Hydro dip kit

Eula was released in 1.5.
Eula’s release was seemingly out of nowhere having played no part in the Mondstadt chapter before or after her release. Though her personality isn’t for everyone, I am of the belief that her design is good enough that had she been involved in the Mondstadt story she would have been one of these characters people were waiting for, like Ganyu or Xiao. Her sudden addition likely played a role in her low sales though her being a physical unit was probably the bigger culprit.
While she worked just fine with the five existing electro units, many defaulted to using Fischl, Beidou or Lisa due to their off field electro application with Fischl being the clear standout due to not requiring a burst for the best results. The release of the Raiden Shogun saw her quickly and easily slot into many teams but it was in a Eula team that something became clear. Eula was made with the Raiden Shogun in mind.
As a burst DPS Raiden Shogun’s Normal Attacks have low multipliers, a problem not shared by Eula. Raiden’s elemental skill, “Transcendence: Baleful Omen”, freed Eula from ever having to switch to reapply Superconduct. The “Eye of Stormy Judgement” increased elemental burst damage. The two’s Bursts could be alternated between, allowing the use of one while the other is on cooldown, when accounting for other supports such as Kujou Sara.
2.5 came with the release of Yae Miko.
A constant presence throughout the story of Inazuma Yae Miko possessed a great design with a mischievous personality perfectly portrayed in every language by great voice actresses, she was a character hotly anticipated by many. Yet upon release she was met with skepticism.
Some saw her as weak, not living up to the image they had built up in their head for a character they had been waiting half a year for. She brought surprisingly little to a Raiden Shogun team, who many thought she would pair well with. Some criticized her kit, calling it clunky and most were confused by the addition of her Ascension 2 passive, “Enlightened Blessing,” providing a .15% bonus to “Sesshou Sakura” damage for every point of Elemental Mastery Yae Miko possesses. Did Hoyoverse not realize electro based reactions were significantly weaker than Pyro, Cryo and Hydro based ones?
If so why try to bait people with a damage increase tied to such a useless stat?
It wasn’t until Dendro released in 3.0 that everyone realized Yae Miko wasn’t built with synergy to Raiden Shogun in mind, but Dendro and by extension the Dendro Archon, Nahida. While usually an off field Sub DPS Nahida allows Yae Miko to have a more on field presence with both “All Schemes to Know” and “Illusionary Heart.” The latter of which also allows Yae Miko to be built with less focus on EM with Nahida’s A1 passive granting up to 250 EM to the active character within the field of her Burst.
3.5
Dehya in Sumeru became for many the character they wanted above all else. Other units came and went but many people either held fast and skipped those banners or they pulled while keeping a close count of how many pulls they could regain before the next patch just in case Dehya was in it. And I don’t blame them.
Dehya played a significant part in the 3.0 archon quests, had one of the best designs in all of Genshin—(IMO)—and a personality that players have just been falling in love with more and more with each passing patch that adds more to her lore. All of this helped endear her to the player.
And yet it’s all seemed to have gone wrong.
After 3 weeks, what more can be said about Dehya’s release in 3.5 that hasn’t already been said? Almost every aspect of Dehya’s kit has been met with questions of Hoyoverse’s design team. I’m not here to badmouth anyone, so I won’t.
But with Hindsight being 20/20, what are the chances that Dehya, the newest member of the x.5 patch squad that has left many scratching their heads is meant to work with the next Archon, the Hydro Archon?
Could the reason Dehya mitigates damage instead of nullifying it like a traditional shielder be due to some gimmick of the archon? Perhaps they gain or grant increased damage whenever a member of the party takes damage hence why you wouldn’t want a traditional shielder on your team? Maybe they release a retaliatory attack whenever a party member suffers an instance of damage?
The possibilities are there and likely compium as hell but I for one would not be surprised if the hydro Archon ends up bringing new life to Dehya.

Eula was released in 1.5.
Eula’s release was seemingly out of nowhere having played no part in the Mondstadt chapter before or after her release. Though her personality isn’t for everyone, I am of the belief that her design is good enough that had she been involved in the Mondstadt story she would have been one of these characters people were waiting for, like Ganyu or Xiao. Her sudden addition likely played a role in her low sales though her being a physical unit was probably the bigger culprit.
While she worked just fine with the five existing electro units, many defaulted to using Fischl, Beidou or Lisa due to their off field electro application with Fischl being the clear standout due to not requiring a burst for the best results. The release of the Raiden Shogun saw her quickly and easily slot into many teams but it was in a Eula team that something became clear. Eula was made with the Raiden Shogun in mind.
As a burst DPS Raiden Shogun’s Normal Attacks have low multipliers, a problem not shared by Eula. Raiden’s elemental skill, “Transcendence: Baleful Omen”, freed Eula from ever having to switch to reapply Superconduct. The “Eye of Stormy Judgement” increased elemental burst damage. The two’s Bursts could be alternated between, allowing the use of one while the other is on cooldown, when accounting for other supports such as Kujou Sara.
2.5 came with the release of Yae Miko.
A constant presence throughout the story of Inazuma Yae Miko possessed a great design with a mischievous personality perfectly portrayed in every language by great voice actresses, she was a character hotly anticipated by many. Yet upon release she was met with skepticism.
Some saw her as weak, not living up to the image they had built up in their head for a character they had been waiting half a year for. She brought surprisingly little to a Raiden Shogun team, who many thought she would pair well with. Some criticized her kit, calling it clunky and most were confused by the addition of her Ascension 2 passive, “Enlightened Blessing,” providing a .15% bonus to “Sesshou Sakura” damage for every point of Elemental Mastery Yae Miko possesses. Did Hoyoverse not realize electro based reactions were significantly weaker than Pyro, Cryo and Hydro based ones?
If so why try to bait people with a damage increase tied to such a useless stat?
It wasn’t until Dendro released in 3.0 that everyone realized Yae Miko wasn’t built with synergy to Raiden Shogun in mind, but Dendro and by extension the Dendro Archon, Nahida. While usually an off field Sub DPS Nahida allows Yae Miko to have a more on field presence with both “All Schemes to Know” and “Illusionary Heart.” The latter of which also allows Yae Miko to be built with less focus on EM with Nahida’s A1 passive granting up to 250 EM to the active character within the field of her Burst.
3.5
Dehya in Sumeru became for many the character they wanted above all else. Other units came and went but many people either held fast and skipped those banners or they pulled while keeping a close count of how many pulls they could regain before the next patch just in case Dehya was in it. And I don’t blame them.
Dehya played a significant part in the 3.0 archon quests, had one of the best designs in all of Genshin—(IMO)—and a personality that players have just been falling in love with more and more with each passing patch that adds more to her lore. All of this helped endear her to the player.
And yet it’s all seemed to have gone wrong.
After 3 weeks, what more can be said about Dehya’s release in 3.5 that hasn’t already been said? Almost every aspect of Dehya’s kit has been met with questions of Hoyoverse’s design team. I’m not here to badmouth anyone, so I won’t.
But with Hindsight being 20/20, what are the chances that Dehya, the newest member of the x.5 patch squad that has left many scratching their heads is meant to work with the next Archon, the Hydro Archon?
Could the reason Dehya mitigates damage instead of nullifying it like a traditional shielder be due to some gimmick of the archon? Perhaps they gain or grant increased damage whenever a member of the party takes damage hence why you wouldn’t want a traditional shielder on your team? Maybe they release a retaliatory attack whenever a party member suffers an instance of damage?
The possibilities are there and likely compium as hell but I for one would not be surprised if the hydro Archon ends up bringing new life to Dehya.

