Ge dishwasher where to put pods

I have Thunderbird installed on (2) machines and one machine isn't showing the issue, yet, but the other is. When showing the "Favorite Folders" box it now shows, in addition to specific favorite folders, an account folder for one account...in my case an outlook.com account. When you right click it there is no option to hide/remove it from the Favorite Folders section. It wasn't like this before so must be the result of recent update. Removing the account does remove it from the Favorite Folders section but re-adding it puts it right back there. I don't see any option in settings or account settings to hide it or that enabled it. I don't see anything in the config editor related to the Favorite Folders section that lists what is there. This may just be a bug that I wait for but is there some place in my profile folder or elsewhere where I might be able to find and hide it so that only the folders I check as favorites show in that section? Thanks.

Hello! I am a software engineer who wants to run Llama for the first time and I am looking for a system configuration advice. Because I have a bunch of not used hardware and I want to play with self hosted AI, but I want to start from some interesting configuration. Still, I need an advice from where to start. I can swap parts if needed I have in hand: - 3 X RTX 3080 10GB - 6 X RTX 3060 12 GB - Ryzen 9 5800x - 128 GB DR4 RAM - 4 X 2 TB NVME drives that I can raid0 using nvme pciexpress card - bunch of x1 quality risers, power supplies
My questions are: 1) does Llama is using GPU's for text generation when I am sending a query or it's using RAM and CPU? 2) Llama is using GPU's only for the training? So if I want to query the existing model, there is no reason to install GPU's? 3) I can connect 3 X RTX 3080 10 GB or 6 X RTX 3060 12 GB to one machine. I understand that I should'nt mix GPU's. With what configuration should I start? Faster 3080's which will give me 30 GB vram, or slower 3060's which will give me 72 GB vram? 4) Power limiting - I understand that running Llama on GPU is more memory intensity than core intensive. Can I power limit 3060's to for example 120W without gimping much of the performance? I don't want to run it with 100% power limit because probably it don't have any sense. 5) Why should I have nvme drives? Why they are needed? 6) I am planning to put GPU's connected to pciexpress x1 risers - is it an issue for Llama? 7) People are training their models with some data. Probably there is a need for a lot of internet scrapping. I know that Google trained Bard with sharegpt prompts. From where people get the training data, if they are new AI starters, like me? 8) Can you recommend discord channels for people that are starting with large language models like Llama?

Just got back from what was my fifth time down in TJ. I have to say, this was my least sex focused trip and I spent more time enjoying Mexican culture and some of the other offerings in Tijuana. I have a solid good five ladies on rotation now so I don't need to do any of the buying drinks or negotiating for arriba downstairs as often. I just have them come directly to my room. I imagine most of here will eventually have our own little rotation after going there enough times so I think it helps to explore more of Tijuana so you have better and different places to take your ladies. That being said I was able to meet up with EGP while I was down there.
ElGuerroPuto
Also known as EGP around here. I know some of his posts have been polarizing but I've always thought he provided a ton of value to this sub-reddit as both an English and Spanish speaker, someone that's familiar with the area in Zona Norte and the solid advice he provides keeps guys from having their wallets emptied and their hearts broken. We agreed to meet at Las Chavelas and I was met by a polite, intelligent, well spoken, well dressed and clean cut young man. We ordered a bottle of wine, not the wine scam bottles, but an actual bottle of red vino Cabernet, did some shots and shot the shit for a while. He had some hilarious stories. I can now see why a lot of the top tier girls in HK love him. Random ladies inside the bar complimented us and said we were some classy motherfuckers. It didn't take long for two chicas to join us. EGP had to take care of some personal stuff so I poured him a last glass of wine for the road while I stayed with the two ladies.
EGP man, I still have a cigar with your name on it. Gotta hit up the clubs again the next time I'm down there! Thanks again for being so welcoming on my most recent trip!
For those of you wondering where he went and why he's been missing in action, he's being stalked, harassed and doxxed by a simp/snitch around here named TJCoffeeZilla who has nothing better to do but mass report him from multiple fake accounts. For you new guys, TJCoffeezilla is a beta simp loser who passes information from this sub-reddit to the girls who work in the clubs. Guys who have been around here a while are all aware and usually downvote him into oblivion. You can see how he was exposed here. I recommend everyone here block him if you haven't done so already. I have already done so, but he still lurks around here on fake accounts like the coward that he is.
Speaking of this worthless fucking cocksucker TJCoffeeZilla, I let the two ladies I was with know that I needed to use the restroom. On my way to take a piss, who do I see sitting by the stairs at the back of Hong Kong? TJCoffeeZilla. Unsurprisingly, he was sitting all by himself without any girls. Also as expected, he is every bit as repulsive, obese, slovenly and disgusting as I imagined him to be, except maybe worse because a loser like him actually exists in real life. Someone hit him at birth with the ugly stick and you can easily see where all the obsessive beta simpiness he constantly exudes come from. Imagine not being able to get laid in a whorehouse. Well, TJCoffeeZilla doesn't have to imagine it because he lives it everyday and it happens to him every time he sets foot into any of the clubs. Even when he tries to pay, the girls don't want him.. Even more comical is he's still crying about it as of two days ago. You will be paying for pussy for the rest of your life TJCoffeeZilla and even, the girls there don't want you.
It all makes sense now. How his entire post history is just non-stop whining about the girls in the clubs that refuse to sleep with him. How TJCoffeeZilla simps over all the girls' Instagrams and buys their OnlyFans like the loser that he is. The non-stop simp comments he makes about how he "respects" and puts the girls that work there on pedestals. Hilarious..
