Any other Canadian residents willing to answer questions?
I can relocate anywhere in Canada for school
Which schools are the best and most likely to accept applicants? Willing to put in the work
I’ve checked out the schools and have seen on average it’s $250k for 4yrs is that correct or similar to what you’ve paid?
Will it be a total of 7 years of university to become a dentist?
My biggest issue which may interfere with this career choice is that I have a criminal record from 10years ago when I was 18 and a dumb kid fresh out of high school.
Will call the universities for my other questions as I don’t think they can be answered here.

I’ve been operating at 110% for a while now. A good while. I’ve got a husband and 3 kids, and my life is utterly relentless. I am not my own individual self anymore. I basically exist to serve everyone else. I do every damn thing. Yes there is a man that lives here that “helps” but how helpful is it when I have to constantly tell the man what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, how to do it, when the kids need something, what time their appointments are, etc. I have 2 toddlers and 1 preteen. My house is akin to a zoo on crack. There’s lights on all day, because the man that lives here doesn’t seem to know how to turn off a light, the toddlers don’t nap anymore, and they are always hungry but never seem to take more than 2 bites of food, my preteen rolls her eyes at everything, husband works nights and can somehow sleep through every thing and I wouldn’t be surprised if he slept right through a tornado. My home is no longer my sanctuary because it’s become a place of high stress. I am literally on my feet from 6am to 10pm with my only break being the job I work at. I work full time and get to spend my 2 days off doing everything my husband just disregards all week, such as the grocery shopping (his idea of grocery shopping is buying enough food ingredients for ONE meal), the cleaning (he hasn’t cleaned the bathtub in 2 months, I’ve counted), and rest of boring things like washing the car, taking out trash, and spending some time with the kids. So basically I have no days off.
I cried to myself in my room on Monday night. Here is everything I did on that day from sun up to sun down:
6am: woke up for work 7am: went outside to warm up my car and take all the bags to it (lunch bags, diaper bag, purse) 7:30am: dropped off kids to MIL house/school for the day 8am: stopped by a breakfast joint and got myself food 8:30-5pm: work 5:15pm: arrive home 5:30pm: cook dinneeat/feed kids 6:30-7pm: clean up toys/prepare for bath time 7:15-8:15pm: bath time/dressed for bed (because I have to do 2 toddlers) 8:15-8:45pm: pack their lunches, pack my lunch, pack their clothes for tomorrow. 8:50-9ish: brush toddlers teeth, brush my teeth 9:15-9:30: read bedtime stories to toddlers - husband leaves for work 10:00pm: when toddlers are finally tired enough to fall asleep
My husband’s daily schedule:
7:00am: arrive home from work 7:30-3:00pm: sleep 3:45-4pm: picks up kids (Proceeds to spend an hour at his mom’s house) 5:00pm: arrives home, possibly wash the dishes 5:30-7pm: does nothing but watch tv 7pm-9:20pm: takes a pre-work nap 9:30-9:45pm: leaves for work
Do you guys see the disparity or is it just me?? So because I walk around like a zombie all week long with a slight attitude, husband claims he has no idea why I’ve become the way I am. I’m dead inside. My legs burn at the end of the night. I’m sad for myself. I don’t feel like a wife, I feel like an unpaid maid and nanny. I don’t even get a thank you or just a hug. I’m breaking down slowly inside but I keep going because I have to, I love my kids. I’ve tried bringing ALL this up to the man who lives here but it falls each time on deaf ears. He has no empathy or understanding of my feelings. I’ve given up.
If you’ve gotten this far, I appreciate you for reading. It felt good getting this out.
TLDR: My husband is basically a roommate and I’m over it.

For those that are interested in the gray area of online money making, I have decided to create a small tutorial on how to make some money with free movie streaming sites
Another reason for this post is that i've been seeing posts asking for ways that one can make money online with a limited budget and i thought that this would be a useful resource for such people.
I went ahead to create a landing page and a movie streaming leech site that essentially allows for free movie streaming. You can edit the CSS and HTML to add ads, content lockers, offer walls, donation pages etc as you see fit.
Since the site is hot linking to other websites with the content, I think no laws are being broken here.
A portfolio of free movie streaming niche sites that haven’t been up for a long time has been making $400 to $4000 a month. This can be more if marketing was more aggressive.
I have provided the complete source code for the movie sites on the links below if you want to try your hand at it.
If you are non technical and need a hand at hosting the site (node JS and MongoDB for the back-end, bootstrap for the UI ), you can always DM me and I can set it up for you.
So here we go:
There’s a certain user who is making an average of $500 a month with a few niche sites. He is monetizing it with a single popup over a 24 hour period meaning that the daily income could be much higher if he was more aggressive with ad serving. There’s also no mention of up-selling using email meaning that the income from the streaming sites would even go to $x,xxx per day if he exploited them to the max.
Here’s an attached screenshot of income from streaming sites HERE
why you should consider creating a few niche movie streaming sites

1. ppl like movies and they like free things. All it takes is a single tweet or mention to go viral
2. very little investment is needed. The scripts in the links below cost around $20 for a fully functional site
3. high likelihood of making money

why you maybe shouldn’t make movie streaming sites

1. You might have to deal with the legality of said sites in your country
2. hosting can be expensive if your site starts getting traction or if you decide to self host content
3. getting an affiliate network that works for your kind of traffic might be tricky, although not impossible.
4. There’s a lot of competition in the space meaning that you have to niche down e.g maybe make a site for a certain type of scifi movie

What you need to build the site

1. a domain – from what I’ve seen, you should choose from one of the following TLDs: .com, .site, .to, .today, .ru, .it, .pw, .ac, .ws . It seems that these are harder to be taken down than others but you are free to experiment with others
2. a hosting provider: you should use an offshore bulletproof hosting provider just to be safe.
3. a website/ script: you can either code one yourself or buy a starter kit. If you want a kit, there’s one in the links section below
4. something to sell: this can be anything e.g en eBook, an online course, an affiliate product etc. I personally have sold a lot of self published KDP ebooks. Also I have found some success with the CPAgrip affiliate network. What I did is change the script around and put some movies behind an offer wall.
5. A themoviedb.org API key: This free API key is gotten on the API section of the aforementioned site. The streaming site provider uses this free API to list movie details. You can set up a free account here

A word about the provided starter kit
The starter kit in the links below is a fully functional movie streaming website and landing page combo.
The landing page is made with normal CSS and HTML so uploading it to a static hosting provider should be straightforward.
The actual streaming site is a NodeJS, ExpressJS app hooked up to a MongoDB database. The site is hot linking to a third party hosting site for simplicity and also to solve the legal dilemma of hosting such content.
The MongoDB database code is ready to do but the code that connects to it is commented out because you need a unique connection string to connect to it. The site can still work without the db connection since it’s being used to collect emails and user data. You can always DM me to set up a custom db for you if you so need to.
I hosted the landing page and the steaming site on Vercel and Render respectively and it was fairly easy to do. There are many YouTube videos that explain in better detail how to do this.
As always, if you have any questions on how to host the sites, you can always DM me for clarifications.
The following are the live versions of the starter kit templates being offered:
landing page – here
streaming site - here
The easiest way is to use a CI solution with GitHub to the hosting platform. This set up process varies from platform to platform and there’s no need to go into the details in this non technical tutorial
getting traffic
I used the 3 major things to get traffic. They include:

1. SEO
2. influencer marketing on TikTok
3. YouTuber traffic

SEO
The only SEO I did was in the web pages. I made sure I used proper words in the websites without coming off as spammy. There was no off-page SEO because I was opting to go with word of mouth as the main traffic source.
YouTube Traffic
I used a website called channel crawler (just google it). It has a free tier that gives a list of YouTube channels based on, among other things, niche and YouTube subscriber count.
I figured that I should go for smaller YouTubers since the larger ones tend to already have monetized their channels with all sorts of things (membership sites, affiliate links etc). I decided to go for niche channels with under 50k subs that didn't have much of a monetization strategy.
After getting a list of YouTubers, the email extraction was repetitive and time consuming. I'd go to the channel, go to the about page and reveal the email. After doing this a number of times, YT would ask me to solve a capta. I wanted to write a bot to automate this but I decided to first do it manually to see if the idea would pan out.
Now, I noticed that YT only allows you to get about 10 emails every 24 hours. How I went around this was by creating another channel. A new channel on the same account meant a new profile that I could extract around 10 more emails. YT allows around around 50 (or is it 75) channels for a single account. So that means one can extract >500 emails per day with one email account (very tedious by hand, a python script would have made this much easier)
I extracted around around 1200 emails with this method and put them in an excel sheet.
Next came the cold emailing.
I made sure that the email copy had the following characteristics:

