Hi,
I posted this question/situation before but have updates and more context. Apologies if this is considered a duplicate and understood if it needs to be removed for that reason -- appreciate this community as a resource.
I'm not in the industry. I do, however, frequent many establishments. I live in Brooklyn and have been flirting with the idea of opening a cocktail bar for a while. During the day, I run a business that is totally unrelated, is doing well, and is much lower risk with virtually no overhead (leading many people, including my accountant, to ask why I want to get into the bar industry). This context may be helpful, so I'll just add quickly that I think cocktail bars often have one of two problems: 1) signature drinks that are gimmicky, too sweet, and with ingredients people never heard of and/or 2) price points that are bordering unreasonably expensive. If the right opportunity came along where a small space opened in my neighborhood, I figured I'd have a try at opening a neighborhood spot that is priced reasonably, and that cares about quality spirits and classic cocktails.
Well, a space became available. I called and made my pitch and they were interested. Fast forward through some boring details, I needed someone on board who had industry experience, so I connected with a good friend of mine's brother-in-law. We'd met once or twice and he already co-owns a bar in a different neighborhood of Brooklyn. Initially, I just wanted to buy him a beer and pick his brain -- but we ended up discussing partnering up.
Here is where I need advice: the operating agreement. For what it's worth, the OA between my partner and I is already signed, but the lease is still working out some kinks between our lawyers and the landlord's lawyers. In other words, I can still walk away.
What we worked out is that basically all of the upfront money and risk comes from me. We just had our community board meeting and it went well, so that makes me feel more confident we'll get our liquor license (the lease doesn't have a liquor license contingency -- so if for whatever reason we didn't get it and couldn't open, I'd be looking at ~$250K in losses from penalties to the landlord + build out costs). But still -- there's always risk.
The agreement is that once we are open and profitable I get paid back at a 90/10 split until I recoup my upfront costs. After that moment, it shifts to a 70/30 split in my partner's favor. This is what I am here to get opinions about.
He will not be taking a salary. And he is the operational partnemanager and the one with the expertise. How he will split his time between this bar, the other he co-owns, and a restaurant I know he's involved to some capacity out of state...I am actually not sure. But the justification for the split is that he knows what it takes on the day-to-day to run the bar, and that I can be as involved or not involved as I wish.
Maybe this is perfectly fair. But so far, I've been talking to lawyers just as much as him. I had the vision and found the space. I'm working with my girlfriend's family to build out the space. And ultimately, I am the one putting up all of the upfront money and risk, and basically presenting my partner with a risk-free opportunity. In our community board meeting, you can tell the fact that I lived here and had support from locals was an influence on their decision to approve.
My feeling over time has become that after I am paid back, it should become a closer to an equal profit split (FWIW we are 50/50 partners in the business). I don't need to get paid back at a 90/10 clip on my initial investment -- could make it more like 80/20 or whatever, and then once I am whole just resolve at a 50/50 or even 60/40 in his favor.
So before I signed the OA a few weeks ago, I did bring up that 70/30 in his favor felt a bit steep. This was his response:
"70/30 is what I think is fair. Once this initial process of lease and liquor license is done the entire operation falls on my shoulders. I know the extent of what my week will look like operating the space on a daily basis and it’s reflected in the breakdown. The industry standard for investor breakdowns flips to 90/10. But with just me and you alone on this scale I am happy to do the 70/30 so we both make money. I have no intention of hiring a GM. It’s not necessary and by me taking on all the ordering, payroll, hiring, menu changes myself we will cut 100K off the overhead and we both make some money."
This was in the midst of everything getting off the ground and I basically just conceded to keep things moving. I am afraid bringing this up again may just make him throw up his hands and back out; and honestly, given that I already signed it, I can see how it would be lame of me to do so. And I believe it's in the OA that once a year we can review these breakdowns and re-evaluate and adjust if both partners agree.
Sorry if this is long-winded. Guess I'm just trying to take the temperature if 1) at 30% this is worth the risk/investment etc on my end and 2) if I maybe should bring it up (and if so, how).
Thank in advance,

