Men's duck mock neck sherpa-lined vest
Free justification in Galatians~D. W. "Red" Baker
2023.04.01 12:41 dwredbaker Free justification in Galatians~D. W. "Red" Baker
Galatians 6:14~"But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world."
"God forbid" ~Yet vain man pays no attention to Pauls' words, and seek to share the glory of man's salvation from sin and condemnation. They glory in two main ways: first, they truly believe man has a part in his salvation from sin and condemnation. Most all teach man has a free will with the ability/power to chose to love and follow God or the love of sin. They reject that man is totally depraved and is at enmity against God., etc. etc.
Secondly, that believe they have the power to saved man that is at enmity against God, by having them to say the sinner's prayer, etc. They reject John's teaching that man is not born of the will of the FLESH, or the will of man or the soul winner as they call them. They truly believe that man IS born of BOTH the will of the FLESH (man's decision to come) and the will of man, or, by preaching, or the soul winner. I have heard men boasting of the millions saved under their ministry.
While I agree men are saved "practically speaking" and converted unto the truth THROUGH preaching, yet only those who were FIRST born of God can hear, see and be converted to a more perfect understanding of the truth. Romans 1:16; 1st Corinthians 1:18-21, etc.
The true Israel of God only glories in the cross of Jesus Christ, were full payment for our sins were paid by the LIFE, DEATH and RESURRECTION of Jesus Christ. FULL payment was secured by Jesus' obedience and faith, period.
" If this is not one of your favorite verses, it should be. If it is, learn to love its every word. Paul defied Judaizers and glorying in circumcision by putting his whole religion in Christ. Paul used the strongest negative to deny association or compromise with the Judaizers’ glory. He has just explained and indicted the false teachers for false motives with circumcision . They gloried in getting Gentiles to follow them in the flesh by having cosmetic surgery.
Paul’s religion did not stoop to such ridiculous things, for his glory was in the cross of Christ. He dumbed down his message and chose one great theme – Christ crucified (I Cor 2:1-5). Save indicates he had nothing else to glory in at all – his glorying was entirely in Christ. Paul had more to glory about as a Jew than anyone (Phil 3:4-7; II Cor 11:18,30; 12:1)! But his great glory was in the death of Jesus Christ, which drove him (II Cor 5:13-16). He counted all things of this world, including O.T. religion, to be only dung (Phil 3:8-11). They mocked him and tried to kill him repeatedly for Christ (Acts 17:32; 20:23; 26:24). Men will glory in anything and everything but Jesus Christ, for He is foolishness to them.
Do you … glory in the religion of Christ? Is this the source and object of your fullest joy?
As you reflect on this question, compare your glorying to God’s definition (Jer 9:23-24).
How can you delight in the Lord, if the things of Christ’s religion bore you (Psalm 37:4)?
Do you have any comprehension of how great the gospel and religion of Jesus Christ are?
You know the only true and living God, and He came to earth 2000 years ago for you!
You know where Jesus Christ is right now with the most glorious names (I Tim 6:16)!
You know the cause of death, source of death, cure for death, and place of no more death!
You know there is an inheritance reserved for you in heaven that includes God Himself!
Do you … glory in the cross of Jesus Christ? Is His death and resurrection a great joy to you?
Do you look forward to the Lord’s Supper for remembering His death until He comes?
Does His death for you constrain you to think of living for Him in payment (II Cor 5:14)?
Are you delighted in the free gift of eternal life obtained by His death alone (Rom 5:19)?
Do you glory in such a gospel of free grace compared to the systems of works of men?
Do you delight remembering His physical, nonphysical, devilish, and spiritual torment?
The cross is not something you wear around your neck or have on the wall of your house.
The use of cross here is a metonym, the place of death being substituted for His death.
Do you … consider the world crucified to you? All that the world can offer is only vanity?
Do you despise and hate all that is in the world – lusts and pride (I Jn 2:15-17; Jas 4:4)?
Do you understand, accept, and delight in serving only one Master (Matt 6:24; Jas 4:8)?
Could you die for Jesus Christ? But better yet, can you live for Him against the world?
If you were to lose everything but still had Jesus Christ and His gospel, is it enough?
Do you … prove that you are crucified to the world? They despise and hate you for Christ?
All that live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution (II Tim 3:12). Are you godly?
Do they recognize you are different by character, conduct, clothing, speech, and actions?
How many enemies do you have for the sake of Christ alone without any faults yourself?
A glorious Saviour died, under glorious circumstances, out of glorious love, after a glorious life of righteousness, after a glorious testimony before Pilate, with glorious mercy to sinners, for the glorious purpose of redeeming His elect, and rose gloriously from the dead to the right hand of God Almighty, where He reigns gloriously, reserving a glorious inheritance for you, and He is coming soon in glory to take you to heaven. What keeps you from glorying?
What will you glory in? Your looks, which are fading every day? Your accomplishments, which are nothing at all? Your wealth, which you cannot take with you? Your thoughts, which are deceitful delusions? Your friends, which cannot help you? Your strength, which is nothing and quickly disappearing? Your wisdom, which is folly in His sight and cannot save you? Your religious devotion, concerning which He will consign many to hell? Your knowledge, which is void of truth. Your future, when you cannot even boast of tomorrow?"....J.R. Crosby
submitted by dwredbaker to OldPaths [link] [comments]
"God forbid" ~Yet vain man pays no attention to Pauls' words, and seek to share the glory of man's salvation from sin and condemnation. They glory in two main ways: first, they truly believe man has a part in his salvation from sin and condemnation. Most all teach man has a free will with the ability/power to chose to love and follow God or the love of sin. They reject that man is totally depraved and is at enmity against God., etc. etc.
Secondly, that believe they have the power to saved man that is at enmity against God, by having them to say the sinner's prayer, etc. They reject John's teaching that man is not born of the will of the FLESH, or the will of man or the soul winner as they call them. They truly believe that man IS born of BOTH the will of the FLESH (man's decision to come) and the will of man, or, by preaching, or the soul winner. I have heard men boasting of the millions saved under their ministry.
While I agree men are saved "practically speaking" and converted unto the truth THROUGH preaching, yet only those who were FIRST born of God can hear, see and be converted to a more perfect understanding of the truth. Romans 1:16; 1st Corinthians 1:18-21, etc.
The true Israel of God only glories in the cross of Jesus Christ, were full payment for our sins were paid by the LIFE, DEATH and RESURRECTION of Jesus Christ. FULL payment was secured by Jesus' obedience and faith, period.
" If this is not one of your favorite verses, it should be. If it is, learn to love its every word. Paul defied Judaizers and glorying in circumcision by putting his whole religion in Christ. Paul used the strongest negative to deny association or compromise with the Judaizers’ glory. He has just explained and indicted the false teachers for false motives with circumcision . They gloried in getting Gentiles to follow them in the flesh by having cosmetic surgery.
Paul’s religion did not stoop to such ridiculous things, for his glory was in the cross of Christ. He dumbed down his message and chose one great theme – Christ crucified (I Cor 2:1-5). Save indicates he had nothing else to glory in at all – his glorying was entirely in Christ. Paul had more to glory about as a Jew than anyone (Phil 3:4-7; II Cor 11:18,30; 12:1)! But his great glory was in the death of Jesus Christ, which drove him (II Cor 5:13-16). He counted all things of this world, including O.T. religion, to be only dung (Phil 3:8-11). They mocked him and tried to kill him repeatedly for Christ (Acts 17:32; 20:23; 26:24). Men will glory in anything and everything but Jesus Christ, for He is foolishness to them.
Do you … glory in the religion of Christ? Is this the source and object of your fullest joy?
As you reflect on this question, compare your glorying to God’s definition (Jer 9:23-24).
How can you delight in the Lord, if the things of Christ’s religion bore you (Psalm 37:4)?
Do you have any comprehension of how great the gospel and religion of Jesus Christ are?
You know the only true and living God, and He came to earth 2000 years ago for you!
You know where Jesus Christ is right now with the most glorious names (I Tim 6:16)!
You know the cause of death, source of death, cure for death, and place of no more death!
You know there is an inheritance reserved for you in heaven that includes God Himself!
Do you … glory in the cross of Jesus Christ? Is His death and resurrection a great joy to you?
Do you look forward to the Lord’s Supper for remembering His death until He comes?
Does His death for you constrain you to think of living for Him in payment (II Cor 5:14)?
Are you delighted in the free gift of eternal life obtained by His death alone (Rom 5:19)?
Do you glory in such a gospel of free grace compared to the systems of works of men?
Do you delight remembering His physical, nonphysical, devilish, and spiritual torment?
The cross is not something you wear around your neck or have on the wall of your house.
The use of cross here is a metonym, the place of death being substituted for His death.
Do you … consider the world crucified to you? All that the world can offer is only vanity?
Do you despise and hate all that is in the world – lusts and pride (I Jn 2:15-17; Jas 4:4)?
Do you understand, accept, and delight in serving only one Master (Matt 6:24; Jas 4:8)?
Could you die for Jesus Christ? But better yet, can you live for Him against the world?
If you were to lose everything but still had Jesus Christ and His gospel, is it enough?
Do you … prove that you are crucified to the world? They despise and hate you for Christ?
All that live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution (II Tim 3:12). Are you godly?
Do they recognize you are different by character, conduct, clothing, speech, and actions?
How many enemies do you have for the sake of Christ alone without any faults yourself?
A glorious Saviour died, under glorious circumstances, out of glorious love, after a glorious life of righteousness, after a glorious testimony before Pilate, with glorious mercy to sinners, for the glorious purpose of redeeming His elect, and rose gloriously from the dead to the right hand of God Almighty, where He reigns gloriously, reserving a glorious inheritance for you, and He is coming soon in glory to take you to heaven. What keeps you from glorying?
What will you glory in? Your looks, which are fading every day? Your accomplishments, which are nothing at all? Your wealth, which you cannot take with you? Your thoughts, which are deceitful delusions? Your friends, which cannot help you? Your strength, which is nothing and quickly disappearing? Your wisdom, which is folly in His sight and cannot save you? Your religious devotion, concerning which He will consign many to hell? Your knowledge, which is void of truth. Your future, when you cannot even boast of tomorrow?"....J.R. Crosby
2023.04.01 06:04 Lothli M&L April Fool's Special: A Cacophony of Mixed Nuts
Lothli woke up bright and early this Saturday, as always. Then, with a yawn, she checked her phone: April 1st.
Was there something important happening today? I don’t quite remember…
Her thoughts were quickly swept away by the mundanity of her morning routine. Pulling on clothes, brushing her teeth, doing her hair…
And so, she was entirely caught off guard when she arrived in the kitchen.
Her twin sister cackled like a madwoman, stirring a gigantic cauldron smelling burnt iron, cotton candy, and writer’s tears.
“Maishul, what exactly have you done?” Lothli sighed, ambling over to the bubbling cauldron.
“This? Oh, just a little April Fool’s prank!” the other twin giggled before pulling out a miniature figurine of a strange humanoid insect. With a snap of her fingers, the statuette grew to full size, glancing around warily.
“Oh goodness! What’s going on here?” the moth woman exclaimed, seeming more confused than frightened. “What kind of insect are you? I’ve never seen anyone with just four limbs like you two!”
Lothli turned to Maishul, a frown on her face. “Is this Minerva? Did you STEAL her? We’re going to get banned, you know.”
The other twin continued cackling, heedless of Lothli’s wrath. “No, no, I got permission! Look!”
Indeed, the paper Maishul pulled out did have the signatures of one, two… how many authors?!
“Maishul, what the heck have you done?” Lothli huffed. “This is— how do we—”
“Excuse me, but I believe I may be lost?” Minerva asked, her wings fluttering nervously. “While I would love to ask the two of you some questions, I need to return to my lab, if you could point me in the right direction?”
“Oh, I apologize, Dr. Minerva. You’re currently experiencing a dream. Please do forget about this,” Lothli sighed before snapping her fingers and reverting the insectoid woman to her figurine form.
“How exactly are we going to explain this to Polaris?” Lothli deadpanned with her gaze on her happy-go-lucky sibling.
“Oh, I have a good ‘ol industrial barrel of Remove-Yo-Memory. I’m sure it’ll turn out fine!” Maishul grinned back. “Look, look! Let me show you what wonderful scenes I’ve cooked up for everyone!”
Scene One: Art’s Very Bad, No Good Day
I was not having a good day. First, I was thrown into yet another random plane of existence. Dimension hopping was something I wanted to experience no more than one time in my life; thank you very much. And yet, here I was. In yet another random plane of existence with absolutely no say.
“Iklem.”
Second all, I found myself surrounded by these strange creatures. Four legs, shimmering black pelt, bizarre snake-like neck, flat head, creepy singular eye, and that weirdly human voice. Definitely not a fan.
“Iklem.”
The three Iklems crept—
Ahem. The plural of Iklem is Iklemli, Art.
And thirdly, that obnoxious voice ringing out in my head. Who was that? Why were they in my head? And why could they read my thoughts?
Fine. The three Iklemli crept closer and closer, predatory intent clear. I backed away slowly before my phone suddenly burst out with the cheery tune of Weird Al singing, “Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)...”
“I’m in the mother of all situations here, Demoness, and you choose a freaking parody song? Can you at least tell me what the hell is happening here?” I snarled into my phone’s mic, watching the approaching monsters closely.
“M’dear, I hate to say it, but I have no clue what’s happening.” The slight strain in the Demoness’s usually sultry voice gave me pause. That Demoness? Confused? I really was in some deep shit, wasn’t I?
“Could you at least tell me what an Iklem is?” I said, imitating those creatures as best I could.
“My love, how do I explain this? As best as I could tell, at least five foreign dimensions have been forced together into one singular mess. And whoever did it had no grace or finesse at all.”
Tell the Demoness that she has no grace or finesse, either! Hmph!
Rolling my eyes, I communicated the feelings of my new head neighbor to the Demoness.
“Well, dear, tell your new friend that they should consider undoing this fiasco,” the Demoness replied with a sigh. “Whatever the case is, those Iklemli you mentioned are from one of those other dimensions. I can’t tell you a thing about them.”
With that good news, I turned back to the advancing beasts. This was going to be a fun one…
“Maishul, you can’t just break the fourth wall and shove your thoughts into the scene,” Lothli huffed, shaking her head.
“Pfffft!” Maishul blew a raspberry before turning back to her abomination of a cauldron.
“Also, you can’t just swap to first-person narration. We’re in third-person narration.”
“Well, Matt writes in first-person. And I respect our fellow author’s intent; thank you very much!”
Lothli raised an eyebrow in response before pointing to the bubbling cauldron of doom. “You call THAT respecting our fellow authors’ intents?”
“They gave permission!” Maishul pouted before turning back to her inglorious creation. “And you won’t complain once you see my next glorious scene!”
Scene Two: Sloth Squared
Pride’s scowl only grew deeper as he dragged his erstwhile companion along. The swampland around them had warped into a blooming forest, with trees looming large overhead. The various fully intact buildings were most concerning, indicating that the pair had passed into a rift.
“Sloth, GET UP!” he hissed, shaking the lazy layabout.
“Huh? Wuzzit? I’m sleepin…” Sloth snored, already back asleep.
“We’ve got a MAJOR problem here. Pretty sure a rift opened around us, so stay on guard!”
Sloth blearily stumbled to his feet before glancing wide-eyed at his surroundings.
“Holy cow, you’re right! I didn’t even notice. But, man, Pride, I’m so tired… I…” Sloth stumbled a bit further before faceplanting directly into a bed of flowers.
“Dammit, Sloth. This is ridiculous, even for your standards.” Pride leaned down to pick Sloth back up, but something strange was afoot. As soon as he leaned down, an overwhelming surge of exhaustion passed through him as well, and he collapsed on top of his companion.
“Dude, you’re sleeping right on top of a good patch. Can you two move?” A voice lazily drifted into Pride’s mind before he rocketed up ramrod straight.
“Hwa— what!? Oh. A rifter.” Pride composed himself as he stared down at the man who awoke him. About five foot six, with short white hair and red eyes.
“Uh, I’m not a rifter or whatever you just called me. I’m Clear, prince of Sloth. And you?” Clear tilted his head.
“Prince… of me? Ehehe, there’s no prince of me…” Sloth murmured in his sleep.
“Typical rifter, spewing nonsense. Come on, you lazy bum. We’re gonna hide before this gets violent.” Pride turned to drag Sloth away but found his legs unwilling to move.
“Hey, man. C’mon now. You haven’t noticed you’re in a dream yet?” Clear said, his hand extended. “Let’s just talk, alright?”
Pride struggled for a few more moments, then back at Clear. “Alright, alright, never seen a rifter do that before. Calm down, yeah? I’ll chat until this rift collapses.”
“So please, introduce yourself properly this time,” Clear responded, freeing Pride with a flick of his hand.
“Right. I’m Pride, that’s Sloth.” Pride pointed at himself, then at his companion. “Can we go?” “No. Please explain what you are doing here and those wings on your back.” Clear yawned. “Also, don’t use our nation’s name as a moniker. It’s probably disrespectful… or something. Eh, we don’t actually care that much.”
“Huh? We’re here because your stupid rift pulled us in,” Pride hissed. “And these wings? We were born with ’em. No story here. Also, pretty sure we were the ones who had those names first.”
“Eh, the kingdom of Pride wouldn’t be very happy to hear about that,” Clear responded. “But whatever, man. Things have been rather chill ever since a random blob named Sparky fell on top of the Demon King and ate him or whatever. So enjoy the nap, I guess. Mind if I join in?”
Pride rolled his eyes before scooting over to allow Clear access to the flowers. Before long, Sloth and Clear were snuggled up together, much to the chagrin of Pride.
“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
“Aren’t they just the cutest?!” Maishul exclaimed. “We should make that our newest OTP. I bet Haru would approve.”
“Please don’t ship characters across two different SerSuns,” Lothli replied with a shake of her head. “Also what was that about Sparky eating the Demon King—”
“OKAYNEXTSCENE!!”
Scene Three: Machines, Demons, and The World Tree
There was a rather strange rash of oddly dressed folk in Lugavya lately. Or rather, just odd folk in general.
Rumors flew of a human with bird wings who passed over the town, carried through hurried whispers between the residents. A strange man with fierce red eyes insisting on making ‘deals,’ much to the annoyance of passersby trying to get through their day.
Lena and Veska had met to investigate, unable to keep themselves still while such strange events abounded. No sooner had the two exchanged greetings did two strange men approach, flagrantly discarding any sensibilities on their right to free speech.
“Hello!” the younger one called out before getting his head gently bonked by the older.
“W-what was it? Oh! The greeting we use should have been ‘well met,’ right?” the teenage boy puzzled himself, rubbing his head.
“No. Firstly, as foreign visitors, we do not use that greeting. Secondly, we do not greet them. They greet us,” the older whispered, turning his eyes to Lena and Veska. It seemed at least one of them remembered their manners.
“Peace, strangers. We will not begrudge you for your transgressions. Tell me, what business have you with us?” Lena began.
“We are looking for directions. We have lost our way. Please, would you tell us our current location? Latitude and longitude are preferred, but any notable landmarks will do.” The older man bowed slightly, with the younger following shortly after.
Latitude? Longitude? These words were unfamiliar to Lena and Veska.
“This is Lugavya. Home to Alvedos, the World Tree?” Veska explained, an eyebrow raised. Were these folks raised under a rock or something?
The two men conversed among themselves, their frowns deepening.
“Apologies, but I am unaware of Lugavya. Could you perhaps point us in the direction of the United States?” the older asked, tilting his head slightly.
“Oh, and if you know of any demons, could you put in a word for me? I can’t figure out the ritual to get home without one of them…” the younger added.
The United States? Demons? More unfamiliar terms. Lena and Veska knew these newcomers were oddballs, but this was a bit much.
“I’m sorry—really! But we simply don’t have the knowledge to help the two of you. Perhaps you could head to the Foresters? I’ll give you their location.” Lena rattled off directions to the nearby Foresters’ hall.
“Thank you very much.” The older man stalked off after a stiff bow, and the younger man quickly followed.
“Sticks and stones, what is the world coming to?”
“Was that Megan’s SerSun? All that intricately balanced worldbuilding, and you just shoved random crap in.” Lothli barely held back a sigh. “Also, you didn’t even introduce those two characters. How are our readers supposed to know who they are?”
“This is left as an exercise to the reader,” Maishul tittered into the camera before returning to the glorious mess in her cauldron.
“Next scene!”
Scene Four: The One With No Chill
There wasn’t much that could faze a Huntress.
It was often said that their wills were unshakable. Nothing could cause them to stop them from single-mindedly accomplishing their goal. And yet, Olivia stood dead in her tracks, staring at the abomination across the Dam square.
“I AM OLIVIA. DARK HUNTRESS. SMASHER OF SQUEAKERS. AND THE ONE WITH NO CHILL,” the awful creature that vaguely resembled Olivia boomed.
“That young lass a friend of yours?” Barlow remarked, barely holding back a chuckle.
“Nope.” Olivia chucked one of her daggers at the offending sight, but she deflected the blade with a ripple of its musculature.
“You are weak. You have no strength. Witness me, false Olivia.” The muscle monster took up a ridiculous pose, her muscles overtly flexing.
“I will destroy you. And after that, I will destroy your creator. And I’ll salt your entire bloodline, while I’m at it,” Olivia snarled.
“I would like to see you try, false Olivia. Last time, I was overcome by the power of the Deus Ex Machina. But this time, I will not be struck down.” The monster took a step forward, the cobblestones cracking under her feet.
Olivia flinched. A Huntress does not feel fear. A Huntress does not back down. Yet… in the face of this horrible being… Her mind recalled the near-death experience she had with the Beast. Did she really want to face that again?
She shook her head, clearing it. No. She would finish this. Olivia raced at the mocking facsimile of herself, her onyx daggers at the ready. As she drew closer, she summoned every ounce of strength and struck.
As Olivia flew through the air, the world seemed to slow down.
Ah… this feels… familiar…
“‘Admittedly, Huntress, you are quite the entertainer—”
“No!” Lothli slapped the figurines out of Maishul’s hands, sinking them into the dreadful mire of the cauldron below. “You can’t reuse that line for the third time!”
“But you used it, Lothli. That’s hypocritical!” Maishul harrumphed.
“Yes, because it was the first time we used it. You can’t just reuse jokes like that!” Lothli glared. “And don’t think I forgot about that comment Clear made about Sparky. What. Exactly. Did you do?”
“Uhm, uhh…” Maishul stuttered. “W-Well, I maybe kinda spilled some my Story-Breaking-Plot-Devices into the cauldron on accident…”
“Your WHATS?!” Lothli stared at her twin in disbelief.
“Uhh, it wasn’t a big deal or anything. Just, uh... Scarlet, the Demon King, Sparky, Wan, Pre-Geas Dread Lord Ardus, the plague from, the Deus Ex Machina, the Beast, and the entirety of the United States’ arsenal of nuclear weaponry.”
Lothli shook her head with a sigh. “I’m pretty sure you caused mass human extinction at least three times over.”
“Well! No time to worry about it! Next scene!”
Scene Five: Bea and Ophelia Discover The Wonders of Nuclear Physics
Bea and Ophelia stared at the booklet that had just materialized before them. “Maishul’s Simple Guide to Stealing and Utilizing the Entirety of the United States’ Arsenal of Nuclear Weaponry: For Dummies!” The booklet was decorated with garish stickers of rainbows and glitter, along with cartoonish mushroom clouds.
With a glance at Ophelia, Bea picked up the book. Immediately, her mind was flooded with images and knowledge. Where exactly every nuclear silo in the United States was located. The launch codes and how to bypass the two-key rule. The birth and loving families of each and every nuclear warhead…?
“Bea? Dear? Are you alright?” Ophelia shook Bea gently, concerned. Bea wordlessly handed over the booklet and watched the same information flow through her. The two shared a meaningful glance before turning the manual over. A bright red button sat there, glowing ominously amongst the childish stickers and drawings of shocked faces.
“This is absolutely too dangerous to be left just lying around,” Bea murmured, staring at the booklet intently. Maybe it was a prank some lesser fae put together to induce some concerning but ultimately harmless illusions. But deep down, the two knew this was far more sinister than a simple prank. Plus, there was no fae named “Maishul” that either of them knew of.
“I’m going to have to seal this thing away with the strongest magic I have,” Ophelia declared. With a wave of her hand, ethereal chains weaved around the book. Magical seals whirled through the air, all concentrated on the offending manual. The horrors of nuclear annihilation have been contained with a final clap of her hands.