1. short, about 100 to 200 words
2. got straight to the point (no fluff words like ‘how is your day’)
3. had a clear call to action. In this case, I wanted a video review and a link on the description

I should also add that I used gmail to send out the emails. I don't think the emails were going to spam because I wasn't send too many from one account. around 40 per email account.
TikTok traffic
I basically opened an account and started following and cold messaging small TikTok creators until some decided to review the extension.
While I got some leads here, most of the traffic has come from the previous 2 traffic sources.
resources needed:
Here are the links to the resources you’ll need if you want to try this method for yourself
required:
movie streaming site starter kit (paid, very little for a fully working site)– here
movie streaming site starter kit (free but content locked) - here
movie list API key (free) - here
optional
MongoDB connection string (free) - here

TL;DR What can I (F24) do to help myself with coming to terms that my first actual relationship is not working due to my partner’s (M22) inexperience in life and lack of dicipline, no boundaries and very low self-esteem ?
We are both freshmen, studying different majors, and the reason we started dating was cause he was obsessed with me (or idea of having a gf) and wouldn’t stop dm-ing, and I found his stubbornness cute at first, just to realise that he is in-fact limerencing over me.
I appreciate his good heart but sometimes I find myself teaching him manners/respect and playing a parent-like role.
He is the only child of a single-narcissistic (per his words) mother and I am tired of making excuses for his behaviour and my unfulfilment.
He is seeking therapy after he a threw a tantrum that ended up hurting me to an emotional numbness… yet I still feel like it is not fair that Ive worked on myself before taking on a relationship while he hasn’t. He does not view this as a problem.
Is it fair that he gets to drag down the version of me that I’ve worked hard for while he is presenting to me an ungrown version of himself ?
My GPA did not turn out so well over the first simester as I was trying to also maintain this relationship but unlike him…he failed all his courses!!
I am failing to understand a lot of things.
My goal in a relationship is partnership, marriage and becoming a mother but I don’t know if he can bring anything to the table by the time we graduate.
( I also enjoy healthy amount of solitude while he can’t stand being on his own). I’ve grown hopeless when it comes to relationships from what I’ve seen in my family but I chose to give this a shot to see where it takes us, maybe his stubbornness gave me some reassurance at the beginning.

I’ve been operating at 110% for a while now. A good while. I’ve got a husband and 3 kids, and my life is utterly relentless. I am not my own individual self anymore. I basically exist to serve everyone else. I do every damn thing. Yes there is a man that lives here that “helps” but how helpful is it when I have to constantly tell the man what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, how to do it, when the kids need something, what time their appointments are, etc. I have 2 toddlers and 1 preteen. My house is akin to a zoo on crack. There’s lights on all day, because the man that lives here doesn’t seem to know how to turn off a light, the toddlers don’t nap anymore, and they are always hungry but never seem to take more than 2 bites of food, my preteen rolls her eyes at everything, husband works nights and can somehow sleep through every thing and I wouldn’t be surprised if he slept right through a tornado. My home is no longer my sanctuary because it’s become a place of high stress. I am literally on my feet from 6am to 10pm with my only break being the job I work at. I work full time and get to spend my 2 days off doing everything my husband just disregards all week, such as the grocery shopping (his idea of grocery shopping is buying enough food ingredients for ONE meal), the cleaning (he hasn’t cleaned the bathtub in 2 months, I’ve counted), and rest of boring things like washing the car, taking out trash, and spending some time with the kids. So basically I have no days off.
I cried to myself in my room on Monday night. Here is everything I did on that day from sun up to sun down:
6am: woke up for work 7am: went outside to warm up my car and take all the bags to it (lunch bags, diaper bag, purse) 7:30am: dropped off kids to MIL house/school for the day 8am: stopped by a breakfast joint and got myself food 8:30-5pm: work 5:15pm: arrive home 5:30pm: cook dinneeat/feed kids 6:30-7pm: clean up toys/prepare for bath time 7:15-8:15pm: bath time/dressed for bed (because I have to do 2 toddlers) 8:15-8:45pm: pack their lunches, pack my lunch, pack their clothes for tomorrow. 8:50-9ish: brush toddlers teeth, brush my teeth 9:15-9:30: read bedtime stories to toddlers - husband leaves for work 10:00pm: when toddlers are finally tired enough to fall asleep
My husband’s daily schedule:
7:00am: arrive home from work 7:30-3:00pm: sleep 3:45-4pm: picks up kids (Proceeds to spend an hour at his mom’s house) 5:00pm: arrives home, possibly wash the dishes 5:30-7pm: does nothing but watch tv 7pm-9:20pm: takes a pre-work nap 9:30-9:45pm: leaves for work
Do you guys see the disparity or is it just me?? So because I walk around like a zombie all week long with a slight attitude, husband claims he has no idea why I’ve become the way I am. I’m dead inside. My legs burn at the end of the night. I’m sad for myself. I don’t feel like a wife, I feel like an unpaid maid and nanny. I don’t even get a thank you or just a hug. I’m breaking down slowly inside but I keep going because I have to, I love my kids. I’ve tried bringing ALL this up to the man who lives here but it falls each time on deaf ears. He has no empathy or understanding of my feelings. I’ve given up.
If you’ve gotten this far, I appreciate you for reading. It felt good getting this out.
TLDR: My husband is basically a roommate and I’m over it.

I made my partner a nice steak dinner, post work, he didn’t discuss his work, was weirdly quiet. He got up in the middle of dinner to type something on his phone, he had a smirk on his face, and reminded me of a little boy who was excited about opening a present. For the first time in a while, he has started to pay attention to his looks,he shaves more often,and just got an unexpected hair cut—-for the longest while his style was grudge tech guy who wears sandals,old band shirts and jeans. Lately, he has been wearing khakis, and collared shirts (he has not switch jobs or or job roles since this change). He has also tried exercising more and has been using my exercise bike. This is the first time in a year that I have seen him use it.
I made him a nice dinner because I feel like it might be the last as I am thinking about leaving and maybe maybe there would be a moment where I remembered that I loved humans/or I could convince myself he is not so bad. Also for nostalgia.
I went to the post office and shipped some valuables home, slowly packing my belongings, and seriously getting ready to move out of this state—-this state is not my home home (I moved out of state with him for his work). I have friends, family, and job opportunities in my home state.
While he is enjoying his life, having fun, doing whatever he wants and not caring about my emotional, physical health, and essentially not giving a shit about me—-I have been putting so much of my energy into this and this has taken over my mental space. I have been stressed. I am not having fun. This has been incredibly hurtful. He only cares about himself
I cannot live with someone who I cannot trust…..

I’ve been operating at 110% for a while now. A good while. I’ve got a husband and 3 kids, and my life is utterly relentless. I am not my own individual self anymore. I basically exist to serve everyone else. I do every damn thing. Yes there is a man that lives here that “helps” but how helpful is it when I have to constantly tell the man what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, how to do it, when the kids need something, what time their appointments are, etc. I have 2 toddlers and 1 preteen. My house is akin to a zoo on crack. There’s lights on all day, because the man that lives here doesn’t seem to know how to turn off a light, the toddlers don’t nap anymore, and they are always hungry but never seem to take more than 2 bites of food, my preteen rolls her eyes at everything, husband works nights and can somehow sleep through every thing and I wouldn’t be surprised if he slept right through a tornado. My home is no longer my sanctuary because it’s become a place of high stress. I am literally on my feet from 6am to 10pm with my only break being the job I work at. I work full time and get to spend my 2 days off doing everything my husband just disregards all week, such as the grocery shopping (his idea of grocery shopping is buying enough food ingredients for ONE meal), the cleaning (he hasn’t cleaned the bathtub in 2 months, I’ve counted), and rest of boring things like washing the car, taking out trash, and spending some time with the kids. So basically I have no days off.
I cried to myself in my room on Monday night. Here is everything I did on that day from sun up to sun down:
6am: woke up for work 7am: went outside to warm up my car and take all the bags to it (lunch bags, diaper bag, purse) 7:30am: dropped off kids to MIL house/school for the day 8am: stopped by a breakfast joint and got myself food 8:30-5pm: work 5:15pm: arrive home 5:30pm: cook dinneeat/feed kids 6:30-7pm: clean up toys/prepare for bath time 7:15-8:15pm: bath time/dressed for bed (because I have to do 2 toddlers) 8:15-8:45pm: pack their lunches, pack my lunch, pack their clothes for tomorrow. 8:50-9ish: brush toddlers teeth, brush my teeth 9:15-9:30: read bedtime stories to toddlers - husband leaves for work 10:00pm: when toddlers are finally tired enough to fall asleep
My husband’s daily schedule:
7:00am: arrive home from work 7:30-3:00pm: sleep 3:45-4pm: picks up kids (Proceeds to spend an hour at his mom’s house) 5:00pm: arrives home, possibly wash the dishes 5:30-7pm: does nothing but watch tv 7pm-9:20pm: takes a pre-work nap 9:30-9:45pm: leaves for work
Do you guys see the disparity or is it just me?? So because I walk around like a zombie all week long with a slight attitude, husband claims he has no idea why I’ve become the way I am. I’m dead inside. My legs burn at the end of the night. I’m sad for myself. I don’t feel like a wife, I feel like an unpaid maid and nanny. I don’t even get a thank you or just a hug. I’m breaking down slowly inside but I keep going because I have to, I love my kids. I’ve tried bringing ALL this up to the man who lives here but it falls each time on deaf ears. He has no empathy or understanding of my feelings. I’ve given up.
If you’ve gotten this far, I appreciate you for reading. It felt good getting this out.
TLDR: My husband is basically a roommate and I’m over it.

