Najia order that course of action, when it was what her piratical upbringing was telling her that Najia should do - would be within every right to do.
"Yeah, well... I considered it," Najia said, "less the beating part, anyway." "He's keepin' secrets from you. Spook stuff," Marta pointed out. "Considering how you almost died in the name of this Project Genesis, you damn well deserve some answers. Frankly, I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you did order the ship seized and searched for those answers. And if we took Doc Dick prisoner in the process, well... I mean, I wouldn't, you know, condone it if you happened to say that they shouldn't be too concerned with being gentle when they grabbed him, I don't think I'd raise a fuss about it, either."
Najia broke into a laugh, and then face-palmed, sighing heavily, and grinning. "No. As cathartic as it might be..." She sighed, heavily. "As deeply, deeply cathartic as it might be..." She trailed off, then shook her head vehemently. "No. He is a prick, though." Marta snorted. "No arguments from me there. I can't tell you how many times I daydreamed about force-feeding him his own lectern in class." She smirked at Najia. "And I know you felt the same way."
"Mmmhmm. So, fie." She pushed off from the wall, sat in the chair next to Ace, and pulled up the comms, back to the station, intending to explain the matter to Boso Ta. The Boron's head appeared in hologram above the table. "Ah, Assistant! It appears that they are researching the same anomaly which brought the station over here," Boso Ta said, preempting her. He continued on, quickly, "Most of the gravimetric charge dispersed during that event, but they brought quite an array of equipment to examine the traces. Let us hope that this satisfies their curiosity and leads to their departure." Najia snorted at that. "Don't bet on it. I know this asshole, he's... Well, he's up to something. I'll arrange to deliver him the stuff he wants and get this moving, but, don't get your hopes up." She sighed, and decided to be nicer to Boso Ta, if only because she had been reminded of just how not-nice Dr. Feynman had been to her. "Is there anything else you need, Boso Ta, that we can act on at present?"
"Ah, yes," Boso Ta said, brightly. "We are prepared for teleportation trials to begin. Well, we have already tested them," he admitted, "with nonsapient life forms; your Professor Nakagawa is quite the researcher. He and Station Manager Peterson have quite ably assisted my research here whilst you were off endeavoring in Avarice. We've been waiting to offer you the opportunity to be the first sapient teleportation subject of our revived teleport project."
Najia blinked. "Well..." She paused, and huffed, and the table's comm system chirr-upped. It was Peterson, and Najia added her to the conference call. "Tsukiko, what's this about me being a guinea pig?" Tsukiko let out a huff, interrupted in the middle of something she was about to say; her shoulders slumped, and she grinned, wryly. "Okay, not really a guinea pig," she said. "We've tested it in-system with mice, and dogs. We sedated them first," she said, "and then sent them through un-sedated, too. No ill effects we could find. I hate to say it, but Boso Ta is... Kind of a genius."
Najia held back a snort at that, and Tsukiko smirked at her. "So, it's safe, as near as anyone can tell?" "Oh yes. There's no evidence of any sort of atomic or molecular irregularities in scans of the animals taken on either side of the teleport, and a veterinary specialist who examined the animals before and afterwards indicated there was no sign of any lasting trauma from the experience," Boso Ta interrupted. "I felt that being the first sapient to go through the system would be your due, for the work you've put in to bringing us to the point where it is possible. Najia Takio; first human to use a teleport intentionally... Developed by us, anyway."
Najia snorted at that, and smirked. "I'll think about it. Do we need to retrofit anything?" "Oh, no," Tsukiko said. "Or, rather - and this is actually kind of mind-blowing - the actual teleport hardware itself is... Frankly miniscule. There is a refit needed, but it's already been done; we just started fitting them into the lifts of larger ships and the airlocks of Small-classes."
Najia blinked at that. She hadn't even known about it? "As a standard...?" "Indeed, as a standard option! This would, needless to say, greatly simplify personnel transfer logistics."
Najia laughed at that, and looked at Ace. Ace was stroking her crest, and looked... Thoughtful. Marta looked fascinated. "Shit, Ninja Taco, if you ain't gonna go for it, I will. But what'd you want, Professor Peterson?" Tsukiko laughed, blushing slightly. "Please, Marta, how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Tsukiko? You're harder to break of that habit than Najia was. Anyway, I called because the Golden Flea and the ship Ninja Taco are getting coded comms signals from the Empyrean Curs."
Ace let out a high-pitched trill at that. "Please, you must tunnel the comm from the Flea here with all haste." Tsukiko punched a button on her desk, out of view, and a holographic comms-panel came up in front of Ace. Ace studied it - it looked to Najia like gibberish - for a moment. "This is the recall signal. Maestro wants us back on the Arcadian Endeavour immediately, unless we are presently under surveillance by the authorities." Ace looked back to her. "It looks like the Maestro has his plans aligned and is ready to do something adventuresome."
Najia took in a deep breath, and nodded. "Alright." She squeezed her hand in a fist, and stood up. "We - or, I at least - are going to teleport back to the station. Boso Ta will get his test - and Boso Ta... Good work. Please proceed with teleportation research as far as you can take it." Boso Ta did a somersault in his tank, gleefully, at that request. "Oh, with pleasure, Assistant!" Najia looked at Ace. "Shall we try this teleport thing?" "Yes, let's!" Ace stood, and had a positively gleeful look. "This sounds... Fun."
Najia could only smile at that, and nod. "Right. Have the Flea and 'Chipmunk's' ships brought to the pads," she directed. "Actually, no; send all of my Chipmunk ships ahead; have them dock on the defense platform at the 18B gate, the Endeavor tends to hang out there anyway." She stood. "So... Just... The lift?" "Just the lift," Boso Ta confirmed. "Though, in the very near future, we suspect we'll be able to initiate the teleport from arbitrary locations."
Najia nodded. "Alright. A quick stop before we go." She smiled, heading for the lift.
A scant few minutes later, Najia was in the as-yet-impersonal-and-unfinished ready room, with Captain Kevlin. The two of them eyed one another warily, for a long few moments, and Najia pointed two fingers at her, starting the conversation. "You're not just some shipyard-working spacer," she said. "You stand like you're professional military." "And you stand like you're a free-wheeling, over-inflated sorority sister who lucked out and won the lottery," Kevlin shot back at her, smirking.
Najia blinked. She blinked again. Then she laughed, hard, curling her arm around her belly, the other hand reaching out to rest on the hull next to the window. When she looked up, she grinned. "Okay, now I know you're not a spy. No spy with a brain in their head would say something that's as likely to get them fired as anything else." Selaia smirked at her. "Unless I'm a very good spy who's compiled a massive psych profile on you."
"Which I strongly doubt," Najia shot back. "But you're also not afraid of being fired." Selaia shrugged. "No, I'm not. Working in your shipyard is nice, yes; probably the second-best job I've ever had, but I'm not going to kiss your ass and be a yes-woman. I won't do that for anyone."
Najia straightened up, and peered into Selaia's eyes. They were, not hostile, but hard with resolve. She smirked slightly, and nodded. "Good. I don't like yes-women, they fuck things up. So, you think I'm, what -" "An irresponsible, idealistic child who managed to, through luck and probably some skill, wind up controlling a growing paramilitary business empire," Selaia shot back, walking around her, eyeing her up. Najia snorted at that. "Child? Seriously?"
"You're not a veteran. You're not a politician. You're not a businesswoman. You might be doing a credible job pretending to be those latter two, but you're a university student who got lucky, and is good at putting on faces." Najia bristled, but shoved it down; the Argon-born starship operator was abrasively blunt... But she was airing doubts Najia herself had. "Harsh," Najia said. "But... Not entirely untrue. So, why are you still here, if you don't like me?" There was a long, quiet moment. "I didn't say I didn't like you," Selaia said, softly. "But you are all of those things." She smirked.
"And you like that, then?" Najia smirked back. "What got you discharged, presumably dishonorably, from the Argon navy? Your big mouth that can't seem to shut up? Called a superior out on some bullshit that you couldn't stand to let stand?" "You'd think that, but no; fraternization." Selaia met her gaze, levelly. "Though I was on the thinnest of ice before that for, as you say, speaking my mind." She walked around Najia, appraising her. "Are you planning to sack me? Should I grab my go bag and begone?" Laughing, Najia shook her head. "No! I was actually going to ask if you wanted the ship for real, not just for the trials."
That, at least, took Kevlin aback for a moment. She walked away, paused, turned. Looked Najia up and down again, slowly. Najia felt self-conscious about it, raising her eyebrow, as the other woman crossed her arms over her chest. "Do I have to get on my knees for the job?" Najia blinked at that. It struck her out of left field, and she rocked back on her heels. "I - I'm sorry... What?" "Do you expect me to put out - sexually - for the position," Selaia repeated, slowly, her voice... Almost unnervingly neutral; uncannily, composedly so. Najia gawped at her for a long few moments, her mouth hanging open. Closed. Open. Closed. She reached up and rubbed her face with her hands for a few moments. "I... I'm sorry, I - what kind of - where did you - what gave you..." She took a deep breath. "No. Emphatically no. What on or off Earth gave you that idea?"
A few moments that seemed like almost an eternity passed, then Selaia shrugged, and seemed to shrink in a bit, relaxing. "Frankly? You have a reputation as a party girl that goes back to Segaris and has followed you here what with all the Segaris Pioneers you're hiring away, preferentially beginning with your old circle of school pals - with whom you're pretty obviously in a, what did the Segaris call it, 'polycule' with. Your politics can only be described as 'liberal to an extreme,' given the way you run your stations domestically, and I overheard a snippet of one of your small craft pilots describing, very bluntly, you going down on her in the cockpit, after offering her the job. She was discussing this with the captain of Fenrir, who compared notes with her. I took that to infer that you liked to be sexual with those captains you personally offered a job to."
Najia flushed red, her jaw dropping, and looked out the window again, at the gas giant hanging in the distance. She groaned-and-laughed at the same time. "Fatimah and Xiaowen... I am going to scold them for gossiping somewhere public," she said, laughing so hard it brought tears to her eyes, and rubbed them out of her eyes. Then she heaved a heavy sigh. "And that didn't chase you away?" "I didn't expect I'd ever run into you personally," the shipyard expert said, "and frankly, given the dizzying breadth of corruption a kid with suddenly-unlimited power could get up to, being a little skeevy with grown adults is on the low end." Najia face-palmed again, harder. "Alright, look," she said, turning around. "Fatimah, Xiaowen and I are old friends from Segaris University. Yes, we're a thing, a big, messy, multi-tentacular thing that we're not ashamed of, but you've rather taken the wrong end of the stick there. It was roleplay, what they were discussing, pure and simple. A few moments of kink snatched from the jaws of some really messy, pressy schedules, between attempts to make the galaxy an overall better place and setbacks. Yes, I pretended to abuse my position and money to make them, for want of another word, perform to keep their jobs. And later, Fatimah turned that exact position around on me, while Xiaowen tied me up and -"
"Enough," Selaia said, laughing; finally her composure had broken, and she'd flushed, chuckling and holding her hand up. "Okay, I get it... I apologize, miss Takio. Clearly, I was badly mistaken." "... Najia, please," Najia said, blushing and grinning. "Since you already know me so well anyway."
Selaia snorted at her, and smiled, wryly, nodding. Najia met her eyes, for a long few moments. "So, that fraternization that got you kicked out of the Argon military..." "When you're a military intelligence lieutenant and a famous, well-liked starship captain insinuates that your career might stall out by standing on your feet but might go places on your knees, you weigh your options," Selaia said, bluntly. She pushed off the desk, and pushed past Najia, staring out the window herself. "So I started delivering reports from under his desk instead of in front of it. I hated myself a little, at first... Then he started telling me to sit up on his desk after. That was a little..." She huffed. "I dunno. Then his wife found out."
Najia winced. "Oh, damn. And monogamy is a big thing in Argon space, I take it?" "Well, yes, but she didn't blow up quite like you're expecting. She blew up at him all right - for not telling her and sharing me with her immediately. I got caught by my immediate superior - the one who didn't like my mouth - going to her home, who tried to use the thing to bring me, the captain and his wife - a defense industrial contractor - down. They had political connections, and when all was said and done, I basically took the fall for everything. The Lt.C who found out I was basically being half-bribed, half-blackmailed into being a kinky, connected couple's toy got to quietly resign, the captain got promoted to commodore, and I got the option to take an administrative discharge with my commission revoked for conduct unbecoming, or get totally shafted at a court martial and take the fall for everything, doing prison time."
Najia blinked at that, and winced. "That's... That's..." "If you give me a pity look, I swear I will punch you in the loins and tell you to take your offer and shove it." Proper fire glared in the skipper's eyes as she turned to look at Najia. Najia stepped back, her jaw half-dropping, and then she shook her head, laughing. "No - no! I was saying, 'that's a shit sandwich.'"
Selaia snorted roughly at her, and turned back to look out the window. "Yeah... Yeah, it was. Anyway, that was then, then I wound up here. I signed on a freighter to forget my past, made port here, decided to take a job in the shipyard because it paid better than the freighter, was work I could do, and the habs here are wonderful. Then I found myself in front of you, and, well... Sorry, for thinking you might be kind of a hump."
Najia snorted. "But not so much of a hump that it was an automatic deal-breaker, huh?" She scratched her head, craning to look up at the Oberth hanging 'above' them. "Yes... No... Maybe? I don't honestly know what I was going to say if you said yes," the Argon woman admitted. "At first, when I first... When I found the whole 'prostitution is legal and regulated' here thing, I was skeeved out. I tried to leave, but, there weren't actually any ships that would take me that day. Then I wound up actually finding out that one of my coworkers - someone I was kind of chummy with - was turning tricks on the side, and... Well, we had a chat about it. He was from Segaris, and thought it was no big deal. And, well... I... Kind of... Had whored myself. I didn't feel good about it then. I still don't, but... I was... Well, willing, I suppose, to at least see if the offer you made, the way you made it, made me feel greasy about it like it did back then, or if it was... I don't know; open? Honest?"
"Well, I'm glad to have pleasantly surprised you - though I am totally going to kill Fatimah and Xiaowen for gossiping in public," Najia muttered without sincere heat, continuing "and no... I'm really not going to demand that someone put out for a job. You just... Impressed me with what I saw, in the admittedly very brief time that I've known you, but hey, I'm the kind of impulsive idiot who takes a leap of faith based on her gut instinct."
"Then, in that case..." Selaia turned to her, and smirked. "I'll skipper this ship for you for now, but I want something bigger when it's available. And not assigned to a reaction force or routine escort or defense duty or something." Najia snorted again, and laughed. She took a step back, and looked Selaia up and down again, smirking and grinning. The formerly-Argon military intelligence woman didn't look particularly extraordinary, but she shifted to stand at 'parade rest,' arms folding behind her back, eyes piercing and patient. "Setting terms, huh?" Najia smirked. She looked like she was considering it, but Selaia had impressed her - and she was also the first hire she'd had who had a formal military background outside the Segaris Pioneers. That perspective could be useful. She crossed her arms. "It just so happens I'm planning to build more ships," she said. "Some of them will be quite large." She extended her hand to Selaia, who took and shook it, firmly. "You wouldn't happen to be planning to construct a Centaur II Battleship, would you?" Selaia asked, grinning at her. Najia laughed. "That depends; if you have the full plans for a Centaur II* in your back pocket, I'll make sure you get the first one out of the yard."
Laughing now, the other woman reached back with her free hand, and dramatically patted one of her rear pockets. "Damn, I appear to have left those plans in my other trousers." She let go, grinning and shaking her head, sighing. "Sorry, again, for... You know." Najia shook her head. "Jeeze, are you ever gonna stop beating yourself up for it?" She shook her head, laughing exasperatedly. "I don't know," the Captain answered bluntly, laughing and wryly face-palming. "I thought for sure that you were either going to say yes, or you'd fire me on the spot for even asking. And now I'm asking myself, do I even deserve the post?"
"For, what? Being willing to entertain the idea?" Najia shook her head, and, taking a bit of a risk, reached out and laid her hand heavily on Captain Kevlin's shoulder, squeezing it. "It's not like I'm running a state military with rules against fraternization or anything. What I care about is; can you do it, and are you someone whose general... Mmmmmh... It's not exactly right to say 'someone whose morals I like,' so much as..." Najia trailed off for a moment; Ace's morals were certainly questionable, even by her standards - in some cases especially by her standards - but she had bonded with her, trusted her. "Someone I feel I can trust to continue to be someone whose actions I like. If you wanna be woo-woo about it, someone whose spirit I like. And you? I have a good feeling about you; I've been wrong before, but... Not often."
Selaia snorted at her, looking at her, then looking back to the window. "And you'd trust someone who was willing to go down on you to get the post?" "As its own qualification, no. But it doesn't make me distrust you," Najia said. "Especially with how you were prepared to evaluate how a 'yes' answer made you feel and then tell me to take that offer and shove it. So, we good? You want to skipper a ship for me?" "Just that simply? No... Strings attached?"
Najia laughed, and turned, leaning against the windowsill and looking at the other woman's head in profile, smirking. "Do you want strings attached?" Selaia started at the question, turning to look at her. She worked her mouth a few times, but couldn't seem to find words; she did, however, flush warmly, looking somewhat guilty, and swallowed. "Okay, look; you're conflicted, obviously." Najia took the professional spacer's hand, squeezing it carefully. "Like I said, the job is yours if you say yes, no strings attached. Completely separately from that, if you are interested in, you know, the idea of getting to know me more thoroughly, that's, you know, a matter we can bring up later. And if you're not, then I'm not going to mention it again."
Flushing, Selaia turned away from her, but kept her hands in hers; squeezing Najia's hand, tightly. "This is so fucking unprofessional of me to even be considering," she huffed. "Sure it is. And you impressed me by being able to put on and take off the 'Professional Selaia' almost instantly. I bet you could summon 'Captain Kevlin' back in a moment."
Selaia blinked at her, turning her head to look at her. She drew her hand back, took a deep breath, and faced the window again. Folded her arms behind her back, and executed a crisp right-face, her face schooled into stern impassivity. Her eyes were mirthful, but the rest was the very picture of the woman Najia had seen standing by at attention while she indulged herself in helming the ship personally. "Just like that," Najia said, grinning brightly. Her grin softened Selaia's demeanor, and she smiled in turn. "You're a deep well of passion who can put on 'military bearing' in a moment. And you're not a yes-woman. That's what I need."
Working her jaw slightly, Selaia relaxed, chuckling and sighing; she flushed again, and sighed. "Thank you," she said. "For the opportunity; for not getting pissed at me, for... Well, for being understanding, and tolerating me being an aggro neurotic about it when things didn't go the ways I'd seen them going." "It's fine," Najia assured her, holding her hands up, placatingly, and to her surprise, Selaia took them, squeezing. "I, um... I..." Flushing and looking away, Selaia swallowed. "Is that offer going to be on the table if I need to sleep on it?"
Najia laughed, grinning and shaking her head. "Oh, you're amazing. Yes, absolutely; sleep on it. Hell, I have to get going; places to go, pirate clans to infiltrate. Fun stuff! Speaking of which, please make the ship combat-ready and take it to the Windfall/Eighteen B hardpoint to dock. I'm not saying I expect anything to go down, but..."
"Understood." Selaia looked back up; she remained flushed, but smiled. "That, I can do." She squeezed Najia's hands, and Najia squeezed back, then let go. She pivoted on her heel, slipping out of the Ready Room and headed for the lift; Ace and Marta had disembarked said left and were standing to the side of the corridor, with Marta telling Ace an anecdote from when they were still young class-taking students at Segaris U. "Well that took longer than expected," Marta said. "Everything good?" "Everything's good," Najia said. "And we have a new captain. I figured she should keep Koshirae for now. So, how does this lift-teleporter work?"
"Like this," Ace said, stepping into the lift. She pressed a button, and Najia felt a strange, yet familiar sensation start to take hold; like the feeling she got just before the headquarters had transported itself. Like falling in all directions at once; then, with a bright flash, she found herself in another lift. Blinking, Najia felt herself up for a few moments, then strode out; they were on one of the landing pads at the headquarters, and standing above them was the Golden Flea. Her jaw dropped. "That... That... Was both incredible, and..." "Somehow underwhelming," Ace concluded with her. "It was not wholly without fanfare, yet somehow, I anticipated... More."
Najia nodded. "Right. So, how should we do this?" She looked to Ace, who smiled at her. "We stagger the arrival of Chipmunk's ships and mine in the vicinity of the Arcadian Endeavour, as though we had scattered, lain low, and were returning from somewhat different places." Najia nodded. "Right. And, I wonder... Would it be possible to fit the Flea with a teleporter?"
"Indeed it would," Ace agreed. "I asked Boso Ta if this was possible and he said it was very simple. He delivered the equipment to the Flea before I had finished asking, in fact, though I do not think I will be able to install it and fly home simultaneously." Najia grinned at Ace, and Ace grinned back at her, adding, "but, if you wished to fly back with me, one of us could tinker, while the other flies."
Najia grinned at Ace, and looked back to Marta. "That sounds good to me. Would you please take the Jackdaw and -" "Head on ahead while the two of you fiddle with Ace's ship and snuggle up naked while the ship is on autopilot?" Marta asked back, smirking. Najia flushed, glancing around; there was nobody within earshot. "Mmmm-hmmmm. You ain't foolin' noone, sister." Marta grasped Najia, pulled her close, and kissed her. Najia felt herself melt into the grasp, kissing back instinctually, embracing her oldest friend and turning her head to meet the kiss. Then it ended, Marta pulled back, and stepped back, looking down at Ace with her hands on her hips.
Ace blinked, peering up at the far-taller, stronger human. For a moment, she was concerned she would be threatened again, then she sucked in a sharp breath as Marta reached under her arms, grasped her chest, and simply lifted her to eye-level, then hugged her tightly. Ace let the breath out slowly, tentatively returning the embrace, and asked, "I... thought you distrusted me," she commented. "I did," Marta said, bluntly. "But Najia, apparently, took a chance on you, and figures you're alright. She's been right about that kind of thing a lot more often than I have." Marta squeezed her, and Ace sucked in a breath in alarm; the human could probably squeeze her so strongly that she passed out, yet she didn't squeeze so hard she hurt. It rather felt like being in Najia's arms, in fact. "So, I'm guessing you're one of us now. That ain't gonna be a problem with, you know, the whole pirate clan, is it?"
There it was; the proverbial shoe. Najia swallowed, glad that Ace couldn't see. She had been studiously not raising that point. "It will not be, provided... Provided I am not asked to betray the Curs. Membership in a pirate clan is... Voluntary, for the most part," Ace said. "I will not betray them." She looked back at Najia. "And, I think, neither will you." "But you are willing to leave them... For us?"
"For you," Ace said, reaching out with her tail, wrapping it around Najia's arm. "And, perhaps, the rest of you, in time," she added, looking at Marta, trilling softly. "But I will have to see the Maestro's big scheme through." "Family. I get that," Marta opined, setting Ace down. "Y'all fly safe. We'll filter in like a disorganized rabble."
Ace nodded, and turned to board the Flea. "What took you so long, anyway?" "Oh geeze." Najia followed the Teladi pilot. "It's a long story."
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She recovered quickly as she found herself reviewing the controls. They were all laid out, smooth and reasonably intuitively so. It wasn't even that she was entirely unfamiliar with taking command of a capital starship; she had, from time to time, taken the captain's post of the Arcadian Endeavour, to say nothing of the helm, but still, she was gobsmacked that Najia trusted her so readily as to just ask her to take the helm.
She looked the controls over again. The ship seemed ready to sail. "The helm is operative," she said. She was, however, unfamiliar with the ship class; fortunately, her station included a comprehensive overview. As Large vessels went, it was on the small size; the Arcadian Endeavour would handily outgun it; two Large Pulse Turrets, eight Medium Bolt turrets, and, on her stick, 2 'Medium Meson Streams'. She was vaguely familiar with Meson Streams as being the Protectorate's special signature weapon, but she thought that M weapons might be a bit lightweight to be the 'main armament' on an L vessel. "All systems seem to be reporting operational."
Ace looked uncertainly at the human woman standing the gunnery console next to her. She, too, had a slightly uncertain look, but, after a moment's double-checking, nodded firmly. "Gunnery confirms, all stations reporting green, C-Captain," she said, looking back up at Najia, who nodded firmly. "Ace, take us out. Let's track down Boso Ta's mysterious interloper."
Ace nodded firmly, and throttled the Destroyer-class vessel in reverse. The ship accelerated with surprising speed; nothing at all like the ponderous heft of the Empyrean Curs' home. The mammoth headquarters station receded into the distance, and she made a slight hiss to clear her throat. "We are away, Najia. We should begin scanning for this interloper if you wish to locate them." "Right. That's... Actually on this console," Najia recalled after a moment, her hands flying over the console. She'd done this before, a few times, but she still felt like such an imposter standing on the bridge of a ship this large and giving orders, even though she could - and did - order fleets of such ships around. Still, the long-range sensors came up, and in moments a ping found itself. She pushed it to Ace's station. "Let's go see who, or what, is creating such a fuss around here," she said. She felt vaguely self-conscious, running down what was probably some Teladi smugglers with a high-powered transmitter rig in some M freighter with a fast escort frigate.
Ace, meanwhile, was quite enjoying herself. The ship she was testing was spritely, responsive, without having the ponderous over-steer problem the Baku-class M Freighters had. Even the mighty Terran engines couldn't push a ship this large into T-drive immediately, but in regular drive it accelerated and decelrated rapidly. She quickly brought the ship to the appropriate course to intercept the sensor return, and, swooping past the headquarters station on course, activated her Travel drive. As with any large vessel, there was a considerable charge-up period while the ship's engines built power. However, it was rather less considerable than that of most ships in its class. She had time for a glance at the shipyard slips, and noted that a very large ship was under construction, and quite rapidly too - from its lines, it could only be one of old Professor Nakagawa's Nagoya-class Battleships. Ace found that amusing; Najia's people certainly worked fast.