For around five seconds. Immediately after the ritual was complete, as if to spite Ophelia’s work, a glowing sword descended from the heavens, slicing through the glowing chains and seals like butter. The two barely managed to glimpse the name written on the side: “The Deus Ex Machina,” before the blade landed squarely on the big red button with a satisfying click!
“Shit.”
“So what exactly were you saying about ‘not worrying about it’?” Lothli shook her head in dismay. “How are we going to explain this mess to their poor, poor writers? What are we going to say to Bay?”
“It’ll be fine! I’m not breaking any of the rules on shortstories, which means I totally can’t be banned!” Maishul quipped cheerily.
“That is 100% not how it works.” Lothli crossed her arms. “Don’t drag me down with you.”
“I dunno! You’ll bail me out, right?” Maishul shrugged before returning to her appalling project. “Next scene!”
Scene Six: Sanguia Loses a Fight
These were the end times. The world felt… sideways. The government was in shambles. A plague that turned people into fine, yellow dust had apparently appeared, sweeping the continent from east to west. Yet, there was nothing I could do. Right in front of me, I had my own foes to contend with on the roof of Holos Lucidium.
On my right was a shapeless mass, writhing and transforming, throwing vicious barbs my way. It never introduced itself, but I knew its name from within myself: the Beast.
On my left was a much more innocent figure, at least on the surface. He had slicked-back black hair, brown eyes simmering with self-assured pride, and an easy smirk. And to cap it off, he introduced himself promptly and with great gusto; he was Dread Lord Ardus.
I could attempt to flee, but what purpose would that serve? Even if I got away, which my gut told me was highly unlikely, I would be abandoning my guild to die to these two monsters. So no. I stood my ground here.
“Sanguia. Member of Holos Lucidium.” I balanced my stance between my two flanks, watching both. With a smirk from Ardus and a ripple from the Beast, the fight began.
I quickly discarded the idea of even fighting the rippling mass on my right. It had no blood I could control, and impacting it with my blade would make me stuck. But the Dread Lord was no slouch, either.
As I rushed at Ardus, a tingle in my spine screamed at me to duck. I tucked into a combat roll as a great blast of flame roared right where I used to be.
“Fiesty, aren’t you? Well, that’s what makes it fun,” the Dread Lord growled, licking his lips.
I had no time to respond as a raging, shimmering bull attempted to ram its gleaming horns directly through me. I sprung off the ground, landing just behind the writhing bull. There was no time to go on the offensive; it took all I could to stay alive.
“Stop struggling, Interloper,” the Beast snarled. “I have plans I have to attend to. Plans that do not involve you.”
I kept the undulating mass between myself and my second opponent. My only hope was to promote crossfire. The dagger I held in my right hand felt woefully inadequate for this task.
“You heard the fella. I’ll end this, here and now.” Ardus thrust his hand straight up into the air as if grasping something far above him.
“Dread Lord. May I take this as a sign of betrayal?” The Beast rumbled, a dangerous edge to its voice.
“Nah, I never said I was working with you. You’re too… icky for my tastes.” The Dread Lord tapped his chin thoughtfully. “It’s a good thing you’ll be obliterated in an instant. Ta ta!”
I looked up with a heavy heart, knowing how outclassed I was. There was barely time to say goodbye before a massive ball of light enveloped me in its all-consuming shine. The last thing I managed to think was:
That was an utterly unfair fight.
“Well, the protagonist of our SerSun just died. What now?” Lothli looked at the cauldron in dismay.
“Hey, it’s not so bad! Scarlet is still alive, right?” Maishul dug around in the cauldron before pulling out yet another distended scene. “Look! Here she is!”
“What… is that?” Lothli looked at the scene with equal parts awe and disgust.
“Oh! Well, I really liked Fye’s SerSun, so I made my own! Isn’t it great?”
“Maishul, I think you missed the entire point of his SerSun. Where’s the inter-character drama? Where’s the mystery? Where’s the actual HISTORY?” Lothli poked the off-kilter scene with distaste. “This version of the story is just <Murder.>.”
“Well too bad, dear ‘ol sis! Here! We! Go!”
Scene Seven: Murder Without the History
Hi, I’m Benedict Lushon, Ben for short. Somehow, I think I just unlocked the secret to teleportation. I stand in the middle of the mansion’s dining room, feeling my stomach turn violently. One moment, I was chained in front of a cackling Kyle, and the next thing I know, we’re back in this blasted room. I crane my head, checking who else is here.
Teddy, check. His monocle and top hat are still crooked as he looks around the room, just as confused as I.
Cornell, check. Unfortunately, he still seems to be out cold.
Kyle, check. Wait—
I stride up to Kyle and grab onto his lapels. “What exactly have you done?” I say, shaking him back and forth.
Unfortunately, he seems even more confused by the current events than I am, judging by the bulging eyes and frothing at the mouth.
“W-What exactly happened here!? We were just— and then—” my former coworker manages to sputter out before a booming feminine voice rings out from the walls.
“Heya! What’s up, characters! It’s me, ya girl Maishul, back at it again with another fun murdery twist!” The cheery voice that booms out from the walls contrasts with all the horrors we’ve seen thus far. Also, who talks like this? Did we get kidnapped by one of those Instagram influencers? Ugh, I hate those kinds of people.
“Who are you?! What have you done?!” Kyle screams, his voice cracking. “I have waited YEARS to take my revenge on these fools, and you—”
“Oh. You.” The voice seems displeased at the interruption. “Sorry, I didn’t think your Tuffy plotline was interesting, so I retconned it!”
Now, that was the mark of a bad writer. As a future multi-bestselling author, I know that one of the most sinful things a writer can do is randomly retcon the story. I’m confident this random influencer girl will never go anywhere in her writing career.
“YOU! We were known as the Tufforo family, and we—” Kyle rages before being cut off by the voice again.
“Sorry, don’t care.” A piece of duct tape manifests itself directly onto Kyle’s mouth. I would find it funny if it didn’t demonstrate how supernatural this influencer’s power seems.
“Anyways! Here’s the rules. I’m not really good at that being cryptic thing, so it’ll be easy!” the voice announces with glee. “Here’s my super special sparkly OC, do not steal, known as Scarlet, Scourge of the Americas. She’ll try and chase you down! She wins when you’re all dead. You all win when, I don’t know, she dies of old age or something. You can try to kill her; it won’t work!”
‘Super special sparkly OC, do not steal?’ So, what, did I find myself in some hellish parody of Earth? That must be it. This must all be a very terrible dream. I sincerely hope that none of my readers would ever consider making fanfiction like this of my stories.
“By jove, those rules seem downright unfair!” Teddy finally seems to have found his voice. “Please, good madam, could you let us go? We have already suffered at the hands of that accursed man—”
“Lalala, can’t hear you!” the girl’s voice sang out. “Here she comes! Give it up for… Scarlet!”
A hidden panel drops a… rather regular-looking young woman onto the floor. Why, if I were in charge, I would have ensured that my villain would have a spectacular appearance. Someone as fascinating and spellbinding as Jack the Ripper—
Scarlet dashes at Kyle and [REDACTED]
… … Technical Difficulties
“MAISHUL! What the hell was that?! Is that how you talk when I’m not around? And what the hell was that last section?” Lothli furiously slapped the tortured scene back into the accursed project bubbling menacingly below.
“Well, Scarlet’s kinda messy, so I tried to cover it up,” Maishul pouted. “Also, I was just trying to liven up the scene a bit! Kyle’s so BORING. He speaks in RIDDLES and they make my brain HURT.”
“That’s because you don’t have a single brain cell in that head of yours,” Lothli huffed. “Don’t make such sweeping changes to people’s stories!”
“Well… dear sis, could I trouble you for a favor, since I’m so head empty ‘n all?” Maishul smiled her widest, most brilliant smile.
“What.” The other twin glared back, unimpressed.
“Well, if you don’t want the two of us to get banned, can you help me separate these stories back out? Please?” With a fluttering of her eyelashes and a winsome wink, this would undoubtedly win her sister to her side—
“Deal with it yourself. I’m going to hand out apologies.” Lothli had no sympathy for her twin’s plight.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Maishul cried. For now, she was burdened with her least favorite task; actual work.
And thus, this tale comes to a close. Nevertheless, its name will ring true throughout the land as the legendary fable known only as “In the Shadow of Machines, Scarlet, and the In Between Geas and the Beginning of the Demon Murder History: Dissonance, also How Did We Get Here?”
Thank you very much for your time. And apologies for my sister.
Lothli, signing off.
Credits: Maishul, Lothli, FTF!Olivia, and the Deus Ex Machina, from u/Lothli’s FTF Serial,
Special thanks to u/OldBayJ, which this fantastic feature would be impossible without.
submitted by Lothli to EnigmaOfMaishulLothli [link] [comments]
Was there something important happening today? I don’t quite remember…
Her thoughts were quickly swept away by the mundanity of her morning routine. Pulling on clothes, brushing her teeth, doing her hair…
And so, she was entirely caught off guard when she arrived in the kitchen.
Her twin sister cackled like a madwoman, stirring a gigantic cauldron smelling burnt iron, cotton candy, and writer’s tears.
“Maishul, what exactly have you done?” Lothli sighed, ambling over to the bubbling cauldron.
“This? Oh, just a little April Fool’s prank!” the other twin giggled before pulling out a miniature figurine of a strange humanoid insect. With a snap of her fingers, the statuette grew to full size, glancing around warily.
“Oh goodness! What’s going on here?” the moth woman exclaimed, seeming more confused than frightened. “What kind of insect are you? I’ve never seen anyone with just four limbs like you two!”
Lothli turned to Maishul, a frown on her face. “Is this Minerva? Did you STEAL her? We’re going to get banned, you know.”
The other twin continued cackling, heedless of Lothli’s wrath. “No, no, I got permission! Look!”
Indeed, the paper Maishul pulled out did have the signatures of one, two… how many authors?!
“Maishul, what the heck have you done?” Lothli huffed. “This is— how do we—”
“Excuse me, but I believe I may be lost?” Minerva asked, her wings fluttering nervously. “While I would love to ask the two of you some questions, I need to return to my lab, if you could point me in the right direction?”
“Oh, I apologize, Dr. Minerva. You’re currently experiencing a dream. Please do forget about this,” Lothli sighed before snapping her fingers and reverting the insectoid woman to her figurine form.
“How exactly are we going to explain this to Polaris?” Lothli deadpanned with her gaze on her happy-go-lucky sibling.
“Oh, I have a good ‘ol industrial barrel of Remove-Yo-Memory. I’m sure it’ll turn out fine!” Maishul grinned back. “Look, look! Let me show you what wonderful scenes I’ve cooked up for everyone!”
I was not having a good day. First, I was thrown into yet another random plane of existence. Dimension hopping was something I wanted to experience no more than one time in my life; thank you very much. And yet, here I was. In yet another random plane of existence with absolutely no say.
“Iklem.”
Second all, I found myself surrounded by these strange creatures. Four legs, shimmering black pelt, bizarre snake-like neck, flat head, creepy singular eye, and that weirdly human voice. Definitely not a fan.
“Iklem.”
The three Iklems crept—
Ahem. The plural of Iklem is Iklemli, Art.
And thirdly, that obnoxious voice ringing out in my head. Who was that? Why were they in my head? And why could they read my thoughts?
Fine. The three Iklemli crept closer and closer, predatory intent clear. I backed away slowly before my phone suddenly burst out with the cheery tune of Weird Al singing, “Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)...”
“I’m in the mother of all situations here, Demoness, and you choose a freaking parody song? Can you at least tell me what the hell is happening here?” I snarled into my phone’s mic, watching the approaching monsters closely.
“M’dear, I hate to say it, but I have no clue what’s happening.” The slight strain in the Demoness’s usually sultry voice gave me pause. That Demoness? Confused? I really was in some deep shit, wasn’t I?
“Could you at least tell me what an Iklem is?” I said, imitating those creatures as best I could.
“My love, how do I explain this? As best as I could tell, at least five foreign dimensions have been forced together into one singular mess. And whoever did it had no grace or finesse at all.”
Tell the Demoness that she has no grace or finesse, either! Hmph!
Rolling my eyes, I communicated the feelings of my new head neighbor to the Demoness.
“Well, dear, tell your new friend that they should consider undoing this fiasco,” the Demoness replied with a sigh. “Whatever the case is, those Iklemli you mentioned are from one of those other dimensions. I can’t tell you a thing about them.”
With that good news, I turned back to the advancing beasts. This was going to be a fun one…
“Pfffft!” Maishul blew a raspberry before turning back to her abomination of a cauldron.
“Also, you can’t just swap to first-person narration. We’re in third-person narration.”
“Well, Matt writes in first-person. And I respect our fellow author’s intent; thank you very much!”
Lothli raised an eyebrow in response before pointing to the bubbling cauldron of doom. “You call THAT respecting our fellow authors’ intents?”
“They gave permission!” Maishul pouted before turning back to her inglorious creation. “And you won’t complain once you see my next glorious scene!”
Pride’s scowl only grew deeper as he dragged his erstwhile companion along. The swampland around them had warped into a blooming forest, with trees looming large overhead. The various fully intact buildings were most concerning, indicating that the pair had passed into a rift.
“Sloth, GET UP!” he hissed, shaking the lazy layabout.
“Huh? Wuzzit? I’m sleepin…” Sloth snored, already back asleep.
“We’ve got a MAJOR problem here. Pretty sure a rift opened around us, so stay on guard!”
Sloth blearily stumbled to his feet before glancing wide-eyed at his surroundings.
“Holy cow, you’re right! I didn’t even notice. But, man, Pride, I’m so tired… I…” Sloth stumbled a bit further before faceplanting directly into a bed of flowers.
“Dammit, Sloth. This is ridiculous, even for your standards.” Pride leaned down to pick Sloth back up, but something strange was afoot. As soon as he leaned down, an overwhelming surge of exhaustion passed through him as well, and he collapsed on top of his companion.
“Hwa— what!? Oh. A rifter.” Pride composed himself as he stared down at the man who awoke him. About five foot six, with short white hair and red eyes.
“Uh, I’m not a rifter or whatever you just called me. I’m Clear, prince of Sloth. And you?” Clear tilted his head.
“Prince… of me? Ehehe, there’s no prince of me…” Sloth murmured in his sleep.
“Typical rifter, spewing nonsense. Come on, you lazy bum. We’re gonna hide before this gets violent.” Pride turned to drag Sloth away but found his legs unwilling to move.
“Hey, man. C’mon now. You haven’t noticed you’re in a dream yet?” Clear said, his hand extended. “Let’s just talk, alright?”
Pride struggled for a few more moments, then back at Clear. “Alright, alright, never seen a rifter do that before. Calm down, yeah? I’ll chat until this rift collapses.”
“So please, introduce yourself properly this time,” Clear responded, freeing Pride with a flick of his hand.
“Right. I’m Pride, that’s Sloth.” Pride pointed at himself, then at his companion. “Can we go?” “No. Please explain what you are doing here and those wings on your back.” Clear yawned. “Also, don’t use our nation’s name as a moniker. It’s probably disrespectful… or something. Eh, we don’t actually care that much.”
“Huh? We’re here because your stupid rift pulled us in,” Pride hissed. “And these wings? We were born with ’em. No story here. Also, pretty sure we were the ones who had those names first.”
“Eh, the kingdom of Pride wouldn’t be very happy to hear about that,” Clear responded. “But whatever, man. Things have been rather chill ever since a random blob named Sparky fell on top of the Demon King and ate him or whatever. So enjoy the nap, I guess. Mind if I join in?”
Pride rolled his eyes before scooting over to allow Clear access to the flowers. Before long, Sloth and Clear were snuggled up together, much to the chagrin of Pride.
“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
“Please don’t ship characters across two different SerSuns,” Lothli replied with a shake of her head. “Also what was that about Sparky eating the Demon King—”
“OKAYNEXTSCENE!!”
There was a rather strange rash of oddly dressed folk in Lugavya lately. Or rather, just odd folk in general.
Rumors flew of a human with bird wings who passed over the town, carried through hurried whispers between the residents. A strange man with fierce red eyes insisting on making ‘deals,’ much to the annoyance of passersby trying to get through their day.
Lena and Veska had met to investigate, unable to keep themselves still while such strange events abounded. No sooner had the two exchanged greetings did two strange men approach, flagrantly discarding any sensibilities on their right to free speech.
“Hello!” the younger one called out before getting his head gently bonked by the older.
“W-what was it? Oh! The greeting we use should have been ‘well met,’ right?” the teenage boy puzzled himself, rubbing his head.
“No. Firstly, as foreign visitors, we do not use that greeting. Secondly, we do not greet them. They greet us,” the older whispered, turning his eyes to Lena and Veska. It seemed at least one of them remembered their manners.
“Peace, strangers. We will not begrudge you for your transgressions. Tell me, what business have you with us?” Lena began.
“We are looking for directions. We have lost our way. Please, would you tell us our current location? Latitude and longitude are preferred, but any notable landmarks will do.” The older man bowed slightly, with the younger following shortly after.
Latitude? Longitude? These words were unfamiliar to Lena and Veska.
“This is Lugavya. Home to Alvedos, the World Tree?” Veska explained, an eyebrow raised. Were these folks raised under a rock or something?
The two men conversed among themselves, their frowns deepening.
“Apologies, but I am unaware of Lugavya. Could you perhaps point us in the direction of the United States?” the older asked, tilting his head slightly.
“Oh, and if you know of any demons, could you put in a word for me? I can’t figure out the ritual to get home without one of them…” the younger added.
The United States? Demons? More unfamiliar terms. Lena and Veska knew these newcomers were oddballs, but this was a bit much.
“I’m sorry—really! But we simply don’t have the knowledge to help the two of you. Perhaps you could head to the Foresters? I’ll give you their location.” Lena rattled off directions to the nearby Foresters’ hall.
“Thank you very much.” The older man stalked off after a stiff bow, and the younger man quickly followed.
“Sticks and stones, what is the world coming to?”
“This is left as an exercise to the reader,” Maishul tittered into the camera before returning to the glorious mess in her cauldron.
“Next scene!”
There wasn’t much that could faze a Huntress.
It was often said that their wills were unshakable. Nothing could cause them to stop them from single-mindedly accomplishing their goal. And yet, Olivia stood dead in her tracks, staring at the abomination across the Dam square.
“I AM OLIVIA. DARK HUNTRESS. SMASHER OF SQUEAKERS. AND THE ONE WITH NO CHILL,” the awful creature that vaguely resembled Olivia boomed.
“That young lass a friend of yours?” Barlow remarked, barely holding back a chuckle.
“Nope.” Olivia chucked one of her daggers at the offending sight, but she deflected the blade with a ripple of its musculature.
“You are weak. You have no strength. Witness me, false Olivia.” The muscle monster took up a ridiculous pose, her muscles overtly flexing.
“I will destroy you. And after that, I will destroy your creator. And I’ll salt your entire bloodline, while I’m at it,” Olivia snarled.
“I would like to see you try, false Olivia. Last time, I was overcome by the power of the Deus Ex Machina. But this time, I will not be struck down.” The monster took a step forward, the cobblestones cracking under her feet.
Olivia flinched. A Huntress does not feel fear. A Huntress does not back down. Yet… in the face of this horrible being… Her mind recalled the near-death experience she had with the Beast. Did she really want to face that again?
She shook her head, clearing it. No. She would finish this. Olivia raced at the mocking facsimile of herself, her onyx daggers at the ready. As she drew closer, she summoned every ounce of strength and struck.
As Olivia flew through the air, the world seemed to slow down.
Ah… this feels… familiar…
“‘Admittedly, Huntress, you are quite the entertainer—”
“But you used it, Lothli. That’s hypocritical!” Maishul harrumphed.
“Yes, because it was the first time we used it. You can’t just reuse jokes like that!” Lothli glared. “And don’t think I forgot about that comment Clear made about Sparky. What. Exactly. Did you do?”
“Uhm, uhh…” Maishul stuttered. “W-Well, I maybe kinda spilled some my Story-Breaking-Plot-Devices into the cauldron on accident…”
“Your WHATS?!” Lothli stared at her twin in disbelief.
“Uhh, it wasn’t a big deal or anything. Just, uh... Scarlet, the Demon King, Sparky, Wan, Pre-Geas Dread Lord Ardus, the plague from
Lothli shook her head with a sigh. “I’m pretty sure you caused mass human extinction at least three times over.”
“Well! No time to worry about it! Next scene!”
Bea and Ophelia stared at the booklet that had just materialized before them. “Maishul’s Simple Guide to Stealing and Utilizing the Entirety of the United States’ Arsenal of Nuclear Weaponry: For Dummies!” The booklet was decorated with garish stickers of rainbows and glitter, along with cartoonish mushroom clouds.
With a glance at Ophelia, Bea picked up the book. Immediately, her mind was flooded with images and knowledge. Where exactly every nuclear silo in the United States was located. The launch codes and how to bypass the two-key rule. The birth and loving families of each and every nuclear warhead…?
“Bea? Dear? Are you alright?” Ophelia shook Bea gently, concerned. Bea wordlessly handed over the booklet and watched the same information flow through her. The two shared a meaningful glance before turning the manual over. A bright red button sat there, glowing ominously amongst the childish stickers and drawings of shocked faces.
“This is absolutely too dangerous to be left just lying around,” Bea murmured, staring at the booklet intently. Maybe it was a prank some lesser fae put together to induce some concerning but ultimately harmless illusions. But deep down, the two knew this was far more sinister than a simple prank. Plus, there was no fae named “Maishul” that either of them knew of.
“I’m going to have to seal this thing away with the strongest magic I have,” Ophelia declared. With a wave of her hand, ethereal chains weaved around the book. Magical seals whirled through the air, all concentrated on the offending manual. The horrors of nuclear annihilation have been contained with a final clap of her hands.
For around five seconds. Immediately after the ritual was complete, as if to spite Ophelia’s work, a glowing sword descended from the heavens, slicing through the glowing chains and seals like butter. The two barely managed to glimpse the name written on the side: “The Deus Ex Machina,” before the blade landed squarely on the big red button with a satisfying click!
“Shit.”
“It’ll be fine! I’m not breaking any of the rules on shortstories, which means I totally can’t be banned!” Maishul quipped cheerily.
“That is 100% not how it works.” Lothli crossed her arms. “Don’t drag me down with you.”
“I dunno! You’ll bail me out, right?” Maishul shrugged before returning to her appalling project. “Next scene!”
These were the end times. The world felt… sideways. The government was in shambles. A plague that turned people into fine, yellow dust had apparently appeared, sweeping the continent from east to west. Yet, there was nothing I could do. Right in front of me, I had my own foes to contend with on the roof of Holos Lucidium.
On my right was a shapeless mass, writhing and transforming, throwing vicious barbs my way. It never introduced itself, but I knew its name from within myself: the Beast.
On my left was a much more innocent figure, at least on the surface. He had slicked-back black hair, brown eyes simmering with self-assured pride, and an easy smirk. And to cap it off, he introduced himself promptly and with great gusto; he was Dread Lord Ardus.
I could attempt to flee, but what purpose would that serve? Even if I got away, which my gut told me was highly unlikely, I would be abandoning my guild to die to these two monsters. So no. I stood my ground here.
“Sanguia. Member of Holos Lucidium.” I balanced my stance between my two flanks, watching both. With a smirk from Ardus and a ripple from the Beast, the fight began.
I quickly discarded the idea of even fighting the rippling mass on my right. It had no blood I could control, and impacting it with my blade would make me stuck. But the Dread Lord was no slouch, either.
As I rushed at Ardus, a tingle in my spine screamed at me to duck. I tucked into a combat roll as a great blast of flame roared right where I used to be.
“Fiesty, aren’t you? Well, that’s what makes it fun,” the Dread Lord growled, licking his lips.
I had no time to respond as a raging, shimmering bull attempted to ram its gleaming horns directly through me. I sprung off the ground, landing just behind the writhing bull. There was no time to go on the offensive; it took all I could to stay alive.
“Stop struggling, Interloper,” the Beast snarled. “I have plans I have to attend to. Plans that do not involve you.”
I kept the undulating mass between myself and my second opponent. My only hope was to promote crossfire. The dagger I held in my right hand felt woefully inadequate for this task.
“You heard the fella. I’ll end this, here and now.” Ardus thrust his hand straight up into the air as if grasping something far above him.
“Dread Lord. May I take this as a sign of betrayal?” The Beast rumbled, a dangerous edge to its voice.