My mum has lots of chronic illness including adrenal insufficiency, brain tumor, carpel syndrome ehlers danlos syndrome and more. I understand that she does need assistance with things and we have done our best at our ages (18M, 16F, 14F) to help with what we can but it feels like its getting too much. She still is capable of driving and doing some usual things as the tumor is non-cancerous and is growing very slowly and her adrenal insufficiency is maintained with the right medications even though she is still bound to have bad days.
The weight on my (18M) shoulders feels too much because of how long its been like this, our father passed away when i was 14 so its all on us. Mum expects mainly me to walk over to the shops almost everytime we need something even though she is capable of driving, she always is asking for me to get stuff for her because she doesnt want to get up again after sitting down like so many times throughout the day I will have to stop whatever work im doing and come out to hand her the tv remote or put her bottle in the fridge or anything so simple when i know shes capable of it. We all have to do our own chores daily and also look after 4 dogs and 2 cats that need feeding, water and attention aswell as mum constantly getting mad at me because I need to be bringing money in yet i never have the chance to hold a job because of how dependent she is on me at home. I feel as if I don't have a life in the slightest and that it will always be this way, I dont get to do anything people my age do, I'm expected to help financially ontop of everything else I do and am burdened because of it.
She only ever yells or gets mad at me for not doing enough because she has it in her mind that i'm 18 so i should be paying my rent and food aswell as doing everything I already do for her and its constantly weighing down on my mental health. I know for sure that she is capable of more than what she is doing, I know because I've lived with her my whole life and I see what she does around the house and when she wants to get smokes she'll drive and everything, it almost feels as if she's using her illnesses as an excuse to not do what she is actually capable of. How can I ever do something with myself when theres such high dependence on me at home all the time. I mean i'm literally yelled at to go and let the dogs in and out of the house like 10 times throughout the day. The smallest things add up.
I feel like I need an out, I don't know if I can keep doing this. She makes me feel like shit everyday. I don't even have a license because I never get the chance to learn to drive.

I’ve been operating at 110% for a while now. A good while. I’ve got a husband and 3 kids, and my life is utterly relentless. I am not my own individual self anymore. I basically exist to serve everyone else. I do every damn thing. Yes there is a man that lives here that “helps” but how helpful is it when I have to constantly tell the man what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, how to do it, when the kids need something, what time their appointments are, etc. I have 2 toddlers and 1 preteen. My house is akin to a zoo on crack. There’s lights on all day, because the man that lives here doesn’t seem to know how to turn off a light, the toddlers don’t nap anymore, and they are always hungry but never seem to take more than 2 bites of food, my preteen rolls her eyes at everything, husband works nights and can somehow sleep through every thing and I wouldn’t be surprised if he slept right through a tornado. My home is no longer my sanctuary because it’s become a place of high stress. I am literally on my feet from 6am to 10pm with my only break being the job I work at. I work full time and get to spend my 2 days off doing everything my husband just disregards all week, such as the grocery shopping (his idea of grocery shopping is buying enough food ingredients for ONE meal), the cleaning (he hasn’t cleaned the bathtub in 2 months, I’ve counted), and rest of boring things like washing the car, taking out trash, and spending some time with the kids. So basically I have no days off.
I cried to myself in my room on Monday night. Here is everything I did on that day from sun up to sun down:
6am: woke up for work 7am: went outside to warm up my car and take all the bags to it (lunch bags, diaper bag, purse) 7:30am: dropped off kids to MIL house/school for the day 8am: stopped by a breakfast joint and got myself food 8:30-5pm: work 5:15pm: arrive home 5:30pm: cook dinneeat/feed kids 6:30-7pm: clean up toys/prepare for bath time 7:15-8:15pm: bath time/dressed for bed (because I have to do 2 toddlers) 8:15-8:45pm: pack their lunches, pack my lunch, pack their clothes for tomorrow. 8:50-9ish: brush toddlers teeth, brush my teeth 9:15-9:30: read bedtime stories to toddlers - husband leaves for work 10:00pm: when toddlers are finally tired enough to fall asleep
My husband’s daily schedule:
7:00am: arrive home from work 7:30-3:00pm: sleep 3:45-4pm: picks up kids (Proceeds to spend an hour at his mom’s house) 5:00pm: arrives home, possibly wash the dishes 5:30-7pm: does nothing but watch tv 7pm-9:20pm: takes a pre-work nap 9:30-9:45pm: leaves for work
Do you guys see the disparity or is it just me?? So because I walk around like a zombie all week long with a slight attitude, husband claims he has no idea why I’ve become the way I am. I’m dead inside. My legs burn at the end of the night. I’m sad for myself. I don’t feel like a wife, I feel like an unpaid maid and nanny. I don’t even get a thank you or just a hug. I’m breaking down slowly inside but I keep going because I have to, I love my kids. I’ve tried bringing ALL this up to the man who lives here but it falls each time on deaf ears. He has no empathy or understanding of my feelings. I’ve given up.
If you’ve gotten this far, I appreciate you for reading. It felt good getting this out.
TLDR: My husband is basically a roommate and I’m over it.

If you were to create an episode of “you can’t ask that” (as seen on abc), what topic would you pick and What questions would you ask?
For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a tv program focusing on minority groups and the unhinged, socially inappropriate questions they’re asked and what they give as an answer.