Hi everyone! I was skimming through my Pathbuilder folder — which, admitedly, has way more stuff than a person can humanly play — and it made me think: this game has a lot of cool and powerful combinations, and not all of them are as often mentioned as they deserve. So I decided to write about some of these! I am known for being very critical of some aspects of the system (or as "the caster essay guy"), so this series of posts, for a change of pace, is just a way to show cool things that the community might not know about.
These will be more focused on combinations that are both interesting and mechanically strong. There's nothing wrong with choosing flavorful but weak options if it works for your game, but my groups are very open with reflavoring, so I'm very partial to things which have that sweet mechanical juice. This is also not going to be focused on full builds. I might talk about one or two eventually, but the core idea is showing "kits" of feats, spells and items that mix together in powerful ways. Without further ado, let's get started!
The Core Combo
To begin with a bang, I'll talk about what I think is one of the feat combos with the most potential power in the game. If you want to constantly give bonuses to both yourself and your teammates, at no resource cost, this might be just the thing for you. Oh, and a shoutout to Kao from Archives of Nethys for pointing part of it out to me!
The first ingredient of our little mixture is Pathfinder Agent Dedication (AoN). It's nothing outstanding for an archetype entry feat, but a little extra skill stuff is always nice. The truth is, this is simply a prerequisite for what's to come. And the price will be worth it.
It is an Uncommon archetype, but also... not really. PFS lets everyone use it, and the Access condition for it is being part of pretty much the biggest adventurer organization in Golarion. At that point, I'd call it Semi-Common.
Things start out for real with Deft Cooperation (AoN). This feat allow us to give a nice little bonus to ourselves against an enemy whenever we Aid an ally against them. Aid is... a weird beast, admitedly. Early on it's extremely hard to do for most characters, and then it gets easier and easier. There's some ways to ease that part in for the early game, however, which we will touch on later. Regardless, even if you grab this straight at level 4 and nothing else, giving a +1~+2 bonus to an ally's attack for a third action + your reaction, and then gaining a +1 bonus to your attacks next turn is nothing to scoff at.
Then to finish our core, we add Swordmaster Dedication (AoN). Most of the effects here are whatever — what we want is the upgrade to Deft Cooperation. Increasing the bonus to a +2 on a crit, for one attack, might seem situational, but remember Aid is a check with a flat DC of 20. Forever. With a couple of levels on our belt and the right toppings, we can crit this extremely easily. And I shall remind you, these are all circumstance bonuses. They stack with buff spells, Marshal's Aura, etc.
This is already looking quite good, but maybe nothing outstanding. An action and a reaction is a steep cost, and Aid generally requires you to be close. At the same time, melee characters might really want their reactions for other stuff. So why am I saying this is one of the strongest combos in the game?
Well, there is a bit of a secret to Aid. I don't know if it's because people don't use it a lot, but Paizo added a metric ton of feat support for it over time. Not just that, good feat support. These three feats are just the dough for our pie.
Branching Out
Like I said, the base Aid action is fine, but maybe a little inefficient? Well, thankfully, we can get rid of many of factors that cause that. There are multiple ways of doing so, but I'll single out what I consider the three best ones.
The first, and probably most modest, is Omnidirectional Scan (AoN), from Infinite Eye Psychic. What holds it back a little is the extremely slow proficiency progression of spell attacks, plus the lack of item bonuses, but it still adds a lot of interesting things on top of the base Aid. It gives you a free Seek action on top of the preparation, can be used from 30 feet away, and removes the crit fail effect. It's also on a caster class, which seldom have amazing uses for their third actions and reactions. If you're an Infinite Eye Psychic who dipped into Distant Grasp, for example, you could use this on one round, help an ally, and then Unleash and throw an Amped TKP with the bonus your gave yourself on your next turn!
The second one, getting a little more spicy, is One For All (AoN), from Swashbuckler. It also makes Aid consistently ranged, but much to the contrary of Scan, it lets you use Diplomacy for the check, which gives it a very fast proficiency progression. That would be great by itself, but if you're of the Wit style, you also gain Panache if you roll a high enough result. So we can build entire playstyles around this, really! Swashbuckler is a class that tends to concentrate their damage on a single attack, so the +2 bonus on crits from Swordmaster allows us to throw out Bleeding Finishers with the same attack bonus as a Fighter, while also giving a bonus to an ally. Ouch.
This combo is already good on melee Swashbucklers, but it's even better if you get Flying Blade and play mostly ranged. I actually made an entire build around that, even before Swordmaster was released. You can read it if you want more detail, and the build fits the Deft Aidmaster combo in it with no trouble at all.
Since One For All is a level 1 feat, you can also add this whole mixture to any Charisma-based character by level 8 or so, assuming a Free Archetype game.
Last but not least, we have Fake Out (AoN). This feat is... a lot. If the other two increased the efficiency of Aid by giving it 30 foot range, Fake Out at least doubles that, and also removes the action cost entirely. You just Aid, whenever you want, for only a reaction. There's technically the caveat of needing a loaded gun in your hand, but that's not a super harsh requirement for most characters — remember that Fake Out doesn't make you actually shoot the weapon. And after Treasure Vault added a sweet little thing called Gauntlet Bow (AoN), that restriction got even more negligible. You can shoot your Arquebus, and if it's going to end the turn unloaded, you Release one hand as a free action to make your Gauntlet Bow available. Fake Out with it, and next turn you regrip the gun as part of the Reload action. Voilà!
Adding Some Spice
We learned how to make Aid do a double boost to bot h ourselves and an ally, and how to make it more efficient. There's just one problem left now: making it more consistent. Early game, beating that DC 20 can be quite hard, and if you're a Wit Swash using it for Panache, you'll have to beat a Very Hard DC of your level. We also want to crit this as much as possible to gain the improved bonus from Swordmaster.
That's where Cooperative Nature (AoN) comes into play. A feat that you might have read over and skipped on 20 different Human characters by now. But this time, it just clicks. It gives a plus four circumstance bonus to Aid checks. No conditions, no anything. I don't think we have a feat making you this much better at a single thing anywhere else in the game.
This lets us pass an Aid check on a natural 9, at level 1, assuming a trained thing and an 18 stat. And it only gets better from there. As a level 3 Swashie, with Expert on Diplomacy and a little skill item? You have a +15 with Coop Nature, so you succeed on a 5 and crit on a 15. At level 7, with Master on the check, you only fail on a 1 because of the nat 1 rules, and you crit it on a natural 8. Even that pesky Very Hard DC to get Panache is doable rolling a 6. Oh and did I mention the crit bonus to your ally increases to +3 by now? Yeah, this thing scales like crazy.
If you really hate Humans or something, Intuitive Cooperation (AoN) is a weaker version of the aforementioned feat. A +2 bonus is nice, but given that a +4 is available for a similar cost, you might consider whether you want to have been adopted by a Human instead.
Going Overboard
I mentioned most of the "normal" synergies already, and I'm sure you can think of many interesting things to do with those. But if you're in a go-crazy Free Archetype game, and you woke up feeling particularly munchkin-y today, I have a couple of forbidden techniques to add before we're done.
Swordmaster adds a big circumstance bonus to a single attack, huh? Then what if we grab a Repeating Crossbow (AoN) on our Fake Out Gunslinger and add Eldritch Archer (AoN) on top? Or just go Gunslinger MC + Aidmaster on our Starlit Span Magus instead, with a Gauntlet Bow and a Shortbow. At that point we're basically doing this.
Maybe we're particularly unhappy about the state of spell attacks, and we grab Swashbuckler MC + One For All + Aidmaster on something like a Divine Sorcerer or an Oracle. We can Heroism ourselves before combat, do One For All + a debuff, and on the next round we use a True Strike we stole from somewhere and cast Searing Light on a pesky demon. I almost feel bad for them. If you think only hitting Demons is a bit situational, grab a Wand of Dazzling Rays (AoN) to turn Searing Light into a strong CC spell. Or just use some other attack spell.
For a last little thing, if you're feeling odd and even more Cooperative™, you can grab One For All and Intimidating Strike (AoN) on a Fighter, buy some Fear Gems (AoN), set yourself up with Aidmaster and then have a huge chance of making someone frightened 3 with no saving throw. Heck, use a Sword or a Hammer to also make them flat footed! At this point, why not?

Zelle preferred. Prices are shipped and insured, dibs rules apply. Offers welcome, I’m open to trades as well, but cash is king. Let me know if pricing is off.
KAC Titusville M4 RIS
11/23/05, probably one of the last Ris Rails Kac made. Perfect for a Mk18 Mod 0, or older M4 clone. It now has the top screw, I got KAC to replace it. The bottom is also a legit RIS bottom, just painted. Comes with a Titusville marked Kac grip, as well as 4 panels, 2 11 rib, and 2 3 rib.
$360 shipped/insured
Ergo Rail Extension
I was going to use this for a clone build, but I always have to much dip on my chip. This was painted by the previous owner and stripped, but there is some on the screws still. Make your wet cloner dreams come true with this!
$75
Misc Parts
Tango Down Stubby Grip Black
$55
Aero Carbine Buffer Kit (new takeoff), comes with castle nut and previously staked endplate.
$50
Mbussy Sights
$60
Magpul SL stock black (new takeoff)
$45
Magpul Moe Grip/Metal Magpul Trigger guard
$35
KAK Muzzle device, Forward blast regulator?
$25
ADD ONS only:
Vortex T1 Footprint Mount, Black. Looks unused.
$10
Some Kind of KAC style Vert Grip, but quality than P&S honestly. Didn’t work with my A.R.M.S. rail.
$10
Magpul XTM Rail covers
$5 each box of 4
Milspec Charging Handle
$5

Getting out of airsoft after getting back in, played last in 2014. Don't have the time.
Everything was fielded once, so still in stellar condition
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G&G - Combat Machine CM16 Raider 2.0E Long (Black) w/ Polarstar Kythera SA V2 HPA unit, semi only. Polarstar MRS Red w/ line & 90/4500 ninja tank, hydro march 2021. $600 for the bundle (https://imgur.com/ELSsFKI) (Will part the tank + reg out for $200, or gun for $450)
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G&G CM16 Raider 2.0 AEG w/ MLOK Handguard (Tamiya Plug) $160 (https://imgur.com/J5dtIuG) Can include a battery free of charge
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KWA Pink mag bundle $25 (https://imgur.com/4Th1jFE)
Krytac 150rd M4 Mags $65 (https://imgur.com/krClphD)
Virtue VIO Ascend Full Face Goggles $65 (https://imgur.com/nogOszG)
ESSEyePro Influx Pivot Team Wendy Goggles Kit + Mouthguard $100 (https://imgur.com/arlQtuB)
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60+ flair on GunAccessoriesForSale and 70+ flair on Legomarket