The ship took off with suddenness that surprised her, the pitch of the T-Drive warmup reaching its crescendo. All attention back to the fore, Ace sucked in a sharp breath as they accelerated, rapidly intercepting the interloping signal. It wasn't hiding very well, Ace thought; if indeed it intended to hide at all. She targeted it as soon as it was within range; to the bridge the computer announced "Okinawa: Research Vessel."
Najia groaned audibly, glancing down; there was a transponder with a name. Oberth. "Dick Feynman," she muttered to herself, suddenly feeling a welling-up of outrage. What, she wanted to know, was Dr. Feynman doing in her system, lurking around her anomalies, without so much as dropping by to say hello? Woah girl, Najia thought to herself, taking a half-step back and a deep breath, wondering where that outburst had come from. Then she thought back to all the tiny little microaggressions Professor Feynman had bestowed upon all of his students; to say nothing of his research assistants. She snorted, loudly, as Ace pulled the Koshirae up alongside the Oberth, and she commed it. The skipper's face appeared on-screen.
"Yes; this is the research vessel Oberth. Can we help you?" Najia nodded to him. "Please put me in contact with the commander of your expedition," she said, firmly but politely. "Very well, one moment." The captain passed her through without further comment; he was clearly annoyed with the professor, since he didn't seem to recognize her, but he was still passing a random passer-by - in a destroyer admittedly - straight to the Professor.
Moments later, the professor himself appeared in the comms window, also on the bridge; just as she recalled him from before. "I am Dr. Rick Feynman, Chief Scientist of the Oberth and in charge of Project Genesis," he said, annoyedly and hurriedly. Najia waited for the other shoe to drop. It did so in a few moments, and he gawped openly at her. "Wait, Najia Takio?! Is it really you?" Najia smirked. "In the flesh, Professor." Unsaid, was that he hadn't even tried to contact her. He was either as oblivious as the Maestro of the Empyrean Curs, or he hadn't wanted to contact her. She was actually betting on the former. "Well, I'm glad you made it," he said. "We didn't expect biological matter to have survived this transition."
Najia blinked, and felt disassociated for a moment; she could just about feel the weightlessness of being cast adrift in her suit again. He had expected the transition, and hadn't warned her, or any of the others he had sent out in suits - whose fates she still didn't know? She was on the verge of exploding at him, quite possibly more literally than figuratively, but he continued on speaking blithely. "As I was saying, we are looking into how this station got here. Our research vessel is currently observing anomalies and gravimetric shears in this region."
That's it? That's... It? Najia felt stunned, and she shook her head. She felt on the verge of a schoolgirl explosion of anger, but looked to her side. Marta looked just as furious as she did, but she was maintaining. Selaia, the shipyard temporary master, was standing ramrod-straight, disciplined. Composed, with military bearing. Najia filed that away to ask her about later, but she looked back to the comms panel, and willed herself to the composture that Captain Kevlin had adopted. Be like her, she told herself. The Commander.
"Professor Feynman, I think it's time you told me exactly what Project Genesis is; after all, I almost died for it." There was a blink. He had, at least, the good graces to look somewhat embarrassed. "I'm sorry to inform you that you currently lack the required clearance to access that information, Najia."
Najia had very minimal military training; just the three-week Segaris reserve militia training course that every Pioneer university student got. Between that and the example of Captain Kevlin standing to her side with her feet braced proudly, her face schooled and her arms crossed behind her back as an example, however, Najia managed not to erupt in fury. Below, she saw Ace's tail lash in agitation, but Ace, too, was remaining face-forward, eyes on her controls.
"Is there anything else, Ms. Takio?" Najia considered laying down all the reasons she felt she should be granted clearance to access that information, ranging from the fact that her ships and her production facillities were providing the majority of the Pioneers' construction supplies and she had fantastic trading relations with them, to - again - the fact that she'd almost died for the project - to the fact that, within five minutes, she could have a fleet - a literal fleet of warships training their guns on Oberth.
That last one was, she thought, an argument most compelling. Part of her - a part of her she quickly pushed down - was inclined to simply order the boarding ships in-system to seize the research vessel Oberth by force and have Dr. Feynman dragged before her in irons. That was a sentiment every university student who'd ever had to deal with an insufferable professor would certainly sympathize with. She very much doubted that anyone she knew would even object, but she simply took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"In that case, Professor, what are you doing here; what do you need?" She somehow managed to maintain the composure she was projecting, she thought; though if she could involuntarily kill with her eyes over a comm screen, she was sure he'd fall dead with his head vaporized to a stump. Obliviously, or else with such a remarkable degree of awareness that he pretended to be oblivious, Dr. Feynman brightened and said, "we are currently lacking antimatter cells we need to complete our observations. If you can organize a delivery to this vessel, we'll be able to greatly advance our timetable."
Najia nodded, curtly, and cut the comm channel. She let out the seething huff she wasn't aware she had been holding in, and took a step back. "Captain, you have the Conn," she said, quietly. "I have the Conn," Captain Kevlin said, taking the center console as Najia walked to the aft railing of the 'smoke pit,' taking it in her hands and squeezing for a long few moments. "There's a conference room aboard, ma'am, if you need long-range communications capability," the captain said to her, with a glance over her shoulder. "Also, your two personal S-class craft were loaded onto our pads before you arrived. Should you require them." Najia recognized what the Captain was saying to her; she was semi-subtly suggeting that Najia take her anger somewhere the crew couldn't see it. Najia half-seethed at that, but she recognized the wisdom - and nodded. "Thank you, Captain. I do need the comms, in fact. Ace, Marta, with me please."
Najia paused for a moment, and leaned back on the wall of the conference room, taking a deep breath, huffing and letting it out slowly, hugging herself self-consciously. Less the 'ordering a beating to a prisoner' part, she had considered that very course of action. "Is that what you want me to do, Ace?" Ace let out a soft, hissing trill, and shook her head. "No. That would be... Very out-of-character for you, I think." She blinked at that, unsure why she didn't want to see Najia order that course of action, when it was what her piratical upbringing was telling her that Najia should do - would be within every right to do.
"Yeah, well... I considered it," Najia said, "less the beating part, anyway." "He's keepin' secrets from you. Spook stuff," Marta pointed out. "Considering how you almost died in the name of this Project Genesis, you damn well deserve some answers. Frankly, I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you did order the ship seized and searched for those answers. And if we took Doc Dick prisoner in the process, well... I mean, I wouldn't, you know, condone it if you happened to say that they shouldn't be too concerned with being gentle when they grabbed him, I don't think I'd raise a fuss about it, either."
Najia broke into a laugh, and then face-palmed, sighing heavily, and grinning. "No. As cathartic as it might be..." She sighed, heavily. "As deeply, deeply cathartic as it might be..." She trailed off, then shook her head vehemently. "No. He is a prick, though." Marta snorted. "No arguments from me there. I can't tell you how many times I daydreamed about force-feeding him his own lectern in class." She smirked at Najia. "And I know you felt the same way."
"Mmmhmm. So, fie." She pushed off from the wall, sat in the chair next to Ace, and pulled up the comms, back to the station, intending to explain the matter to Boso Ta. The Boron's head appeared in hologram above the table. "Ah, Assistant! It appears that they are researching the same anomaly which brought the station over here," Boso Ta said, preempting her. He continued on, quickly, "Most of the gravimetric charge dispersed during that event, but they brought quite an array of equipment to examine the traces. Let us hope that this satisfies their curiosity and leads to their departure." Najia snorted at that. "Don't bet on it. I know this asshole, he's... Well, he's up to something. I'll arrange to deliver him the stuff he wants and get this moving, but, don't get your hopes up." She sighed, and decided to be nicer to Boso Ta, if only because she had been reminded of just how not-nice Dr. Feynman had been to her. "Is there anything else you need, Boso Ta, that we can act on at present?"
"Ah, yes," Boso Ta said, brightly. "We are prepared for teleportation trials to begin. Well, we have already tested them," he admitted, "with nonsapient life forms; your Professor Nakagawa is quite the researcher. He and Station Manager Peterson have quite ably assisted my research here whilst you were off endeavoring in Avarice. We've been waiting to offer you the opportunity to be the first sapient teleportation subject of our revived teleport project."
Najia blinked. "Well..." She paused, and huffed, and the table's comm system chirr-upped. It was Peterson, and Najia added her to the conference call. "Tsukiko, what's this about me being a guinea pig?" Tsukiko let out a huff, interrupted in the middle of something she was about to say; her shoulders slumped, and she grinned, wryly. "Okay, not really a guinea pig," she said. "We've tested it in-system with mice, and dogs. We sedated them first," she said, "and then sent them through un-sedated, too. No ill effects we could find. I hate to say it, but Boso Ta is... Kind of a genius."
Najia held back a snort at that, and Tsukiko smirked at her. "So, it's safe, as near as anyone can tell?" "Oh yes. There's no evidence of any sort of atomic or molecular irregularities in scans of the animals taken on either side of the teleport, and a veterinary specialist who examined the animals before and afterwards indicated there was no sign of any lasting trauma from the experience," Boso Ta interrupted. "I felt that being the first sapient to go through the system would be your due, for the work you've put in to bringing us to the point where it is possible. Najia Takio; first human to use a teleport intentionally... Developed by us, anyway."
Najia snorted at that, and smirked. "I'll think about it. Do we need to retrofit anything?" "Oh, no," Tsukiko said. "Or, rather - and this is actually kind of mind-blowing - the actual teleport hardware itself is... Frankly miniscule. There is a refit needed, but it's already been done; we just started fitting them into the lifts of larger ships and the airlocks of Small-classes."
Najia blinked at that. She hadn't even known about it? "As a standard...?" "Indeed, as a standard option! This would, needless to say, greatly simplify personnel transfer logistics."
Najia laughed at that, and looked at Ace. Ace was stroking her crest, and looked... Thoughtful. Marta looked fascinated. "Shit, Ninja Taco, if you ain't gonna go for it, I will. But what'd you want, Professor Peterson?" Tsukiko laughed, blushing slightly. "Please, Marta, how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Tsukiko? You're harder to break of that habit than Najia was. Anyway, I called because the Golden Flea and the ship Ninja Taco are getting coded comms signals from the Empyrean Curs."
Ace let out a high-pitched trill at that. "Please, you must tunnel the comm from the Flea here with all haste." Tsukiko punched a button on her desk, out of view, and a holographic comms-panel came up in front of Ace. Ace studied it - it looked to Najia like gibberish - for a moment. "This is the recall signal. Maestro wants us back on the Arcadian Endeavour immediately, unless we are presently under surveillance by the authorities." Ace looked back to her. "It looks like the Maestro has his plans aligned and is ready to do something adventuresome."
Najia took in a deep breath, and nodded. "Alright." She squeezed her hand in a fist, and stood up. "We - or, I at least - are going to teleport back to the station. Boso Ta will get his test - and Boso Ta... Good work. Please proceed with teleportation research as far as you can take it." Boso Ta did a somersault in his tank, gleefully, at that request. "Oh, with pleasure, Assistant!" Najia looked at Ace. "Shall we try this teleport thing?" "Yes, let's!" Ace stood, and had a positively gleeful look. "This sounds... Fun."
Najia could only smile at that, and nod. "Right. Have the Flea and 'Chipmunk's' ships brought to the pads," she directed. "Actually, no; send all of my Chipmunk ships ahead; have them dock on the defense platform at the 18B gate, the Endeavor tends to hang out there anyway." She stood. "So... Just... The lift?" "Just the lift," Boso Ta confirmed. "Though, in the very near future, we suspect we'll be able to initiate the teleport from arbitrary locations."
Najia nodded. "Alright. A quick stop before we go." She smiled, heading for the lift.
Najia blinked. She blinked again. Then she laughed, hard, curling her arm around her belly, the other hand reaching out to rest on the hull next to the window. When she looked up, she grinned. "Okay, now I know you're not a spy. No spy with a brain in their head would say something that's as likely to get them fired as anything else." Selaia smirked at her. "Unless I'm a very good spy who's compiled a massive psych profile on you."
"Which I strongly doubt," Najia shot back. "But you're also not afraid of being fired." Selaia shrugged. "No, I'm not. Working in your shipyard is nice, yes; probably the second-best job I've ever had, but I'm not going to kiss your ass and be a yes-woman. I won't do that for anyone."
Najia straightened up, and peered into Selaia's eyes. They were, not hostile, but hard with resolve. She smirked slightly, and nodded. "Good. I don't like yes-women, they fuck things up. So, you think I'm, what -" "An irresponsible, idealistic child who managed to, through luck and probably some skill, wind up controlling a growing paramilitary business empire," Selaia shot back, walking around her, eyeing her up. Najia snorted at that. "Child? Seriously?"
"You're not a veteran. You're not a politician. You're not a businesswoman. You might be doing a credible job pretending to be those latter two, but you're a university student who got lucky, and is good at putting on faces." Najia bristled, but shoved it down; the Argon-born starship operator was abrasively blunt... But she was airing doubts Najia herself had. "Harsh," Najia said. "But... Not entirely untrue. So, why are you still here, if you don't like me?" There was a long, quiet moment. "I didn't say I didn't like you," Selaia said, softly. "But you are all of those things." She smirked.
"And you like that, then?" Najia smirked back. "What got you discharged, presumably dishonorably, from the Argon navy? Your big mouth that can't seem to shut up? Called a superior out on some bullshit that you couldn't stand to let stand?" "You'd think that, but no; fraternization." Selaia met her gaze, levelly. "Though I was on the thinnest of ice before that for, as you say, speaking my mind." She walked around Najia, appraising her. "Are you planning to sack me? Should I grab my go bag and begone?" Laughing, Najia shook her head. "No! I was actually going to ask if you wanted the ship for real, not just for the trials."
That, at least, took Kevlin aback for a moment. She walked away, paused, turned. Looked Najia up and down again, slowly. Najia felt self-conscious about it, raising her eyebrow, as the other woman crossed her arms over her chest. "Do I have to get on my knees for the job?" Najia blinked at that. It struck her out of left field, and she rocked back on her heels. "I - I'm sorry... What?" "Do you expect me to put out - sexually - for the position," Selaia repeated, slowly, her voice... Almost unnervingly neutral; uncannily, composedly so. Najia gawped at her for a long few moments, her mouth hanging open. Closed. Open. Closed. She reached up and rubbed her face with her hands for a few moments. "I... I'm sorry, I - what kind of - where did you - what gave you..." She took a deep breath. "No. Emphatically no. What on or off Earth gave you that idea?"
A few moments that seemed like almost an eternity passed, then Selaia shrugged, and seemed to shrink in a bit, relaxing. "Frankly? You have a reputation as a party girl that goes back to Segaris and has followed you here what with all the Segaris Pioneers you're hiring away, preferentially beginning with your old circle of school pals - with whom you're pretty obviously in a, what did the Segaris call it, 'polycule' with. Your politics can only be described as 'liberal to an extreme,' given the way you run your stations domestically, and I overheard a snippet of one of your small craft pilots describing, very bluntly, you going down on her in the cockpit, after offering her the job. She was discussing this with the captain of Fenrir, who compared notes with her. I took that to infer that you liked to be sexual with those captains you personally offered a job to."
Najia flushed red, her jaw dropping, and looked out the window again, at the gas giant hanging in the distance. She groaned-and-laughed at the same time. "Fatimah and Xiaowen... I am going to scold them for gossiping somewhere public," she said, laughing so hard it brought tears to her eyes, and rubbed them out of her eyes. Then she heaved a heavy sigh. "And that didn't chase you away?" "I didn't expect I'd ever run into you personally," the shipyard expert said, "and frankly, given the dizzying breadth of corruption a kid with suddenly-unlimited power could get up to, being a little skeevy with grown adults is on the low end." Najia face-palmed again, harder. "Alright, look," she said, turning around. "Fatimah, Xiaowen and I are old friends from Segaris University. Yes, we're a thing, a big, messy, multi-tentacular thing that we're not ashamed of, but you've rather taken the wrong end of the stick there. It was roleplay, what they were discussing, pure and simple. A few moments of kink snatched from the jaws of some really messy, pressy schedules, between attempts to make the galaxy an overall better place and setbacks. Yes, I pretended to abuse my position and money to make them, for want of another word, perform to keep their jobs. And later, Fatimah turned that exact position around on me, while Xiaowen tied me up and -"
"Enough," Selaia said, laughing; finally her composure had broken, and she'd flushed, chuckling and holding her hand up. "Okay, I get it... I apologize, miss Takio. Clearly, I was badly mistaken." "... Najia, please," Najia said, blushing and grinning. "Since you already know me so well anyway."
Selaia snorted at her, and smiled, wryly, nodding. Najia met her eyes, for a long few moments. "So, that fraternization that got you kicked out of the Argon military..." "When you're a military intelligence lieutenant and a famous, well-liked starship captain insinuates that your career might stall out by standing on your feet but might go places on your knees, you weigh your options," Selaia said, bluntly. She pushed off the desk, and pushed past Najia, staring out the window herself. "So I started delivering reports from under his desk instead of in front of it. I hated myself a little, at first... Then he started telling me to sit up on his desk after. That was a little..." She huffed. "I dunno. Then his wife found out."
Najia winced. "Oh, damn. And monogamy is a big thing in Argon space, I take it?" "Well, yes, but she didn't blow up quite like you're expecting. She blew up at him all right - for not telling her and sharing me with her immediately. I got caught by my immediate superior - the one who didn't like my mouth - going to her home, who tried to use the thing to bring me, the captain and his wife - a defense industrial contractor - down. They had political connections, and when all was said and done, I basically took the fall for everything. The Lt.C who found out I was basically being half-bribed, half-blackmailed into being a kinky, connected couple's toy got to quietly resign, the captain got promoted to commodore, and I got the option to take an administrative discharge with my commission revoked for conduct unbecoming, or get totally shafted at a court martial and take the fall for everything, doing prison time."
Najia blinked at that, and winced. "That's... That's..." "If you give me a pity look, I swear I will punch you in the loins and tell you to take your offer and shove it." Proper fire glared in the skipper's eyes as she turned to look at Najia. Najia stepped back, her jaw half-dropping, and then she shook her head, laughing. "No - no! I was saying, 'that's a shit sandwich.'"
Selaia snorted roughly at her, and turned back to look out the window. "Yeah... Yeah, it was. Anyway, that was then, then I wound up here. I signed on a freighter to forget my past, made port here, decided to take a job in the shipyard because it paid better than the freighter, was work I could do, and the habs here are wonderful. Then I found myself in front of you, and, well... Sorry, for thinking you might be kind of a hump."
Najia snorted. "But not so much of a hump that it was an automatic deal-breaker, huh?" She scratched her head, craning to look up at the Oberth hanging 'above' them. "Yes... No... Maybe? I don't honestly know what I was going to say if you said yes," the Argon woman admitted. "At first, when I first... When I found the whole 'prostitution is legal and regulated' here thing, I was skeeved out. I tried to leave, but, there weren't actually any ships that would take me that day. Then I wound up actually finding out that one of my coworkers - someone I was kind of chummy with - was turning tricks on the side, and... Well, we had a chat about it. He was from Segaris, and thought it was no big deal. And, well... I... Kind of... Had whored myself. I didn't feel good about it then. I still don't, but... I was... Well, willing, I suppose, to at least see if the offer you made, the way you made it, made me feel greasy about it like it did back then, or if it was... I don't know; open? Honest?"
"Well, I'm glad to have pleasantly surprised you - though I am totally going to kill Fatimah and Xiaowen for gossiping in public," Najia muttered without sincere heat, continuing "and no... I'm really not going to demand that someone put out for a job. You just... Impressed me with what I saw, in the admittedly very brief time that I've known you, but hey, I'm the kind of impulsive idiot who takes a leap of faith based on her gut instinct."
"Then, in that case..." Selaia turned to her, and smirked. "I'll skipper this ship for you for now, but I want something bigger when it's available. And not assigned to a reaction force or routine escort or defense duty or something." Najia snorted again, and laughed. She took a step back, and looked Selaia up and down again, smirking and grinning. The formerly-Argon military intelligence woman didn't look particularly extraordinary, but she shifted to stand at 'parade rest,' arms folding behind her back, eyes piercing and patient. "Setting terms, huh?" Najia smirked. She looked like she was considering it, but Selaia had impressed her - and she was also the first hire she'd had who had a formal military background outside the Segaris Pioneers. That perspective could be useful. She crossed her arms. "It just so happens I'm planning to build more ships," she said. "Some of them will be quite large." She extended her hand to Selaia, who took and shook it, firmly. "You wouldn't happen to be planning to construct a Centaur II Battleship, would you?" Selaia asked, grinning at her. Najia laughed. "That depends; if you have the full plans for a Centaur II* in your back pocket, I'll make sure you get the first one out of the yard."
Laughing now, the other woman reached back with her free hand, and dramatically patted one of her rear pockets. "Damn, I appear to have left those plans in my other trousers." She let go, grinning and shaking her head, sighing. "Sorry, again, for... You know." Najia shook her head. "Jeeze, are you ever gonna stop beating yourself up for it?" She shook her head, laughing exasperatedly. "I don't know," the Captain answered bluntly, laughing and wryly face-palming. "I thought for sure that you were either going to say yes, or you'd fire me on the spot for even asking. And now I'm asking myself, do I even deserve the post?"
"For, what? Being willing to entertain the idea?" Najia shook her head, and, taking a bit of a risk, reached out and laid her hand heavily on Captain Kevlin's shoulder, squeezing it. "It's not like I'm running a state military with rules against fraternization or anything. What I care about is; can you do it, and are you someone whose general... Mmmmmh... It's not exactly right to say 'someone whose morals I like,' so much as..." Najia trailed off for a moment; Ace's morals were certainly questionable, even by her standards - in some cases especially by her standards - but she had bonded with her, trusted her. "Someone I feel I can trust to continue to be someone whose actions I like. If you wanna be woo-woo about it, someone whose spirit I like. And you? I have a good feeling about you; I've been wrong before, but... Not often."
Selaia snorted at her, looking at her, then looking back to the window. "And you'd trust someone who was willing to go down on you to get the post?" "As its own qualification, no. But it doesn't make me distrust you," Najia said. "Especially with how you were prepared to evaluate how a 'yes' answer made you feel and then tell me to take that offer and shove it. So, we good? You want to skipper a ship for me?" "Just that simply? No... Strings attached?"
Najia laughed, and turned, leaning against the windowsill and looking at the other woman's head in profile, smirking. "Do you want strings attached?" Selaia started at the question, turning to look at her. She worked her mouth a few times, but couldn't seem to find words; she did, however, flush warmly, looking somewhat guilty, and swallowed. "Okay, look; you're conflicted, obviously." Najia took the professional spacer's hand, squeezing it carefully. "Like I said, the job is yours if you say yes, no strings attached. Completely separately from that, if you are interested in, you know, the idea of getting to know me more thoroughly, that's, you know, a matter we can bring up later. And if you're not, then I'm not going to mention it again."
Flushing, Selaia turned away from her, but kept her hands in hers; squeezing Najia's hand, tightly. "This is so fucking unprofessional of me to even be considering," she huffed. "Sure it is. And you impressed me by being able to put on and take off the 'Professional Selaia' almost instantly. I bet you could summon 'Captain Kevlin' back in a moment."
Selaia blinked at her, turning her head to look at her. She drew her hand back, took a deep breath, and faced the window again. Folded her arms behind her back, and executed a crisp right-face, her face schooled into stern impassivity. Her eyes were mirthful, but the rest was the very picture of the woman Najia had seen standing by at attention while she indulged herself in helming the ship personally. "Just like that," Najia said, grinning brightly. Her grin softened Selaia's demeanor, and she smiled in turn. "You're a deep well of passion who can put on 'military bearing' in a moment. And you're not a yes-woman. That's what I need."
Working her jaw slightly, Selaia relaxed, chuckling and sighing; she flushed again, and sighed. "Thank you," she said. "For the opportunity; for not getting pissed at me, for... Well, for being understanding, and tolerating me being an aggro neurotic about it when things didn't go the ways I'd seen them going." "It's fine," Najia assured her, holding her hands up, placatingly, and to her surprise, Selaia took them, squeezing. "I, um... I..." Flushing and looking away, Selaia swallowed. "Is that offer going to be on the table if I need to sleep on it?"
Najia laughed, grinning and shaking her head. "Oh, you're amazing. Yes, absolutely; sleep on it. Hell, I have to get going; places to go, pirate clans to infiltrate. Fun stuff! Speaking of which, please make the ship combat-ready and take it to the Windfall/Eighteen B hardpoint to dock. I'm not saying I expect anything to go down, but..."
"Understood." Selaia looked back up; she remained flushed, but smiled. "That, I can do." She squeezed Najia's hands, and Najia squeezed back, then let go. She pivoted on her heel, slipping out of the Ready Room and headed for the lift; Ace and Marta had disembarked said left and were standing to the side of the corridor, with Marta telling Ace an anecdote from when they were still young class-taking students at Segaris U. "Well that took longer than expected," Marta said. "Everything good?" "Everything's good," Najia said. "And we have a new captain. I figured she should keep Koshirae for now. So, how does this lift-teleporter work?"
"Like this," Ace said, stepping into the lift. She pressed a button, and Najia felt a strange, yet familiar sensation start to take hold; like the feeling she got just before the headquarters had transported itself. Like falling in all directions at once; then, with a bright flash, she found herself in another lift. Blinking, Najia felt herself up for a few moments, then strode out; they were on one of the landing pads at the headquarters, and standing above them was the Golden Flea. Her jaw dropped. "That... That... Was both incredible, and..." "Somehow underwhelming," Ace concluded with her. "It was not wholly without fanfare, yet somehow, I anticipated... More."