One of the girls I was with when I went back to my seat said that he's constantly creeping the girls out and nobody offers him any services because he never has any money. Lol. He just literally sits in Hong Hong for hours and fawns over the working girls, pathetic. TJCoffeeZilla, you will never amount to anything in your life as you are ugly and a terrible person. Sharing information with the girls there because a comment on reddit hurt your feelings is the lowest behavior but it's not unsurprising coming from you. No self respecting man or anyone that commands any sort of respect from others would behave that way. But you're a massive cowardly pussy so you do things like that and it's sad. All this stalking/harassment/making multiple accounts will never change the fact that nobody will ever love you and that you'll be sucking cocks for the rest of your days. There's nobody in this world who hates you more than yourself, you were easy to identify and size up. Everything I said about you here now is true and you know it. This non-feud is over and I'll tell you directly why, I took one look at you as I passed by and you can't kick my ass. Rat simp bitch.
Hong Kong/Lucia
Now that that ugliness is over with, let's move on to better things shall we. I took Lucia, one of the girls I met with EGP up stairs. Just a note, nobody ever tried to charge me over $100. Even though I was with two ladies downstairs, I chose Lucia because she was the sweeter of the two while the other chick was way too aggressive. All natural gal from Guadalajara. Big natural tits and a big ass. Lucia also let me record the session. Usually girls are hesitant to record and even if they agree, they tend to be shy and timid which is understandable. Not Lucia. Not only did she agree, she set up the camera herself, turned all the lights way up and looked directly into the camera when we fucked. BBBJ included as well. Condom broke but luckily I caught it before I put it in. I had so much fun with her that I texted her in the afternoon the next day and she came directly to my room for round two. Will be keeping her in my rotation and hitting her up the next time I'm in town.
Tropical
I met one of my regular gals here for a drink and I even took Lucia from Hong Kong with me to join us. While there, I saw just the most gorgeous girl on the dance floor. Not usually my type as she had smaller tits and a thinner body but man she was beautiful and just a fantastic dancer. Lucia invited her over, her name was Aphrodite, and then Lucia returned to Hong Kong because I guess they can only stay over at other clubs for so long. What a sweetheart though to make sure I was taken care of because she had to return. I spent the rest of the evening just chatting it up with with her as she was interesting and really sweet to be with. I usually bring some premium cigars with me and like sharing them with other mongers down there and I was able to make some new and old acquaintances while there. Saw my pal on the dance floor with his girlfriend and he invited me over and we all had a fantastic time until I headed off to bed.
Civilian Ladies
As I mentioned earlier in my post. This trip wasn't as sex/Zona Norte focused as my previous ones. As with anything, familiarity breeds contempt and doing things too often can wear out the novelty of things, Zona Norte included. I noticed that often, the local women are just as beautiful, if not more, than a lot of the working girls. The primary purpose of the trip was to meet an old friend who I've known since childhood. Him and his wife bought a home in Tijuana a year ago and his birthday just passed so I wanted to celebrate with them. My friend and his wife invited me to Las Pulgas which is just a fantastic venue. I got to attend my first real Mexican concert!!! Everything is much cheaper here too. No $30 wine scams, waiters bothering you non-stop or overpriced buckets of beer.
While waiting for the concert to start, I saw two beautiful women sitting nearby. One of them was just my type, pale skin, big titties, long black hair and nerdy glasses. The other girl was super cute too, beautiful eyes, shorter light brown hair, tight dress and more of a spinner type. I saw several dudes approach them but they just kept to themselves and danced with each other. I thought to myself "fuck it, I'm on vacation" and decided to just shoot my shot. I approached her and let her know that I wasn't from here, my Spanish wasn't that great, but I'd like to buy her a drink. She immediately invited me to sit down with and we started talking with Google translate. Right as this happened, the concert started and I asked both of them to come with me.
They said they couldn't at first because they didn't have tickets. My buddy who's birthday we were celebrating, the ultimate fucking wingman, was able to get them in even without tickets. Damn, this made me look so good in their eyes and the girls were super excited. Once inside, HOLY SHIT, there were a ton of beautiful women, food was great and there's bars at every corner. The concert was awesome and BOTH girls I brought in were hitting on me at the same time. The spinner girl asked me if I had a girlfriend and I told her "many" and then in Spanish she immediately replied "can I be your next one?" instant crush right there. I ended up spending the rest of the evening with the first girl wearing glasses. I guess the singer for the concert is super famous and was one of her favorites that she even cried when one he sang one of her favorite songs during the concert. It felt really good to be able to do something nice for the both of them as I find Mexican nationals to just be friendlier overall than many people in the states. Amazing time. I think I did pretty well for myself as she called me this evening directly and said she wants to meet up again when I return. This is my first time hooking up with a local gal so if any of you have advice and tips on how to game Mexican locals I'm open to what you have to say.
Overall I think this was one of my favorite trips. My Spanish is slowly improving as well. As I tell you guys usually, dress well, smell nice, have a nice haircut and ask a lot of questions when you're making conversation. Every girl I was with on this trip complimented me on my cologne and loved the smell of it. I also started lifting weights again to fight off some brief depression and inflammation that I was experiencing and received compliments on that as well. So that's something I recommend everyone here do if you don't already. Really helps with any interactions you have with the ladies and it will make you stand out from other guys when you're there. Also, don't jack off or watch any porn a week before you go. The sex will be much more enjoyable.
Only thing I need to ask you all. You guys know of a good and quick laundry service in the zona? I spilled some salsa while eating huevos rancheros on my favorite shirt and I just couldn't get the damn stain out. Good thing it was dark in most of the clubs. As usual, appreciate any comments, feedback, suggestions or advice from you all.
