We are very new to this.
At some point in my teens I (agender) split away my femininity (Kat) and locked her away. Only to open that lock much later at 28, which I thought was a simple transgender egg cracking. Turns out it was a whole other personality and she stared me down with a look that was like an ice spear in the chest. Before asking one simple "why?" and I said "I was afraid", then we embraced and I was swallowed. She swelled like a balloon to fill my mental space with me consumed inside. Suddenly there was nothing but her that I could see.
After that she started our transition like we had chickened out of in the past, and started build some sort of wardrobe. I'm not good at any of that so I let her have at it, helping where I could, and with time gained back some space and control. For 3 years we were kind of cohosting with a great deal of fluidity, it wasn't perfect but it worked.
However now I've had to come out again and resume full control so she didn't break our heart over someone dumb. And now the fusion or fluidity we had is crumbling and becoming more distinct now. This feels weird after 3 years but we both agree that maybe it is time to split apart again and take turns. The fluid embrace is taxing on me when she gets into emotional stuff over girls and I can't turn it off. For me to do my job I can't have those things flooding in and compromising my armour. It's for the best and the good of the whole, despite how much we have enjoyed that embrace.
I guess I'm posting this because I'm wondering if anyone else has had this experience?

Seeing pictures I’m sure will help familiarize many planning on taking a trip or those that have fears of using the rail if it’s something new to you. Also I use the words train/metro/rail/subway rather interchangeably.
First off I’ll be using Google Maps for these, but the in-person principles for most apply the same on any other platform.
​
Part 1
https://imgur.com/T1lidhT
When you start the route the first thing you need to figure out is where to enter.
Tip: The best way to do that is zoom into the starting point and sometimes Google will pinpoint where to enter a specific entrance.
In my picture you can see it tells me to enter also in the description via the Meiji-dori Ave exit which despite the wording can be used to enter and exit.
https://imgur.com/xldHjso
Where you enter sometimes doesn’t matter as long as it contains the correct metro line you need. Which in my case I need the Ginza Line at Shibuya station. You will often find a good amount of signs at Tokyo stations telling you which metro lines are available in them.
https://imgur.com/9Ruevh8
https://imgur.com/jDbWiiF
There you can buy a ticket to enter, but understand and I’ve only used this method once after landing in the airport. Is that you have to select the fare amount to in a sense “deposit” into this train ticket. As once you exit later is when the actual cost is accounted for.
Tip: Realistically most new people don’t know how to calculate this, so I recommend scrolling down on Google Maps for your route and it should tell you the actual total fare amount. Once you buy the ticket you can use it to go through the gate.
Note: I believe they only accept cash at least that is how it was for me at Haneda Airport
https://imgur.com/PJ5r3A1
The better option and is why I don’t know too much about the above method is simply using a Suica/Pasmo. I won’t go into them too much since they’re already covered pretty extensively in other threads, probably the FAQ too.
Note: There’s a problem with Visa cards sometimes for using it with Apple Wallet. I had trouble using my Visas, so I recommend adding a Mastercard or Amex to your Apple wallet before your trip. Which I fortunately added a dozen or so of my cards beforehand in case.
There’s also the JR Pass which operates similar to the ticket, but is unlimited for certain amount of days on JR Line rails. Again also covered extensively, so won’t go over that too.
Use the ticket by inserting it and make sure to grab it before leaving. Or use your Suica/Pasmo to get through the gate by tapping it on the giant part that has an “IC” on it.
https://imgur.com/LOM2Y8f
https://imgur.com/551y5P9
Once in the station make your way to the train platforms by following the signs that tell you which direction to go for your specific metro line, which for me was the Ginza Line. I have more example pictures of the signs in the second part.
When you are finally at the train platform area usually there are two platforms, one on each side or more depending on the station. On the Google Maps image previously you can see it tells me to go to Platform 1/2 which means I can embark on either platform options.
https://imgur.com/Ad0RgA0
https://imgur.com/hfLxQ4g
https://imgur.com/rxssM6p
Make sure you are at the correct platform as some are separated and if the train comes and you’re at the wrong platform. You probably won’t have the time to get to the correct one and board the train.
Tip: The best way to make sure is look at the signs above. They will have the platform number along with other useful information such as which metro line is associated for the specific platform. For some more modern ones that have digital sign boards they contain the incoming trains for the platforms with their intended direction and time.
https://imgur.com/xD8eKl9
Note: You can see there are different kind of trains from rapid, express, and local. On Google Maps it mentions which kind it is, so make sure you get on the right one as the non-local trains will skip stops.
Once the train arrives there will be digital displays on the side of the train carts mentioning which direction / ending stop the train is heading for. Make sure it matches what Google Map for your route since a number of other trains will likely stop by too.
https://imgur.com/VCOjlLE
On newer trains I’ve been on such as the Ginza Line they have big and detailed displays giving a ton of information of further stops. Some older trains will have a more pixelated singular line information display center.
Tip: The lines and station stops have specific circular logos. For Ginza Line you can see it’s a “G” inside an orange circle with the numbers representing the numbered station. On Google Maps it says to get off at G12 which I find these more straightforward than remembering the station.
https://imgur.com/JljmljX
https://imgur.com/V3lCVaS
Each stop it also displays which train cart you are in and where in the station are the exits for escalators, elevators, and restrooms. I don’t really pay attention to those parts since the crowd will more or less flow a certain way. Along with on the display are which doors will open.
https://imgur.com/PeYNuJz
If you were using the ticket method and end up with a higher fare than you originally put on the ticket then you will need to do an adjustment at the machine.
https://imgur.com/qkNGY75
​
Part 2
At this point you successfully have used the rail to get where you want. However, if your trip is further with other trains then this will go into transferring to the next train which is simple.
When you get off the train you want to look at Google Maps to see which the next metro line you will need to go towards. I don’t bother with the Google Map walking directions for this part since there are a ton of signs directing you where to go.
https://imgur.com/0w3YtaT
For this route you see I need to go to the Tozai Line. There will be overhead signs specifying the direction you need to go to
https://imgur.com/hI0cmxv
There are multiple different signs directing you to the metro line platform every few steps including ones on the pillars, walls, and overhead signs. Simply follow the direction the arrows are pointing towards.
https://imgur.com/8NHO3pp
https://imgur.com/eXnuZwF
For some they have a giant board telling you of all the stops along with which platform is on each side.
https://imgur.com/69ZBIka
For my train Google Map says I will need to Rapid train at Platform 3 that will transition to a different train while staying on board even after the last stop.
https://imgur.com/d8UjiAP
Here it is best to confirm again, you are at the correct platform through the signs around you. Pay attention to the direction of which the station number it goes toward as T10 to T01 would not be what I wanted as that would be going backwards. In addition there are also mentions of which direction the train is going through signs on the wall.
https://imgur.com/GpJAdY1
https://imgur.com/0t7kuaS
https://imgur.com/oG2Bqlw
That ends it since the transfer is basically the same thing just longer. Hopefully you learned enough that you can read the Google Maps route info to see what is important. Things to focus on such as the intended ending stop that determines the direction, the station number icon, local/rapid/express, and mainly which platform you need to be at.
​
Additional Items