“Nah, I never said I was working with you. You’re too… icky for my tastes.” The Dread Lord tapped his chin thoughtfully. “It’s a good thing you’ll be obliterated in an instant. Ta ta!”
I looked up with a heavy heart, knowing how outclassed I was. There was barely time to say goodbye before a massive ball of light enveloped me in its all-consuming shine. The last thing I managed to think was:
That was an utterly unfair fight.
“Hey, it’s not so bad! Scarlet is still alive, right?” Maishul dug around in the cauldron before pulling out yet another distended scene. “Look! Here she is!”
“What… is that?” Lothli looked at the scene with equal parts awe and disgust.
“Oh! Well, I really liked Fye’s SerSun, so I made my own! Isn’t it great?”
“Maishul, I think you missed the entire point of his SerSun. Where’s the inter-character drama? Where’s the mystery? Where’s the actual HISTORY?” Lothli poked the off-kilter scene with distaste. “This version of the story is just <Murder.>.”
“Well too bad, dear ‘ol sis! Here! We! Go!”
Hi, I’m Benedict Lushon, Ben for short. Somehow, I think I just unlocked the secret to teleportation. I stand in the middle of the mansion’s dining room, feeling my stomach turn violently. One moment, I was chained in front of a cackling Kyle, and the next thing I know, we’re back in this blasted room. I crane my head, checking who else is here.
Teddy, check. His monocle and top hat are still crooked as he looks around the room, just as confused as I.
Cornell, check. Unfortunately, he still seems to be out cold.
Kyle, check. Wait—
I stride up to Kyle and grab onto his lapels. “What exactly have you done?” I say, shaking him back and forth.
Unfortunately, he seems even more confused by the current events than I am, judging by the bulging eyes and frothing at the mouth.
“W-What exactly happened here!? We were just— and then—” my former coworker manages to sputter out before a booming feminine voice rings out from the walls.
“Heya! What’s up,
“Who are you?! What have you done?!” Kyle screams, his voice cracking. “I have waited YEARS to take my revenge on these fools, and you—”
“Oh. You.” The voice seems displeased at the interruption. “Sorry, I didn’t think your Tuffy plotline was interesting, so I retconned it!”
Now, that was the mark of a bad writer. As a future multi-bestselling author, I know that one of the most sinful things a writer can do is randomly retcon the story. I’m confident this random influencer girl will never go anywhere in her writing career.
“YOU! We were known as the Tufforo family, and we—” Kyle rages before being cut off by the voice again.
“Sorry, don’t care.” A piece of duct tape manifests itself directly onto Kyle’s mouth. I would find it funny if it didn’t demonstrate how supernatural this influencer’s power seems.
“Anyways! Here’s the rules. I’m not really good at that being cryptic thing, so it’ll be easy!” the voice announces with glee. “Here’s my super special sparkly OC, do not steal, known as Scarlet, Scourge of the Americas. She’ll try and chase you down! She wins when you’re all dead. You all win when, I don’t know, she dies of old age or something. You can try to kill her; it won’t work!”
‘Super special sparkly OC, do not steal?’ So, what, did I find myself in some hellish parody of Earth? That must be it. This must all be a very terrible dream. I sincerely hope that none of my readers would ever consider making fanfiction like this of my stories.
“By jove, those rules seem downright unfair!” Teddy finally seems to have found his voice. “Please, good madam, could you let us go? We have already suffered at the hands of that accursed man—”
“Lalala, can’t hear you!” the girl’s voice sang out. “Here she comes! Give it up for… Scarlet!”
A hidden panel drops a… rather regular-looking young woman onto the floor. Why, if I were in charge, I would have ensured that my villain would have a spectacular appearance. Someone as fascinating and spellbinding as Jack the Ripper—
Scarlet dashes at Kyle and [REDACTED]
… … Technical Difficulties
“Well, Scarlet’s kinda messy, so I tried to cover it up,” Maishul pouted. “Also, I was just trying to liven up the scene a bit! Kyle’s so BORING. He speaks in RIDDLES and they make my brain HURT.”
“That’s because you don’t have a single brain cell in that head of yours,” Lothli huffed. “Don’t make such sweeping changes to people’s stories!”
“Well… dear sis, could I trouble you for a favor, since I’m so head empty ‘n all?” Maishul smiled her widest, most brilliant smile.
“What.” The other twin glared back, unimpressed.
“Well, if you don’t want the two of us to get banned, can you help me separate these stories back out? Please?” With a fluttering of her eyelashes and a winsome wink, this would undoubtedly win her sister to her side—
“Deal with it yourself. I’m going to hand out apologies.” Lothli had no sympathy for her twin’s plight.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Maishul cried. For now, she was burdened with her least favorite task; actual work.
And thus, this tale comes to a close. Nevertheless, its name will ring true throughout the land as the legendary fable known only as “In the Shadow of Machines, Scarlet, and the In Between Geas and the Beginning of the Demon Murder History: Dissonance, also How Did We Get Here?”
Thank you very much for your time. And apologies for my sister.
Lothli, signing off.
Special thanks to u/OldBayJ, which this fantastic feature would be impossible without.
2023.04.01 04:12 BrownTown427 Booking The AEW Women's Title Until Double Or Nothing 2024: Part I
Since becoming AEW Women’s Champion at Full Gear in 2022, Jamie Hayter has proven that she can more than hold her own as the figure everyone sets out to dethrone in the women’s division. With successful title defenses against Hikaru Shida and in the triple threat at Revolution against Saraya and Ruby Soho, all the critics have been forced to drink the Hayterade up to this point. However, with more challengers approaching, what will the future look like for the title? Let’s find out…
Dynamite (4/5/23):
With the start of the second hour of Dynamite, Jamie Hayter and Britt Baker make their way to the ring, the crowd cheering them on as they get ready to speak:
Britt Baker: “Long Island! Look, I could give some long talk about how we’re sick of the so-called Outcasts, but you all know that by now. And I could talk about how much it feels great seeing Adam (Cole) back in action, but I don’t need to: everyone knows we’re the Undisputed couple of this company. So how about we hear from the incredible AEW Women’s Champion, and my good friend… Jamie Hayter!”
Britt hands the mic to Jamie as the crowd gives a quick positive reaction.
Jamie Hayter: “As I sit here the best damn female talent on the roster today, I could easily talk about the now. But I want to talk about something different: I want to talk about the past. Throughout my entire career, I’ve been underestimated. People thought I wouldn’t make it in this industry. People looked at me as nothing more than Britt Baker’s lackey. And even still, people like the Outcasts have looked at me as being undeserving of holding this championship. Well I’ll be damned if I let that define my career as a wrestler. I’m going to defend this title next week, and I want a strong opponent. Another opportunity to prove I can step up to anyone and come out unscathed on the other end…”
Before she can go on though, she gets interrupted by…SERENA DEEB! After being on hiatus with an injury for several months, the veteran is back, and upon entering the ring, she looks the champion up and down. She briefly glances at Britt as well, before getting the chance to speak her mind:
Serena Deeb: “Jamie, I’ll be honest: you’re right. I was someone backstage who didn’t respect you early on. Since then, you’ve gotten out of Britt’s shadow, and now you’re a champion. But the issue is…I want to be champion too. Since joining AEW, I have yet to hold that belt, and I’ve had enough of sitting idly by and watching opportunities slip me by. So next week, you want a match against a strong opponent? You’re on.”
And with that, the title match is set for seven days from now, two figures confident in their abilities set to test each other’s limits. The only question is: will it be a clean fight? Or will certain other people decide to screw things up?
Dynamite (4/12/23): Serena Deeb vs. Jamie Hayter (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
To answer that question from before, the ending result is… a perfectly clean match! In her first match back from injury, the veteran Deeb looks to take the younger champion down a peg. She succeeds early on, getting control and slowing the pace of the match down in her favor. However, despite Deeb getting in some solid work on the leg of Hayter and even managing to apply the devastating Serenity Lock, Hayter fights valiantly back. She escapes the hold by clawing her way to the bottom rope, and shortly thereafter, decapitates Deeb with her signature Hayterade Lariat to seal things.
Jamie Hayter def. Serena Deeb via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Title (11:03)
After the match, Hayter indulges in the standard post-match victory celebration, but it’s soon interrupted by the Outcasts appearing over the titantron. At their feet is the weakened body of a particular women’s competitor… Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter’s friend Rebel! Saraya then starts speaking into the camera:
Saraya: “It’s a shame this had to happen to someone like Rebel. She did nothing wrong, if only she had friends that could’ve backed her up at a time like this…oh wait. Wasn’t she one of your friends? She thought so. But you two left her when she was no longer of use to you. For as many bad things as you say about us, we at least stick together. We’re trying to change this landscape for the better, but you keep trying to keep it down as a complete shithole. So enjoy that title for now, Hayter, but soon enough, it’ll belong to the Outcasts.”
Dynamite (4/19/23):
After a solid match between Toni Storm and Hikaru Shida ends with Storm picking up the victory (albeit by questionable measures after a cheap shot by Soho to Shida allowing Toni to get a surprise roll-up), Storm starts cutting a promo on behalf of the Outcasts:
Toni Storm: “Another victory for us, but that’s not surprising. We’re used to being successful after all, used to having millions upon millions of people clamoring for our autographs. But as for the current “champion”? She’s irrelevant. She thinks she’s special because she’s rehashing the open challenge concept, but where is she tonight? Sitting on her ass, not putting in work while I just beat a former champion. But where’s my title opportunity? I never got my rematch against Hayter, I deserve…”
It’s there that Hayter inevitably interrupts, standing at the top of the entrance ramp with an amused expression on her face and a mic in tow:
Jamie Hayter: “Really, Toni? Playing the popularity card, are we? As much as I detest Saraya, she at least was a focal point of women’s wrestling for years. And Ruby got to shine in the women’s tag division for a while. But you? You’re more known for getting pies repeatedly thrown in your face in the other company than for, you know, actual wrestling ability. But hey, I’ll throw you a bone. You did beat Shida tonight, so I’ll gladly fight you… and we can do it in two days on Rampage! See you soon.”
Rampage (4/21/23): Toni Storm vs. Jamie Hayter (c) III - AEW Women’s Championship
With these two having fought twice before in singles competition, each woman having taken one win apiece, it’s time to determine who wins the best of three and gets the AEW Women’s Title. Hayter starts off the match hot, taking the fight right to Storm, but it’s inevitable that the Outcasts and Britt will eventually come to blows at ringside. Hayter helps Britt take Saraya and Soho out momentarily, but upon getting back in the ring, Storm blindsides her, allowing her to get the advantage. However, she can’t seal the deal in the end, as with the ref turning a blind eye to the rest of the altercations on the outside, Hayter eventually regains control, out-wrestling Storm en route to hitting the Hayterade.
Jamie Hayter def. Toni Storm via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Title (13:37)
Unfortunately, after the match, Saraya and Soho attack Jamie from behind. Britt tries to help her friend, and she’s successful momentarily, taking Soho down and laying in shots against Saraya. But Ruby gets back in the ring, blasting Baker with a steel chair and allowing the Outcasts the opportunity to just dismantle Hayter and Britt. However, instead of destroying Jamie, they opt for her to have to watch the beating they inflict on her friend instead, with Saraya, Ruby, and Toni each taking turns hitting the chair on Britt’s arm and leaving it majorly injured. The segment ends with medical officials checking on Baker, while Hayter is left furious at the warfare being inflicted upon them.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
With Britt Baker being put on the shelf in kayfabe, Hayter would have to go at it the next several weeks on her own. Unfortunately, after another successful title defense against Anna Jay, Hayter would once again be blindsided by the Outcasts, with Ruby holding up the title to end the segment, signifying that she’s gonna be the one to challenge Hayter for the championship next. And though things aren’t looking good for Jamie, she has one trick up her sleeve that might work if all goes well…
Rampage (5/12/23): Hikaru Shida Pre-Taped Backstage Interview
As Shida is wrapping up a quick discussion with Tony Schiavone, Jamie Hayter would walk in. Shida immediately gets defensive, looking ready to fight if things escalate, but Hayter shows no interest in that. Instead, she says…
JH: “Shida, I’m not here to fight. I know we don’t have the best history between us, and I’m not looking to necessarily change that relationship. But as of late, the Outcasts have been wreaking havoc over the entire women’s division. And sure, they’ve mostly been sticking to making the lives of younger talents miserable, but who’s to say they won’t target you next? Saraya and Toni abandoned you once. And I know you want this title back more than anything, so when you try and get it, they’ll stop at nothing to take you out of the picture. So what I’m saying is, if you really want to make a big step towards getting gold back around your waist…I’d recommend making the first move against them…”
And with that, Hayter exits the room, Shida still looking annoyed but being left with something to ponder as well.
Dynamite (5/17/23): Athena vs. Jamie Hayter (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
In Hayter’s final title defense before Double or Nothing, she has to go up against the dynamic Athena. The former Ember Moon is able to put up a strong showing, using her combination of agility and solid strength to keep Jamie reeling throughout a good portion of the contest. But in the end, Hayter once again proves why she’s been champion for the better part of six months, eventually catching Athena as she goes for an Eclipse and instead transitioning it straight into the Hayterade Ripcord Lariat.
Jamie Hayter def. Athena to retain the AEW Women’s Championship (13:33)
After the match, the Outcasts start making their way to the ring, seemingly bent on once again destroying Hayter. But as Athena gets up, it initially looks like she might help Jamie, standing side-by-side with her as Saraya briefly holds Ruby and Toni back. However, Athena decides it’s not worth it fighting this battle, exiting the ring and walking by the Outcasts, not giving them a second glance. Saraya smirks at this, but just as it looks like Hayter is done for…
OUT COMES HIKARU SHIDA WITH A KENDO STICK! She starts battering the backs of Saraya, Storm, and Soho, leaving them all in a heap outside the ring while Jamie just looks on, a look of surprise on her face. Sure, she pitched the idea to Shida, but she didn’t actually think it was gonna work… And once Shida is through with the assault, she glances back up towards Jamie, her eyes quickly shifting towards the title, before walking out, uninterested in doing anything else at that given moment.
Double Or Nothing (5/28/23): Ruby Soho vs. Jamie Hayter (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
Although Jamie Hayter may have beaten both Saraya and Ruby Soho at Revolution, the singles match with Soho is still going to be quite the challenge, possibly even more than the triple threat. In addition to facing a talented in-ring competitor, Saraya and Storm stand at ringside, and it’s only inevitable they’ll get involved at some point. Despite these odds, Hayter fights Soho well, doing her best to ignore Ruby’s partners. However, after a move leaves both women down, the ref checking on Hayter quickly, Saraya passes Ruby a pair of brass knuckles! Hayter doesn’t see this, and while she gets Ruby in position for the Hayterade, Soho ducks it, leveling Jamie in the back of the neck with the brass-covered knuckles at an angle the ref can’t see! Hayter collapses into the corner, the only thing keeping her upright. This gives Ruby the chance she needs, pulling Jamie towards her and taking her out with the No Future Pelé Kick.
Ruby Soho def. Jamie Hayter via pinfall to win the AEW Women’s Championship
And just like that, we have a new AEW Women’s Champion, Ruby Soho having won the top prize in the women’s division and giving the Outcasts even more power than they already had. But a lot can change in a matter of merely a few days…
Dynamite (5/31/23): Outcasts Title Celebration
Following Ruby’s title victory, the Outcasts decide that it’s only fitting they tell everyone what they were dreading to hear:
Saraya: “WE TOLD YOU SO! That’s right, to all these idiot fans with the attention span of gnats, to biased commentators like the so-called “legend” Tony Schiavone, to all of those weak-minded women’s wrestlers backstage… WE TOLD YOU SO! When push came to shove, Hayter simply didn’t have the ability nor the experience to beat a superior talent like Ruby Soho. Ruby was disrespected by people like Britt Baker when she first came in, and now, she helped take her out of commission AND steal Britt’s best friend’s title. Sounds like a beautiful comeback story to me.”
Saraya then hands the mic to Soho, allowing the champ to get in a few words:
Ruby Soho: “It was a few weeks ago that Jamie talked about herself being underestimated, but she doesn’t know the damn meaning of the word. She’s been a spoiled bitch her entire time in AEW, and she never deserved to win that title in the first place. But me. I deserve this shit more than any of you people could ever know. I was always overshadowed. Hell, when I was released, I may as well have had my stuff thrown in a trash bag, that’s how little I was valued… oh wait, that was some other overrated, washed-up legend. Regardless, I’m at the top now. And if I could quote a wise man or wizard or whatever he identifies as now: disrespecting me or Toni or Saraya is a stupid idea from bad creative!”
It’s not longer after this that Jamie Hayer interrupts, looking quite agitated. Before she can speak her mind though, Toni grabs the mic:
Toni Storm: “What do you think you’re doing out here, Jamie? You lost to Ruby last night, and that puts you right at the back of the line where you belong. If I had to wait months to get my title rematch, you’re not getting it so soon either.”
Jamie Hayter: “Oh shut your mouth Toni, I just beat you a few weeks ago, don’t make me have to do it again. And I didn’t come out here to demand a title match: no, I wanted to make an announcement. The beauty of healing from an injury is that it seems to happen more quickly when you have a motivation behind it. And in the case of this person, their motivation is wanting to kick your asses! Everyone, please welcome back…BRITT BAKER!”
The crowd erupts as the Doctor makes her return to AEW programming, arm looking to be fully healed. She walks out with two steel chairs in tow, handing one to Hayter, and the pair march to the ring, ready to dismantle the Outcasts. Saraya, Storm, and Soho initially hold their ground, but after each of them receives a couple of shots apiece, they’re forced to retreat.
From there, Britt Baker gets back into the fold of things, winning her return to competition match and making it clear her sights are fully set on vanquishing both the Outcasts as a whole and Soho especially to prevent their reign of terror. Ruby has no interest in that singles match happening anytime soon, knowing what’s happened in previous singles encounters with her and Britt. However, with Baker rising the ranks, it looks like a tag match will help decide whether Britt will get the opportunity or not. But she won’t be partnering with Hayter: instead, the match will be…
Dynamite (6/28/23): Saraya and Chris Jericho vs. Britt Baker and Adam Cole - Mixed Tag Team Match
With the Outcasts having paid homage to one of Chris Jericho’s past AEW quotes, they would also look to get him on their good side. This would later see Jericho even confront Baker after one of her matches, and with Jericho Appreciation Society having been feuding with Adam Cole recently, things get tense quickly. After an insufferable comment from Jericho, Baker slaps Chris, and while he looks agitated, he holds himself back, telling her that she’ll regret that decision.
And getting to the match itself, while Baker was hoping that Ruby would be the one teaming with Chris, Saraya opts to instead, knowing that she’s beaten Britt in singles competition before and can do it again. Despite Saraya and Jericho having never teamed before, they show good chemistry together, making frequent tags. And while it looks as though things are remaining steady, the match suddenly takes a wild turn. After Jericho hits a Lionsault on Cole, he goes for the cover, but Britt breaks up the pin. And in response…JERICHO HITS HER WITH THE JUDAS EFFECT! The commentators are horrified, and Cole is initially in shock, but that shock soon turns to outright anger. He unleashes himself on Jericho, absolutely destroying him with shots before not only nailing the Panama Sunrise, but a Last Shot as well for good measure to put an end to his feud with Chris and the rest of Jericho Appreciation Society.
Adam Cole and Britt Baker def. Chris Jericho and Saraya (15:40)
Fyter Fest Night One: Britt Baker vs. Ruby Soho (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
With her being a part of the winning team, Britt Baker receives the shot at Ruby she wanted, and she knows she has to make the most of it. She starts off the match strong, looking like what Adam Cole was doing to Jericho at the end of the match with repeated, vicious shots forcing Soho into the corner and then having to crawl away out of desperation. However, Ruby knew to expect a very difficult challenge, bringing her own A-game in the process for the rest of the match. At the end, Soho nails not one, but two consecutive No Future Pele kicks in succession, ultimately picking up the win.
Ruby Soho def. Britt Baker via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Championship (14:20)
Fight For The Fallen: Jamie Hayter vs. Ruby Soho (c) - Unsanctioned Match for the AEW Women’s Championship
Unfortunately for Soho, just a few weeks later, she has another tough test, this time having to fight Jamie in a rematch after Hayter goes on a multi-match win streak to earn the opportunity. And she manages to get in Soho’s ear about the potential benefits of having No DQ for their title match, who likely thinks that the Outcasts can just help her win if worse comes to worst.
However, before the match can begin, Britt Baker, with Rebel back by her side, fights Saraya and Storm into the back, leading to a completely even playing field. It’s a hard-hitting and violent affair, with each woman bringing out multiple weapons to use at their disposal. Hayter has a disturbing amount of fun with repeated kendo stick shots to Soho’s back, while Ruby pulls out a page from her former partner Liv Morgan’s book and hits Hayter with a Senton through a table. But at the end, as both women are down, out comes…Athena?!?!
Athena gets into the ring, staring down Soho. But as Hayter gets up behind her…ATHENA ROCKS JAMIE WITH A FOREARM! The commentators are stunned as Soho smirks, quickly moving back to Hayter to capitalize on Athena’s decision and nailing the Pele Kick to once again retain her title, albeit under dubious circumstances.
Ruby Soho def. Jamie Hayter via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Championship (18:22)
And while Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter are now firmly in the rear-view mirror, the Outcasts look towards the future. Or maybe, it’s the future that’s coming to them…
Dynamite (8/16/23):
Following a Toni Storm singles win, Ruby gets on the mic, mockingly asking who’s next. Everyone in AEW is either scared of them, already gotten beaten by them, or just not worthy of being in the ring with them. It would take someone from out of this world just to have a shot at beating them…
OUT COMES THE RETURNING KRIS STATLANDER! They wanted someone from out of this world, and on cue, out comes the Galaxy’s Greatest Alien. She gets into the ring, completely ignoring Saraya and Toni and immediately just getting in Soho’s face, already staking her claim to be the next challenger.
Over the coming weeks, Statlander more than showcases why she has what it takes. She wins in her return matches, including a singles victory against Toni Storm, and in promos, she talks about the hatred she feels towards the group. The idea of them merely coming together just because they were better in their old company? They don’t care about improving themselves, they care about wrecking the lives of everyone who actually respects this industry. And now that she’s healthy, she’s ready to help AEW out by taking Ruby’s title at All Out. But it’s also worth mentioning, there’s another high-stakes women’s match at the PPV as well…
All Out Match #1: Women’s Casino Ladder Match
With the men having had a casino ladder match for years now, it’s only fitting that the women would have one as well. And of course, the match gets to make its debut at one of the biggest AEW events of the year. The match kicks off with Athena and Jamie Hayter, both looking to tear each other limb from limb after Athena cost Hayter the title and joined the Outcasts. From there, Toni Storm, Saraya, Serena Deeb, Britt Baker, Taya Valkyrie, and the Joker Hikaru Shida enter the fray, leading to some interesting sequences. Deeb and Shida brawl early on, and the numbers game of the Outcasts slowly comes into play as the match progresses. However, as Baker and Hayter stand side-by-side, Shida too joins them, and a three-on-three person brawl between them and the Outcasts ensues. But in the end, Shida and Saraya are at the top of the ladder, dueling it out, but the woman who kicks the other off and grabs the chip is…HIKARU SHIDA! SHE’S CLINCHED A FUTURE WOMEN’S TITLE OPPORTUNITY!
Hikaru Shida def. the rest of the field to win the Casino Ladder Match
All Out Match #2: Kris Statlander vs. Ruby Soho (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
And in another important match, we’ve got Ruby Soho’s possibly hardest match to date. Despite having been sidelined with injury for most of the year, Statlander doesn’t look as though she’s missed a step, keeping Soho on her heels with fast-paced action. However, as Soho gets damaged more and more, she gets more desperate, and realizes what she needs to do to win. She begins targeting the previously torn ACL of Statlander, using chop blocks to weaken the knee area. And while Statlander is able to initially survive this, the wear-and-tear of the match alongside that damage eventually causes her to falter, paving the way for Soho to hit the No Future and just barely survive in a tough battle.
Ruby Soho def. Kris Statlander via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Championship
submitted by BrownTown427 to FantasyBookingElite [link] [comments]
Dynamite (4/5/23):
With the start of the second hour of Dynamite, Jamie Hayter and Britt Baker make their way to the ring, the crowd cheering them on as they get ready to speak:
Britt Baker: “Long Island! Look, I could give some long talk about how we’re sick of the so-called Outcasts, but you all know that by now. And I could talk about how much it feels great seeing Adam (Cole) back in action, but I don’t need to: everyone knows we’re the Undisputed couple of this company. So how about we hear from the incredible AEW Women’s Champion, and my good friend… Jamie Hayter!”