Tesla Winning victims.
u/MUI-Tojo Account Goes Sayonara And New One Has Something That Honors Tesla, Also Tweets BTS Is Mid
u/Nazipartymember149 Perfumes His Asshole
u/Said0n Spicy Brunhilde Art
u/Tenzen1 2 Shots Of Hot Sauce.
u/Snoop_Wolff Pee Drinking
u/PimpDaddyEzio Toilet Paper Consumpiton(He's The OG)- Replaced with u/Whack-Around
u/Globofchaos Drinking Bottle Of Shui
u/ParanormalBeluga Zapping Himself With 1M Volts(He's Beelzebub wannabe)
u/ShadowKaras 1000+ Fanfic TeslaXBeel Porn
u/Kalkujlator A Spoon Of Wasabi Nom Nom
u/The3nlightened0ne Donation To Mysterious Weeb
u/TheKnightGame Dick Photo Posting
u/PositiveAd4403 Smut Lu BuxThor(xLoki) Fanfic
u/EmptyWorldliness907 Saying Nikola Tesla For 24 Hours Straight
u/Total-Win-2000 Saying 'No' In 50 Different Languages
u/Vind246 200 Pushups
u/Axearon Drinks 1L of Rakija(Regardless of the winner)
u/trenxman-new-ac Dance In Maid Outfit And Plague Doctor Mask On TikTok
u/Fun-Establishment146 His Friends Becomes His Slave For A Week
u/cowboy_andreww Printing Poster Of Tesla
u/Fatebetweenus Shows IP Adress
u/gladiatorbenny Drinks TWO Whiskey Bootles In 10 Minutes And A Shot Of Tequilla In Between(Repeat If Won't Make It In Time)
u/Joji_Narushima Deletes An Account
u/Stark8933 Invests In Tesla(5 Shares, (It's Around 1000$))
u/Scrimpychart27 Drinks Water
u/Anxious_Line_5152 Fanart Of Tesla
u/SixFootHalfing Defends Any Hot Take Of My Choice
u/Hot-Measurement243 Makes A Pun With Every RoR Character Name And User Pseudo
u/115_zombie_slayer Buys Tesla(We Will Find Out Later What He Means)
u/Cafeciencia Tesla Voice Acting(One Line, Preferably NO, NON, NEM, NEIN)
u/SettChad55 Pulls Up To The Gym In Raiden Cosplay
u/propro91 Will Reveal His God Roster
u/Analldevestation432 Tries To Break His Uncles's Record Of Drinking 10 Cans Of Beer In One Sitting
u/tortillazaur Shaves His Beard
u/thunderliscious Burns I-Phone Box
u/Vayrox_Ayp Studies And Read More
u/SHWauthor Consumes The Hat(Literally)
u/Surprise_Yasuo Eats At Least 3 Very Spicy Wings
u/Jays_Theboss Down An Entire Bottle Of Milk
u/jawadark Becomes Vegan For A Week
u/sudowoogo Drinks Pee
u/Martrix361 Buys 'Sex With Hitler' Game On Steam
u/pocoloco20 Writes An Essay About Tesla In Collage
u/Lord-Baldomero Spits To The Sun
u/Spiralhedface Will Ask A Coworker Out
u/UmotakuDBR Draws Tesla And Gondull Together
u/Jays_Theboss Writes A Smut Fanfic Of Most Mismtached Ships
u/shmoopyldoopy Draws Poseidon-Raiden Twerk-off(SFW)
u/theurougung Eats 12 Carolina Reaper Wings Without Milk
u/MR-Vinmu Will Draw Hilde Pegging Hermes
u/Suppasandwhich Gets Tesla Panel Tattoo
u/Hyperion_360 Makes Hades X Aphordite Doujin
u/Pr0Rad4r Chugs 3L Of Juice(Limit 20 Minutes, Repeats If Fails)
u/The_FuneralKing Cosplays Hades
u/Ruisus Makes A +18Fanfic MeXMysticAGV(100K Words+)
u/ItzelChoi Makes NSFW Sketch Of Tesla And Abriged Episode Of RoR
u/NoAdministration4445 Cosplays Beel And Posts It
u/The_realest_medel Breaks His Nose
u/Used_Mammoth7164 Drinks Mother's Green Smoothies For A Month
u/MemeLordMario21 Touches Grass(Epic One)
u/_IrisPlays_ Goes For Next Open-Book Calculus With Brian Only
u/K-Wun Changes Flair To Tesla And Bio To 'Tesla Is Love, Tesla Is Life'
u/shadowy_venomous Draws Spicy Shiva X Raiden Art
u/anxnickk Destroys 800$ Guitar(Or Gives It To Someone)
u/RedIshGrape Makes Spicy Loki Art
u/youngyuewong Runs 30KM Around Local Park
u/miskoviccc5 Visits Tesla Grave And Hang His Manga Picture In Front Of Tesla House
u/DarkKinto Will Talk To His Crush
u/Fatbabyinthearea2 Takes STEM Strand For Engineering
u/Itsrisas Gonna Rank Every Single Panel Tesla Is On(With Reasons)
u/thelex0623 Watches 'The Room' 3 Times
u/insert_epic_hahahere Comes Out To Their Parents(Probably As A Reddit*r)
u/Jafuncle Creates A Shoey(Drink In Recently Worn Shoe Full Of Pepsi+Milk)
u/Any-Culture8080 Buys ANY Manga For His Mom(To Be Determined)
u/Alternative_Year_400 Makes Tesla Theme Cupcakes
u/ljdollins Leaks His IP
u/benin_here2005 Creates Disgusting Concotion Of Food From Fridge
u/PhantomOrbia Writes A Fanfic On Wattpad
u/Eurasiafirmi Writes (Hundred Words) Rhymed Poem About Telsa
u/Comfortable_Clue8427 Writes 500 Words(Minimum) Essay About Tesla
u/modusoperandi8234 Downloads MGR:R
u/Scrimpychart27 Eats 3 Ghost Peppers
u/Diablo_Primal Confesses To His Crush
u/Ok_Pressure4371 Gonna Put ''Nikola Tesla The Goat'' On May Physics Exam.
u/Strange_Success_6530 Performs English Cover Of One Of RoR Openings.
u/ZayOnTime Won't Play Video Games For A Week
u/LurkinInAJerkin Reads And Review 10 Chosen RoR Fanfics
u/OrionWingSouth Makes A Shitty Typeset Of Tenkaichi
u/SpiritGun98 Changes Flair To Tesla Till R9 Fighters Are Revealed
u/Radracon42069 Kisses The Girl He Likes
u/Tynehw Eats A Sheet Of A4 Paper
u/SpookieSkelly Starts Watching One Piece(Is Real) Since Beginning And Write Video Essay For Each Arc
u/h____________o Writes 5 Pages Essay Why Tesla Needed and Deserved To Win
u/Skoll_sun_eater Creates Multiple Tier Lists On Every Possible Stat With Every Character
u/Scorch301 (Moderator) Voting On Sub On A New Flair
u/Reshiboii Screams Name Of His Crush At School's Stage
u/dim66 Makes A Short DnD Campaign And Write A Post For Every Fight
u/thecatcher1716 Shaves His Moustache
u/RisingFist69 Platinum's WWE 2K20 Without Any Patches/Updates
u/Helix1808 Reads Whole Spy X Family Manga
u/magalahi670 Eats Picture Of Beelzebub
u/Mael_The_Heretic Writes R9 Fanfic
u/Icy-Humor2907 Goes To School In A Full Cosplay(Jack Probably)
u/pendrag0nidas Eats A Random Page From The Divine Comedy
u/ChemiXZ Makes RoR AMV
u/HamsterBig2946 During Test Shouts ''I'm Demon Lord Of The Sixth Heaven"
u/Anomaly200 Draws Fan Matchup Of Self Chosing
u/Historical-Oil-1495 Eats Two Burgers With Whole Bootle Of Tabasco Sauce On Them(No Water)
u/PurePurpIe Draws A Fanart Of Tesla and Edison Kissing
u/Zorofanboy2006 Makes A Video Presenatation About Any RoR Topic
u/Fatbabyinthearea2 Goes For Highest Possible Math Marks At School
u/Splendid-Hat Makes An Art Of Crying Adamas
u/UndeadWeeb Puts Tesla Sitcker On Laptop
u/Vast-Logia Downs A Gallon Of Water
u/ZenoGeno Gets Same Tattoo Hades Has On An Arm
u/Ok_Researcher_5372 Head Slam Into A Table
u/MrMiyagiIs Buys A Fly Costume A Goes Bowling In Public
u/Different-Case-6859 Goes To School With ''Beel Lost'' Written On A Forehead
u/Full_Awareness5171 Drinks 2 Whiskey Bootles and 1000MG Edible
u/Harem_Weeb Buys A Poseidon Body Pillow
u/Ultimateeinherjer Colors ALL CHAPTERS Of The Manga, Including New Ones And Bonuses
u/Natural-Cash7578 Makes Tesla Theme Cupackes
u/Independent_Mango291 Twerks Butt Body Naked And Oiled Brandon The Erotic Barber
u/Odd-Cheetah-9021 Draws A Smexy Version Of Any Chosen Characters
u/----Poseidon--- Gets His GF Pregnant
u/Banettebrochacho Gets Asks Someone To A Prom
u/xenoparakeet Gives A Friend 10 Bucks
u/Pretend-Dirt-1760 Donates Blood
u/Dormotaka Reads First 20 Chapters Of Recommened Novel(Royal Road)
124 Bets
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Beelzebub Winning Victims
u/FirefighterThick2798 Account Goes Adios
u/RevolutionarySell183 Account Goes ByeBye And New Has Something That Honors Beel
u/Omni_UT Account Goes Arrivederci Creates New One Honoring Beel
u/Glum-Phase-7783 Account Goes Dasvidania
u/trenxman-new-ac Dances In Maid Outfit And Plague Doctor On TikTok
u/cowboy_andreww Makes Lifesize Cardboard With Beel(Most Likely In Maid Dress)
u/Axearon Drinks 1L of Rakija(Regardless of the winner)
u/Fun-Establishment146 Becomes His Friend Slave For A Week
u/Fatebetweenus Posts Whatever On Subreddit(No NSFW)
u/Present-Ad8471 Plays Cyberpunk Without Patches On PS4 And Does All Side Missions
u/chngrozd Sits On A Bootle
u/Kitchen_List4982 Records Himself Shitting His Pants
u/BlckSm12 Unistalls LoL For 6 Months(Touches Some Grass)
u/Efficient-Driver-2453 Cooks And Tries To Eat His Shoe
u/No-Juggernaut-5847 Drops Super Rare Roblox Item(For Free)
u/luigigamer111 Two Spoons Of Wasabi Eaten
u/Recent_Ad3472 Drops Out From Medical School And Becomes Scientist
u/YoYoMoM911 Eats Chocolate Chip Dipped In Mustard
u/gladiatorbenny Drink An Entire Whiskey Bottle In 10 Minutes(Repeat If Won't Make It In Time)
u/Scrimpychart27 Drinks Water
u/Anxious_Line_5152 Makes Fanart Of Beel
u/ShiroYaksha97 Writing 20K Words Essay On Chosen Topic
u/vietnam1224 Shoot One Of His Model Kits Off Balcony Using A Nerf Gun(Video Goes To Me)
u/Axearon Gets Beelzebub Tattoo(Lilith's One)
u/Cafeciencia Beel Voice Acting(One Line)
u/ApplePitou Not Using :3 For A Day
u/WoollyShapeshifter Hades Drawing
u/Benihiko Eats 2 Spoons Of Mayo
u/Fidges87 Makes #TeslaDead On Twitter
u/MeguminKunExeplosian Makes Friend Post Some Spicy Hilde Art(With Hades)
u/Vayrox_Ayp Hits The Gym And Write More
u/PhantomOrbia Searches Entire Constelations
u/Surprise_Yasuo Eats At Least 3 Very Spicy Wings
u/Jays_Theboss Down An Entire Bottle Of Milk
u/Lord-Baldomero Spits To The Sun
u/Globofchaos Fanfic About Beel, Adamas and Tesla Having A Pillowfight
u/Spiralhedface Will Ask A Coworker Out
u/UmotakuDBR Will Draw Beelzebub And Lilith Together
u/Jays_Theboss Writes A Smut Fanfic Of Most Mismtached Ships
u/Ok-Reporter3256 Writes 5K Word Plot For R9 Fighters
u/Diabetic88 Attempts To Draw Chosen Character
u/No_Satisfaction_2928 Never Posts On Subreddit Again
u/Pr0Rad4r Chugs 3L Of Juice(Limit 20 Minutes, Repeats If Fails)
u/The_FuneralKing Cosplays Rasputin(When He Shows Up)
u/Deigapan Publishes Adam And Eve RP(In 2 Languages)
u/SideCharacter2421 Makes Round 8 Edit AmiasD Style An Post It On YT
u/ItzelChoi Makes NSFW Sketch Of Beelzebub
u/Kaged200 Gets Slapper By 5 Friends(And Records It)
u/No-Juggernaut 5847-Doing 3000 Pushups In 2 Weeks
u/Subject-Secret 6230-Shows Parents Raiden VS Shiva Fight And Tells Shiva Lost
u/anxnickk Gives 10$ To Zero Enjoyer
u/Vertemain Drink A Glass Of Vinegar
u/Coffeesquirrel1346 100 Face Slaps(Full Force) On Camera
u/furof Tweets BTS Is Mid
u/JustRemka Eats At Chiptole For One Lunch
u/Fatbabyinthearea2 Takes HUMMS Strand To Become Therapist
u/Useful_Plant9840 Leg Month(Not A Single Day Break)
u/thelex0623 Watches 'The Room' 3 Times
u/yushakoe1 Deletes All Steam Games
u/Levis045 Watches ANYTHING Chosen By Friend
u/Alternative_Year_400 Creates Low-Quality Satan Comic
u/ljdollins Goes To Church Right After Work
u/Pintitled_Ploose Eats Toilet Paper
u/PhantomOrbia Writes A Fanfic On Wattpad
u/modusoperandi8234 Downloads DMC 5
u/pollo_mann Doesn't Eat For 3 Days
u/Any-Culture8080 Best 50 Euro On Beel Winning
u/Majestic_Cow706 Reads 1400 Chapters Of Hajime No Ippo In Less Than 2 Weeks(Then Voices Opinion About It, 8-10 Sentences Per Arc)
u/Globofchaos Writes A Fanfic About Edison Stealin' Gondul From Tesla
u/G2_Izan Writes 5 Pages Essay Why Beelzebub Needed and Deserved To Win
u/CubicG Does BWW Blazing Challenge(10 Blazing Wings) And Try To Max Out On Bench After
u/thecatcher1716 Styles His Moustache Like Jack The Ripper
u/djswope94 Gets A RoR Related Tattoo On Arm
u/Subject-Secret-6230 100%'s GTA V On A Console Without Aim Assist In The First Person Non Stop
u/ur_Void Doesn't Use Reddit For A Month
u/Sea_Aerie1052 Makes A Roster Of Islamic Fighters
u/magalahi670 Eats A Picture Of Tesla
u/Recent_Ad3472 Watches Velma Series And Chosen Movie, Series.
u/glueinass Makes A Romance Fanfic Of Two Opponets In A Random Round
u/G2_Izan Divorces His Wife And Ask Other Girl Out
u/Anomaly200 Draws A Fan Matchup
u/Zorofanboy2006 Makes A Video Presenatation About Any RoR Topic
u/Fatbabyinthearea2 Buys A Bible And Tries To Finish It
u/pejic222 Gonna Translate Entire Series To Croatian
u/Strange_Success_6530 Starts To Refer To All Greek Gods By Their Roman Names
u/KirbyTheGodSlayer Writes A 1K Word Cursed Ship Fanfiction. Uses Clown Emojis Instead In All Of Comments For A Week. ALSO, Gonna Post Why Tesla Solos Anime Verses(On Their Respective Subs)
u/UndeadWeeb Draws Beel And Call Him ''Big, Hot, Sexy Beast''
u/Vast-Logia Drinks A Whole Bottle Of Hot Sauce(Da Bomb)
u/Splendid-Hat Makes A Complete Fanfic Of Fan-Made Roster
u/ZenoGeno Gets A 6Pack By July
u/Pissaia_ Installs Leagu* O* Leg*nds
u/Ok_Researcher_5372 Asks Crush Out And Posts Recording
u/No-Cantaloupe-7836 Eats A Raw Onion
u/Full_Awareness5171 Drinks 2 Whiskey Bootles,
u/Mr_EZ_sk Takes An Entire Gulp Of An Apple Cider Vinegar
u/PsychologicalCry6203 Wears Clothes Of Friend's Choice And Takes A Picture Wearing Them
u/Quintilos-Prime Makes An Extremely Cursed Fanfic Of 2 Previous Fighters
u/Natural-Cash7578 Makes Beelzebub Theme Cheesecake
u/Explorador_da_web Won't Create Posts On The Sub
u/Crispy_Godfries Ask Crush Out
u/SunnyHoney3 Eats A Whole Pizza
u/Kitchen_List4982 Shits His Pants And Ask 5 Girls Out
97 Bets
​
Draw Occurring Victims
u/MUI-Tojo Account Goes Sayonara And New One Has Something That Honors Tesla, Also Tweets BTS Is Mid
u/Omni_UT Account Goes Arrivederci Creates New One Honoring Beel
u/Content-Sundae5941 Account Goes Au Revoir
u/Sydfxs Suck His Own PP
u/denisochka_off Shits In Cat's Tray
u/Skrypa9900 Watches Boku No Pico
u/dumb_breakfast Whole Container Of Vanilla Extract Devouring
u/Anxious_Line_5152 Fanart Of Beel VS Tesla
u/Cafeciencia Voice Acts Both
u/Lord-Baldomero Spits To The Sun
u/theurougung 12 Carolina Reaper Wings No Milk(If Tesla Is The One Who Falls Later)
u/The_FuneralKing Cosplays Loki
u/furof Tweets That BTS Is Mid
u/ljdollins Leaks Secret Donal Trump Photos(We're Probably Gonna Get Fucked By Secret Service)
u/modusoperandi8234 Downloads DMC 5 AND MGR:R
u/Reshiboii Screams Name Of His Crush At School's Stage
u/G2_Izan Divorces His Wife And Ask Other Girl Out
u/Anomaly200 Draws Two Fan Matchups(One of Self Chosing)
u/Nazipartymember149 Posts Most Embarassing Moments Of His Life
u/Strange_Success_6530 Does Loki Fan-Art
u/ZenoGeno Gets 6Pack By July And Hades Tattoo
u/MrMiyagiIs Eats A Piece Of A Sand Paper
u/Full_Awareness5171 Drinks 2 Whiskey Bootles,
u/Natural-Cash7578 Makes Both If They Both Live or Neither If Both Die
u/SunnyHoney3 Drinks 2L's Of Beer And Smoke 2 Joints
u/shadowy_venomous Draws Spicy Shiva Raiden Art
u/That_Promise_7169 Eats A Dollar
27 Bets
​
Others
u/Nazipartymember149 If Satan Doesn't Appear-Posts Especially Bad Photo Of Self
u/Nazipartymember149 If Satan Appears-Hands A Tribute To Hajun
u/Exelior_ Grows The Beard(If Round Ends Next Chapter)
u/Recent_Ad3472 Drink 2 Liters Of Expired Soda If Beelzebub Doesn't Have Planet Level Attack Stronger Than Chaos
u/PhantomOrbia Bets A Guitar(?), Bet Not Specified, Needs More Info

