Trippy drawing inspo

I took 20mg of 4-ho-mipt orally yesterday around 7h30 pm on empty stomach (last meal was at 1h pm) and this was freaking awesome!
I was afraid that I wouldn't feel much since I have a weird natural tolerance to drugs in general (I needed 3-3,5g to have a decent trip with open eyes visuals) but 20mg was perfect for my first trip, it exceeded my expectations.
0h : Just before I go outside to water my plants, I smoked some weed to help me with the coming up since coming up drains me so much (not recommended if you are not an experienced psychonaut).
0h45 after dosing : I started to feel the coming up, exactly like shrooms, stomach discomfort and getting tired, weirdly my body wanted me really bad to eat to get back its energy, but I didn't since as soon as I eat, my trip is killed. I finished watering my plants, went back inside and went to bed. I started to get cold, litteraly freezing in my bedsheets.
1h : I went to the bathroom, looked at my floor and started to notice that it was getting trippy, trailing color saturation was shifting. I decided to turn off any light sources in my room to see the full potential of the visuals and I was NOT disappointed at all!
My thought process was getting really exploded, intense "in my face" visuals, not like that "open space feeling" on shrooms. The visuals were like I'm thinking about an image and that image started to fold on itself, merging to itself and than I could see some really spiky colorful corner on each sides and folded corners. It was like an electric agressif sharp spiky type of visuals, all twisting together. In comparison to shrooms with are more gradual in terms of visual intensity, this one was like an on off switch. 15 min before, no visuals and then, it was hard to distinguish reality from dreams. I got completely immersed into this weird twisting spiky universe, ad some weird conversation that were just weird sounds, no words and it felt like it normal, like i really had a normal conversation. No idea what was said.
1h45 in, jumping from planes to planes, was really hard to realize I was just tripping and not thinking that was my reality, I had to really concentrate to get out of my head if I wanted to take my phone. At this point, im giggly as fuck, everything feels and looks amazing, I feel like a kid having the best time of my life!
2h05 : That 20 min felt like hours, I was like in the "center of my on head", can't really explain what exactly it consists of, like a room with grass on the floor, a main poll to support the "roof" and there's that weird... Dude? That was swinging around that poll enjoying himself and said "finally your here, in your own mind". I was a bit confused, someone I don't know in my "mind yard" that decided to invite himself and than I realized I just don't care, not giving a damn fuck about anything and it was just hilarious to me. That dude and I kept chatting for like what felt hours in unknown non human languages and I realized I was the one who invited him, he was litteraly the human form of 4-ho-mipt, such a weird funky dude, all spiky, green-bluish shirt, long arms and legs, almost squeletic with an electric vibe, like sparks where snapping here and there around his head.
Suddenly i went from freezing to overheating, open the light to drink water and like it usually does with shrooms, the light killed the visuals, even the closed eyes visuals had a hard time starting back. 2h45 in, i decided to do some s-ket to spike up the visuals and it felt like everything just stop. Instead of being overly excited and happy, I turned really calm and happy, just enjoying the moment. And then, everything started to get blown away, everything I looked or imagining was getting blown by huge winds, like there was a windy filter on my vision. Less spiky, more windy, it felt like my mind had a storm without doing any damages on my "mind property".
4h : most of the trip was done and i got a flash of an animal form of 4-ho-mipt that I will definitely draw soon! I decided to smoke some weed again and let my mind slip again in this weird thunderstorm trip, it felt like the storm was far from me now, like that trip was slowly fading away, calmness after a big storm.
It was really fucking awesome, I really loved it! Spiky agressif electric storm trip, planes of reality and dream mixing with eachother, less "body/emotionally heavy" than shrooms, 100% would recommend 😁 Next time, I'll go for 40 mg, i want to see it's hurricane form 🔥

tldr I'm looking for some outfit inspo for summer running!
So I am a pre most things MtF except that I've slowly started to make my appearance and mannerisms more feminine. So far the only thing that draws heads is that I have really long red hair that I typically keep in braids - this is apparently enough to get a fair number of double takes and other random things like men holding doors open for me more often. I also occasionally go out in fully feminine attire.
Right now I feel like the next logical place to make a change is in my running getup. Perhaps because running is one of the places that I feel most myself or perhaps because I get the most double takes there already or because I am just obsessed with woman's running gear at this point. But honestly the thing is that I am not sure how to do this. I feel like I just have some vague requirements based on a jumble of feelings:

• I already feel like I stand out as a weird person (I already have strange mannerisms) and I don't want to exacerbate that too much. I live in a pretty liberal area so I am not worried, but right now I do appreciate that I live in an area of ambiguity. Ideally, I would like something that is still somewhat ambiguous - something rather in between.
• I am willing to start shaving my legs to go with this.
• I think tucking will probably be necessary for this.
• Implications of boobs are a no-go. I love bottoms like this, but I don’t want anything like that top.
• I don't want anything very tight on my belly.
• It is pretty hot and humid in my part of the world right now so I need something that can deal with that.
• I need a pocket for my phone.

I'd love to see some outfit ideas or general suggestions. :) If it matters, I am about 5 ft 9, 135 pounds, and I have a fairly slender but also soft/non-musucular body.
Thanks in advance for any help!