Britt hands the mic to Jamie as the crowd gives a quick positive reaction.
Jamie Hayter: “As I sit here the best damn female talent on the roster today, I could easily talk about the now. But I want to talk about something different: I want to talk about the past. Throughout my entire career, I’ve been underestimated. People thought I wouldn’t make it in this industry. People looked at me as nothing more than Britt Baker’s lackey. And even still, people like the Outcasts have looked at me as being undeserving of holding this championship. Well I’ll be damned if I let that define my career as a wrestler. I’m going to defend this title next week, and I want a strong opponent. Another opportunity to prove I can step up to anyone and come out unscathed on the other end…”
Before she can go on though, she gets interrupted by…SERENA DEEB! After being on hiatus with an injury for several months, the veteran is back, and upon entering the ring, she looks the champion up and down. She briefly glances at Britt as well, before getting the chance to speak her mind:
Serena Deeb: “Jamie, I’ll be honest: you’re right. I was someone backstage who didn’t respect you early on. Since then, you’ve gotten out of Britt’s shadow, and now you’re a champion. But the issue is…I want to be champion too. Since joining AEW, I have yet to hold that belt, and I’ve had enough of sitting idly by and watching opportunities slip me by. So next week, you want a match against a strong opponent? You’re on.”
And with that, the title match is set for seven days from now, two figures confident in their abilities set to test each other’s limits. The only question is: will it be a clean fight? Or will certain other people decide to screw things up?
Dynamite (4/12/23): Serena Deeb vs. Jamie Hayter (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
To answer that question from before, the ending result is… a perfectly clean match! In her first match back from injury, the veteran Deeb looks to take the younger champion down a peg. She succeeds early on, getting control and slowing the pace of the match down in her favor. However, despite Deeb getting in some solid work on the leg of Hayter and even managing to apply the devastating Serenity Lock, Hayter fights valiantly back. She escapes the hold by clawing her way to the bottom rope, and shortly thereafter, decapitates Deeb with her signature Hayterade Lariat to seal things.
Jamie Hayter def. Serena Deeb via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Title (11:03)
After the match, Hayter indulges in the standard post-match victory celebration, but it’s soon interrupted by the Outcasts appearing over the titantron. At their feet is the weakened body of a particular women’s competitor… Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter’s friend Rebel! Saraya then starts speaking into the camera:
Saraya: “It’s a shame this had to happen to someone like Rebel. She did nothing wrong, if only she had friends that could’ve backed her up at a time like this…oh wait. Wasn’t she one of your friends? She thought so. But you two left her when she was no longer of use to you. For as many bad things as you say about us, we at least stick together. We’re trying to change this landscape for the better, but you keep trying to keep it down as a complete shithole. So enjoy that title for now, Hayter, but soon enough, it’ll belong to the Outcasts.”
Dynamite (4/19/23):
After a solid match between Toni Storm and Hikaru Shida ends with Storm picking up the victory (albeit by questionable measures after a cheap shot by Soho to Shida allowing Toni to get a surprise roll-up), Storm starts cutting a promo on behalf of the Outcasts:
Toni Storm: “Another victory for us, but that’s not surprising. We’re used to being successful after all, used to having millions upon millions of people clamoring for our autographs. But as for the current “champion”? She’s irrelevant. She thinks she’s special because she’s rehashing the open challenge concept, but where is she tonight? Sitting on her ass, not putting in work while I just beat a former champion. But where’s my title opportunity? I never got my rematch against Hayter, I deserve…”
It’s there that Hayter inevitably interrupts, standing at the top of the entrance ramp with an amused expression on her face and a mic in tow:
Jamie Hayter: “Really, Toni? Playing the popularity card, are we? As much as I detest Saraya, she at least was a focal point of women’s wrestling for years. And Ruby got to shine in the women’s tag division for a while. But you? You’re more known for getting pies repeatedly thrown in your face in the other company than for, you know, actual wrestling ability. But hey, I’ll throw you a bone. You did beat Shida tonight, so I’ll gladly fight you… and we can do it in two days on Rampage! See you soon.”
Rampage (4/21/23): Toni Storm vs. Jamie Hayter (c) III - AEW Women’s Championship
With these two having fought twice before in singles competition, each woman having taken one win apiece, it’s time to determine who wins the best of three and gets the AEW Women’s Title. Hayter starts off the match hot, taking the fight right to Storm, but it’s inevitable that the Outcasts and Britt will eventually come to blows at ringside. Hayter helps Britt take Saraya and Soho out momentarily, but upon getting back in the ring, Storm blindsides her, allowing her to get the advantage. However, she can’t seal the deal in the end, as with the ref turning a blind eye to the rest of the altercations on the outside, Hayter eventually regains control, out-wrestling Storm en route to hitting the Hayterade.
Jamie Hayter def. Toni Storm via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Title (13:37)
Unfortunately, after the match, Saraya and Soho attack Jamie from behind. Britt tries to help her friend, and she’s successful momentarily, taking Soho down and laying in shots against Saraya. But Ruby gets back in the ring, blasting Baker with a steel chair and allowing the Outcasts the opportunity to just dismantle Hayter and Britt. However, instead of destroying Jamie, they opt for her to have to watch the beating they inflict on her friend instead, with Saraya, Ruby, and Toni each taking turns hitting the chair on Britt’s arm and leaving it majorly injured. The segment ends with medical officials checking on Baker, while Hayter is left furious at the warfare being inflicted upon them.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
With Britt Baker being put on the shelf in kayfabe, Hayter would have to go at it the next several weeks on her own. Unfortunately, after another successful title defense against Anna Jay, Hayter would once again be blindsided by the Outcasts, with Ruby holding up the title to end the segment, signifying that she’s gonna be the one to challenge Hayter for the championship next. And though things aren’t looking good for Jamie, she has one trick up her sleeve that might work if all goes well…
Rampage (5/12/23): Hikaru Shida Pre-Taped Backstage Interview
As Shida is wrapping up a quick discussion with Tony Schiavone, Jamie Hayter would walk in. Shida immediately gets defensive, looking ready to fight if things escalate, but Hayter shows no interest in that. Instead, she says…
JH: “Shida, I’m not here to fight. I know we don’t have the best history between us, and I’m not looking to necessarily change that relationship. But as of late, the Outcasts have been wreaking havoc over the entire women’s division. And sure, they’ve mostly been sticking to making the lives of younger talents miserable, but who’s to say they won’t target you next? Saraya and Toni abandoned you once. And I know you want this title back more than anything, so when you try and get it, they’ll stop at nothing to take you out of the picture. So what I’m saying is, if you really want to make a big step towards getting gold back around your waist…I’d recommend making the first move against them…”
And with that, Hayter exits the room, Shida still looking annoyed but being left with something to ponder as well.
Dynamite (5/17/23): Athena vs. Jamie Hayter (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
In Hayter’s final title defense before Double or Nothing, she has to go up against the dynamic Athena. The former Ember Moon is able to put up a strong showing, using her combination of agility and solid strength to keep Jamie reeling throughout a good portion of the contest. But in the end, Hayter once again proves why she’s been champion for the better part of six months, eventually catching Athena as she goes for an Eclipse and instead transitioning it straight into the Hayterade Ripcord Lariat.
Jamie Hayter def. Athena to retain the AEW Women’s Championship (13:33)
After the match, the Outcasts start making their way to the ring, seemingly bent on once again destroying Hayter. But as Athena gets up, it initially looks like she might help Jamie, standing side-by-side with her as Saraya briefly holds Ruby and Toni back. However, Athena decides it’s not worth it fighting this battle, exiting the ring and walking by the Outcasts, not giving them a second glance. Saraya smirks at this, but just as it looks like Hayter is done for…
OUT COMES HIKARU SHIDA WITH A KENDO STICK! She starts battering the backs of Saraya, Storm, and Soho, leaving them all in a heap outside the ring while Jamie just looks on, a look of surprise on her face. Sure, she pitched the idea to Shida, but she didn’t actually think it was gonna work… And once Shida is through with the assault, she glances back up towards Jamie, her eyes quickly shifting towards the title, before walking out, uninterested in doing anything else at that given moment.
Double Or Nothing (5/28/23): Ruby Soho vs. Jamie Hayter (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
Although Jamie Hayter may have beaten both Saraya and Ruby Soho at Revolution, the singles match with Soho is still going to be quite the challenge, possibly even more than the triple threat. In addition to facing a talented in-ring competitor, Saraya and Storm stand at ringside, and it’s only inevitable they’ll get involved at some point. Despite these odds, Hayter fights Soho well, doing her best to ignore Ruby’s partners. However, after a move leaves both women down, the ref checking on Hayter quickly, Saraya passes Ruby a pair of brass knuckles! Hayter doesn’t see this, and while she gets Ruby in position for the Hayterade, Soho ducks it, leveling Jamie in the back of the neck with the brass-covered knuckles at an angle the ref can’t see! Hayter collapses into the corner, the only thing keeping her upright. This gives Ruby the chance she needs, pulling Jamie towards her and taking her out with the No Future Pelé Kick.
Ruby Soho def. Jamie Hayter via pinfall to win the AEW Women’s Championship
And just like that, we have a new AEW Women’s Champion, Ruby Soho having won the top prize in the women’s division and giving the Outcasts even more power than they already had. But a lot can change in a matter of merely a few days…
Dynamite (5/31/23): Outcasts Title Celebration
Following Ruby’s title victory, the Outcasts decide that it’s only fitting they tell everyone what they were dreading to hear:
Saraya: “WE TOLD YOU SO! That’s right, to all these idiot fans with the attention span of gnats, to biased commentators like the so-called “legend” Tony Schiavone, to all of those weak-minded women’s wrestlers backstage… WE TOLD YOU SO! When push came to shove, Hayter simply didn’t have the ability nor the experience to beat a superior talent like Ruby Soho. Ruby was disrespected by people like Britt Baker when she first came in, and now, she helped take her out of commission AND steal Britt’s best friend’s title. Sounds like a beautiful comeback story to me.”
Saraya then hands the mic to Soho, allowing the champ to get in a few words:
Ruby Soho: “It was a few weeks ago that Jamie talked about herself being underestimated, but she doesn’t know the damn meaning of the word. She’s been a spoiled bitch her entire time in AEW, and she never deserved to win that title in the first place. But me. I deserve this shit more than any of you people could ever know. I was always overshadowed. Hell, when I was released, I may as well have had my stuff thrown in a trash bag, that’s how little I was valued… oh wait, that was some other overrated, washed-up legend. Regardless, I’m at the top now. And if I could quote a wise man or wizard or whatever he identifies as now: disrespecting me or Toni or Saraya is a stupid idea from bad creative!”
It’s not longer after this that Jamie Hayer interrupts, looking quite agitated. Before she can speak her mind though, Toni grabs the mic:
Toni Storm: “What do you think you’re doing out here, Jamie? You lost to Ruby last night, and that puts you right at the back of the line where you belong. If I had to wait months to get my title rematch, you’re not getting it so soon either.”
Jamie Hayter: “Oh shut your mouth Toni, I just beat you a few weeks ago, don’t make me have to do it again. And I didn’t come out here to demand a title match: no, I wanted to make an announcement. The beauty of healing from an injury is that it seems to happen more quickly when you have a motivation behind it. And in the case of this person, their motivation is wanting to kick your asses! Everyone, please welcome back…BRITT BAKER!”
The crowd erupts as the Doctor makes her return to AEW programming, arm looking to be fully healed. She walks out with two steel chairs in tow, handing one to Hayter, and the pair march to the ring, ready to dismantle the Outcasts. Saraya, Storm, and Soho initially hold their ground, but after each of them receives a couple of shots apiece, they’re forced to retreat.
From there, Britt Baker gets back into the fold of things, winning her return to competition match and making it clear her sights are fully set on vanquishing both the Outcasts as a whole and Soho especially to prevent their reign of terror. Ruby has no interest in that singles match happening anytime soon, knowing what’s happened in previous singles encounters with her and Britt. However, with Baker rising the ranks, it looks like a tag match will help decide whether Britt will get the opportunity or not. But she won’t be partnering with Hayter: instead, the match will be…
Dynamite (6/28/23): Saraya and Chris Jericho vs. Britt Baker and Adam Cole - Mixed Tag Team Match
With the Outcasts having paid homage to one of Chris Jericho’s past AEW quotes, they would also look to get him on their good side. This would later see Jericho even confront Baker after one of her matches, and with Jericho Appreciation Society having been feuding with Adam Cole recently, things get tense quickly. After an insufferable comment from Jericho, Baker slaps Chris, and while he looks agitated, he holds himself back, telling her that she’ll regret that decision.
And getting to the match itself, while Baker was hoping that Ruby would be the one teaming with Chris, Saraya opts to instead, knowing that she’s beaten Britt in singles competition before and can do it again. Despite Saraya and Jericho having never teamed before, they show good chemistry together, making frequent tags. And while it looks as though things are remaining steady, the match suddenly takes a wild turn. After Jericho hits a Lionsault on Cole, he goes for the cover, but Britt breaks up the pin. And in response…JERICHO HITS HER WITH THE JUDAS EFFECT! The commentators are horrified, and Cole is initially in shock, but that shock soon turns to outright anger. He unleashes himself on Jericho, absolutely destroying him with shots before not only nailing the Panama Sunrise, but a Last Shot as well for good measure to put an end to his feud with Chris and the rest of Jericho Appreciation Society.
Adam Cole and Britt Baker def. Chris Jericho and Saraya (15:40)
Fyter Fest Night One: Britt Baker vs. Ruby Soho (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
With her being a part of the winning team, Britt Baker receives the shot at Ruby she wanted, and she knows she has to make the most of it. She starts off the match strong, looking like what Adam Cole was doing to Jericho at the end of the match with repeated, vicious shots forcing Soho into the corner and then having to crawl away out of desperation. However, Ruby knew to expect a very difficult challenge, bringing her own A-game in the process for the rest of the match. At the end, Soho nails not one, but two consecutive No Future Pele kicks in succession, ultimately picking up the win.
Ruby Soho def. Britt Baker via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Championship (14:20)
Fight For The Fallen: Jamie Hayter vs. Ruby Soho (c) - Unsanctioned Match for the AEW Women’s Championship
Unfortunately for Soho, just a few weeks later, she has another tough test, this time having to fight Jamie in a rematch after Hayter goes on a multi-match win streak to earn the opportunity. And she manages to get in Soho’s ear about the potential benefits of having No DQ for their title match, who likely thinks that the Outcasts can just help her win if worse comes to worst.
However, before the match can begin, Britt Baker, with Rebel back by her side, fights Saraya and Storm into the back, leading to a completely even playing field. It’s a hard-hitting and violent affair, with each woman bringing out multiple weapons to use at their disposal. Hayter has a disturbing amount of fun with repeated kendo stick shots to Soho’s back, while Ruby pulls out a page from her former partner Liv Morgan’s book and hits Hayter with a Senton through a table. But at the end, as both women are down, out comes…Athena?!?!
Athena gets into the ring, staring down Soho. But as Hayter gets up behind her…ATHENA ROCKS JAMIE WITH A FOREARM! The commentators are stunned as Soho smirks, quickly moving back to Hayter to capitalize on Athena’s decision and nailing the Pele Kick to once again retain her title, albeit under dubious circumstances.
Ruby Soho def. Jamie Hayter via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Championship (18:22)
And while Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter are now firmly in the rear-view mirror, the Outcasts look towards the future. Or maybe, it’s the future that’s coming to them…
Dynamite (8/16/23):
Following a Toni Storm singles win, Ruby gets on the mic, mockingly asking who’s next. Everyone in AEW is either scared of them, already gotten beaten by them, or just not worthy of being in the ring with them. It would take someone from out of this world just to have a shot at beating them…
OUT COMES THE RETURNING KRIS STATLANDER! They wanted someone from out of this world, and on cue, out comes the Galaxy’s Greatest Alien. She gets into the ring, completely ignoring Saraya and Toni and immediately just getting in Soho’s face, already staking her claim to be the next challenger.
Over the coming weeks, Statlander more than showcases why she has what it takes. She wins in her return matches, including a singles victory against Toni Storm, and in promos, she talks about the hatred she feels towards the group. The idea of them merely coming together just because they were better in their old company? They don’t care about improving themselves, they care about wrecking the lives of everyone who actually respects this industry. And now that she’s healthy, she’s ready to help AEW out by taking Ruby’s title at All Out. But it’s also worth mentioning, there’s another high-stakes women’s match at the PPV as well…
All Out Match #1: Women’s Casino Ladder Match
With the men having had a casino ladder match for years now, it’s only fitting that the women would have one as well. And of course, the match gets to make its debut at one of the biggest AEW events of the year. The match kicks off with Athena and Jamie Hayter, both looking to tear each other limb from limb after Athena cost Hayter the title and joined the Outcasts. From there, Toni Storm, Saraya, Serena Deeb, Britt Baker, Taya Valkyrie, and the Joker Hikaru Shida enter the fray, leading to some interesting sequences. Deeb and Shida brawl early on, and the numbers game of the Outcasts slowly comes into play as the match progresses. However, as Baker and Hayter stand side-by-side, Shida too joins them, and a three-on-three person brawl between them and the Outcasts ensues. But in the end, Shida and Saraya are at the top of the ladder, dueling it out, but the woman who kicks the other off and grabs the chip is…HIKARU SHIDA! SHE’S CLINCHED A FUTURE WOMEN’S TITLE OPPORTUNITY!
Hikaru Shida def. the rest of the field to win the Casino Ladder Match
All Out Match #2: Kris Statlander vs. Ruby Soho (c) - AEW Women’s Championship
And in another important match, we’ve got Ruby Soho’s possibly hardest match to date. Despite having been sidelined with injury for most of the year, Statlander doesn’t look as though she’s missed a step, keeping Soho on her heels with fast-paced action. However, as Soho gets damaged more and more, she gets more desperate, and realizes what she needs to do to win. She begins targeting the previously torn ACL of Statlander, using chop blocks to weaken the knee area. And while Statlander is able to initially survive this, the wear-and-tear of the match alongside that damage eventually causes her to falter, paving the way for Soho to hit the No Future and just barely survive in a tough battle.
Ruby Soho def. Kris Statlander via pinfall to retain the AEW Women’s Championship
2023.04.01 04:04 Proletlariet Bionic Commando Backup 2
"Power is like a bionic upgrade. Anyone can get it, but it takes true wisdom to use it for good."
In the 1980s, 'Project Albatross' was discovered by the Imperial State, which are definitely not and have no relation to Nazis (so long as you're playing the game outside of Japan). While they try and enact the plan, the US-like Republic (already at war with the Imperial State) send the renown commando Super Joe behind enemy lines to try and bring a stop to it. He failed, getting captured. As such, a second commando was chosen to both carry on his original plan as well as to perform a one-man rescue mission: Nathan (or Rad) Spencer. But it wasn't just his skills, talents, and weaponry that allowed him to rescue Joe, put a stop to the Imperial State, and kill a reanimatedHitler Master-D. He had a bionic arm, which can grapple things. Beyond this base story, each different canon tells a different interpretation of events.
Every individual canon is listed separately below, with different sources within the same canon being tagged separately. Elements of the Rearmed games appear in the 2009 remake (characters introduced in Rearmed appear in 2009, Rearmed 2's ending lays out the public mistrust in bionics and Joe's betrayal of Spenser which is a key part in the remake), implying they may be in the same canon, but with the lack of direct confirmation on this as well as the radical difference between the games they are listed separately.
Feats marked '1' come from the first game, and feats marked '2' come from the sequel.
In Rearmed 2, Spencer can obtain a number of upgrades to grant his bionic arm extra abilities, though he can only have one active at a time.
Comic feats are tagged with 'C'.
Feats marked '3' are from Marvel vs. Capcom 3, and 'I' from Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite.
The Worlds of Power series was an collection of children's books based on popular NES games, with Bionic Commando closely following the plot and levels of the original. The protagonist of Bionic Commando is named Jack Markson, but as this was before there was an official name given to the character I'm including the book's feats in this thread.
Chapter numbers are included in the feats.
submitted by Proletlariet to u/Proletlariet [link] [comments]
In the 1980s, 'Project Albatross' was discovered by the Imperial State, which are definitely not and have no relation to Nazis (so long as you're playing the game outside of Japan). While they try and enact the plan, the US-like Republic (already at war with the Imperial State) send the renown commando Super Joe behind enemy lines to try and bring a stop to it. He failed, getting captured. As such, a second commando was chosen to both carry on his original plan as well as to perform a one-man rescue mission: Nathan (or Rad) Spencer. But it wasn't just his skills, talents, and weaponry that allowed him to rescue Joe, put a stop to the Imperial State, and kill a reanimated
Every individual canon is listed separately below, with different sources within the same canon being tagged separately. Elements of the Rearmed games appear in the 2009 remake (characters introduced in Rearmed appear in 2009, Rearmed 2's ending lays out the public mistrust in bionics and Joe's betrayal of Spenser which is a key part in the remake), implying they may be in the same canon, but with the lack of direct confirmation on this as well as the radical difference between the games they are listed separately.
Bionic Commando (NES)
Weapons
All weapons can break shield generators, large machines, and vehicles with repeat shots, unless a stronger weapon is used.- A regular gun
- A machine gun
- The wide gun shoots a spread of three projectiles
- The three-way shoots blasts either up, forward, and down
- The rocket launcher shoots forward powerful, piercing projectiles
- A hyper bazooka which destroys a large helicopter shooting through its cockpit
Arm
In this game, the bionic arm is a wrist-mounted device, rather than the entire arm.- Used to swing off of surfaces and pull himself up onto them
- Holds onto a flying helicopter while carrying another person
- Grabs items
- Spins it in a circle around him, deflecting a bullet
Other Equipment
- The medicine can be used to fully heal Spenser, and the iron boots allows him to kill enemies in melee
- The communicator allows for video calls with head command
- Uses the flare bomb to light up a dark cave
- The pendant deflects one projectile from hitting Spenser
- Can pick up power ups which have a ball of energy orbit him for a while
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Strength
- Smashes a large amount of stone blocks by slamming on them from a height2
- Can grab enemies and use them as human shields before throwing them aside1
- Throws a large barrel1
- Yanks apart stacked segments of a stone column1
- Yanks the bolts that connect a siege machine to its armor, making it fly back from the recoil1
Durability
- Falls down a large shaft in a cavern1
- Seemingly jumps out of a helicopter without a parachute1
- Is on a giant missile as it hits the ground, which failed to explode but still wrecked the surrounding area, and is unharmed2
- His arm "deflects most conventional enemy firepower"1
Speed
- Stated to be capable of blocking incoming gunfire with his arm2
- Whips a bullet out of the air with his grappling hook1
- Repeatedly catches rockets out of the air in a boss fight1
- Ducks under bullets in flight1
Arm
General- Can pull himself up to higher levels and swing from the ceiling1
- Can pull large objects towards himself1
- Can whip the grappling hook around as an attack1
- Access codes for doors can be uploaded to his arm1
In Rearmed 2, Spencer can obtain a number of upgrades to grant his bionic arm extra abilities, though he can only have one active at a time.