If i'd be gived the chance to redesign Nahida's kit, i'll be swapping her tap skill to burst, hold skill to charged attack, and her burst to skill.
I don't hate her kit as is, i really like it, because of her supreme dendro application. Maxed her out since release and i enjoy playing her that she never leaves my team. I only feel that these personal changes would improve her with regards to what I observe is comfortable for her playstyle.
Here it is:
Normal Attack: Akara
Normal Attack Performs up to 4 attacks that deal Dendro DMG to opponents in front of her.
When held, she will enter aiming mode, marking opponents within sight with Seed of Skandha
Charged Attack Consumes certain amount of stamina to aim Capture, which will allow you to select a limited number of opponents within a limited area. (refer to Jean's skill) During this time, Nahida's resistance to interruption will be increased. When released, this skill deals Dendro DMG to these opponents and marks them with the Seed of Skandha. Aiming Mode will last up to 5s and can select a maximum of 8 opponents.
Seed of Skandha Opponents who have been marked by the Seed of Skandha will be linked to one another up till a certain distance. After you trigger Elemental Reactions on opponents who are affected by the Seeds of Skandha or when they take DMG from Dendro Cores, Nahida will unleash Tri-Karma Purification on the opponents and all connected opponents, dealing Dendro DMG based on her ATK and Elemental Mastery.
Plunging Attack Calling upon the might of Dendro, Nahida plunges towards the ground from mid-air, damaging all opponents in her path. Deals AoE Dendro DMG upon impact with the ground.
Elemental Skill: Illusory Heart
Manifests the Court of Dreams and expands the Shrine of Maya.
When the Shrine of Maya field is unleashed, the following effects will be separately unleashed based on the Elemental Types present within the party. ·Pyro: the DMG dealt by Tri-Karma Purification from "All Schemes to Know" is increased. ·Electro: the interval between each Tri-Karma Purification is decreased. ·Hydro: The Shrine of Maya's duration is increased.
If there are at least 2 party members of the aforementioned Elemental Types present when the field is deployed, the aforementioned effects will be increased further.
These bonuses will still take effect so long as party members are within the Shrine of Maya.
Elemental Burst: All Schemes to Know
Sends forth karmic bonds of wood and tree from her side, dealing AoE Dendro DMG and marking up to 8 opponents hit with the Seed of Skandha.
When Shrine of Maya is present, the Tri-Karma Purification triggered through her Seeds of Skandha will be considered as Elemental Skill dmg, otherwise, Tri-Karma Purification will be considered as Charged Atk dmg
(Initial Cast will deal Dendro dmg. The radius of effect's range is similar to the range of her aiming mode)
A1 Passive: Compassion Illuminated
When unleashing Illusory Heart, the Shrine of Maya will gain the following effects:

1. The Elemental Mastery of the active character within the field will be increased by 25% of the Elemental Mastery of the party member with the highest Elemental Mastery. You can gain a maximum of 250 Elemental Mastery in this manner.

(Add:) 2. Health pool of the active character within the field will increase by 15% of their max hp when their hp reaches 50% or below. An additional 5% of hp every second for 3sec will be healed when conditions are met.
Additional:
Alternate Sprint Skill: Dhyaana
She suspends her mind and body into nirvana, entering a tranced state. Using her sprint allows her to swiftly traverse the land through dendro energy.
A2 Passive: Awakening Elucidated, On All Things Meditated and All Constellations remain the same.
Multipliers, skill durations and CD stay the same.
Why I prefer this playstyle? Simply to consider the comfort of fighting with her as well as considering the enemy mechanics among easy to hard contents.
Her main balancing point would be the stamina management. She consumes stamina similar to jean's held skill, the longer you aim, the more she decreases her stamina. But having the access to apply Seed of Skandha through her Charged Atk without relying on energy capacity and cooldowns can make her viable as on-field damage dealer. This is true when she fights against Hydro and Electro enemies who can both defunct her skill and burst. Her only enemy in this role would be Cryo opponents who will reduce her stamina. But you really don't bring Dendro against Cryo enemies. If you do, that's when support Nahida plays.
If she applies Seed of Skandha in a wide range through her burst and provide enormous support through Shrine of Maya's EM buff and minimal healing using e skill, she becomes easier to play in combat. Her presence will be seamless with skill castings and swapping.
Also, I can already imagine her cuteness when she reappears after sprinting and then aim. It's quite hard for me to keep her on errands because of her short legs. I'll usually just swap her in and out, but if she had an alt sprint, she'll be my ultimate farming buddy. It's also an honor to her lore as an all-seeing and all-knowing god, who doesn't show her corporal self frequently.
That's all. Thanks for staying!

Although EoSF is considerably the best in slot artifact for Yelan, I really despise farming that domain and get trash main/substats. Currently my Yelan isn't fully built yet and just borrows mixed-and-matched artifacts from zhongli, nilou and xingqiu 😅
Since the upcoming 3.6 both offers hp and hydro damage for the 2-pc bonus, I was wondering if farming the domain is worth it for yelan?? I mean it's like a win-win for her since both hp and hydro dmg both improves her overall kit (and not only burst vs EoSF).
P.S. i do have an unbuilt ayato and childe who can use spare artifacts as well

Now we all like it when units get better with constellations. But sometimes in my opinion it is annoying when you need constellations to have a smoother gameplay (Hu Tao) or to have something in their kit "fixed" (Dehya). This is sort of a "character c0 appreciation post". These are the units I think that are already perfect at c0 from oldest to newest, feel free to agree or disagree
​

• Venti

Now all Venti does is suck (literally). His burst is the best crowd control in the game, although it can be annoying since it lifts enemies too high. His constellations are arguably one of the most useless for a 5 star as it does almost nothing. I don't know why his c1 exists while the only good one minus the talent level up is c6. He already does what he needs to at c0 which makes him perfect at c0.
​

• Tartaglia

Back when he was released, people said c6 is needed but nowadays everyone knows how to play him (I hope but I doubt it). Now his cons are just alright. This might be unpopular but I would argue that his c1 is pretty good as it makes the rotations easier. Not needed, but not as bad either. He opens up plenty of comps too, as he works with most off field units since he is hydro. His c4 is also actually good in my opinion as it makes him much more versatile. Childe is mainly used as a hydro on field enabler and at c0 he's already fast and amazing at it hence why International is amazing. His cons are mainly for comfort.
​

• Zhongli

Zhongli is really only used as a shield bot but people should try burst dps too, since his shield is already strong even with a shield and burst hybrid build. Anyways, getting constellations for him will improve him but really, most people just use his already strong at c0 shield so there's no point in getting cons. His c2 only really works in co-op, his c4 is only good if you also build him as a burst dps (like me) while c6 makes him a healer. But like.... why heal when you have a shield. Rifthounds? Bring a proper healer maybe?
​

• Albedo

What even is his constellations honestly it's abysmal except for maybe c2. Albedo is really only used to do off field dmg but his burst can increase EM, which is nice but it's split scaling so ouch. This makes his c1 useless. His c4 should've been given to Xiao cause it's also useless for him cause you would rarely find a situation where you need to go on his slow ass elevator and plunge. His c6 is probably the most underwhelming limited 5 star c6.
​