(The fact that I tried to strangle my friends mom wasn’t even the worst part of this story, but I figured it would grab your attention)
I was 18 when this incident took place, and I had done acid lots of times with no issues at this point. Including a 500ug dose during a car ride that turned out fine, so I thought I had psychs under control. Shrooms, however, I had only done twice, a 2g and a 3.5g trip. The 3.5 trip was pretty scary, I almost slipped into egodeath but I’m pretty sure I held onto reality enough for my ego to not fully dissolve. I assumed that it was scary because my set and setting wasn’t very good, so after that I wanted to experience a moderate dose of shrooms again, but this time in a good setting and hopefully have a great time.
I had a really good dealer, he was a kind person, and would often throw in free tabs with my orders and stuff like that. I told him I wanted 8g of mushrooms, and that me and my friend were going to take 4g each at his house that night. He sold me the shrooms, and I didn’t have a scale or anything I just trusted him, and I assumed that he gave me 8 grams. I had never seen 8 grams of shrooms before, it looked like a lot but I thought that 8 grams should look like a lot, but in retrospect I think he had sold me about 14 or 16 grams or even more. They weren’t very high quality from what I had seen before and he was probably just trying to get rid of them honestly. It was a bag of small caps and stems and it was about the size of an oz of we’d. They were pretty hard and chewy, not as fluffy and soft as the white giants I had in the past, but I powered through and ate as much as I could. My friend said he couldn’t eat anymore because he was sick of the taste, so I would say I ate about 60% of the bag. That puts my estimate at about 8-10 grams that I had consumed at my friends house that night.
A little more context before I get into the horrifying and scaring events that took place that night, my friends mother was home and she was absolutely not okay with anything more than weed or alcohol being consumed at her house. This led my friend, who we will call Jay, to feel a little paranoid about taking them in the first place, because he didn’t know if we were going to be loud or anything. Jay had only done shrooms one time, and it was with me when I took the 3.5, and he was also freaking out and trying not to let his ego dissolve. He also took acid with me at my house one time, probably a 100ug dose. In retrospect it was completely stupid and irresponsible for me to push him to take what I planned on being 4 grams of shrooms at his house while he was paranoid about his mom and inexperienced with psychedelics. Also, my parents are not accepting of any drug whatsoever, no alcohol no weed whatsoever. I had been caught drinking one time before this, and that was a major shock in the family which completely devastated everyone. Somehow this wasn’t enough to get me to stop seeking substances.
Anyways, we waited on his porch during the come up, and when I started feeling it it hit me like a brick wall. Everything started to look like the old 3D movies used to look if you weren’t wearing the red and blue glasses, if that makes any sense. This is hard to explain, but I started to have this deep feeling that I was entering a realm where I had been before but hadn’t been to in a long time, and it felt like it was the other half of my life that I had completely forgotten about. Again I can’t explain it that well but it was an extremely powerful feeling and I was overcome with emotions about how I had forgotten about this place and that I had spent my whole life without remembering it. After this we quietly went inside into his room, his mother was sleeping. I remember talking to him for a while about random trippy things for a few minutes, but after that things got very, very weird.
The following events happened to me like they were movie scenes, I remember one event then I do not remember what happens between that time and the next event. The next thing I remember after talking to Jay was him sitting across the room on the bed talking about how he wasn’t feeling very good, something about nausea and confusion and general anxiety. I was like “no man don’t worry, we’re actually in a dream right now. I think I’m actually dreaming right now” and he was pretty confused and didn’t know what I was talking about. I pulled out my phone and texted him, despite him being 10 feet away from me, trying to explain to him that I was having this crazy feeling like I was in a dream and that it was nuts. I guess for a few minutes I forgot he was there, because I was texting him like I was sharing my shroom experience from my house and I was trying to tell him about it.
The next thing I remember is opening Pokémon Go on my phone and there was a treecko, and when I tried to catch it I thought that it was my dad. I legitimately, without exaggeration, thought that this treecko on my screen was my actual true father, and I was just fascinated. I couldn’t believe this discovery and just spent a few minutes thinking about it. I then tapped on another Pokémon to try to catch it, and when I did it turned into a freaking ditto. Those of you that play Pokémon Go probably can imagine how fucking insane it was to catch a ditto high as shit on shrooms, I thought the damn world was about to collapse or something it was unbelievable.
After this, Jay decided to turn on some YouTube to try to relax and distract us both, because he could feel things going south. I guess he took it as a bad sign when I was telling him that a treecko was my dad. I had a thought like “I think they say you’re not supposed to watch tv on shrooms” but I thought nothing of it and figured it might be fun. The tv started talking to me, the characters in whatever the video was were talking to me about how we were all living in a simulation and that we have to figure out who is causing it. Once we found who was running the simulation, we would have to find them and tell them that we realized we were in a simulation and that the game could end, and at that point we would be released into the actual true reality and be free from this dimension. That sounded super cool to me, and I had a discovery that the person running the simulation was his mother. I thought that as soon as we went to her room she would be waiting on us to tell her we “figured it out” and at that point we would be released into true reality. So I told Jay, and he immediately told me that was a terrible idea and that it was all nonsense and that if we woke up his mom that we would be fucked and might even go to jail. I debated with him for a while, trying to explain to him what I was thinking and why it was legitimate, but he was having none of it and would not let me leave the room. Eventually I gave up the idea, which you would think was a good thing, but when you hear what happened instead you’ll realize it probably would have been better to go talk to his mom and get kicked out of his house.
The next thing I remember is Jay laying in bed, I think he said he wanted all of this to end and that he was going to try to sleep, so I was alone with my thoughts. I started to feel alone, so I crawled into his bed with him, which was very weird because I was never one of those people who is comfortable sharing a bed with another guy or anything like that. This is when the full blown psychosis started. I suddenly thought I was 10 years old, and that I was in my old bedroom laying in bed with my dad early in the morning. I really wanted breakfast, so I started poking Jay, who I thought was my dad, trying to get him to wake up and take me to Hardee’s. This didn’t work and he wouldn’t move. So I just continued to lay there and daydream and think about whatever was going through my head. I remember seeing a shape on the wall which was familiar but I had no clue where it was from, and I suspect this was something that I had seen very early in my childhood like when I was a baby or something that started to manifest itself on his walls. It was like a circle with three shapes in it that kinda reminded me of a face of some kind but looked nothing like a face. I can still imagine it to this day, but if I actually tried to draw it I would have no clue what to draw, it’s just some abstract thought.