- Can make a powerful uppercut2
- A grenade launcher2
- Can be electrified to disable or stun foes2
- Hacking capabilities, allowing him to instantly cause a door to open2
- Can release drones which orbit around him, diving into and exploding on nearby threats2
- In Rearmed 2 he requires an upgrade to have his arm whip around him in a circle, with it being able to pass through walls while doing so2
Weapons
Types- Revolver1
- Machine Gun1
- Shotgun2
- Plasma Rifle1
- Vector Cannon, which shoots a reflective beam1
- Bazooka1
- The WASP Bazooka launches multiple missiles simultaneously2
- Goliath Launcher fires a metal ball, which it attracts back to the weapon through magnetism to fire again2
- Napalm launcher2
- Yoro Viper shoots electric attacks which runs along surfaces and can overload generators2
- Grenades1
- Breaks through a force field projector1
- Breaks through a small turret1
- Destroys a large, flying turret1
- Blows up the treads of a large siege machine1
- Destroys a barrel dispenser1
- Blows up a tank droid1
- Blows through rock to reveal a hidden passage1
- Blows up a military vehicle1
- Blows through a wall1
- Destroys notable amounts of stone2
- Destroys a thick barrier2
- Blows up a huge aerial war machine with repeated rocket shots1
Other Equipment
- Uses Biovision to scan for valuable information and weak points1
- Uses a parachute1
- Has iron boots, hurting enemies when he swings into them1
- Has a bulletproof vest1
- Has flares1
Other
- Fights and defeats someone who has similar bionic augmentations as Spencer1
- Acts without issue on a giant missile as it flies through the air2
Bionic Commando (2009)
Strength
Striking- Cracks before shattering reinforced glass
- Punches a robot in two
- Punches a terrorist across a room
- Pulls an enemy in before hitting them away
- Pulls himself in to an enemy to drop kick them a distance
- Punches crates into the air before striking them away
- Hits a forklift into the air before striking it away
- Strikes a car into the air before backhanding it away
- Can slam the ground after falling, creating a shockwave which hurts people around him
- Takes out a helmeted terrorist by slamming their head into a missile with his regular arm
- Tears off the head of a robot
- Pulls off two of a robot's wings, one with his bionic arm and another with his regular one
- Tears out a portion of a monorail car from the building it's embedded in
- Presumably pulls off the door of a mid-flight hoverjet
- Lifts enemies into the air and slams them down
- Throws a large rock, breaking a fragile cave wall
- Lifts and throws a boulder
- Lifts and throws cars through the air
- Pulls around a car
- Stabs through a robot with its own wing
- Cuts off a robot's arm and head with its own wing
Durability
- Blocks hits from a speedster bionic
- Dropped out of a jetC
- Takes several kicks in the face before dropping from a helicopter, falling an incredible distance to the ground, landing unconscious making it unlikely his boots could have taken the impact. He later awakens without notable injury
- Gets launched into a city through a missile
- Launched away from nearby missiles but grabs onto a nearby hoverjet to fool his attackers that he fell and died
Speed
- Hits away Joe's pistol pointing at his head before he can fire
- Blocks hits from a speedster bionic
- Avoids rotary gunfire and a missileC
Arm
- His hand swaps between being shaped like a regular hand and being a grappling claw at will
- Can extend, having a long reach and letting Spencer swing on objects
- The arm can grab onto flat surfaces, like the outside of buildings, and not just poles
- After building up adrenaline, can spin his arm cable around him like a whip, hitting enemies away
- Grabs onto an object to clothesline a speedster with its cable
- Can hack into machinery, deactivating nearby air mines and reading messages
- Projects a holographic screen for video callsC
- Is his wife
Weapons
- His base weapon is a small, automatic gun
- A shotgun
- A machine gun
- A sniper rifle
- A rocket launcher
- A grenade launcher
- Throwable grenades
Other
- His boots break his falls, allowing him to drop lethal distances without injury
- Will sink in water due to the weight of his arm
- Bionics, like his arm, are particularly sensitive to radiation
Marvel Vs. Capcom
Strength
- Cracks the ground coming in on his intro3
- Can hit and juggle enemies high in the air3
- Bounces an opponent off the ground before slamming them down with his grappling arm, cracking the ground both times3
- As a super move, tears up the ground while charging forwards with a punchI
- Pulls in and punches away an Ultron Sigma droneI
- Pulls in an Xgardian before throwing them awayI
Durability
- Has his arm grabbed by Ultron Sigma, who swings him up and then back to the groundI
- Blasted down by Ultron SigmaI
Arm
- Can continue to use his arm to pull himself towards walls or opponents, and to pull opponents towards him3
- Grabs a coupling from a distanceI
- Has the electricity of Avenger's Tower channelled through his arm to electrocute Ultron Sigma, though this takes him down for a while afterI
Other
Bionic Commando (Worlds of Power)
Chapter numbers are included in the feats.
Strength
- Can punch with the force of ten men
- Punches the first two people in a group of eight, knocking them all down
- Using iron boots, karate kicks a ten foot tall iron door, smashing it down
- Tears open a heavily barred door
- Tears off a giant octopus' tentacle
- Before getting his bionic arm, beats up some ninjas, kicking away one's sword, stunning them with a neck chop, then flipping another
Durability
- Survives falling twenty storeys into a swimming pool, but needs medical attention, as well as the amputation of his arm between the fall and the injury from a shuriken. He is unconscious for days after this fall
- Once got shot by four bullets intended for elephants, but it's unknown what state he was in after
- Withstood some kind of torture from Nazz agents, though what kind is never stated
Speed / Agility
- While under fire from Badd snipers, springs twenty feet across a room "just beating two bullets" to a safe spot
- Activates his arm as semi-automatic gunfire is shot at him, the arm reaching a building's second storey and pulling him out of the way of the bullets by inches
- Dodges a sniper bullet
- Evades an electronic ray
- Avoids a ninja's sword swing, flipping them in the air
Bionic Arm
- In the novel his arm is made of plastic, appears real at a glance, and releases a grappling hook by touching the palm
- Has two grappling hooks, the second one activated with a second press, which attaches to an opposite wall as the first one was. These two pull him out of the grasp of an octopus which was keeping hold with one grappling hook
- Can shoot a laser of almost a thousand degrees celsius, allowing him to evaporate a container of water by his hospital bed in an instant
- Can scramble electronic fields, allowing him to evade enemy monitoring devices while seemingly still allowing him to send his own messages
- The fingers are extremely sensitive, allowing the arm to be used to open safes and disarm bombs
- Creates a unique electromagnetic field that compels whoever it's pointed at to tell the truth
Weapons
- He starts off the book with only a pistol strapped in a holster on his chest
- Uses the wide gun to blow up robotic killer-copters
- Fires the rocket gun rapidly to blow up killer-copters
- The three-way gun shoots forwards, left, and right
- Disables four tanks with a machine gun
Skill
Combat- Along with Super Joe, senses that they're being watched by snipers and gets to the floor before they fire into their apartment
- Trained in martial arts with the federation
- Received training from ninja masters in swordfighting, and manages to take down some Badd ninjas
- At the beginning of the book, he's spent 10 years going on missions around the world with Super Joe, who he met in Federation spy school. Together, they've been on missions to Thailand and France
- In a mission in Argentina, he and Super Joe managed to locate and arrest all the leaders of the Nazz terrorist organization, though they weren't able to secure plans for a secret weapon called Albatros
- Saved Joe from some Nazz thugs, and apparently has saved him from many situations before
Helicopter
- Used a helicopter he could have hover and signal to pick him up from his location
- Can alternate between hovering and rapidly flying up at the push of a button of his transmitter, and quickly flies so far up that they'd need surface-to-air missiles to hit him
- Has an autopilot to fly to areas he chooses, as well as a medkit
- Alerts him to nearby hostiles
- Has an ejection seat which can automatically go off
Other
- Uses a flare bomb to reveal killer-copters flying towards him without lights at night
- A helmet he uses deflects a bullet
- The bulletproof vest has sniper bullets bounce off it
- Would never fire a gun against an enemy first
2023.04.01 03:18 Proletlariet Bionic Commando Backup
"Power is like a bionic upgrade. Anyone can get it, but it takes true wisdom to use it for good."
In the 1980s, 'Project Albatross' was discovered by the Imperial State, which are definitely not and have no relation to Nazis (so long as you're playing the game outside of Japan). While they try and enact the plan, the US-like Republic (already at war with the Imperial State) send the renown commando Super Joe behind enemy lines to try and bring a stop to it. He failed, getting captured. As such, a second commando was chosen to both carry on his original plan as well as to perform a one-man rescue mission: Nathan (or Rad) Spencer. But it wasn't just his skills, talents, and weaponry that allowed him to rescue Joe, put a stop to the Imperial State, and kill a reanimatedHitler Master-D. He had a bionic arm, which can grapple things. Beyond this base story, each different canon tells a different interpretation of events.
Every individual canon is listed separately below, with different sources within the same canon being tagged separately. Elements of the Rearmed games appear in the 2009 remake (characters introduced in Rearmed appear in 2009, Rearmed 2's ending lays out the public mistrust in bionics and Joe's betrayal of Spenser which is a key part in the remake), implying they may be in the same canon, but with the lack of direct confirmation on this as well as the radical difference between the games they are listed separately.
Feats marked '1' come from the first game, and feats marked '2' come from the sequel.
In Rearmed 2, Spencer can obtain a number of upgrades to grant his bionic arm extra abilities, though he can only have one active at a time.
Comic feats are tagged with 'C'.
Feats marked '3' are from Marvel vs. Capcom 3, and 'I' from Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite.
The Worlds of Power series was an collection of children's books based on popular NES games, with Bionic Commando closely following the plot and levels of the original. The protagonist of Bionic Commando is named Jack Markson, but as this was before there was an official name given to the character I'm including the book's feats in this thread.
Chapter numbers are included in the feats.
submitted by Proletlariet to u/Proletlariet [link] [comments]
In the 1980s, 'Project Albatross' was discovered by the Imperial State, which are definitely not and have no relation to Nazis (so long as you're playing the game outside of Japan). While they try and enact the plan, the US-like Republic (already at war with the Imperial State) send the renown commando Super Joe behind enemy lines to try and bring a stop to it. He failed, getting captured. As such, a second commando was chosen to both carry on his original plan as well as to perform a one-man rescue mission: Nathan (or Rad) Spencer. But it wasn't just his skills, talents, and weaponry that allowed him to rescue Joe, put a stop to the Imperial State, and kill a reanimated
Every individual canon is listed separately below, with different sources within the same canon being tagged separately. Elements of the Rearmed games appear in the 2009 remake (characters introduced in Rearmed appear in 2009, Rearmed 2's ending lays out the public mistrust in bionics and Joe's betrayal of Spenser which is a key part in the remake), implying they may be in the same canon, but with the lack of direct confirmation on this as well as the radical difference between the games they are listed separately.
Bionic Commando (NES)
Weapons
All weapons can break shield generators, large machines, and vehicles with repeat shots, unless a stronger weapon is used.- A regular gun
- A machine gun
- The wide gun shoots a spread of three projectiles
- The three-way shoots blasts either up, forward, and down
- The rocket launcher shoots forward powerful, piercing projectiles
- A hyper bazooka which destroys a large helicopter shooting through its cockpit
Arm
In this game, the bionic arm is a wrist-mounted device, rather than the entire arm.- Used to swing off of surfaces and pull himself up onto them
- Holds onto a flying helicopter while carrying another person
- Grabs items
- Spins it in a circle around him, deflecting a bullet
Other Equipment
- The medicine can be used to fully heal Spenser, and the iron boots allows him to kill enemies in melee
- The communicator allows for video calls with head command
- Uses the flare bomb to light up a dark cave
- The pendant deflects one projectile from hitting Spenser
- Can pick up power ups which have a ball of energy orbit him for a while
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Strength
- Smashes a large amount of stone blocks by slamming on them from a height2
- Can grab enemies and use them as human shields before throwing them aside1
- Throws a large barrel1
- Yanks apart stacked segments of a stone column1
- Yanks the bolts that connect a siege machine to its armor, making it fly back from the recoil1
Durability
- Falls down a large shaft in a cavern1
- Seemingly jumps out of a helicopter without a parachute1
- Is on a giant missile as it hits the ground, which failed to explode but still wrecked the surrounding area, and is unharmed2
- His arm "deflects most conventional enemy firepower"1
Speed
- Stated to be capable of blocking incoming gunfire with his arm2
- Whips a bullet out of the air with his grappling hook1
- Repeatedly catches rockets out of the air in a boss fight1
- Ducks under bullets in flight1
Arm
General- Can pull himself up to higher levels and swing from the ceiling1
- Can pull large objects towards himself1
- Can whip the grappling hook around as an attack1
- Access codes for doors can be uploaded to his arm1
In Rearmed 2, Spencer can obtain a number of upgrades to grant his bionic arm extra abilities, though he can only have one active at a time.
- Can make a powerful uppercut2
- A grenade launcher2
- Can be electrified to disable or stun foes2
- Hacking capabilities, allowing him to instantly cause a door to open2
- Can release drones which orbit around him, diving into and exploding on nearby threats2
- In Rearmed 2 he requires an upgrade to have his arm whip around him in a circle, with it being able to pass through walls while doing so2
Weapons
Types- Revolver1
- Machine Gun1
- Shotgun2
- Plasma Rifle1
- Vector Cannon, which shoots a reflective beam1
- Bazooka1
- The WASP Bazooka launches multiple missiles simultaneously2
- Goliath Launcher fires a metal ball, which it attracts back to the weapon through magnetism to fire again2
- Napalm launcher2
- Yoro Viper shoots electric attacks which runs along surfaces and can overload generators2
- Grenades1
- Breaks through a force field projector1
- Breaks through a small turret1
- Destroys a large, flying turret1
- Blows up the treads of a large siege machine1
- Destroys a barrel dispenser1
- Blows up a tank droid1
- Blows through rock to reveal a hidden passage1
- Blows up a military vehicle1
- Blows through a wall1
- Destroys notable amounts of stone2
- Destroys a thick barrier2
- Blows up a huge aerial war machine with repeated rocket shots1
Other Equipment
- Uses Biovision to scan for valuable information and weak points1
- Uses a parachute1
- Has iron boots, hurting enemies when he swings into them1
- Has a bulletproof vest1
- Has flares1
Other
- Fights and defeats someone who has similar bionic augmentations as Spencer1
- Acts without issue on a giant missile as it flies through the air2
Bionic Commando (2009)
Strength
Striking- Cracks before shattering reinforced glass
- Punches a robot in two
- Punches a terrorist across a room
- Pulls an enemy in before hitting them away
- Pulls himself in to an enemy to drop kick them a distance
- Punches crates into the air before striking them away
- Hits a forklift into the air before striking it away
- Strikes a car into the air before backhanding it away
- Can slam the ground after falling, creating a shockwave which hurts people around him
- Takes out a helmeted terrorist by slamming their head into a missile with his regular arm
- Tears off the head of a robot
- Pulls off two of a robot's wings, one with his bionic arm and another with his regular one
- Tears out a portion of a monorail car from the building it's embedded in
- Presumably pulls off the door of a mid-flight hoverjet
- Lifts enemies into the air and slams them down
- Throws a large rock, breaking a fragile cave wall
- Lifts and throws a boulder
- Lifts and throws cars through the air
- Pulls around a car
- Stabs through a robot with its own wing
- Cuts off a robot's arm and head with its own wing
Durability
- Blocks hits from a speedster bionic
- Dropped out of a jetC
- Takes several kicks in the face before dropping from a helicopter, falling an incredible distance to the ground, landing unconscious making it unlikely his boots could have taken the impact. He later awakens without notable injury
- Gets launched into a city through a missile
- Launched away from nearby missiles but grabs onto a nearby hoverjet to fool his attackers that he fell and died
Speed
- Hits away Joe's pistol pointing at his head before he can fire
- Blocks hits from a speedster bionic
- Avoids rotary gunfire and a missileC
Arm
- His hand swaps between being shaped like a regular hand and being a grappling claw at will
- Can extend, having a long reach and letting Spencer swing on objects
- The arm can grab onto flat surfaces, like the outside of buildings, and not just poles
- After building up adrenaline, can spin his arm cable around him like a whip, hitting enemies away
- Grabs onto an object to clothesline a speedster with its cable
- Can hack into machinery, deactivating nearby air mines and reading messages
- Projects a holographic screen for video callsC
- Is his wife
Weapons
- His base weapon is a small, automatic gun
- A shotgun
- A machine gun
- A sniper rifle
- A rocket launcher
- A grenade launcher
- Throwable grenades
Other
- His boots break his falls, allowing him to drop lethal distances without injury
- Will sink in water due to the weight of his arm
- Bionics, like his arm, are particularly sensitive to radiation
Marvel Vs. Capcom
Strength
- Cracks the ground coming in on his intro3
- Can hit and juggle enemies high in the air3
- Bounces an opponent off the ground before slamming them down with his grappling arm, cracking the ground both times3
- As a super move, tears up the ground while charging forwards with a punchI
- Pulls in and punches away an Ultron Sigma droneI
- Pulls in an Xgardian before throwing them awayI
Durability
- Has his arm grabbed by Ultron Sigma, who swings him up and then back to the groundI
- Blasted down by Ultron SigmaI
Arm
- Can continue to use his arm to pull himself towards walls or opponents, and to pull opponents towards him3
- Grabs a coupling from a distanceI
- Has the electricity of Avenger's Tower channelled through his arm to electrocute Ultron Sigma, though this takes him down for a while afterI
Other
Bionic Commando (Worlds of Power)
Chapter numbers are included in the feats.
Strength
- Can punch with the force of ten men
- Punches the first two people in a group of eight, knocking them all down
- Using iron boots, karate kicks a ten foot tall iron door, smashing it down
- Tears open a heavily barred door
- Tears off a giant octopus' tentacle
- Before getting his bionic arm, beats up some ninjas, kicking away one's sword, stunning them with a neck chop, then flipping another
Durability
- Survives falling twenty storeys into a swimming pool, but needs medical attention, as well as the amputation of his arm between the fall and the injury from a shuriken. He is unconscious for days after this fall
- Once got shot by four bullets intended for elephants, but it's unknown what state he was in after
- Withstood some kind of torture from Nazz agents, though what kind is never stated
Speed / Agility
- While under fire from Badd snipers, springs twenty feet across a room "just beating two bullets" to a safe spot
- Activates his arm as semi-automatic gunfire is shot at him, the arm reaching a building's second storey and pulling him out of the way of the bullets by inches
- Dodges a sniper bullet
- Evades an electronic ray
- Avoids a ninja's sword swing, flipping them in the air
Bionic Arm
- In the novel his arm is made of plastic, appears real at a glance, and releases a grappling hook by touching the palm
- Has two grappling hooks, the second one activated with a second press, which attaches to an opposite wall as the first one was. These two pull him out of the grasp of an octopus which was keeping hold with one grappling hook
- Can shoot a laser of almost a thousand degrees celsius, allowing him to evaporate a container of water by his hospital bed in an instant
- Can scramble electronic fields, allowing him to evade enemy monitoring devices while seemingly still allowing him to send his own messages
- The fingers are extremely sensitive, allowing the arm to be used to open safes and disarm bombs
- Creates a unique electromagnetic field that compels whoever it's pointed at to tell the truth
Weapons
- He starts off the book with only a pistol strapped in a holster on his chest
- Uses the wide gun to blow up robotic killer-copters
- Fires the rocket gun rapidly to blow up killer-copters
- The three-way gun shoots forwards, left, and right
- Disables four tanks with a machine gun
Skill
Combat- Along with Super Joe, senses that they're being watched by snipers and gets to the floor before they fire into their apartment
- Trained in martial arts with the federation
- Received training from ninja masters in swordfighting, and manages to take down some Badd ninjas
- At the beginning of the book, he's spent 10 years going on missions around the world with Super Joe, who he met in Federation spy school. Together, they've been on missions to Thailand and France
- In a mission in Argentina, he and Super Joe managed to locate and arrest all the leaders of the Nazz terrorist organization, though they weren't able to secure plans for a secret weapon called Albatros
- Saved Joe from some Nazz thugs, and apparently has saved him from many situations before
Helicopter
- Used a helicopter he could have hover and signal to pick him up from his location
- Can alternate between hovering and rapidly flying up at the push of a button of his transmitter, and quickly flies so far up that they'd need surface-to-air missiles to hit him
- Has an autopilot to fly to areas he chooses, as well as a medkit
- Alerts him to nearby hostiles
- Has an ejection seat which can automatically go off
Other
- Uses a flare bomb to reveal killer-copters flying towards him without lights at night
- A helmet he uses deflects a bullet
- The bulletproof vest has sniper bullets bounce off it
- Would never fire a gun against an enemy first
2023.04.01 02:42 Theumaz [Old School Review] 7.4KG CSSbuy Haul to The Netherlands - ONLYFANS, Essentials, Nike, Stone Island, Represent, Stussy & More random finds + Reviewing previous review
![[Old School Review] 7.4KG CSSbuy Haul to The Netherlands - ONLYFANS, Essentials, Nike, Stone Island, Represent, Stussy & More random finds + Reviewing previous review](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/0O7YN2CNY8MZMWqT3uXcyPF5jXbq5h3sDZiJA3qs9AY.jpg "[Old School Review] 7.4KG CSSbuy Haul to The Netherlands - ONLYFANS, Essentials, Nike, Stone Island, Represent, Stussy & More random finds + Reviewing previous review") | IntroductionWelcome (back) everyone,As some of you might remember; I recently posted my third haul and you guys LOVED it, and for that I am very grateful. I said there was another haul coming, and today is the day it arrived. If you are interested into my previous haul, please check it out HERE. I might be biased, but if you have some time it is definitely worth reading as I'll review my review a bit as well to set some things straight. You can find that in the comments. I'd like to state that if anyone has any questions regarding the items, shipping, my CSSbuy experience, general feedback/tips or anything like that then please shoot me a question in this topic and not in DM, I will not respond to those. I'll try to get back to you ASAP. Just make sure you have read the entire thread so I don't repeat myself like 20 times. You can also find me in a lot of the Rep discords: Spoontech#0001 About me
CSSbuyJust like the previous haul I used CSSbuy for this haul. Nothing really changed with my CSS experience so I'll just quote what I said last time about them.One last thing that I'd like to add is that CSSbuy has a new share option that creates links similar to the dreaded Pandabuy links. I'm not sure how Pandabuy works with its cancerous links, but if someone makes a purchase through said links the person who shared the initial link will earn a couple of Yuan. Therefore I WILL INCLUDE these (optional) links in my haul if you'd like to give some small support to me. I do these detailed reviews for free and I absolutely will continue doing that. The review will always be as brutally Dutch honest as I am and I will not hesitate to give something a negative review if I feel that this is deserved. If you like any of the stuff I included in my haul and want to buy it I would feel honored if you could use said CSSbuy link I provide. This (sort of I guess) helps me building next hauls for this community to enjoy. If you just want to use the regular W2C I will not care and I will appreciate you just as much as someone who did use the link. Edit: I'm currently writing my review and notice the first three/four items have a pretty high grade in my overall grading. This might be because I'm pretty picky when it comes to picking stuff price/quality ratio and that I'm already fairly satisfied with my items before they even arrived. I just wanted to write this as a disclaimer, do with it what you want to do. This is the second package I have built with CSSbuy. I lost my rep virginity with WeGoBuy (which I think is one of the best for beginners, even if shipping is more expensive), but switched to CSSbuy since then since I feel like I got the hang of the game fairly quick. The overall prices of CSSbuy are amazing, but I also know that they can be a bit sloppy at times. QC pictures can be pretty bad, getting in touch with your agent can be a bit rough and the UI simply lacks behind competitors. Shipping, Invoice & ParcelParcel stats
https://preview.redd.it/15u34ooz55ra1.png?width=3072&format=png&auto=webp&s=94c1c9f42c5e150bdd25d9fb56f44d041bdeff85 https://preview.redd.it/q39z1gx165ra1.png?width=1152&format=png&auto=webp&s=549a4780281bf44858fb215846c82dbb71e901b9 I was not home when this haul arrived and my curious family decided to open it already (I don't mind) so this is the only picture of the arrival I have unfortunately. Nevertheless the packaging looks just like how I would expect my package to be shipped. Good corner protection, tough to open, well wrapped and just well-protected overall. Good job CSSbuy and shipping lines for making sure everything arrived in good condition. Shipping line used: SAL Courier name: China EMS (ePacket) Transit day: March 12, 2023 (Sun) Delivery date: March 31, 2023 (Fri) Total days in transit: 19