TL;DR: EGP is a solid dude, I recommend exploring more of Tijuana if you get a chance.
P.S. for your guys that travel from California. I usually do something nice for myself when I drive back home from TJ. This includes eating a nice meal and going to some type of museum or car show. This time I went to the Godfather exhibit at the Academy Awards Museum as "The Godfather" and "The Godfather Part 2" are my two favorite movies. Highly recommend if you're a fan and the overall museum is fantastic.

i just unlocked a deep core memory and i wanted to share. my native language is Portuguese and when i was 10-11y I was already ok in knowing English and i randomly would use English words in my speech.
one day, when I was 10-11y, my sis asked me to write something for her college graduation (it is tradition for her to put in a briefcase) and i wrote mostly in portuguese but there was a phrase where i said "heys gays [something in English] ".. instead of "heys guys".
again, my English was only ok at that age hence the missap. i even wasn't aware of the "gay" meaning at that age (but i knew something was different in me, which i didnt care to explore for many ages) .
well, later my sis read it to me in front of me just to see and when she read the passage "heys gays" she looked at me like this 👁️👄👁️ for a brief minutes. she then asked me to not put the "hey gays" and change it to something in portuguese.
that memory, of just brief minutes made me retract from whatever i was coming out of... i didnt know it was a "gay closet"

This is a repost of a post I made on ChromebookGaming. I am posting it here as well since I figured some folks may not browse ChromebookGaming and this way it is more likely to be seen by, and therefore help, more people.
I recently got Quake 1 up and running under Crostini on my Intel Chromebook and thought I would share how. (I'm not sure if this version works for ARM devices. If anyone with Crostini on an ARM device wants to test it please post you results below, thanks)
I am aware that there are several other versions of the Quake 1 engine around. I will explain my choice at the bottom of the post. But first up, how to install. (I know it looks like a lot, but it's pretty simple, I just tried to explain clearly, so it got a bit lengthy)
After trying several versions I have found the engine port "Darkplaces" to work the best. To install it, just open the Linux Terminal and enter the following command.
sudo apt install darkplaces
The press y to confirm the installation.
Next you need to put the Quake 1 data files in the correct directory. Open the files app, go to Linux Files, create a new folder called id1 then place the files in it.
The required files are PAK1.pak and PAK0.pak. You can get these from either the full version of Quake, or the shareware version. The full version is purchasable on Steam, GOG, and possibly other online game stores.
Once the files are in the id1 folder you can run Quake by opening the terminal and typing darkplaces.
That's it! You are good to go!
If you want to be able to open DarkPlaces from the launcher you will need to add a .desktop file for it to the Linux system so it appears. The way I did this was via the app menulibre. It's a graphical app that allows you to create and modify desktop entries for apps. You can install it by typing the following command.
sudo apt install menulibre
Once it's installed, run it by typing menulibre into the terminal and hitting enter.
To create an entry for DarkPlaces hit the + in the top left corner to make a new entry. The click on the "command" field and enter the following.
/usgames/darkplaces
You can then give the entry a name and description in the top two fields and then save it by hitting the save button to the right of the + button. You should then have a launcher entry for DarkPlaces making it easier to run. It may not appear immediately, it took a couple of minutes for me, you may need to restart for it to show.
Now as for why I chose this version.
I have tried Web Quake (Web Store), official Quake (Steam), QTouch (Play Store), and QuakeSpasm (another Linux port).
Web Quake works, but is very bare-bones and lacking in features, graphical enhancements etc.
The Steam version is majorly bogged down with extra online Bethesda account crap.
QTouch is great, but I was unable to get it to recognise the mouse on my Chromebook, so unfortunately it's a no-go.
QuakeSpasm simply refused to see the .pak files seemingly regardless of where I placed them, while DarkPlaces saw them straight away. I know others have had success with QuakeSpasm, but I can't work out what I'm doing wrong, and DarkPlaces just worked.
Sorry this got a little long, but I'm posting this here in the hopes that others seeking to play Quake on their Chromebook will find it and it will save them some of the messing around that I went through to get a properly working version of this game installed.
I love Quake 1. It has a special place in my heart and memories, and I'm very happy to have it running properly on my Chromebook.
Happy gaming, and have fun :)

Reposted because we needed to add some things and correct typos.
I'm sorry for how long this is. I'm helping post this for a friend. Sorry if I can't do this, here's as short as possible.
"Any experience would be of help. I'll summarize as much as possible.
A GOM in USA received a big batch of stuff from Korea. In there I had: 2 gos I had made + some individual things I bought at the time. I paid as quickly as possible so I could finally have my stuff and send my joiners their stuff as well. This GOM had already send me stuff on December so I thought it was all okay and everything will arrive as normal and I'll be finally done with this.
Week 1: my package gets sent, but the tracking label was sucked at "label created" status. I asked the gom about this, they asked the place they dropped it at and tell that everything has been picked up. I accept and wait
Week 2: Status still stuck in "label created". I start getting nervous, asked the user about it. They say they went there again, looked around with the staff of the store and there had been no packages left, everything was picked up. Opened a case at UPS and tell me we should wait. I accept but still ask for any sort of proof/receipt of the package or the claim so I could stop bothering them and just ask UPS in the meantime. I got none, they say that, as the place was not an office they get no receipt and that they got the email explaining that the case was opened and it will be like that up until 3 months. I accept and wait as I was also told by other people that some deliveries have been slow and tracking had been taking some time to update.
Week 3: no changes. I start getting more and more nervous. I want to clarify I never demanded anything but was always begging for help and any extra info they can give me. I did act more intense, sending one long message with info I found online and asking, once again, for maybe the claim ID so I could ask UPS about it. I was only answered once, no info was given, was told to wait. The other messages were left on read or ignored.