I do not know what happened but I ended up in his floor, and the delusion that he was my father was over at this point. Now, I had completely forgotten he was there, I didn’t know where I was or what I was doing but I knew that somehow I had escaped whatever fake simulation I was in and that now I was in true reality where I could do whatever I wanted. I was pleased with this, my first thought was that I wanted a strawberry donut. Yes, apparently if I was given the power to do anything I wanted to without consequence the first thing I would do was manifest a strawberry donut. I figured that it would take time to learn how to fly and walk through walls and stuff, and that for now I would start simple. So I decided to piss my pants, since that was one thing I thought in my past life I wasn’t allowed to do, and since I could do whatever I wanted now I said freak it and pissed. It was warm and gross and I kinda regretted it for a second, but I quickly forgot that it had happened. I was distracted by some other fantasy which I cannot remember, but it had something to do with me doing something I couldn’t do before and I was amazed at it.
At this point I am fully in a delusional psychosis that I have escaped the simulation and there are no consequences to any action that I do. Kinda like I had a reset button and could just undo any action that was done or something. I didn’t think it was in a dream anymore, I literally thought my new reality was this world. And so, I did whatever I wanted to, with no thought or hesitation.
The next thing I remember is waking up to his room being completely destroyed, the lights on, Jay and his mother standing there looking at me in shock and horror, and me being pinned to the ground by a giant wardrobe, the type with doors on top and drawers under it. There was shit falling out of the doors onto me and I was covered in ashes from an incense tray. I didn’t remember how the wardrobe got on top of me, but weeks later my friend told me that it fell on me while I was climbing on it and eating the ashes out of the incense tray. The wardrobe was really heavy and I couldn’t get out from under it, but I was still fully in psychosis and asked Jay and his mom why they weren’t fucking helping me out when I obviously was stuck. I was yelling and screaming at them, “What the fuck are you doing? Don’t just stand there get this shit off me so we can go get a strawberry donut what the fuck are you doing?!” I couldn’t figure out why there was no reaction from them, if anything just disappointment and disbelief, and that started to really piss me off. Why weren’t they down to go get some strawberry donuts? Obviously it was time for fun and destroying shit and they’re just sitting there looking at me. This wardrobe is fucking heavy and crushing me and they’re just looking at me like deer in headlights. I remember there was a cord for something near my head and I just grabbed it and started chewing on it, like actually trying to eat it since I could do whatever I want. Jay’s mom came over to me and said to cut that shit out or to stop or something and I was like “fuck you, you’re pissing me off quit killing the vibe let me eat it” I was pissed off. She took it from me but I just kept grabbing it again. She was wearing flip flops and I think I took one of them off of her foot when she was trying to kick the cord away from me and I tried to eat the shoe and I think she hit me in the face with it, but that’s so blurry in my mind that I don’t know if it actually happened or not. I kept trying to eat anything I could get my hands on.
The next thing I remember is Jay on top of me, fully restraining me like a cop has to restrain a resisting criminal. He had my arms pinned town beside of me and he was sitting on my stomach area trying to keep me from moving. It fucking hurt a lot. I was like “Dude Jay what the fuck are you doing get off me I’m trying to have a good time and you’re actually hurting me”. I remember it really hurting my stomach because Jay was a bigger guy and I felt like my stomach was about to explode and kill me. I had a brief thought that I had been sent to hell for doing whatever I wanted to do, and that the rest of my eternity was going to be him sitting on top of me while I screamed in pain. I thought that it would never end, and I started going ape shit crazy screaming and yelling and crying begging him to get off me. Like I literally pictured this painful scenario lasting for another minute and couldn’t stand it, then realized this is what it will be like for the next hour, and the next 24 hours, and for the next 40 days and 40 years and I couldn’t bear the thought. I didn’t know how the wardrobe got off of me at the time, but again weeks later Jay told me that I somehow became a superhuman for a second and pushed the wardrobe off of myself and lunged straight at his mother’s neck trying to strangle her. I got pretty close to her apparently, and she had to jump back, but I don’t remember any of that, that’s just what he told me. At that point he had to take me down and restrain me, because he recognized that me trying to kill his mother was not a good thing and it had to stop immediately, believe it or not.
At this point his mother had called my mother and told her the situation, a phone call that I am sure my mother will remember for the rest of her life, because she could hear me screaming and cursing in the background of the call. She put her on speaker and mom tried to ask me what I was doing and I just told her to fuck off and come help me because these people weren’t letting me have strawberry donuts and get wild like I wanted to. That call didn’t last long, but she sent my dad to come and pick me up. Jay restrained me until my dad got there, and when he got there they told me to leave and that my father was there to pick me up. I was like okay fuck you guys I’m going to party with my dad, and I got in his car. He didn’t say a word to me and I was still fully in psychosis and did not realize what was happening. My pants were soaked so I just took them off, dad told me to stop and that I couldn’t take my pants off but I was like “no, they’re wet they have to come off” so I got completely naked in the passenger seat of the car.
Unfortunately, that moment was when the psychosis ended and I became fully aware of what had just happened. I think this moment will forever be the worst moment of my life unless I do something else stupid in the future. Every negative emotion you could possibly feel hit me right there, guilt, shame, anger, all of it hit me right in the chest and I swear I almost passed out. It was physically painful when I realized what I had just done. I probably lost my very best friend forever, his family hates me now, my family knows I do psychedelics, I am naked in my dads car, I have just fully ruined my life as I know it and I have no clue what went wrong in the trip that led to this point. I have no clue why I went into psychosis, but I sure did and I fucked my entire life up in the span of 4 hours. I cannot explain how terrible that moment was and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. I was defeated. Being the real man of genius my father is, trying to I guess lighten the situation or something idk, he went through the damn Hardee’s drive through and ordered me some food. The lady at the drive through did in fact see me naked in the passenger seat, which I’m sure made her day. The rest of the car ride was just me being completely speechless and more or less paralyzed with fear and regret, and when we got home I ran inside straight to my room and locked the door. I refused to look at my mother, who wanted to talk to me obviously, I couldn’t face her at that moment. She didn’t even know what mushrooms were or that they were a drug, so trying to explain a full blown psychosis experience wasn’t going to happen. I texted Jay and I had no clue what to say, besides that I was sorry. There were no words I could say to him to even start to explain anything, I didn’t even know what I needed to explain so I just said that I couldn’t believe what just happened and that it was infinitely sorry. He didn’t reply. I slept for probably 6 hours and woke up actually feeling pretty normal, at which point I decided to go upstairs and talk to my parents.
I don’t remember much after that, but I know it sucked. I know it took Jay weeks to even speak to me like we had ever been friends, and months after that to repair our friendship. Yes, we did repair our friendship, and now 3 years later we simply don’t talk about it. I even see his mother occasionally out town and she’s very loving towards me and says hello. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have a friend like Jay and his family, because if it was nearly anyone else they probably would have called the police and had me thrown in jail instead of calling my parents. I’ll forever be thankful for them.
Be careful with your doses, people