• Kazuha

We all know Kazuha is already good at c0, good crowd control, good burst yadayadayada. I was thinking if I should add him or not cause on one hand, he's already good at c0. But on the other, his c2 is amazing. Others are aight and his c6 is really only good if you wanna make him a dps. I still decide to add him cause although his c2 is good, he's already perfect at c0.
​

• Raiden

Raiden is another character I'm not sure if I should add. She's the same as Kazuha where she's already good at c0 (sub dps, energy, other) but at the same time her c2 is amazing. I think her c1 is alright but her c4 is meh. As for c6 it's pretty damn good, but not as good as other c6. Her cons are worth it but she's already good at c0.
​

• Kokomi

Kokomi is mainly used for her off field hydro and healing and it already works at c0. Iirc, her burst mainly boosts her dmg but most people just use her as a support so her cons are pretty useless unless if you want her to do damage or be a dps.
​

• Nahida

Nahida is the 3rd character I was contemplating on adding or not. Cause she's basically like Raiden. Works perfect at c0 but has an amazing c2 and all of her cons are great to have. But since this is about being perfect at c0, I decided to still add her as she's still great at what she does at c0. But tbh her cons being very good made me not wanna add her here.... oh well.
​

• Alhaitham

Alhaitham is arguably one of the best dps in the game at c0. His c1 is kinda like Childe's where it decreases his cd which is not needed, but makes the rotation easier so it's nice to have. His other cons are meh but his c6 is good, so I heard. But it's not needed when he already does what he needs to do at c0 and is good at it too. But overall, nice cons to have.
​
Anyways that's the end of it. Who else am I missing? I didn't add Yelan cause although amazing at c0, she does struggle a bit at making Hu Tao vape due to icd (which is why she's always paired with Xingqiu).