• Things to be aware of such as train etiquette is recommended to follow. I noticed most trains are extremely quiet, many don’t talk and if they do it is at a low voice. Many commuters are usually on their phones or some are even napping or sleeping. So it would be recommended to be quiet to not bother others. In that same vein I would say people don’t eat or drink on the train either besides the bullet trains.
• People on the escalators stand on the left and walk/move on the right. If you plan to stand on the escalator while it moves stay on the left
• In many of the pictures you will see it shows the train cart number at the gate. Google Maps suggest certain carts to get on that might be less busy or easier to disembark. I don’t bother myself, but might be useful for others.
• Masks are generally from what I hear from Japanese people pretty recommended for wearing on the train since it’s an enclosed space near others.
• Trains generally get very crowded especially during certain hours or days, so if you plan on taking luggage with you regularly on the train it might be too cramped to do. Noted while still doable, might be rather uncomfortable to do. Though generally most do, but it’s often small suitcases if you got a massive one it might be better to do luggage forwarding through TAQ-Q-BIN.
• There are elevators often to get up to ground level. The overhead signs usually will point out where they are, but it can still be a hassle to find them.
• Goes without saying, but if you see an elderly person that looks like if they fall, they will die. You should give up your seat for them.
• Most stations have some kind of gate attendant there that can help if you have issues getting through the gate through some error or something.
• If you enter and exit the same gate it won't charge anything though sometimes errors out and you have the get the gate attendant to fix it for you.
• They are safe with tons of officers and attendants I notice just walking around or standing by.
• So far all of the ones I’ve been on have great A/C and heating.
• Most trains aren’t doing wild turns and what not that I noticed many regulars will just stand there and not hold onto anything.
• At least in Tokyo there are so many trains going the same way that if you miss your stop or train, or get on the wrong train, there will likely be another one in a few minutes so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
• You can search on google maps the Metro Line to see all of its complete route and stops

Throw this disclaimer to say this is one specific case and i'm sure there are differences between others metros, locations, and whatnot. Posted this in my profile since it's not allowed in the subreddits

Current cards:

• Discover IT $8,000 limit, 9/22
• Capital One SavorOne $1,000 limit, 2/23

FICO Score: 704 TU
Oldest account age: Student loan from 1/20 (4 loans, $14k total)
Status: 2/24, 2/12, 2/6
Income: $170,000
Open to Business Cards: No
Purpose of next card: Building credit, Cashback
Cards I've been looking at:

• Fidelity Rewards Visa Signature (Elan Financial)
• Visa Max Cash Preferred (Elan Financial)
• Citi Custom Cash

I am OK with category spending or general spending
3 hard pulls Experian (Discover, Cap1, apartment) 1 hard pull Equifax, TransUnion (Cap1)
State: WA
I would like most of these cards, curious for thoughts on the best order for rewards + credit building.

As it says. I love it on scrambled and unscramble alike. I really enjoy a balanced combination of runny egg yolk with ketchup. I could use that as a condiment in and of itself.
My girlfriend is half Mexican and says "ketchup on eggs is pretty popular among latinos."
When I make breakfast burritos it depends on the ingredients, but if I make them truly Mexican-style I'll eat them with Cholula or Tapatio and sour cream.
Otherwise ketchup upon eggs for me, please.
Let the downvotes begin.

Debed Canyon is a stunning canyon in northern Armenia with ancient monasteries, tons of hiking trails, and very hospitable people. It had a booming economy during the time of the USSR with 2 large factories, but after the collapse they closed and up to 2/3 of the population has left. Just a couple of years ago when we started the Tumanyan Development Foundation the only businesses in the town were a couple of tiny shops and a 3 bedroom guesthouse.
In the past 2 years we have opened a 28 bed hostel, a cafe in the town square, a museum of matchbox labels (people really love this) and started an artists residency. This month we are opening a shop that will cater to visitors needs better as well as those of locals. We have future plans for an English library (hopefully we can open it this summer, we have over 2000 great books in English) and other ideas as well.
So why are we looking for volunteers? Well none of these businesses make money yet. We realized even when we started our work that we had two important tasks to overcome.
First we needed to create a cluster of tourism services at once, because none of these projects would likely survive on their own, but as a cluster they can really attract people and grow off of one another's success.
And second obstacle we had to overcome the chicken-and-the-egg problem. You can't have people come to a cafe if there's no cafe, but you can't have a cafe if there are no people to come to a cafe. What this means is that we realized we would have to run these ventures for a while before they break even, which is our goal. People have to know that they can depend on these places being there, which is a big problem in Armenia's countryside. Nice new places pop up, but most of them are gone the next time you're in the area.
So yes, volunteers. We could use some help to get us to the chicken phase of our work, where these projects are self-sustaining as we add even more projects to our portfolio. Here are the positions we can accept volunteers for, but are also open to some suggestions from you:

• Our top priority is someone to work at the Tumanyan Bathhouse Hostel this summer. Experience would be awesome, but really isn't necessary. Personal references are however. Mainly need help with checkin/checkouts, setting up the simple breakfast, and a few other things that come up during the working of a hostel. We already have professional cleaners, so that is not required.
• Next priority is help at the Tumanyan Matchbox Label Museum over the summer and early fall. Basically it's a very small museum and you'd just man it for visitors who come in the morning. Currently we only have a year round employee who is there in the afternoons, so it would be great to be open the full day during the high season.
• If you have great experience at a restaurant/cafe, on the food end, we'd be interested in discussing menu development at our Flying Samovar Cafe. Perhaps even virtual. In-person help at the cafe will also be considered for regular customer service.

That's all for now. Artists can also keep their eyes on the www.Abastan.space website to look for the call for applications coming soon for artist residencies.
Sorry, that was a bit more long-winded than intended. If you still have questions, let us know.
Our website is www.tumanyan.town - it has all our projects as well as those of our friends and others all taking place in Tumanyan. Best way to reach us is to DM us here on Reddit.

I am considering the US Bank Reserve Visa and have several questions ...

• I see the current offer is 50,000 points with $4,500 spend in 90 days. Are there ever better offers either publicly or via referral? Or is this the best I should expect?
• I have read that cardholders of existing US Bank cards have received offers for the Reserve card. What is typically offered? Would there be any benefit of getting another card first such as the Connect+ and then waiting for an offer for the Reserve? I do understand it could be a year before an offer is sent.
• I am currently at 1/12, 2/24 and have a score of 800+, but I am not a US Bank customer. How likely am I to get approved?
• Is there a pre-approval process so I won't need to do a hard-pull if declined?
• I am also considering applying for the Amex Delta Gold card within the next week. How long should I wait after applying for that card before applying for the US Bank Reserve, if at all? Is applying for the Amex card first likely to reduce my chances of being approved for the US Bank card?
• Is the Enzo card still offering 1% cash back for paying off US Bank card through PayPal?
• Are they still counting the $400 AF toward the $4,500 spend requirement?
• Does the $375 travel/restaurant credit reset on Jan. 1 each year or is it based on your membership anniversary?