I’m coming up and I wanna watch a movie but I’m drawing a blank…any trippy suggestions?

Ok, well, my theory, based on info that Amazon basically probably leaked due to AI or something, is that pit girl is probably Becky.
Before you freak out, “Becky”, the bully who we see calling Misty, as the plane is crashing, instead of seeing physically why the plane is actually crashing, is revealed not on IMDB, most likely purposefully, but is listed on Amazon, as Alexis Barajas, who we know, plays Mari. Mari is probably her last name, but years ago, before she played sports, back in 92, she was probably called Becky, and she is the one who bullied Misty. Maybe the girls laughing on the call are also on the team, maybe one was Nat.
It is my theory that Mari has been hiding food too, just like the berries, for a while out there, and some of those berries might be poisonous, so she is flipping out hearing the dripping and hallucinating, or probably because Misty is slowly poisoning her and Coach, because Becky Mari knows her intellect best, and is also psycho too. BM also made up the whole Lottie savior thing, just to send Lottie to die out there in the cold, because BM hates her, because she was bullied by Lottie, like the cousin comment hinted at.
Becky Mari is hiding more berry wine under the cabin, where Nat had found booze before, that she shared with coach. They will still find a lot of secrets, under the cabin, I believe. BM has also rigged the cards already, so Misty ALWAYS draws the card to have to dump the toilet. BM is hoping that Misty and Lottie will both be eaten by wolves while out there, which means more to eat for Becky Mari. The cards are rigged and always have been, first by BM then by Misty, to beat her at her own game, she came up with the hunt idea.
Now, I know suddenly someone will pretend they noticed this all of a sudden in the other sub, or make a YouTube pretending they discovered it first, so that is why I’m posting it now. I know I’m the first to notice this, and that the writers are probably going to have Amazon remove that voice over credit soon, because they have left that credit info out of the IMDb info, on purpose. I checked when that episode first aired. I’ve tried repeatedly to find out who Becky was, stupid Amazon finally spilled the secrets, because of AI.
Also, the porn mag Travis took with him is really important to the plot. This hasn’t been noticed before either, I really don’t think, but I think it’s a key that might save Coach, saved Javi for a while, and maybe all the ones left in the end.
I thought originally, that the pilot was a midnight rider, and that there are hidden tunnels out there with drugs and money in them, that possibly helped Javi survive. Now, I believe it’s possibly a military spy plane, not sure which military, but most likely CIA, and that the cards probably have a hidden map contained within them, like spies, which correlates to the symbol, and the date of the magazines probably shows what decade at least that the pilot was last there, but also they are a key to the symbol/ underground cave system.
Natalie might figure out from the magazine Travis took, hidden info that was in the porno mag, that leads them back home. I think the cards hold the key to the symbol, and the porn has a clue that unlocks it. Yes, I just said that the porn will probably save their lives.
Ben is gay, so he would not have looked at the porn. Javi might have, even though he wasn’t supposed to. Plus he wanted more paper to draw on. Travis has Nat, and might not be interested in it, but could have saved at least one mag from the fire, just in case, or Javi took one with him, that they discover later. Javi may have found the clues to the caves in the magazine, and that is why he says “she” led him there.
There is probably not just a cave underground, but also tunnels that lead to across the border. It might just contain a hidden weapons arsenal. There is already at least one known US arsenal in the US Rocky Mountains. Also, most people don’t realize that the US military has been on an expedition since colonial times, that has just never ended. The US Army never ended their original expedition, because they finance spy ops and things they don’t ever tell their own citizens about, so they can make sure no planes are supposed to fly over that area, and it is abandoned, but still a secret location.
IDK exactly what is hidden out there, but the “hunter” was probably a spy and a soldier, and armed to the teeth for a reason. There are probably explosives and grenades out there he set, probably not alone, but they just haven’t stepped on them yet. The pit was probably made by him and others. They will probably discover more bodies he buried out there. It seems like a military op or cartel drug site, because of the amount of arsenal, and the lack of food out there. Soldiers would be trained to grow and forage for food, and would expect at least their superior officers or bosses to eventually come for them, even spy pilots. Maybe they got left behind in wartime, or just didn’t want to go back so they killed the others. We will see.
Now, back to my theory that Misty caused the crash and killed Nat on purpose, but sent Lisa out there as a cover. It makes a whole lot more sense now that we know Becky Mari the bully is on the team and the plane too. That’s not the end of it though. To everyone who said the folder belonged to the corpse/crypt keeper they found out there, think again.
The folder looked so familiar to me I went back and really looked at it, and it has lasers all over it, so I googled laser trapper keeper. The front of the folder is taken directly from a trapper keeper commercial from the 90’s. Other stickers are on it, but it’s meant to be Misty’s trapper keeper, and it’s filled with folders inside about medicinal herbs and poison sections, and the shrooms she tried to kill them all with, or just Ben, but they ended up being the trippy kind instead. Eventually she wants to kill them all still.
Also, that damn Wilson Phillips song is playing when she gets the phone call from Becky Mari, and when she beats the black box, and when she takes Nat to see Travis, after she broke Nats car. I think she was planning on blaming Travis death on Nat just in case, and the reason she saved her from doing the Coke was because it didn’t fit in with how she wanted to kill Nat.
I’m sure everything or some of what I just said, will be posted very soon by someone else in the other sub that is power tripping like Misty, or posted as someone else’s theory on YouTube, but I’m only posting it first here. I wasn’t going to say anything because it’s a huge mistake from Amazon I think, and I realize they will probably delete that info because I already hinted that one of them is going by their last name. I deleted that, but maybe the writers saw it already or something, and they will make Amazon remove it soon.
TLDR: breaking news, exclusive to this sub only! Becky is Mari! Nudie mags can save lives? Hunter is a soldier, who rigged the land and maybe the caves too? Mari, then Misty rigged the cards.