Invoice:Nothing special really. Less than $12/kg, so it definitely is possible. I never do $12/kg though. HaulFinally we get to the moment you've all been waiting for. The haul. If I am missing anything, or you have some knowledge that I don't have and want to give me some feedback on the quality of certain pieces, please do not hesitate. A lot of these pieces were first-timers, and therefore I cannot give the best QC check to you guys. I am happy with my haul, but there are always improvements to be made or pointed out, don't hesitate.\The moment of truth is here: The haul. As I mentioned in my previous haul; I am not a good QC'er so don't treat me like one. Represent 'Eagle-print' T-shirt White W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: I like this tee. The print feels good and not really cheap. I expected it to be a bit looser but I'm definitely not complaining. I sized down on this tee and as you can see it fits me perfectly. The material is somewhat thick (not too thick you can't wear it on a warm day) and the stitching is perfectly fine but only time and a couple washes will tell how it holds up. For ¥76 I didn't expect THAT much, and my current verdict is that it easily passes the first test. I did notice a stain on the shirt on the (for me when I wear it) left side in the middle next to the eagle. It's in the washing machine's hands right now to fix this. Final grade: 6.8/10. Definitely not bad, if you have some space left for this in your haul this is a cop without much thought. Gallery Dept Car Drive Thru Tee Dark Grey ¥75.00 Size M 294g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: I've bought at Mystery seller before, and I am a happy Essentials customer of his. It's very cheap, but also pretty reliable (will get back at that later on). As I had a couple essentials pieces that were oversized I decided to size down on this one. Quite honestly this is probably the best for this product. It's pretty wide, while not being the longest. If I would've taken a Large I most likely would've drowned in this thing. The fleece is nice and warm. I do worry a bit about this color looking dirty quite quick, but only time will tell. Stitching is a bit of a mess, but there aren't a lot of loose hanging threads so I'm willing to turn a blind eye on that. The quarter zip goes pretty deep, but this is not a negative for me. I think it adds some character and allows for some nice styling. Like the previous shirt, I downsized on this so it wouldn't be too boxy. Personally I think I made the correct choice as I love the fitting of this tee. Again, the print feels very good for the price I paid. The stitching is the thing that impressed me the most. There's virtually not a single loose thread to be found which really impresses me. I absolutely love the simplicity of the front and the eye-turning backprint that'll make you go like this. The dark grey color of the tee is very nice as well. From some angles it'll look like a very dark brown, and in some you can see the charcoal-like color it actually has. Final grade: 7/10. When considering this tee was so little money, this is a must have as well if you're a fan of big and eyecatching backprints. Just like the previous one, definitely worth a spot in your next haul. One thing I did not like at first glance was the very 'Chinese factory'ish' smell this shirt had, so it's instantly thrown on the washing machine VIP list. Onlyfans T-shirt White ¥65.00 Size L 408g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: I saw this shirt pop up in the Freps discord and I instantly loved it. It's tacky, it's funny, it's a nice nod and on top of that it was pretty cheap too. I instantly bought the shirt and it's not only a super funny shirt but apparently the fans on the shirt speeds up the shipping too as it was in my warehouse in no time. Just like the GD tee the stitching on this shirt is very good too. I bought it as an L and again it fitted me perfectly. It's a bit looser than the previous two shirts but that makes it also a great option to have something like a hoodie, shirt or vest over it. Final grade: 9/10. A big part of this great grade is just because how much I like it because it's so damn hilarious, so the grade might (most likely is) be a bit skewed. The quality is very passable (I hesitate with using 'good' too much) though, but once again it has to face the washing machine test to find out about its true potential. Can't really go wrong for the price though. Doves T-shirt (unknown brand) Black ¥39.90 Size XXL 314g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: What a fucking banger this tee is. The print is of a high quality and contrasts so damn much on the black background it's almost like it sheds a beacon of light. I think I found this seller on a post here somewhere and goddamn he sells so many great lesser known designs. I double sized up on this shirt (not sure why as I can't find a size chart on the post) and if you want a similar fitting I recommend you doing the same. The quality definitely passes the first impression test too but we all know the washing machine story at this point so I'm not going to continue repeating myself. Final grade: 8/10. I'm in love with the print of this tee and it not really being a massively known brand (hell, I don't even know the brand) so it doesn't have potential to be super a super corny hypebeast tee. Stussy Logo Cap White ¥18.00 Size N/A 95g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: It's a hat. It's Stussy. It fits my head. The stitching doesn't look like it'll fall apart any time soon. There isn't really much to say about this hat. If you like hats it can be a nice addition to your haul as it weights and costs next to nothing. One thing I'm not a massive (only)fan of is that you can't hide the strap. But hey, it's a fucking 18 yuan hat. Final grade: 7/10. I am not gonna say a lot about it. It's a fucking hat, how good/bad can it get? Essentials Crewneck Khaki/Tan ¥57.00 Size L 528g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: Some of you might remember I bought this exact item in my last haul but somehow Essentials has the weirdest fittings of all brands. Some items are TTS, some fit small and some fit large. I made the mistake of buying an M last time, and this time I made the correct choice: Large. I'm a big fan of the color and fleece materials as it'll definitely keep me warm during those cold rainy western-European days in the spring. Final grade: 7/10. Last time I gave a 6/10 because of the annoying sizing (which was partially my fault), but this time it fits exactly how I like it. I can't promise I won't buy more of these. Stone Island Sherpa Jacket/Vest (FANTASY) Cream (Off-white) & Green hints ¥128.00 Size L 770g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: I'm fairly sure the 'original' is a Carhartt sherpa but this one has SI tags and a (horrible) badge. Thankfully I am a very smart man who has some Topstoney badges to fix that. I am very impressed to say the least. The inner fleece is giga warm and the bottom/wrist has some elastic viber in it that stretches very easily and gets back into its original position too (reminder: I wore this thing for like 5 minutes at best and it is absolutely possible this 'good' elastic turns into a wet used condom that won't get back into its original shape if I wear it enough). Like I said before the SI badge is absolutely horrible so definitely get yourself a Topstoney badge if you want this item. I could have gone with a larger size I think but not every jacket of mine has to be oversized so I can absolutely live with the fact that it doesn't cover my tiny cock when wearing. The fleece part around the neck is a tiny bit tight for me, but I don't really plan on ever fully zipping it anyways so I don't mind. Final grade: 6.5/10. I think it's too early to give a proper rating as I need to wear this outside to truly test its warmth and how easily it stains. I ordered another one too but the seller sent the wrong color and after returning it I couldn't bother ordering another one, so keep in mind the seller MIGHT also send you the wrong color. Adidas Yeezy Slide Onyx ¥59 Size 45 715g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: I already have the 'Bone' colorway of these slides which I'm pretty sure are from the same seller. That gave me a nice baseline to compare as I wear those damn things in my house every day. The first thing I noticed was the smell of them that basically Chez Pierred my entire living room. There is a tiny problem with that though. I do love Chez Pierre perfumes (I own three, which I all love. You can ask me about them if you want), but I did not love the foul chemical smell of these slides. But that Yighury slave factory smell will wear off so it won't affect my grading too much. As with the Bone slides, they start off pretty stiff. Something I did not encounter with the real deal if I remember correctly. But alright, that's just the rep game init. One thing I did notice is that even though they're the same slides these feel a bit more snug than the bone variant. From what I've heard is that Adidas played a bit around with the slides so that could be an explaination. They're also definately smaller than my bone slides, but they we're like 1-2cm too long for me so that isn't excactly a negative. Keep that in mind though if you'd like to purchase these and have prior experience with rep Yeezy slides. Final grade: 6.5/10. I'll wear them a lot. They're super cheap, they're (hopefully) gonna break in quick and give me as much comfort as the Bone slides have been doing. If that happens, easy 7/10. If you buy them, drop the damn box. Nike Air Presto x Off-White 'The Ten' OWF Black ¥290.00 Size 44 1043g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: I had these in my warehouse already during the time of the previous haul. I wanted some good shoes that I could carelessly use as a beater which preferably was black (the only other 'black' pairs I got are a cheap rep Panda Dunk, Coconut Patta's (real), Mini Swoosh Bred's (real) and the NYC Chinatown's (real). Those last three will NOT be used as a beater, and those Panda reps are pretty meh comfort wise. Presto time it is. As far as I'm aware this is the best batch of them so I just yolo'd the trigger. Upon arrival I switched the laces to orange and I just wore them to the gym. They are indeed comfortable. I can totally understand this shoe isn't to everyone their liking though. I still have to get used to it a bit too and I am fully aware that with certain pants this shoe is gonna look like terrible if you care about that. On one of the orange laces the cringe "Shoelaces" part had a small scuff in the text, but I'm not cringe so I don't care about that. Comfort wise I like this shoe, and it feels pretty breathable too. I am basically calling this a slightly less comfortable Yeezy 700 v1. I'm not sure about any potential flaws on this shoe so please point stuff out to me if you notice something. Final grade: 6.5/10. I still have to get used to the silhouette. Feels good on the foot though. Nike Air Jordan x Cactus Jack PK Reverse Mocha ¥430.00 Size 44 1433g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: If you loose lace you're a nonce. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. If you want comfort, don't get a Jordan 1 (low), but that's basically common knowledge nowadays. What isn't common knowledge is what the best batch for these is. I chose PK batch as there's a general consensus this is at least a top 3 reverse mocha batch on the market right now. I'm not going to nitpick every difference between the batches as I am A. Not someone who cares and B. Not knowledgeable enough. I really like the colors of this shoe (even though I wasn't a fan at first). These also came with a pretty overwhelming glue smell so I am airing these out as we speak. Near the sole you can spot some glue stains too. On the Travis Scott face on the back I can see a small scuff, so keep an eye out if you don't want that. Final grade: 7/10. I'm not going to wear these every day, but to some occasions they might actually be very nice and I'm glad I got these. Goyard 'Saint Sulpice' Card Holders Light Blue - Yellow - Blue ¥35 each Size N/A 300g (all) W2C WAREHOUSE 'Light Blue' WAREHOUSE 'Yellow' WAREHOUSE 'Blue' IN HAND CSSlink Review: Most of the new people probably don't know about this absolute 2021 Fashionreps staple. If this wasn't in your haul, your haul was shit. I already have one of these in another colorway and I haven't used my regular wallet since. It's durable (enough), holds plenty of cards, can hold some cash and is tiny enough to fit in your pocket easily. Absolute gem of an item and a true Fashionreps icon. Now the rest of my family has one too that they can use. Final grade: 9/10. I hate thick and bulky wallets (it's bulky because of all the money we 'save' by buying reps right?), and this thing simply is the perfect solution to that. You wouldn't ever want to get something else. Card holders are the GOAT. Changes to previous haul reviewIn this chapter I will go a bit more into detail of some items I bought in my last haul. This way you guys can get a better and more true review, as things tend to change with time. Essentials Quarter-Zip Fleece Sweater Charcoal ¥79.00 Size M 585g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: I've bought at Mystery seller before, and I am a happy Essentials customer of his. It's very cheap, but also pretty reliable (will get back at that later on. As I had a couple essentials pieces that were oversized I decided to size down on this one. Quite honestly this is probably the best for this product. It's pretty wide, while not being the longest. If I would've taken a Large I most likely would've drowned in this thing. The fleece is nice and warm. I do worry a bit about this color looking dirty quite quick, but only time will tell. Stitching is a bit of a mess, but there aren't a lot of loose hanging threads so I'm willing to turn a blind eye on that. The quarter zip goes pretty deep, but this is not a negative for me. I think it adds some character and allows for some nice styling.) Bonus points for the seller being a pretty quick shipper. What changed? I feel like the material could've been a bit stretchier as it can sometimes feel a bit of a hassle to get it on/off, and I will definitely recommend going true to size. Final grade: 7.2/10. Supreme Nike Arc Corduroy Hooded Jacket Black ¥285.00 Size XL 1148g W2C WAREHOUSE FIT IN HAND CSSlink Review: This is the item I was looking forward to the most. I was doubting about the sizing at first, but decided to go with an XL because I'd rather have a jacket be a teeny bit longer and more spacious in case I want to have some layers under it. This was ultimately the right choice. As seen on the pictures, the jacket fits very well, so I would definitely recommend a SIZE UP if you're planning to buy this. As one of the more expensive pieces in this multiple-part haul I think it is fair to have high expectations of the piece. The padding inside the jacket actually surprised me with the amount of warmth it gives. This piece was intended as a good in between jacket for mild spring days, but if dressed according to the weather I think this will keep you warm at pretty 'warm' (let's say 5+ degrees Celcius winter days if you put some layers under it. The stitching also looks very fine (correct me if I'm wrong), and the zippers give me a good feeling at first glance too. Like with every zipped jacket you have to learn how to zip it correctly, which gave me some issues the first time I wore it. I think this is a me-issue though, but I might come back to that. The Supreme print also looks very good and accurate (to pictures I am checking during this review). Overall the quality definitely matches the expectations.) I promised you guys a windproof test and here it is. When it's really cold, this jacket won't keep you THAT warm and you must consider that when picking layers underneath it. Since it's a corduroy the wind gets through somewhat easily and can catch you by surprise if you're not prepared. When wearing a good hoodie underneath the wind blowing through this jacket isn't a massive problem though. Final grade: 8.2/10. Slightly in the middle of my previous grade. It's a very cool jacket and does the job perfectly. FinallyThis is my 2nd 'old school review' on Fashionreps and I have tried to write it was as much honesty and passion as I could. I'm very satisfied with this haul as it included some pieces that are perfect for the upcoming couple of seasons. I have a couple items laying in a Basetao warehouse which I will probably ship in a couple of months, but unless it's another big haul (or I get a lot of requests) I most likely will not post that one as the items I have got in that haul so far aren't super impressive.I am most definitely happy with the result of this haul, especially the sleeper picks like the Onlyfans tee or the Doves tee. The price-quality ratio is definitely great and I feel these picks are pretty unique. CSS will remain the agent of my choice, but I am definitely willing to test out others like Basetao. SAL was a bit slower than last time which surprised me, but 19 days is still solid enough for me to keep considering SAL. It could've been at least 3-4 days less if it wasn't 'stuck' in Dutch customs. That's it for now. Up until next time. |
2023.04.01 01:32 jameskilgour 'Round the Drain - Part 1
Eina broke through the surface of the water, barely able see for the mist clogging up her mask and the wide pitch-black cavern gaping in front of her, dimly lit by their headtorches. After a handful of futile attempts to wipe down her goggles, she ripped it off and clipped the damned thing onto her belt. Good timing too, considering the razor tentacle whipping out of the water towards her jugular. She threw herself aside, grazing her elbow on the cave wall and giving what she hoped would come across as a warning shout but likely was more of a frightened yelp.
Her squad leaped into action, Rum throwing a patronising arm over her shoulder and forcing her into a sprint. Marrow let loose a handful of blind blaster shots into the darkness.
“While I would rather you be fish food than me, Marrow, I suggest less shooting and more running,” Kystagg said with a grimace, already pulling ahead of the pack.
Eina did not dare spare a glance back to see what was chasing the four of them, she’d have plenty of time to do that later when she was digesting inside its stomach if she got caught. Or stomachs…
That cheery thought was chased by a snap at her squadmate, “Kystagg, would you be a dear and get those fucking lights on?”.
She answered by the furious but futile flicking of a switch. Darkness remained.
Eina pressed forward, blindly willing herself forward. Engulfing darkness, scrambling blind against a cave wall, hyperventilating over comms and some giant fuck-off monster at their heels. Not quite what she had in mind when she signed up to become a bounty-hunter but life was full of little surprises. Rarely good ones, in her experience.
The scrape of chitin on rock some way overhead alerted her to the fact that a) the whatever-the-fuck was closing on them and b) the cavern had gotten bigger. Eina broke her attention from the tiny spot of light illuminated in front of her and couldn’t help sparing a glance into the darkness, though it was as useless as she had anticipated. She turned back only to launch herself out of the path of a sweeping tentacle. Her torchlight rested on it just long enough to illuminate the glass-like armour, a hint of what looked like engravings or hieroglyphs scrawled onto the flesh beneath the crystal. They were in the right place then.
A throaty howl echoed from in front and Eina had trouble telling whether it was Kystagg or whatever scrabble of winged creatures that had descended upon her. A clatter. She had dropped it. Shit.
Marrow let out a long string of rare and exotic curses as he swiveled tried the age old tactic of spraying uselessly into the darkness again. Miraculously, it had the same effect as before. Jack shit.
Eina swung her headtorch around wildly, praying that she could see the lightswitch ahead of her but not daring to drop the pace. Scrambling blindly into the darkness, the hands of her wetsuit grasped at loose stone as she felt her way forward. Something slimed into her grip and she suppressed the urge to scream. She’d missed the switch. Hadn’t she?
There. A brief glance to her side and her headtorch light glinted from a small metal ball.
Guess it was all down to her again, but that was hardly anything new. She threw herself off the wall and rolled laterally onto the lightswitch, snatching it into her grip.
A growl emanated from the blackness behind her and she felt the air crunch as a tentacle missed her by an inch. Giving the silver ball a shake and damning the thing to every hell she could think of she pressed it.
The cavern burst into a brilliant golden glow, bathing ancient rose walls, littered with carvings, melting with time. Hieroglyphs matching the one scratched into the creature’s flesh adorned every wall. Dark openings lined every level of rock, the ancient city still watching out on the action below. Had it not been for the present circumstances, even Eina might have been impressed. The creature thrashed around temporarily blinded, launching out an array of untargeted attacks. Eina did not wait about for it to regain its senses and renewed her effort to catch up with the rest of the group.
Crack. Something latched itself around Eina’s ankle. The world fell beneath her as she crunched onto the tiled cave floor. She was tugged back agonizingly quickly, but she had enough wherewithal to whip her machete from its guard and hack into flesh. It took a couple of swings to free herself from the diamond incrusted whip, but it broke with a moan.
Eina wheeled round to face the beast and immediately wished she hadn’t. In the light, the creature did not look to dissimilar to a slug, if said slug was as big as a small spacecraft; was suspended by an uncountable number of crystalline crab-like legs; and was swaddled in a mass of mucus-dripping tentacles that occasionally lashed out violently from its crystalline chassis. The markings on its pale white skin had become all the more clearer in the artificial light, identical to the script that plastered every stone and statue in the cavern. Another defining characteristic which differentiated the beast from a garden-variety slug was the unclosing, gaping maw lined with a ring of eyeballs and brimming with rows upon rows of small teeth and Fizzments, various previous meals in various states of digestion and decomposition still clinging around its throat. Charming.
A small opening jutted out from beneath a particularly peeved looking old king with half an arm lying it his feet. “Over there”, Marrow said, redundantly, but the party had already began to bolt for the hole. The scraping of glass legs on the cave floor and a loud crash behind her made her all too aware that the beast had regained its senses.
From some way ahead, Kystagg was as witty as ever, “Are you done seeing the sights now Eina, or would you like us to wait for you in the shuttle?”
Eina ducked beneath another jagged glass tip of the tentacles, “You know, I think I’ve had my share of excitement for a day. Let’s get what we came for and get out of here”. She considered taking a few more pot shots at the thing now that it was in the light but had no idea where she had to shoot it to make it bleed and thought better of it.
As Eina burst through the opening and into the darkness, Rum let out an audible sigh, “You’re still focused on picking up that tech even if it means you’re lunch?”
Eina was suddenly serious, “Not one of you is leaving this shit-hole planet until I get it, understand?” she said roughly. Eina pretended she didn’t hear Rum’s muttered response and began to push on into the cave system, the wide street now substituted for a suffocating cavern. Even Eina had to crook her neck to avoid the ceiling, Rum was practically on all fours at points.
The adrenaline had abandoned Eina and left her with an oppressive, muggy air baking down on her and a desparation for a fresh breeze. Most of the squad had set aside their masks and zipped down their wetsuits, with the exception of Rum, who was as buttoned up as ever. No one felt much like talking, let alone trying to lighten the mood after that snide remark. Great job leading the team, Captain.
Venus trotted alongside her, wearing a summer dress and loose hanging blonde hair. “Well I for one believe in you captain”, her eyes twinkled even in the low light as she performed a mock salute with the grace and poise of a practiced militiawoman. Hearing voices and seeing ghosts now Eina. Always a good sign of a well adjusted individual, capable of leading a team.
Eina noticed Kystagg glance down at the radar on her wrist for the first time since entering these caves.
“We’re well off course, captain, but there should still be a route through that can get us to the bounty and through the ancient waterworks to avoid… whatever the hell that thing was, if these old maps are anything to go by,”
“The precursors were not exactly ones to skimp on details,” Rum said, “if the cave is intact then the map is correct,”
The party came to an abrupt halt as Marrow let out a sigh, “Funny story on that one chief,”
“Shite. Path to the tech is blocked, the only route forward takes us straight into the waterworks. There’ll be no way from there but open ocean.” Kystagg muttered.
Eina kicked a rock and immediately regretted it. She slumped down and thought.
Marrow started to placate her but Rum knew better than to try, “I don’t see any other option, we can’t go backwards. We still have a nice haul of artefacts we can sling from the dive down…”
“We go back,” Eina said.
Every other member of the team had various methods of expressing their disapproval. Kystagg shouted a few choice words; Marrow looked on the verge of tears and Rum just shook his head.
“We go back. Marrow and I will take on the beast while the two of you plant charges at the waterworks. After that we just have to survive the flood, make our way to the emptied waterworks and we’re out and a million marks richer each.”
“You’ll bring the whole place down on us, you mad bitch,” Marrow started, incredulously before catching Rum’s overprotective glare. She always hated when he did that.
“A controlled charge should break down enough of the barriers without compromising the integrity of the structure.”
“You’ll destroy countless ancient monuments, some of this city has been standing for thousands of years,” Rum said, rubbing his forehead in exasperation.
“Cry about it to your brimming bank account when we bring back this tech to the mob. Or to your broken knee caps and missing teeth if we return empty handed. We go back.”
“I can’t let you go. I should be the one to…” Kystagg began before realising the answer to her own comment and thinking better of it. “What I mean to say is, good luck captain”.
submitted by jameskilgour to createthisworld [link] [comments]
Her squad leaped into action, Rum throwing a patronising arm over her shoulder and forcing her into a sprint. Marrow let loose a handful of blind blaster shots into the darkness.
“While I would rather you be fish food than me, Marrow, I suggest less shooting and more running,” Kystagg said with a grimace, already pulling ahead of the pack.
Eina did not dare spare a glance back to see what was chasing the four of them, she’d have plenty of time to do that later when she was digesting inside its stomach if she got caught. Or stomachs…
That cheery thought was chased by a snap at her squadmate, “Kystagg, would you be a dear and get those fucking lights on?”.
She answered by the furious but futile flicking of a switch. Darkness remained.
Eina pressed forward, blindly willing herself forward. Engulfing darkness, scrambling blind against a cave wall, hyperventilating over comms and some giant fuck-off monster at their heels. Not quite what she had in mind when she signed up to become a bounty-hunter but life was full of little surprises. Rarely good ones, in her experience.
The scrape of chitin on rock some way overhead alerted her to the fact that a) the whatever-the-fuck was closing on them and b) the cavern had gotten bigger. Eina broke her attention from the tiny spot of light illuminated in front of her and couldn’t help sparing a glance into the darkness, though it was as useless as she had anticipated. She turned back only to launch herself out of the path of a sweeping tentacle. Her torchlight rested on it just long enough to illuminate the glass-like armour, a hint of what looked like engravings or hieroglyphs scrawled onto the flesh beneath the crystal. They were in the right place then.
A throaty howl echoed from in front and Eina had trouble telling whether it was Kystagg or whatever scrabble of winged creatures that had descended upon her. A clatter. She had dropped it. Shit.
Marrow let out a long string of rare and exotic curses as he swiveled tried the age old tactic of spraying uselessly into the darkness again. Miraculously, it had the same effect as before. Jack shit.
Eina swung her headtorch around wildly, praying that she could see the lightswitch ahead of her but not daring to drop the pace. Scrambling blindly into the darkness, the hands of her wetsuit grasped at loose stone as she felt her way forward. Something slimed into her grip and she suppressed the urge to scream. She’d missed the switch. Hadn’t she?
There. A brief glance to her side and her headtorch light glinted from a small metal ball.
Guess it was all down to her again, but that was hardly anything new. She threw herself off the wall and rolled laterally onto the lightswitch, snatching it into her grip.
A growl emanated from the blackness behind her and she felt the air crunch as a tentacle missed her by an inch. Giving the silver ball a shake and damning the thing to every hell she could think of she pressed it.
The cavern burst into a brilliant golden glow, bathing ancient rose walls, littered with carvings, melting with time. Hieroglyphs matching the one scratched into the creature’s flesh adorned every wall. Dark openings lined every level of rock, the ancient city still watching out on the action below. Had it not been for the present circumstances, even Eina might have been impressed. The creature thrashed around temporarily blinded, launching out an array of untargeted attacks. Eina did not wait about for it to regain its senses and renewed her effort to catch up with the rest of the group.
Crack. Something latched itself around Eina’s ankle. The world fell beneath her as she crunched onto the tiled cave floor. She was tugged back agonizingly quickly, but she had enough wherewithal to whip her machete from its guard and hack into flesh. It took a couple of swings to free herself from the diamond incrusted whip, but it broke with a moan.
Eina wheeled round to face the beast and immediately wished she hadn’t. In the light, the creature did not look to dissimilar to a slug, if said slug was as big as a small spacecraft; was suspended by an uncountable number of crystalline crab-like legs; and was swaddled in a mass of mucus-dripping tentacles that occasionally lashed out violently from its crystalline chassis. The markings on its pale white skin had become all the more clearer in the artificial light, identical to the script that plastered every stone and statue in the cavern. Another defining characteristic which differentiated the beast from a garden-variety slug was the unclosing, gaping maw lined with a ring of eyeballs and brimming with rows upon rows of small teeth and Fizzments, various previous meals in various states of digestion and decomposition still clinging around its throat. Charming.