Najia nodded. "Right. So, how should we do this?" She looked to Ace, who smiled at her. "We stagger the arrival of Chipmunk's ships and mine in the vicinity of the Arcadian Endeavour, as though we had scattered, lain low, and were returning from somewhat different places." Najia nodded. "Right. And, I wonder... Would it be possible to fit the Flea with a teleporter?"
"Indeed it would," Ace agreed. "I asked Boso Ta if this was possible and he said it was very simple. He delivered the equipment to the Flea before I had finished asking, in fact, though I do not think I will be able to install it and fly home simultaneously." Najia grinned at Ace, and Ace grinned back at her, adding, "but, if you wished to fly back with me, one of us could tinker, while the other flies."
Najia grinned at Ace, and looked back to Marta. "That sounds good to me. Would you please take the Jackdaw and -" "Head on ahead while the two of you fiddle with Ace's ship and snuggle up naked while the ship is on autopilot?" Marta asked back, smirking. Najia flushed, glancing around; there was nobody within earshot. "Mmmm-hmmmm. You ain't foolin' noone, sister." Marta grasped Najia, pulled her close, and kissed her. Najia felt herself melt into the grasp, kissing back instinctually, embracing her oldest friend and turning her head to meet the kiss. Then it ended, Marta pulled back, and stepped back, looking down at Ace with her hands on her hips.
Ace blinked, peering up at the far-taller, stronger human. For a moment, she was concerned she would be threatened again, then she sucked in a sharp breath as Marta reached under her arms, grasped her chest, and simply lifted her to eye-level, then hugged her tightly. Ace let the breath out slowly, tentatively returning the embrace, and asked, "I... thought you distrusted me," she commented. "I did," Marta said, bluntly. "But Najia, apparently, took a chance on you, and figures you're alright. She's been right about that kind of thing a lot more often than I have." Marta squeezed her, and Ace sucked in a breath in alarm; the human could probably squeeze her so strongly that she passed out, yet she didn't squeeze so hard she hurt. It rather felt like being in Najia's arms, in fact. "So, I'm guessing you're one of us now. That ain't gonna be a problem with, you know, the whole pirate clan, is it?"
There it was; the proverbial shoe. Najia swallowed, glad that Ace couldn't see. She had been studiously not raising that point. "It will not be, provided... Provided I am not asked to betray the Curs. Membership in a pirate clan is... Voluntary, for the most part," Ace said. "I will not betray them." She looked back at Najia. "And, I think, neither will you." "But you are willing to leave them... For us?"
"For you," Ace said, reaching out with her tail, wrapping it around Najia's arm. "And, perhaps, the rest of you, in time," she added, looking at Marta, trilling softly. "But I will have to see the Maestro's big scheme through." "Family. I get that," Marta opined, setting Ace down. "Y'all fly safe. We'll filter in like a disorganized rabble."
Ace nodded, and turned to board the Flea. "What took you so long, anyway?" "Oh geeze." Najia followed the Teladi pilot. "It's a long story."
2023.03.26 12:16 NetInside9623 4am and pulled pork music
 | No FKS given pulled pork. 4am throwing the pork butt on. No spritz, no fcks. See you gals and guys on the other side. submitted by NetInside9623 to smoking [link] [comments] |
2023.03.26 12:06 polyaddictia Should I handle a toxic, unwelcoming work environment/coworker diplomatically with my SM as a mediator, or just quit (WARNING: LONG READ)
I’ve been working with Sherwin-Williams since September 2022. I got hired at the same time as a worker who will be henceforth be named as “Problematic Co-Worker” or “PC”.
I want to preface this by saying that I am not a confrontational person at all. I try and get along with every person I work with at every job. I am not the most extroverted person, but I think if you asked my previous co-workers at my old jobs they would say I am a chill enough guy who tries to stay out of drama. I was training at two other stores until I was transferred into a new store that opened in November 2022. It was at this store that I met my main group of co-workers I would be working with for the foreseeable future. I am on good terms with both of my managers, and one other co-worker, since I worked with him at another store beforehand.
This is also where I would began working with Problematic Co-worker. I do not think PC is a bad person, but frankly, she can be very rude and passive aggressive. It’s like she has had a chip on her shoulder against me for some reason since the beginning. The only reason I can think of is one time I saw a phone on a shelf unattended in the warehouse while I was stocking items. I looked at it to see if I recognized who’s it was, and I didn’t, so I left it alone, thinking whoever left it there left it in that spot for a reason. However, the next day it was told to me by PC that it was her phone and it was “fine” and that “it just got cracked”in a rather upset tone. I understand being upset over this, but I simply did not think it was my place to mess with anyone else’s phone, especially when they may have put it there on purpose.
Over the next few months working at this store and with PC, despite my efforts to be non-confrontational, and polite, I have still invoked her ire. I will admit, I have made some dumb mistakes in regards to matches, not understanding some POS functions, and handling some customer service situations. And believe me, I truly feel guilty for being dumb. However, PC will handle these situations by looking down on me like I’m a complete idiot. It’s demoralizing, to say the least. However, despite the harsh lessons, I believe I’ve learned a lot working at SW and I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m really enjoying my job and getting satisfaction out of helping customers.
All that said, PC continues to be rude to me over almost anything and everything. I do not talk back to her or get into any verbal altercations. I thought we were making some progress by working Saturday’s together alone (she’s the third key) and having some moments of relatability and amicability. However, a few weeks ago, I hit my head hard enough to draw blood across my brow. I felt very woozy and sleepy for a couple of days due to the concussion. When I had a bit of a communication misunderstanding with a customer on whether they wanted a match or “more of this paint” (they brought a half used five gallon in) and said customer had to clarify what he actually wanted, PC pulled me aside and told me “you need to wake the fuck up”.
As it turns out, a doctor’s visit did confirm I was experiencing post concussive syndrome, one symptom being excessive sleepiness. After I came home from that shift I passed out for a solid 14 hours.
I had become used to dealing with this behavior from PC as part of her temperament. Until a couple days ago, the toxicity reached its peak. I was dollying a three stack of fives on truck day. While unteething the stack, the top two tipped over. I panicked, thinking I caused a spill or leak. Thankfully, the fives were not compromised. No paint was spilt. It happens.
I guess PC saw or heard this. I quickly find myself in a catch-22, damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. She begins to grill me over this. If I say yes, I did tip a couple of fives over, my head gets chewed off before I can even explain myself. If I lie and say no, she will see right through my BS and get even more ammo to use against me. I feel like an immoral asshole, but since I felt like I fucked either way, I maintained my innocence.
We tried to avoid each other after this SNAFU. I took an order over the phone for a contractor. 16 gallons in total IIRC. I put in the order, tint it and shake it all by myself, set it aside, and get back to work. Contractor arrives. Now here’s the pettiness that really just made me wanna quit on the spot. PC insists on not only billing him out, but rolling out his order to his truck, in the typical passive aggressive manner. It’s at this point, 10 minutes left in my shift, that I decide to just quit. I clock out, explain to my very kind and understanding SM that I’m quitting because I can’t work in a toxic unwelcoming environment anymore. I believe my SM says she understands (she probably got both sides of the story), and lets me leave for the day.
I know I am not wholly innocent here, I definitely fucked up a few times. But I simply can’t handle working with someone that hates my guts and makes me feel unwelcome working at this store, despite my efforts to be a better worker. When I checked my schedule and saw that I was supposed to work this Saturday with just me and PC, open to close, I decided I’d rather de-escalate by calling my manage and explaining that I wasn’t showing up and I would be emailing her a formal notice of resignation.
After a day of clearing my head off and some deliberation, I’ve considered taking to my manager again, and organizing a sit down with Problematic Coworker so we can reconcile our disagreements, agree to a truce, and hopefully work together to create a more positive workplace environment, settled with diplomacy and mutual respect. Any advice on how to handle this, or should I just up and quit for better employment opportunities?
submitted by polyaddictia to sherwinwilliams [link] [comments]
I want to preface this by saying that I am not a confrontational person at all. I try and get along with every person I work with at every job. I am not the most extroverted person, but I think if you asked my previous co-workers at my old jobs they would say I am a chill enough guy who tries to stay out of drama. I was training at two other stores until I was transferred into a new store that opened in November 2022. It was at this store that I met my main group of co-workers I would be working with for the foreseeable future. I am on good terms with both of my managers, and one other co-worker, since I worked with him at another store beforehand.
This is also where I would began working with Problematic Co-worker. I do not think PC is a bad person, but frankly, she can be very rude and passive aggressive. It’s like she has had a chip on her shoulder against me for some reason since the beginning. The only reason I can think of is one time I saw a phone on a shelf unattended in the warehouse while I was stocking items. I looked at it to see if I recognized who’s it was, and I didn’t, so I left it alone, thinking whoever left it there left it in that spot for a reason. However, the next day it was told to me by PC that it was her phone and it was “fine” and that “it just got cracked”in a rather upset tone. I understand being upset over this, but I simply did not think it was my place to mess with anyone else’s phone, especially when they may have put it there on purpose.
Over the next few months working at this store and with PC, despite my efforts to be non-confrontational, and polite, I have still invoked her ire. I will admit, I have made some dumb mistakes in regards to matches, not understanding some POS functions, and handling some customer service situations. And believe me, I truly feel guilty for being dumb. However, PC will handle these situations by looking down on me like I’m a complete idiot. It’s demoralizing, to say the least. However, despite the harsh lessons, I believe I’ve learned a lot working at SW and I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m really enjoying my job and getting satisfaction out of helping customers.
All that said, PC continues to be rude to me over almost anything and everything. I do not talk back to her or get into any verbal altercations. I thought we were making some progress by working Saturday’s together alone (she’s the third key) and having some moments of relatability and amicability. However, a few weeks ago, I hit my head hard enough to draw blood across my brow. I felt very woozy and sleepy for a couple of days due to the concussion. When I had a bit of a communication misunderstanding with a customer on whether they wanted a match or “more of this paint” (they brought a half used five gallon in) and said customer had to clarify what he actually wanted, PC pulled me aside and told me “you need to wake the fuck up”.
As it turns out, a doctor’s visit did confirm I was experiencing post concussive syndrome, one symptom being excessive sleepiness. After I came home from that shift I passed out for a solid 14 hours.
I had become used to dealing with this behavior from PC as part of her temperament. Until a couple days ago, the toxicity reached its peak. I was dollying a three stack of fives on truck day. While unteething the stack, the top two tipped over. I panicked, thinking I caused a spill or leak. Thankfully, the fives were not compromised. No paint was spilt. It happens.
I guess PC saw or heard this. I quickly find myself in a catch-22, damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. She begins to grill me over this. If I say yes, I did tip a couple of fives over, my head gets chewed off before I can even explain myself. If I lie and say no, she will see right through my BS and get even more ammo to use against me. I feel like an immoral asshole, but since I felt like I fucked either way, I maintained my innocence.
We tried to avoid each other after this SNAFU. I took an order over the phone for a contractor. 16 gallons in total IIRC. I put in the order, tint it and shake it all by myself, set it aside, and get back to work. Contractor arrives. Now here’s the pettiness that really just made me wanna quit on the spot. PC insists on not only billing him out, but rolling out his order to his truck, in the typical passive aggressive manner. It’s at this point, 10 minutes left in my shift, that I decide to just quit. I clock out, explain to my very kind and understanding SM that I’m quitting because I can’t work in a toxic unwelcoming environment anymore. I believe my SM says she understands (she probably got both sides of the story), and lets me leave for the day.
I know I am not wholly innocent here, I definitely fucked up a few times. But I simply can’t handle working with someone that hates my guts and makes me feel unwelcome working at this store, despite my efforts to be a better worker. When I checked my schedule and saw that I was supposed to work this Saturday with just me and PC, open to close, I decided I’d rather de-escalate by calling my manage and explaining that I wasn’t showing up and I would be emailing her a formal notice of resignation.
After a day of clearing my head off and some deliberation, I’ve considered taking to my manager again, and organizing a sit down with Problematic Coworker so we can reconcile our disagreements, agree to a truce, and hopefully work together to create a more positive workplace environment, settled with diplomacy and mutual respect. Any advice on how to handle this, or should I just up and quit for better employment opportunities?
2023.03.26 11:45 Firegoat1 TOC4 --- the early watch, discussion and spoilers ..... The Super 16 Survivors
Well, it's Sunday morning and another early drop of TOC 4 by Discoverplus. You know the drill ... I'll talk the line up, the food the judges and scoring, but won't reveal the winners here, but they will likely be in the comments so read at your own risk. It's a bittersweet review for me, as my beloved Kansas State Wildcats just tumbled out of the real March Madness yesterday. But.... the TOC must go on! And tonight's TOC is going to be brutal as I have way too many favorites in the game on this side of the bracket.
So here we go. All the chefs walk in as usual and Guy shows what happened last week on the bracket board. Here comes the audience!
Round One: "Mayday" Mei Lin vs. "Tiff" Tiffany Derry. Seed three: Mei Lin vs. Seed two Tiffany Derry. Wow. Guy is REALLY solid on this "May Day" nick name. Randomizer is still two proteins with surf and turf and the time is still 35 minutes. Tiger prawns, double cut pork chops, campfire pie iron, holiday supper and double move down. Tiffany and Mei have to agree together to move two categories down one. They now get flat iron steak instead of the pork chops and get weeknight dinner instead of holiday supper. Also these Prawns are HUGE.... they are like giant lobster tails with legs. Tiffany is making a Suya-crusted flat iron steak with prawn and couscous stew. She draws Simon. She explains what Suya spice blend is. Sounds delicious. Mei is making a Vietnamese rice bowl with fried tiger prawn egg rolls and Thai chili sirloin steak. She draws Justin. Mei is using the pie iron for her garlic while Tiffany uses it to char her tomatoes. We get a shot of Sasto, Shota and Hunter in the stew room watching. That would be a fun group to hang out with. Weirdly one of my favorite parts of this show is when they show you little bits of the judges like legs walking or hands buttoning a cardigan and I try to guess the judges. ....
And now, here come the judges: Michelle Bernstein, Jonathan Waxman and Rocco DiSpirito. Justin presents Mei's dish first. Michelle loves it because she eats something like it once a week. She likes the crunch on the prawn. She thinks the meat may or may not have too much sodium. Jonathan thinks it has the right amount. Rocco loves the steak. He says he isn't disappointed at all other than maybe she could have made a better use of the pie iron. Scoring is the same.. 50 points for taste, 30 for use of the randomizer and 20 for presentation. Simon presents Tiffany's dish. Rocco says it is a thoughtful and considered dish. And a great job on the steak. He seems to want more seasoning but likes it a lot. Michelle thinks the couscous is overcooked. She thinks it is fun. She doesn't like the dill. Jonathan says the steak is perfect. He doesn't think the couscous is overcooked but thinks it is a little bland. Scores are 85 vs. 92! The winner of this round will take on either Shota or Sasto next round.
Round Two: First seed Tobias Dorzon vs. fourth seed Karen Aknowicz. He beat Karen last year in TOC by a two point difference. Nicknames here are the Fox for Karen and the Huncho for Tobias. Randomizer: Crab meat, filet mignon, rotisserie oven, candlelit dinner, and high score respin. Tobias gets the respin. He spins equipment and gets rotisserie oven! Tobias draws Simon and he is cooking a seared filet mignon with crab and white wine cream sauce. Maneet and Stephanie are watching in the screening room. Karen is doing a play on a classic old-school steakhouse. She is making a spanakopita style crab bearnaise and butter basted filet mignon. She roasts onions in the rotisserie and then adds scraps of the steak into the basket to flavor the onions. Tobias finishes his steaks in the rotisserie oven after searing them. Karen is putting the crab into her creamed spinach. Justin seems to like what karen is doing. Okay this round is just making me freakin' hungry. Tobias was plating til the end so had no time to clean his plates. Judging: Justin presents Karen's dish first. They do a shot of Tobias in his trailer watching and he says "is that a candlelit dinner in a cereal bowl?" Michelle said looking at it it did not speak to her until she had a bite. She says it has a seductive romanticism. Jonathan says the spinach is exquisite, he thinks the steak is a little too thick cute. Rocco says it tastes like a candlelit dinner more than it looks and loves the onion. I'm guessing she's gonna get dinged on presentation points. Simon presents Tobias's dish. Michelle says the cook has a good grasp on meat cooking. She doesn't think it is the most creative. Rocco liked a plated dish. He thought the filet was undercooked. Jonathan thought his dish had too much meat. Score: 80 vs. 82 close round. The winner of this round will take on either Stephanie or Maneet.
Round three: And this will be my heartbreak round because I love both of these chefs from watching them on Top Chef. Eighth seed Shota Nakajima vs. fourth seed Mustache Joe Sasto. Mustache Joe's outfit is giving me giggles. Guy's nicknames are the Ninja and of course Mustache Joe. Guy says Shota would get the nicest guy award but Joe Sasto is also the nicest guy. (this sure seems true at least from what I've seen of them both in the past.. I don't want either one to lose.) Randomizer: halibut, hanger steak, cast iron multicooker, go to take out and move one up. Both chefs have to decide a which to move. They agree to move the multicooker to the meat tenderizer. Shota draws Justin (who apparently can speak a little Japanese) and is making a spin on Katsu Sando a Japanese fried pork cutlet sandwich -- he's doing a beef Katsu Sando with halibut twist inside. Joe draws Simon and is making Hanger Steak Dan Dan noodles with a halibut egg roll with duck sauce and Chinese hot mustard. Joe hits the garlic with the meat tenderizer and later uses it on the apricots. Shota uses the tenderizer on the steak. Katsu stands for "winning" in Japanese. We'll see if it holds up here. Shota is using both the steak and the halibut in two ways to try to win the randomizer points. Both chefs are using Kewpie mayo. Joe is doing some creative plating but is worried he doesn't have enough steak on the dish. It appears Shota is plating down to the wire. Judging: Justin presents.... Guy calls him the Wolfman. ? He does Shota's dish. Rocco says it is all working and he nailed the take out style. Jonathan loves it, his only downside is not enough ginger. Michelle says it is cravable. She says if she was super picky you can't find the halibut. Simon presents for Joe. Rocco saysit is a fun play on take out, but doesn't see it as a real take out dish. Jonathan disagrees and says it is take out. He doesn't get the use of the meat tenderizer. Michelle says it is a great take out dish and does get the tenderizer on the halibut. She isn't getting enough hanger steak. Score: 84 vs. 80.
Round four billed as the highlight of the night... altho how it will beat the last two rounds I don't know. Three seed Stephanie Izard, the OG Iron Chef vs. second seed Maneet Chauhan the only TOC champion still in the tournament. Randomizer: Calamari tubes and tentacles, rack of lamb, mortar and pestle, lunch special and surf or turf respin. They respin the surf. and.... get dover sole which both of them said they did not want. The dover sole is whole, so they have to break it down. Maneet is making a lamb meatball and tikka masala bunny chow with dover sole fish soup. Stephanie is makin a roasted lamb and cover sole sandwich with ceviche with a jus on the side. Stephanie says she's never broken down a dover sole before. Justin is presenting for Stephanie and Simon for Maneet. Maneet uses the mortar and pestle to grind spices. stephanie is using a sauce made by Shota which is kind of a fun shout out. Stephanie uses the mortar to make guacamole. Maneet's sandwich is very cute. Stephanie seems to struggle a little at the end. Judging: Simon presents first for Maneet. Rocco thought making soup out of the halibut was ambitious. He loved the soup and sandwich special. Michelle thought the fish chunks were too small but she thought it was creative. Jonathan said it was delicious but not the best use of the sole. He loved the lamb meatball. Justin presents for Stephanie and tells them to pour the jus on the sandwich. Michelle says the dipping gravy is messy but the flavor is ahome run. She says the lamb is very rare, she likes the cruchy hand made tortilla in the middle of the sandwich. Jonathan says he's missing the sole flavor. Rocco says it is cravable and balanced and "bad ass." Scoring: 86 v. 84.
That's it for tonight. I picked 3 of the 4 winners so it wasn't too bad. I'm definitely looking forward to the elite eight round next week. But this was a great match up from beginning to end. I think you will enjoy watching it.
submitted by Firegoat1 to foodnetwork [link] [comments]
So here we go. All the chefs walk in as usual and Guy shows what happened last week on the bracket board. Here comes the audience!
Round One: "Mayday" Mei Lin vs. "Tiff" Tiffany Derry. Seed three: Mei Lin vs. Seed two Tiffany Derry. Wow. Guy is REALLY solid on this "May Day" nick name. Randomizer is still two proteins with surf and turf and the time is still 35 minutes. Tiger prawns, double cut pork chops, campfire pie iron, holiday supper and double move down. Tiffany and Mei have to agree together to move two categories down one. They now get flat iron steak instead of the pork chops and get weeknight dinner instead of holiday supper. Also these Prawns are HUGE.... they are like giant lobster tails with legs. Tiffany is making a Suya-crusted flat iron steak with prawn and couscous stew. She draws Simon. She explains what Suya spice blend is. Sounds delicious. Mei is making a Vietnamese rice bowl with fried tiger prawn egg rolls and Thai chili sirloin steak. She draws Justin. Mei is using the pie iron for her garlic while Tiffany uses it to char her tomatoes. We get a shot of Sasto, Shota and Hunter in the stew room watching. That would be a fun group to hang out with. Weirdly one of my favorite parts of this show is when they show you little bits of the judges like legs walking or hands buttoning a cardigan and I try to guess the judges. ....
And now, here come the judges: Michelle Bernstein, Jonathan Waxman and Rocco DiSpirito. Justin presents Mei's dish first. Michelle loves it because she eats something like it once a week. She likes the crunch on the prawn. She thinks the meat may or may not have too much sodium. Jonathan thinks it has the right amount. Rocco loves the steak. He says he isn't disappointed at all other than maybe she could have made a better use of the pie iron. Scoring is the same.. 50 points for taste, 30 for use of the randomizer and 20 for presentation. Simon presents Tiffany's dish. Rocco says it is a thoughtful and considered dish. And a great job on the steak. He seems to want more seasoning but likes it a lot. Michelle thinks the couscous is overcooked. She thinks it is fun. She doesn't like the dill. Jonathan says the steak is perfect. He doesn't think the couscous is overcooked but thinks it is a little bland. Scores are 85 vs. 92! The winner of this round will take on either Shota or Sasto next round.
Round Two: First seed Tobias Dorzon vs. fourth seed Karen Aknowicz. He beat Karen last year in TOC by a two point difference. Nicknames here are the Fox for Karen and the Huncho for Tobias. Randomizer: Crab meat, filet mignon, rotisserie oven, candlelit dinner, and high score respin. Tobias gets the respin. He spins equipment and gets rotisserie oven! Tobias draws Simon and he is cooking a seared filet mignon with crab and white wine cream sauce. Maneet and Stephanie are watching in the screening room. Karen is doing a play on a classic old-school steakhouse. She is making a spanakopita style crab bearnaise and butter basted filet mignon. She roasts onions in the rotisserie and then adds scraps of the steak into the basket to flavor the onions. Tobias finishes his steaks in the rotisserie oven after searing them. Karen is putting the crab into her creamed spinach. Justin seems to like what karen is doing. Okay this round is just making me freakin' hungry. Tobias was plating til the end so had no time to clean his plates. Judging: Justin presents Karen's dish first. They do a shot of Tobias in his trailer watching and he says "is that a candlelit dinner in a cereal bowl?" Michelle said looking at it it did not speak to her until she had a bite. She says it has a seductive romanticism. Jonathan says the spinach is exquisite, he thinks the steak is a little too thick cute. Rocco says it tastes like a candlelit dinner more than it looks and loves the onion. I'm guessing she's gonna get dinged on presentation points. Simon presents Tobias's dish. Michelle says the cook has a good grasp on meat cooking. She doesn't think it is the most creative. Rocco liked a plated dish. He thought the filet was undercooked. Jonathan thought his dish had too much meat. Score: 80 vs. 82 close round. The winner of this round will take on either Stephanie or Maneet.
Round three: And this will be my heartbreak round because I love both of these chefs from watching them on Top Chef. Eighth seed Shota Nakajima vs. fourth seed Mustache Joe Sasto. Mustache Joe's outfit is giving me giggles. Guy's nicknames are the Ninja and of course Mustache Joe. Guy says Shota would get the nicest guy award but Joe Sasto is also the nicest guy. (this sure seems true at least from what I've seen of them both in the past.. I don't want either one to lose.) Randomizer: halibut, hanger steak, cast iron multicooker, go to take out and move one up. Both chefs have to decide a which to move. They agree to move the multicooker to the meat tenderizer. Shota draws Justin (who apparently can speak a little Japanese) and is making a spin on Katsu Sando a Japanese fried pork cutlet sandwich -- he's doing a beef Katsu Sando with halibut twist inside. Joe draws Simon and is making Hanger Steak Dan Dan noodles with a halibut egg roll with duck sauce and Chinese hot mustard. Joe hits the garlic with the meat tenderizer and later uses it on the apricots. Shota uses the tenderizer on the steak. Katsu stands for "winning" in Japanese. We'll see if it holds up here. Shota is using both the steak and the halibut in two ways to try to win the randomizer points. Both chefs are using Kewpie mayo. Joe is doing some creative plating but is worried he doesn't have enough steak on the dish. It appears Shota is plating down to the wire. Judging: Justin presents.... Guy calls him the Wolfman. ? He does Shota's dish. Rocco says it is all working and he nailed the take out style. Jonathan loves it, his only downside is not enough ginger. Michelle says it is cravable. She says if she was super picky you can't find the halibut. Simon presents for Joe. Rocco saysit is a fun play on take out, but doesn't see it as a real take out dish. Jonathan disagrees and says it is take out. He doesn't get the use of the meat tenderizer. Michelle says it is a great take out dish and does get the tenderizer on the halibut. She isn't getting enough hanger steak. Score: 84 vs. 80.