Since people on this subreddit are often historians who know stuff (hence the name), I thought asking y’all would be great since google wasn’t being really helpful! I’m trying to find female bards from medieval or renaissance times or someone similar! I’ve seen one other post from like eight years ago on here asking and the one person who responded didn’t know of anything, but I’m banking on the fact that we learned more about the past throughout that time! (Also it would be great if they were like good people bc I don’t want to accidentally draw inspo from someone who supports like women being property and that kind of stuff lol)

"If you believe in this from the bible, you're gullible and dumb!!' next person "well you believe in this part of the bible,, so you're dumb too!" next person "na you're dumb, those parts I think are true so, we can only joke about those parts I randomly decided!" "Watch it, or I'll make another new rule, no mention or support of noah's ark! We don't support those people" others "um why?" next person "because we don't support that I decided. mean words mean words."
Why even bring attention and draw a line in the sand? You get that triggered over flat earth?
Have some thicker skin and don't get power trippy.

I am posting this because when I started, many things I read here made me endure taking the pill and fixing my anxiety and agoraphobia, so thank you, everyone!
It all started after my second dose of Pfizer, I took it while having acute lip Herpes resulting in vestibular inflammation. I had some trippy derealisation episodes and I was constantly feeling like I was going to fall or that something more sinister was happening to me. The inflammation passed but I was left with panic attacks, constant anxiety about open spaces. Months passed until I got the right diagnosis at first I did not want to take this medicine but I was getting worse and panic attacks started happening more frequently. So I decided to try it. My dose was 5mg for the whole year and a half of taking it. At the start it was hell, my anxiety was skyrocketing half an hour after taking the pill. Here I saw that a lot of people are having the same issue so I decided to stick with all the fucking brain zaps. Because my dose was smaller it took me a lot to notice a real change like 2/3 months but each day after that it was all getting better (and fatter XD) and day by day my anxiety was more manageable. So after 12 months of taking it, I decided I could try tapering. I was tapering really slowly and listening to myself by this schedule:

• 5mg/2.5mg alternating for two months
• 2.5mg every day for one month
• 2.5mg every other day for two months

I really had no side effects with tapering, maybe just feeling a bit more angry than usual after a few days of dose lowering. I am not anxiety free but it is 98,99% more manageable and it is not affecting my life anymore in a way that bounds me to bed. So to conclude: My biggest fear was that this was a permanent state which I will have to bear my whole life. But it turns out it's not. You, people, can do this! You had it so far and the best days are yet to come, just stay strong, try therapy, and new things, try traveling, get a pet, start drawing/writing, go to the gym and sweat a lot, try ice-cold showers, etc. YOU GOT THIS! YOU ARE ALL A LOT STRONGER THAN YOU THINK, YOUR ANXIETY IS LYING TO YOU. LOVE YOU ALL!

I tried quite a few models and prompts and it seems that trying to get SD to draw a spaceship is nearly impossible. I've generated some trippy submarine/spaceship, caspaceship, plane/spaceship hybrids, and some rather abstract things in space that look like Soviet-era sci-fi book covers, but nothing that looks like a proper spaceship. I tried including star wars, star trek, expanse in the prompts and ended up with more freakshows.
I saw a spaceship LORA that showed up on this sub a while ago but that didn't help a whole lot either. Any idea why this is? And is there a model out there that would allow me to generate decent-looking spacecraft?