Alive: 497
Dead: 6,644
Day 449 Change: 3
Day 449 Percent Change: 0.600%
Total Percent Dead: 93.04%
Estimated Bots: ~43*
Pool Value Per Person: ~$143.68**
*Estimated Bots is a rough count determined by all "safe" logins within the first 30 seconds of a new day. This number is far from accurate, as there are surely some humans caught up in it, but for now, it is the best number we can get without having a bigger universe. Eventually, we will have a more accurate method to get this number.
**This number does not account for the credit fees, etc, removed from the total pool amount. At the end of the game the total pool will likely be closer to ~$67k after credit card processing fees are deducted by MSCHF. This number also does not account for your potential local and federal taxes which would be owed on the winnings.

I was so so hesitant to start minoxidil because I wanted to grow my hair back naturally and didn't like the idea of being stuck with something everyday for the rest of my life. I tried the usual suspects; DHT blocking foods/shampoo, rice water, rosemary, as well as a bunch of wild stuff; Onion water, ice baths, raw egg (my boyfriend was getting seriously annoyed). Nothing worked. I'm now 4 months in and I only see a small difference (definitely a noticeable small difference!), but the best, most life-changing part is that my mental health regarding my hair is SO much better since starting. I feel like I am being productive and doing something that will actually work, instead of experimenting with a lot of what if's. Getting over starting was really the hardest part, it kinda feels like a roller coaster that you are scared to get on but once you do you are really glad you did because you know you would be regretting it if you hadn't. Yay for evidence-based solutions!