First-Previous
​
Novelty.
It had all been a novelty.
He’d spent most of his life in the city, and where he had experienced the countryside it hadn’t been… complete, he supposed. As an MP he had been stationed wherever the men were. He’d seen the Belgian and French villages where the soldiers bunked, but those places had been dead. Or maybe not dead, it would’ve been more accurate to say they were frozen.
The farmers had either fled or joined the enemy, the women had either gone with them or hid away in their houses, the animals were pilfered either on High Command’s orders or by the average enlisted, and the children had all been evacuated for safety.
Meaning that those places were… lifeless, yes, lifeless. The dirt was undisturbed, the gardens overgrew their boundaries, the stables were all left empty, and the hamlets became nothing more than a simple barracks with all the associated activities.
But this place… it was filled with life.
Instead of the stink of unwashed bodies, the air choked with the smell of freshly plowed dirt, animal manure, and the ever-present damp from the irrigation. When he wished to go somewhere, the roads he walked were unpaved, and instead of being able to take a streetcar, he was relegated to horseback.
It all had been a novelty, but after two days, said novelty had worn off.
It had all become thoroughly grating. Every detail, every small thorn, it all infuriated him. The villagers eyed him with suspicion, their submission to the noble rankled his politics, and their ignorant habits rubbed his own in the exact way to cause anger.
But then there was him.
“There, right there!”
“Yes sir, I see the damage. How can you be sure that-“
“Damn you man! How many times have I told you that my people would never steal from me!?”
“Sir…” Hoehne drifted off, stifling his frown before readjusting in the saddle, then, as though the thing had tightened to annoy him, his uniform’s collar.
“There must be something you can do! Have the bloody outsiders already castrated our Emperor’s men!?” Hoehne had to give the man credit. Despite his visible agitation he managed to not raise his voice, sitting perfectly on the line between a stern rebuke and a snarl.
“Sir, I can report your complaints, but I cannot act on them until I get back to Hamburg. After that, it is out of my hands. The women decide what the bureaucracy is focused on.”
“You trust women to handle affairs?”
Hoehne stifled the groan, his agitation mandating that he fiddle with his kit.
“Sir, it is not a matter of trust, it is a matter of me being forced. They are my superiors in rank, while you are my superior in only class.” Ah, the perfect hidden dagger for dealing with both old men and with nobles, and especially when they are one and the same. Acknowledge superiority, while stating submission to military order.
Said man, ‘Herr’ Weizenbauer, squirmed atop his mount, his gray mustache quivering as he glared off at the broken fence.
“Then it matters not, victory or defeat, Germany still circles the drain?”
“It appears so sir. I give you my word that I will-“ both of them jumped, an unnatural series of rings filling the air as though a spirit had brought along their handbells. Hoehne was the first to recover, realizing it was the ‘omnipad’s signal for his attention.
And thus, an order.
With a bit more speed than one would expect of a conscript, he fumbled with the leather pouch and retrieved the glass rectangle, tapping excitedly with his fingers when he read Krises’s name on the alarm.
“Are you still a captive?” Bliss, perfect bliss, the dry sarcasm washing over him like water in the middle of the Sahara.
“Yes, what do you need?”
“Given his son’s tardiness, tell the head of House Weizenbauer he is required for a meeting in the Berlin Palace on October twelfth. Attendance is mandatory.”
And Hoehne’s water evaporated.
“Sir, I have been informed that you are needed in Berlin.” The old creature broke from glaring, looking at him with a bit of surprise.
“The thing has told you that? No matter, what is the need that I must attend to?”
“It does not say sir, only that you must attend a meeting in the Berliner Schloss on the twelfth of next month.”
The man glanced down for a moment, thinking, and then turned his wrinkled face back to Hoehne. “Never mind that, there truly is nothing in your power to deal with these bandits? Several of my boys have already volunteered. I have arms, powder, and shot, and they are all veterans. You could lead them, I doubt it would take more than a day.”
“Yes sir, I am sorry, I have already spent too much time here for my superiors liking. I must return to Hamburg.” He grumbled for a moment, frowning off at nothing before giving a single dismissive wave. Hoehne didn’t spare even a moment, not trusting the Noble to bring up yet another complaint, and thus another delay. With a bit more force than necessary the MP tugged on his horse’s reins, taking off down the dirt road at a brisk trot, only slackening in the saddle once he’d fully escaped the man.
Back to civilization.
-
She’d figured out how to describe it, or maybe not describe it, not perfectly, but she’d figured out how to… categorize it, yeah, that sounded right.
Reactive to active. Defensive to offensive. Bitter to sweet.
That was the transformation, like the doctors had replaced his brain, not his legs, and it showed her the galactic similarity.
Whether they were Shil’, Rakiri, Senthe, Gorkve, or Human, nobles are nobles.
Ma’tellie watched from her bench, Otto, the trains, the passengers, the conductors, the entire world, all of it acted correctly, until it would suddenly shift. One moment she would see the man in one place at the booth, speaking with the attendant, his posture making him look just a step from fully irate, the world would flash to darkness, and then he’d be in a new spot.
She needed a powernap, and Otto didn’t seem to be making any progress.
So, she simply leaned back on the bench.
“Ma’tellie! Wake-” Otto teleported, clicking his finger in her face and making her lurch awake.
“-You-” She couldn’t pick out the words, so she groggily reached for the translator and flicked it on.
“Are you okay?”
“Ah- Y-yeah- just…”
“It’s no matter, we’ll have to find a hotel.” He almost snarled the last word, continuing, “apparently the commoners have all lost their discipline. First that sergeant dared strike his… nevermind,” again, he practically snarled, but took a deep breath to regain himself.
“Something has happened, and the attendant won’t tell me what. There aren’t any trains East at this time. It seems we shall be delayed.” The bad news hardly hit her, and the frown that would’ve only been a resigned pout before barely even registered in her mind, the simple promise of a bed pressed it to the side. Though the frustration on the man’s face quickly vanished, Otto swapped to pure concern.
“You didn’t have to wait for me to wake up from the surgery. It is not proper for a woman to lose sleep over a man.” Her own heated up, and the exhaustion made the thought slip out of her mouth.
“I wanted to- Well- I wanted to see you smile.” The man flushed ever so slightly, before regaining his composure, “well… thank you. Now, let’s get you into a bed, come.”
Again, the change made itself apparent. He grabbed her hand, pulling her vertical before snatching their bags before she reached them, leading them both out of the station.
-
They were going to be late, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
The moment they entered the room, Ma’tellie charged for the bed. Tearing off her dress first, then her boots, her socks, and finally removing her underwear. She didn’t stop to throughout the process, she didn’t pay even an ounce of thought to the action, instead dropped each article of clothing as she half-ran, half-stumbled towards the mattress.
The immodesty put some heat on his face, but the trail of clothing turned it into humor, which became a full chuckle when she lay down, or more accurately, fell down, and immediately began snoring into the pillow. He went to remove his own shirt, but hesitated before unfastening the first button.
It wouldn’t be proper to join her uninvited, and even if the small couch had looked more comfortable, he didn’t think he was capable of sleeping.
The whole world was his!
He could use the stairs at his leisure, he could walk the street without a care, he could simply be without needing aid…
Otto turned to his own luggage, popping open the latches and searched through the clothing with quivering, excited hands. For the last five years he’d been in uniform, and in the past half a year he’d transitioned between the alien’s hospital wear, his work clothing, or said uniform without fail. Thus, pulling out his town-suit felt like pulling Excalibur from the stone. Only as he finished buttoning his collar did his hand brush his face, and another rush of excitement tore through him.
He hadn’t shaved himself in months!
He immediately began to search his luggage, before realizing that the razor would be with Ma’tellie’s things. Just as his hand reached the bag did another thought race to the forefront, giving him pause. He had been able to shave himself, at least had been able to after his hands had stopped quaking, but the woman had always insisted she do it. She’d always seemed to want to do it.
Perhaps… perhaps he could be an ape in a suit, at least for a day.
Maybe he could get a haircut while he was out? Though, what hairstyle would she have preferred? Father had always let mother cut his hair to her own liking; how did the men of her people keep theirs?
He decided against it, he’d ask when she woke.
At that he looked back towards her. Taking the opportunity to admire her form. The fact that she was both face down and spread eagle made the musculature in her back pop out and her breasts mushroom out from beneath her. Even her leg made her look more appealing, hanging half of the bed and pressing out her backside.
Otto couldn’t help the grin, only for an edge to slide across his heart.
He hadn’t done enough, he hadn’t… no, wasn’t treating her properly, not by a mile. Ma’tellie seemed satisfied with the… rendezvous, but that wasn’t proper. If he’d been casting judgement on a man doing exactly as he had, it would’ve been beyond critical.
No, he ought to… well, give her a gift? He wasn’t sure, perhaps something would come to him whilst testing his limbs.
-
She was out.
It wasn’t comfortable, it wasn’t quiet, it wasn’t loud, there were no vivid dreams, or any dreams at all, it was just… nothing.
Perfect nothing.
And it didn’t last.
The peace was tossed away… something was thumping on her skull like a hammer on the walls of a ship. She tried to ignore it, to furrow her brow against it, but it wouldn’t give up. Finally, it became too much for her, for her temper, and she snapped.
Opening her eyes felt like rolling up wet paper, the organs felt like they were covered in sludge, her throat felt hollowed out, her tongue had gotten too big for her mouth.
And she was furious.
Ma’tellie’s brain boiled with anger, and she immediately flipped onto her butt.
Only to melt.
“Grüß Gott!” Otto held a sausage into her face, and the smell of fat hit her. The surprise jammed her mind, and she stupidly stared at it. At that he shook it a little, waving it under her nose. She went to bite it, only for him to pull it away, waving her towards a full platter of food.
Goddess, she was hungry.
In the blink of an eye she was there, sliding into the chair, grabbing a meat-tube in each hand, and shoveling them into her mouth. When she finally pulled her face out of the pile, mainly to breathe, she saw that the noble was still standing by the bed, frozen in shock.
That had been a misstep! They- Their women are supposed to eat small porti-
The panic was swept away, the man’s warm laughter filling the air as he walked over to join her. He set her omnipad onto the table, put the sausage back onto its pile, and then pulled out a packet of little wooden firesticks. In his last act he lit what she recognized as ‘kerzen’, the four little fires sitting atop the wax sticks and covering the table in a yellow glow.
Huh, she hadn’t noticed the lights were off, and the sun had started to set.
What was he-
Otto pushed a napkin into her hand, laughing when she jumped, before pushing her omnipad into the now grease free palm. Ma’tellie was still half asleep, and still half stumbled with surprise, thus it took a moment of staring at the object to get over the confusion.
The translation app let out a beep, and he began speaking.
“How was your sleep? Sofija told me you raid the pantry and hide away to eat, so I went for a larger serving than I think either of us could manage. Your people do not eat alone, no?” Again, her head wasn’t cooperating, and after gawking at him for a few seconds her brain managed to formulate words.
“Oh! Uhhh, no, yes- I mean, yes, we eat together.”
“Wonderful, I also found us a treat or two.” He ducked down, returning with a bottle from beside his chair, flourishing the dark brownish item with a bit of pride.
“Have you tried Cognac?” The translator cut out the last word, indicating that it was a proper noun, while his absolutely glowing smile indicated it was a luxury. Ma’tellie responded by simply shaking her head, gesturing for the man to continue.
“A dessert, please, eat.” He gestured for her to continue, and Ma’tellie finally suppressed the hunger. It took a moment, but she found the fork and knife, grasping the ceramic handles and daintily continuing to eat. Though, she still practiced her usual caution, sneakily watching the man show how the specific dish was eaten.
He cut a slice off the sausage, using his fork to scoop a small amount of the yellowish seed paste onto it, before finishing the assembly with a larger scoop of the vegetables. With a sigh, she realized that she’d seen this one before, going through the motions of adding the ‘mustard’ and ‘sauerkraut’ together with each bite.
When she glanced back up from the meal, the man was watching her. His eyes glancing over her form as though he was gauging her reaction to the setup. Ma’tellie quickly turned back to the food, letting out an appreciative hum before looking back, a flutter going through her chest at Otto’s little smile.