First of all, I dont know how it is in the US, maybe you guys are right and when it comes to the dosage of tabs in your particular part of the world. I cant recall that at all. I'm a very experienced Psychonaut, using all kinds of psychedelic tools for 13 years on a more or less regular basis.
My european experience is that if you pay for 250ug tabs, you receive 250ug tabs in 80%-90% of all deals.
I dont know if its because the 3 main labs are found in the Netherlands or what, but I had enormous visuals like plants growing out of blank soil like fucking Jack and the Beanstalk from 1,5 tabs a hundred times!
I dont like that you answer almost all newbie questions with "nah, these days you are only getting like 40ug per tab". Its maybe true for the US Market, but not necessarily for the rest of the world.
Stay safe and dont mirror your personal experiences to an international sub on reddit.

My father was extremely abusive towards my mum. He suffered from a extremely bad case of undiagnosed bipolar disorder, he refused to take medication or seek a diagnosis. He drank and he screamed. He punched walls, destroyed the home and the family he and mother created. He psychically hurt my mother and her family, family holidays were ruined due to his violent and abusive outbursts. When my parents divorced when I was 11 he would text my mother every night for years and tell her how he was going to kill himself because of her. He would post publicly online about how much he hated her, causing her to witch-hunted by those who admired him. He committed suicide when I was 14, a few days after my birthday. I felt nothing but resentment. Due to how he acted during his childhood, his emotional neglect and his inability to stay in our home for over a month at a time. I’ve been diagnosed with post traumatic disorder and am in the process of getting a borderline personality disorder diagnosis. I have pushed everyone I love away from me, the friends I used to have view me as a pathetic man. I attempted suicide and all I could see in my mothers eyes was the looks she would give my father, and I look in the mirror and cry for I look just like him. When I mention my suicidal ideation to my mother I can tell she’s trying not to cry as I serve as a reminder of him. I sound and act like him, I sit alone in my room and just stare into space. I’m just like him and I hate it, I want to be able to talk to those I love and act rationally. However, no matter how hard I try I run away I leave them all angry and upset at me. He was a horrid man, I know that. I hate that I’m like him. I just wish I wasn’t so alone I’m to much for those around me to deal with, now they’ve left me. I’m all alone.

Context. My mother and father divorced 12 years ago. My mom cheated on my dad. Both of my parents have remarried and are “happy”. However I f(19) found out my mother has been cheating on her husband for years. My mother and step-father married 2 years ago and my step father has a very large positive impact on my life. One day 3 years ago a man appeared on our front porch while my step father was at work and my mom sat outside with him for hours. My sister and I already knew what was going on because this has happened with my mom is the past but swore to be a better person. Her affair continued and she was occasionally sneak out of the house to visit friends but her stories would always change. My sister and I brought this to our step father’s attention but they stayed together and decided to work through it. Fast forward 1 year. My mother has a knee replacement surgery and I get a facebook message request from the guy asking if he can see my mother in the hospital. I reply and apologize for the miscommunication she was no longer in the hospital and I POLICE ASKED HIM TO STAY OUR OF OUR LIVES. This didn’t work as my mom started being shady again and “going to church” every Sunday (we are not religious), taking secret phone calls, getting very angry when we touch her phone and so so much more. My step dad asked me to look out for anything because this has happen many times before and I know she is seeing him and talking to him again but I am scared to tell my step dad because I know they will split and I don’t want my life to change without him. I do not know what to do and I don’t want a failed marriage to be in my hands. Am I the asshole?