I lurked a bunch in this group before my trip so am hoping that a trip report will help others. We had a larger group and a couple people in the group are mobility challenged so some of my tidbits are unique to those aspects.
Some general notes:
-I got a pocket wifi from Ninja Wifi and it was great. I picked it up from Kansai and dropped off at Narita and it was so easy. I rushed through customs and had it before the others were all through. Others in the group were using their travel plans (T mobile and Verizon) and by the end of the trip most were just connecting to my wifi because it was much faster. It wasn't completely perfect and had a couple glitches here and there, but nothing that restarting the unit didn't fix. I did bring my own power bank and 100% needed it.
-We flew into Kansai and landed around 7pm. The entry at Kansai was a breeze. Everyone had done the Visit Japan ahead of time. We took screenshots but there is airport wifi in the customs area so we could have used that as well. We were through and had our bags within 30 minutes.
-It did take us a couple of days to get the hang of the various train lines, reading google maps, etc. A lot of the train station are huge as well so we learned to allow ALOT more time than google suggested for walking, especially since our group moved on the slower side. I tried to prep everyone to add Suica/Pasmo on their phones but myself and my mom were the only ones who actually did. Two people had physical IC cards from a previous trip but the other 4 kept putting it off and ended up not ever getting an IC card. It was a huge pain to stop and get tickets every time and they regretted it by the end of the trip.
-I had saved everything using Google's MyMap before we left but I ended up not using it very much. I chose it so I could color code locations but it didn't integrate very well into the app. I had to click on the saved maps every time I wanted to see what was around us, and you also can't add anything on the app. This could be user error as this was my first time using the MyMaps instead of a list but I'll probably go back to just creating a list within the app next time.
-We brought little goodies with us to hand out in lieu of tips and everyone loved them. Little things like mac nuts (we are from Hawaii) were received with much exclamation and appreciation.
-We were celebrating 3 different birthdays while we were there so we did reserve those dinners, since we had a larger party. We mostly split up for the rest of the meals. I can't speak to how easily we would have gotten in without reservations as we didn't try.
-Like everyone else, I HIGHLY recommend the luggage transfer services. It was so nice to take the train from city to city with just a backpack. We stayed in hotels in each place and the front desk handled it for us each time. I had a larger suitcase and it was about 2000 yen for each of the transfers (Osaka to Tokyo and Tokyo to Nagano). The only time we took our luggage was on the last train ride back to the airport and that's only because we forgot to ask how far in advance we would need to drop off and I was nervous about getting it in time for the flight. It probably would have been fine though. I also left my computer charger in Osaka and the hotel shipped it to me overnight. You usually pay when you drop off your bags but they let me pay that one upon pickup.
-Day 0 - Arrived in Osaka. We stayed at the Swissotel Nankai Osaka and it is located on top of Namba station. This hotel was recommended to us by a flight attendant who travels to Japan frequently and it was great for convenience being right at the train and metro station. It was a 10 minute walk to the Dotonbori area, which was about the maximum that my aunt could walk with her walker.
- Day 1 - day trip to Nara. I signed us up for a free tour with the YMCA EGG Club and it was fantastic. We did get a wheelchair from the Kintetsu station info office. They have exactly one available and it's first come, first serve but our guide said she has never seen anyone use it before. It was perfect for us as there was a lot of walking that day. A few things were not accessible but we could leave the wheelchair outside and my aunt could use her cane.
We split up after the tour to get lunch. Me and an auntie ended up at Maguro Koya for oo toro and it was the perfect first lunch in Japan. A true mom and pop but they did have an English menu and spoke great English. It was only a few blocks from the Kintetsu station as well. Auntie and I had a few cups of sake as well and after a lingering and delicious lunch we went back to the train station and back to Osaka.
After a nap, we took a couple of cabs to the Dotonbori area since we were running late for dinner. In hindsight, it was silly for all of us to cab since the able bodied could have walked in the same amount of time. We didn't know our way around yet, though, so we all just cabbed. Dinner was at the Kanidoraku crab restaurant on the Dotonbori. It was just OK, probably wouldn't go back as there are so many fantastic places in Osaka. After dinner we went to Donki for a little chaos. Uncle nearly had a panic attack at the crowds and needed to wait outside.
-Day 2 - day trip to Kyoto - Only half of us did this as the other half had been before. We wanted to see as much as possible in the day so we reserved a guided taxi tour with Doi Taxi. It was 40,000 yen for our group of 4 and up to 7 hours but there was no way we were going to get to see much if we had to walk and take busses. I had asked him to take us to one temple and requested few stairs and little walking. He started by driving us to Gion and we did get out and walk around a bit. I had requested lunch at Yudofu Sagano in Arashiyama and if you like tofu you must go there! We walked around the Tenryu-Ji temple and gardens after lunch, which was beautiful. The Arashiyama area was packed with people. I thought Gion would be the crowded area but it had nothing on Arashiyama. After the temple we headed back to the train station to go back to Osaka. We probably didn't get quite the bang for our buck that we could have but we were getting very tired.
-Day 3 - free day. We all did our own thing. Some went to Osaka Castle, some did the Aquarium, and some just wandered.
Day 4 - Osaka to Tokyo. The teenagers were not impressed that we woke them up to get to the train station early to get bentos. They would have preferred to sleep and grab Family Mart but the rest of us wanted to browse and pick out the perfect ekiben. The selection was not as large as I was expecting at Shin-Osaka but we did still get some goodies. The teenagers were not impressed by the Nozomi and slept but the rest of us enjoyed our bentos and scenery. We got some beers and highballs from the snack cart and noted that they only took cash or IC cards, not credit cards.
Our hotel in Tokyo was the Shibuya Excel Hotel Tokyu. It wasn't quite as nice as the Swissotel but had a prime location right on the Scramble and the rooms were decently sized for Japan. My uncle almost had a panic attack when we got out of the Shibuya Station and he saw all of the people but he got used to it. We booked this hotel pretty far in advance and got a great deal. When I checked closer to the trip (just for giggles) it was a lot more expensive.
Day 5 - Tsukiji Market in the morning for breakfast/lunch/shopping then TeamLab Planets. Nothing new to report about those activities but this day is when we started to have issues finding escalators and elevators in the train station. Several stations in Tokyo were under construction and there were a couple of times we couldn't find any accessible options. Luckily, our mobility challenged people aren't totally immobile and could take the stairs but it was very tiring for them. I did appreciate that most of the subways and trains (and busses) have screens that show the stops and the location of escalators and elevators but they weren't always accurate if there was construction.
I really wanted to go to the Shibuya Yokocho for dinner and everyone in the group liked that idea, even the teens. I didn't think there was any chance we would all be able to eat together but we went early just in case. To my surprise we did find one place that could seat exactly 8 (if we crammed, which we did) and it was wonderful. I have no idea what it is called since most of the signs outside are in Japanese but the ownechef/bartender is named Hiro. We had some of my favorite bites of the whole trip there including a uni miso omelet and blue cheese baked mochi. The "menu" was just slips of paper on the wall, all in Japanese, but it was fun to try and use Google Translate and pick random things based on the translation. The mochi, for example, translated as "blue rice". A few of the adults bar hopped after dinner and we had a great time at each place, but Hiro's was my favorite.
Day 6 + 7 - Random Tokyo wandering and nothing interesting or crazy to report. Uncle went to Golden Gai by himself and reported that he liked the Shibuya Yokocho better. He thought Golden Gai seemed like a larger, more touristy version.
We did go to Tokyo Skytree one of these days and for the love, make a reservation if you want to go there. They do let you buy tickets same day but the line was horrendous and we were regretting our lack of planning as we watched the people with reservations walk right up.
Day 8 - Tokyo to Nagano - Our group split at this point. Half started in Shibu Onsen for some relaxation and half went to Lotte Arai resort for some skiing. I was part of the Shibu group so I'll report mainly on that. We chose Shibu because it was close to the snow monkey park and for the onsen experience. Shibu has 9 "public" onsen that only locals and people staying in a ryokan in Shibu get a key for. Getting there was very easy. The shinkansen from Tokyo to Nagano took 1.5 hours and then the Dentetsu line to Yudanaka was about an hour. Our hotel picked us up at the train station.
Shibu was one of the highlights of the trip and it was especially relaxing after Tokyo. We stayed at the Shibu Hotel, which is a ryokan and family run for over 100 years. It was a bit of a splurge but we chose to include the kaiseki dinner and breakfast. The service was incredible. There are two brothers that are basically shuttling people around all day, to and from the train station and to and from the snow monkey park, and running the hotel. One of the wives and the mother run the front desk. The ryokan also has several public and private onsen for guests. It seemed like a lot of the ryokan in town were similar but as I've only stayed at Shibu Hotel I can only speak for them. Also important to note, they have a few rooms with Western style beds and an elevator, which is the main reason we stayed there. Most of the ryokan only offer Japanese style rooms, which I would have been fine with by myself but did not work for the group.
Shibu was very accessible, which I was not expecting. The town is tiny and the whole thing can be walked easily. Some of the little alleys weren't walker friendly but the main streets were tiled (I think), very smooth and wide enough for the walker. Not all of the onsen were accessible but most had a little step/s or railing so we could all participate. It was some family bonding for sure LOL
Day 9 - Snow Monkeys! We took the hotel shuttle to the park entrance and they even had snow boots for us, as the trail gets icy or muddy depending on the season. It was cold but not icy for us but we still appreciated the boots as it was a bit muddy in spots. It took us about 20 minutes to walk each way but I can see it taking much longer if there's snow or ice. There were so many monkeys and they were very unconcerned with people. No shit throwing or bag stealing was seen, unlike my previous monkey experience in Thailand. You could do this as a day trip from Nagano or even Tokyo very easily. This was not accessible as there are stairs at the beginning and end of the trip and auntie didn't want to try and walk a mile so she stayed at the hotel and enjoyed coffee in the lobby and browsing some of their homemade goodies (green onion miso, yum!).
We then took the local train back to Nagano and checked in to the Metropolitan Hotel, again right at the train station (have you sensed our preference yet). Lunch was at Misoya for my favorite ramen of the trip. I love me some miso. We saw the main temple in Nagano and visited the sake brewery close by.
Day 10 - Last full day and it was raining and cold. We didn't do a whole lot this day because of the rain but did some last minute shopping. At the Tokyu department store we found the best basement grocery with a bunch of food stalls so we grabbed a bunch of different foods and a bottle of local sake for lunch in the room.
Day 11 - Lunch at Misoya again before catching the Shinkansen back to Tokyo Station and then the Narita Express to the airport. We were pretty disappointed in the food and shopping options at Terminal 2, unfortunately. We left Nagano after lunch at 1:30 so had allowed extra time at the airport for dinner and some duty free shopping but nothing was open by the time we got through security at 6pm. We should have had dinner outside of security but we didn't realize nothing would be open. There was one little conbini that has some tuna musubi and egg salad sandwiches so that was dinner. We were more sad that the duty free was closed as we had been planning on buying some of our whisky and sake allotment there. We didn't come home empty handed but just less than we had planned.
Whew, that took awhile to write. I hope someone, somewhere finds any part of this helpful!