Round four billed as the highlight of the night... altho how it will beat the last two rounds I don't know. Three seed Stephanie Izard, the OG Iron Chef vs. second seed Maneet Chauhan the only TOC champion still in the tournament. Randomizer: Calamari tubes and tentacles, rack of lamb, mortar and pestle, lunch special and surf or turf respin. They respin the surf. and.... get dover sole which both of them said they did not want. The dover sole is whole, so they have to break it down. Maneet is making a lamb meatball and tikka masala bunny chow with dover sole fish soup. Stephanie is makin a roasted lamb and cover sole sandwich with ceviche with a jus on the side. Stephanie says she's never broken down a dover sole before. Justin is presenting for Stephanie and Simon for Maneet. Maneet uses the mortar and pestle to grind spices. stephanie is using a sauce made by Shota which is kind of a fun shout out. Stephanie uses the mortar to make guacamole. Maneet's sandwich is very cute. Stephanie seems to struggle a little at the end. Judging: Simon presents first for Maneet. Rocco thought making soup out of the halibut was ambitious. He loved the soup and sandwich special. Michelle thought the fish chunks were too small but she thought it was creative. Jonathan said it was delicious but not the best use of the sole. He loved the lamb meatball. Justin presents for Stephanie and tells them to pour the jus on the sandwich. Michelle says the dipping gravy is messy but the flavor is ahome run. She says the lamb is very rare, she likes the cruchy hand made tortilla in the middle of the sandwich. Jonathan says he's missing the sole flavor. Rocco says it is cravable and balanced and "bad ass." Scoring: 86 v. 84.
That's it for tonight. I picked 3 of the 4 winners so it wasn't too bad. I'm definitely looking forward to the elite eight round next week. But this was a great match up from beginning to end. I think you will enjoy watching it.
2023.03.26 11:14 drunk_sandman First time finishing in the oven, pulled pork
 | I usually smoke my butts through and through, but this was for my daughter's bday party that started at 2pm and I wanted it to be done and rested by that point. All in all I'm happy with the results! submitted by drunk_sandman to smoking [link] [comments] |
2023.03.26 11:00 LIS1050010 Guide: Smart farming on a large lot
The desire to own land has been moving the prepping and off-grid communities for generations. Having a few acres that give you room to do almost anything you can think of is a dream for many of us. Even more, achieving self-sufficiency on such a lot, and having a large pond or a small woodlot, is the ultimate life goal for some.
Owning half an acre or more provides you with endless possibilities when it comes to farming and you must become as efficient as possible to avoid wasting time and resources. With a large lot, you just won’t have the time to do everything you want, and you will keep yourself busy all day trying to cover everything that needs to be done.
If you plan to build a fence, you will need various tools to do the job right. A 13-pounds maul is an indispensable tool for wooden posts, and if you use fence wire, you’ll need wire stretchers.
The more fencing you have; the more work will be needed to keep vegetation from growing up in the fence lines. In such a case, a string trimmer becomes mandatory to clear the weeds.
Pulling and lifting jobs become impossible chores without a hand winch, a tool that becomes indispensable at times.
Most people go with the two-story, gable-roofed barn since this design passed the efficiency and time-lasting tests. Some folks incorporate their chicken coop into their barn, especially if one side of the building provides access to a pasture area. Also, keep in mind that your barn should be connected to a corral. By doing so, you will be able to move livestock between pens but also load them into a truck with ease.
Building a barn is not easy since you’re dealing with a large construction project, and it becomes a major responsibility. Your barn needs to be strong enough to hold a heavy load in the upper loft and be able to also keep the elements out.
When you decide to build a barn, look up the term “pole barns” since these empty shells can be erected for a reasonable price. Once you have the framework up and the roof in place, you will also be able to work on the rest of the barn as time and budget allow it.
There are all sorts of DIY YouTube videos that show you how to build inexpensive greenhouses. Having a greenhouse allows you to start the growing season early if you start your plants inside that greenhouse. It will also allow you to start potted plants, bedding plants, and pretty much anything you can think of without worrying about the late frost.
Having enough room allows you to experiment with different animals, crops, and various ways to monetize your operations. You will soon discover which works best for your situation and how much time you must spend to achieve a successful backyard farm.
The tricky thing with pastures is establishing how much pasture you allow per animal. This means that any given area can support a maximum number of animals. If you have a real winter with heavy frost and temperatures below the freezing point, for example, you will need to supplement your animals’ diet with hat, grains, or meal.
The quality of your pasture also impacts the number of animals it can sustain. To establish how good the land in your area is, you should ask local farmers for their opinions. Those with experience will be able to provide you with tips on how to increase the soil quality, what works best, and what doesn’t.
A one-acre orchard can host around 100 standard-sized fruit trees that will bear fruit in five years. On the other hand, you could have between 400 to 600 dwarf fruit trees on that same acre, and they will bear fruit starting with the second or third year.
However, if you already have a stand of timber on the land you bought, you can improve its growth, and in return, you will get some free firewood. Before deciding if you want to heat your home using only firewood, you must establish how well insulated your home is, how the climate in your area will affect your wood supply, and how efficient your wood burner is.
Also, you should consider the growth rate and the actual burning rate of the various species of trees available on your lot. To get a general idea of how much land is needed to grow your own firewood, you can establish how much wood you are using per year and compare that number with the standing timber you currently have on your property.
If you manage to successfully grow your own feed, you’ll need a place to store it. So, here is where that barn comes into play.
Traditionally, field corn is kept in whole ears in corncribs, and smaller grains are kept in large cans or sacks. Sorghum cane is made into silage (high moisture fermented feed) by packing it into plastic bags and letting anaerobic fermentation do the work. Some folks also opt for silage instead of hay since it is much more nutritious for their livestock, so you might want to consider this option as well.
Some homesteaders grow beets as livestock feed since they hold their nutrients well during storage. But you have to consider that growing and harvesting beets is a much more sustained effort compared to other feed crops.
So, eight hours will be pretty much all the time you need to have your pond built. However, you must make sure you have clay-like soil in the area where you plan to create the pond; otherwise, you will have to line it with plastic or bentonite clay.
Also, consider that your land needs enough slope so that rain runoff can be diverted and keep your pond full. Once you have it filled with rainwater, you also have to stock it with fish and wait for the fish population to establish. Some large ponds won’t require feeding the fish, but in general, the fish will grow much faster if you take care of their needs in the first two years.
Miniature cattle are the micro version of the most common cattle breeds such as Holstein, Angus, Jersey, Hereford, but also Longhorn and Brahman. They can provide the right amount of meat for your family, and as far as your milk needs go, a miniature Holstein can give up to 3 gallons of milk per day.
To establish how many sheep you can raise, you can use the old rule stating that eight sheep can be raised on the land needed by one Jersey cow. Also, since you will use manure as fertilizer, you should know that one sheep can produce more than a ton of manure per year, and in general, sheep manure is a much better fertilizer compared to cattle manure.
One alternative for your animal fiber-producing project would be to raise alpacas. The value of alpaca fiber is unmatched due to its similarity to wool but also because it’s less itch and has hypoallergenic properties. You can go with the Suri breed with long and straight hair or pick the Huacaya breed with wooly and dense hair.
Some farm-friendly communities will allow you to grow everything except pigs since they “smell bad.” However, this is a misconception, and pigs are usually clean animals if they are not crammed together in small spaces. Pen pigs stand up to their reputation in terms of smell and cleanliness, so free-range pigs (pigs raised on pastures and in woodlands) may be the way to go if you have the available space.
Small tractors can be used to pull trailers full of heavy things, and they have gears for various tasks. Some of the more popular implements are plow, grader blade, mower, bush-hog, log splitter, loader, and post-hole auger.
Tractors provide you with many options, and you can do a lot of jobs that you won’t consider until the time to do so comes. They are well-built, and they aren’t cheap since they are considered universal pieces of machinery or tools. That said, you can opt for a good used tractor if money is a problem.
If you have five acres or less, you can also go with a smaller tractor, and you can pick an import one from Japan, Korea, China, or India. Or you can look for an old Ford N-serries. Even so, there are pros and cons to each.
The import ones are newer and more modern and have various features such as very low range transmissions and many forward speeds, modern hydraulics, and a four-wheel-drive system that will prove quite handy. However, the more complex they are, the harder it will be to fix them.
On the other hand, the Ford N-series are much simpler, and they allow you to fix almost everything yourself, provided you have the owner’s manual and the wits to do it. Even if the Fords are old models, there are many out there in perfect running condition, and their simplicity in design makes them a great purchase. Parts are cheap and easy to install, and you can get a good used one for half the price you will pay for an import one.
Let’s say you need to move and place something within an inch or so of a certain area. Using a tractor requires complex maneuvers to do the job right but using a skid loader will make working in one spot a precise and fast operation.
And just like tractors, such types of machinery have all sorts of available implements that will fit on the front. This alone makes them ideal for lifting and moving things. They can do various bulldozer-like jobs if they are equipped with the proper implements, and some people will even dig their own ponds using nothing more than a skid-steer loader. You can also find implements such as tree shears, stump grinders, buckets, and grapples for your loaders.
Even more, these are the preferred machines and a treasured investment for those farming in their late years since they can handle a lot of lifting and portability tasks.
Having the right tools and the proper knowledge to use them to handle various jobs also becomes mandatory on a large farm. You will spend your time more efficiently, and you will be able to take care of more and more tasks if you have the tools that can replace manual labor. The possibilities are endless, but you need to consider your abilities and limitations when farming on a large lot.
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submitted by LIS1050010 to selfreliance [link] [comments]
Owning half an acre or more provides you with endless possibilities when it comes to farming and you must become as efficient as possible to avoid wasting time and resources. With a large lot, you just won’t have the time to do everything you want, and you will keep yourself busy all day trying to cover everything that needs to be done.
Tools are needed
If you have a plot of land ranging from one to five acres, you will need certain tools to make your life easier. For example, a chainsaw can be used for both landscaping jobs and rough carpentry if needed.If you plan to build a fence, you will need various tools to do the job right. A 13-pounds maul is an indispensable tool for wooden posts, and if you use fence wire, you’ll need wire stretchers.
The more fencing you have; the more work will be needed to keep vegetation from growing up in the fence lines. In such a case, a string trimmer becomes mandatory to clear the weeds.
Pulling and lifting jobs become impossible chores without a hand winch, a tool that becomes indispensable at times.
A sturdy barn
As time goes by, you will acquire more and more tools, and you’ll find that a barn will become the ideal place to store all those tools. Even more, it will keep feed dry, it can host machinery and protect it from the elements, and it can accommodate your livestock. It can host a milking parlor for goats and pretty much all the utilities you can think of.Most people go with the two-story, gable-roofed barn since this design passed the efficiency and time-lasting tests. Some folks incorporate their chicken coop into their barn, especially if one side of the building provides access to a pasture area. Also, keep in mind that your barn should be connected to a corral. By doing so, you will be able to move livestock between pens but also load them into a truck with ease.
Building a barn is not easy since you’re dealing with a large construction project, and it becomes a major responsibility. Your barn needs to be strong enough to hold a heavy load in the upper loft and be able to also keep the elements out.
When you decide to build a barn, look up the term “pole barns” since these empty shells can be erected for a reasonable price. Once you have the framework up and the roof in place, you will also be able to work on the rest of the barn as time and budget allow it.
Building a greenhouse
Plastic sheeting, matched with plastic plumbing pipes and some scrap wood, allows you to build a cheap, small greenhouse that can host all your bedding plants and the seedlings you plan on selling.There are all sorts of DIY YouTube videos that show you how to build inexpensive greenhouses. Having a greenhouse allows you to start the growing season early if you start your plants inside that greenhouse. It will also allow you to start potted plants, bedding plants, and pretty much anything you can think of without worrying about the late frost.
Using your land efficiently
Having five acres provides you with the opportunity to take on just about any agricultural project you want. You will also be able to experiment with various projects, and you will discover that some will have greater success than others.Having enough room allows you to experiment with different animals, crops, and various ways to monetize your operations. You will soon discover which works best for your situation and how much time you must spend to achieve a successful backyard farm.
Setting a pasture
Some of the acreages on your farm should be used to establish a pasture for large meat-producing animals such as small cattle, pigs, sheep, alpacas. Anything other than chicken and rabbits could feed off this pasture.The tricky thing with pastures is establishing how much pasture you allow per animal. This means that any given area can support a maximum number of animals. If you have a real winter with heavy frost and temperatures below the freezing point, for example, you will need to supplement your animals’ diet with hat, grains, or meal.
The quality of your pasture also impacts the number of animals it can sustain. To establish how good the land in your area is, you should ask local farmers for their opinions. Those with experience will be able to provide you with tips on how to increase the soil quality, what works best, and what doesn’t.
Planting an orchard
Planting an orchard can bring you a good profit and provide you with more fruits than you could eat. However, the trick here is to establish which trees to plant. Plus, you should know that people have switched from standard-sized trees to dwarf fruit trees in recent years. They are doing so since it was established that you could get more fruit from such small trees, and you also cut corners on having to buy ladders and other equipment needed to pick the fruit.A one-acre orchard can host around 100 standard-sized fruit trees that will bear fruit in five years. On the other hand, you could have between 400 to 600 dwarf fruit trees on that same acre, and they will bear fruit starting with the second or third year.
Establishing a woodlot
Growing your own woodlot from scratch isn’t very practical, and it takes time, even if you plant fast-growing species. Even more, you should consider that the trees with the best firewood or those used in furniture manufacturing are usually the slowest growing ones.However, if you already have a stand of timber on the land you bought, you can improve its growth, and in return, you will get some free firewood. Before deciding if you want to heat your home using only firewood, you must establish how well insulated your home is, how the climate in your area will affect your wood supply, and how efficient your wood burner is.
Also, you should consider the growth rate and the actual burning rate of the various species of trees available on your lot. To get a general idea of how much land is needed to grow your own firewood, you can establish how much wood you are using per year and compare that number with the standing timber you currently have on your property.
Growing feed
If you have more than one acre of land, you can establish a feed growing area in which corn, sorghum cane, and other animal feeds can be grown. How much feed you can obtain from one acre is subjected to different variables, but you can keep in mind that the national field corn production average is between 110 and 150 bushels per acre.If you manage to successfully grow your own feed, you’ll need a place to store it. So, here is where that barn comes into play.
Traditionally, field corn is kept in whole ears in corncribs, and smaller grains are kept in large cans or sacks. Sorghum cane is made into silage (high moisture fermented feed) by packing it into plastic bags and letting anaerobic fermentation do the work. Some folks also opt for silage instead of hay since it is much more nutritious for their livestock, so you might want to consider this option as well.
Some homesteaders grow beets as livestock feed since they hold their nutrients well during storage. But you have to consider that growing and harvesting beets is a much more sustained effort compared to other feed crops.
Creating a pond
A pond is usually a body of water that is smaller than a lake, and digging one is not as expensive as some folks believe, considering the benefits you get for the rest of your life. You can hire heavy equipment for the day and have a decent-sized pond dug in one day’s time.So, eight hours will be pretty much all the time you need to have your pond built. However, you must make sure you have clay-like soil in the area where you plan to create the pond; otherwise, you will have to line it with plastic or bentonite clay.
Also, consider that your land needs enough slope so that rain runoff can be diverted and keep your pond full. Once you have it filled with rainwater, you also have to stock it with fish and wait for the fish population to establish. Some large ponds won’t require feeding the fish, but in general, the fish will grow much faster if you take care of their needs in the first two years.
Raising small livestock
Establishing a pasture allows you to keep a milk cow, but you have to figure out if your family is ready for a milk cow and if you can use that much milk. Instead of dealing with one or two milk cows (since some also decide to sell raw milk – which is a complicated endeavor), you could concentrate your efforts on smaller livestock like miniature cattle, sheep, and other animals.
Miniature cattle
Tiny bovines have gained a lot of popularity in the last decade since some are not taller than 36 inches, and they can be raised for milk and meat without having to deal with the issues encountered when raising full-sized cattle. They are easier to handle, and transport and they require a smaller area, being cheaper to feed.Miniature cattle are the micro version of the most common cattle breeds such as Holstein, Angus, Jersey, Hereford, but also Longhorn and Brahman. They can provide the right amount of meat for your family, and as far as your milk needs go, a miniature Holstein can give up to 3 gallons of milk per day.
Sheep
Sheep will provide you with meat and milk and the valuable wool, which still remains the most used animal fiber on earth. If you decide to raise sheep, you should know that such animals require lush pastures and good fencing to contain them. Pastures for sheep are generally a mix of grass, forbs, and clover, but your sheep can also eat grains and hay. They also need clean, fresh water and an open-front shed.To establish how many sheep you can raise, you can use the old rule stating that eight sheep can be raised on the land needed by one Jersey cow. Also, since you will use manure as fertilizer, you should know that one sheep can produce more than a ton of manure per year, and in general, sheep manure is a much better fertilizer compared to cattle manure.
One alternative for your animal fiber-producing project would be to raise alpacas. The value of alpaca fiber is unmatched due to its similarity to wool but also because it’s less itch and has hypoallergenic properties. You can go with the Suri breed with long and straight hair or pick the Huacaya breed with wooly and dense hair.
Pigs
Many Americans love pork meat, and everyone I’ve met so far loves bacon. That being said, you should know that swine can be raised successfully, even in very small areas, in a humane manner. That is, of course, if you don’t have close neighbors that could be bothered by your meat production mission.Some farm-friendly communities will allow you to grow everything except pigs since they “smell bad.” However, this is a misconception, and pigs are usually clean animals if they are not crammed together in small spaces. Pen pigs stand up to their reputation in terms of smell and cleanliness, so free-range pigs (pigs raised on pastures and in woodlands) may be the way to go if you have the available space.
Helpful machinery to consider
No backyard farm is complete without a few helpful machines that make all chores much easier. Here are some options you should consider if you embark on such a project.
Tractor
Tractors come in all sizes and shapes (although they do look alike), and there are clear distinctions between a small tractor and, let’s say, a riding lawnmower. Your riding lawn mower has a single purpose (mowing the lawn), and it usually has about three speeds forward. On the other hand, a small tractor can have between four and ten speeds forward, hydraulics, a three-point hitch, and a heavy-duty build that should last for a lifetime (ideally).Small tractors can be used to pull trailers full of heavy things, and they have gears for various tasks. Some of the more popular implements are plow, grader blade, mower, bush-hog, log splitter, loader, and post-hole auger.
Tractors provide you with many options, and you can do a lot of jobs that you won’t consider until the time to do so comes. They are well-built, and they aren’t cheap since they are considered universal pieces of machinery or tools. That said, you can opt for a good used tractor if money is a problem.
If you have five acres or less, you can also go with a smaller tractor, and you can pick an import one from Japan, Korea, China, or India. Or you can look for an old Ford N-serries. Even so, there are pros and cons to each.
The import ones are newer and more modern and have various features such as very low range transmissions and many forward speeds, modern hydraulics, and a four-wheel-drive system that will prove quite handy. However, the more complex they are, the harder it will be to fix them.
On the other hand, the Ford N-series are much simpler, and they allow you to fix almost everything yourself, provided you have the owner’s manual and the wits to do it. Even if the Fords are old models, there are many out there in perfect running condition, and their simplicity in design makes them a great purchase. Parts are cheap and easy to install, and you can get a good used one for half the price you will pay for an import one.
Two-wheel tractor
These little machines are known in popular terms as “walk-behind tractors” and can till up a heavy garden in short order with little input from the operator. These are the perfect machines if you have ground to till, and they can perform other jobs as well, provided you have the proper attachments. For example, you can blow snow using a two-wheel tractor, or you can pull carts loaded with heavy items.
Skid-steer loader
You can also find a small skid loader on many farms since these machines do not require steering like tractors, and they can pivot by breaking one side or the other. They are extremely useful and easy to operate in close quarters since they can turn around at their own length.Let’s say you need to move and place something within an inch or so of a certain area. Using a tractor requires complex maneuvers to do the job right but using a skid loader will make working in one spot a precise and fast operation.
And just like tractors, such types of machinery have all sorts of available implements that will fit on the front. This alone makes them ideal for lifting and moving things. They can do various bulldozer-like jobs if they are equipped with the proper implements, and some people will even dig their own ponds using nothing more than a skid-steer loader. You can also find implements such as tree shears, stump grinders, buckets, and grapples for your loaders.
Even more, these are the preferred machines and a treasured investment for those farming in their late years since they can handle a lot of lifting and portability tasks.
Concluding
Farming on a large plot of land offers a lot of opportunities, but one also needs to plan things ahead before the heavy lifting starts. Each project will have its ups and downs, and some will prove to be most rewarding and minimize the failure of the less successful ones.Having the right tools and the proper knowledge to use them to handle various jobs also becomes mandatory on a large farm. You will spend your time more efficiently, and you will be able to take care of more and more tasks if you have the tools that can replace manual labor. The possibilities are endless, but you need to consider your abilities and limitations when farming on a large lot.
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2023.03.26 10:45 Cheemingwan1234 Plot points and ideas for a Mortal Kombat/PreCure.
Here are some plot points that I've came up for my Mortal Kombat/PreCure concept.
Take for example how the Cures or the villains would fight here against a human sized opponent in this fusion.
Rather than the kid friendly flashy melee moves common in modern PreCures, they use moves more closer to that of Mortal Kombat, ranging from face punches (yes, there is a rule for the animators in PreCure to avoid face punches, even for Futari Wa PreCure ), low blows , trying to pull limbs off their opponent and other uses of their power sets in nasty ways (using Kirakiraru to burn an opponent for example) that would be familiar to fans of Mortal Kombat. Not to mention that they can pull off Fatalities and Brutalities onto their opponents that involve their powersets and in some cases, their finishing moves (such as Mermaid Ripple) being used to bump up the squick and gore factor. It would be quite disturbing to witness PreCure characters such as the titular Pretty Cures doing that since unlike Mortal Kombat characters, they normally don't do Fatalities* and would be a big OOC is serious business moment for Raiden that the PreCure characters are acting like how the characters from the Mortal Kombat universe would behave in combat.
And it would be quite horrifying for someone like Cure Sky (who would look up to heroes such as the PreCures) witnessing someone like Hana Nono/ Cure Yell, who is known to be the most forgiving of the PreCures be turned into a Scorpion like individual who only seeks vengeance due to a combination of the Mortal Kombat aspects of this merged together universe influencing Cure Yell to greater acts of violence and the torments of Kronika onto Cure Yell* that involved Kronika (maliciously) interpreting a order with exact words from Cure Yell to not lay her hands on her family after one too many encounters and threats to involve kidnapping her family by a timestorm.
Not to mention that the aspects of the PreCure universe influencing the Mortal Kombat universe can be played up for creepiness as well in addition to mellowing out/moderating the Mortal Kombat aspects of this merged together universe . For example, Mileena having Cure Precious' design aspects such as her hairstyle (in fact, I envision Mileena as a deranged parody of Cure Precious/Yui Nagomi in terms of appearance here) and her uttering "Delicious smile..." (which is Yui's catchphrase by the way) after biting off the opponent's face and eating it would be terrifying to see for Delicious Party PreCure fans.
Mortal Kombat is important for the PreCures as they can kill some of the villains' top generals when they have to defend their realms in the 10 rounds of Mortal Kombat , forcing their villains' plans to be delayed or stop an invasion attempt at their tracks once someone important working for the villains gets killed in the tournament and would give them the right to put an end to the villains by invading their realms once the rights to invasion and conquest is won through all the 10 rounds in a row. Moreover for the PreCures, Mortal Kombat would ensure that the villains do not hurt civilians.
In fact, I can picture Nightmare sending out a failed employee to fight in Mortal Kombat. They must win the 10 rounds or die trying else they would receive the black mask.
*Of course there would be exceptions as some Fatalities would be still be played for black comedy/shock comedy even with the PreCures if it fits their character such as Cure Marine.
*Yes, I pitted Cure Yell/Hana Nono and Kronika as rivals in this crossover due to their themes complementing one another and allowing for a rivalry: Defiance against destiny (Hugtto's main theme) vs fate (What Kronika represents) . Oh, and the scary part about my take on a Scorpion like Cure Yell.....her powers ( such as Mirari Crystals which are created from Toge Power, aka literal tommorows as a power Mcguffin) are not corrupted by vengeance per se....she just uses them to wreak bloody revenge towards Kronika for a chance at a better tomorrow that will involve her reuniting with her family and Kronika either dead or repeatedly tortured forever to the point that Kronika would wish for death.
*It would also make Rosemary's Delicious Field a lot more important as it can be used to set up a Mortal Kombat fight or just a sparring/practice match.
submitted by Cheemingwan1234 to precure [link] [comments]
- The merger of universes changing the PreCure aspects of the merged together universe into something more violent and just as bad as the former Mortal Kombat aspects of the merged together universe.
Take for example how the Cures or the villains would fight here against a human sized opponent in this fusion.
Rather than the kid friendly flashy melee moves common in modern PreCures, they use moves more closer to that of Mortal Kombat, ranging from face punches (yes, there is a rule for the animators in PreCure to avoid face punches, even for Futari Wa PreCure ), low blows , trying to pull limbs off their opponent and other uses of their power sets in nasty ways (using Kirakiraru to burn an opponent for example) that would be familiar to fans of Mortal Kombat. Not to mention that they can pull off Fatalities and Brutalities onto their opponents that involve their powersets and in some cases, their finishing moves (such as Mermaid Ripple) being used to bump up the squick and gore factor. It would be quite disturbing to witness PreCure characters such as the titular Pretty Cures doing that since unlike Mortal Kombat characters, they normally don't do Fatalities* and would be a big OOC is serious business moment for Raiden that the PreCure characters are acting like how the characters from the Mortal Kombat universe would behave in combat.