PART 1 OF 2 This happened 8 years ago now when I (M16) was in highschool. Each concussion happened at on a seperate occasion.
The first happened when me and a few friends decided to wrestle at a community center where I used to live (Ontario, Canada). We decided on a tournament style where the winner will get a large pizza that all the losers pay for. The fights were a simple one on one, win by tap or an obvious overpowerment. We all circled the two main fighters and watched them wrestle until it was our turn. I had my eye on my first matchup, Z (M15), who was easily the skinniest and therefore the easiest to wrestle. Once it was our turn to fight, Z backed out, leaving me without a matchup. My round got skipped and it was agreed upon by the rest of the fighters that if I wanted to fight then I could skip to the next round.
Concussion #1 Fast forward to my next opponent, someone who thought was on my level due to a small difference in our age (Me 16 & my opponent, A being 17). I had the height on him by a bit but he easily weighed 10 or 15 pounds more than me. I knew that I had to end the fight fast as he might be stronger than me. The first thing I did was put him in The ol' reliable, a headlock. I positioned myself to one angle so that I could use all my power to thrust to the other side and throw us both on the ground. This amazing move should put him in a daze of confusion and that is when I should put him in some sort of submission hold until he taps out and I become the victor. I had the entire scenario in my head pictured in what looked like a That's So Raven glimpse into the future. Now time to execute this bodacious maneuver. I jolted from one side to the other and tried to throw him to the ground but he eliminated any thoughts of filling my stomach with any form of cheesy Italian cuisine with one simple maneuver: he took a step backwards. This move let him slip out of the headlock and left me to think about everything that led to this point while I fell in what felt like slow motion. I did not have any time to prepare for the fall other than tilting my head down so that I don't break my nose. I got the top of my forehead on the carpeted but still extremely hard ground. It hurt but I didn't feel anything weird until I got up and felt like vomitting. My vision had motion blur and it felt like I was looking through a tunnel because I lost my peripheral vision. I started reaching my arms out to grab anyone near me because the motion blur was affecting my depth perception. I was helped to sit out in a corner as I considered my life choices that led me here and how I took my regular vision for granted. We hid this from any adults that could possible get us in trouble but we did ask for help from some "cool" early 20s staff who we usually hung out with. They told me that I cannot sleep in a situation like this even though I was suddenly getting sleepy and they told me the possibility of more harm if I actually slept. I stayed awake due to fear of brain damage and "toughed it out" like my friends suggested I do.
Concussion #2 Now fast forward 6 months later. I am in grade 11 playing basketball with my friends when happen to trip on a crack in the cement floor that felt a lot bigger than it looked. I tried to brace my fall with my arms, but the pushups I always skipped came back to haunt me. I couldn't catch myself and I don't know whether it's the speed at which I fell or the fact that I couldn't even hold myself in a pushup form if my life depended on it. This led to me faceplanting the cement and my glasses which I had on the entire time smashing on impact (this miraculously did not cause me any harm in any way) and my face cutting open at the temple. Blood poured out like honey out of a bottle and my friends got me tissue paper to cover the bleeding. I was to distracted by the amount of bleeding to realize that I had a concussion. This time it was a similar feeling to the first time. I was ready. I remained calm, tried to stop the bleeding, and waited patiently for the ambulance to come. The EMTs confirmed that I showed symptoms of a concussion and I rode with them to the hospital. The doctor later confirmed that the cut on my head was on a weird angle and the stitching it might cuz issues once it heals so the bleeding was stopped and a bandage was placed over the gooey stuff they used to cover the wound.
Concussion #3 Fast forward to the next semester. It is Finals Week of my grade 11 year and we just finished one of our exams. We decided that since we have the rest of the school day off to prepare for our next exam, we have some time to play basketball. We have one "court". It looks similar to the place in the warehouse where they had that basketball episode in the office. This is the same court where I tripped and fell and recieved my concussion #2. {This year we went to the finals in the local high school basketball tournament and lost not because they were better, but because our starting five (including a 6 foot 5 kid that plays rep) got tired due to us playing multiple games back to back. This kid was 1 year younger than me but he fit into our friend group because all of his friends were our age as well.} I was chasing my tall friend who just grabbed the rebound but I got too close to him from behind and ended up tripping on one of his long freaky stick legs. This was unintentional from him as he couldn't have known that I was that close to him as he would've positioned himself differently. I still haven't improved in my workout routine so I still couldn't defend myself from gravity. Face_plant3.exe. My glasses spontaneously combusted upon impact and my face was led to the same fate as my previous encounter against this undefeated foe. I picked myself off the ground and looked down as I saw my poorly rendered reflection in a small pool of blood where I just got up from. I positioned myself to sit against a wall as the adrenaline basically made the pain non-existent as I sat there angry at myself for getting in a situation like this for the second time within a year. I was rushed by teachers and students who helped me stop the bleeding as they called 911. It was then that I started to notice the effects of my concussion. Everything from the tunnelling vision to the nausea. However, there was one issue that worried me. The tunneling vision exceeded my peripherals and slowly covered my full vision with darkness. I looked around at the places where I knew the lights were positioned to see if I noticed anything but I couldn't see them. I remembered to stay calm and asked my teacher who was helping me if the lights were still on. He didn't answer immediately. He then said "What do you mean? Of course they are. What?" Once he confirmed what I suspected, my calm mind reminded me of Daredevil on Netflix in the scene when he lost his sight. I thought the super hearing or super senses might kick in but it was just regular senses minus sight. I prepared for the worst and I just thought about all the things I could no longer enjoy in life. My VR headset. Gaming. TV. Oh god, Anime? Reality started to kick in around 10 min later when I was waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Eventually I started to see some light from one eye and then the next. It started with light, then blurry colors. Then shapes. Then a few hours later my sight was back to normal. Part 2 is about losing my ability to sleep some weeks later because of my head injuries
TL;DR - Got 3 different concussions with one leading to temporary blindness.

Used nizoral on skin, the anti dandruff shampoo.. cream was out of stock so settled for it. I used it fine for days before but always for less than 20 min. . this time i didn't rinse and slept
where I applied is like creased /wrinkled and much darker skin tone
A[plied nivea and Vaseline constantly for a month. Seen no visible improvement, its still just as creased and dark.
But I've been searching everywhere but I can't find anything to cure it. I cant see a dermatologist right now I need help for now please!

Life comes in many flavours, and each day we face many questions. Some of these questions are judgements. And some of these judgements involve others in significant and meaningful ways. On the one hand, we seek to satisfy our personal needs -- self-determination -- while maintaining a sense of virtue -- compassion and justice. For many, there is too much injustice and suffering just to ignore. On the other hand, balancing the needs of us and them beckons honest appraisal of situations and people. But where and how should our finger be pointed?

Core psychology of blame

Among the very earliest struggles in a person's life is the process of ego development. In its simplest, ego is about separating good from bad, self from other. Various theories and models strive to explain the ego, or its development, from various perspectives. For the purposes here, I will be referencing object relations theory, which is part psychoanalytic psychology and deals with very early development, starting at birth. A few things will be slightly simplified to keep the text concise.
Within this theory, the first several months involve what is termed the paranoid-schizoid position. The "schizoid" aspect refers to a cognitive-emotional process known as splitting. This is where external objects, including people, are split into opposing mental parts -- to form part objects, or the "good object" version and the "bad object" version of each meaningful external object or phenomenon. For example, when the caregiver is gratifying to the infant, that part object is the "good caretaker"; and when not so gratifying, that caretaker is the "bad caretaker". At this stage of development and understanding, these two "part objects" are not seen as from the same source. Rather, each is a separate thing appearing and disappearing as circumstances and feelings change. The key word here is separation, which we will come back to later.
The other aspect of the paranoid-schizoid position -- the "paranoid" aspect -- refers to a curious side effect of splitting everything into "good" and "bad". Because each "part object" is either all good, or all bad, and because the appearance and disappearance of these mysterious entities is more-or-less out of control, the infant begins to resent and fear the bad objects that keep happening. That is, the baby hates the bad objects but loves the good objects. This is perhaps the very first stage of moral awareness -- raw, albeit mistaken judgement; love the good; hate the bad; pure, uninhibited attraction and repulsion. As a result, or side effect, of these negative or aggressive feelings toward "the bad", the baby may fear possible persecution, invoking paranoia. Strange though that may sound, there is a bit more to it.
Splitting, as between the mentioned "good" and "bad" objects, is only half the story. The other half of splitting is between "good self" and "bad self". That is, because in the paranoid-schizoid position, objects are temporary and impermanent, so too is the self temporary and fleeting. Moreover, the self is either in comfort, or in distress, giving either "good self" or "bad self" -- depending on circumstance. Since the "good self" appears with the "good object", and likewise the "bad self" with the "bad object", the child fears the appearance of the "bad object" even more. This is because its presence entails essentially collapse of the previous self-concept, as if to enter a realm of deserved persecution for being the "bad self" -- and hence the emergence of paranoia.
On an interesting aside, this manner of judging objects and selves as good or bad based solely on whether one is currently in comfort or pain is the essence of Stage 1 in Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development. This is a theory on the progression of individuals throughout life in moral reasoning. Stage 1, termed obedience and punishment orientation, judges those in trouble or pain as inherently bad. In many cases, this view basically blames the victim. Further, this type of reasoning is essentially the basis for the "might makes right" mindset seen in some cases of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). One thing to keep in mind is that we all start there, but not everyone stays there. In this way, having crude moral reasoning later in life is effectively a sign of delayed or regressed development, much like a disability -- ie. "morally disabled".

Completing the person

Eventually, the child will reach a point in development where objects become whole and persistent, able to have simultaneously negative and positive qualities. Objects or people may take on accounts, or balances, allowing for consideration of simple reciprocity, including guilt and reparation. Self and caregiver become distinct entities, where "good" self is no longer lost each time caregiver is absent or busy. Assuming successful progression, blame and judgement is no longer split dichotically between two extremes. Otherwise a new type of splitting is come, where objects and entities, though whole and persistent, are either idealised or devalued.
An important key trend exists between consecutive steps of ego development. This is the trend of expanding persistence and relatedness. In the part-object stage, objects appear and vanish -- some good, some bad. These raw appearances are neither persistent, nor related. In the whole-object stage, objects become persistent, although at first not really related. Because of this initial lack of relation, the secondary type of splitting -- idealisation and devaluation -- is still likely. Basically, since one person or object is fundamentally unrelated to another, including the self, there is "no harm" in seeing one as all good, and another as all bad. Without a stabilising relation, moral judgements can be whimsical yet extreme. A person or object may alternate between being embraced and discarded, depending on present feelings or arrangements. But what makes a stabilising relation?
In general, stabilising relations develop naturally through observation and reason. For example, a caregiver may through time be taken as an intrinsic part of one's need for support. Or a sibling may eventually be seen as fundamentally similar and related. But the building of these relations, or attachments, can be hindered by certain experiences or feelings. For instance, an unstable or unavailable caregiver may leave a child feeling resentment, shame, or guilt. These feelings may then get in the way of building an emotional bond. The resulting lack of security, mixed with possible shame or guilt for not being good enough, may lead to maladaptive and unstable boundaries and self-definition. Some common results are narcissism and borderline personality -- the former as an escape mechanism from feelings of inadequacy, and the latter as unstable border-lines between what is embraced, and what is rejected. These early childhood misgivings can then live on subconsciously, infiltrating the psyche and its future engagements.