I’ve always been terrified of water. Not like, a glass of it. I’m fine drinking it, using a toilet, washing my hands. Showering is tolerable, but unpleasant. Bathtubs are a no-go. Fuck pools, lakes and streams. And especially fuck the ocean.
Did I mention I live right on the beach. My therapist thought it might help me face my fears. I can’t say it’s done much yet.
My mother always said my dad was the same way. He didn’t stick around long after I was born. Just a couple of months. But the one memory that stayed with her is me crying my head off while she tried to bathe me in the sink, and my dad screaming his head off, “Not the ears! Not the ears!”
The word around town was that dad had little babies like me all over the state, all of them scared of water. When I went to the beach as a kid, I’d always walk up to the other kids who weren’t swimming and ask who their daddy was, but I never did meet any of my half-brothers or sisters.
Naturally, I always hated my dad. For a long time, I thought the best way to avoid becoming him was to skip having any children of my own. Then I married a great girl, Mira, who convinced me I was a worthy human being, and that the best way to fix the mistakes of the past was to settle down and become a loving father.
And she was right. When my son, Matthew was born, I almost physically felt myself become a better man–that something in me had changed at a biological level. When he wrapped his tiny fingers around my thumb and stared straight up into my face, suckling at the air, I knew I was done living for myself, that every day after would be for him.
Matthew was about three months old when I had a knock on the door and opened it to find an old, bearded man that looked like me on my worst day. I knew right away that he must be my father.
“I’m here to see the new grandbaby,” he said.
“Like hell you are.”
“Come on,” he said. “Be civil. It’s starting to rain.” He nodded to the threatening storm clouds overhead. A shiver ran through me. I’d been caught out in a storm once when I was young and ended up having a severe panic attack, screaming myself unconscious as I huddled under the relative dry of a maple tree.
My father entered, shaking a few drops of water from his coat and then setting it on a hanger by the door.
“I don’t suppose anyone’s stopped by to tell you the do and don’t of being a father,” he said, settling into a spot in the center of my loveseat.
“I’m doing fine on my own,” I said, picking a rocking chair in the corner. “Can I call you an Uber or something?”
He ignored me, and looked toward my baby monitor, where a black and white image of Matthew sleeping filled the screen.
“You’ll be having the headaches by now, I ‘spect,” he said. “Probably not enough to knock you on your ass yet, but believe me, in a month or two…”
My stomach dropped as he said these words. Because they were true. Over the last few months I’d been having headaches for the first time in my life. And they were getting worse and worse. It was like my skull felt too full.
“I’m fine,” I said. “You really should get going. My wife’ll be back soon, and I’d rather you two didn’t meet.”
“No she won’t,” he said quietly. “Won’t be back until 2:00am after her job at Rudy’s gets done. You and I, we’ll have plenty of time.”
My hands were shaking a little bit now.
“Time to do what?” I asked.
“What needs to be done,” he said, gesturing to the baby monitor. “It’s really better to get it done now. Less suffering for both of you.”
Outside, the storm was starting in earnest. Sideways rain pounded the front windows, and lighting struck the nearby ocean.
“Come on,” he said. “You must have sensed what you have to do. It’s in your blood. Your instinct. The Second Birth is just as natural as the first one.”
My head was throbbing. I rubbed at my temples, and they felt foreign to me. Where they’d once been spongy, I know felt new bristles of bone, like miniature spines beneath the flesh. Had they always been that way?
“They’re ready,” he said. “God, you’re practically bursting. Nothing like the first time. Come on, let me get a look at you.”
“You can look at me from there,” I said.
“Not this you,” he said. “I mean you. Come on. Whatever you think about me, I’m your father.”
He stood and walked over to me. I thought he wanted to look me in the eye. Instead, he leaned over and peered into my ear. His breath stank like birdshit and his beard tickled against my cheek, yet somehow I couldn’t tell him no.
“Come out,” he said. “I can’t see you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I said. I didn’t know whether to cry or scream. Of course, if I got too loud, I knew I’d wake up Matthew, and my night would get even worse than it already was.
Then, without another word, my father knelt on the ground before me. Then his eyes rolled back and his body went limp. For a second, I thought he’d had a seizure, maybe even a heart attack. Yet he was strangely still.
Then I saw movement: a sickly, subcutaneous shiver by his temple that progressed downward toward his ear. And then finally the thing came out: white and shimmery as a pearl. It might have been a worm, but it moved more like a snake, wet and glossy, clothed in shining scales.
“What are you?” I asked, pulling back into the chair, my heart beating uncontrollably.
“The same thing as you,” came a whisper from my father’s human lips. “You could call us passengers. Unkindly, parasites. But really, we’re symbiotes. We live amongst them, growing in their young at an early age. I’d like to think we live their lives better than they ever could.”
My stomach was in knots. I knew I was about to vomit any second.
“You’re saying I’m a… I’m not… I’m not human?”
My whole existence was shattering before me, because deep in my aching, pounding head, I knew it was true. I was just like him, a shimmering serpent, a predatory monster.
“You’re something far better than human.”
As my father’s body spoke, the snake withdrew back into his ear. Then, slowly, he rose from the floor stretching out his withered limbs.
“Now that your human body has sired an heir, the next stage of the life cycle has begun. Already, your eggs are hatching within you, ready for their host. All that remains is for you to sleep beside your boy, to let your real sons emerge and enter him.”
“Matthew would die?” I asked. And then I threw up everywhere, my stomach acid covering my legs and the chair beneath them. But my father just kept speaking, unperturbed.
“Of course not,” he said. “Everything about him would remain. But he would be… enhanced as part of the symbiote. Reborn as something better. As us. And once that’s done, your work here will be done. You can move on to another human woman, sire another heir. And then another and another. The survival of our species depends on it.”
I looked at the monitor. Matthew was still sleeping peacefully, even with the raised voices in the living room. He really was an awesome baby. He deserved better.
“No,” I said.
My father shook his head.
“I knew you were weak. I’ve been watching you all week, waiting for the right time to have this talk. In that time, you know what I’ve seen? A little man who jumps when his wife makes the littlest demand. You’re the one who rocks him at night, feeding him a bottle as she sleeps. You’re more a daughter to me than a son. Fine then. If you won’t do it, I will. I’ve always got an egg or two lying around.”
He got up and started walking toward the hallway, toward Matthew.
And that’s when I snapped. Without another word, I tackled him. We collided against a wall. As we did, I heard a sickening crunch and he crumpled to the floor.
“You broke its neck, you idiot,” my father’s body rasped. “No matter. Bodies are replaceable, and the solution lies right down the hall. Just drag me by your son. I’ll take him myself. Of course he’ll be a bit small for me at first, but in time–”
But I didn’t let him finish the thought. I dragged him outside into the storm. Rain pounded down and panic filled my body, but I didn’t scream. This fear was primal, but that didn’t mean it was real. As the raindrops circles around my ears, I felt myself–my reptile self–choking, but not in a way that would kill me, just like a little coffee that had gone down the wrong pipe.
I dragged my father’s body through the sand toward the ocean.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” my father rasped. “What the hell–”
I plunged him into the ocean as we reached it, the water crashing over his head, completely submerging him. He was trying to say something, looking up at me from underwater with terrified eyes, but I was no longer listening. For a second after that I saw the silvery snake–my real father–emerge from the body’s ear, but it was too late. The snake gave one last shiver and then went limp even as the life went out of his human form.
Back at home, I took the best shower of my life. For once, the hot water running down my neck didn’t bother me. I knew it wouldn’t be enough to choke me, now that I knew what I really was.
When Mira got home that night, I was rocking Matthew in the chair, which I’d cleaned thoroughly.
“You okay hon?” she asked. “Hope he wasn’t too rough on you.”
“Not at all,” I said. “He was perfect.”
“You know,” she said. “I was reading this article on co-sleeping on the bus ride home. Now that he’s a few months old, it sounds like it wouldn’t be too risky, and there might be some real health benefits. Plus, I just kind of like the thought of it: all three of us cuddled up together in one big bed.”
“He’s been doing so well,” I said. “I’d hate to change a thing.”
“Maybe one day?” she asked.
“Maybe one day.”