And it would be quite horrifying for someone like Cure Sky (who would look up to heroes such as the PreCures) witnessing someone like Hana Nono/ Cure Yell, who is known to be the most forgiving of the PreCures be turned into a Scorpion like individual who only seeks vengeance due to a combination of the Mortal Kombat aspects of this merged together universe influencing Cure Yell to greater acts of violence and the torments of Kronika onto Cure Yell* that involved Kronika (maliciously) interpreting a order with exact words from Cure Yell to not lay her hands on her family after one too many encounters and threats to involve kidnapping her family by a timestorm.
Not to mention that the aspects of the PreCure universe influencing the Mortal Kombat universe can be played up for creepiness as well in addition to mellowing out/moderating the Mortal Kombat aspects of this merged together universe . For example, Mileena having Cure Precious' design aspects such as her hairstyle (in fact, I envision Mileena as a deranged parody of Cure Precious/Yui Nagomi in terms of appearance here) and her uttering "Delicious smile..." (which is Yui's catchphrase by the way) after biting off the opponent's face and eating it would be terrifying to see for Delicious Party PreCure fans.
- The villains of PreCure finding the villains of Mortal Kombat useful tools for their plans:
- The Mortal Kombat Tournament being important for the PreCures and their villains*.
Mortal Kombat is important for the PreCures as they can kill some of the villains' top generals when they have to defend their realms in the 10 rounds of Mortal Kombat , forcing their villains' plans to be delayed or stop an invasion attempt at their tracks once someone important working for the villains gets killed in the tournament and would give them the right to put an end to the villains by invading their realms once the rights to invasion and conquest is won through all the 10 rounds in a row. Moreover for the PreCures, Mortal Kombat would ensure that the villains do not hurt civilians.
- Mortal Kombat is seen as entertainment for some of the PreCure villains such as Nightmare.
In fact, I can picture Nightmare sending out a failed employee to fight in Mortal Kombat. They must win the 10 rounds or die trying else they would receive the black mask.
*Of course there would be exceptions as some Fatalities would be still be played for black comedy/shock comedy even with the PreCures if it fits their character such as Cure Marine.
*Yes, I pitted Cure Yell/Hana Nono and Kronika as rivals in this crossover due to their themes complementing one another and allowing for a rivalry: Defiance against destiny (Hugtto's main theme) vs fate (What Kronika represents) . Oh, and the scary part about my take on a Scorpion like Cure Yell.....her powers ( such as Mirari Crystals which are created from Toge Power, aka literal tommorows as a power Mcguffin) are not corrupted by vengeance per se....she just uses them to wreak bloody revenge towards Kronika for a chance at a better tomorrow that will involve her reuniting with her family and Kronika either dead or repeatedly tortured forever to the point that Kronika would wish for death.
*It would also make Rosemary's Delicious Field a lot more important as it can be used to set up a Mortal Kombat fight or just a sparring/practice match.
2023.03.26 10:45 Sinpleton025 [Rifts of War] - Chapter 3
Northeast park
Two hours since the invasion began
The invasion is a success. Thousands of savages have been purged and dozens captured. Not as frightening as the vision said, but the description holds true. These are the pale skin. Strangely, some of them have very dark skin and some even have skin as brown as a dwarf's. Strange indeed. Most men were taller than elves and Rosians but not as tall as an orc.
"Excellent.", Ylindar said as he observed the captives being sent through the rift, "They will be fine specimens for studying. We must find their weakness."
The 'humans', as they called themselves, resisted but fell in line eventually. The smaller ones cried and called out to their parents. It made the Rosians present sick. One of the women broke the line and ran to Ylindar. "Please! Stop this! Why are you doing this? Who are you?", she said through tears and shaking breaths.
Ylindar slapped her, causing her to fall to the ground. "Silence you wench! You are not worthy of being in my presence, let alone speak to me. Take her!". Soldiers hoisted her up and dragged her towards the others.
"You monsters!", yelled a man, "You will pay for this! You will all die her-". Before he could say more, Ylindar pierced his chest with his sword. Then he turned to the rest of the captives, "Any more of you savages willing to test me?"
"Stop!", yelled the Rosian captain present, "I demand you give us our share now."
Ylindar raised an eyebrow to that, "Your share?"
"Yes. We fought, pillaged, and brought captives. We did what you asked and now it is your turn to keep your end of the deal."
This made Ylindar chuckle, but he would humor the young Rosian, "Very well. We are an honorable empire after all. You may choose ten captives and split them amongst yourselves."
"Ten?"
"Yes. Take them now before I change my mind."
The captain faced the captains. In truth, he wanted to save the weak and innocent ones from suffering, but he couldn't save them all. He pointed to them one by one, picking out the children and elderly first as well as a woman with a child and a strong tall man who fought against the ferals and dwarves. Perhaps he could give them some insight.
"You over exceed Rosian. I said ten.", said Ylindar.
"This is ten people."
"She counts as two.", he said as he pointed to the pregnant woman.
"She is with child. That is unfair."
"And what will you do about it?"
The captain stuttered. He wanted to save her but it would mean dooming another life. What was he to do? He cursed Ylindar internally. Honorable? Horse shit.
"Leave me.", said the tall human, "Leave me behind and take her. Please." The captain was stunned, to say the least.
"Excellent", said Ylindar, "It appears you can bring them all. Enjoy your spoils.". With that, he left.
The woman thanked the tall man who then grabbed the captain by the arm and looked him in the eyes. "If anything happens to her, I will hold you responsible.", he said.
The captain nodded, "You have my word, warrior.". The man was dragged to the elven slave lines and pushed through the rift.
Ylindar was sitting at his desk writing a letter to the troops on the other side, saying the invasion was a success and a foothold was established. Handing the letter to a messenger he got up and walked to observe his army. Ten thousand elves, all gathered in a barbaric land to bring civilization. He looked up in the sky and saw the wyverns flying through the air. As he looked at them he didn't feel proud, he felt confused. There were too few of them. He brought fifty wyverns, which is half of an army's corps. Now there were less than two dozen. How?
His question would be answered as several strange contraptions flew in the air at the wyverns. They didn't have wings but still flew in a straight line. The wyverns outnumbered them and Ylindar assumed this was a victory, but his hopes were crushed as the contraptions fired what looked like cannons and tore through the wyverns like a sword through parchment.
He stepped back in shock and watched as the cannon-wielding machines finished the wyverns and turned towards them.
"General!", called a soldier, "Enemy carriages approach! It appears to be their army!"
Ylindar grinned, "At last. Soldiers of the light! Prepare yourselves! The savages have finally sent their warriors! We will crush them and clear a path for our reinforcements! Formations!"
The infantry prepared their shields and spears, archers and mages took their positions, it was time to face this world's true force. The metal carriages halted and out of them came out dozens of soldiers. Then dozens more came from flying contraptions.
Raising his sword, Ylindar yelled out the order, "Attack!".
---
"Here they come!", yelled Paterson.
"Open fire!", ordered Jefferson. The rifles, machine guns, and grenade launchers wreaked havoc upon the enemy. Bullets tore through shields, machine guns ripped people apart, and explosions turned any poor fool near it into minced meat. Their tight formations only added to their demise.
The attack helicopters arrived when they finished the dragon things and opened fire with their chain guns and anti-infantry rockets. The enemies fell by the thousands and some even started to retreat while most fell to their knees and begged for mercy.
When the firing stopped all that was left of the ten thousand enemy soldiers were scorched bodies riddled with holes. There was almost nothing left of their camp. The screaming soldiers were taken into custody. All but one guy with a cape.
"You-You dare!", yelled the blue-skinned man, "Do you have any idea who I am!? Who I represent!? You shall suffer for your barbarism!". He drew his sword and ran to the nearest soldier, who promptly raised his rifle and shot him in the chest twice.
"Round them all up.", ordered Jefferson, "Send word to HQ that it's over."
The enemy captives were loaded up into trucks and sent to Fort Curz for questioning. As they were being loaded up, one of the blue soldiers started smiling and chuckling. "What's so funny?", asked Paterson.
"This is only the beginning.", he replied. Paterson widened his eyes and ran to Jefferson.
"Sir!"
"What is it?"
"I just information on the attack. This was the first wave. More are coming."
Jefferson wasted no time in reacting and grabbed his radio, "All units, prepare for a second attack! Air squadrons, hold your positions until enough of them group up and shot down those dragons! Don't waste ammo!"
"Rodger that.", said a pilot. The guard and police force pulled back and created a semi-circle out of armored vehicles facing the portal. Hundreds of rifles and machine guns were pointed toward the shining rectangle.
---
Captain Zorgin led the second wave through the rift. The remaining forty thousand elves and ten thousand dwarves marched to the other side. But something wasn't right. When the messenger arrived he reported that the invasion was a success, but later dozens of soldiers came back saying that they should not go through. They came saying how the savages have great machines of death capable of destroying armies. Be that as it may, general Ylindar was out there and Zorgin swore he would bring him back.
"General Bardek!", he called, "You will lead the charge with your troops. After you get through, our cavalry and wyverns will enter and attack."
"Right.", said Bardek, "I can't let Dalmin have all the fun after all.". He rushed forward on his war hog, leading his troops. "Warriors of Nundolar! The enemy we face is formidable! But we will show them the might of dwarven steel!". The dwarven warrior roared and charged through the rift. As soon as they passed through they were met with a horrid sight.
Thousands dead and burned, the camp nor the general could be seen, only the line of carriages and hundreds of enemy soldiers. Bardek didn't stop to think. The adrenalin carried him forward. He charged with his troops, screaming and firing, hoping he could break the enemy's defenses. But hopes were not enough. The enemy opened fire and Bardek experienced true fear. His hog was shot and he fell to the ground. The enemy's boomsticks fired without stopping, their cannons killed dozens of soldiers with each blast, and they couldn't even get close. His pride, his dwarven pride, was broken. He could only lie down and pray he would survive.
Zorgin led his cavalry through. He looked for his general but found nothing but dead bodies and ash. He snapped back as he heard cannon fire and redirected his troops. "Over there! Their flank is less defended! We will break it, come on!". Leading the cavalry charge he kept observing the enemy. They had strange-looking black shields and only a single line between two carriages. They opened fire with their boomsticks and Zorgin's cavalry started taking casualties but still held on. Zorgin was closing in, but then the enemy soldiers fired some sort of metal boxes that spewed smoke. 'What trickery is this?', Zorgin thought, but when the smoke spread and got into their eyes, they understood its purpose. It made their eyes burn and they could hardly breathe. The horses were affected the same way as they stopped in their tracks. They couldn't see anything but they felt as if they were knocked out.
More and more soldiers exited the rift and with their sheer numbers, they were starting to get close. But as they did, the flying monsters of metal rained fire upon them and their numbers kept dropping. The wyverns were blown to pieces by either them or the cannons. It wasn't a battle, it was more of a one-sided slaughter. Only a few dozen were able to run back to the rift. Most were either wounded, screaming from the killer smoke or just lying down and surrendered. Surprisingly, the enemy took them captive instead of killing them. Zorgin tried to resist but to no avail.
"Where is general Ylindar?!", he yelled as he was dragged, "I demand you answer me immediately!"
One of the soldiers in light brown armor came up to him and grabbed him by the arm and dragged him in another direction. After stopping he pushed him to his knees. "Here.", he spoke, "Is this him?"
Zorgin could barely see, his vision was foggy, but there was no mistaking it. The armor, the cape, the helmet, it was him. Zorgin shed tears of regret, regret that he failed in his duty.
"I'll take that as a yes.", said the soldier before lifting Zorgin back on his feet.
"You haven't won!", Zorgin yelled, "Our fleet has taken your shores by now! Soon enough, more ships will follow and you will perish!"
"I wouldn't worry about that.", said the soldier in a calm tone, leaving Zorgin puzzled.
---
Three hours earlier
South coast of California, Del Mar, near San Diego
Admiral Lothar Tanros has passed through the rift. Large enough for more than a dozen ships to pass through it advanced his progress. Each fleet was well-equipped for an invasion. It consisted of twenty troop carriers with held ten thousand troops in total, thirty attack ships with eight cannons, five wyvern carriers with five to six wyverns each, and forty-five supply ships with materials necessary to build and sustain the fleet and build a coastal fortification. All are led by the admiral's personal grand ship. A huge naval vessel with several sails and cannons on both sides. Truly a powerful presentation.
"Admiral!", shouted the first mate, "Land is within sight!"
"Excellent!", said Lothar, "Let the wyvern carriers pass through first. I want air superiority as soon as possible. Along with them, I want half of our troop carriers. We need to take the shore immediately."
"Yes, admiral!".
---
Lieutenant Mitch Floyd was just doing his routine patrols. It was his turn to take the patrol boat for a spin. All he had to do was go to Dana point and back, simple, he's done it dozens of times before. All the while the crew was gathered around a TV and watching the live recordings of the attack in North Carolina. What they felt was beyond words.
"Sir, how can you not watch this?", asked a crew member.
"It's cause I trust our boys to kill those freaks.", Mitch replied, "Don't you?"
"W-Well of course but, damn. This shit is insane. Gotta say I'm jealous, I kinda want to shoot some dragons."
"Careful watch you wish for, kid.". As Mitch sailed on he began to notice something strange in front. A large number of wooden ships heading towards Del mar. In the sky were large dragon-like reptiles. 'Just my luck.", Mitch thought.
"Battle stations!", ordered Mitchel, "Looks like your wish came true Fred!"
Fred looked out and saw three dragons flying toward them, "Holy shit! I didn't mean now!". He ran towards the .50 caliber machine gun and readied himself. The cyclone class patrol boat wasn't something to be messed with. As the dragons got closer, the 25mm machine gun raised itself, aimed, and let loose. The lizards couldn't even react before they got turned into Swiss cheese.
"Woohoo!", cheered Fred, "We got 'em!"
"Don't open the champagne just yet!", Mitch shouted, "We still have those ships to deal with. I count roughly a hundred, various sizes. Richerdson, get in contact with HQ! Tell them what's going on, we need air support. Alert the National guard as well."
"Yes, sir!", said Richerdson.
'God help us.', Mitch thought as he sailed into the fray.
---
"Admiral!", yelled the first mate, "Some of our wyverns have been killed."
"Where?", Lothar asked.
"They spotted a ship coming from the south and decided to deal with it, but now they're dead."
"A single ship?"
"That is what the captain said."
"Tell them to send what attack ships are near to destroy it. Nothing must disrupt this invasion."
"Yes, Admiral."
On the shore, the savages run. They run from the water and into their city. The wyverns already started swooping down and devouring them. Their soldiers in blue clothing fired at them with their boomsticks but did next to nothing. A few managed to shoot down the riders, but that didn't stop the wyverns themselves. Now that the shore was empty, the troops could move in. Dozens of landing boats rowed to the shore and dropped off hundreds of soldiers who rallied and attacked the savages, but their weapons halted the assault.
"Push through!", yelled a lieutenant, "They are few in numbers! We must clear a path!". At that moment, two wyverns descended unto their carriages and destroyed the soldiers in blue. With that, the cohort marched on and reached the wide road. However, in the distance, they saw more metal carriages, but these were bigger and in a different color, with large boomsticks on top. The wyverns flew at them, but they soon got shot down and the carriages halted. Out of them came dozens of enemy soldiers, all dressed in vastly different armor than their blue counterparts.
The cohort got into a shield formation and the mages prepared to block the enemy's weapons, but they couldn't. Their magic wasn't working. "Do not falter!", the lieutenant shouted, "We must-". His mouth stopped moving as soon as it got blown to pieces by the enemy. The shields and armor provided them with no protection. They were all cut down and the enemy advanced. More and more of their carriages arrived and they quickly retook the shore.
"Admiral, we have a problem on the shore.", said the first mate.
"I can see that!", yelled Lothar, "Tell the attack ships to form a firing line and destroy the enemy! We cannot let them... are you listening?". The first mate pointed out towards the approaching ships in the distance. Five of them, two large and the rest smaller, all made of metal, and above them over a dozen flying arrowheads, dropping what looked like eggs. Each 'egg' landed on a ship and blew it to pieces. Dozens of ships were destroyed just like that. Lothar didn't have the words to express himself. He kept looking toward the enemy ships as they aimed their cannons and fired from impossible distances. The crew panicked and begged for help, but Lothar couldn't say anything. In his final moments, he watched as a giant metal rod flew into the sky from one of the ships and blew him to pieces along with his crew and ship.
---
"Boom!", cheered Fred, "They got the big one!"
"Shut up!", shouted Mitch, "Let's do what we came here to do.". He guided his cyclone patrol boat along with another one towards the enemy 'landing crafts'. The two opened fire with their 25mm chainguns they tore through the boats and ripped the soldiers inside apart, scattering their remains across the water. Along the way, they picked up the handful of survivors and tied them up.
In the main battle, two destroyers, USS Dewey-2, and Cutter opened fire on the enemy fleet. They targeted the largest ones first, and when they were done they moved on to the armed ships. The enemy was in complete chaos. Destroying the lead ship with the cruiser missile was a good idea, now they were leaderless and easy to take out.
The jets destroyed the ships on the outer formations and later moved inwards. Eventually, there were only thirteen ships left. Four had cannons and nine looked like they just carried supplies. They surrendered and raised white flags, a smart move. The coast guard boarded and cleared all of them before arresting the crew and towing the ships back.
"This is quite a mess lieutenant.", Fred said.
"It is. You just had to wish for a dragon, huh?"
Now that the attacks were stopped, the hard part began. Counting the losses and making a plan for what to do next.
End of chapter 3
---
Sorry for the short chapter, in hindsight I should have just written one very long one. Won't happen again, pinky promise.
Thank you very much for watching. If you'd like to support me (for some freakin' reason) and get access to future chapters early feel free to upvote, follow, and support me on Patreon (DM me for the link please)
submitted by Sinpleton025 to redditserials [link] [comments]
Two hours since the invasion began
The invasion is a success. Thousands of savages have been purged and dozens captured. Not as frightening as the vision said, but the description holds true. These are the pale skin. Strangely, some of them have very dark skin and some even have skin as brown as a dwarf's. Strange indeed. Most men were taller than elves and Rosians but not as tall as an orc.
"Excellent.", Ylindar said as he observed the captives being sent through the rift, "They will be fine specimens for studying. We must find their weakness."
The 'humans', as they called themselves, resisted but fell in line eventually. The smaller ones cried and called out to their parents. It made the Rosians present sick. One of the women broke the line and ran to Ylindar. "Please! Stop this! Why are you doing this? Who are you?", she said through tears and shaking breaths.
Ylindar slapped her, causing her to fall to the ground. "Silence you wench! You are not worthy of being in my presence, let alone speak to me. Take her!". Soldiers hoisted her up and dragged her towards the others.
"You monsters!", yelled a man, "You will pay for this! You will all die her-". Before he could say more, Ylindar pierced his chest with his sword. Then he turned to the rest of the captives, "Any more of you savages willing to test me?"
"Stop!", yelled the Rosian captain present, "I demand you give us our share now."
Ylindar raised an eyebrow to that, "Your share?"
"Yes. We fought, pillaged, and brought captives. We did what you asked and now it is your turn to keep your end of the deal."
This made Ylindar chuckle, but he would humor the young Rosian, "Very well. We are an honorable empire after all. You may choose ten captives and split them amongst yourselves."
"Ten?"
"Yes. Take them now before I change my mind."
The captain faced the captains. In truth, he wanted to save the weak and innocent ones from suffering, but he couldn't save them all. He pointed to them one by one, picking out the children and elderly first as well as a woman with a child and a strong tall man who fought against the ferals and dwarves. Perhaps he could give them some insight.
"You over exceed Rosian. I said ten.", said Ylindar.
"This is ten people."
"She counts as two.", he said as he pointed to the pregnant woman.
"She is with child. That is unfair."
"And what will you do about it?"
The captain stuttered. He wanted to save her but it would mean dooming another life. What was he to do? He cursed Ylindar internally. Honorable? Horse shit.
"Leave me.", said the tall human, "Leave me behind and take her. Please." The captain was stunned, to say the least.
"Excellent", said Ylindar, "It appears you can bring them all. Enjoy your spoils.". With that, he left.
The woman thanked the tall man who then grabbed the captain by the arm and looked him in the eyes. "If anything happens to her, I will hold you responsible.", he said.
The captain nodded, "You have my word, warrior.". The man was dragged to the elven slave lines and pushed through the rift.
Ylindar was sitting at his desk writing a letter to the troops on the other side, saying the invasion was a success and a foothold was established. Handing the letter to a messenger he got up and walked to observe his army. Ten thousand elves, all gathered in a barbaric land to bring civilization. He looked up in the sky and saw the wyverns flying through the air. As he looked at them he didn't feel proud, he felt confused. There were too few of them. He brought fifty wyverns, which is half of an army's corps. Now there were less than two dozen. How?
His question would be answered as several strange contraptions flew in the air at the wyverns. They didn't have wings but still flew in a straight line. The wyverns outnumbered them and Ylindar assumed this was a victory, but his hopes were crushed as the contraptions fired what looked like cannons and tore through the wyverns like a sword through parchment.
He stepped back in shock and watched as the cannon-wielding machines finished the wyverns and turned towards them.
"General!", called a soldier, "Enemy carriages approach! It appears to be their army!"
Ylindar grinned, "At last. Soldiers of the light! Prepare yourselves! The savages have finally sent their warriors! We will crush them and clear a path for our reinforcements! Formations!"
The infantry prepared their shields and spears, archers and mages took their positions, it was time to face this world's true force. The metal carriages halted and out of them came out dozens of soldiers. Then dozens more came from flying contraptions.
Raising his sword, Ylindar yelled out the order, "Attack!".
---
"Here they come!", yelled Paterson.
"Open fire!", ordered Jefferson. The rifles, machine guns, and grenade launchers wreaked havoc upon the enemy. Bullets tore through shields, machine guns ripped people apart, and explosions turned any poor fool near it into minced meat. Their tight formations only added to their demise.
The attack helicopters arrived when they finished the dragon things and opened fire with their chain guns and anti-infantry rockets. The enemies fell by the thousands and some even started to retreat while most fell to their knees and begged for mercy.
When the firing stopped all that was left of the ten thousand enemy soldiers were scorched bodies riddled with holes. There was almost nothing left of their camp. The screaming soldiers were taken into custody. All but one guy with a cape.
"You-You dare!", yelled the blue-skinned man, "Do you have any idea who I am!? Who I represent!? You shall suffer for your barbarism!". He drew his sword and ran to the nearest soldier, who promptly raised his rifle and shot him in the chest twice.
"Round them all up.", ordered Jefferson, "Send word to HQ that it's over."
The enemy captives were loaded up into trucks and sent to Fort Curz for questioning. As they were being loaded up, one of the blue soldiers started smiling and chuckling. "What's so funny?", asked Paterson.
"This is only the beginning.", he replied. Paterson widened his eyes and ran to Jefferson.
"Sir!"
"What is it?"
"I just information on the attack. This was the first wave. More are coming."
Jefferson wasted no time in reacting and grabbed his radio, "All units, prepare for a second attack! Air squadrons, hold your positions until enough of them group up and shot down those dragons! Don't waste ammo!"
"Rodger that.", said a pilot. The guard and police force pulled back and created a semi-circle out of armored vehicles facing the portal. Hundreds of rifles and machine guns were pointed toward the shining rectangle.
---
Captain Zorgin led the second wave through the rift. The remaining forty thousand elves and ten thousand dwarves marched to the other side. But something wasn't right. When the messenger arrived he reported that the invasion was a success, but later dozens of soldiers came back saying that they should not go through. They came saying how the savages have great machines of death capable of destroying armies. Be that as it may, general Ylindar was out there and Zorgin swore he would bring him back.
"General Bardek!", he called, "You will lead the charge with your troops. After you get through, our cavalry and wyverns will enter and attack."
"Right.", said Bardek, "I can't let Dalmin have all the fun after all.". He rushed forward on his war hog, leading his troops. "Warriors of Nundolar! The enemy we face is formidable! But we will show them the might of dwarven steel!". The dwarven warrior roared and charged through the rift. As soon as they passed through they were met with a horrid sight.
Thousands dead and burned, the camp nor the general could be seen, only the line of carriages and hundreds of enemy soldiers. Bardek didn't stop to think. The adrenalin carried him forward. He charged with his troops, screaming and firing, hoping he could break the enemy's defenses. But hopes were not enough. The enemy opened fire and Bardek experienced true fear. His hog was shot and he fell to the ground. The enemy's boomsticks fired without stopping, their cannons killed dozens of soldiers with each blast, and they couldn't even get close. His pride, his dwarven pride, was broken. He could only lie down and pray he would survive.
Zorgin led his cavalry through. He looked for his general but found nothing but dead bodies and ash. He snapped back as he heard cannon fire and redirected his troops. "Over there! Their flank is less defended! We will break it, come on!". Leading the cavalry charge he kept observing the enemy. They had strange-looking black shields and only a single line between two carriages. They opened fire with their boomsticks and Zorgin's cavalry started taking casualties but still held on. Zorgin was closing in, but then the enemy soldiers fired some sort of metal boxes that spewed smoke. 'What trickery is this?', Zorgin thought, but when the smoke spread and got into their eyes, they understood its purpose. It made their eyes burn and they could hardly breathe. The horses were affected the same way as they stopped in their tracks. They couldn't see anything but they felt as if they were knocked out.
More and more soldiers exited the rift and with their sheer numbers, they were starting to get close. But as they did, the flying monsters of metal rained fire upon them and their numbers kept dropping. The wyverns were blown to pieces by either them or the cannons. It wasn't a battle, it was more of a one-sided slaughter. Only a few dozen were able to run back to the rift. Most were either wounded, screaming from the killer smoke or just lying down and surrendered. Surprisingly, the enemy took them captive instead of killing them. Zorgin tried to resist but to no avail.