Competition and judgement

While the capacity for blame and hate may emerge, as described above, from fundamental urges of attraction and repulsion -- mixed with innate capacity for making inference -- there is another powerful instinct at play. Complex social animals have a built-in game of gene-selection and mate-selection. This game relies on a simple heuristic, or objective -- form competitive hierarchies, and select those at the top. The evolutionary assumption is that competition filters out less desirable code. Without reflection, this pre-configured notion may be taken at face value, often in fact elevated -- whether spoken or kept silent -- to something of religious adherence. But is the argument sound?
In simple times, back in the tribe, individuals tended to grow up closely-knit and fairly uniformly. Regardless which parents one had, pretty much everyone had access to the same quality of food, healthcare, and education. Tools and other amenities could readily be made or obtained by any abled body, often with only modest effort. As a result, there was, compared to modern times, an extremely even playing field. Very little interfered with the above premise that those who achieved success in social hierarchy likely had something special inside. Sure, luck still played a part, but that part was not only far less significant than today, but also far more visible for those of simple tribes. In probably most cases, everybody knew when someone had encountered bad fortune, as individual stories were less hidden.
In the current age, however, personal merit is vastly more obscured and mangled by deceptive forces. The range of disparity in childhood resources and care, the long duration of schooling needed to be competitive, and the sheer price of admission into money-making pursuits, completely destroy any legitimacy the heuristic of selection by social hierarchy may previously have had. Luck may have played a part back then, but today the part played by the lottery of placement into a particular family, time, and place is riddled with inequity. On top of all that, the behaviours and exploits that set one person atop the next are lost from sight through the complex labyrinth of time, legalese, and the unfathomable size of modern society. Hence, the basis of soundness behind judging merit on personal outcome is no longer something that can be supported with any honesty. To praise or blame based on social status and wealth is to partake in folly.

Entity and arrangement defined

Entities are mental objects, and their social accounts, pertaining to people, groups, aggregates, and other moral agents. I say mental objects for two basic reasons. One, individuals and groups change through time. As the saying goes:

"A person never steps into the same river twice; for on the second occasion, one is neither the same person, nor is it the same river" (paraphrased) ~ Heraclitus of Ephesus.

Two, while we may posit that physical substance seems to exist out there, beyond the mind, we nevertheless must work within our mental model, or worldview, when considering those entities and other things of material or mental reality. Hence, entities and objects can be cognised, or considered, solely as mental objects. This phenomenon of the mental becomes even more apparent when we consider the nature of not only being, but identity, character, and personal story. None of these, from what I can tell, can rightly be said to exist outside the mind. Each has arbitrary, situation-specific, and continually shifting boundaries and connotations.
Arrangements, in contrast, are sets of objects; entities; their relative positions; their internal configurations; and their relations and interactions. Arrangements are hence the frameworks in place either materially or logically between and within entities and or objects. Common examples include law, culture, contract, education, and social hierarchy -- but also the physical placement of people and things.
Not surprisingly, the arrangements in place have substantial influence on the outcomes for individuals and society. The same person lowered into two different cultures and circumstances can be expected to have a different time. Education, ideas, values, struggles, and relationships may all be completely changed. The combinations of butterfly effect, disparity of opportunity, and idiosyncratic accident leave open the door for a wide variety of possibility.

Splitting and blaming the entity

Before talking about what to blame, or how to blame it, we might consider some phenomena which may influence one's ability to make sound judgement. As discussed previously, early development can play a big part in both the way one perceives and understands the world, and also the way one feels about, and hence reacts to, situations and challenges within the world. So let us look at some such phenomena.
Splitting, in the post-infancy sense, is the viewing of mental objects -- including and especially people -- as either idealised all good, or devalued all bad. The primary hypothesis goes something along the lines that a child who felt insufficiently loved or attended during infancy and early childhood may develop an internalised sense of unworthiness -- perhaps shame or guilt. In simple terms, the child may internalise a judgement of "not good enough". Since early, particularly pre-linguistic experiences tend to be deeply-seated and hard-conditioned, the person later in life may not only have little if any recall of such experience, but likely has little ability to reflect or challenge the resulting feelings or cognitive distortions. Basically, the only remnant clearly visible may be the feelings and intuitions themselves -- sense of shame, guilt, and never being good enough. However, as with other inescapable negative feelings, the child or later person is prone to forming habits of escape. Most notably here, the person may partake in defence mechanisms, or unconscious patterns of perception and thinking that seek to turn off or escape uncomfortable or stressful cognitions.
Projection is among the most used defence mechanisms. It involves taking an unwanted feeling or judgement, and throwing it upon someone or something else. The idea is to distance oneself from such negative connotations. In the case of internalised shame or guilt of being "not good enough" during childhood, the person is likely to begin casting this judgement upon others. Unreasonable or unattainable standards may be adopted. The world itself may be viewed as inherently broken or untenable. In the case of splitting specifically, black-or-white, all-or-none thinking may be employed to polarise objects or people -- including oneself -- into all good or all bad -- idealisation or devaluation. This type of projection sorts others into something of angels and demons. Furthermore, as in borderline personality disorder, these dichotic judgements may switch regularly depending on current affairs. The key thing to remember here is that projection is done to escape unfaceable feelings or judgements about oneself. Use of this defence mechanism may shift blame from self to another, often in a way that is difficult or impossible for the user to see.
More broadly, splitting belongs to a class of phenomena known as cognitive distortions. In addition to all-or-none thinking, cognitive distortions include overgeneralising, disqualifying the positive, jumping to conclusions, exaggeration, perfectionism, personalisation, always being right, and labelling of others. Obviously these all have significant implications for how one judges others, and indeed how one places blame. For the discussion here, let us talk about one more of these.
Personalisation is when a person takes the blame personally, regardless what external factors may be at play. This style of attribution is inherently self-deprecatory. Alternatively, blame may be placed entirely on another person or group. The distortion here is not that blame is occurring, but that the object is always a conventional moral agent, such as a human or AI. Essentially, an individual with this style of attribution may have an irrational tendency to place blame on agents, rather than circumstances. The trick is understanding why this happens.
As it turns out, the psychology behind placing blame disproportionately on people and other agents, rather than arrangements, is driven by the instinct of social hierarchy. Like brought up earlier, people have a tendency to compare and compete, judging one another into hierarchies of better and worse -- more or less worthy. The more insecure a person feels, or the more internalised shame or sense of inadequacy one has, the more the person may be compelled to cast blame on others. Put simply, insecurity activates the instinct of social hierarchy.
There are some noteworthy side effects to the habit of blaming the agent. One is scapegoating, or the projection of a group's fears and insecurities onto an external object. In scapegoating, the object chosen is often little, if at all, related to the underlying problem or dysfunction. Rather, the group seeks to unload its insecurity onto an unlucky target. This behaviour is much like that done in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). One might say that groups too, not just people, can have NPD. One common target of scapegoating is minorities, of pretty much any type, who are often blamed for internal inadequacies of the majority regime. Another side effect of blaming the agent is kicking the dog, or chain reactions of blame shifting where each rung of the social hierarchy blames the next rung, all the way to the dog. Similar to scapegoating, kicking the dog picks a target generally unable to defend itself. This style of attribution, moreover, is contagious within organisations, hindering legitimate consideration of how the true underlying issues can best be resolved.

False object of blame

A curious distortion of interest is blindly taking the mental as fact. In the extreme, there is a phenomenon known as psychic equivalence. This is common in children, where the imagined monster under the bed is believed surely to exist. The line between mental and external is still thin. While most older individuals are beyond such explicit equivalence, we nevertheless have no other option for understanding reality than what our mind beholds. Whether for positive or negative, when we see or imagine someone, we are never seeing the real person. What we witness is our mental model, or mental object, of the other. The same goes for their view of us. When they behold us, they are really beholding someone else -- a construct of their imagination. Likewise, when we judge or blame another, we are really blaming someone else -- a monster of our own creation. Sometimes it can help to remember that in our mental, we are all mental.