First/Prev
​
“Father?”
Mogan relaxed, wearing something like a small loincloth as he stretched out in something that was either a chair or a bed. After more than a week he still couldn't really tell which. He was leaning towards “bed” simply because he dozed off so often in it, but he thought that had more to do with his schedule than his age. At least, so he hoped.
“Father?”
At that, he was wearing more than most of the people here. Many walked around in clothing that seemed made mostly of strings. While it was an interesting view, he imagined it must be uncomfortable to walk in. Considering how warm it was, most of the San had picked up the local fashion quickly, although a lot of the tourists still considered them pretty conservatively dressed.
Last time he was on a beach like this it was with Hyeshi. Her clothing had been just about as minimal as his, and while he certainly didn't mind the view it had also been easier to see that she was showing with Ellisan.
Mogan had spent some time on the various types of watercraft, and even some of the small fliers, although he took it easy with those—not like Ellisan, certainly—but his schedule was too busy for most of that.
“Father!”
Mogan snapped out of his doze. “Sorry. What is it?”
“They've returned. The... ones... that were escorting the guests.” Even here, she was more careful about references to warriors or soldiers than most.
“Good. They're a day or two late, but I forgot sometimes how slow those guys travel.”
“And everything is fine. Nothing that really needs to be worried about.”
Mogan caught the hesitation around 'really,' heaved a sigh, and sat up.
“It can wait; you're wearing yourself out fixing everything here!”
“Did somebody do something stupid?”
Ellisan sighed. “Yes.”
“Is it something that will cause us trouble?”
She paused. “...Probably.”
“Then I can't just leave it.”
“Maybe, but you've got to delegate at least some of it. You didn't come home last night until almost morning. Breaking up the fight at the Seafront, dealing with the two idiots who got cheated in gambling at the Moonsrise, and then stopping that incident when some fool tried to start some bets on fighting.”
At least she didn't know about the two people he had to carry home because they were too drunk to move.
“Plus those two people you had to carry home because they were too drunk to move!”
Damn it.
“It's getting better.”
“It is.” Ellisan nodded. “They're not stupid, just not used to any of this. But you've done more than enough work. You should be out here enjoying yourself, not catching up on your sleep because you were cleaning up other people's messes all night.”
“Can't. There are two thousand people here, Ellisan, and they've all been through blood and fire the last few months. Most of them are drinking too much, but I don't know how to just cut them off. Tonight there'll be another fight at the Seafront—the owner doesn't care how many fights there are as long as he makes money selling drink. And there was almost a fight down at the walk, over the women offering... services... there. I'll need to be there part of the night. And—”
“And someone else will.”
“The chieftains are already busy.”
“Then tell someone else off,” she continued relentlessly. “Inton, that guy isn't stupid—let him handle the Seafront. And Burjit is the galaxy's premiere expert at dealing with men's stupidity; she can handle the walk just fine. Half of the time you know who the problem people will be, so find something to keep them busy instead of doing something stupid.”
Mogan sighed, defeated. “Alright. I'll delegate away all the hot spots for tonight. But for now, I have to see what this problem is.”
Ellisan shook her head, but lead him to the small gathering area under a few tents where the chieftains were relaxing. Mogan noted that they didn't look nearly as tired as he, which he found irritating. Burya nodded to him.
“I told you you didn't need to take care of every problem, Mogan. None of them tonight. For now... Have a seat. This should be interesting.”
Mogan wasn't sure he liked the way Burya said “interesting.” It sounded a bit like the way Ellisan had said “really.” But he sat, and someone handed him a drink that tasted something like fruit juice. Ellisan wasn't sent away. What her status was now, nobody knew, but she'd obviously saved enough lives to earn a spot in the circle. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, and then Logog spoke.
“I presume everyone is familiar with my hunter Chadnov?”
“He's not the sharpest spear in the quiver,” Skalli nodded. “But he's certainly the biggest.”
Logog sighed. “That's the one. He was with the escorts. And over the next six days they traveled, everybody spent a lot of time talking. Sort of got to know each other, and...”
“And one of the soldiers is with child, isn't she?” Skalli snorted.
“We didn't know this was possible!”
Ellisan stared at Logog, raising an eyebrow. “You didn't know that humans and Sylfa could breed?” Her lower set of arms waved. “What in the Frozen Valley do you think these are: antlers?”
Logog snorted, trying not to laugh. “It wasn't a Sylfa, Ellisan.”
“There weren't many Shawing there, but they're good people in general.” Mogan nodded. “We should speak to her.”
“It... um... She, uh...” Logog was staring intently at the sand between his toes. “She's not a Shawing either.”
There was a horrified silence, that extended for two full minutes before it was broken by Ellisan's horrified giggle.
“Well....” Mogan paused. “Let's, uh, let's bring in the happy couple.”
“Her name is apparently Karshta,” Logog said, “one of the blade-walls. It seems the Sovereignty will pay them for having Meht children. They're generally considered stupid, so even though their Meht are smaller they're considered to sort of have the best of both worlds. I think we can all agree we don't want the Sovereign to find a Meht with that kind of power and our.... traits.... yes?”
Mogan chuckled. “Too bad Akin isn't here. He really wanted to do a wedding for someone. Still, if she wants to mix her strength with someone else's intelligence, she might have wanted to pick someone... different.”
“The situation is what it is, not what we'd rather it be.” Burya shrugged. Mogan swore he sounded more like an old man than any of the old men present. “But if she's up to it, a marriage would be a good way to solve the problem. She stays with us so the child doesn't end up in the Sovereignty's hands, we get her contributions, and Chadnov has a wife three times his height to keep him from getting a roving eye.”
The others voiced their agreement, and a runner was sent for the happy couple.
They were a nervous couple when they arrived, the man ahead of the Mantu. Chadnov was a huge man, easily the tallest and heaviest of the San. Mogan was of average height, and he didn't even come up to the man's shoulder. He probably weighed twice what Mogan did, for that matter, and he doubted any of it was fat. He had often amused the children—and the ladies—by lifting whatever seemed heavy: barrels, logs, stones, vehicles, prey, whatever couldn't run away. In hunts, he was often known to cast his spear straight through an animal so hard that it stuck into the ground or trees several yards behind it. Mogan wasn't completely sure who was the stronger of the pair. Or the smarter.
Karshta looked fairly petite for a Mantu, which meant that she was a little less than three times his height and probably weighed a little less than a bison. Her legs were bent, but he doubted they could straighten much more, at least not enough to stand any taller, and her feet were three-toed and longer than a spear, with claws that dug into the sand as she walked. A heavy tail trailed behind her, occasionally brushing the ground, and Mogan had no doubt that even without the armor they wore it could be a definite hindrance to any combatant behind her. Her hands were also three-fingered, like her feet. Mogan had thought of her as much like that strange and fearsome lizard he had fought back on New Klon, but those had tiny, useless arms, with sharp claws that were probably never used. Karshta's arms were so long that they almost reached the ground, and while the three fingers, one opposable, had claws, they were clipped and smoothed.
She had a longer neck than any human, or most animals he had seen, but not exactly snake-like, and her muzzle was more than a foot and a half long, big enough that she could probably grab a human by the waist and powerful enough that she could then touch her teeth together. Four eyes marked the front of her head, and two more closer to the sides, smaller ones.
It was a certainty that if Chadnov's attentions were not welcome, she could have made him aware of this in a fashion that left no room for confusion and little for healing. What wasn't certain was just how they had managed in the first place, but Mogan shook his head. That way led to the madness of the Auels.
He was amused to find three of the others shaking their heads as well. What had attracted Chadnov was also something of a mystery. Her own clothing was of the three-strings variety, but she had no breasts, nor hips, and the shape of her legs was mostly the shape of a lizard's legs.
“Welcome, Chadnov and Karshta.” The way Ansam paired the two, as if he was stating one name rather than two, was certainly deliberate. “This will take some time, and we don't want you to be any more uncomfortable. Sit, relax.”
The two sat, looking somewhat nervous. For Karshta, it simply meant folding her legs under her, although Chadnov sat cross-legged.
“Now,” Ansam began. “Rumor has it that you're expecting.”
“Expecting what?” The two spoke together, and brought another moment of stunned silence to the circle.
The silence stretched, as they stared at the two and the two stared at them, with growing expectation, until finally Ellisan broke it.
“The baby?”
“Oh. Yes, I will be giving birth.”
Mogan nodded. “Well... why don't you start with that? Do you lay eggs?”
Karshta seemed offended, but she told them. Apparently Mantu birthed live young, often three or four at a time but usually just one or two for their Meht, after a pregnancy of nearly a full year. While other species often looked down on their Meht, Mantu valued them immensely. This was only in part because the Sovereignty offered a hefty payment, and in part because Meht were able to get jobs that most other species could not. Mantu were often the heavily-armored barrier for Sovereignty armies—blade-walls, they were called—but were often not intelligent enough to manage vehicles or guns. Mantu Meht could carry massive weapons, or carefully pack and load valuable goods, or even serve as police forces or intimidating guards with far less chance of mishaps.
They did not have milk, but the babies were immediately able to eat mashed meat; they were apparently like dogs in that they were generally carnivores but could eat some plants. And perhaps because they had less brain to develop, they grew to adulthood in a shorter time. This made Chadnov quite nervous until he discovered that she was in her nineteenth year, and they usually lived to their sixties.
“And you're certain that Chadnov here is the father?”
Chadnov winced, but Karshta nodded. “He is a cute little thing.” Chadnov winced again.
“Well!” Ansam nodded. “Congratulations to the both of you, then.”
Chadnov's eyes widened in horror as he continued. “That means, of course, that our people have certain duties. We'd like you to come with us, Karshta.”
“You'll need help raising your children now,” Mogan added, “and we can do the marriage right here, if you'll take him.”
“You are referring to... a husband? A... human husband?”
Chadnov stared, and they could almost hear the wheels creaking as they turned. The hunter could refuse the wedding, of course. But “of course” meant the same as “really” and “interesting” in this case—it would be the end of his reputation and his aspirations. He would have a hard time leading anyone, joining hunting parties, or getting near a woman again if it was known that he had gotten a woman with child and abandoned her. All he could hope for was that she would refuse him, and by the look of it that wasn't going to happen.
“And all of your children will be Meht. Here's hoping you have many.”
The smile she turned upon her new fiance was downright predatory, and Chadnov found himself chuckling.