A small opening jutted out from beneath a particularly peeved looking old king with half an arm lying it his feet. “Over there”, Marrow said, redundantly, but the party had already began to bolt for the hole. The scraping of glass legs on the cave floor and a loud crash behind her made her all too aware that the beast had regained its senses.
From some way ahead, Kystagg was as witty as ever, “Are you done seeing the sights now Eina, or would you like us to wait for you in the shuttle?”
Eina ducked beneath another jagged glass tip of the tentacles, “You know, I think I’ve had my share of excitement for a day. Let’s get what we came for and get out of here”. She considered taking a few more pot shots at the thing now that it was in the light but had no idea where she had to shoot it to make it bleed and thought better of it.
As Eina burst through the opening and into the darkness, Rum let out an audible sigh, “You’re still focused on picking up that tech even if it means you’re lunch?”
Eina was suddenly serious, “Not one of you is leaving this shit-hole planet until I get it, understand?” she said roughly. Eina pretended she didn’t hear Rum’s muttered response and began to push on into the cave system, the wide street now substituted for a suffocating cavern. Even Eina had to crook her neck to avoid the ceiling, Rum was practically on all fours at points.
The adrenaline had abandoned Eina and left her with an oppressive, muggy air baking down on her and a desparation for a fresh breeze. Most of the squad had set aside their masks and zipped down their wetsuits, with the exception of Rum, who was as buttoned up as ever. No one felt much like talking, let alone trying to lighten the mood after that snide remark. Great job leading the team, Captain.
Venus trotted alongside her, wearing a summer dress and loose hanging blonde hair. “Well I for one believe in you captain”, her eyes twinkled even in the low light as she performed a mock salute with the grace and poise of a practiced militiawoman. Hearing voices and seeing ghosts now Eina. Always a good sign of a well adjusted individual, capable of leading a team.
Eina noticed Kystagg glance down at the radar on her wrist for the first time since entering these caves.
“We’re well off course, captain, but there should still be a route through that can get us to the bounty and through the ancient waterworks to avoid… whatever the hell that thing was, if these old maps are anything to go by,”
“The precursors were not exactly ones to skimp on details,” Rum said, “if the cave is intact then the map is correct,”
The party came to an abrupt halt as Marrow let out a sigh, “Funny story on that one chief,”
“Shite. Path to the tech is blocked, the only route forward takes us straight into the waterworks. There’ll be no way from there but open ocean.” Kystagg muttered.
Eina kicked a rock and immediately regretted it. She slumped down and thought.
Marrow started to placate her but Rum knew better than to try, “I don’t see any other option, we can’t go backwards. We still have a nice haul of artefacts we can sling from the dive down…”
“We go back,” Eina said.
Every other member of the team had various methods of expressing their disapproval. Kystagg shouted a few choice words; Marrow looked on the verge of tears and Rum just shook his head.
“We go back. Marrow and I will take on the beast while the two of you plant charges at the waterworks. After that we just have to survive the flood, make our way to the emptied waterworks and we’re out and a million marks richer each.”
“You’ll bring the whole place down on us, you mad bitch,” Marrow started, incredulously before catching Rum’s overprotective glare. She always hated when he did that.
“A controlled charge should break down enough of the barriers without compromising the integrity of the structure.”
“You’ll destroy countless ancient monuments, some of this city has been standing for thousands of years,” Rum said, rubbing his forehead in exasperation.
“Cry about it to your brimming bank account when we bring back this tech to the mob. Or to your broken knee caps and missing teeth if we return empty handed. We go back.”
“I can’t let you go. I should be the one to…” Kystagg began before realising the answer to her own comment and thinking better of it. “What I mean to say is, good luck captain”.
2023.03.31 22:52 SnowRemedy TimeLines... ManLines... Blah blah blah F.G.F.
This is REALLY LONG. If you just want to know the numbers, here they are. If you want some detail, read the entire document.
THE MEN
13 ¾…Tatted something in TN – Just visited – no whoopee.
2021 March to June She has a "platform" - what is it really??? Drinking, crying. lip syncing, Ranking, flirting, playing word games with a cheater app? GRWM as I sit around and drink beer and cry
Somewhere between the time she got on TT and met Nathan, she met her "Best Friend" who has kept telling her she is picking losers. She ignores him every time. I think she blocked him recently. He has not been around. Maybe he got smart!! I like him and respect him enough not to blast his name here. He surfaced the again after she broke up with #7. There is a lot of speculation about them having a physical relationship. Can't be substantiated, I'm not adding it.
Mar 2021 There was her TT Crush - Nathan - mutual not a thing - clout for her for sure - I sat there watching them cuddle and as the number of her followers rose higher and higher. Always use #FYP, It was her first viral video.
April or May 2021 then the dude in PA with false teeth - Rusty he drank as much or maybe more than her! It was not a good relationship. She drove up to see him twice, he drove to her once (with his son) and that is when they broke up. She insinuated he was abusive towards her and she demanded he leave. They spent a lot of time on their own Lives complaining about the other. He has since fallen onto really hard times. (9/21/2022 living in his car)
June'ish 2021- Several nights after breaking up with Rusty, she was drunker than she had probably ever been on a Live. There were teenagers across the street in the park, playing on the swings that had a terrible squeal. The squeal was so bad you could hear it over the Live. Josh came to rescue her from the abuse of the teenage boys. She called the police on them, and she stood in the middle of her street, drunk off her ass, telling the police she could not tell them the address because "she was live on TT with over 1000 viewers". Josh lived about 1/2 a mile down the street from her and he heard all the stuff happening on the police scanner. When they talked the kids into apologizing and going home, she invited him in for a beer and a "Movie" at 2am. All she had was warm beer.
A couple of weeks later FGF moved into his house with all most all her stuff and her son who was living with her at the time. (She had to keep her apartment because the lease was not up until February 2022) He really enjoyed the time he spent with all her kids. Made cute happy videos with them. He bought groceries and cooked FGF's favorite meat (rib eye) on the grill with her older daughter. He grew to have a special bond with the older daughter. He gave her attention, talked to her like a parent would and generally was a good example of what an adult should be. Josh got FGF the nose piercing she desperately wanted so she could be like all the other TT Creators.
Poor guy, it was down hill from there. Anyone remember the night FGF got super wasted and vomited Taco Bell all over his computer room? She pressure washed HIM on Live instead of the side of the house and DID NOT apologize. She laughed and thought it was funny. Eventually he got smart. Tired of her being drunk all the time. Told her to leave. He called the police on her because she would not leave. She whined and complained that he would not help her move her things back to her apartment.
((Shortly after they broke up, he married some woman (with children) he met on TT. She left him several months later. Last I saw him online he was with another really cute girl. Wonder how long that will last. Poor guy, I think he just wanted to be a father. - 9/2022 He apparently is off TT, which is good for him. His FB page is still active. (edited)))
August 2021'ish There was Daniel from Denver who seemed to be a nice guy, but turned into a really angry man (her story/perspective). Her cult paid for their vacation to Florida where they fell in love. After the vacation, she could not wait to see him so she flew to Denver. This is where they decided he would move to WV. He was supposed to move there around Thanksgiving.
They decided he would move to WV sooner. The would look for a larger place, but in the mean time they would live with her in her nasty 1 (2?) bedroom with his two dogs, He didn't give them proper vet care (which made me really mad). The squad contributed money so they could pay for the move. During the time he was there, he never really held a job, he drank beer and smoked all day. Got money from her to pay for it. While she was actually working a 12 hour day. That turned into a HUGE drama with police, pods and puppies. Anyone remember her laying on the couch with the “cold sore” blaming it on the stress of the drive from Colorado.
*Update- I left out the part where she wrecked his car. He tried to get her to pay for it and she said "F NO!" He left her and went to Iowa to see his "daughter" who was an ex's daughter, who was not even an ex. But, apparently was an ex. He left his dogs at FGF's house and one of them, poor guy had a bad ear issue. Made me even more angry. People offered to pay the vet bill and he still didn't take him until the poor dog was crying in pain. She blames Dan for nude photos of her being spread all over TT and other places. He has since moved on, has a new attractive adult woman in his life. Sadly he had to put 2 dogs down, I don’t know if they are the same ones, but that is never anything you wish on anyone.
Nov/ Dec 2021 The dude in Nashville “Dusty” who couldn't carry a tune but had all of TT convinced he was a real singer, had big bucks and a pending recording contract.
She drove from WV to Nashville to meet him at the hotel where he was a night auditor. She and Dusty went to "play hotel" while he left his friend watching the front desk. (He said in one of her lives while she was crying over one of her many men "I might as well shoot my shot"
In December he held a M & G in Nashville for her fans and his fans. They charged people to attend. They both got so drunk they had to leave and they drove the wrong way on the freeway.
This is also where she left her children with a woman she had never met in person. It is also where she met sweet Sarah in person and hoodwinked her into thinking she was really her friend. ((2022) Some people think that Sarah has become just like FGF. If she has it is because people have shown her how easily they can be duped into giving away their money to people they do not know)
She (FGF) and Dusty crashed and burned after NYE 2022. She was angry and drank and cried and drank and cried… She then began her search for the next man. Don't forget Dusty wrote a song for her. Nighttime Lifetime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6_8LfvJS3M (9/2022 Dusty posts video sobbing about losing THE ONE, the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rumor has it he did her wrong too)
Dec 2021 – Christmas - Oh, and let's not forget Troy who paid her $200 and bought her a new Christmas tree in return for some nudes. Also, "The Squad" gathered $ to get her Jeep fixed in November /December and bought all her kids Christmas presents. Roxanne even bought her a KitchenAid Stand Mixer in her favorite color. This gift was appx $500/$600 depending on where it was purchased. (edited)
2022 January - February
January 2022 was filled with crying, drinking, man bashing and flirting... She blasted Dusty let everyone know how terrible he really was. She told her squad ALL about how Dusty did her wrong, used her for bail money, about his arrest and secret family.
February 2022 - Derrick – almost immediately after breaking up with Dusty, she fell in LOVE with Derrick before even meeting him. She flew to Houston to meet him. He had to drive 4 hours from Lake Charles LA. to pick her up from the airport and when the visit was over, another 4 to take her back. Which was the longer drive? They seemed ok the first night. The 2nd night they wer drunk. The 3rd night she went home. She had to get back to work. She was still a working as an RN then,
When Derrick broke up with her, he said he was 100% catfished. She was very, very dramatic about it, she made FB and TT posts referencing “un-aliving” herself, clearly she didn't do it. I am not adding all the info in this section because it references her son. She did delete the posts on TT and on FB. During her visit, She got a matching heart tattoo with a fishing hook on it, with D (He has since has his covered up)). This turned into the most toxic of all her breakups (so far).
**Update - It was brought to my attention I left out the HP drama. I'm leaving it out of here. this is mostly for her "man drama" someone else can document that.
2022 THE EXTRA MEN - *Update - After Derrick she strung along a lot of "innocents ". Except I think they just wanted a piece of a$$ and to live in her clout bubble.
Mr Kentucky 1 – Kyle They were going to meet and then they weren’t. She blocked him and told her squad, “we are not going to talk about him”. It turns out that he was not ready to meet her in person. "He was new to TT" and "realized he was in over his head". He has since met several / many people from TT and is not afraid of FGF now. (9/17/2022) There is so much more to this. He was potentially involved with other women as well as his “BabyMama” and was very busy playing the field. Also, for the 2nd time, she has said she was going to quit smoking because he does not like kissing a smoker.
ToothPick Boy – You almost never saw him without a toothpick. Jordan (8/2022 -tried to get back in her good graces. Not sure what happened) He is still around. One day he will get to "shoot his shot". (9/2022 – Jordan has joined Reddit and left the Cult)
Mike Ivie - Saw through her and was not interested in the unwashed. He rejected her and he named her roach Pedro. He was very gross and rude to her in their dual lives. She blocked him when she and J became a couple. (9/21 Mike is unblocked) He hangs around - making what would normally be vulgar comments, except that they pertain to her lack of hygiene. She has a clear lack of hygiene. Falls asleep drunk, in the makeup from the day before. Goes to her jeep for a smoke and TT. 12/6/2022 he’ssssssss baccckkkkk!!
Then there was Hunter who managed to dodge the bullet before meeting her. He had his own dating drama happening and FGF felt like he was cheating on her before they ever met.
Millie is her new Bestie. They flirt a lot and he even posted a picture of his Abreva so that if she had a flare up, they could share meds. How sweet? (1/1/2023) They seem to be on the outs.
(BACK TO THE TIMELINE)
End of Feb or Maybe March 2022 - Poor Jonathan who should have known better, but hey... to each his own. He was still married. She acts like they are forever couple. Not until he is divorced or figures out the cash cow is going to run out of money!
2022 - April - August
April - Jon flirts with her while she is flirting with the other guys...
May 2022 Met Jonathan in Person - One very drunken night, Jonathan said he would "like to shoot his shot" It was the same time she was flirting with Hunter and Jordan. She even said in one of her Lives, while she was basically incoherent, that she would rather meet Jonathan than Hunter. So, she drove down to NC to meet him and also to house hunt. (Her plan was to move to NC to be closer to her family.)
He joined her in the Rankings stuff. When she was going hard and heavy to "WIN, WIN, WIN," he and Sarah would take over while she worked. They went on their first date to a turtle sanctuary and later on in their relationship they got matching turtle tattoos and she got that nasty puss oozing face piercing, again to be like the other TT Creators. In August, she ended up moving further from all her family and close to him.) and blamed him. If she had known he was going to break up with her, she would not have moved there. She screamed this several times during her drunk lives. She also claimed she gave him a laptop and $10K Heck if I spent that much time helping someone go high up in the rankings, I better well make some of the money!
June 2022 She spends a lot of time with Jonathan, brings her kids to his house, swims in the neighbor's pool. Gets COVID, takes her kids to GWL and probably becomes SuperSpreaderFGF. Makes and deletes tic tok posts about being fine and then sick and asks people to pray for her. All while her children are at her apartment.
July - The littles leave for their dad's because he goes on vacation EVERY YEAR on the 4th of July.
(7/2022 Dusty and Daniel are TT Besties now. Partying, drinking and posting TT Videos together.)
July 2022 She takes her two older children and their (half?) sibling to Florida for a trip. They go parasailing, riding jet skies, out to seafood and steak restaurants, lounging on the beach with no care in the world, swimming in the pool at an AirBnB. Her followers paid for this trip. How many of her "followers", "squad", "sycophants", "fans" take this kind of vacation? And brag about other people paying for it "because they know what I have been through. " The only things she has been through are drama of her own making. Neither J or his children participate in the Florida trip.
J's morning coffee talk used to be cool. Now it is filled with her people asking him questions about her. (7/6/2022) On this morning someone asked if they had broken up. He said "NO, there has been no breakup".
August 2022 She has banned/blocked as many people as she can possibly think of that are on Reddit and still spends more time on her phone than with her children.
She is making plans to move to North Carolina. She had originally planned to move there to be closer to her family that lives there. She changed her mind and put down 6 Months rent on a house very close to where J lives.
All the while She flirts openly with men while doing battles and makes comments that any self respecting woman would not say in public.
Jordan tells her he misses her and loves her.
She is falling apart mentally. She can't muster enough support to do the rankings. She can't admit to herself that she has messed up.
Three days before she made the move, Jonathan broke up with her via text. "He screwed me over!!! I have Kids!!!" - There are two sides to every story and Jonathan respectfully and very much in public, told his story via 2 lives on 9/17 and 9/18. (edited)
2022 August Her apartment in WV is paid for until the end of August, but she decides to move the first weekend of the month. In the middle of packing up the U-Haul truck to make her move, she claimed Josh wrote her letter asking her not to move, he still loves her and wants her call him. The handwriting is very feminine. She also claimed that during the night or maybe it was the drive, someone vandalized her Jeep and cut the serpentine belt.
She made her move to NC the weekend of the(Aug) 5th. She wouldn’t tell anyone where, then asked for help unloading the U-Haul at the storage area. She ended up doing most of it alone. She hired someone to help for 2 hours to move the heavy items. She even bragged bout how she got the storage space for one month free! Of course her location is secret. BUT!!! Several times in a very inebriated state mentioned where she was moving. Probably to throw us all off her trail. She was staying in an Air BnB on the beach until her rental home is ready. Jonathan was being an adult. He explained the “why” in one of his coffee lives He said he is basically not ready emotionally and most of all mentally and is seeing a therapist. More importantly, his children come first!!!!
8/18/2022 SizeMatters - (Mr Kentucky 2) She drove 11 hours to meet him for the first time in person. This is after dropping her children off (I think) and spend a couple of nights there. They made several videos together. She taught him how to create a wish list and drove the 11 hours home. All the while, texting (TT'ing) and talking to her Squad while driving. Dakota has a very troubled past and associating with her was not good for his mental health. She went to spend another weekend with him a couple of weeks later. This weekend just happened to be the one before school starts. She may or may not have taken her 14 year old daughter on that trip. If she didn't take C on the trip, the speculation is that she left her at home alone or dropped her off at her grandfathers. People in her chat were confused about which lie to perpetuate and a couple insinuated that she was with them.
After that weekend, people were even more toxic in his Lives and he and FGF stopped being “Official”. He had to step away for his sobriety. He appears to be doing very well now and leads some sobriety chats a couple of days a week. She has said several times it if wasn't for the ugliness in his chat they would still be together.
September 2022
(9/1/2022) FGF needed help moving everything from her storage to her new rental house. KevTrain was kind enough to offer during one of their ranking battles and she took him up on it. We are not sure if they did the deed, but we do know she was totally drunk outside of a hotel room doing a Live while he was inside the room walking around. It looked like he was pacing back and forth. He did help her move that weekend. Afterwards she verbally abused one of his Mods which was the wrong thing to do. Given the choice of his Mod or her, he chose the Mod.
Then they mutually told people (when asked), that they were both cool people. Since then Kev has made it very clear in several video comments and Lives that he has nothing to do with her at all.
No Specific Date here – Just September 2022 - She is visiting her "Loyer" (s) to see about shutting down the Reddit group. “It is all lies” She has never tried to cancel or harm anyone’s reputation on TT, she has never done anything the Red Eye Snarks said she did. She is very upset all the big creators are not rallying to support her. She has never driven after drinking, she never drive while not paying attention to the road. She never did all these things that there are many videos of her doing.
9/10/2022 She created another count down video series. For meeting her new TT Crush. (She has to stay relevant somehow.)
(9/17/2022 – Kyle comes to visit. The have never met in person. Already calling her "Babe" and "Pumpkin" in chat. He is coming across as if he is a kid in high school talking to his sweetheart. Originally he had a time off of Mon to Wed, as of 9/18 he has an open return to home date. Speculation is he either quit his job or got fired. When he went home, he did go to work, so he was not fired.
Friday or Saturday night - Three of his Ex's went Live to discuss him. They called him a womanizer, user and he even hit one of their children in the mouth.
He owes a lot of back child support. One of those ex's was his BabyMama who he still has a very close relationship with.
Sunday they went fishing, got drunk and went live after they got home. They drank all night long. When they pulled up to the house, Kyle ranted that her Daughter left all the lights on in the house.
Her daughter was home since it was a Sunday night and she had school the next day. FGF and Kyle drank all night. They got off Live at about 5:30AM Monday.
9/21/2022 – Kyle left to go home for a "dentist appointment".
On 9/22 FGF said he is going back to his BabyMamma. SMH! Was it just for clout? to raise money? was his BM involved?
She is back in all her mens chats, but when it comes to gifting during a battle... Her "Battle Cry" is "I can't reload"so she is unable to send them gifts.
2022 October 10/1/2022 FGF has been using her alternate account and while flirting with Risk it 4 da bizket (Tommy) she changed it to include part of his name. He changed his backup account to something like hers (I'll fix this later) – Tommy DROVE from Oklahoma to North Carolina to visit with her. He said he would not get out of his truck unless his subscriber numbers went up.
They attended on-line church together and she made sure people knew they were there by demanding to be in the box
They have also gone fishing where she told their followers that if anyone sent them a lion they would eat a worm. If his follower - he would. If her cult member - she would. They spent the evening making emotes for his subscribers. No sign of her child being home for this visit.
They “appear” to be a "solid" couple on the outside. Attending online church, taking tithes when sent…
There is a lot of concern that fgf is leaving her teenage daughter ALONE with T more than is appropriate. He is also talking to her as if he is has "stepfather". He called himself her "Bonus Dad". When FGF went to pick up the Littles, she left them alone. He spends the majority of his time in his truck on TT and the Daughter is in the house.
(((Total side note, the daughter created a hidden TT account. When her Mom found out, she took the phone away. Many RRs saw the videos and agree that this is one time that FGF did the right thing by taking the phone away; BUT has not given her much more attention. She is in her vehicle on TT while T is in his vehicle on TT.))
10/14/2022 FGF held a DV Awareness Live" and spent the majority of the time talking about herself and her issues and feelings. The people in the box all had an opportunity to speak, but most were squad members who allowed her to talk over them.
10/15/2022 FGF alters 2 different dresses for the Daughter to wear to Home Coming. She spent all day doing it and made a big production on live about her sewing skills.
T appears to be restless and bored. Speculation is that as soon as he has the funds (from battles) he will be leaving. They have both been coy when asked when he is leaving. The answer is always "Christmas".
October 28th something happened, He left her house and moved into a hotel. He stayed there for several days. He finally left after much harassment from her. She even said if he came back just to BOINK her she would meet him somewhere because he was “that good”
She has spent the month of November pining over phantom men. Crocheting, Knitting on expensive knitting machines *again her cult pays for everything. She has no real job. If asked, she says “TikTok is my job”. Her money comes from “gifts” from her cult.
She was on live 11/19 and went to a bar. She told the guy who tried to talk to her that there were 689 people there with her and she was “working”. He touched her jeans and she flipped out.
An hour or so later (3am) she is ready to leave and gets in the UBER and the driver calls out her address and says “is this where we are going” and FGF says Yes. She doxed herself.
When she got home, she smoked on the front porch then went inside and got her karaoke microphone out and started to sing into it. LOUD. Her daughter was asleep in the other room. She drank several beers and then brandished a pack of small fireball bottles and said she was going to drink them too.
At 5:30am she is in her chat with 3 other people and they are trying to convince her to log off and go to sleep. She screeches out several times that all she wants to do is get BOINKED. Keep in mind … 14 year old daughter in the other room.
She has repeated the “go to bar, act important, come home get trashed and make an even bigger fool of herself on TT” several times – it could be her new Saturday night thing.
12/6 Mike I told her he is into her in the middle of the night. She mocked him in a live a little later in the day. He keeps calling her Bruh and Dude. She really is one of the guys.
Manny MAY be figuring her out. In the mean time she keeps talking ab out all the nasty pictures they send back and forth. Regardless he is in it for the $$ and the clout and they have plans to get together sometime during the Christmas break.
Sometime in mid December she drove to visit Manny. This was before the planned date. It was not a good visit. Rumor has it he felt catfished. He has been a polite man so far and has not “spilled the tea” on their visit. There are videos of his slapping her upside the head with some slice ham. YES, lunch meat. SHE says they “did it” several times and then she realized they were not a good fit. She left in the middle of the night, after drinking a lot while live on TT
She got a hotel room and called Mike I. At 3:30am for sympathy. She (who just climbed out of some strange mans bed) is mad because Mike said he was talking to someone named Megan. She went home the next day, worked on her knitting and planned her future with Mike I.
She apparently told Mike he was always the one. They made plans for him to actually fly to see her. Her plan was to fly to him first (as a surprise since he had never flown before) and they would then fly back to NC together. Because there were ice storms forecasted all over the country, she went a few days early.
She “tried” to do rankings. She never had enough people who were gifting her to get very far. She did get to # 4 once. It was enough to pay rent. While Mike was there, and she was sleeping, Mike did battles on her account. He did very well and when she woke up, he had progressed pretty high. That may be the day she got to #4. Apparently there is/was an issue with her not giving him some of the money from the battles he participated in. He did work hard.
2023
She suffered alone for almost a month. Then she and Mike talked and decided they were meant to be together. He flew back to NC and lasted less than a week. He was sick when he got there. Went to ER, had bronchitis. She cooked for him when she rarely cooks for her children.