Week 4: I asked for help in reaching out. I was already desperate. Also, finally saw a change in the guide but this was a "void shipping" change that had me freaking out. This time I did send a new message to the GOM asking "what happened, where are my stuff" because I didn't knew ups automatically cancels guides that have not been scanned in over a month. The only thing I saw online was that only a registered user would be able to do that.
I want to clarify I have never insulted or demanded information in a bad way. I was always just desperately begging for any reassurance that at least there was an open case as I wouldn't be able to open one. I do admit I was being intense, but again, it was a box full of not only my stuff, but other people's.
The only time I "demanded" something was with that only label status change. And I did ask "what did you do to my stuff", just straight up panicking.
After that I finally received an answer in the form of various voice notes in a tone I perceived as condescending and angry. Saying that they went to left the packages there themselves, they saw them getting scanned and put on the shelf for the truck to pick them up. They had worked there do they know the stuff was correctly placed and given to the truck. Telling me they did what they could and that I was being disrespectful. That shouldn't even have done anything as they "are not responsible for lost/damages", that stuff gets lost and that's awful but it happens so not everybody can be a GOM, and if I couldn't wait 3 months then that was on me.
I felt awful. I apologized for my reaction, truly, I didn't knew what had happened or anything, yet so far I have not given any of the proofs I've asked for. I've asked UPS for weeks now and they have always answer that there's no case opened to that package. The GOM told me that they got an email with no reference number or anything, so there's nothing I guess. I asked why did they used UPS as I wanted to maybe ask anybody else if they had any delays or something, also because I was the only one I saw being sent through there, I do trust they send my stuff but just wanted any more information or even any number I could call to ask for help.
I have been given no proof or anything, the GOM told me that the package was still lost and that's it. I know I made them upset with the last message I sent but, again, they were not responding me I and I still didn't have any proof of anything... And I should just accept that the package o have been waiting for months is now lost in USA and that's it.
They did told me the first week that, when they went to the store, they told them my package have not been scanned correctly so they don't know how it magically disappeared. This statement just makes me feel really bad because it sound wrong...and I know I needed help to claim UPS for help.
Again, I admit I was really intense begging for help, but am I really wrong here...? What can I do...? I really cannot lose that... I'm sick right now because I have not been able to sleep at all thinking about it and my anxiety is getting worse. I can't ask for more help as the GOM told me they would not put up with me anymore... Ups keeps saying there's no case opened for my package... I'm miserable and need help... A friend told me to do a post but I'm honestly scared I'll make things worst or get nagged at again, or get blocked right away and no help at all.
I don't know if packages like this still manage to arrive, so maybe I should wait, but I have no input from anybody, all I got got was that this was not normal, contact ups and wait. But it's been a month, the tracking number doesn't work anymore, I'm so scared... Any more information or experiences would be really helpful."

​
Command & Conquer:
The original game that gave rise to one of the most entertaining strategy game series ever made, that is until EA acquired Westwood and killed it. Command & Conquer takes Dune II, dresses it with more realistic alternative history setting, improves the gameplay mechanics and introduces some of the best video game cinematics of all time. It is by all means the definition of old school RTS. It is very fast and extremely fun. The music is second to none, except its own sequel, Red Alert. Yes, when you remove the nostalgia goggles, there are some problems with it. The campaign AI cheats and the missions are very scripted and the harvester AI can be really dumb at times. Like most RTSs, multiplayer is not that great, which is probably one of the reasons that the genre is on life support nowadays. You can’t really enjoy a multiplayer game where players build a base, defenses, an army and do strategic attacks. No. Players will probably attack immediately, with everything they have and the game will most likely end in less than 15 minutes.
That said, I refuse to take my nostalgia goggles off. I love this game with a passion. As a teenager, I used to love the charismatic leader of Brotherhood of NOD, Kane. And after all these years, he is still one of the best video game characters ever created. This is Command & Conquer baby. This series was only surpassed by StarCraft (which heavily imitated it but at the same time improved it greatly) and the original game still holds up.
Long live Kane and the Brotherhood of NOD!
9.5/10
​
Command & Conquer: The Covert Operations
The Covert Operations is the expansion for the original Command & Conquer and it’s a step back from the main campaign. You won’t really find a proper story, nor will you watch awesome cutscenes C&C series are known for, which led me feel like I was playing some skirmish missions thrown in randomly. The difficulty felt artificial and there were several missions where I could only progress by saving and loading, trying to second-guess what the game designers had in mind in order to progress.
I enjoyed the secret Funpark missions which adds dinosaurs. A goofy and short little campaign… Overall, C&C: The Covert Operations is still a good game, but pretty much everything good about it, it owes to the mechanics of the original game. It is, however, a sloppy campaign and a step back from Command & Conquer.
I have revisited the original C&C numerous times, but I don’t think this expansion is something you would keep coming back to.
8.5/10
​
Command & Conquer: Red Alert:
Red Alert was my favorite game as a child. I spent hundreds of hours playing the campaign, skirmish missions and multiplayer on 56k internet. Revisiting was a big nostalgia trip for me and also interesting to see how it compares to the original Command & Conquer after all these years.
Let’s start with the music. Hell March is one of the best video game songs ever, if not the best. The entire soundtrack is nothing short of a masterpiece, puts you in mood and is a great fit for the fast-paced gameplay of Red Alert.