hey y’all, i’m a 24 y/o trans man (so LGBT friendly is a must lmao) from east coast USA. i’ve never posted in one of these kinds of groups before BUT probably the best i can do right now is internet friends and i’d really like to have at least someone that shares some of my interests, or wants similar things from a friendship.
I, like most people in the world, am into music. I can vibe with any genre but my main would probably metal/rock in general. Sleep Token is my most recent musical obsession and they’ve been on repeat everyday lol. Polyphia too.
Video games are big in my life (given the time) and I’ll play anything from RPGs to shooters to whatever animal crossing is. State of Decay 2, The Long Dark, UFC 4, and Stardew Valley are my main rotation, but nothings off the table — I am just broke loool.
My job is probably the most interesting thing about me: I tend to the tadpoles of poison dart frogs, and I help maintain 300+ tanks (we guess-timated today probably 1,500+ frogs). The tadpole are my main job but I take care of them from egg to froglet, then they go to my coworker to transition to adults.
I like to read, but don’t as much as I’d like. Would love graphic novel recommendations anytime.
I am also neurodivergent so definitely at least be aware of that and bonus points if you are too
Shoot me a message if you’d like to chat at all, preferably with a little introduction! I also have a discord but won’t give it/any contact info out right away, jus to avoid the hassle 😂

So, I’ve been in a serious relationship with an amazing girl, who just so happens to be au pair here in the USA.
She wants to change her J1 visa (which expires at the end of August/early September) to either an F1 visa or B2 visa to, ya know, see where things go…so I was curious to see if anyone here has any advice or personal experience with something like this because honestly I’m scared to death of losing her and have absolutely zero knowledge about this stuff (besides the stuff I learned from stress induced Google search rabbit holes I’ve been getting into the past few nights).
Is an F1 or B2 visa easier to get? When is the best time to start the process? Which visa do you think would be the better option for her to get next? Is it possible for her to change from j1 to b2 to f1 if needed? Or even j1 to f1 to b2? Or is it possible to do a B2 visa twice? Obviously the most important part is that she avoids that 2 year rule where j1 visa holders are supposed to return back to their country for two years. She’s from Turkey and her family was hit hard by the recent earthquakes (thankfully they are okay btw 🙌) , so could that help with her getting a new visa without having to leave? She will be speaking with an immigration attorney/advisor at some point but I just wanted to see if anyone here could provide me with some insight and advice or what you may think the best course of action is to take…especially if you’re someone that has gone through a similar experience , although any knowledge and advice would be immensely appreciated!

Hi folks,
Looking for some advice on spousal PR process.
Some background - I have recently gotten engaged to a girl, and I plan to support her PR process as a spouse once we get married in early 2023. Note - she is currently not in Canada and does not have any visa to enter Canada.
A bit about me, I am currently on work permit and have submitted my PR documents under EE in January 2023. Question - what would be the best approach to bring my fiancee to Canada.