I have full blown movie like dreams every night. I've even posted one here before. They are usually fully lucid, but this one was so very much different in such a cool way.
Edit: read slow or pause in areas to soak in the full Song, put yourself there as best as you can it's worth it.
The song "Shut up my moms calling" by Hotel Ugly plays
I found myself in a dream called "Level 17: - The Lost Souls Down."
In this dream, I was with a guy named Coryls, and together, we were traveling on an endless expanse of road, seemingly lost. Coryls suggested that I stop driving, and when I did, I decided to FaceTime my friend Zack. To my surprise, Zack answered the call, and he was surrounded by a group of wildly captivating people inside a building. The girl with him wore a masquerade DMT mask, and music played in the background, specifically "The Lost Soul Down," by NBSPLV. Coryls mentioned that this is where they were, the Lost Souls Down. I was like what in the fuck is the 'Lost Soul Down'? I couldn't understand why Zach hadn't mentioned such a place or what he was up to, we were best homies. Intrigued, I handed the wheel over to Coryls, and he took us through woods, off-roads, and backroads, seemingly leading us nowhere I smoked a large blizzy to ease my mind, I was signing myself up for a wild one, usually I lucid dream and have full control, but the thought that Zach could somehow be pulling the strings all I did was spawn some good bud and a swisher to get me ready for the madness.
Eventually, we arrived at a giant abandoned factory building with moss growing on all sides. It had multiple stories and was wide, almost resembling a governmental structure. As the dream shifted into a director's perspective as it sometimes does to draw a picture, I saw us exploring the building from above, as if I were watching a movie. We walked around the perimeter, passing under a barred fence with a giant red warning sign that read "17 CAUTION." Although skeptical, I followed along in hopes of finding my best friend, Zach. Inside the back of this factory, the building transformed into a hidden mine shaft, with concrete floors and walls that eventually transitioned into plywood, and a blue fuzzy carpet covered the ground. In the distance, I could faintly hear the song "Substantial" by NBSPLV playing.
We descended deeper and deeper into the mine shaft, following a downward-facing walkway circling and rights and lefts never-ending. After what felt like 25 minutes of walking, we entered a spacious room through a sealed door by keycode. The room was 50-100 feet wide, with tall ceilings and a central hangout area it looked fucking sick. The song "Substantial" played loud enough you could hear its buzz, and approximately 45-50 people of various backgrounds and styles were dancing, vibing, smoking, and engaging in various activities. Desks were set up for gaming, beds for lounging, and 35-ft long dichroic glass lights illuminated the space with really cool artwork on the walls, people painting with black light / UV lights everywhere, casting colorful beams in every direction. The room had a chill ambiance, and I excitedly high-fived everyoneα I began high-fiving everyone, stoked as I searched for Zach amidst the pulsating atmosphere. It was like stumbling upon an underground rave scene, a hidden gem that no one fucking told me about. The air consumed with an energy I couldn't quite grasp. What the fuck are these assholes on that I'm not, as if everyone around me was riding a high of crack mescaline that I desperately wanted a piece of. Curiosity fueled me and me being a recovering addict knowing damn well I'm dreaming, I was like WHERE ARE THE DRUGS, trying to find anything about the source, a girl approached me who seemed to possess the answers. Her name was Mya.
Shw guided me through a corridor, that opened up into a sprawling network of interconnected rooms, each with its own purpose and ambiance. We passed through rooms filled with vintage arcade machines, where gamers battled against virtual opponents in a cacophony of electronic beeps. In another room, artists huddled around canvases, their brushes capturing the essence of their hallucinatory visions with vibrant strokes of color.
Continuing deeper into the complex, we entered a room bathed in soft blue light. Rows of bookshelves lined the walls, filled with ancient tomes and dusty manuscripts. Curious, I reached out to touch one of the books, and as I did, a surge of knowledge and memories flooded my mind. I felt a connection to the collective consciousness of those who had come before me, their thoughts and experiences merging with my own.
Maya guided me to a secluded chamber, where a group of individuals sat in a circle, engaged in deep conversation. They were philosophers, intellectuals, and seekers of truth, engaged in a profound exploration of existence and the nature of reality. I joined their discussion, contributing my own insights and questions, swept up in the intellectual fervor that permeated the room.
Time lost its meaning as the conversations continued, flowing seamlessly from one topic to another. The discussions delved into metaphysics, philosophy, science, and the mysteries of the universe. It was a gathering of minds hungry for knowledge, seeking to unravel the secrets of No. 17 and its enigmatic purpose.
The purpose of each level is to KEEP YOU HERE FOR EVER...
After what felt like an eternity of thought-provoking discourse, which if you know me is what I LOVE. Maya whispered to me that it was time to move on. She led me through a narrow passageway that seemed to stretch on endlessly. The walls became rough and rocky, with occasional flickering torches casting dancing shadows on the uneven surfaces.
Eventually, we reached a massive chamber, bathed in an weird glow. The space was dominated by a colossal machine, an intricate fusion of gears, pipes, and pulsating energy sources of light and noise, was it driven by music? It seemed so. It hummed with a vibrant energy that resonated through the very core of No. 17. Maya explained that this machine was the heart of the complex, a conduit for the mysterious power that drew people to this place.
As we stood before the machine, a profound realization washed over me. No. 17 was not just a physical location or a gathering place for lost souls; it was a nexus of creativity, curiosity, and the exploration of the human spirit. It served as a catalyst for transformation, a space where individuals could tap into their deepest desires, connect with others on a profound level, and discover hidden aspects of themselves.
But the true nature and purpose of No. 17 remained elusive, shrouded in the enigma that surrounded it. Maya, sensing my curiosity, smiled knowingly and said, "Some things are meant to be experienced, not explained. No. 17 holds secrets that transcend our understanding. Embrace the journey, for it is the journey itself that holds the true magic."
With those cryptic words lingering in the air i still shout.
"Hey, what the fuck is this place all about, why are everyone's eyes including your saucer plates, can I have some" I shouted eagerly, my eyes searching for any clue as to what she was on, a sniffle, a track mark, a vape, a pill, I was ready to plummet into this new drug.
Her gaze locked with mine, and a mischievous smile curled upon her lips. "Ah, you must be the new guy looking for Zack, he said youd be coming," she chimed, her voice laced with intrigue. "Welcome to the Lost Soulds Down."
As if on cue, the song "Big Jet Plane" by Restricted filled the room, its melody intertwined with an impending fear that the ride has just begun. The lyrics resonated deep within me I knew this song well, beckoning me to follow her lead. With a cryptic yet enticing invitation, she encouraged me to savor the experience slowly, reminding me that this journey was a marathon, not a sprint. Intrigued I let go of my fiendish nature to get high and let the music be my ride for the time being. Listening to the song and singing it with the girl, there was an adulteration to the words, it said "Can I take you lower" instead of higher, I couldn't help but wonder about the cryptic reference to Tyler, but before I could inquire further, the music swelled, drowning out any further conversation.
Nestled in the depths of this level, concealed behind a tightly sealed door, lay another fucking corridor as I knew, drilled with anticipation I was. As the code to unlock it was entered, the expectant gazes of the crowd fixated upon us, yearning for a taste of what lay beyond. And together, we stepped through the portal, my astonishment growing with each passing moment.
The levels delved deeper, its walkways winding in a trippy circular motion. Speakers lined the path, amplifying the pulsating beats that resonated with my drive to fully get high on this dream. As we walked, she continued to unravel the secrets of this forgotten hellish heaven, a haven where a chemical known as 17 awaited all of us to consume, but where was it? in the air? it's a promising and blissful descent into an altered reality. Inhibitions and cares will fade away, replaced by a kaleidoscope of hallucinations and a soundtrack unique to each level, designed to captivate and contain you for as long as possible before you yearn for more, but only then, an experienced member of the LOST SOULS must type in the code to allow you further.
Intrigued, I inquired about the consequences of descending further, my voice filled with caution honestly I sounded like a pussy, something about a never-ending slope filled with booming music and drugs and sex filled me with excitement but also fear, the same fear when you're on a head full of acid at mainstage when a dubstep rise and drop is about to happen. Her response echoed with a hint of trepidation, warning me against the fate of Tyler, a figure shrouded in mystery. Yet, before she could elucidate further, a HUGE surge of euphoria coursed through my veins as we got deeper into the levels corridor, distorting my senses and engulfing me in a vibrant tapestry of colors and patterns I felt like I just shot up LSD METH PCP and had an oxygen mask of ETHER on my face. The walls transformed into breathtaking works of art(was there any art? (were we walking in a nasty decrepit corridor so high we only thought it was beautiful? My imagination gets the best of me, I said "Shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride for what it is"- aloud, quickly realizing I was vocalizing my thoughts, the floors shifting beneath my feet. And as a new song "Hold Me" by Lavern boomed, its intoxicating rhythm melded seamlessly with the spectacle surrounding us.