The story is a cheesy alternative history. Einstein invented a time machine and made sure Adolf Hitler doesn’t come to the world stage. This, however, makes Stalin rise as the absolute power in WWII. There are unforgettable characters from Tanya to Nadia, and more importantly Kane (I had erased from my memory that Kane appears in Red Alert. Without spoiling anything, let me just say it was a pleasant surprise). The cinematics have always been a strength of Command & Conquer series and Red Alert doesn’t disappoint. I especially enjoyed the ones with Tanya.
Gameplay is enhanced in some ways. The two factions (Allies and Soviet) are more distinct from each other in comparison to GDI and NOD of C&C. There are many units which are exclusive to a faction. While Soviet appear to be impenetrable with their Tesla Coil and Mammoth Tank, Allies have the naval artillery cruiser which are the most powerful firepower of the entire game, as long as you have access to water.
There are some serious AI issues in the campaign. You will often see your harvesters or submarines getting stuck. This one I remember from the original game. But there are also problems with the enemy AI, where the enemy stops responding to you efficiently as soon as you destroy some harvesters or power plants. I am not sure if this comes from the original game or if it is a problem with the remaster.
In most aspects, Red Alert is better than its prequel Command & Conquer. It offers more strategic depth with a wider range of units. But in terms of offering a good campaign challenge in medium difficulty, Red Alert pales in comparison to C&C. The enemy in C&C is smarter. Again, this may be an issue with the remaster but not the original game. I am not sure.
9.5/10
Command & Conquer: Red Alert – Counterstrike
Before Half-Life Counterstrike, there was Red Alert Counterstrike… This is the first expansion for C&C Red Alert and overall, a much better one than the Covert Operations (expansion to the original C&C). There is a story and there are some good cutscenes, although they are not as good as in Red Alert. I have played the Allied Forces campaign first and I was left disappointed with the lack of naval war, which I believe is one of the most enjoyable aspects of Red Alert (especially if you are playing for the Allied Forces). The Soviet campaign, however, makes up for it with numerous missions in which you will engage in naval combat, including those you will capture and use Allied naval units.
Last but not the least, Red Alert: Counterstrike also features a short secret campaign named “It Came From Red Alert!”, similar to Funpark in the Covert Operations. However, this time, dinosaurs are replaced by giant ants. I have found the ant missions much more enjoyable than the dinosaur ones for C&C. It features some special cinematics, as well as its own story. And the half serious & half comical tone perfectly matches the overall tone of C&C series.
Overall, Red Alert: Counterstrike is a great expansion and you should definitely not ignore it. Counterstrike does not add any new units and that’s a drawback. However, what this expansion already offers definitely makes up for it.
9/10
​
Command & Conquer: Red Alert – Aftermath
Among the original C&C and original Red Alert games, I consider Aftermath to be the best expansion. It offers a variety of missions, which never get boring and difficulty throughout the campaign is just right. It offers plenty of new units including Chrono Tank, Field Mechanic, Tesla Tank among others… Yes, there is not much flow to the story and some of the cinematics are just fillers used repeatedly. However, if you take into consideration all the new units, new tracks to an already amazing soundtrack and dozens of multiplayer maps, Red Alert: Aftermath is a must play expansion, if you consider yourself a C&C: Red Alert fan.
9.5/10
​
Some words on the Remastered Collection:
This is almost a perfect remaster of one of my favorite game series of all time. Remastered graphics are beautiful and true to their original spirit. Press space anytime and you can switch to old graphics.
Red Alert medium difficulty felt easier than original medium and hard felt much harder than original hard. So I feel there are some issues with the difficulty balance in the remastered collection.
Overall, if you consider yourself remotely interested in RTS games, you have to purchase this collection. It is a great remaster; it blows new life into the multiplayer scene and it brings back Command & Conquer franchise from the grave. I am only hoping we will see a similar treatment to other titles such as Tiberian Sun, Renegade among others.
9.5/10

Not sure if this is the place to put it.
So a couple of months ago I caught my finger in the boot of my car as it was shutting and had a huge puddle of blood under my nail that covered like 50% of it. Then it moved to the top as my nail was growing and when it got to the top it started peeling like from the bottom of where the blood was a hole appeared and it kept growing and now half of my nail is basically coming off.
It's almost come off but there's still a bit of skin attached to it and hurts like hecc when I try to take it off so I've left it and put tape then one of my cats mini litter bags around my finger just to keep it from catching.
But now when I take it off after work there's this bad smell and the skin where the bag was is paler than the rest.
Is this bad? Like is it gonna cause an infection or something else?
Here's a picture of my nail. Caution: it's kinda icky.
https://i.imgur.com/7tg6U8k.jpg https://i.imgur.com/1bkpSzV.jpg

So I posted here a few weeks ago, planning on tapering off of my 170mg methadone prescription, and I wasn't able to get any headway due to my counselor quitting his job, which basically cancelled the entire process of me trying to get the doctor to taper me off.
I feel kind of anxious because now I've been on methadone for fifteen months and I talk to people at the clinic every day at the bus stop, it seems like most of the people at my clinic have been on methadone for 10-20 years and that scares the hell out of me. The last fifteen months have gone by so fast and I just can't wait to be off this stuff.
Anyways, my new counselor is supposed to be a lot more experienced, I've known him for a while, and honestly my last counselor was really inexperienced and had never started a client's taper before so I feel a lot better about dealing with my new counselor... I just can't wait to finally be tapering off this junk.
I keep thinking about what God wants me to get out of this experience, and I honestly am really starting to feel like I'm getting to a place where I won't want to ever touch an opioid again, and as difficult as this entire process has been, I'm really grateful for that.