Then she got sick and he spent all his time on line and did nothing for her. Then she took him to a bar to watch the Cowboys game (they lost) and she decided she was going out. She needed alone time. With Mike she left her 14 year old daughter alone in the house with him. This is a scary pattern. She came home. They argued. She kicked him out somewhere between 3:30am and 4:30am. Got him a Uber and a hotel room. Now (1/25) they are talking about each other and acting like children. She posted the argument in 10 parts on one of her accounts.
1/25/2023 She is on the prowl again. Hair done, new nails and wearing a shirt that exposes her boobies. All while telling her squad and whoever else will listen, how much she appreciates them for all they have given her. “It doesn’t matter how much or if you gift her at all.”
February and March were filled with the SheFish on the prowl. She had a couple of close calls. One flat out told her he would not sleep with her. Another even said he caught a Catfish and then did not get involved with her.
She also tried several times to Rank and failed. Her content is filled with defending her choice in men and saying that everything posted on "Reddit" is a lie.
Her step-brother chose not to live any longer and she used that for as much sympathy and views as she possibly could. Streaming the funeral cars, the “wake, the strife internally in the family and showing everyone drinking and then possibly getting in their cars driving. "Reddit" spent a lot of time discussing her children’s lack of appropriate clothing for a funeral.
A group of people from "Reddit" formed yet another Discord to keep their activities private and then went live on TT, spending many hours bashing her and her lifestyle. Bringing her ex-fishermen into the lives and having them tell their stories. I’m not sure how successful that was. I only watched one time. She talks about Reddit as if it was on person...
March 30th, she was successful. She suckered a new victim into her bed. When she asked him (when they met) if he was happy, he said “you look different”. He didn’t leave or run…YET!
submitted by SnowRemedy to TIKTOKSNARKANDGOSSIP [link] [comments]
THE MEN
- Nathan....March 2021 (First viral video about her TT crush meeting)
- Rusty.....April/May 2021
- Josh......June 2021
- Daniel....August 2021
- Dusty.....Nov / Dec 2021 to NYE
- Derrick...February 2022
- Jonathon…Feb / March 2022 – August 2022
- Dakota....August 19, 2022
- Kev......(Maybe) Sept 1 - 3, 2022
- Kyle.....September 17 – 21, 2022
- Tommy.....October 1 - 26 (edited)
- Manny.....December (mid month)
- MikeIV.....December 20’ish to December 26’ish
13 ¾…Tatted something in TN – Just visited – no whoopee.
- JeromyKelly…March 30, 2023 to ???
2021 March to June She has a "platform" - what is it really??? Drinking, crying. lip syncing, Ranking, flirting, playing word games with a cheater app? GRWM as I sit around and drink beer and cry
Somewhere between the time she got on TT and met Nathan, she met her "Best Friend" who has kept telling her she is picking losers. She ignores him every time. I think she blocked him recently. He has not been around. Maybe he got smart!! I like him and respect him enough not to blast his name here. He surfaced the again after she broke up with #7. There is a lot of speculation about them having a physical relationship. Can't be substantiated, I'm not adding it.
Mar 2021 There was her TT Crush - Nathan - mutual not a thing - clout for her for sure - I sat there watching them cuddle and as the number of her followers rose higher and higher. Always use #FYP, It was her first viral video.
April or May 2021 then the dude in PA with false teeth - Rusty he drank as much or maybe more than her! It was not a good relationship. She drove up to see him twice, he drove to her once (with his son) and that is when they broke up. She insinuated he was abusive towards her and she demanded he leave. They spent a lot of time on their own Lives complaining about the other. He has since fallen onto really hard times. (9/21/2022 living in his car)
June'ish 2021- Several nights after breaking up with Rusty, she was drunker than she had probably ever been on a Live. There were teenagers across the street in the park, playing on the swings that had a terrible squeal. The squeal was so bad you could hear it over the Live. Josh came to rescue her from the abuse of the teenage boys. She called the police on them, and she stood in the middle of her street, drunk off her ass, telling the police she could not tell them the address because "she was live on TT with over 1000 viewers". Josh lived about 1/2 a mile down the street from her and he heard all the stuff happening on the police scanner. When they talked the kids into apologizing and going home, she invited him in for a beer and a "Movie" at 2am. All she had was warm beer.
A couple of weeks later FGF moved into his house with all most all her stuff and her son who was living with her at the time. (She had to keep her apartment because the lease was not up until February 2022) He really enjoyed the time he spent with all her kids. Made cute happy videos with them. He bought groceries and cooked FGF's favorite meat (rib eye) on the grill with her older daughter. He grew to have a special bond with the older daughter. He gave her attention, talked to her like a parent would and generally was a good example of what an adult should be. Josh got FGF the nose piercing she desperately wanted so she could be like all the other TT Creators.
Poor guy, it was down hill from there. Anyone remember the night FGF got super wasted and vomited Taco Bell all over his computer room? She pressure washed HIM on Live instead of the side of the house and DID NOT apologize. She laughed and thought it was funny. Eventually he got smart. Tired of her being drunk all the time. Told her to leave. He called the police on her because she would not leave. She whined and complained that he would not help her move her things back to her apartment.
((Shortly after they broke up, he married some woman (with children) he met on TT. She left him several months later. Last I saw him online he was with another really cute girl. Wonder how long that will last. Poor guy, I think he just wanted to be a father. - 9/2022 He apparently is off TT, which is good for him. His FB page is still active. (edited)))
August 2021'ish There was Daniel from Denver who seemed to be a nice guy, but turned into a really angry man (her story/perspective). Her cult paid for their vacation to Florida where they fell in love. After the vacation, she could not wait to see him so she flew to Denver. This is where they decided he would move to WV. He was supposed to move there around Thanksgiving.
They decided he would move to WV sooner. The would look for a larger place, but in the mean time they would live with her in her nasty 1 (2?) bedroom with his two dogs, He didn't give them proper vet care (which made me really mad). The squad contributed money so they could pay for the move. During the time he was there, he never really held a job, he drank beer and smoked all day. Got money from her to pay for it. While she was actually working a 12 hour day. That turned into a HUGE drama with police, pods and puppies. Anyone remember her laying on the couch with the “cold sore” blaming it on the stress of the drive from Colorado.
*Update- I left out the part where she wrecked his car. He tried to get her to pay for it and she said "F NO!" He left her and went to Iowa to see his "daughter" who was an ex's daughter, who was not even an ex. But, apparently was an ex. He left his dogs at FGF's house and one of them, poor guy had a bad ear issue. Made me even more angry. People offered to pay the vet bill and he still didn't take him until the poor dog was crying in pain. She blames Dan for nude photos of her being spread all over TT and other places. He has since moved on, has a new attractive adult woman in his life. Sadly he had to put 2 dogs down, I don’t know if they are the same ones, but that is never anything you wish on anyone.
Nov/ Dec 2021 The dude in Nashville “Dusty” who couldn't carry a tune but had all of TT convinced he was a real singer, had big bucks and a pending recording contract.
She drove from WV to Nashville to meet him at the hotel where he was a night auditor. She and Dusty went to "play hotel" while he left his friend watching the front desk. (He said in one of her lives while she was crying over one of her many men "I might as well shoot my shot"
In December he held a M & G in Nashville for her fans and his fans. They charged people to attend. They both got so drunk they had to leave and they drove the wrong way on the freeway.
This is also where she left her children with a woman she had never met in person. It is also where she met sweet Sarah in person and hoodwinked her into thinking she was really her friend. ((2022) Some people think that Sarah has become just like FGF. If she has it is because people have shown her how easily they can be duped into giving away their money to people they do not know)
She (FGF) and Dusty crashed and burned after NYE 2022. She was angry and drank and cried and drank and cried… She then began her search for the next man. Don't forget Dusty wrote a song for her. Nighttime Lifetime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6_8LfvJS3M (9/2022 Dusty posts video sobbing about losing THE ONE, the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rumor has it he did her wrong too)
Dec 2021 – Christmas - Oh, and let's not forget Troy who paid her $200 and bought her a new Christmas tree in return for some nudes. Also, "The Squad" gathered $ to get her Jeep fixed in November /December and bought all her kids Christmas presents. Roxanne even bought her a KitchenAid Stand Mixer in her favorite color. This gift was appx $500/$600 depending on where it was purchased. (edited)
2022 January - February
January 2022 was filled with crying, drinking, man bashing and flirting... She blasted Dusty let everyone know how terrible he really was. She told her squad ALL about how Dusty did her wrong, used her for bail money, about his arrest and secret family.
February 2022 - Derrick – almost immediately after breaking up with Dusty, she fell in LOVE with Derrick before even meeting him. She flew to Houston to meet him. He had to drive 4 hours from Lake Charles LA. to pick her up from the airport and when the visit was over, another 4 to take her back. Which was the longer drive? They seemed ok the first night. The 2nd night they wer drunk. The 3rd night she went home. She had to get back to work. She was still a working as an RN then,
When Derrick broke up with her, he said he was 100% catfished. She was very, very dramatic about it, she made FB and TT posts referencing “un-aliving” herself, clearly she didn't do it. I am not adding all the info in this section because it references her son. She did delete the posts on TT and on FB. During her visit, She got a matching heart tattoo with a fishing hook on it, with D (He has since has his covered up)). This turned into the most toxic of all her breakups (so far).
**Update - It was brought to my attention I left out the HP drama. I'm leaving it out of here. this is mostly for her "man drama" someone else can document that.
2022 THE EXTRA MEN - *Update - After Derrick she strung along a lot of "innocents ". Except I think they just wanted a piece of a$$ and to live in her clout bubble.
Mr Kentucky 1 – Kyle They were going to meet and then they weren’t. She blocked him and told her squad, “we are not going to talk about him”. It turns out that he was not ready to meet her in person. "He was new to TT" and "realized he was in over his head". He has since met several / many people from TT and is not afraid of FGF now. (9/17/2022) There is so much more to this. He was potentially involved with other women as well as his “BabyMama” and was very busy playing the field. Also, for the 2nd time, she has said she was going to quit smoking because he does not like kissing a smoker.
ToothPick Boy – You almost never saw him without a toothpick. Jordan (8/2022 -tried to get back in her good graces. Not sure what happened) He is still around. One day he will get to "shoot his shot". (9/2022 – Jordan has joined Reddit and left the Cult)
Mike Ivie - Saw through her and was not interested in the unwashed. He rejected her and he named her roach Pedro. He was very gross and rude to her in their dual lives. She blocked him when she and J became a couple. (9/21 Mike is unblocked) He hangs around - making what would normally be vulgar comments, except that they pertain to her lack of hygiene. She has a clear lack of hygiene. Falls asleep drunk, in the makeup from the day before. Goes to her jeep for a smoke and TT. 12/6/2022 he’ssssssss baccckkkkk!!
Then there was Hunter who managed to dodge the bullet before meeting her. He had his own dating drama happening and FGF felt like he was cheating on her before they ever met.
Millie is her new Bestie. They flirt a lot and he even posted a picture of his Abreva so that if she had a flare up, they could share meds. How sweet? (1/1/2023) They seem to be on the outs.
(BACK TO THE TIMELINE)
End of Feb or Maybe March 2022 - Poor Jonathan who should have known better, but hey... to each his own. He was still married. She acts like they are forever couple. Not until he is divorced or figures out the cash cow is going to run out of money!
2022 - April - August
April - Jon flirts with her while she is flirting with the other guys...
May 2022 Met Jonathan in Person - One very drunken night, Jonathan said he would "like to shoot his shot" It was the same time she was flirting with Hunter and Jordan. She even said in one of her Lives, while she was basically incoherent, that she would rather meet Jonathan than Hunter. So, she drove down to NC to meet him and also to house hunt. (Her plan was to move to NC to be closer to her family.)
He joined her in the Rankings stuff. When she was going hard and heavy to "WIN, WIN, WIN," he and Sarah would take over while she worked. They went on their first date to a turtle sanctuary and later on in their relationship they got matching turtle tattoos and she got that nasty puss oozing face piercing, again to be like the other TT Creators. In August, she ended up moving further from all her family and close to him.) and blamed him. If she had known he was going to break up with her, she would not have moved there. She screamed this several times during her drunk lives. She also claimed she gave him a laptop and $10K Heck if I spent that much time helping someone go high up in the rankings, I better well make some of the money!
June 2022 She spends a lot of time with Jonathan, brings her kids to his house, swims in the neighbor's pool. Gets COVID, takes her kids to GWL and probably becomes SuperSpreaderFGF. Makes and deletes tic tok posts about being fine and then sick and asks people to pray for her. All while her children are at her apartment.
July - The littles leave for their dad's because he goes on vacation EVERY YEAR on the 4th of July.
(7/2022 Dusty and Daniel are TT Besties now. Partying, drinking and posting TT Videos together.)
July 2022 She takes her two older children and their (half?) sibling to Florida for a trip. They go parasailing, riding jet skies, out to seafood and steak restaurants, lounging on the beach with no care in the world, swimming in the pool at an AirBnB. Her followers paid for this trip. How many of her "followers", "squad", "sycophants", "fans" take this kind of vacation? And brag about other people paying for it "because they know what I have been through. " The only things she has been through are drama of her own making. Neither J or his children participate in the Florida trip.
J's morning coffee talk used to be cool. Now it is filled with her people asking him questions about her. (7/6/2022) On this morning someone asked if they had broken up. He said "NO, there has been no breakup".
August 2022 She has banned/blocked as many people as she can possibly think of that are on Reddit and still spends more time on her phone than with her children.
She is making plans to move to North Carolina. She had originally planned to move there to be closer to her family that lives there. She changed her mind and put down 6 Months rent on a house very close to where J lives.
All the while She flirts openly with men while doing battles and makes comments that any self respecting woman would not say in public.
Jordan tells her he misses her and loves her.
She is falling apart mentally. She can't muster enough support to do the rankings. She can't admit to herself that she has messed up.
Three days before she made the move, Jonathan broke up with her via text. "He screwed me over!!! I have Kids!!!" - There are two sides to every story and Jonathan respectfully and very much in public, told his story via 2 lives on 9/17 and 9/18. (edited)
2022 August Her apartment in WV is paid for until the end of August, but she decides to move the first weekend of the month. In the middle of packing up the U-Haul truck to make her move, she claimed Josh wrote her letter asking her not to move, he still loves her and wants her call him. The handwriting is very feminine. She also claimed that during the night or maybe it was the drive, someone vandalized her Jeep and cut the serpentine belt.
She made her move to NC the weekend of the(Aug) 5th. She wouldn’t tell anyone where, then asked for help unloading the U-Haul at the storage area. She ended up doing most of it alone. She hired someone to help for 2 hours to move the heavy items. She even bragged bout how she got the storage space for one month free! Of course her location is secret. BUT!!! Several times in a very inebriated state mentioned where she was moving. Probably to throw us all off her trail. She was staying in an Air BnB on the beach until her rental home is ready. Jonathan was being an adult. He explained the “why” in one of his coffee lives He said he is basically not ready emotionally and most of all mentally and is seeing a therapist. More importantly, his children come first!!!!
8/18/2022 SizeMatters - (Mr Kentucky 2) She drove 11 hours to meet him for the first time in person. This is after dropping her children off (I think) and spend a couple of nights there. They made several videos together. She taught him how to create a wish list and drove the 11 hours home. All the while, texting (TT'ing) and talking to her Squad while driving. Dakota has a very troubled past and associating with her was not good for his mental health. She went to spend another weekend with him a couple of weeks later. This weekend just happened to be the one before school starts. She may or may not have taken her 14 year old daughter on that trip. If she didn't take C on the trip, the speculation is that she left her at home alone or dropped her off at her grandfathers. People in her chat were confused about which lie to perpetuate and a couple insinuated that she was with them.
After that weekend, people were even more toxic in his Lives and he and FGF stopped being “Official”. He had to step away for his sobriety. He appears to be doing very well now and leads some sobriety chats a couple of days a week. She has said several times it if wasn't for the ugliness in his chat they would still be together.
September 2022
(9/1/2022) FGF needed help moving everything from her storage to her new rental house. KevTrain was kind enough to offer during one of their ranking battles and she took him up on it. We are not sure if they did the deed, but we do know she was totally drunk outside of a hotel room doing a Live while he was inside the room walking around. It looked like he was pacing back and forth. He did help her move that weekend. Afterwards she verbally abused one of his Mods which was the wrong thing to do. Given the choice of his Mod or her, he chose the Mod.
Then they mutually told people (when asked), that they were both cool people. Since then Kev has made it very clear in several video comments and Lives that he has nothing to do with her at all.
No Specific Date here – Just September 2022 - She is visiting her "Loyer" (s) to see about shutting down the Reddit group. “It is all lies” She has never tried to cancel or harm anyone’s reputation on TT, she has never done anything the Red Eye Snarks said she did. She is very upset all the big creators are not rallying to support her. She has never driven after drinking, she never drive while not paying attention to the road. She never did all these things that there are many videos of her doing.
9/10/2022 She created another count down video series. For meeting her new TT Crush. (She has to stay relevant somehow.)
(9/17/2022 – Kyle comes to visit. The have never met in person. Already calling her "Babe" and "Pumpkin" in chat. He is coming across as if he is a kid in high school talking to his sweetheart. Originally he had a time off of Mon to Wed, as of 9/18 he has an open return to home date. Speculation is he either quit his job or got fired. When he went home, he did go to work, so he was not fired.
Friday or Saturday night - Three of his Ex's went Live to discuss him. They called him a womanizer, user and he even hit one of their children in the mouth.
He owes a lot of back child support. One of those ex's was his BabyMama who he still has a very close relationship with.
Sunday they went fishing, got drunk and went live after they got home. They drank all night long. When they pulled up to the house, Kyle ranted that her Daughter left all the lights on in the house.
Her daughter was home since it was a Sunday night and she had school the next day. FGF and Kyle drank all night. They got off Live at about 5:30AM Monday.
9/21/2022 – Kyle left to go home for a "dentist appointment".
On 9/22 FGF said he is going back to his BabyMamma. SMH! Was it just for clout? to raise money? was his BM involved?
She is back in all her mens chats, but when it comes to gifting during a battle... Her "Battle Cry" is "I can't reload"so she is unable to send them gifts.
2022 October 10/1/2022 FGF has been using her alternate account and while flirting with Risk it 4 da bizket (Tommy) she changed it to include part of his name. He changed his backup account to something like hers (I'll fix this later) – Tommy DROVE from Oklahoma to North Carolina to visit with her. He said he would not get out of his truck unless his subscriber numbers went up.
They attended on-line church together and she made sure people knew they were there by demanding to be in the box
They have also gone fishing where she told their followers that if anyone sent them a lion they would eat a worm. If his follower - he would. If her cult member - she would. They spent the evening making emotes for his subscribers. No sign of her child being home for this visit.
They “appear” to be a "solid" couple on the outside. Attending online church, taking tithes when sent…
There is a lot of concern that fgf is leaving her teenage daughter ALONE with T more than is appropriate. He is also talking to her as if he is has "stepfather". He called himself her "Bonus Dad". When FGF went to pick up the Littles, she left them alone. He spends the majority of his time in his truck on TT and the Daughter is in the house.
(((Total side note, the daughter created a hidden TT account. When her Mom found out, she took the phone away. Many RRs saw the videos and agree that this is one time that FGF did the right thing by taking the phone away; BUT has not given her much more attention. She is in her vehicle on TT while T is in his vehicle on TT.))
10/14/2022 FGF held a DV Awareness Live" and spent the majority of the time talking about herself and her issues and feelings. The people in the box all had an opportunity to speak, but most were squad members who allowed her to talk over them.
10/15/2022 FGF alters 2 different dresses for the Daughter to wear to Home Coming. She spent all day doing it and made a big production on live about her sewing skills.
T appears to be restless and bored. Speculation is that as soon as he has the funds (from battles) he will be leaving. They have both been coy when asked when he is leaving. The answer is always "Christmas".
October 28th something happened, He left her house and moved into a hotel. He stayed there for several days. He finally left after much harassment from her. She even said if he came back just to BOINK her she would meet him somewhere because he was “that good”
She has spent the month of November pining over phantom men. Crocheting, Knitting on expensive knitting machines *again her cult pays for everything. She has no real job. If asked, she says “TikTok is my job”. Her money comes from “gifts” from her cult.
She was on live 11/19 and went to a bar. She told the guy who tried to talk to her that there were 689 people there with her and she was “working”. He touched her jeans and she flipped out.
An hour or so later (3am) she is ready to leave and gets in the UBER and the driver calls out her address and says “is this where we are going” and FGF says Yes. She doxed herself.
When she got home, she smoked on the front porch then went inside and got her karaoke microphone out and started to sing into it. LOUD. Her daughter was asleep in the other room. She drank several beers and then brandished a pack of small fireball bottles and said she was going to drink them too.
At 5:30am she is in her chat with 3 other people and they are trying to convince her to log off and go to sleep. She screeches out several times that all she wants to do is get BOINKED. Keep in mind … 14 year old daughter in the other room.
She has repeated the “go to bar, act important, come home get trashed and make an even bigger fool of herself on TT” several times – it could be her new Saturday night thing.
12/6 Mike I told her he is into her in the middle of the night. She mocked him in a live a little later in the day. He keeps calling her Bruh and Dude. She really is one of the guys.
Manny MAY be figuring her out. In the mean time she keeps talking ab out all the nasty pictures they send back and forth. Regardless he is in it for the $$ and the clout and they have plans to get together sometime during the Christmas break.
Sometime in mid December she drove to visit Manny. This was before the planned date. It was not a good visit. Rumor has it he felt catfished. He has been a polite man so far and has not “spilled the tea” on their visit. There are videos of his slapping her upside the head with some slice ham. YES, lunch meat. SHE says they “did it” several times and then she realized they were not a good fit. She left in the middle of the night, after drinking a lot while live on TT
She got a hotel room and called Mike I. At 3:30am for sympathy. She (who just climbed out of some strange mans bed) is mad because Mike said he was talking to someone named Megan. She went home the next day, worked on her knitting and planned her future with Mike I.
She apparently told Mike he was always the one. They made plans for him to actually fly to see her. Her plan was to fly to him first (as a surprise since he had never flown before) and they would then fly back to NC together. Because there were ice storms forecasted all over the country, she went a few days early.
She “tried” to do rankings. She never had enough people who were gifting her to get very far. She did get to # 4 once. It was enough to pay rent. While Mike was there, and she was sleeping, Mike did battles on her account. He did very well and when she woke up, he had progressed pretty high. That may be the day she got to #4. Apparently there is/was an issue with her not giving him some of the money from the battles he participated in. He did work hard.
2023
She suffered alone for almost a month. Then she and Mike talked and decided they were meant to be together. He flew back to NC and lasted less than a week. He was sick when he got there. Went to ER, had bronchitis. She cooked for him when she rarely cooks for her children.
Then she got sick and he spent all his time on line and did nothing for her. Then she took him to a bar to watch the Cowboys game (they lost) and she decided she was going out. She needed alone time. With Mike she left her 14 year old daughter alone in the house with him. This is a scary pattern. She came home. They argued. She kicked him out somewhere between 3:30am and 4:30am. Got him a Uber and a hotel room. Now (1/25) they are talking about each other and acting like children. She posted the argument in 10 parts on one of her accounts.
1/25/2023 She is on the prowl again. Hair done, new nails and wearing a shirt that exposes her boobies. All while telling her squad and whoever else will listen, how much she appreciates them for all they have given her. “It doesn’t matter how much or if you gift her at all.”
February and March were filled with the SheFish on the prowl. She had a couple of close calls. One flat out told her he would not sleep with her. Another even said he caught a Catfish and then did not get involved with her.
She also tried several times to Rank and failed. Her content is filled with defending her choice in men and saying that everything posted on "Reddit" is a lie.
Her step-brother chose not to live any longer and she used that for as much sympathy and views as she possibly could. Streaming the funeral cars, the “wake, the strife internally in the family and showing everyone drinking and then possibly getting in their cars driving. "Reddit" spent a lot of time discussing her children’s lack of appropriate clothing for a funeral.
A group of people from "Reddit" formed yet another Discord to keep their activities private and then went live on TT, spending many hours bashing her and her lifestyle. Bringing her ex-fishermen into the lives and having them tell their stories. I’m not sure how successful that was. I only watched one time. She talks about Reddit as if it was on person...
March 30th, she was successful. She suckered a new victim into her bed. When she asked him (when they met) if he was happy, he said “you look different”. He didn’t leave or run…YET!