"Where is general Ylindar?!", he yelled as he was dragged, "I demand you answer me immediately!"
One of the soldiers in light brown armor came up to him and grabbed him by the arm and dragged him in another direction. After stopping he pushed him to his knees. "Here.", he spoke, "Is this him?"
Zorgin could barely see, his vision was foggy, but there was no mistaking it. The armor, the cape, the helmet, it was him. Zorgin shed tears of regret, regret that he failed in his duty.
"I'll take that as a yes.", said the soldier before lifting Zorgin back on his feet.
"You haven't won!", Zorgin yelled, "Our fleet has taken your shores by now! Soon enough, more ships will follow and you will perish!"
"I wouldn't worry about that.", said the soldier in a calm tone, leaving Zorgin puzzled.
---
Three hours earlier
South coast of California, Del Mar, near San Diego
Admiral Lothar Tanros has passed through the rift. Large enough for more than a dozen ships to pass through it advanced his progress. Each fleet was well-equipped for an invasion. It consisted of twenty troop carriers with held ten thousand troops in total, thirty attack ships with eight cannons, five wyvern carriers with five to six wyverns each, and forty-five supply ships with materials necessary to build and sustain the fleet and build a coastal fortification. All are led by the admiral's personal grand ship. A huge naval vessel with several sails and cannons on both sides. Truly a powerful presentation.
"Admiral!", shouted the first mate, "Land is within sight!"
"Excellent!", said Lothar, "Let the wyvern carriers pass through first. I want air superiority as soon as possible. Along with them, I want half of our troop carriers. We need to take the shore immediately."
"Yes, admiral!".
---
Lieutenant Mitch Floyd was just doing his routine patrols. It was his turn to take the patrol boat for a spin. All he had to do was go to Dana point and back, simple, he's done it dozens of times before. All the while the crew was gathered around a TV and watching the live recordings of the attack in North Carolina. What they felt was beyond words.
"Sir, how can you not watch this?", asked a crew member.
"It's cause I trust our boys to kill those freaks.", Mitch replied, "Don't you?"
"W-Well of course but, damn. This shit is insane. Gotta say I'm jealous, I kinda want to shoot some dragons."
"Careful watch you wish for, kid.". As Mitch sailed on he began to notice something strange in front. A large number of wooden ships heading towards Del mar. In the sky were large dragon-like reptiles. 'Just my luck.", Mitch thought.
"Battle stations!", ordered Mitchel, "Looks like your wish came true Fred!"
Fred looked out and saw three dragons flying toward them, "Holy shit! I didn't mean now!". He ran towards the .50 caliber machine gun and readied himself. The cyclone class patrol boat wasn't something to be messed with. As the dragons got closer, the 25mm machine gun raised itself, aimed, and let loose. The lizards couldn't even react before they got turned into Swiss cheese.
"Woohoo!", cheered Fred, "We got 'em!"
"Don't open the champagne just yet!", Mitch shouted, "We still have those ships to deal with. I count roughly a hundred, various sizes. Richerdson, get in contact with HQ! Tell them what's going on, we need air support. Alert the National guard as well."
"Yes, sir!", said Richerdson.
'God help us.', Mitch thought as he sailed into the fray.
---
"Admiral!", yelled the first mate, "Some of our wyverns have been killed."
"Where?", Lothar asked.
"They spotted a ship coming from the south and decided to deal with it, but now they're dead."
"A single ship?"
"That is what the captain said."
"Tell them to send what attack ships are near to destroy it. Nothing must disrupt this invasion."
"Yes, Admiral."
On the shore, the savages run. They run from the water and into their city. The wyverns already started swooping down and devouring them. Their soldiers in blue clothing fired at them with their boomsticks but did next to nothing. A few managed to shoot down the riders, but that didn't stop the wyverns themselves. Now that the shore was empty, the troops could move in. Dozens of landing boats rowed to the shore and dropped off hundreds of soldiers who rallied and attacked the savages, but their weapons halted the assault.
"Push through!", yelled a lieutenant, "They are few in numbers! We must clear a path!". At that moment, two wyverns descended unto their carriages and destroyed the soldiers in blue. With that, the cohort marched on and reached the wide road. However, in the distance, they saw more metal carriages, but these were bigger and in a different color, with large boomsticks on top. The wyverns flew at them, but they soon got shot down and the carriages halted. Out of them came dozens of enemy soldiers, all dressed in vastly different armor than their blue counterparts.
The cohort got into a shield formation and the mages prepared to block the enemy's weapons, but they couldn't. Their magic wasn't working. "Do not falter!", the lieutenant shouted, "We must-". His mouth stopped moving as soon as it got blown to pieces by the enemy. The shields and armor provided them with no protection. They were all cut down and the enemy advanced. More and more of their carriages arrived and they quickly retook the shore.
"Admiral, we have a problem on the shore.", said the first mate.
"I can see that!", yelled Lothar, "Tell the attack ships to form a firing line and destroy the enemy! We cannot let them... are you listening?". The first mate pointed out towards the approaching ships in the distance. Five of them, two large and the rest smaller, all made of metal, and above them over a dozen flying arrowheads, dropping what looked like eggs. Each 'egg' landed on a ship and blew it to pieces. Dozens of ships were destroyed just like that. Lothar didn't have the words to express himself. He kept looking toward the enemy ships as they aimed their cannons and fired from impossible distances. The crew panicked and begged for help, but Lothar couldn't say anything. In his final moments, he watched as a giant metal rod flew into the sky from one of the ships and blew him to pieces along with his crew and ship.
---
"Boom!", cheered Fred, "They got the big one!"
"Shut up!", shouted Mitch, "Let's do what we came here to do.". He guided his cyclone patrol boat along with another one towards the enemy 'landing crafts'. The two opened fire with their 25mm chainguns they tore through the boats and ripped the soldiers inside apart, scattering their remains across the water. Along the way, they picked up the handful of survivors and tied them up.
In the main battle, two destroyers, USS Dewey-2, and Cutter opened fire on the enemy fleet. They targeted the largest ones first, and when they were done they moved on to the armed ships. The enemy was in complete chaos. Destroying the lead ship with the cruiser missile was a good idea, now they were leaderless and easy to take out.
The jets destroyed the ships on the outer formations and later moved inwards. Eventually, there were only thirteen ships left. Four had cannons and nine looked like they just carried supplies. They surrendered and raised white flags, a smart move. The coast guard boarded and cleared all of them before arresting the crew and towing the ships back.
"This is quite a mess lieutenant.", Fred said.
"It is. You just had to wish for a dragon, huh?"
Now that the attacks were stopped, the hard part began. Counting the losses and making a plan for what to do next.
End of chapter 3
---
Sorry for the short chapter, in hindsight I should have just written one very long one. Won't happen again, pinky promise.
Thank you very much for watching. If you'd like to support me (for some freakin' reason) and get access to future chapters early feel free to upvote, follow, and support me on Patreon (DM me for the link please)
2023.03.26 10:45 Sinpleton025 Rifts of War - Chapter 3
Northeast park
Two hours since the invasion began
The invasion is a success. Thousands of savages have been purged and dozens captured. Not as frightening as the vision said, but the description holds true. These are the pale skin. Strangely, some of them have very dark skin and some even have skin as brown as a dwarf's. Strange indeed. Most men were taller than elves and Rosians but not as tall as an orc.
"Excellent.", Ylindar said as he observed the captives being sent through the rift, "They will be fine specimens for studying. We must find their weakness."
The 'humans', as they called themselves, resisted but fell in line eventually. The smaller ones cried and called out to their parents. It made the Rosians present sick. One of the women broke the line and ran to Ylindar. "Please! Stop this! Why are you doing this? Who are you?", she said through tears and shaking breaths.
Ylindar slapped her, causing her to fall to the ground. "Silence you wench! You are not worthy of being in my presence, let alone speak to me. Take her!". Soldiers hoisted her up and dragged her towards the others.
"You monsters!", yelled a man, "You will pay for this! You will all die her-". Before he could say more, Ylindar pierced his chest with his sword. Then he turned to the rest of the captives, "Any more of you savages willing to test me?"
"Stop!", yelled the Rosian captain present, "I demand you give us our share now."
Ylindar raised an eyebrow to that, "Your share?"
"Yes. We fought, pillaged, and brought captives. We did what you asked and now it is your turn to keep your end of the deal."
This made Ylindar chuckle, but he would humor the young Rosian, "Very well. We are an honorable empire after all. You may choose ten captives and split them amongst yourselves."
"Ten?"
"Yes. Take them now before I change my mind."
The captain faced the captains. In truth, he wanted to save the weak and innocent ones from suffering, but he couldn't save them all. He pointed to them one by one, picking out the children and elderly first as well as a woman with a child and a strong tall man who fought against the ferals and dwarves. Perhaps he could give them some insight.
"You over exceed Rosian. I said ten.", said Ylindar.
"This is ten people."
"She counts as two.", he said as he pointed to the pregnant woman.
"She is with child. That is unfair."
"And what will you do about it?"
The captain stuttered. He wanted to save her but it would mean dooming another life. What was he to do? He cursed Ylindar internally. Honorable? Horse shit.
"Leave me.", said the tall human, "Leave me behind and take her. Please." The captain was stunned, to say the least.
"Excellent", said Ylindar, "It appears you can bring them all. Enjoy your spoils.". With that, he left.
The woman thanked the tall man who then grabbed the captain by the arm and looked him in the eyes. "If anything happens to her, I will hold you responsible.", he said.
The captain nodded, "You have my word, warrior.". The man was dragged to the elven slave lines and pushed through the rift.
Ylindar was sitting at his desk writing a letter to the troops on the other side, saying the invasion was a success and a foothold was established. Handing the letter to a messenger he got up and walked to observe his army. Ten thousand elves, all gathered in a barbaric land to bring civilization. He looked up in the sky and saw the wyverns flying through the air. As he looked at them he didn't feel proud, he felt confused. There were too few of them. He brought fifty wyverns, which is half of an army's corps. Now there were less than two dozen. How?
His question would be answered as several strange contraptions flew in the air at the wyverns. They didn't have wings but still flew in a straight line. The wyverns outnumbered them and Ylindar assumed this was a victory, but his hopes were crushed as the contraptions fired what looked like cannons and tore through the wyverns like a sword through parchment.
He stepped back in shock and watched as the cannon-wielding machines finished the wyverns and turned towards them.
"General!", called a soldier, "Enemy carriages approach! It appears to be their army!"
Ylindar grinned, "At last. Soldiers of the light! Prepare yourselves! The savages have finally sent their warriors! We will crush them and clear a path for our reinforcements! Formations!"
The infantry prepared their shields and spears, archers and mages took their positions, it was time to face this world's true force. The metal carriages halted and out of them came out dozens of soldiers. Then dozens more came from flying contraptions.
Raising his sword, Ylindar yelled out the order, "Attack!".
---
"Here they come!", yelled Paterson.
"Open fire!", ordered Jefferson. The rifles, machine guns, and grenade launchers wreaked havoc upon the enemy. Bullets tore through shields, machine guns ripped people apart, and explosions turned any poor fool near it into minced meat. Their tight formations only added to their demise.
The attack helicopters arrived when they finished the dragon things and opened fire with their chain guns and anti-infantry rockets. The enemies fell by the thousands and some even started to retreat while most fell to their knees and begged for mercy.
When the firing stopped all that was left of the ten thousand enemy soldiers were scorched bodies riddled with holes. There was almost nothing left of their camp. The screaming soldiers were taken into custody. All but one guy with a cape.
"You-You dare!", yelled the blue-skinned man, "Do you have any idea who I am!? Who I represent!? You shall suffer for your barbarism!". He drew his sword and ran to the nearest soldier, who promptly raised his rifle and shot him in the chest twice.
"Round them all up.", ordered Jefferson, "Send word to HQ that it's over."
The enemy captives were loaded up into trucks and sent to Fort Curz for questioning. As they were being loaded up, one of the blue soldiers started smiling and chuckling. "What's so funny?", asked Paterson.
"This is only the beginning.", he replied. Paterson widened his eyes and ran to Jefferson.
"Sir!"
"What is it?"
"I just information on the attack. This was the first wave. More are coming."
Jefferson wasted no time in reacting and grabbed his radio, "All units, prepare for a second attack! Air squadrons, hold your positions until enough of them group up and shot down those dragons! Don't waste ammo!"
"Rodger that.", said a pilot. The guard and police force pulled back and created a semi-circle out of armored vehicles facing the portal. Hundreds of rifles and machine guns were pointed toward the shining rectangle.
---
Captain Zorgin led the second wave through the rift. The remaining forty thousand elves and ten thousand dwarves marched to the other side. But something wasn't right. When the messenger arrived he reported that the invasion was a success, but later dozens of soldiers came back saying that they should not go through. They came saying how the savages have great machines of death capable of destroying armies. Be that as it may, general Ylindar was out there and Zorgin swore he would bring him back.
"General Bardek!", he called, "You will lead the charge with your troops. After you get through, our cavalry and wyverns will enter and attack."
"Right.", said Bardek, "I can't let Dalmin have all the fun after all.". He rushed forward on his war hog, leading his troops. "Warriors of Nundolar! The enemy we face is formidable! But we will show them the might of dwarven steel!". The dwarven warrior roared and charged through the rift. As soon as they passed through they were met with a horrid sight.
Thousands dead and burned, the camp nor the general could be seen, only the line of carriages and hundreds of enemy soldiers. Bardek didn't stop to think. The adrenalin carried him forward. He charged with his troops, screaming and firing, hoping he could break the enemy's defenses. But hopes were not enough. The enemy opened fire and Bardek experienced true fear. His hog was shot and he fell to the ground. The enemy's boomsticks fired without stopping, their cannons killed dozens of soldiers with each blast, and they couldn't even get close. His pride, his dwarven pride, was broken. He could only lie down and pray he would survive.
Zorgin led his cavalry through. He looked for his general but found nothing but dead bodies and ash. He snapped back as he heard cannon fire and redirected his troops. "Over there! Their flank is less defended! We will break it, come on!". Leading the cavalry charge he kept observing the enemy. They had strange-looking black shields and only a single line between two carriages. They opened fire with their boomsticks and Zorgin's cavalry started taking casualties but still held on. Zorgin was closing in, but then the enemy soldiers fired some sort of metal boxes that spewed smoke. 'What trickery is this?', Zorgin thought, but when the smoke spread and got into their eyes, they understood its purpose. It made their eyes burn and they could hardly breathe. The horses were affected the same way as they stopped in their tracks. They couldn't see anything but they felt as if they were knocked out.
More and more soldiers exited the rift and with their sheer numbers, they were starting to get close. But as they did, the flying monsters of metal rained fire upon them and their numbers kept dropping. The wyverns were blown to pieces by either them or the cannons. It wasn't a battle, it was more of a one-sided slaughter. Only a few dozen were able to run back to the rift. Most were either wounded, screaming from the killer smoke or just lying down and surrendered. Surprisingly, the enemy took them captive instead of killing them. Zorgin tried to resist but to no avail.
"Where is general Ylindar?!", he yelled as he was dragged, "I demand you answer me immediately!"
One of the soldiers in light brown armor came up to him and grabbed him by the arm and dragged him in another direction. After stopping he pushed him to his knees. "Here.", he spoke, "Is this him?"
Zorgin could barely see, his vision was foggy, but there was no mistaking it. The armor, the cape, the helmet, it was him. Zorgin shed tears of regret, regret that he failed in his duty.
"I'll take that as a yes.", said the soldier before lifting Zorgin back on his feet.
"You haven't won!", Zorgin yelled, "Our fleet has taken your shores by now! Soon enough, more ships will follow and you will perish!"
"I wouldn't worry about that.", said the soldier in a calm tone, leaving Zorgin puzzled.
---
Three hours earlier
South coast of California, Del Mar, near San Diego
Admiral Lothar Tanros has passed through the rift. Large enough for more than a dozen ships to pass through it advanced his progress. Each fleet was well-equipped for an invasion. It consisted of twenty troop carriers with held ten thousand troops in total, thirty attack ships with eight cannons, five wyvern carriers with five to six wyverns each, and forty-five supply ships with materials necessary to build and sustain the fleet and build a coastal fortification. All are led by the admiral's personal grand ship. A huge naval vessel with several sails and cannons on both sides. Truly a powerful presentation.
"Admiral!", shouted the first mate, "Land is within sight!"
"Excellent!", said Lothar, "Let the wyvern carriers pass through first. I want air superiority as soon as possible. Along with them, I want half of our troop carriers. We need to take the shore immediately."
"Yes, admiral!".
---
Lieutenant Mitch Floyd was just doing his routine patrols. It was his turn to take the patrol boat for a spin. All he had to do was go to Dana point and back, simple, he's done it dozens of times before. All the while the crew was gathered around a TV and watching the live recordings of the attack in North Carolina. What they felt was beyond words.
"Sir, how can you not watch this?", asked a crew member.
"It's cause I trust our boys to kill those freaks.", Mitch replied, "Don't you?"
"W-Well of course but, damn. This shit is insane. Gotta say I'm jealous, I kinda want to shoot some dragons."
"Careful watch you wish for, kid.". As Mitch sailed on he began to notice something strange in front. A large number of wooden ships heading towards Del mar. In the sky were large dragon-like reptiles. 'Just my luck.", Mitch thought.
"Battle stations!", ordered Mitchel, "Looks like your wish came true Fred!"
Fred looked out and saw three dragons flying toward them, "Holy shit! I didn't mean now!". He ran towards the .50 caliber machine gun and readied himself. The cyclone class patrol boat wasn't something to be messed with. As the dragons got closer, the 25mm machine gun raised itself, aimed, and let loose. The lizards couldn't even react before they got turned into Swiss cheese.
"Woohoo!", cheered Fred, "We got 'em!"
"Don't open the champagne just yet!", Mitch shouted, "We still have those ships to deal with. I count roughly a hundred, various sizes. Richerdson, get in contact with HQ! Tell them what's going on, we need air support. Alert the National guard as well."
"Yes, sir!", said Richerdson.
'God help us.', Mitch thought as he sailed into the fray.
---
"Admiral!", yelled the first mate, "Some of our wyverns have been killed."
"Where?", Lothar asked.
"They spotted a ship coming from the south and decided to deal with it, but now they're dead."
"A single ship?"
"That is what the captain said."
"Tell them to send what attack ships are near to destroy it. Nothing must disrupt this invasion."
"Yes, Admiral."
On the shore, the savages run. They run from the water and into their city. The wyverns already started swooping down and devouring them. Their soldiers in blue clothing fired at them with their boomsticks but did next to nothing. A few managed to shoot down the riders, but that didn't stop the wyverns themselves. Now that the shore was empty, the troops could move in. Dozens of landing boats rowed to the shore and dropped off hundreds of soldiers who rallied and attacked the savages, but their weapons halted the assault.
"Push through!", yelled a lieutenant, "They are few in numbers! We must clear a path!". At that moment, two wyverns descended unto their carriages and destroyed the soldiers in blue. With that, the cohort marched on and reached the wide road. However, in the distance, they saw more metal carriages, but these were bigger and in a different color, with large boomsticks on top. The wyverns flew at them, but they soon got shot down and the carriages halted. Out of them came dozens of enemy soldiers, all dressed in vastly different armor than their blue counterparts.
The cohort got into a shield formation and the mages prepared to block the enemy's weapons, but they couldn't. Their magic wasn't working. "Do not falter!", the lieutenant shouted, "We must-". His mouth stopped moving as soon as it got blown to pieces by the enemy. The shields and armor provided them with no protection. They were all cut down and the enemy advanced. More and more of their carriages arrived and they quickly retook the shore.
"Admiral, we have a problem on the shore.", said the first mate.
"I can see that!", yelled Lothar, "Tell the attack ships to form a firing line and destroy the enemy! We cannot let them... are you listening?". The first mate pointed out towards the approaching ships in the distance. Five of them, two large and the rest smaller, all made of metal, and above them over a dozen flying arrowheads, dropping what looked like eggs. Each 'egg' landed on a ship and blew it to pieces. Dozens of ships were destroyed just like that. Lothar didn't have the words to express himself. He kept looking toward the enemy ships as they aimed their cannons and fired from impossible distances. The crew panicked and begged for help, but Lothar couldn't say anything. In his final moments, he watched as a giant metal rod flew into the sky from one of the ships and blew him to pieces along with his crew and ship.
---
"Boom!", cheered Fred, "They got the big one!"
"Shut up!", shouted Mitch, "Let's do what we came here to do.". He guided his cyclone patrol boat along with another one towards the enemy 'landing crafts'. The two opened fire with their 25mm chainguns they tore through the boats and ripped the soldiers inside apart, scattering their remains across the water. Along the way, they picked up the handful of survivors and tied them up.
In the main battle, two destroyers, USS Dewey-2, and Cutter opened fire on the enemy fleet. They targeted the largest ones first, and when they were done they moved on to the armed ships. The enemy was in complete chaos. Destroying the lead ship with the cruiser missile was a good idea, now they were leaderless and easy to take out.
The jets destroyed the ships on the outer formations and later moved inwards. Eventually, there were only thirteen ships left. Four had cannons and nine looked like they just carried supplies. They surrendered and raised white flags, a smart move. The coast guard boarded and cleared all of them before arresting the crew and towing the ships back.
"This is quite a mess lieutenant.", Fred said.
"It is. You just had to wish for a dragon, huh?"
Now that the attacks were stopped, the hard part began. Counting the losses and making a plan for what to do next.
End of chapter 3
---
Sorry for the short chapter, in hindsight I should have just written one very long one. Won't happen again, pinky promise.
Thank you very much for watching. If you'd like to support me (for some freakin' reason) and get access to future chapters early feel free to upvote, follow, and support me on Patreon:
patreon.com/SimpleWrites
submitted by Sinpleton025 to HFY [link] [comments]
Two hours since the invasion began
The invasion is a success. Thousands of savages have been purged and dozens captured. Not as frightening as the vision said, but the description holds true. These are the pale skin. Strangely, some of them have very dark skin and some even have skin as brown as a dwarf's. Strange indeed. Most men were taller than elves and Rosians but not as tall as an orc.
"Excellent.", Ylindar said as he observed the captives being sent through the rift, "They will be fine specimens for studying. We must find their weakness."
The 'humans', as they called themselves, resisted but fell in line eventually. The smaller ones cried and called out to their parents. It made the Rosians present sick. One of the women broke the line and ran to Ylindar. "Please! Stop this! Why are you doing this? Who are you?", she said through tears and shaking breaths.
Ylindar slapped her, causing her to fall to the ground. "Silence you wench! You are not worthy of being in my presence, let alone speak to me. Take her!". Soldiers hoisted her up and dragged her towards the others.
"You monsters!", yelled a man, "You will pay for this! You will all die her-". Before he could say more, Ylindar pierced his chest with his sword. Then he turned to the rest of the captives, "Any more of you savages willing to test me?"
"Stop!", yelled the Rosian captain present, "I demand you give us our share now."
Ylindar raised an eyebrow to that, "Your share?"
"Yes. We fought, pillaged, and brought captives. We did what you asked and now it is your turn to keep your end of the deal."
This made Ylindar chuckle, but he would humor the young Rosian, "Very well. We are an honorable empire after all. You may choose ten captives and split them amongst yourselves."
"Ten?"
"Yes. Take them now before I change my mind."
The captain faced the captains. In truth, he wanted to save the weak and innocent ones from suffering, but he couldn't save them all. He pointed to them one by one, picking out the children and elderly first as well as a woman with a child and a strong tall man who fought against the ferals and dwarves. Perhaps he could give them some insight.
"You over exceed Rosian. I said ten.", said Ylindar.
"This is ten people."
"She counts as two.", he said as he pointed to the pregnant woman.
"She is with child. That is unfair."
"And what will you do about it?"
The captain stuttered. He wanted to save her but it would mean dooming another life. What was he to do? He cursed Ylindar internally. Honorable? Horse shit.
"Leave me.", said the tall human, "Leave me behind and take her. Please." The captain was stunned, to say the least.
"Excellent", said Ylindar, "It appears you can bring them all. Enjoy your spoils.". With that, he left.
The woman thanked the tall man who then grabbed the captain by the arm and looked him in the eyes. "If anything happens to her, I will hold you responsible.", he said.
The captain nodded, "You have my word, warrior.". The man was dragged to the elven slave lines and pushed through the rift.
Ylindar was sitting at his desk writing a letter to the troops on the other side, saying the invasion was a success and a foothold was established. Handing the letter to a messenger he got up and walked to observe his army. Ten thousand elves, all gathered in a barbaric land to bring civilization. He looked up in the sky and saw the wyverns flying through the air. As he looked at them he didn't feel proud, he felt confused. There were too few of them. He brought fifty wyverns, which is half of an army's corps. Now there were less than two dozen. How?
His question would be answered as several strange contraptions flew in the air at the wyverns. They didn't have wings but still flew in a straight line. The wyverns outnumbered them and Ylindar assumed this was a victory, but his hopes were crushed as the contraptions fired what looked like cannons and tore through the wyverns like a sword through parchment.
He stepped back in shock and watched as the cannon-wielding machines finished the wyverns and turned towards them.
"General!", called a soldier, "Enemy carriages approach! It appears to be their army!"
Ylindar grinned, "At last. Soldiers of the light! Prepare yourselves! The savages have finally sent their warriors! We will crush them and clear a path for our reinforcements! Formations!"
The infantry prepared their shields and spears, archers and mages took their positions, it was time to face this world's true force. The metal carriages halted and out of them came out dozens of soldiers. Then dozens more came from flying contraptions.
Raising his sword, Ylindar yelled out the order, "Attack!".
---
"Here they come!", yelled Paterson.
"Open fire!", ordered Jefferson. The rifles, machine guns, and grenade launchers wreaked havoc upon the enemy. Bullets tore through shields, machine guns ripped people apart, and explosions turned any poor fool near it into minced meat. Their tight formations only added to their demise.