Another defence mechanism

Aside from cognitive distortions, another key issue stands in the way of finding truth. In order to resolve deeply-seated emotional baggage, that baggage has to be opened. Yet doing so can be both painful and confusing. The mind has another trick up its sleeve to avoid facing the rain -- intellectualisation. Many have heard of rationalisation, or the making up of good-sounding stories to explain otherwise irrational or emotion-based actions and choices. Intellectualisation is related, but distinct. Instead of making up stories to seem more rational, intellectualisation makes up complex frameworks and red herrings to distract oneself and others from getting too close to the underlying feeling. Just like for splitting, the usual root cause is believed to be insecure attachment during infancy and early childhood. The result, especially later in life, is the excessive overreliance on logic and complex frameworks to avoid looking inside toward emotion. Reason becomes a comfortable hideout from hideous feeling. This disposition prevents proper reflection, making it hard or impossible to stop idealising and devaluing others. After all, one cannot stop spilling pain until one finds the source of that pain.

Relation to free will

The notion of free will comes in many definitions. These can get technical. But one fairly common theme is what they seek to support -- often some type of personal, or entity-centric, responsibility or blame. Regardless whether logically sound, the pursuit is in many cases a rationalisation of the instinctual and emotional urges of social hierarchy and ego defence. Essentially, many debates about free will are really struggles, or disagreements, on the nature of blame, and to where it should aim. In general, the belief in free will -- regardless the definition chosen -- is argued in support of some type of entity attribution. Likewise, the disbelief in free will is usually argued in support of system attribution, or blaming the way society or culture is structured. A person may choose a definition specifically to assert the desired end -- a psychological phenomenon called motivated reasoning. This text will avoid choosing a definition, as the underlying principles of behaviour are more important.
A less known paradox exists within the bounds of psychological agency. As is regularly discussed in certain circles of spirituality, there exists a spectrum of self-boundary between immediate, local, relative and timeless, non-local, absolute. This mental state of contraction or expansion depends in part on the grasping or release of fear and attachment. For those unfamiliar, the felt sense of personal agency -- sometimes called doership -- and one's associated beliefs about personal causation, are prone to change, or shift, depending on the present level of anxiety -- especially social and existential anxiety. There are two key aspects related to the sense of being in control.
The first aspect of interest is that of causal scope, or how far we trace the causes and influences behind any given event or decision. For example, as I type this, among the most immediate, or smallest causal scopes, is that of my finger pressing a key. Moving toward greater scope, we may consider that the arm is moving the finger. Further, of course, one might say the body is doing the typing. But the scope need not end there. We can trace back through the causal chains, finding all manner of influence. After all, why do I care about this? What social factors and life experiences influenced this cause? The more immediate the causal scope, the longer and more encumbered the causal chains. Hence, even though when afraid we may focus on the more immediate, hence feeling more in direct control, the more our felt boundaries of self and causality contract, the more short-sighted, distracted, and materially-bound we are. The paradox is in the inverted pyramid of influence atop our actions.
The second aspect relates to impulse and desire versus self-control and composure. Human desire may be divided broadly into basic animal instinct and social image. In Freudian terms, these would be id and ego. The former is often viewed as impulsive or animalistic; the latter as controlled and composed. A meaningful portion of pro-free will arguments seems to equate or compare the composure and planning of socially-conscious actions and choices as representative of the essence of "free will". That is, more "controlled" or deliberate actions were exercising greater free will than their more impulsive or animalistic counterparts. But is this assessment sensible?
On the one hand, being more socially aware likely helps to prevent being manipulated or impeded by others. Most would probably agree thus far. But on the other hand, the more we care about fitting in, or otherwise playing the game of social hierarchy, the more we submit ourselves to social norms and other hive behaviours. Essentially, the more we care about image, the more we let society control us. Despite this emotional tether, those with the biggest egos often proclaim the greatest sense of self-determination. Certainly one could argue that being on top of the hierarchy usually entails greater access to social amenities, some of which offering greater freedom. But there may be some right reservations here. Firstly, the enhanced freedom of high status often comes with enhanced fitment and scrutiny into the externally-defined social mould. This is not always the case, as for example with dictators. But secondly, the vast majority of those playing the ego game are neither in positions of status and power, nor emotionally secure enough to go their own way toward personal happiness. Perhaps most prominently, for most social animals, the hive provides only minimal amenity, and maximal loss of autonomy. Yet the internalised ego and self-concept obscure this reality by making cultural, emotional artifacts of socialisation -- especially during childhood -- appear as self-chosen. The person is thus a product of upbringing, but because these aspects of conditioning are so deep and unconscious, their effects are simply taken for granted as part of who one is. Hence, a second paradox exists in that what may appear as evidence for free will -- ego and composure -- is in fact the very thing enacting the long-seated will of the hive.
On a different note of the free will debate, there seems to be a phenomenon somewhat like "free will of the gaps", where any unknown of psychology or physics is received wholeheartedly as evidence for freedom. While no doubt one may never really know, particularly when stuck in the subjective mind-box, one might consider the effect of splitting, or black-and-white thinking. This habit may, without enough reflection, colour one's assessment of personal agency as either wholly existing, or wholly absent. This is not to say undue burden and other explicit interference is unregarded, but more that even the mere existence of randomness or unpredictability may be taken as sufficient reason to ward off the behavioural influences and effects known by modern psychology. Remember that splitting is driven by egoic insecurity, and that ego has vested interest in building the narrative which best places oneself in the social hierarchy of the mind. Impulsive or controlled, what we choose is there to satisfy instinct, whether animalistic, or socially-focused.

Blaming the arrangement

On the other side of inferred causation -- after instinct -- we have experience, conditioning, and circumstance. Experience and conditioning are carry-overs from past arrangement while circumstance reflects the present arrangement. For simplicity, I will place all three simply under arrangement. To borrow from earlier:

Arrangements ... are sets of objects; entities; their relative positions; their internal configurations; and their relations and interactions. Arrangements are hence the frameworks in place either materially or logically between and within entities and or objects. Common examples include law, culture, contract, education, and social hierarchy -- but also the physical placement of people and things.

With this definition in mind, what then does it mean to blame the arrangement, and what benefit does so doing provide?
First, let us consider the standard Western approach. When we blame the entity, we are accomplishing three fundamental ends:

1. declaring a point of causal significance;
2. downgrading social status;
3. offloading correction;

On the first point, blaming the entity cuts off past influences, including deficiencies and inequalities in access to essential resources like health, respect, education, and experience. One might wonder why respect is included here. But remember the types of issue that arise from internalised shame, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy. These live on subconsciously, causing non-obvious impairments in judgement and performance. Plus they harm health and performance through elevated stress hormones.
On the second point, blaming the entity lowers its public appraisal, thus cutting off access to the types of resources just mentioned.
On the third point, blaming the entity places the burden of correction squarely on the already broken component. For simple matters like enforcing social norms or decency, this type of blame is probably effective in most cases. But when we start looking at bigger matters, like health, education, intelligence, self-restraint, and general performance, the idea of forcing the suboptimal party to fix itself starts to break down. All these matters are heavily influenced by external circumstance through time. So telling the person to fix the resulting dysfunction is like telling them to rewrite their past environment, including their upbringing. Moreover, those from broken pasts are much more often the least supplied -- in both resource and knowhow -- to make things better.
And this brings us to blaming the arrangement. If instead of burdening and downgrading the unfortunate entity, we recognise the conditions of success and failure, we can apply legitimate effort toward enacting a better future. Obviously society as a whole is far better equipped to improve not only the outcome of tomorrow, but the conditions of today. Some of us, by chance, receive the winning hand. This may be in genetics, family configuration, area of schooling, or maybe just missing detrimental accidents and injuries. What sense does it make to hoard the helpings of fate, thus preventing the wealth of shared development and growth? In a world literally brimming with technological advancement, is it really better for the majority to live polarised as minority winners and majority losers?