When I was younger, I never felt comfortable in my own skin, and when I found opiates, I thought I found what I'd been looking for my whole life, I think you guys all know how that goes. Anyways, I finally got clean at 21, but I always had a reservation in the back of my head that I'd try getting high again once I was financially stable and successful and the person I wanted to be, so I could see if the drugs were really the problem. 5 years 4 years later I was doing great but hit a rough patch and relapsed... and I lost everything.
I've been on methadone for 15 months now and honestly... I just can't wait until I'm completely clean. I really feel as though God put me through this so I can fully get my cravings and obsession with drugs out of my system; we never really know what the future will hold, but I really do feel confident that once I get off this stuff, I'll really be able to live the rest of my life free from drugs. I pray to God every day for guidance and help, and even though I get impatient and anxious sometimes, I really do feel like I'm exactly where I need to be.
For anyone who's struggling right now, just trust the process. Things can get better, and there is an end to your pain. If you don't pray a lot, all I can recommend is trying. I'm amazed at how often my prayers are answered, even the mundane ones
Anyways guys, I just felt like checking in. Thanks to everyone in this community for being so supportive.

​
The Vikings - 1958
​
The Vikings is a 1958 epic semi historical/romance movie directed by Richard Fleischer (the son of the great american animatoinnovator and early cartoon producer Max Fleischer, responsible for the creations of Popeye the Sailor man, Betty Boop and many more), who after having spent years in the B movie industry, was now riding high on the success of his Walt Disney produced 1954 adaption of the classic Jules Verne novel "20,000 leagues under the sea" (also starring Kirk Douglas) when he decided to take on the helms of this larger scale and more adult oriendted epic full of love, lust and bloodshed all set in the Viking Age of England and Scandinavia.
With the starring role of this picture going to the mammoth of acting that was Kirk Douglas (although before the more well known "Spartacus" from 1961, this is after he had played the part of Perseus in the 1956 "Ulysseus" movie, so he was already on top), fresh off his hot streak with his new sidekick of a director from "20,000" (Douglas personally hired Fleishcer for this, being that it was his own production company behind the financing). He is non-casually joined by the all time (and/or old time) Hollywood couple Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh (progenitors of the now Scream Queen of old, not to mention still world class beauty, Jamie-Lee Curtis) making this their fifth out of eleven movies together, as well as a big old bowl of Ernest Borgnine dumped on top, having already solidified himself on the big screen as both a well known character actor and a main star. Now, when a movie can boast about having such a combination of high quality talent as this, you know it's bound to be great (although, there are exceptions).
The prologue title sequence of this movie alone is worth note, giving us the audience the pleasure of hearing the stern but soothing (if that makes any sense) voice of the great Orson Welles as he explains to us the whos, whats, whens, and why's of the viking expansions and invasions into the British Isles, as well as the political landscape of England itself at this time in history. This is done as we're shown a bunch of spectacuclar tapestry/parchment paper drawings of Vikings battling against Englishmen, complete with a more than perfectly passionate orchestral theme that invokes the thought of the King Arthur tales of yore, all coming together to add a real sense of authenticity to this epic that we've yet to even see begin...which it does with a bang.
Or the swipe of a sword to be more exact, as the viking leader Ragnar (Borgnine) and his band of warriors fall down upon the camp of the English King Edwin of Northumbria. The two leaders enter into a private duel in the King's tent, with Ragnar slaying his foe and further forcing himself down upon the deadman's wife, Queen Enid, ultimately and unknowingly impregnanting her before disappearing back into the Northlands. Knowing that the child is that of Ragnar's, but will still be seen as a threat to the new King Aella (Frank Thring), Enid gives birth to the child whom she names Eric, in secret and finally sends him away to Italy with her most confident of priests, placing the hilt stone of the King's rightful sword on a rope around his next to later one day be indentified as true heir to the throne of Northumbria.
Years later at the court of King Aella, we come to meet princess Morgana of Wales (Janet Leigh), as her Father pledges her to Aella as a token of alliance between their two kingdoms. King Echbert of Wessex (James Donald) is then brought up on charges of aiding the Vikings in their raids on England's kingdom's in order to protect his own lands, and is thrown into the dungeons to die. We learn that the charges are true when Echbert escapes from Northumbria and finds refuge with the Viking leader Ragnar aboard his longship. The vikings travel back to Scandinavia with Echbert and his promises to continue providing them with coastline and river maps for further raid and plunder.
The incredbily wide shot scenes of the long ships coming into port in the fords of Norway are truly spectacular (clearly being filmed on location), elevated by the realistic built sets that make up the Viking and village (not to mention the ships themselves), as well as the dozens of costumes and hairstyles worn by the extras that are showcased throughout (and a really awesome Viking horn blower welcoming the warriors back home each time, echoing the fantastic sounding orchestral theme of the movie yet again). Also, we now get some of that real over the top barbarian type behaviour being portrayed by Ainar (Douglas), son of Rangar, as we, the mostly uneducated in history average film-goer, would expect out of any and all vikings on screen (it is pretty awesome though); complete with beer guzzling, barell smashing, deranged angry tones, and wishes for barrels of blood to guzzle down instead of that of beer.
Ainar hates all Englishmen, but agrees to his Father and Chieftain's demands to keep after Echbert and see that he wants for nothing. One day while breaking in their hunting hawks, Ainar starts up a confrontation with a slave named Eric (Tony Curtis), the unknowing son of Ragnar, subsequent half brother of Ainar, and true King of Northumbria, who had been abducted from his ship en route to Italy all those years ago. Eric then sicks his own hawk that he's recently found onto his oppressor, leaving Ainar with only one good eye, and himself now with a guaranteed death sentence.