The attack helicopters arrived when they finished the dragon things and opened fire with their chain guns and anti-infantry rockets. The enemies fell by the thousands and some even started to retreat while most fell to their knees and begged for mercy.
When the firing stopped all that was left of the ten thousand enemy soldiers were scorched bodies riddled with holes. There was almost nothing left of their camp. The screaming soldiers were taken into custody. All but one guy with a cape.
"You-You dare!", yelled the blue-skinned man, "Do you have any idea who I am!? Who I represent!? You shall suffer for your barbarism!". He drew his sword and ran to the nearest soldier, who promptly raised his rifle and shot him in the chest twice.
"Round them all up.", ordered Jefferson, "Send word to HQ that it's over."
The enemy captives were loaded up into trucks and sent to Fort Curz for questioning. As they were being loaded up, one of the blue soldiers started smiling and chuckling. "What's so funny?", asked Paterson.
"This is only the beginning.", he replied. Paterson widened his eyes and ran to Jefferson.
"Sir!"
"What is it?"
"I just information on the attack. This was the first wave. More are coming."
Jefferson wasted no time in reacting and grabbed his radio, "All units, prepare for a second attack! Air squadrons, hold your positions until enough of them group up and shot down those dragons! Don't waste ammo!"
"Rodger that.", said a pilot. The guard and police force pulled back and created a semi-circle out of armored vehicles facing the portal. Hundreds of rifles and machine guns were pointed toward the shining rectangle.
---
Captain Zorgin led the second wave through the rift. The remaining forty thousand elves and ten thousand dwarves marched to the other side. But something wasn't right. When the messenger arrived he reported that the invasion was a success, but later dozens of soldiers came back saying that they should not go through. They came saying how the savages have great machines of death capable of destroying armies. Be that as it may, general Ylindar was out there and Zorgin swore he would bring him back.
"General Bardek!", he called, "You will lead the charge with your troops. After you get through, our cavalry and wyverns will enter and attack."
"Right.", said Bardek, "I can't let Dalmin have all the fun after all.". He rushed forward on his war hog, leading his troops. "Warriors of Nundolar! The enemy we face is formidable! But we will show them the might of dwarven steel!". The dwarven warrior roared and charged through the rift. As soon as they passed through they were met with a horrid sight.
Thousands dead and burned, the camp nor the general could be seen, only the line of carriages and hundreds of enemy soldiers. Bardek didn't stop to think. The adrenalin carried him forward. He charged with his troops, screaming and firing, hoping he could break the enemy's defenses. But hopes were not enough. The enemy opened fire and Bardek experienced true fear. His hog was shot and he fell to the ground. The enemy's boomsticks fired without stopping, their cannons killed dozens of soldiers with each blast, and they couldn't even get close. His pride, his dwarven pride, was broken. He could only lie down and pray he would survive.
Zorgin led his cavalry through. He looked for his general but found nothing but dead bodies and ash. He snapped back as he heard cannon fire and redirected his troops. "Over there! Their flank is less defended! We will break it, come on!". Leading the cavalry charge he kept observing the enemy. They had strange-looking black shields and only a single line between two carriages. They opened fire with their boomsticks and Zorgin's cavalry started taking casualties but still held on. Zorgin was closing in, but then the enemy soldiers fired some sort of metal boxes that spewed smoke. 'What trickery is this?', Zorgin thought, but when the smoke spread and got into their eyes, they understood its purpose. It made their eyes burn and they could hardly breathe. The horses were affected the same way as they stopped in their tracks. They couldn't see anything but they felt as if they were knocked out.
More and more soldiers exited the rift and with their sheer numbers, they were starting to get close. But as they did, the flying monsters of metal rained fire upon them and their numbers kept dropping. The wyverns were blown to pieces by either them or the cannons. It wasn't a battle, it was more of a one-sided slaughter. Only a few dozen were able to run back to the rift. Most were either wounded, screaming from the killer smoke or just lying down and surrendered. Surprisingly, the enemy took them captive instead of killing them. Zorgin tried to resist but to no avail.
"Where is general Ylindar?!", he yelled as he was dragged, "I demand you answer me immediately!"
One of the soldiers in light brown armor came up to him and grabbed him by the arm and dragged him in another direction. After stopping he pushed him to his knees. "Here.", he spoke, "Is this him?"
Zorgin could barely see, his vision was foggy, but there was no mistaking it. The armor, the cape, the helmet, it was him. Zorgin shed tears of regret, regret that he failed in his duty.
"I'll take that as a yes.", said the soldier before lifting Zorgin back on his feet.
"You haven't won!", Zorgin yelled, "Our fleet has taken your shores by now! Soon enough, more ships will follow and you will perish!"
"I wouldn't worry about that.", said the soldier in a calm tone, leaving Zorgin puzzled.
---
Three hours earlier
South coast of California, Del Mar, near San Diego
Admiral Lothar Tanros has passed through the rift. Large enough for more than a dozen ships to pass through it advanced his progress. Each fleet was well-equipped for an invasion. It consisted of twenty troop carriers with held ten thousand troops in total, thirty attack ships with eight cannons, five wyvern carriers with five to six wyverns each, and forty-five supply ships with materials necessary to build and sustain the fleet and build a coastal fortification. All are led by the admiral's personal grand ship. A huge naval vessel with several sails and cannons on both sides. Truly a powerful presentation.
"Admiral!", shouted the first mate, "Land is within sight!"
"Excellent!", said Lothar, "Let the wyvern carriers pass through first. I want air superiority as soon as possible. Along with them, I want half of our troop carriers. We need to take the shore immediately."
"Yes, admiral!".
---
Lieutenant Mitch Floyd was just doing his routine patrols. It was his turn to take the patrol boat for a spin. All he had to do was go to Dana point and back, simple, he's done it dozens of times before. All the while the crew was gathered around a TV and watching the live recordings of the attack in North Carolina. What they felt was beyond words.
"Sir, how can you not watch this?", asked a crew member.
"It's cause I trust our boys to kill those freaks.", Mitch replied, "Don't you?"
"W-Well of course but, damn. This shit is insane. Gotta say I'm jealous, I kinda want to shoot some dragons."
"Careful watch you wish for, kid.". As Mitch sailed on he began to notice something strange in front. A large number of wooden ships heading towards Del mar. In the sky were large dragon-like reptiles. 'Just my luck.", Mitch thought.
"Battle stations!", ordered Mitchel, "Looks like your wish came true Fred!"
Fred looked out and saw three dragons flying toward them, "Holy shit! I didn't mean now!". He ran towards the .50 caliber machine gun and readied himself. The cyclone class patrol boat wasn't something to be messed with. As the dragons got closer, the 25mm machine gun raised itself, aimed, and let loose. The lizards couldn't even react before they got turned into Swiss cheese.
"Woohoo!", cheered Fred, "We got 'em!"
"Don't open the champagne just yet!", Mitch shouted, "We still have those ships to deal with. I count roughly a hundred, various sizes. Richerdson, get in contact with HQ! Tell them what's going on, we need air support. Alert the National guard as well."
"Yes, sir!", said Richerdson.
'God help us.', Mitch thought as he sailed into the fray.
---
"Admiral!", yelled the first mate, "Some of our wyverns have been killed."
"Where?", Lothar asked.
"They spotted a ship coming from the south and decided to deal with it, but now they're dead."
"A single ship?"
"That is what the captain said."
"Tell them to send what attack ships are near to destroy it. Nothing must disrupt this invasion."
"Yes, Admiral."
On the shore, the savages run. They run from the water and into their city. The wyverns already started swooping down and devouring them. Their soldiers in blue clothing fired at them with their boomsticks but did next to nothing. A few managed to shoot down the riders, but that didn't stop the wyverns themselves. Now that the shore was empty, the troops could move in. Dozens of landing boats rowed to the shore and dropped off hundreds of soldiers who rallied and attacked the savages, but their weapons halted the assault.
"Push through!", yelled a lieutenant, "They are few in numbers! We must clear a path!". At that moment, two wyverns descended unto their carriages and destroyed the soldiers in blue. With that, the cohort marched on and reached the wide road. However, in the distance, they saw more metal carriages, but these were bigger and in a different color, with large boomsticks on top. The wyverns flew at them, but they soon got shot down and the carriages halted. Out of them came dozens of enemy soldiers, all dressed in vastly different armor than their blue counterparts.
The cohort got into a shield formation and the mages prepared to block the enemy's weapons, but they couldn't. Their magic wasn't working. "Do not falter!", the lieutenant shouted, "We must-". His mouth stopped moving as soon as it got blown to pieces by the enemy. The shields and armor provided them with no protection. They were all cut down and the enemy advanced. More and more of their carriages arrived and they quickly retook the shore.
"Admiral, we have a problem on the shore.", said the first mate.
"I can see that!", yelled Lothar, "Tell the attack ships to form a firing line and destroy the enemy! We cannot let them... are you listening?". The first mate pointed out towards the approaching ships in the distance. Five of them, two large and the rest smaller, all made of metal, and above them over a dozen flying arrowheads, dropping what looked like eggs. Each 'egg' landed on a ship and blew it to pieces. Dozens of ships were destroyed just like that. Lothar didn't have the words to express himself. He kept looking toward the enemy ships as they aimed their cannons and fired from impossible distances. The crew panicked and begged for help, but Lothar couldn't say anything. In his final moments, he watched as a giant metal rod flew into the sky from one of the ships and blew him to pieces along with his crew and ship.
---
"Boom!", cheered Fred, "They got the big one!"
"Shut up!", shouted Mitch, "Let's do what we came here to do.". He guided his cyclone patrol boat along with another one towards the enemy 'landing crafts'. The two opened fire with their 25mm chainguns they tore through the boats and ripped the soldiers inside apart, scattering their remains across the water. Along the way, they picked up the handful of survivors and tied them up.
In the main battle, two destroyers, USS Dewey-2, and Cutter opened fire on the enemy fleet. They targeted the largest ones first, and when they were done they moved on to the armed ships. The enemy was in complete chaos. Destroying the lead ship with the cruiser missile was a good idea, now they were leaderless and easy to take out.
The jets destroyed the ships on the outer formations and later moved inwards. Eventually, there were only thirteen ships left. Four had cannons and nine looked like they just carried supplies. They surrendered and raised white flags, a smart move. The coast guard boarded and cleared all of them before arresting the crew and towing the ships back.
"This is quite a mess lieutenant.", Fred said.
"It is. You just had to wish for a dragon, huh?"
Now that the attacks were stopped, the hard part began. Counting the losses and making a plan for what to do next.
End of chapter 3
---
Sorry for the short chapter, in hindsight I should have just written one very long one. Won't happen again, pinky promise.
Thank you very much for watching. If you'd like to support me (for some freakin' reason) and get access to future chapters early feel free to upvote, follow, and support me on Patreon:
patreon.com/SimpleWrites
2023.03.26 10:34 Deadlydiamond98 Using AI, I have made 3 scripts based off of the beloved Bert Strips (Also Image in order to stay in line with bertstrips)
First... Here's the required Bertstrip in order to post this.
https://preview.redd.it/o4u7hdnoo1qa1.png?width=471&format=png&auto=webp&s=f38e8b00d7306b0e5f8fdcf62830c0ca92b29b9eBig Birds War Crimes and Incelmo is Incelmo
[Scene: The streets of Sesame Street. Big Bird is seen standing in front of a destroyed building with a gun in his hand. Elmo and Abby approach him.]Big Bird: [Proudly] Ah, hello there! I just committed some war crimes in Czechoslovakia! [Chuckles]
Abby: [Horrified] What?! That's terrible, Big Bird!
Elmo: [Excitedly] Wow, Big Bird! That's so cool! I wish I could've been there with you!
Big Bird: [Grinning] Well, Elmo, maybe one day you'll get your chance.
Abby: [Angry] Big Bird, how could you do something like that? Innocent people were hurt because of you!
Big Bird: [Offensively] Oh, please. They're just foreigners. They don't matter.
Elmo: [Incel-like tone] Yeah, and besides, Abby, you're just a woman. You wouldn't understand.
Abby: [Furious] That's it, I've had enough of you two! I'm leaving!
[Abby storms off]
Big Bird: [Laughing] Good riddance!
Elmo: [Creepily] Yeah, I'm glad she's gone. She was always so uptight.
[Elmo looks at a group of children passing by and starts to follow them]
Big Bird: [Grinning] You know, Elmo, I always knew you were a man of my own heart. We should do more stuff like this together.
Elmo: [Enthusiastically] Yes! We could go around scaring women and children together! It would be so much fun!
[The two start to laugh as the camera fades to black]
[Scene: Later that day. Abby is seen sitting on a bench, visibly upset. Elmo approaches her.]
Elmo: [Smiling] Hey, Abby! What's wrong?
Abby: [Tearfully] Oh, Elmo. I just can't believe the things you and Big Bird were saying earlier. It's not right to hurt innocent people.
Elmo: [Trying to be comforting] Come on, Abby. You're just upset because you don't understand how the world really works.
Abby: [Angry] That's not true! I understand perfectly well that it's wrong to hurt people.
Elmo: [Creepily] You know, Abby, you're kind of cute when you're angry.
Abby: [Horrified] What?! Elmo, that's disgusting!
Elmo: [Incel-like tone] I'm sorry, Abby. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that... well, I've been feeling really lonely lately. I thought maybe you and I could go out sometime?
Abby: [Appalled] No way, Elmo! I would never date someone like you!
Elmo: [Getting angry] What's wrong with me, Abby? Am I not good enough for you?
Abby: [Backing away] No, Elmo! You're not good enough for anyone! You're a convicted rapist, for goodness' sake!
Elmo: [Fuming] How dare you bring up my past like that! You don't know anything about me!
Abby: [Firmly] I know enough to stay away from you. You and Big Bird are dangerous and immoral.
Elmo: [Threateningly] You shouldn't have said that, Abby. You're going to regret it.
[Elmo's eyes narrow and he takes a step closer to Abby. Suddenly, Big Bird appears from behind a nearby trash can, holding a large rock in his hand.]
Big Bird: That's enough, Elmo.
Elmo: [Surprised] Big Bird? What are you doing here?
Big Bird: [Racism seeping through] I was just taking care of some business in Czechoslovakia, but I heard your conversation with Abby. You're making a scene, and I won't stand for it.
Abby: [Backing away] Big Bird, please don't hurt me.
Big Bird: [Menacingly] Don't worry, Abby. I'm not going to hurt you. But Elmo needs to be taught a lesson.
[Big Bird raises the rock and brings it down hard on Elmo's head. Elmo falls to the ground, unconscious.]
Abby: [Screaming] Oh my God, you killed him!
Big Bird: [Shrugging] He had it coming. And you should know better than to get involved with people like us.
[Big Bird walks away as Abby stands there, crying and shaking. The camera zooms in on Elmo's motionless body, his eyes staring blankly up at the sky.]
[End of scene]
Grover Killed Mr Johnson's Wife and Procedes to Torture him
The scene opens on Mr. Johnson's house. Grover has just finished killing Mr. Johnson's wife in a gruesome way, and he's now standing in the living room, staring at Mr. Johnson with a sick grin on his face.Grover: (laughing) Oh Mr. Johnson, you should have seen the look on your wife's face! It was priceless! (he pulls out a knife and twirls it in his hand) And the way her blood sprayed everywhere... (he starts to lick the blood off the knife) Delicious.
Mr. Johnson: (sobbing) Why did you do this? Why would you kill my wife?
Grover: (sneering) Oh come on, Mr. Johnson. Don't act like you don't know. You've been a thorn in my side for far too long. I needed to send you a message.
Mr. Johnson: (clutching his head) Please, just let me go. I won't tell anyone what happened.
Grover: (laughing) Oh Mr. Johnson, you're so naive. Of course I'm not going to let you go. I'm going to make you suffer. I'm going to torture you in ways you never thought possible.
Mr. Johnson: (begging) No, please! I'll do anything!
Grover: (smirking) Anything, you say? (he walks over to Mr. Johnson and leans in close) Well then, let's get started.
The scene fades to black, and when it fades back in, we see Mr. Johnson tied to a chair. Grover is standing in front of him, holding a blowtorch.
Grover: (smiling) Now Mr. Johnson, I'm going to give you a choice. I can either burn off your fingers one by one, or I can burn off your eyelids. Which would you prefer?
Mr. Johnson: (screaming) No, please! Don't do this!
Grover: (laughing) Oh Mr. Johnson, you're so melodramatic. Just choose already.
Mr. Johnson: (sobbing) Fingers. Burn off my fingers.
Grover: (shrugging) Suit yourself. (he turns on the blowtorch and brings it closer to Mr. Johnson's hand)
We hear Mr. Johnson's screams as Grover begins to burn off his fingers one by one. The camera pans away, but we can still hear the screams and the sound of flesh being seared.
The scene fades to black again, and when it fades back in, we see Mr. Johnson lying on the ground, his fingers now stumps. Grover is standing over him, holding a gun.
Grover: (smiling) You know, Mr. Johnson, I'm getting tired of this game. It's time to end it.
Mr. Johnson: (weakly) Please, no more.
Grover: (sneering) Oh, I'm not going to kill you, Mr. Johnson. That would be too easy. (he puts the gun away and kneels down beside him) No, I'm going to let you live. I want you to suffer every day for the rest of your miserable life, knowing that your wife's death is your fault.
Mr. Johnson: (crying) Please, just kill me.
Grover: (smiling) Oh Mr. Johnson, you're not getting off that easy. You're going to live with the guilt of her death forever.
[Grover]: *smiling and happy* Oh, Mr. Johnson, I almost forgot! I have a little gift for you! *Grover then takes out a small bag from his pocket and hands it to Mr. Johnson*
[Mr. Johnson]: *uninterested* What is this?
[Grover]: *laughing* It's a little souvenir from your wife! *Grover then walks away while laughing and waving goodbye*
The scene closes as Grover walks upstairs and shuts the basement door behind him.
Bert's Secret Sex Dungeon
The scene opens with Bert and Ernie on the Sesame Street set, playing with their toys.Bert: "Hey, Ernie, have you heard about the secret Nazi Sex dungeon we have in the basement?"
Ernie: "What?! No, Bert! That's terrible! We can't be involved in something like that!"
Bert: "Oh, come on, Ernie. It's not that bad. We just keep Bort locked up down there, and we have a little fun every now and then."
Ernie: "Bort? Who's Bort?"
Bert: "Oh, you know, that little blue guy with the big eyes. He's our little secret."
Ernie: "Bert, this is wrong. We can't keep someone locked up like that. It's inhumane!"
Bert: "Relax, Ernie. Bort likes it down there. He's our little plaything."
Ernie: "I can't believe you would do something like this, Bert. I'm going to have to tell the others about this."
Bert: "No, you can't do that, Ernie. This is our little secret. No one can know about it."
Ernie: "I'm sorry, Bert, but I have to do what's right."
Ernie goes to tell the others about Bert and Ernie's secret Nazi Sex dungeon, but they don't believe him. They think he's making it up to get attention. So, Ernie decides to take matters into his own hands.
He sneaks into the basement and finds Bort locked up in a cage. Bort is crying and begging for help.
Ernie: "Don't worry, Bort. I'm going to get you out of here."
Just as he's about to unlock the cage, Bert and his friends catch him in the act.
Bert: "Ernie, what are you doing down here? You know this is our little secret."
Ernie: "I can't let you keep Bort locked up like this, Bert. It's not right."
Bert: "You're right, Ernie. It's not right. But we can't let you tell anyone about this. We have to keep our little secret safe."
Ernie: "I'm sorry, Bert. I have to do what's right."
Bert and his friends lock Ernie up with Bort in the cage. They tell him that he'll never be allowed out, and that he'll never see the light of day again.
Ernie: "Bert, how could you do this? You were my best friend."
Bert: "I'm sorry, Ernie. But you left me no choice."
The episode ends with Ernie and Bort locked up in the cage, crying and begging for help. Bert and his friends are shown laughing and walking away, satisfied that their little secret is safe.