We traversed through the next gated door, a gateway to an ethereal realm reminiscent of a scene from "The Wolf of Wall Street" fused with the extravagant "The Great Gatsby." that had sex with the movie "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", this space sprawled before us, meticulously crafted with tables, chairs, lights, and an array of rooms for indulgence. Staircases led to elevated seating areas and party zones, lasers casting mesmerizing beams into the dark. The crowd moved in perfect synchrony, their animalistic, god-like appearances blending into a kaleidoscope of desire. Some looked like demons, it was MINDBLOWING, the music FUCKING HIT as I'm standing in a room of flying DMT DRAGON HEADS, JELLYFISH THINGS, The people I knew I came down with were all sick and twisted gods and demonic beings now, resembling DMT entities and beings from the old world and new futuristic ones. There were those sky rope things people hung out on, I swear a lot of the things seemed sea-like, and there was no gravity but there was no water?
I found myself locked in a trance, my perception shifting as the girl who guided me appeared to fragment into countless entities in a matter of seconds. Each person present exuded an otherworldly aura, evoking sensations of both awe and fear. My hands contorted and twisted, becoming ribbons of energy that wove through the air, cascading around bodies that writhed in ecstatic revelry I became one with everything there, I realized that each level was the drug, but was it gnarly radiation? Was it a gas pumped into the room? Was it Tyler pumping the fucking gas? Was the dude held up at level 17 huffing balloons of this shit?. Time stood still as I surrendered to the inexorable allure, consumed by a dance that transcended mortal limits, fueled by an insatiable appetite for pleasure. There was ALOT of sex, although I'm not sure if we even had a penis or vagina, all I know is I was having full-blown orgasms, and so was everyone else, we were all fucking each other, groping and moaning.
An eternity seemed to pass within those wicked fucking walls until I finally stumbled upon the back door. There, an array of fantastical beings—part dog, part cat, part centipede, dragon, fairy, things I can't even explain, waited for their turn to descend. Embracing my new form as a birdperson lol, I joined their line, driven by an insatiable desire to explore what was beyond. And as the door swung open, a cacophony of whispers permeated the air, murmurs that warned of the infamous level 17, a point of no return where no one had ever emerged. Like we are all in line for a roller coaster.
We embarked on a 25-minute journey once again, accompanied by the enchanting melody of "Mirrors" by NBSPLV. It served as a subtle prelude, luring us deeper into the abyss, a downtempo-esque calm before the storm. The new level unfolded before us, matching the grandeur of its predecessors. this new level we reached it's just as big and just as wildly captivating as the previous levels, but it NEVER stops. It feels like we spend what feels like months going down and down years even, only to be fully stopped by the pleasures in each downward level we hit. level 16 was fucking unimaginable, I'm talking more of DMT dragons flying around, jellyfish made up of fractals globbing around, snakes, and seahorses, it's water-themed again, and there is no gravity but no water? matter of fact I haven't drunk a single drop of water or eaten food since I came into this place, almost like the need for it doesn't exist anymore. The deeper I go into this place it's almost like I've been here before. remembering I used to come here as a child, maybe this is was pure unadjusted imagination is like.
The song RUDRA (REWORK) is BLASTTING loud at this level, level 16 takes the cake if I must say. it never got old, I am HIGH, higher than I have ever fucking been.
(Pause to imagine LEVEL 16 Listening to the whole song i mentioned) ((PLEASE))
-The thought doesn't leave my mind though, what in the fuck is the infamous Tyler doing? how deep did he go? is he still alive? And if he is is he partying with other things? beings? did more follow? how many people are here exactly? someone must be taking the abandoned cars at the gate because I thought we were alone. I take it upon myself to go to this level's back door and open it, I'm met with a bright fluorescent LED light walkway. Very Futruistic, walking for what seems like an hour at this point, and there is no one with me. As I'm making a decent, I feel my high somewhat wear off. I finally feel the months of abuse to my body come on and I barely make it to the door before collapsing into it. To my surprise FUCKING ZACK opens the door, I wake up in a room with white walls, stainless steel furnishing, and a large kitchen, that looks like the biggest penthouse I have ever seen.
Looking around I see tons of people sleeping and eating and laughing, we are all taking a break. So I'm like damn it's over, I hear a familiar voice say, "No sir, this is just the beginning" I turn it Zach holding a plate of food for me Zach was undeterred. Driven by an insatiable hunger for knowledge and a thirst for transcendence, he vowed we are to always push forward, to confront the mysteries that lay shrouded in Level 17. He spoke of the rumors that within its depths, time flowed differently, moments stretching into eternities, and existence twisting into incomprehensible forms only to come back to reality in 17, its like a dead zone., I get up and follow him to the edge of the room. There are towering windows, it appears we are above ground now, I can see out the windows blue sky with clouds and rolling hills, we are not where we were at though it's too pretty. It almost seems fake, I will never know to be honest. A theory of mine is that it's VR, super high-tech holographs surreal to us to give us ease of being in the environment we were in for so long. Nonetheless, it was very therapeutic.
Zack tells me he and his buddy Tyler found this place after their fathers who worked here went missing. Zack would remember his dad coming home each night talking incessantly about crazy shit at work, then one day he stopped talking about it and the next month both their dads never came home. When they arrived it took them 2 years to find the hidden walkways. Zack and Tyler scared to explore it alone invited friends with cameras to come film their descent, but after level one is reached all footage goes corrupt. Tyler didn't take too kindly to this, and after Zack and Tyler spend many years making 17 so nice, it's the only level you're not affected by the chemical, Tyler assumed he could go 17 more down and reach another dead zone where he wouldn't be so high or lost, its been 11 years since anyone has saw Tyler, and many more people followed never to return. Zack claims just the level 18 is x100 crazier than all combined, that once you go further say goodbye to anyone and anything you ever knew about. I laugh and say at least the music has been FIRE it's almost like the LEVELS made the music for you, LEVEl 17 begins playing "2 Seater" by DJ Gummy BEAR, I almost want to go down to hear the music.
As Zach finished his account, a hushed silence fell over the room, the weight of their collective experiences palpable. They were a band of adventurers, seekers of truth, and slaves to their desires. They had danced with the gods, tasted ecstasy and agony in equal measure, and had become something more than mere mortals. But in their pursuit of the unknown, they had also lost parts of themselves along the way.
As I listened to Zach's tale, my mind swirled with conflicting emotions. The allure of the next level beckoned, promising untold wonders and revelations. But the warnings echoed in my ears, and the shadow of Tyler's fate cast a long, haunting silhouette over my resolve.
In that room, surrounded by fellow travelers on the edge of discovery, I found solace and solidarity. We shared a bond forged through the shared experience of pushing the boundaries of our existence. We were a tribe, a collective consciousness intertwined in an enigmatic dance with destiny.
As I took a moment to reflect, I realized that the answers I sought were not solely confined to the unexplored depths of Level 17. They resided within the collective wisdom of those who had traversed this labyrinth before me. It was in their stories, their cautionary tales, and their experiences that the keys to unlocking the mysteries lay hidden.
With newfound determination, I resolved to seek guidance from the veterans, to learn from their triumphs and their sorrows. Armed with their insights, I would embark on my journey, weaving through the levels with caution and curiosity, embracing the ecstasy and treading carefully around the abyss.
For in this realm of the lost souls down, where desires and dreams melded with the fabric of reality, the answers I sought were not simply found in the depths of Level 17. They were scattered throughout this labyrinth, waiting to be discovered, waiting to reveal the true nature of this enigmatic existence.
And so, with resolve in my heart and the echoes of Zach's tale etched into my mind, I joined the collective, ready to unravel the secrets of the lost souls and navigate the intricate pathways of this mesmerizing realm. The journey was far from over, and the adventure had only just begun. LEVEL 18 WE GOOOOOOO