Hi everyone! My fiance and I are getting married in May of 2024. We're originally from Dallas, TX but currently live in CO. I've been planning our wedding and so far we have selected our venue, a beautiful outdoor nature center with plenty of indoor and outdoor space. They've been incredibly helpful and accommodating and it felt like our first big step towards our wedding day!
However! After that I've hit a complete dead end. I have no idea how to search for some vendors back in Dallas. Im still looking for photographers (likely can't afford a videographer on top), caterers, and decoration rentals. Unfortunately our venue does not provide decorations so everything is on us and I'm having the hardest time find something in Dallas. Would someone please recommend a reliable vendor where we could rent out all the table decorations, such as linen and center pieces? Preferably someone who can help set up too.
We have a caterer in mind who is a friend of the family but they unfortunately can't provide everything. We took this as an opportunity to offer something more comfortable and are considering hiring an elote cart who can also provide agua frescas and traditional paletas! Problem is.. how do I even start?! Googling only does so much and I just can't find a site or platform that provides this resource. Can someone help me with that? It's not like I can just walk up to my local elotero and ask...
Lastly, I understand photography can be one of the largest expenses and I completely understand paying for quality. The only issue is that it's a small wedding and our budget is too tight to afford anyone over $1000. While I'm sure I can find photographers in the area, I also don't want to offend anybody. How can I approach a photographer respectfully if I love their work but can't afford them? Are there alternatives? What can I expect with less than $1000?
I apologize if this all seems too common sense but I really need help. I've tried looking at websites like TheKnot, Zola and Wedding Wire but I'm just not finding what I need. It's hard enough planning a wedding a few states over when I barely have time to visit.. Any and all advice would be welcomed! If you're a vendor in Dallas, TX who can help me with photography, decoration rentals or catering please feel free to reach out to me!
Thank you everyone! God bless

I am recently divorced from my wife. We were married for six years, and I have only dated a couple of woman before I met her. I am 33 years old and I am wondering how people go about dating nowadays. I have tried online dating but it’s the worst. Where is the best place to go to socialize and meet people? I am moving to Japan in six months or so I just want casual dating but it seems everywhere I go online they are looking for long-term relationships. Thank you for your time and have a good day.

Busy Security Engineer here... not a newbie, but a bit rust with PenTesting. Full time husband, with normal obligations like work, kids, etc.
I am doing HTB Academy Penetration Tester path, that's not out of the question. Because I like it and I want to go beyond what Offsec may give me.
What would be the better approach? I do not want to rush the preparation but we are talking about almost 1k difference.

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its hard trying to bottle feed a baby deer, but his mother found him! after all. Lost fawn on our property in 90 degree hot sun finds shelter and then later the same day reunites with his mother.

I found that chat GPT can do this very quickly. Fyi

Our daughter has had a 7:30 bedtime for basically the last two years. Lately, she's been staying up late (on her own, after we put her to bed). She sings and talks and looks at her books for almost an hour after "bedtime".
Then she's up right around 6am every day.
Does she need a later bedtime? Anything we can do to encourage sleeping until 6:30 or 7am?
FYI she does still nap most days, about 90 minutes at daycare and sometimes closer to 3 hours at home.

I commented here months ago on a positivity thread and just want to start another one.
In the time since, my son and I have been living on our own in a cute little townhouse, not too far from my parents or his dad but far enough. He graduated fourth grade with straight As and a letter of commendation from the President. He likes to downplay it, said his principal nominated him and you just print the letter online regardless the whole family was very proud! We adopted the cutest dog in February who is me in furry form with her own trauma but she perfectly completes our little unit. My company gives us two mental health days a year so we are currently on a little vaca (still a six hour drive in TX) where we did touristy stuff all week and hit up the beach. Our dog did great and my son has been so helpful unasked on this trip.
I’ve still yet to broach the subject of divorce (honestly y’all, it’s for rich folk and I refuse to have my dad pay for this too) but honestly, I feel better than I have in ages. Can’t remember the last time I felt this content so please bromos, share what’s good in your life today or this week. Or share whatever, good or bad. I know there be support from this community no matter what ♥️

Hey guys, not new here , I've been here before. Have been practicing nofap on and off , more on :p
I have been addicted to this for more than a decade now I guess and I'd like to call it severe. I have been able to stay porn free for 90 days previously ,long back. Been using it recently, a lot , not everyday but whenever I do, it's atleast twice.
I've quit smoking cigarettes, using lifting weights as a replacement, really helped.
Have stopped going to the gym, have stopped any kind of physical exercise....eating junk atleast twice a week. Life is pretty messed up. Low paying job. Nothing to be happy about. No friends and kind off addicted to my phone as well.
Just want to give up porn forever....