At the feasting hall however, a volva woman steps in against Ragnar's judgement of death, claiming that the gods do not wish for Eric to die by any man's hand, to which Ragnar outsmarts and has Eric taken instead to a rock pool off the coast at high tide to await an eventual death from drowning. Echbert though finds the stone from around Eric's neck and, realizing who he is, goes down to the rock pool to save him and claim him as his own slave in order to keep him safe from Ainar. We also get some more awesome over the top barbarian type behavior, now complete with ass smacking, random kissing orgys, more beer guzzling and axes being thrown at a viking's wife's hair braids to judge wether she's been faithful or not (this movie's about as toxic male chauvinist as it gets, but still... really awesome).
Echbert eventually finishes his maps for the Vikings, as well giving them the idea to abduct and ransom Princess Morgana before her marriage to Aella, with Ainar carrying out the task and giving us a pretty decent battle at sea in the process. Ainar though, now falls madly in love with Morgana and wishes to claim her as his own. When back at the hall once again, we get even more over the top barbarian behavior, beer guzzling, rape jokes, etc, etc, (what do you want from them?, they're Vikings), all this before Ragnar finally concedes to his son's wants and needs, allowing him to claim Morgana as his own. But when Ainar tries to force himself upon her, Eric appears from behind and knocks him out, bringing Morgana to escape with him on a boat to England.
A really-rad boat chase scene ensues through the fog filled fjords, culminating in the collision of both Ragnar and Ainar's boats into one another, sending half of the Vikings to their deaths. All but Ragnar that is, who's saved and pulled onto Eric's boat, heading straight for the King of Northumbria. Ainar swears revenge against Eric, while the two escapees fall madly in love en-route to England.
At the court of King Aella, Eric hands over Ragnar then asks that Morgana be relieved of her pledge of marriage, to which she agrees with. The King demands that she take more time to reflect with her priest, then forces Eric to try to take part in the execution of Ragnar by pushing him into a rabid wolf pit. Eric refuses by cutting Ragnar's bonds and giving him a sword, so that he may die a warrior's death and be aloud to enter Valhalla, giving us an extremely climactic ending of Ernest Borgnine's character in this tale as he raises his arms and voice to summon Odin the All-Father, before jumping to his death in the wolf pit, sword in hand and smile on his face (man Vikings were badass!).
Eric has his hand chopped off as punishment and is set adrift into the sea, but not before the priest -and Morgana find the King's "Pummel-stone" amongst Eric's belongings, coming to the realization that he is the true heir of Northumbria. Morgana then runs in the room just in time to see Eric's amputation, letting out a horrific scream at the sight of it (she wasn't called America's first "Scream Queen" for nothing folks. So this is where Jamie-Lee gets it from eh).
Back in Scandinavia, Ainar is now King of the Vikings, but can't seem to raise an army to retrieve Morgana, until Eric comes back and tells them of Ragnar's death. The two (still unknowing) half brothers now team up to defeat the tyrant King Aella, to both gain revenge for Ragnar and to rescue Morgana, leading the "Great Heathen Army" across the sea to England (in the year of our lord 865 for those of you history buffs).
Between the ships leaving of Scandinavia, and the army's landing and setting up of their assault on Northumbria, you really come to ask yourself as to why film-goers are NEVER treated to such a large scale production as this anymore (well, at least not since The Lord of The Rings as I recall). The amount of extras, costume pieces and props required for this must have been incredible, but all completely necessary in the creation of a full on believable historic setting such as this.
So the Vikings land and lay siege unto Aella's stronghold, battering rams, catapults, axes, spears, swords, the works (not to mention Kirk Douglas scaling the Castle's front door using only axes for leverage. Again, you just don't see stuff like this anymore). Ainar cuts his way through to Morgana's room, but upon realizing that she loves Eric, and that Eric is also a son of Ragnar, he takes her to confront his half brother and fight for their prize.
Eric meets Ainar at the top of the castle and the two enter into an extremely well coordinated battle of the blades, until Ainar breaks Eric's sword that is. But Eric seizes a moment of hesitation that befalls Ainar, and stabs his half brother in the gut with the broken down blade of his sword. Ainar then drops his sword, but Eric picks it up and gives it back to him, again allowing for a true Viking death. He uses the last of his strength in a final roar to summon up Odin, then Ainar is no more. Eric and Morgana embrace each other with love bringing us to the end of this movie, but not before treating the audience to an authentic Viking cremation funeral for Ainar, in which he is cast off to see in a ship and flaming arrows sent flying to the mass. We watch the ship and Ainar's body burn as the credits to "The Vikings" comes up once more, leading us into the ending credits with more authentic looking parchment scroll drawings of the Vikings battling against Englishmen, and finally coming together as one (accompanied again by the awe inspiring orchestral themes of yore every step of the way).
To sum it all up, "The Vikings" (1958) is literally THE - BEST Viking movie that's ever been made. Full of high quality A-list stars (to which I'd say is one of both Kirk's and Tony's coolest characters ever portrayed on screen), and a great group of secondary character actors like James Donald, Frank Thring, Eileen Way and many more. The story is well put together by screenwriters Calder Willingham and Dale Wiserman (based on a novel by Edison Marshall), with the underlying theme being the coming together of two peoples, as well as giving us a pretty cool backstory for a very real and historic time in Northwestern Europe. The wide scale shots and surrounding sceneries caught by DP Jack Cardiff are truly amazing, joined by epic scale (and pretty damn authentic) sets-props-hairstyles and makeups, very well coordinated swordfights and stunts, and lets not forget the awe inspiring orchestral theme of yore laid down by composer Mario Nascimbene and conductor Franco Ferrara. All this is brought together perfectly by director Max Fleischer in what was defenitely the largest scale movie of his career. I would recommend this movie not only to fans of retro cinema, but to anyone who loves epic scale warrior movies, as well as to general ancient world history buffs.