Hello gorgeous couples, I am about to do a wedding expo as a Marriage Celebrant and wondering what draws you into a business when at an expo. I'm looking for inspo

Here is my story of being a hobbyist artist, while having a day job for the last five years. When I initially started on my art journey in 2017 I had a pipe dream that this can be passion/calling that will eventually become full time, replace my day job and I can make a living out of it. Oh man, how naive I was.
Initially I started by completing the “Draw a Box'' course and got comfortable with ink as a medium. Part of the course was drawing insects and I decided to draw a series of insects and posted it for sale on Etsy. Here is my post about it from five years ago.
I had very basic skills and I knew it, however I badly wanted to engage with reality and get at least a couple of sales. First I was checking my Etsy shop every day, but nothing was happening and I eventually lost interest. Several months later I checked my shop and to my surprise I made a sale! The sale which I already failed to ship ― I was long overdue, somehow I managed to miss the new order notification. I worked it out with the buyer and had one more sale a couple of months later. This was a positive feedback from reality ― my art was good enough for somebody to actually pay money for it.
Getting this validation was pleasant, however it pushed me towards an unhealthy mindset. I started to think about what I should draw/paint so it sells well, instead of sticking to my ideas. Maybe nursery art? Does it sell well? Maybe a series of sushi art? Or a series of nudes? Looking back this was a fruitless tendency ― all pieces that were driven by desire to sell did not sell well at all. Which begs the question, did my genuine pieces sell well? Only some of them, to be honest. But my takeaway was: I should work on my ideas and do genuine art. Most likely it won’t sell, but at least it would be genuine and I would have more fun while doing it. I remember during this time my wife told me: “You know it is actually good that your art is just a hobby, you can do whatever you want with it”. Back then it did not resonate with me, but later I realized how right she was. Art being just a hobby gives freedom.
In parallel with expending my Etsy shop inventory, I kept working on my skill. I learned human proportions, basic face and figure drawing, and most importantly started experimenting with watercolor. This was a major mental shift. Watercolor in a way is a completely opposite medium from ink. Looking back I understand why I embraced ink at the beginning of my art journey. Being from an engineering background I had a natural inclination towards precision and full control. And ink pens fits my mindset perfectly ― I can control the ink pen tip precisely. Watercolor however is a completely different story, it is about controlling chaos with gentle touches and willing to go with the flow and to embrace mistakes. It was very hard at the beginning, paper was buckling, strokes were either too watery or too dry, water was flowing not in the direction I wanted to. Chaos, complete chaos. All this was so against my nature that my back was clenching. But I decided to stick to it and gradually got better. Here is the recent work I am proud of: link. I also started to combine watercolor and ink, watercolor was easier to work big and cover large areas and ink was suitable for fine details and finishing touches. Here is an example of it: link
Now I want to talk a bit about conventional success and unique art style. I can’t help but notice that the variety of styles, mediums and themes in my art is too wide. The net I am casting is too wide. Being creative is a gift and a curse simultaneously because my mind always wanders and wants to try different styles and mediums. Same stands if I zoom out from the art as a hobby. I had many hobbies before art and I kept switching, because (sigh..) my mind kept wandering. Five years ago I decided to stick with an art hobby for long time to see it through. Now I am experiencing the same dynamic but in context of styles and mediums.
When I look at successful (in conventional meaning) artists I see that their mind was wandering as well. They tried different styles until they arrived at their unique style and stayed locked on it. With instagram feed it is particularly easy to see, since you can scroll down through the years. Example of it would be crap_panther. I really like her art, and I can see how she arrived at it as I scroll her feed.
As I think about how I will evolve as an artist I am wondering if I will keep oscillating between styles or I will arrive at my unique style and stay locked on it. I don’t know right now, but I will let you know in five years.