1. Option 1

a. Apply for Canada Tourist visa
b. Get legally married after she visits canada
c. Add her name to my PR application

1. Option 2

a. Get married outside Canada
b. Apply for spousal PR while she is in her home country and move to Canada after application is approved

1. If I go for option A, is it advisable to disclose that she is my fiancee or would that affect her visa application in any way?
   
2. If I do not disclose the engagement and directly apply for PR once we are married, will that create any suspicion in the mind of the case officer?
   
3. How long does a PR spousal process take on average?
   

Any other advice/thoughts around this would be much appreciated. No trolls please.

We didn't date long, but I just find it a shame that the relationship could just been thrown away like it was nothing. We were close friends for many years before we started dating. We were a big part of each other lives (I felt this way at least). I saw a future with them and we gave it a try despite them being afraid of relationships, because our friendship was always something more. I know our relationship wasn't perfect on either side. I got anxious from their hot and cold behaviour, distancing, lack of communication, etc. but I was willing to work on it together. At times it almost felt like they were sabotaging the relationship when things started getting better.
I'm not sure if they were ever attached at some point. However, I did feel at times that the feelings were reciprocated, but the next day often they would act like they were a totally different person. I honestly felt like I was walking egg shells sometimes. There was no consistency. My story with this person is long and complex with ups and downs. I know I should have left the relationship earlier.
I understand that relationships in the early stages end because of incompatibilities quite commonly, but I feel like we were quite in tune with each other given we knew each other for for years. So it's not like I was just started dating someone I just met. I feel like a lot of that could have been fixed with basic communication which I didn't get from their side.
They ended things after saying they didn't want to date anyone and they couldn't see me romantically. For me it felt like a blindside since I thought things were periodically getting better. They did admit that they did have feelings for me initially. It's been almost a year and I haven't heard anything from them since... I've reached out a few times. Once with the intent to see if reconciliation was a possibility, but they said their mindset hadn't changed and things would end the same way. I respected that and told them I'd be there for them and if they had a change in heart to let me know (I regret this). A second time to genuinely congratulate them on a life event/their birthday without any ulterior motivation, but genuine happiness for them. it was well received but I/they didn't escalate that conversation beyond a simple thank you and hope you're doing well. They never reached out to do the same. I know I'm not entitled to anything from them, but I just feel like I meant nothing to them.
We had a lot of good times together throughout the years and I'd like to think they shared some of those memories too. Many of my happiest moments was with them. It just hurts to know that they're not available in time and space anymore, and there's nothing I can do but move on. I just miss them as a person even if it isn't in the capacity of a relationship...
I've been trying my best to move on. I know it's been quite a long time and we didn't date that long. I've tried putting myself out there to date others, but I'm not sure if I'm ready yet. I've dived deeper into my hobbies, bettering myself, and working towards my career. healing has been up and down, and sometimes I feel like I moved on. Lately, I feel like I've been set back and I've noticed that it typically occurs when I'm under stress from life circumstances... any advice?

Current credit cards you are the primary account holder of: Chase Sapphire Preferred, $17,800 limit, 02/2023 Amex Platinum, no clue (bought a $7k fence easy enough), 02/2023 Amex Blue Cash Preferred, $25,000 limit, 02/2023 USAA Cashback Rewards Plus, $7,800 limit, 05/2017

• FICO Scores with source: Experian 757
• Oldest credit card account age with you as primary name on the account: 7 years
• Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 6 months: 3
• Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 12 months: 3
• Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 24 months: 3
• Annual income: Combined $100,000

CATEGORIES

• OK with category-specific cards?: Yes
• OK with rotating category cards?: Yes
• Estimate average monthly spend in the categories below. Only include what you can pay by credit card.
• Dining: $300
• Groceries: $700
• Gas: $200
• Travel: $80 a month
• Do you plan on using this card abroad?: CSP
• Any other categories (examples: phone/internet, insurance) or stores (example: Amazon) with significant, regular credit card spend: $400

MEMBERSHIPS & SUBSCRIPTIONS

• Current member of Amazon Prime?: Yes
• Current Verizon customer?: Yes
• Currently paying $13.99/month or more for Disney Bundle (Disney+ / Hulu / EPSN+) or other Hulu services? Yes, Disney bundle at $19.99 on platinum card for credit back
• Current member of Chase, US Bank or any other big bank?: USAA. Apart from credit card affiliations, no to others
• Active US military?: Yes
• Are you open to Business Cards?: Yes

PURPOSE

• What's the purpose of your next cards?: to figure out which cards to apply for next to maximize MUR points primarily towards Air Canada/Aeroplan, maybe Southwest. Also for hotels (wife prefers smaller boutique hotels for aspiration travel) if that's possible with these points.
  
• Do you have any cards you've been looking at? In order, Chase Freedom Ultimate, Chase Freedom Flex, Amazon Prime Visa, Amex Gold, Amex BBP, Upgrade CSP to CSR... Any other recommendations or suggestions?
  

To the SME'S that reside here, I'm hoping for your advice regarding what cards I apply for next as well as strategies/insight into reaping travel rewards points. I currently use my cards as follows-
*USAA for gas *Amex BCP for groceries and all streaming services except for Disney Bundle *Amex Platinum for Verizon phone bill, $19.99 Disney bundle, and one time expensive purchases for purchase protection *Chase Sapphire Preferred is currently everything else
I understand Amex and Chase both have Air Canada/Aeroplan as a travel partner, and with my wife being Canadian we like to travel up to Canada at least once per year. Our nearby airport is Raleigh and has Air Canada, but is also a Southwest hub so accruing UR points could be more beneficial. Does the Amex trifecta rack in more points than the Chase trifecta would? And which trifecta would work best for my current situation? Would love to set up an optimal card rotation within the next year or two. If you made it this far into this write up, thanks.

So, I’ve been in a serious relationship with an amazing girl, who just so happens to be au pair here in the USA.
She wants to change her J1 visa (which expires at the end of August/early September) to either an F1 visa or B2 visa to, ya know, see where things go…so I was curious to see if anyone here has any advice or personal experience with something like this because honestly I’m scared to death of losing her and have absolutely zero knowledge about this stuff (besides the stuff I learned from stress induced Google search rabbit holes I’ve been getting into the past few nights).
Is an F1 or B2 visa easier to get? When is the best time to start the process? Which visa do you think would be the better option for her to get next? Is it possible for her to change from j1 to b2 to f1 if needed? Or even j1 to f1 to b2? Or is it possible to do a B2 visa twice? Obviously the most important part is that she avoids that 2 year rule where j1 visa holders are supposed to return back to their country for two years. She’s from Turkey and her family was hit hard by the recent earthquakes (thankfully they are okay btw 🙌) , so could that help with her getting a new visa without having to leave? She will be speaking with an immigration attorney/advisor at some point but I just wanted to see if anyone here could provide me with some insight and advice or what you may think the best course of action is to take…especially if you’re someone that has gone through a similar experience , although any knowledge and advice would be immensely appreciated!