Arguments

One might argue that blame and praise are natural and effective tools for motivation and modification of behaviour. Natural though they may be, these tools are premised on the limited knowledge and resources of tribal past. Like using a hammer to insert a screw, messy tools ought to be reserved for desperate times only. Modern medicine, psychology, and sociology offer a new toolbox, today readily available, for resolving problems with minimal collateral damage. True, not everyone has fair access to these modern amenities, and that is exactly why we need to stop blaming the victim. The technology is here. We simply need to open the gates.
Another common argument is that absent of pointing fingers, people would lose motivation, or stop caring. There may be some truth here. If we remove the whip from their backs, the slaves may begin to relax. But is that really a bad thing? Per-capita material output is already worlds higher due to automation and tooling. But artificial scarcity is brought in to "keep up the morale". This scarcity is largely in the form of wealth and income inequality, which ensure the true producers of wealth -- the workers -- are kept chasing their imagined carrot. The effect, in practice, is burnout and learned helplessness. The secondary effect is thus decreased performance, which is then "solved" with ever greater artificial scarcity, perpetuating the cycle of lies and suffering. Instead of entertaining a system of slavery with extra steps, why not more equally distribute the tools and technology of efficiency and success?
A darker argument that occasionally gets said out loud is that excessive competition and suffering help to weed out the less desirable traits. Often, it is proclaimed, nature wanted it that way. Ignoring the obvious lack of compassion, is this argument sound? The simple answer is no. The longer answer is not even a little. There are two main reasons. Firstly, the dirty game of filtering by social hierarchy was not only sloppy for its original environment of small tribes, but is completely unfit for modern, complex, abstract society. As explained previously, the legitimacy of individual merit is no longer known by fellow tribespeople. Wealth generation and extraction are too far removed and abstracted for proper outside judgement. And complex systems of power and propaganda further prevent equitable distribution of the fruits of labour. Secondly, the amount of time needed for such mechanisms of trait filtering to make an appreciable difference are substantially longer than the time from now before technology will allow superior selection of traits. There will be no need to compete in the sloppy ways of the past; nor any need to compete at all. The problem of selection is soon resolved. AI is entering the exponential phase. Petty and primitive worry about traits is irrelevant, for multiple reasons. If anything, those unable to understand this are unfit to be making policy decisions.
An argument which comes up enough to mention is that without blaming the entity, criminals would have free reign, able to do whatever they wanted without repercussions. This argument is missing something quite substantial about what is entailed by blaming the arrangement. Simply, if a certain person is believed to lack the self-control for certain situations or positions, that person will be kept away from those circumstances. A common example is driver's licensing, where one must earn the privilege by proving competence. And similarly to that, if someone is blatantly acting out and causing trouble, obviously they would be put somewhere safer. The key is rearranging circumstances as needed for best outcome while maintaining reasonable maximum personal autonomy -- without unnecessary harm, restraint, or loss of dignity. Yes, this is more involved in terms of resources and labour, but that is what technology is for. Naturally people prefer to have more privilege, and that alone is motivation enough to care.
And before someone accuses this approach of being or supporting a social credit system, we must make clear the difference. In social credit systems, blame is placed on the individual ! Sure, the factors used may involve family and acquaintance, but the burden of correction still goes to the person or small group. This is completely different from what is being proposed here.
A final argument relates to expense. On the surface -- especially from within the perspective of a system based on artificial scarcity and excessive wealth inequality -- the idea of having surplus means available for long-term planning may seem unfathomable. People's reluctance in this regard can be understood. But as mentioned above, we are presently, for presumably the first time in our recorded history, entering the age of exponential growth toward advanced artificial intelligence. Things are moving fast already, and both hardware and software are showing no slowing. If computational capacity continues to double regularly like it has for a long time now, we are probably looking at readily accessible post-human intelligence within five to ten years. Short of disaster or tyrannical interference, existing worries about labour and intellect shortage should soon evaporate. Yes, this time things are different. There is no known precedent.

Summary

Our natural instinct may tell us to blame the person. And Western culture may polarise this tendency to the extreme. But with a little understanding of why we feel the need to downsize others, we may be able to mend the splitting within us. Society may be designed around a game of hierarchy, but one need not partake. By knowing the factors that promote or inhibit wellbeing, and by using the knowledge and tools of modern, we can cast off the shallow assumptions behind us, to build something worth keeping. The first step is looking inside, to see the feeling that fears connection. Then we may look outside, to see that most are facing similar struggle. Situations are what make or break the person. If one should blame, blame the arrangement. The past may not be one for changing, but greater compassion today can find greater love tomorrow.

TLDR: CT says our sex isn't a problem. I'm not sure LLF was transparent in individual session. Looking for feedback because I'm going crazy over here. Need a reality check either way.

LLF 41 and I (HLM/LL4U? 42) have seen our AASECT couples therapist about 4 or 5 times now. Only 1 or 2 sessions post-intake. We did one in-take session together and then each had an individual in-take session. We haven't talked in detail about what came up in our individual in-takes yet; I plan to bring it up this weekend.
LLF was sick this week so I went for a solo session. CT (and others here in HLC) has stated previously that we do not have a sex problem, we have a relationship problem.
In solo session I said "ok, I 1,000% agree we have a relationship problem. But I'm concerned we're going to do all this work and even be in a much better 'relationship place' in say a year from now and still be looking at an underlying sexual problem." In not so many words: is it possible it's both?
CT says "no, the sexual problems are a symptom. If that were to happen, then we'd so 'ok, you're both in a better place and there's still a sexual gap. Let's look at ways to address that.' But we're not there yet. We have to do this other work first."
I don't know. It felt pretty deflating. Because I absolutely agree we need to do the relationship work and I also know LLF has sex issues that were present long before she met me. So how the actual fuck are those now transformed into relationship issues? Does it make sense why I'm confused, or am I just way off base here?
The CT's response put me in a funk. I know LLF doesn't think there's much of a sexual problem, and so I want to bring the list below into the discussion at our next session. Taken in totality, I look at this list below and think "isn't the majority of this due to some sort of sexual aversion on LLF's part? If not, how is all of this pinned on the relationship?"
I'm on mobile so excuse the crap formatting.
I have a spouse who:
Did not want me to look at her body on our wedding night
Was hot and heavy with the petting and making out when we were dating but that did not translate to hot and heavy sex once we were married (we were products of purity culture and indoctrinated to wait until marriage. Total bullshit.)
In first few years of marriage, consistently rebuffed my advances. To the point I stopped trying. Often we would be on the couch watching TV. When discussing this recently, she said "sex is important but TV is also important."
In our first several years of marriage told me that many sexual positions I wanted to try were demeaning (e.g. doggy style)
Tells me she does not have sexual fantasies
Tells me she's satisfied with everything that's happening in the bedroom and rarely if ever has suggestions for new things to do in the bedroom
Until the last two years had only masturbated once or twice
Does not think about sex until it's been about two weeks since last time
Would consistently say "let's have sex tonight (or tomorrow or whenever)" and then completely forget about it
Would say "please don't make eye contact with me when I'm performing fellatio"
Views sex as a checklist or functional activity (her words)
When we scheduled sex dates on the calendar, would not allow for make up opportunities if a date was missed because "it's not Tuesday." And forget about having sex two days in a row.
Has no desire to cuddle after sex
Does not enjoy receiving oral sex
Did not buy a vibrator until I suggested it
Says she is game for just about anything but does not have suggestions for what that might entail.
Does not understand why it is frustrating for me to platonically watch a show with sex scene if it's been a while since we had sex
Will go weeks without talking about sex and then upon finding out I don't want sex b/c I just masturbated will tell me "save some of that for me next time."
Instinctively pulls away from my hand whenever I reach for her body during foreplay, especially breasts, vulva, or butt. This happens regardless of who initiates.
Takes all of the above into consideration (or perhaps doesn't?) and says "I'm sex positive!"
HLC, please give me guidance. Slap me upside the head if that's what I need. Because I'm losing my mind over here.

So first theres Ploymus Mountain where you have to get shock arrows from the Lynel. Since 2017, until literally today when I heard someone say it in an Age of Calamity cutscene, I thought it was Polymus Mountain
Second is Buliara, Rijus bodyguard, which I always read as Bularia.
And then theres Calyban, the Gerudo who throws her melon rinds into the waterway. I read it as Clayban for 5 years. Idk, maybe it's just harder to read things on a TV

Information taken from https://tattle.life/wiki/lucy_letby_case_2/
Accused method of injury: air embolus
GA at birth 30 weeks, from what I can tell
Unit is noted to be busy with other twins and CPAPing babies
They attempted to place UVC x 2, with malposition (it doesn't mention what, but usually it means that it is in the liver or splenic vein) They left the 2nd UVC attempt in place, but they did not mention that it was pulled to low-lying.

• As background, you can place a UVC as normal or low-lying. Normal position is with the tip of the catheter above the diaphragm and is the preferred position for UVC. Low lying UVCs can be used in emergency situations, or if no other access can be obtained. Their correct position is just barely inserted into the umbilical cord, just until you get blood back, and then you need to get xrays to ensure it has not entered the liver. Any UVC in the liver needs to be immediately removed. It is never acceptable to ever infuse into the liver. (tldr: it needs to be above or below the liver, but never in the liver)

With the unsuccessful UVC, they placed a "long line" aka PICC.

• This is an IV that is inserted in the skin like normal, but instead of a short plastic piece that remains in the body, it's a long piece and is fed through the veins to sit outside the heart

It appears that maybe the baby was without fluids for ~4 hours, because of issues with the lines.