“Are you feeling up for some activity after this?”
“Huh? What do you have planned?” The smile grew, and the man pulled more from under the table, flourishing them with the same pride as before.
“I’d- well, I visited the local barracks for a suit for you. I know how to swim, I thought we could go visit the Elbe, I could teach you how.”
She hid the surprise of course, beaming at him as she responded.
“You went into a- Wait, why do you assume I don’t know how to swim?” she couldn’t help the coy grin.
He didn’t hide his own, “ah. Well, I was going off my own experiences of course. I taught several of my own subordinates how so that we could more easily cross rivers. If I may be prideful, I would say I have gotten proficient in it. Is the sport more common among your kind?”
A plan immediately formed in her mind, “yes. You might still be able to show me a thing or two though.” Playing into his bias earned the best response she could’ve imagined. Otto straightened up more than his usual near-perfect posture, though it still didn’t overcome his discipline, he didn’t shake with excitement.
“Can I- we try the cognac? I’m interested.” That caught him off guard, the man jolting into motion as he reached back for the bottle, the now recognizable grin replacing the simple joy from before.
He looked like a naughty child.
“I suppose, no reason for formality if we have plans.” The bottle let out a popping noise as he pulled its plug, the glowing man producing two extremely small and almost ornate glasses. She thought that she should sip it slowly given the small portion, but the man tossed it back in one gulp, leading her to match him.
And she had to restrain the hack.
Strong, strong but familiar. Almost like a Red Grain but… matured, heavy. Still sweet, just a little bit thicker, and with a weaker taste of berries, but spicy. The strength of the alcohol combined with it to leave a burn from her lips all the way to her stomach.
When she blinked the tears away, the heat in her face became plasma.
He was grinning, hiding his laughter in his napkin, “sorry. I suppose I should have warned you. I’m guessing you won’t want another drink?” Even with the translator removing the inflections from his voice, his face still let the cheekiness leak through.
“No, I- I would like another.” He was still toothily grinning as he poured the next two, and when he turned back to his food, she decided to do the same.
And it was not to recover.
Deciding to stop being so reactive, Ma’tellie side eyed him as he ate, watching him drink the amber liquid and smile.
It was… different, not aimed at her, almost not even aimed at the drink itself. His eyes were a bit glossy, staring past the cup, and then past the world behind it.
“Is- Do you prefer that drink?” Otto snapped out of it, looking back at her and chuckling.
“No- well, it’s strange. I’m fond of this variety over all others, it is… special. I saw it in the shop and jumped to buy it.”
Ma’tellie would have to sneak that bottle away from him, or take a picture of it, could come in handy later.
“How’d you find out about it? It your father’s favorite?” That was comical to him, a single laugh escaping before he covered them with the back of his hand, “no. I imagine that father would turn his nose up at it for the sole reason that it comes from France. It was actually the British that led me to it.”
Bri- Oh! One of the powers that was in the war. Before she ask, he confirmed the thought.
“It must’ve been… Early fifteen if I remember correctly. We were scheduled to leave the line in a few days, and things were relatively quiet.” He paused, and she didn’t dare interrupt him. He’d never spoken on the fighting in any specifics, and watching his face roll over the memory left her giddy.
He didn’t show any pain.
“Just before the evening, a small shell landed out in no man’s land. Being the Lieutenant for that section I got called up of course, and we were on alert for an attack. Though none came, there wasn’t a single bomb for the rest of the evening. Now, we hadn’t know it at the time, but the battle lines were intersecting an old Chateau- ah, sorry, French estate. The rock of the area was chalky and hard, so the shell holes all filled up with water. When the blast hit, one of my Sergeants heard a crumbling noise and then the sound of water flowing, and quickly brought it to my attention.”
Again he paused, taking a breath and refilling his cup, quickly drinking it down with a shiver.
“Of course, I had to have it checked. If it was a British mining attempt then command had to be alerted, and things had been dull in the week prior, so I personally lead the expedition.” Ma’tellie caught herself leaning forwards, and didn’t correct herself when he noticed.
“When we happened upon it we certainly felt like fools, arriving to what we found was a cellar bristling with weapons. But instead of turning back, I chose to explore further, and thus we took our cutters and fashioned a rope from a decimated portion of razor wire. It felt like we were exploring some ancient dungeon, and the treasure we found only reinforced it.” At that he hefted the bottle, and when she quirked her head he chuckled.
“Three bottles of Cognac, resting in that place since before Little Napoleon took power.” Again she quirked her head, and he immediately corrected with, “ah. Sorry, eighteen fifty, sixty-eight of our years ago.” She gave an ‘ah’ of acknowledgement, waving for him to go one, resting her face on her knuckles as she watched him.
He grinned, and continued, “so we made off like bandits. I took the cognac and shared it among my Sergeants and a few fellow officers, and then sent the other two to my superiors. Told my men that they each were allotted two bottles of wine, and as much beer as they could carry so long as I didn’t catch them drunk.” After a second, he stifled a laugh, and then doubled over when it escaped.
“I still wonder if the British saw us. Were they all preparing for an attack? Quaking in their holes while we carted away beers in the moonlight?” Ma’tellie chuckled along with him, not finding as much humor in it, but still seeing the absurdity.
“Well, are you full? We could clean up-“
“I already paid the staff. They’ll handle it, are you read to go?”
“Yes, let’s-“ He was already up, the excitement overpowering his will and letting a few quivers pass over him. He made to grab her and pull her along, but stopped, glancing down from her eyes.
“Ah… I doubt that your peculiarity will excuse your…” he trailed off, still looking below her eyes.
Oh, yeah…
She was nude.
Ma’tellie pushed out her chest.
-
Thank the Goddess that he’d thought about it.
It was weird, it seemed like something he would have done mentally, but also something he wouldn’t do physically. She’d helped clean his trophies, she’d both seen and read about his medals, intellectually she knew it was the type of thing he should do.
But… well, she hadn’t actually seen him do something like it before.
He’d always been… inert, inactive, like his initiative to just engage with the world had been blown away with his legs.
But they were back, and thus, that old thing she knew had existed showed itself for the first time.
The night was cold, freezing even, and only the marine-issue swimming suit beneath the dress that the farmwomen had sewn let it be bearable. Honestly, now that she looked around, it was almost like a cold version of a Shil’ summer. The humidity of the sea filling the blue night sky with fog, a slight gust of wind, and a tinge of salty humidity in each breath.
Yeah, Shil, but cold.
Otto picked up the pace, pulling her along ever so slightly in his excitement. Ma’tellie immediately sped up to match him, pulling the noble tighter against her side to ward away the cool evening. It was so strange, so wonderfully abnormal, to walk with him side-by-side, her arm wrapped under his.
It was perfect.
They finally reached the end of their journey. The stone road reaching what looked like either a canal or a reinforcement to the river, a high wall of similarly stone bricks raising the walkway above the tide by fifteen or so feet. A few people walked along the canal, illuminated by the gas-powered streetlights, but it seemed like most of the natives had already gone in for the night.
Otto was entirely uncaring for their surroundings, leading her down to the water’s edge, practically bouncing down the stairs given his excitement.
“Alright, I asked around, apparently this portion doesn’t have too strong a tide. Should be safe to have a dip, do you-“ Ma’tellie cut him off, having slipped out of the dress while he was turned away from her. With all the grace expected of a Shil’, she dived in, practically flying under the water before turning back up, bursting through the surface with a little spin.
“Good idea on the swimsuit!” Truthfully, the water was freezing, but the standard issue wet suit kicked in immediately. If it had covered her head, hands, and feet, it would’ve been perfect. Otto didn’t respond to her words, standing stunned with his mouth hanging open ever so slightly.
Finally, he recovered from it, setting the omnipad back down onto the pavement before beginning on his own clothing. Of course she watched, floating on her back and tilting her head to look at him. Giggling as he struggled out of the strange, dull, black and white clothing he seemed so proud to wear. Once he’d unbuttoned the top though, the giggles became full blown laughter, especially once he’d gotten his pants off.
“What?”
“It’s just- Is that a swimsuit?”
“Yes!?” His face flushed ever so slightly as he tugged on the blue striped, white cloth that made up his trunks and shirt.
“Well… I just didn’t expect that is all. Come on!” He had a moment of indecision, of self-consciousness, but eventually he followed her into the water.
And it wasn’t just his swim wear that was ancient.
He paddled over to her, keeping his head above the surface the entire time. When he reached her, he tried to float alongside, kicking and readjusting every ten or so seconds.
Ma’tellie pressed the air out of her lungs, diving beneath the waves before shooting back up at his side. He flinched, losing his focus, and sinking, but she pulled him to her chest before he even had time to struggle.
The heat of his face felt wonderful.
When she spoke, they were too far from the omnipad, and thus she leveraged her practice. “I… you good swimmer I thought?” Her mouth stumbled over the words, her poor German struggling and grating along her throat as it escaped. His blush got worse, and when he turned to hide his eyes, it only pointed them at her tits, making it grow redder.
“-not as good as you.” She didn’t know the first word, but the idea was clear enough given his restrained pout.
“Come… I… I show how, yes?” He nodded, but the pout stayed stuck on. Ma’tellie restrained the squeal, and then with every ounce of her will she slid from his warmth, kicking a few feet away from him. She ushered for him to follower, her cheeks straining from how wide her smile had grown, and the man jumped to comply.
Again, he paddled, keeping his head above water and visibly struggling against the waves.
Did they- had they not figured out swimming as a culture? Or at least ‘real’ swimming? She’d never even considered that as a thing.
Ma’tellie giggled at him through the entire process, and especially when he squawked a word she didn’t know. It was too much for her to handle, absolutely too much, the combination of his tuskless face, the almost toddling way he swam, the pout.
It all combined into the purest, physical form of the very concept of ‘cute’.
She couldn’t help it, she wrapped her arms back around him, pulled him up to her face, and locked her lips with his.
-
Of course, he had jumped.
It wasn’t a needy embrace, more of a… pleasant thing. Like a hummingbird, fluttering from his lips and down into his chest.
When she pulled away from it, that feeling became all the more pronounced. Her pure joy radiated out, washing over him, and he returned it.
The plan had worked, but the mere fact that it did so made him feel like a bastard.
He had been non-attendant, non-reciprocative, non-masculine. That she showed so much joy showed that he had been too cold, too lost, and he would never allow it to be that way again.
Ma’tellie gently shoved him away, coasting backwards like an otter with a clam. Finally she brought herself to a sharp stop, opening her mouth but unable to find the correct words. Instead, she simply pointed to her own eyes, and then to him, very deliberately showing her strange swimming technique.
She lay down forwards in the water entirely, just as she would lay out on a bed, using her arms like a waterwheel to pull herself forwards while her legs kicked behind. Slowly she increased her own speed, circling about him in the gloomy water, moving at a pace unmatchable by a human.
Yes, he had been good at swimming, but he didn’t need to make an excuse.
Yes, he hadn’t done so in months, yes, his new legs provided a strange balance to his body, and yes, the foreigners had some strange technique.
But it must have been more than that. She moved like a torpedo towards a ship, like a dolphin towards a fish, sliding through the water with an almost unnatural grace. Yes, their race must have been gifted with the ability by God, there was no alternative explanation that would come to his mind.
Finally, she ended it with a display, diving bellow the surface, disappearing into the murk, before shooting back out. Just as she had the first time, she burst forth from the river, flipping once through the air before landing with a great splash. When he blinked the liquid from his eyes, she had already swam the four or so meters between them, wrapping him up in her embrace once again.
Another kiss, and then in broken, halting, wonderful German, “turn for you?”
​
*Sorry guys, guess it's been a bit. Life has been getting in the way, but I hope you enjoyed this late Valentine's Day Weizenbauer Chapter. The story will be picking up pace here soon, so chapters should be coming out faster (aka, not two months in between posts).