2023.03.26 10:31 vdilumfljt 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by vdilumfljt to g53y03339n [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/pn20kwgao1qa1.gifthrough his suit. and decided to jack off real fast, hopping that would help me resist the beauty "Woah, where did that come from. Now I'm guessing what my 'special surprise' may be." “You can cum now Katy,” I moan. "Okay, I'll come with you, thank you Jason." She got closer to him. He turned to her and put down his shovel into the wheel barrow. She looked on with confusion written all over her face. He took two steps over to where she was standing and towered over her 5’ 2” little body. She was a trim 95 pounds but she filled out her clothes real nice. Her round little butt stretched her faded jeans out tight and her dirty tee shirt couldn’t quite conceal her smallish globes from his eyes. Her light blue eyes followed his serious face as he walked next to her and as she had to crane her neck upward to see into his dark blown eyes, her cheeks turned a crimson red from embarrassment. As the two girls headed for the house, hand in hand, Yvette looked at her friend and said, “Did you just French-Kiss my boyfriend?” head start by selling my Pokemon cards to fund my new habit. ‘Ohh my God,’ Harry panted, as Hermione released his cock and looked at him devilishly. ‘I am gonna fuck you so hard.’ Hermione smiled as Harry picked her up by her bum, wrapped her legs round his waist and forced her up against the wall. Hermione gasped as Harry ripped off her knickers, exposing her wet, pink pussy. Harry grabbed his long rod and placed it on her pussy, coating his cock even move with her pussy juices, which had started oozing out of her cunt. KhERHU Thank you for your blog article. Keep writing. Tina heaved and humped against me until I completely relaxed behind her. I rolled away; awed that sex was so incredible. I didn't have any experience to compare but I knew what we just did was awesome. She flipped to her side facing me, a shadow of worry in her eyes, “We shouldn't have done that, I don't know, I just woke up and ---” “Dad, I’m in grade 9.” I repeated. “Why do they call you Grinder,” Lissa asked as she playfully chewed on the right earlobe of her orgasming subject. Abby's flashback was prompted by her high school Girl Scout uniform. Early this morning she had put it on for the first time in years. Abby stood in front of her full-length mirror, feeling a little silly. Her uniform looked different than she remembered. Although the young mom had added only a couple of extra pounds since she was 17, she was much curvier now. The short pleated skirt hugged her round hips, and came down to just a few inches below her panties. The diagonal sash now draped snugly over a plump over-sized breast instead of the budding teenaged tit she had before. Only the perky beret -- perched on top of her blond head -- looked the same. Elsie jabbed Brie with her elbow and chuckled nervously, “That’s not true. We’ll find something for you to model for the boys.” She shot a wordless glance at Brie that said, “Don’t ruin this.” "Just hang in there for one more minute. I want to come at the same time." "Uhhh..." Ted murmurs, while giving him a dirty look. “I mean I want you to make love to me not just fuck me.” PhoenixOfKaos look hot enough for you "If you were?" “Ow,” I complained. “Let me see how you text then. I’m sure Mr. Popular has soooo many text messages to answer.” I felt his hand stroke my hair, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. “I’m sorry, Lena. I was so fucking turned on, my mind kind of went into auto mode. I didn't realize until afterwards when you locked yourself in here, and then you wouldn't open the door...” "Where the fuck did you put it," I laughed. A giggle in his mind was the only answer he got. And with the initial excitement of people's responses waning, Brandon found his thoughts moving to much more enjoyable subjects. She seemed not only excited by what was about to come but also finally getting to release her own morning bladder. Gently I spread her legs apart as she found the sides of the shower to brace herself for balance. No matter how many times I see her pussy, I will forever be in awe of the most beautiful sight I have ever laid eyes on. I couldn't resist running my finger up and down her slit while parting the lips with my thumb and forefinger. Leaning my head forward I gave her clit a few licks with my tongue to get her nice and excited to relieve herself. I grunted loudly as I filled my sister with my cum. Thrusting hard making sure every last drop came out. With a couple more slams into her I was spent. I pulled myself out and Stacey gave an audible whimper. She also has a huge crush on Steve which makes the whole thing interesting. Steve doesn’t know what to think of it. Yeah, he likes her a lot. But opening up to her, showing his true self would change her for sure. Not that he has a skeleton buried in his backyard. For him, Marie is just too innocent and he is as much of a kinky pervert as his sister seems to be. Snake: Wait, so Kyle Wade is in play? On Bookworm’s end, for now, but in play? On Sunday, Michelle and I went to Regal. I bought her tickets and snacks and everything. I knew I wasn’t going to get any action today, but why not try for the future? “Yea, dad, it was a pretty calm weekend. We didn’t even leave the house, except Sarah went over to a friend’s house during the party. She isn’t too fond of my friends. Aunt Peggy stopped over for a while but nothing too exciting happened. We even cleaned up our mess afterwards.” True story. So for security purposes the girl will be named 'Amy'. Also if I go off track by just describing her, I'm not sorry. If you met her you'd be in the exact position as I was and I am in now. “How great my life is right now, and how I have the perfect girlfriend.” “Okay, I’m not into fighting Mark. We’ve talked about this,” I tell him dropping the pads. “Mike, it’s not the big deal you’re making it out to be,” Aunt Lisa said. Slowly, Christi slid down my body and off the bed, her fingernails lightly scraping my chest as she went, giving me goosebumps. She quickly yanked my shorts and boxers off, but then stopped. Christi was staring at my fully rigid dick, lost in a look of bewilderment. “I…I…didn’t know any of them were actually this big. All my boyfriends always had small pricks, so I thought that they must all be that small,” she whispered in a barely audible tone. We kissed, and kissed, and then kissed some more. Yes, I was keenly aware of her breasts pressed against my chest – just as I’m sure her she knew that wasn’t a pickle in my pocket. However, neither of our hands strayed to any tempting regions. No over-the-shirt, under-the-shirt, over-the-bra, etc. It was just some passionate necking, as they used to say even before my time. Along the way, Wanda asked him if he brought condoms. Robert panicked because he had not even thought about that. Was his chance ruined? Would she say that they could not do it because he had forgotten to bring rubbers? Quietly, with his head down, he said no. Wanda laughed, "That's OK. Don't worry. I'm on the pill and I would rather feel your cum filling my cunt anyway." (actually they called him Horace) took a nap or two. “Maybe.” Eve says with a short pause before adding, “but the interesting kind of weird, not the freaky kind.” "Why?" she is getting nervous. I replied, “I always masturbate to thoughts of you too.” “Not exactly like this, Rose. I’m doing this because I love you. The other times were pure lust. I’m sure I lust after you even more, but I also love you terribly.” We kissed then and I pulled her down with me to the blanket. We would both cum, but tonight we would masturbate each other. I lay next to Rose, fondling her right breast with my left hand while I suckled at her left. My right hand went straight to her pussy. I wasn’t at all surprised to find it gushing with delicious juice. My fingers found her tunnel and fucked her at a frenetic pace. Her hand found my cock, but I restrained her. I wanted to make sure that she had a very pleasurable experience, one she’d want again and again. She writhed in her ecstasy and when I moved my finger to her clit she came so hard she screamed at the top of her lungs until she collapsed into my arms. L: Tap on my window when you get here, we’ll open for you. I grope at her breast, exploring the sleeping girl. Grabbing the gray bra fabric and tugging at it aggressively. Another couple snips of the fabric and I cut a sizable hole all the way through to her bare breast. A tiny little nipple peeks out. Fuck it’s so cute. Barely sticking up at all, almost inverted. The palest pink color, almost the same shade as the milky white skin around it. Small areolas barely noticeable. I quickly cut away at the other breast, salivating as I work. She moved to the bed and crawled up to me and laid by me. She reached down and grabbed my cock in her left hand while placing her lips on mine. Her lips felt like a soft rose petal to the touch. She slowly started stroking me to get me hard. She slowly started kissing her way to my left earlobe and nibbled on it. Mina then went to my neck and start licking in circles softly. Then she went back to my ear then whispered. As the ladies completed their meals the siren call of shopping called them away from the table. It was finally down to Gwen and Diana keeping me company. 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2023.03.26 10:31 amzjnwqxwu 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by amzjnwqxwu to xg9labtcrr [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/gt4kdv79o1qa1.gif“Wha-what?” DUDE MORE PRACTICE I GIVE IT A 3/10 MAKE EM LONGER MORE DETAILEZ “Hey Rick, what are you doing here, I wasn’t expecting you.” She said with forced calmness. "Hi Matthew," resonated Amy's voice from the TV, the picture revealing his youngest sister's pretty face. "Are you missing us already? I hope you are, in a nice way, of course," she added with a beguiling smile. Samantha: “Are you serious!” Cat fight? Belle was staring daggers at Joe, warning him to keep civil. “It was great hanging with you guys. The game was fun. I hope we do it again soon. What amazing friends you are,” he said in his most robotic voice. He quickly leapt out of the way to avoid a slap to the head, but it never came. Read 156180 times And she hated him for it. How could she still love him after this? But she did. She loved AND hated him for everything he had ever done. She longed to go back home, but she still longed to be with John. I looked dumbfounded at her. “How did you guess?” As she offers me the glass I notice that she is wearing a long shirt with the two top buttons undone. The outline of her 34C breasts is clearly visible. She is not wearing a bra. Oh my! She is only wearing a white shirt and some panty; I think. “Do you imagine that too? That would be bad, but I keep imagining it, except in my imagination she doesn't care. Do you ever think about mom, about you and—” "Meaning if I get out of place you gotta put me back into it. Just like I should do with you. And all that can be done without hitting. This isn't the 1950's no more, Al," Porter said, "It's how successful relationships work." Me: "Please just leave, have good time and try not to make sex tape this time" ‘Hermione,’ said Ron gently as he began to reach out a hand to her beautiful face. Suddenly, the bedroom door opened as Harry, Luna and Dean burst into the room. “If Randy and Rita weren’t messing with each other he’d definitely be dating you, same with me and Rita, we’re all just drawn to each other I guess.” “Bea!” he hugged me again. “What are you doing here?” Mrs. Brown asked, “Are you girls virgins?” "This is what you wanted right, not to have anything touching your legs? You want to be completely exposed, right?" He breathes on her crotch, causing her to squeak. “Of course I was. If I say something I mean it.” I kissed her, tasting a bit of the barbeque sauce on her lips. “Really good. I’m having fun!” I told her. “Quit beating off and get over here!” Danny said. I tried to stop her. "Hey," Molly said playfully looking down at her glistening nipples. "I didn't say anything." MM03 Deana thought about the stall rocking and the panting moans. Her cheeks were aflame, and goosebumps raced across her belly. She cupped her tits and pinched the nipples. “Okay, but what about—” Rebecca shoved a finger inside her pussy. “Ah, okay, you're gonna multitask.” Cinda arched her back and as she did she ground her clit into me with incredible force and strength. A massive spasm coursed through her body and she began to fall. She would have had I not reached up to hold and support her. I had enjoyed our coupling immensely, but I didn’t cum—I’m not Superman, after all. Cinda lay on my chest, her crotch leaking onto my abdomen. I felt her stir after almost ten minutes. “You did very well,” she whispered. The redhead started slapping the top of her thigh lightly with her left hand, slowly at first and then increasingly rapidly. She glanced at Zoe, who nodded, recognizing the rhythm. Both girls were quiet, lips parted, staring at the flicking fingers. afdad Read 11952 times "Truth or dare?" Tom asked her anticipation running through his veins. "I have a better idea" she said "lets not ask each other anymore and lets just do." inside the tight leg of her shorts. “I didn’t have a choice. This guy Taylor calls me up last year and starts going on about how we should work together to fuck Guy’s life up but I don’t want that and turn him down,” He tells me and I snap. “I heard the washing machine start up.” "Andy..." She whimpered out with a sincere look on her face that made me fall in love with her right then. off. My door was half open and I saw Parvati walk past quickly wrapped Jessica took a seat on the opposite side of her large bed and looked at her brother as he wrapped his palm around his hard shaft. She spread her legs towards him, shamelessly displaying every inch of herself. She locked eyes with her brother, exchanging an erotic, yet disturbing stare, then pushed a finger into her mouth. She could taste a hint of her own juices on it as she got it nice and wet, then pulled it out and slid it between her legs. She stifled a little moan as she pressed it to her clit, and watched her brother sensually stroking his manhood as she touched herself so lewdly. "Good, for now... Come here," she said signaling for me to follow her. “Anyway, like, a lot. I have boys that don’t even know me catcalling me and shit.” Daddydick89Report “Isaac I need Hideo now and his laptop. Bring the rest of the crew as well,” I tell my spy and off he goes. Tyler shifted uncomfortably in his seat and stammered, “N-No I don’t.” "Why not? You now you have feelings and desires, why not have them with me? I bet you fucked all the guys you went out with." Chapter 6: Plans "Do you think we could umm try some of that? I Trust you and we are all alone." Asked Jill Over head fans turn in a smoke filled haze hardly stirring the air and there appears to be near fifteen people seated or standing with at least two couples dancing a slow sensuous dance on the floor. “I was thinking about what happened, how come you did that?” The old mill house She obeyed, albeit very, very hesitantly. Oh, Harry thought, I’m going to ruin her. Timbuckedtooth_12 Darius sighed. ‘Isabelle, don’t you remember? I made you a slut and now you have to prove that you’re not.’ “I’m cumming!” I whisper as low as I can. “I know, I'm so horny, but I don't want them walking in on us having sex, that's not how I want them to find out about us,” she said disappointed. Yesterday was good and bad. Bad because of Richard Parker breaking into Sarah's house and trying to rape her. I've been keeping a straight face on but inside I'm seething with rage. I want to kill that fucker. Slowly, painfully. Actually, No! I want to hurt him so badly the very mention of my name will make him shit his pants. There's only one thing stopping me. Sarah. She likes me for who I am. That's why I like her. And I will not do anything to change her opinion of me. "Uuuuuhhhhhh ggggod!" I moaned as she began sucking my cock. less interested in making love to her. Unconsciously, Blondie supposed, I must be trying ways The couple stepped up to the edge of the stage and started to move around and the people started cheering and clapping and banging on the stage. It was pretty loud but they weren't finished yet. Sara started jiggling her tits all around and showing her pussy to the crowd. Tom watched his wife intently and suddenly his dick started to grow and soon it had stretched out to what looked like a foot long. The crowd was really going wild, we could feel the stage shaking under our feet. "Yes Sir." she sighed, her voice becoming hoarse. “I’m thinking you probably think I am some kind of a freak, having a relationship with my sister!” RJ said, afraid of the answer. “You should sit down, Quinn,” Kevin urged me in a serious voice. “You look, uh… yeah, you look… broken.” “Oh, well, he gives me the creeps.” He turned on Brittany, “And you give me endless frustration. What are you doing with your naked body dangling out in front of him like that? Sheila has a suit on and even she crouched under the water a little bit.” Sheila unconsciously stood up straighter “WAIT!” I demand. I go into my bathroom and shut the door, leaving my eyes in line with my own as I stare at my petite figure in my full length mirror. I take off my sweaty t-shirt and peel off the clingy, stretchy sports bra. I un sheathed myself from my yoga pants and panties. There I was left naked. I cupped my 36 B breasts in my hands and I gulped. I was about to show myself to my brother. 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2023.03.26 10:31 vdilumfljt 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by vdilumfljt to g53y03339n [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/h606ooq7o1qa1.gif“Just hold my hand . . .tell me what I’m supposed to do . . . I’m kind of scared” Candy ran on. With his hand on my hip, my grandfather took his right hand and slid my panties down. Then with the side of his foot, he Kicked my feet apart spreading my legs and giving him easy access to my smoothly waxed pussy. My horny little virgin pussy sensed there was a penis on the way, even though I didn't want to do this, my little virgin pussy started twitching like crazy in anticipation, of what was about to happen. I looked over my shoulder to Brandy, who remained huddling behind me in the nude. “So? She’s gotta fix her cones somehow. Why not have Skoal help her out? He can suck a—” "I am Lillian Lazarus. I have lived Seven Ages waiting for your return. I am the Alpha. You are the Omega." As she spoke her eyes lost all of their white. Inky black spheres probed at me, attempting to find a way to enter my mind. I gave her a short mental slap on the forehead and her eyes returned to normal. We all readers will be grateful to u if u post the next part within this month...looking forward 2 the next part "Pull over," she said. "I'll pee on the prairie." Doug chuckled. This little slut had earned a good story so he laid it out for her. Doug and Maddy’s Mom Melissa, grew up in this house, and they learned a lot about the world from each other. Up until Melissa’s wedding day Doug would still regularly fuck her, but only up the ass. Melissa had a bit of a drinking problem and it got to the point that Doug thought she’d spill the beans or get herself hurt, and so he reluctantly helped his parents and sister get Melissa the help she needed. It was a family effort and it worked, Doug wasn’t really that involved but he’d gotten the ball rolling. Melissa still kept their secret. Doug took the story to the present day, “Your mom called me up a couple months ago about you visiting. I thought it was a weird idea and I made it clear what I thought about female family members and she still pushed for it. I guess she thought it’d be better to learn like she did than from some drunk frat boy in college. Angie: well, so was i. Managing to hold it all in, Tommy collected himself, putting his, now fully flaccid penis back into his pants, turning the television off, and picking up the rose petals and throwing them away. The last words came out trembling with emotion. Christy looked up and saw that her sister's eyes were welling up. "Tell me what happened with Justin." “I can't...not on the phone,” Amelia cried. “I'm coming over. See you in a few.” And with that, she clicked off. “Yeah – 2’s good,” and then after a pause he added, “You okay bud? I haven’t seen you much the past few days. Hope it’s not about last weekend.” I got my weight back on him. I had no choice. I couldn’t afford to let him up, and I couldn’t afford to let him escape. If he escaped, he’d take a point and I was only up by two. I needed some leverage to screw up later. I threw a cross face just to show I was working. It was harder than it needed to be, but I wanted him on his toes. I wanted him to be worried about protecting himself, not working to his feet. He turned his face away from me… “Guy I’m here to help you move past a great many horrible things that have happened to you and for a while we had trouble, then it moved to some minor break through. From there you were wearing suits,” I note the long sleeved cotton shirt and jeans,” Then you thought everyone betrayed you and now here you are…” Isabelle hugged me closely, her hands wandering up and down my back and mine on hers as we kissed. Her hips moved quickly up and down my shaft as I penetrated her deeply. I could feel her juices dripping onto my lap as she drew closer to another orgasm. My hands went from her back to her ass as we both climaxed. Isabelle slammed down, taking in my entire throbbing length as we both orgasmed. No words were spoken, just soft moans and kisses as loads of my cum filled up the condom. I could feel Isabelle’s pussy tighten and constrict around my length as she moaned. The two attorneys rang off. Her attorney sat there and thought ‘Well I’ll be damned . . . . that is one ballsy chick!’ “Fuck this hurts but I’m not stopping until I have my first orgasm, so work harder you little shit. If you don’t make me come now I’m going to fuck your face in. That’s right, I will ride it so hard your head will disappear into my pussy, I bet you would like that you little freak.” “The WNBA, they don’t make as much as the men but Tracy and I are getting full rides and we’ve been talked to by a couple people. If we stay healthy and get our degrees done we could be picked up and then I’d be set up for a good career,” Matty tells me and I’m feeling a bit left out here. “Oh, god.” In the morning Mary Ann accidentally opened the bathroom door up while I was standing in front of the toilet pissing. She walked right in, stopped dead in her tracks, and stared at my cock. I had one of those morning hard-ons and I was half bent over so that I could hit the bowl. I was also standing back about three feet doing it. I guess from a girl’s standpoint, it was pretty impressive. All I could do was smile at her while trying to keep the flow hitting the water in the bowl instead of going all over the seat and floor. Yes the seat was up at the time but I could still get it pretty wet. Mary Ann just stood there until I had finished and put it away. “Uhm… ‘Hi’, I’m Nick”, was all I was able to say as I looked up at her from my point of view on my back. She really did look like some kind of Amazonian woman; she was a big girl. Not chubby big, but big as in unbelievably tall and extremely well built. A man might happily suffocate in the valley of her cleavage. Her legs and ass were perfectly matched to her torso, and to her huge breasts. She was very easy to look at, and had an exquisite face as well. I washed her lipstick off my lips, and made sure I looked presentable before re-joining everyone. I wait for a few minutes before I see them leave. The two bodyguards follow them back to the big guys chair and Vincent sits opposite. Now's my chance. I walk to the managers office sticking to the shadows. I twist the door knob and push the door open. I creep inside and lock the door behind me. I wanna be out of here in two minutes. I start searching around the office, looking in the cupboards. I go to Vincent's desk and pull the draws open. I find things like smokes, lighters pens. Then I pull open the top drawer and find a small bag. Inside is a powder. It's a faint yellow. I'm not sure what it is but notice about 10 other small bags all with the same powder. I place the bag in my sock incase I get searched. I need to get this back to the lab for testing. ‘I saw you and Rob in the kitchen’ I said evenly. “Pierce!” Haley shouted, covering Paul’s eyes to keep the ten year old from seeing the cruel device encasing Pierce’s dick, “Get the towel and cover up, Pierce!” She yelled, using her head to motion towards Paul. “But we aren’t.” “I’m sorry for your loss,” I joked. “Well, hey, you’re at a party, there are boys everywhere. Look at them!” I gestured to the couple. “That could be you. Just go out and… be bold!” "Oh grow up, will you?" “You like being watched?” “What kind of a proposition?” I asked. Things were actually starting to seem like they could go somewhere from here. She thought I was cute and was not made I was staring at her. “I did it! Donald was hiding when I took my bath and I pretended I didn’t see him. I took of my dresses and panties and got in the tub. I didn’t sit down like I always do when I wash myself, but I stood up so he could see all of me. I showed off my tits and my bush, knowing Donny was looking at me. It was so naughty! " Her name is Kristin, she is probably one of the most popular girls in school, she's into soccer, and she is really athletic" he said, then he said " Every guy wants to be with her, but it never happens, she's not really one of the sluts of the school, i mean she's not shy, but isn't easy." By this time i was really interested in what he was saying, then i asked," how do you know so much about her?" he replied with " oh, that's easy, cause she's my twin sister." at that statement my jaw just dropped, i was totally stunned, i looked a him, then looked at her, then i saw it. they really did look like twins. he got the biggest kick out of it though, i started to apologize and he said " that's okay, i get it all the time, as long as you dont ask me to hook you up with her, it's all good". i was really relieved with that. i assured him that i wouldn't ask, he said cool, then asked for my schedule. i had one other class with him, and two with her. my class with him was right before lunch, and he said i could hang with him at lunch, and he would introduce me to people. 2011-11-25 23:45:14 " Am I the first?" Charlie asked sounding so adorably hopeful in his British accent. I realized my sister was waiting for me to say what I thought of her tits. "Oh my god Sydney! Your breasts are gorgeous!" “Yeah, but he’ll pay me $5.00 an hour from 6:00 to at least 3:00, a minimum of forty hours a week. I could probably keep most, if not all, of my current customers. Oh yeah, I dumped Mr. Kane yesterday.” She says Hi Nathan, how are you today, what brings you here today? "You scared me that I was being attacked!" She cried out. “I think I need some shampoo,” she said leaning over sticking her ass up and bumping it up against my cock. “Wow, I am a lucky girl.” I say. My pussy is wet with excitement at this point, this story was turning both of us on. Not because my first time was so great, but because Wyatt was so much better and I wanted to make his first time so much better than mine. 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2023.03.26 10:31 napfaabsef 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by napfaabsef to zkziqixgvw [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/byjcjjk6o1qa1.gifShe giggled as he touched his face against her shoes and inhaled deeply sending chills down his spine causing him to involuntarily push even deeper into her. This sent her over the edge as she thought if it was humanly possible, she was quite sure she could feel the head of his cock nearing her lungs from how deep it was going. That was it, it was an over load to her brain. Her orgasm was so strong that she suddenly stiffened, began moaning and promptly passed out. When she finally woke, Ethan was still inside her thrusting like his life depended on it. She looked down and saw that she had made a complete mess of him when she came. She looked up at him and at that moment he was licking her shoes all over and licking parts of her feet wherever he could reach and he was now thrusting with force into her hot, over lubricated pussy. Again she felt her body tense up and couldn’t believe it as another orgasm hit her like an ocean tidal wave. She was gasping for air as her orgasm wouldn’t let her go. After what felt like minutes it was beginning to subside while Ethan was having difficulty holding on as her pussy was contracting hectically on his cock. It was squeezing the life out of his cock and it became too much for him to handle. The crazy thing is Chris use to date her sister! I couldn’t believe she was going behind her sisters back. With an excruciating amount of concentration, he kept his words organized and did not allow them to spill out at once. “I figured you must have been starving, I knew I was, so I only got up to grab some food from the lobby for us to eat. When I told you that I didn't bring you there to sleep with you, I meant it. I wanted to see you again; that's why I went back to the bar looking for you.” Simultaneously they both emitted loud noises of shock and terror jolted their whole bodies. Andy’s involuntary action swung his free hand forward and he struck the strawberry cushion with enough force that it flew to one side of the room whilst Alex’s jump saw her throw her phone to the other; her reaction also loosening her towel such that it dropped in one quick motion to the floor. Upon arriving at the fourth floor, Sam burst through the door and ran out into the hallway, scanning the area for which apartment would be Greene’s. 'Where’s James?' she asked with an annoyed tone. "Of course, I would love to find out." She said. Then she looked over at John, and could tell that he was trying to hold back tears of joy as he saw his child on the monitor. Kelsy smiled, knowing that she has giving him the best gift in the world. 1.02 The Amazon village: "What?" Charlie asked. I sighed and rolled away from her onto my back. Why couldn't I just feel one thing for her? Just like her or hate her, or just stop caring altogether? I couldn't hold onto any solid emotion when it came to her. “Josh, I. . .Oh my god!” "Bill, you've got to cum at the same time as your brother," Alice instructed. "Can you do that?" “No ma’am…” I hung my head and sighed. “I mean No Miss Maggie, thank you.” I looked at Penny as she chuckled a bit. I had my hands clasped together in front of me on the table top, mostly to keep myself from fidgeting. Maggie reached out and covered my hands softly with her right hand. The long elegant fingers tapering down to shiny polished nails the same blood red color as Miss Penny’s. He moved down a little in the bed and I felt him slip his hard peter between my thighs. “Is this okay?” he asked. “Take your seat, please.” Miss Mallory said. I let in a gasp. And felt my toes curl. He took away his daughter's hands She was just crying softly. hoarder. She had five huge binders of cards and a couple of “Do you want me to?” I asked evenly. point than was actually deserved. Then one night after dinner, Mom was cleaning the kitchen, Dad was settled in front of the TV and Amy moved close to me and whispered, “My room in ten minutes.” The girl revealed pearl white, straight teeth and deep dimples on either side of her pink lips as she voiced the proposition to Damian. She glanced back at me. "Sorry, I just wanted to take this off. Her hands fumbled behind her back and her bra fell forward. She leaned back into me. Very carefully, I put my arms back around her. My breathing got heavier and deeper and I got goose bumps all over. Kitty said, “I’d like to thank you all for the best sex ever…but please stop…I can’t take anymore. “W’Sup DOOM” shouted kyle as he slid the door closed and threw the latch back down into locked position. She looked back up to see Oliver sitting on the bed and Lily standing next to him. They both looked very surprised. ‘Come on now Ron,’ said Hermione as she took hold of his hand, ‘we have to go and defeat these Death Eaters.’ The Captain of the soccer team was afraid to ask the question, but out it tumbled in a rush nonetheless, "And what do you want?" Having finished building their distress call, they sat side by side on the shore, his arm around her, looking to the ocean. The beginning of a sunset made the sea glimmer, like a golden bridge was built across the water. I went to my photo library to find a good picture to send. I’m not a bad looking guy, but I wanted to send her one that might make her even half as happy as I was with hers. I’m 17 years old, about 5”10 and 160lbs. I work out when I can, but I’m not weight-lifter size. I looked for a picture that would show off my arm muscles, and one where my dark brown hair looked neat instead of its usual mess. My eyes are green, but in no way comparable to Violet’s. I selected a picture, and sent it to her. A few seconds later, she responded in the IM. “This is your last warning, boy! Sit down or I will shoot!” We drove on, with dawn approaching, I pulled over the Hummer, into a warehouse that had made it through bombing. The next morning we awoke, and continued driving. That was until the Hummer broke down. She ran her thumbs back and forth over her sister’s nipples, then she pinched them. Madison had slid her hand back into her panties and was playing with herself. "Come again my love for me." he said as he kiss and sucked on my neck. At a dance at school, both of us were dateless, I for my obvious reasons and him because he just got over his last girl who wanted to use him for popularity or bragging rights. So, since he had to go to get a school reward for the football team, he took me, even though I was planning on lazing around. I took a dress from my moms closet and went and we danced like we usually would at a party at a friends house. But then they put a slow dance on and something from out of a fairy book happened. Happy to oblige, Charlie arched his ass back and slid out until just his head was still inside. Pushing in again, this time was much easier. A layer of lubrication had washed over him, making his cock cut through her like warm butter. He dared not think about how good it felt. “Uhhh there wasn’t one near the register at all, and no one gave me anything today. Maybe ha gave it to my father, I’ll ask him when I go get your food.” “Holy fuck,” Anthony groaned. Hachibi turned around and looked at Zetsu, who was on the ground, he lifted his arms and in the process of waving them down he said, “Twin Blades” both swords came down from the sky spinning making them look like saws. The swords had chakra coming out of them making them as sharp as possible. I met her increased passion with a greater degree of control than I had been able to manage in previous sessions. As I adjusted my speed to meet Cathy's urging, I began to feel the stirring of another climax. I tried to slow its progress by slowing my strokes, but Cathy suddenly wrapped her legs around my waist and began slamming into me as hard as she could force her sex against mine. I exploded into her in a shuddering climax, feeling Cathy's arms and legs squeezing me as if she were trying to pull me all the way inside her. I pressed in as hard as I could while trying to hold her from moving. The pleasure was so exquisite that it was almost painful. Moments later, I collapsed onto her, aware that my sweat was sticking us together like glue. "That's so good," said the principal. "I remember when you first started here, barely a day over 18, you barely knew one end of a cock from the other. Look at you now though." “Well then lets go!” Mindy said as she got up. "About what?" I asked with dumb look on my face. 2011-06-05 23:23:41 With raised eyebrows, I replied back. "Really? I thought you weren't really into that kind of thing." Her mindset was that of an adult. She was brilliant; she conducted herself with prudence. She outsmarted everyone in her classes and was seen as the ‘smart girl who was pretty,’ since those two descriptions do not commonly work in tandem. Kat figured that Matt would pick her up, go back to his house, hang out for a while and he would take Read 129054 times Just a little higher she said, I have a lot of tension here, and she pointed directly at those lovely mounds. I needed no further invitation as I kneaded and grasped and grabbed at her pert ass. It kind of seemed wrong so after 10 minutes I said ok I hope I helped a little. She winked at me and said yeah me too! I looked down the tent in my shorts and left the room to relieve some tension of my own. "What happens now?" Jake asked after a few minutes. Then, after over a hundred attempts, I was Furious. She dove under and looked at my hand to see nothing there. Then she looked up at my other hand to see nothing there either. Finally she looked at my bathing suit and pulled it down and took out her tube top. She then noticed my cock standing out like a flagpole and stared at it as if she was mesmerized. She started rubbing her fingers up and down my cock and playing with my balls. She rubbed her nose and lips against it and she finally had to come up for air. 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