• There's a line of questioning about the fact that the child was urinating was "proof" that they didn't need fluids, but that's not true, as babies are born with extra water on board and need to pee that off, but they still need to be given fluids in the meanwhile - I'm not sure it is significant at all, but just to note the logic in the discussion was off

His clinical notes, written in retrospect at 9.30pm, record for 5pm: "UVC in situ on my arrival on NICU at 5pm. No definitive access at this point, so I've left in situ with plan to remove if long line sited or pull back to low position is long line not successful."

This is from the doctor who placed the lines, so he intentionally left a line, in the liver.

• This is not acceptable practice. If you need to leave the line for emergency access, you pull it back to low-lying immediately, you do not leave it in the liver, because there is a risk it could be used accidentally. If you administer fluids into the liver it can cause damage to the liver itself or cause bleeding/clots or other issues. I will emphasize again, it's never ok to leave a UVC in the liver. Pull it to low lying or remove it entirely, do not leave it in a dangerous position.

The PICC was pulled afteduring the "collapse"

He said: "That was my immediate thought. In hindsight...there was no possible link [between its insertion and the collapse]."

• Pulling the PICC was probably the right call. It is not true that there is no possible link, there's lots of possible links, but we don't have anything definitive.

From the descriptions, it sounds like baby desaturated first, then had bradycardia

• This is the normal way it happens in a NICU. Sats drop, then the HR. Almost all codes in NICU are respiratory based

They did chest compressions and epinephrine during the code. They don't mention how they administered the epi, since they had pulled the PICC and the UVC was in an incorrect position

• One suspicious thing is that the baby continued to decompensate after intubation. Often, that is a sign that the intubation was not done correctly and the breathing tube is in the esophagus, not the trachea.

They say the PICC was deep and needed pulled back

• This is significant because if a PICC is too deep and enters the heart, it can "tickle" the SA node, which is what controls heart rhythm. I have quite literally induced arrhythmias before accidentally by PICC/UVC. If you start getting a weird rhythm, you just immediately pull the line back. And if you have inserted a line and there's a weird rhythm and it's deep, it could absolutely be that. It would not show any "damage" or anything else on post mortems.

From the autopsy:

He comments "unusual findings" in gas and air found in the baby boy, including "a line of gas just in front of the spine".

They have not mentioned whether the PICC was in an upper extremity or lower. This could be important. A line of gas by the spine would be concerning for air in the line, though the first assumption would be that it was from insertion of the line.
This air was only seen post mortem though, which is more suspicious, just because a lot of stuff is done post mortem and the body starts to produce gas fairly quickly. Xrays from immediately after the code started showed no signs of air in unusual places.

• IMO, if there was an air embolism, it would have shown up then, not just post mortem.

Dr. Evans concluded that it was an embolism mainly because he couldn't find another clear cause of death

• BTW, this is not how emboli are diagnosed. Lots of NICU babies who die don't have "clear" causes of death beyond prematurity.

I can't say why Baby A died, IMO - I do not think it is a slam dunk that it was an intentional death. I see lots of different opportunities for little things to have gone wrong/contributed to the massive collapse.
I will also say, that while they are saying that LL was actively injecting air into the baby, there were other people nearby, which seems unusual to me, especially considering this is supposed to be her first "attack". Several of the cases make it pretty ballsy that she was basically attempting to murder babies while other people were watching.
As I have said before, I feel like they have tried to find anything they could conceivably try and pin on her, in order to make the insulin charges stick, because they do not have enough evidence for those, because of medical mismanagement by the doctors.
Of course, anyone is free to agree/disagree with my interpretation of events. :)
Overall, I don't think either side did a great job. Myer's is trying to open doubt wherever he can, but I feel like he doesn't have enough medical knowledge/guidance and is doing it too scattershot and not as logically as he could.
I have a lot of reservations about Dr. Evans, who is incredibly confident of his ideas and continually states there's no other possible explanations, even when there are. Plus he's not a neonatal expert. Just because he set up NICUs in the 70s and 80s does not mean he's a neo expert. He apparently solicited the police to look into these deaths, so I just have a lot of reservations about his "independent" status.
If you think I've missed something important, or have a disagreement, please bring it up!

Heritage is one of my favorite albums of all time. The first few times I heard it I have to admit, I was underwhelmed. When compared to everything Opeth released before (and even since tbh), it stands out as the most unusual. However, the more listens I have given to the record the more it's resonated with me and I am happily willing to admit it's my second favorite Opeth record behind Still Life at this point. The piano intro is beautifully haunting and everything that comes after is just so inspired, soulful and technically incredible. Mikael has some of his most passionate, and powerful vocal melodies, the drumming is godly, and the calm and atmospheric are among some of the best not only in the Opeth discography but in all of contemporary progressive rock. I have seen Heritage get way too much hate over the years and on this subreddit. It's fucking beautiful, and I'm convinced that if a prog rock band without any type of death metal background had released it, it would be considered one of the finest progressive records ever. It has a level of jazziness and quirkiness that the band is yet to recreate and I just absolutely adore it, and cannot imagine how anyone who is a fan of the prog rock genre could ever dislike it. Tell me your thoughts on the record, and if you dislike it, tell me WHY, I'd love to know your objective reasons since it's one of my all time favorites.

Hello Reddit. I was going to make a bubbly happy post here, but I think I owe it to myself to just be honest. I've been experiencing a lot of changes in my life and to be honest with you, I'm struggling to keep up. I'm at work right now writing this and I honestly feel like just going home and laying in bed all day, but I can't. I have friends who I love and care for but for some reason I can't seem to open up to them.
It's why I'm here making this post now, looking for a person who could understand me. Someone who won't only listen to me and understand me, but someone I can also be there for and care for as much as I'm (struggling to) care for myself.
If you're the one, we could go around and have dinner, or just explore the metro and see places neither of us have been before. We could call at night and talk about how our day has been and share some laughs and stories. We could take cute pictures together and experience things together for the first time.
Just a disclaimer, already putting this out here before anything: I'm not looking for short-term flings. If it's you, I hope to share my days with you til the end.
A bit about me: - working professional at my first job - from around QC and from one of the big 4 - kakampink - loves movies, music, tv shows, video games, photography, food, cooking, writing, reading, and traveling - introverted but kaladkarin and willing to get out of my comfort zone (also clingy and talkative once comfy) - has my own place but unfortunately can't host (strict condo) - physical: 5'0 smol, wears glasses, not slim but also not chubby (curvy i guess?)
About you (not requirements but preferred): - around my age - around QC or at least in the metro - has any similar interests - is also looking for something serious and long term - also likes to go out on spontaneous dates when possible - preferably also a working professional - preferrably taller than me but i don't have specific preferences for physical looks, but i guess bonuses: glasses, normal bmi, clean look - just please be nice and easy to get along with
If you've read this far, I really appreciate you. Hope to see you soon!

How rad is it that this man had the most legendary wbc ever, striking out trout on one of the nastiest pitches I’ve ever seen, right as we retire this game that he’s been on the load screen every day we’ve logged in. Unbelievable.
Also props to trea and Randy.

It's not just me, he refers to attractive women like food. It's only generally woman he's attracted to, on TV online in conversations. He refers to them by food. Like if they're black, we're chocolate. Latinas are always mocha. He calls Asian women kimchi. White women creamy milk. I told him I really don't like it when he does that. I feel like it's diminutive and objectifying. I told him to stop but he acts like I'm overreacting and it's just how he compliments people.
It started a fight with another woman that he casually called "hot chocolate" and as I told him, many people just don't like that, she turned around and agreed and threw her drink at him when he kept pressing it, and he was asked to leave. I stayed because I was going to enjoy my night, and according to him everyone else was overreacting and he was not wrong at all here. I was wrong for not defending him. I told him, I'm not defending you over something I told you I hate hearing. I feel like it's dehumanizing and I am not dealing with it.
Ever since that incident, every time he does it regardless of who it's directed at I just get up and leave. I feel like I've come to the realization this is a deal breaker for me, and he thinks I'm making a huge deal about nothing. But he doesn't plan on ever changing that or trying to prioritize my comfort, he thinks I need to get over it because it's nothing. I'm about to walk away over this it's so frustrating to be demeaned as a food and then further ignored and belittled. I honestly feel like he doesn't see me as an equal or even a person just am object, a little treat. And it disgusted me to realize that.

Could someone please tell me that if I were to stream my Xbox console to my Odin pro to stream and play games remotely, would the Odin be able to be used as the handheld controller rather than the Xbox one controller.
Every video I’ve seen has demonstrated what I would like EXCEPT that they’re using the Xbox one controller to play remotely through the phone.
And obviously I wouldn’t want to use an Xbox controller on the Odin as there is already a controller attached to the device itself! :))