Hi all, recently started drumming again after so many years (electric kit), and I randomly picked up some dipped sticks that have the rubber on the handle side... I'm probably describing it weird. I also have eczema and am a synthetic chemist, so my skin goes through random bad phases anyways, but just curious if anyone else has had this issue as I try to nail down the cause.
I am getting back into practicing proper technique so I try to be mindful of how I grip my sticks, but also just let loose and go hard sometimes

Convenient Narrative
Credit goes to Bluefishcake for creating the setting of "sexy space babes". Please check out his works and support the official release.
Comments, feedback & anything else are always welcome.
Chapter 4: On the road again
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It was actually sorta jarring in a sense. Joshua knew there was an alien invasion happening, but out here in the farmlands things were…. Well, peaceful? The entire state…. Country? World. The whole world was under attack, but out here in the fields and the farms, one wouldn't really be able to tell. Well that wasn’t entirely true. The sight of one of the invaders flying overhead, in what might more closely resemble a brick or a particularly fat tuning fork, worked to break that illusion of normalcy.
Though I-75 was pretty calm all things considered, if not sparsely occupied by other drivers. Even after a quick stop at a Marathon gas station he wondered if he was capable of making good time there. From the radio chatter from before, the aliens seemed far more interested in occupation rather than outright genocide…. Right?
It hadn't stopped the general panic that seemed to hang in the air. The shelves in most outlets, be they grocery store or gas station, were cleared out. He was lucky he had even gotten a half a tank of gas from the pumps. Already they were rationing it. Apparently no drivers wanted to deliver things across a war zone, who would have thought? It's one thing after all to stay cooped up in your homes or local community, it's another to deliver a tanker across the country.
Up to this point, it had been largely quiet. He had simply been driving in silence, for the past hour. He had already been by a trailer park that seemed to have been bustling with people, several of the RVs pulling out of the park and driving out towards the dirt roads. Passing by an airport, he flinched as he saw what looked like several of those alien craft circling around it, before going in to land on the tarmacs.
Black and purple figures piling out of the back hatches & moving towards the interchanges of the interstate. 'Holy shit why are they so tall?'
The ongoing road construction had been left unfinished on much of the interstate, torn up roads and traffic cones left scattered about and even the backhoes and cement mixers. Those caused a bit of a detour before getting back on track. It wasn't until Perry parkway that he had seen real carnage. A jet had crashed or more accurately had been shot down here. The mangled wreckage of what looked to be half of an Ac-130. It had carved a path on the west side of the interstate, having cut through what looked like a hotel, and the crash wreckage had dragged all the way to a dealership. There were no signs of fire, but the metal scrap littered the nearby flats and one of the wings embedded in the ground near a billboard. He had to swerve several times just to avoid getting a tire blown out or bottoming out on his truck.
Once again he passed by more RVs and he wondered just how many there actually were out here? 'Maybe people were packing up to go hide in the forests?' Though they all drove in the opposite direction. He was almost at the '156' & just up ahead he could see why.
"Oh. Fuck me, it's a checkpoint."
The lanes were barricaded up ahead, each lane was closed off by the presence of those purple aliens. Each seemed to stand somewhere in the range of seven or more feet tall. They were built like bodybuilders with all those muscles. Their armor they wore looked more like skin tight swimwear with armor plates strapped on top. For one reason or another the black armor looked curvy and form fitting. That didn't really make sense to him.
The guns reminded him of those German bullpups with the top loading magazines. They had with them what looked to be a pair of apcs. Their huge wheels would’ve not looked out of place on a tractor, while the body of the vehicle was roughly in the shape of a brick, which seemed to be a pattern. The cannons on top seemed to swivel on pivots & began tracking Joshua's truck. He flinched and tensed up for a moment, anticipating the blast, but when they hadn't fired he let out a shaky breath.
One began to raise a hand and do some sort of hand motion towards the other aliens and they all turned and bared their guns towards him. Not really aiming, but rather pulling them forward. None of them racked a round or pulled any bolt actions, so maybe they were automatic? Oh right, the aliens. He managed to slam on his brakes, coming to a stop maybe fifty feet away from the front-most alien.
This one had even raised their gun to level it right towards him. With a raised hand, the alien began to shout towards him in some sort of broken language that almost sounded to have a German accent. It was rather impressive how loud they were, given the sound of the truck's engine still rumbling.
["Halt!"]
It… she? Wait, she? Jeez those were big. Uhh right. So it began walking towards his truck with another two beginning to flank on either side of his vehicle. 'Focus. Treat it like a traffic stop. Look straight ahead and don't do anything stupid.' One stood in front of the truck, pointing its weapon through the windshield at him.
["Hey there cutie. This is a vehicle inspection. Wondering where you're traveling from? "]
The first one marched to the driver's side window. It spoke in more of that German accented pig-latin or whatever it may have been. Joshua was more caught up on the fact that the one in front still had the gun trained on him with a look of worry. Why would they be worried? He was the one about to be shot!
["Hey I'm gonna need to inspect ya. Mind opening up for me?"]
The alien repeated itself firmly, her hand resting on the pistol that hovered at her hip. He slowly began to lower the driver's side window, the glass giving a loud squeak as the window came down all the way. He opened his mouth to speak but he realized he had no idea what to say, leaving him with an awkward pause and open mouth. Would they even speak English? Or even understand it? 'Speak up, before you swallow a fly.'
"I uhh….I don't understand you."
["Oh shit, I guess they don't speak trade-shil."]
["Inb're did you bring the pad with the translator?"]
["Yeah, but its battery died like. An hour ago. There's nothing to do & I wanted to watch a movie."]
["Were in the middle of a liberation and you're watching movies? Are you serious?"]
["What? I was bored! Besides now we've got a new thing to keep us entertained. Isn't that right, stiff?"]
The alien responded in something incomprehensible, prompting the third alien standing by to speak up. The aliens had a short back and forth between one another, with each passing moment causing his anxiety to ratchet up. He fidgeted in his seat a bit, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. 'Stay cool, don't panic. They don't know you're in the military.' When the alien who was still aiming her rifle at his front windshield spoke up, the one standing at his driver's side window had apparently decided to get back to it.
["Just do the inspection and search, will ya Inb're?"]
["Fiiine. At least I get to search 'em. Alright, local. Hop on out."]
They spoke again in what could be assumed to be in an authoritative tone. Stepping forward, the alien looked directly at him with their black eyes that had a single ring of gold in each of them. The alien waited for a moment, and somewhat leaned itself forward, Joshua found himself looking away & trying to avoid eye contact… or at least avoid looking at their chest. Grasping the truck's driver side handle the alien tried the door handle, the lock preventing it from being opened. Joshua had a flash of panic and flinched, nearly slamming on the gas to drive forward but cooler heads prevailed.
["Turn it off. And Hop. Out."]
Though he couldn't understand what they were saying, they did a sort of pantomiming motion of taking their two fingers and pinching them together, wrist pointed inwards at an angle and then twisted their fingers over the imaginary item. They repeated themselves yet again as it finally clicked for him. Turning off his engine, swearing under his breath.
The alien tried the handle again, as he slowly reached over and undid the doors lock as well as his belt. The alien opened the door, soon after taking a wide step back, speaking authoritatively at him. Stepping out, the alien pushed him towards the hood of his truck. Joshua putting his hands on the hood. 'So this is how I’ll die.'
["Alright I'm so over the nervous foreplay crap. On the hood and spread 'em."]
It…. She started patting him down across his pockets, her wide palms smacking across him and taking out his leather wallet, which was empty, his smart phone, which wasn't charged, and some gum that he had left over. At this point he was simply glad he hadn't had a gun on him. Then again, from the reports, it wouldn't have made a difference. Nothing short of a Barrett or a twelve gauge could do anything to one of them when they were armored. Though knives apparently worked all the same. That was curious in and of itself all things considered.
["Not bad…"]
His thoughts were brought back to the moment as she had continued to pat him down. A large hand gilded between his legs and he got 'cup-checked', as what should have been a pat down felt more like a bitchslap to his jewels. Clenching his jaw, a small grunt of pain escaped under his breath, though he kept his composure. It felt like a particularly invasive search at an airport more than anything. He was admittedly a bit confused as her hands began patting over and gliding across the underside of his arms and lingered far too long for comfort, when it came across his chest. He obviously didn't have a holster, but he didn't say anything. Though her hands eventually traveled down to his back and the hem of his pants. He tried to hold his cool as she 'goosed' him, but 'holy shit that hurt'. The way she grabbed at his ass, it had felt like an aggressive booster shot and he couldn't stop himself from a pained shout.
"AHH! Mother fucker!"
His back arched and he brought his hand to his rear, turning to look over his shoulder, only to find a black-gloved hand on his shoulder and turning him roughly back to the truck's hood with a dull smack against his back, the overly strong hand feeling like a vice grip on his collarbone and left a dull pain lingering behind. Okay he was gonna have two bruises.
["Did I tell you, you could move? Stay!"]
["Private Inb're! This is a inspection, not a chance for you to smack up the locals!"]
["Oh he's being overly dramatic! I barely touched him!"]
["I'm not gonna have molestation or boy-bashing levied against this pod! Check yourself before I do it for you!"]
["Alright alright! No need to get your tits in a pinch, fucking louse…."]
["What was that!?"]
["I said I'm checking the trunk now!"]
He heard the other alien women shout something back and forth after that, with increasing volume, but he was quickly reminded that they were armed and he didn't wanna be fucking shot. 'Aww shit this hurts. This is a deep pain.' Staring at the ground & avoiding eye contact with the aliens, his fingers flat across the hood of the truck, the stinging in his shoulder had started to suddenly get more intense.
The feeling of needles spreading over the area, quickly began to replace the dull pain. Maybe he should have drank more milk up to this point? 'Oh cool, it gets worse.' He thought to himself.
["Now let's see what you're hiding…"]
She had left him standing at the truck's front as she and the other one had moved over to the truck bed itself, saying something unintelligible. In the back he knew he had the food crates, some tool boxes and quite a bit of cable lengths and plug sockets. Plus a bunch of miscellaneous bits for either fixing the radios or tools for line repair. Plus tape. Loooots of tape. He didn't have any of the guns…. Right? He was sure the Major & crew took all those. Joshua wasn't even a proper rifleman & hadn't shot a gun since basic.
He burned his ID along with the papers, apparently the aliens were looking out for the military up to this point. Soldiers that got captured were dragged off to camps and most were being held there. The stand down order came through after the second day, but that largely hadn't been received by most groups or was outright being ignored. Most people didn't really care what Washington had to say in that regard but.
The Major had decided not to tell those on the radio in the area about it. Hold out as long as possible, instead of just turning themselves in. The Major had wanted to contact the local militias in the area, but they didn't really have the same equipment as them. Not everyone was gonna have a SINCGAR after all.
Then they had pulled out the duffle bags from the back seat. 'Shit.' They began to open one and go through it, mostly clothes that hadn't been washed in the past week, though he had clean boxers on at least. They did find his swiss army knife, but had quickly dismissed it. The duffle bag with the ham radios however, had caught their attention.
["What do we have here? Holding out on me you little stiff?"]
'He didn't have the 12-volts in, right?' The handsy alien tried a few of the dials and switches, toggling them haphazardly. This immediately earned a shouting fit from the third woman. He noticed now that she had what looked like a yellow or tan trim along her armor. That wouldn't be gold, right? The back and forth between them seemed to end abruptly, as they zipped up his duffle bags and tossed them in the backseat.
["Don't mess with that! What if it turned out to be a bomb?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"]
["Relax! It's just some… scrap electronics. Maybe a radio or something. It's busted anyways. Nothing's even turning on, on it."]
["Alright you're done. Go stand by the transports."]
["Aww what common I was just-"]
["I said over to the transport!"]
Coming back over, the alien that had been shouting at the grabby-one up until now, seemed to look at Joshua with a bit of an odd look. She looked him over, for several moments. He was skinny. He did well with cardio but honestly he wasn't nearly as fit as he should have been. His skin was a bit pasty, being down in a bunker for two weeks, leaning over a radio would do that to you.
His hands were covered in multiple electrical burns with poorly done bandaging. Dirty nails, bruises and one missing fingernail that had sorta gotten caught on a piece of metal and nearly broken in half. Then the alien met his eyes through her visor and her face soured. As he blinked he realized his eyes had been watering, with a couple tears running down his cheek, from the pain in his shoulder. Great. He was gonna die looking like he was crying like a little bitch. Soldier of the month people.
Then she started stomping past him. The one who had been standing ahead of his truck the entire time, no longer had her rifle trained on Joshua. They were in a more lax position, though eyes still locked on him. Goldie and her apparently had a few words for each other before Goldie sent her off towards the apcs at a jog. When they returned, they had with them a small white bottle. They tossed it to Goldie who caught it.
["Here just… Just lemme see your hands. This stuff will help with the cuts & bruising. It won't hurt, I promise."]
They spoke to Joshua yet again, in a language he did not know. She held her hand out towards his own and began to shake the white bottle. Joshua took a step away from her at this point, he didn't know what that was and wasn't eager to find out. When she took another step towards him to make a grab, he flinched, which she seemed to catch onto as she stopped reaching for him with an almost defeated look and she herself took a step back.
"Soooo everything's in order, right? Can I go now?"
Reaching for his stuff on the hood of the truck, he began to slowly pick it up and move back to the driver's seat. Grabby had already made her way to the other side of the roadblock and had looked as though they were almost moping, leaned against the side of the apc.
Joshua climbed into the driver's seat with caution, trying to keep his eyes off of Goldie or the other two. Sitting down, he cursed the worn out seat and his bruised glute. Closing the door sent another sharp pain running up his shoulder, that made him wonder if a nerve had gotten pinched or if it was just muscle bruising from his time being little more than a desk jockey. When they hadn't stopped him he had turned on his engine. The two apcs up ahead were still trained on him, though Goldie waved a hand for him to pull forward. At least it seemed that way. As he did, the two apcs parted the way to the highway and he simply drove on forward towards Atlanta.
"Okay…. As soon as I get off the highway, stick to the back roads…. Fuck I could use some painkillers."
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…
Everything about this deployment sucked. Oh sure, it was a new planet full of men. Humans. Nearly four billion. Half of the entire population, of what were essentially pink Shil'vati, minus the tusks which could be a bonus depending on how you looked at it. She and her new pod were excited about it. Drop down, kick the locals' cunts in & then bask in the admiration of freeing the world's populace from the risk of a second roach situation.
The planet's poor excuses for governments had basically entirely surrendered after the second day. That should have been it, but for some reason it wasn't.
Sta'Ras found herself in the ass end of the forest. Or rather atop of a bridge in the ass end of a forest, leading a bunch of brand new recruits on a checkpoint of all things. She didn't see why. It may have been one of the main roads, but almost no one was even on it. The few who were seemed to turn right around the moment they spotted them anyways.
Many were willing to go as far as to drive off the roads to cut across to the other direction. So with that being said, they were essentially stuck tweaking their tits while waiting for rotation. "This is such turox-shit…." Came from the grumbling and handsy marine.
Of course the one time a male comes through without another woman with him, that fucking YOKEL has to go and ruin it. Inb're, that brotherfucker had woman-handled a young man and actually hurt him. She was half tempted to call her out as a boy-basher but kept herself from dropping that accusation just yet.
It was a basic traffic stop. A basic search for weapons to keep them outta the regional capital that had apparently still been a warzone up until very recently. But seriously? They had stopped some lithe man that looked properly masculine than any of the feminine men she had seen around here. He looked gaunt. Like he hadn't even been eating properly. She assumed he had to have been hiding out in the boonies here. Covered in facial scars and hands that looked burnt and gouged. She had no idea what he had gone through out there on his own.
"Shut it Inb're. I don't wanna hear it after that little fucking stunt."
"Oh come on! I barely touched him! He was obviously exaggerating & being dramatic!"
"I said shut it! Didn't your father ever teach you not to put your hands on a man? He was fucking crying! Pretty big indicator right there!"
"Men cry all the time! It's what they do!"
Inb're thought this was a bunch of crap. Sure she copped a feel when she was searching him, but so what? Like they wouldn't have done the same. A guy all alone out on the road? Obviously he had been out looking for attention. He hadn't turned the other direction like every other car out here. Besides, what with the white stretched out shirt & those sagging pants he was wearing? He was obviously asking for it!
He hadn't even put up a fight until the pinch. Then he decides to get a bit uppity & she had quickly put him back in his place. Besides the crying was probably just Edexi-tears. Fake, on demand & just doing it for attention.
"The men are all over emotional anyways. Give it a couple weeks, they'll calm down. Besides, if someone had remembered to charge their omnis' maybe we could have actually talked to him."
Sta'Ras wanted to beat the shit out of her at this point. The way he looked made her mind do all sorts of knee jerk reactions. His hands looked like they were dipped in acid or maybe just stomped on repeatedly. His arms were covered in scrapes, cuts and bruises. He had tiny scars across his face and his eyes looked sunken. Worse yet when she brought the bruise cream and antiseptic, he flinched away from her. That had hit a string in her heart. 'Maybe he was abused before?'
Periphery worlders barely knew how to behave properly on a good day. Now they had to drag all these fresh boots around and make sure they didn't do anything overly stupid. 'Fuck i could go for a blue grain' She thought to herself. If it wasn't for the locals taking pot shots at them every other day, maybe they could all actually relax, instead of needing to stay in full kit, helmet and all. Hard to get a guy's attention when they won't even go near you. Even harder if they get word that they're gonna get groped when they do.
"Yeah because feeling him up and being rough, is really gonna get the hermits to wanna talk to you. Now shut up and stay out of the way on the next stop."
Inb're huffed, gritting her teeth. She stomped away into the back of the apc, kicking a chunk of concrete away.
This whole debacle was definitely going into the report. Even if it was likely going to get ignored, & brushed off as 'girls being girls'. How inthe deep was she gonna meet a guy if the yokels were gonna drive them all away?
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End of chapter.
Author's note:
Been sparse with my posting as of late. Between me binge reading other stories for inspiration and general day to day work, I either tend to write in my free time or when i get bored. That and I tend to want at least a few eyes to glance over my work for proof reading and such. Buuuut considering I've seen others confidently post their works unabated I probably should just do the same. In either case, I will try to pump out a chapter of this story at least once every other week depending on my mood. Anxious writing is ironic.
Special thanks to silent_technology540 for proofreading.

Anyone have a good email or phone number for first strike customer service?
Tried emailing them at both service and sales emails and the web-domain returned by emails as blocked. Tried submitting a form on their contact us page and it wouldn't go through - site said request limit had been reached.
I see on their blog they just got acquired by renatus industries(?). I am hoping they are still supporting products. I have some old tanks and just wanted to know if I could get some spare parts in case I need a rebuild on the regs before I spend money on hydrotesting the bottles.
That being said, if anyone knows of a good line on a rebuild kit for their p3 regs please let me know, or a source for component parts please let me know.
Also, off topic, but if anyone has a hydro rec feel free to share, prices seem inflated in my local area (like 60-75) and most of the old businesses I knew seem like they aren't around.