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Elves may be coming but if you don't get Arwen to 5-stars, your elves won't have an Elf leader (Elrond) for quite awhile, assuming 5-stars are required for the event and that 5 characters are needed.
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CG, of course, has a solution for that at 1000 gems each with an expectation that a player would spend about 8000 gems to get Arwen to 5-stars. With luck it would be less but for some, it would be more since 1000 gems can land you only 12 Arwen shards per attempt. You need 130 to go from 4-stars to 5-stars.
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With 8k as a baseline, it would take a player ranked Gold 1 in arena (ranked 150 to 249) over 2 months to acquire enough gems to get Arwen to 5-stars, assuming (a) he has completed the Arwen event and has Arwen at 4-stars and (b) player isn't one of the lucky few that gets 12 Arwen shards per attempt.
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So my quick estimation, only free-to-pay players (ftp) who are ranked top 10 in arena can get Elrond in the first go-around. I suspect the total number would be actually zero since they have only 25 days left to earn enough gems to get Arwen to 5-stars and that I don't believe there are any FTPs in the top 10.
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So the mad rush for Elves would probably be in Sept/Oct when the event comes around again -- assuming it does, this should give you enough time to acquire the gold needed to upgrade all your elves to 5-stars. At nearly 250k each, that's 1,249,500 in total. With gear, you might have to spend a combined total of 2.5 million or more. Assuming 90 days till next Elrond event, you will need to earn 28k gold per day (or alternatively save 28k per day and spend the rest).
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You will also need to stock up on gear pieces, especially the light crystals. Otherwise, you'll have saved up all this gold and nothing to spend it on.
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To make matters a little bit more complicated is the recently announced Elladan (https://www.reddit.com/HeroesOfMiddleEarth/comments/144esjg/exclusive_elladan_kit_reveal/). Currently, Elrohir retaliates whenever a character on the team with provoke or taunt is attacked. This retaliation is what makes Elrohir a good character. Elladan is the only elf that can enable this retaliation via his provoke. He makes Elrohir useful for Elves.
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Depending on how quickly and easily a player can get Elladan shards in time for the second go around, players might be upgrading heroes for Elrond that they will never use again. This is similar to how we play Marvel Strike Force as we had built up entire teams to 7-stars that we don't use other than in blitz and that one time during the legendary event.
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Including Arwen, there are 5 elves in the game so already, there will be at least one 5-star elf. For those who earned Elrond in the first pass, they would be dropping two 5-star elves as those two would be replaced by Elrond and most probably Elladan.
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So players might have an elf squad consisting of 5-star Arwen, 5-star Elrohir, 5-star Elladan, and two random 5-star left overs from the remaining bottom three to get Elrond. One of those random bottom dwellers will eventually be replaced with said Elrond in the long term.
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Or they might have 5-star Arwen, 5-star Elrohir, and three random 5-star blokes with 2 of those blokes to be replaced with Elrond and Elladan eventually.
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Or they might have 5-star Elrohir, 5-star Elladan, and three random 5-star blokes with 2 of those blokes to be replaced with Elrond and Arwen eventually.
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Or they might only have the current list of elves to use so that's Arwen and four random 5-star blokes.
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In this scenario, it would be best to hold up on upgrading the left overs and just farm their shards only until you would know if you can get both 5-star Elladan and 5-star Arwen in the second go around and figure out which left overs you like. Of the list of left overs, you will have to figure out which ones you like the most as some will be dropped eventually. This will help you decide on how much you want to gear up these "left overs" beyond gear level 3 if at all.
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You might recall that one of the quest objectives in the game is to reach 5 stars for 5 light characters. This won't give you any gold to upgrade the gear levels when you accomplish this. You'll just get more shards for Strider, a ranger.
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And in the future, to counter these Elves and their nimble, you might need a lot of "eagle eyes" on your team. This could make Halbarad even more valuable as he grants the "can't miss" eagle eye to team mates. Mírie is another. Both are rangers like Strider. Rangers already have a leader in Halbarad (and technically Strider too) but there's only 4 of them (one leader, 2 attackers, 1 support). Rangers don't have a character with a healer tag for instance so perhaps #5 would be a new healer for the game. Or CG can add another support that removes debuffs from the team.
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However, focusing on rangers (besides Halbarad and Strider) depends on how easily Elladan dies so eagle eyes might not be needed. As we know from Rohan's Eothain, tanks can die quickly when everyone is attacking the same target.
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For arena, you might consider a mix team of Elves and Rangers. If you were focusing on elves heavily, then your other characters such as Isengards and Rohans might have gone stale in three months time and you would have a selection of 5-star characters to choose from in Elves (5 of them) and Rangers (most likely Strider).
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For raids, I have no idea since it isn't open. In MSF, we have entire teams devoted to raids in order to do well. We can use other characters but they can get destroyed and thus a waste of time to upgrade those.
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I (38f) have been in a relationship with my fiance (27m) for 7 years, engaged 4 years. He was my brothers friend first and we met up at our job. He played video games all day and I listened to music and did yoga. He ate fast food only while I ate healthy. We both like anime and have a similar sense of humor. We moved in together after getting engaged. I was pregnant with our first child then. I found out after moving in together that he didn’t know how to do anything. His family cleaned and did hos laundry. He didn’t even know how to cook. So I had to teach him anything. Not the best or worse situation I figured he would man up once we had our son but that didn’t happen. He continues to play video games while I took care if the house and baby. I had a c-section too so that was horrible. I threatened to leave and he promised to do better. Then he did better but not by much. Hes lost his job different times from being late and calling in. 3 times in 1 month. I kept telling him I would leave if he lost his job again but I didn’t. Even though he lost his job again this year which makes his 5th time. Also from being late. He never takes responsibility for his actions. There’s always a reason why tgings arent his fault. He keeps saying he learned his lesson but…no. When we had our second child 8 months ago he went back to playing games all the time. He’s been doing a lot better adult wise but now he’s being more aggressive. Mostly to our son. There’s been 2 times he left bruises on him and recently he did it again. He told my mother that he saw our daughter hurt and he took his aggression out on our son. So I’m thinking about leaving him but I don’t know of I’m just being dramatic or not. If I leave, how do I go about doing it? I don’t know what to do. I just want my kids to have a good home and life. When things aren’t bad I enjoy his company but I feel like we aren’t compatible anymore. I don’t want to leave when he isn’t being mean but I also get tired of telling him to be nicer to his son. There’s some stuff I left out because of word count so if anyone needs more information then I’ll gladly answer questions.

I(21M) had a gf(21F) for almost 5 years with whom i was pretty serious with.Long story short,we were highschool sweethearts and loved each other a lot and we were gonna marry each other.Our families knew about us dating,and my family had even accepted her as future DIL of the house.I would have given my life for her if she asked for it and she would have given hers for me,that's how much we were in love.
Then 4 months ago,she had to move to Australia alone for her masters.She lived with 5 roommates who became her close friends.We still loved each other a lot and used to talk daily but we had our usual fights,but as time passed(around 1 month),it became harder to solve the fights and we were going through a rough patch.The reason for our fights was that she started attending house parties which also had guys in it and i was concerned for her well-being as i know not everyone has good intentions and i didn't want her to get hurt.In one major fight,i told her i cannot do this anymore and i want a break;We both knew this meant that i am angry with her and we haven't broken up as we had taken breaks before from each other which meant having personal space for a few days.
One of these days,one of her roommates sent me videos of her laying next to a guy,and some other stuff like that,which implied she could be cheating on me but i wasn't sure about it.The roommate had told me not to tell anyone she sent me those videos.We had a massive fight.She said that she was high,and didn't realize he was next to her(an obvious lie) and the videos were taken out of context.She said that we were on a break and lots of other shit.Then suddenly the next day,the roommate called me infront of my girlfriend and said she was just joking around because she(roommate) got drunk and was playing a prank and said the videos were taken in a wrong context.But i believe the roommate was forced by my girlfriend and other roommates to change her statement. The roommate and my girlfriend both apologized for their mistakes and we started working on our relationship again,but after a few days she started being distant and wouldn't talk to me as much.I was feeling something was off but didn't know how to bring it up.She would reply to my messages very late and sometimes not pickup my calls.We had each other's instagram but she logged me out of her account.Similar shit happened throughout the weeks.
I took my gf's account back because i was having issues trusting her again and said this was needed to build trust,but one of these days i unblocked the guy which was seen with my gf and a few days later he was sending couple posts to my gf.When i asked my gf about this,she said that she doesn't know why he's doing this and would block him,but i would unblock him and he would continue to send couple posts. Then a few weeks ago,i received a video from 2 months ago from an anonymous account of the same guy holding a phone and holding my gf and and kissing her on the cheeks.I asked my girlfriend whether something happened between her and the guy from before,but she said no as they weren't in contact anymore.I sent her the video and told her that i know she cheated on me,but she said that the video is 2 months old and she was high and drunk in that video.The video is infact 2 months old as there are datestamps but she doesn't look drunk or high in that video.She said she kinda knew what happened but was too scared to bring it up as she didn't want to ruin our relationship.She said that it was the most that happened between them and they did not sleep together. She later found out the guy had sent that video to me via an anonymous account to me.She fought with the guy and later the guy messaged me that whatever happened was when they both were high and my gf was loyal to me but it feels like bullshit to me. After that i didn't block my gf but just wouldn't respond to her in anyway.
I started hooking up with other girls as i wanted to get over my ex as soon as possible,but I got too close to one of these girls;I also took her virginity and i had told her that i am not ready for a relationship but she had already fallen in love with me,I like her a lot but honestly i still cannot get over my ex and honestly i don't think i ever will be able to.I love my ex too much for that.We had all our lives planned out together plus no matter what happened she loved me a lot when we were in a relationship,and it is important because i was really a very messed up person.Plus,i feel a bit weird in getting in relationship with this new girl as she and one of my homeboys has made out a few times in the past.
Idk what to do right now in this current situation.I feel very hollow from inside and no girl makes me feel the way my ex made me feel.My ex daily messages me multiple times and sends me multiple calls.She begs me to forgive her as she was high and drunk but i had warned her not to do all that stuff.And i feel that being high or drunk doesn't justify her actions.And i am not even sure if she was high or drunk.I also believe that she is lying on me and has cheated on me as she showed multiple suspicious behavioural patterns. I am 90% sure that she has cheated on me and this wasn't a one time mistake from 3 months ago,but when we were not in LDR,we loved each other a lot and it was the purest of love so that makes me question whether it was really just a mistake.All the videos and evidence proof is from a 3 day trip my gf had with a big group which involved her roommates and the guy.But the guy was sending couple posts days after that trip and that makes me doubt entire thing
I know most probably my girlfriend cheated on me and my relationship is over,and i shouldn't give her another chance but i feel an emptiness within me which i cannot seem to fill.I have become addicted to smoking now and i feel bad about it too.I have only written 70% of the entire story because i do not want to share too many details and i am too tired to remember those memories again.
Will it better to date my ex,or date my situationship,or keep hooking up,or staying single for some time?