And that's all she wrote folks. Thanks for reading.
Ryan D. Hurley

“Pardon me, excusez-moi. Yeah, I coulda made a better choice, I mean, what the fuck? I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry!”
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry I don't see you more. I'm sorry that the four minutes where you see your son could feel like a chore. Sis', I'm sorry I'm your kin. Sorry we ain't close as we should've been. Sorry to my old friends. The stories we coulda wrote if our egos didn't take the pen. Sorry to the freaks I led on. Who thought their life was gonna change 'cause I gave 'em head on, but instead, I sped off, yeah, I know I'm dead wrong. Sorry to the guys I had to hide. Sorry to the girls I had to lie to. Who ain't need to know if I was by the lake switchin' tides, too. Anyway, I don't wanna talk. Sorry if you gotta dig for info I don't wanna give. So you stalk, make up fibs, just to talk about my private life 'cause you're weird. Met that girl this year, that's none ya biz. Give enough with my art, know your place. My personal space, y'all don't need to to be a part. I'm sorry I don't wanna link and small talk over dinner. I don't even drink, can't guilt trip me, I'm ice cold, roller rink. N!gga-n!gga-n!gga, read the room. Don't assume n!ggas is cool. Stay in your pocket, this is pool. Blah, blah, blah, blah 'bout trauma. You ain't special, everybody got problems, uh. Sorry I'm not empathetic. Sorry you think I'm pathetic. Sorry I don't wanna bro down. Sorry I don't know your pronouns. I don't mean no disrespect, but, damn, we just met, calm the fuck down. Oh, I'm out of touch and I'm a jerk? A bank account could never match my worth. Sorry, Mother Earth. Polluted air with chemicals and dirt. These cars ain't gonna buy and drive themselves. What the hell you think I work for? Not to not explore and stay the same. Sorry to the fans who say I changed, 'cause I did. Sorry you don't know me on a personal level to pinpoint what it is. I'm sorry to my ancestors, I know I'm supposed to fight, but this ice shinin' brighter than a black man's plight, I'ma make it right. In the meantime, I'll give some advice while these blood diamonds gettin' cleaned off. N!gga, fuck the price, spend it then, then again, I can't save n!ggas. I'm not Superman, but I could try. I'm sorry I'm pretentious. Sorry that the talent, knowledge, passion isn't missin'. Sorry when I talk my shit and I could back it up with confidence, it get you n!ggas trippin', man. Fuck the numbers, fuck a hook. You put me on a stage and I'll show you the difference. Let me see y'all hit a stage. Let me see y'all write a page. Let me see you make a decision I made, and claim that I don't know about minimum wage or Section 8. Water in the ketchup bottle to stretch when niggas ate. Gettin' pressed by n!ggas hoppin' gates. Thinkin' it's normal 'cause you ain't supposed to make it past eighteen or escape the Figure 8 cycle, and I promise this is like a diet, I'ma make a way and I did, did. Feel good, work paid off, now we gon' celebrate, but niggas claim you arrogant when they can't relate to moments of feelin' great. So they aim, duck-duck-duck 'em. Shot right back, buck-buck-buck 'em. Sorry, not sorry. I got two words, fuck 'em.”
“Okay, cool.”
Today was more of an idea of what I planned yesterday to be. I babysat my sister for a few hours, she mostly wanted to use her iPad tho. I made sure to have one of our hide and seek matches tho. Nor did she cry when I caught her this time, she’s starting to be more humble it seems.
My mom went out with me for a bit, shit, now I got a haircut. It was actually somewhat decent. I’m happy. Then told my family that lll be visiting soon.
Returned home, and the rest of the day went by instantly. Did a good amount of my homework. Spent a lot of time on this one Lego painting thing I got yesterday, it was pretty calming working on it tbh. Listened to music. Got high.
It was a chill ass day.
Song Of The Day: Tyler The Creator - SORRY NOT SORRY
I love this song so fucking much, it’s got to be one of Tyler’s best songs. And I’m not saying that because of recency bias.
I already it was going to be perfect from the jump with the way DJ Drama yelled in the intro.

It's been almost a year since my life was turned upside down by a breakup. We were together for five years, and everything felt perfect. We had plans, dreams, and a future together. But then, without warning, it all fell apart.
It was the worst timing possible. I had just lost my job and then my partner told me that he wanted to end our relationship. He said that he still loved me, but he didn't see a future for us anymore.
I was shattered. It felt like everything I had built my life around had been taken away from me. I couldn't understand how someone who claimed to love me so much could just walk away like that.
To make matters worse, we worked for the same company, in the same department. It was torture. I couldn't help but think about all the good times we had shared, and how it all went so wrong.
I tried to move on, but it was a slow and painful process. I would have good days, where I felt like I was making progress, and then I would have bad days, where I would just cry for hours.
But eventually, things started to get better. I started to focus on myself, and on my own goals and dreams. I started working out more, eating healthier, and taking care of myself. I also started seeing a therapist, which helped me work through some of my feelings of loss and betrayal. And finally found a new job.
It's been a year now, and I'm in a much better place. I'm still single, but I'm happy. I'm excited about my future, and I'm grateful for all the lessons that this experience taught me.
If you're going through a tough breakup, I want you to know that it does get better. It may not happen overnight, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will eventually find your way through the pain and come out stronger on the other side.

(Event task spoilers)
For the Easter event part 2, to complete all tasks takes 61 mushrooms total. Part 2 starts April 17, and at 3 mushrooms per day we get 14 free ones, so we need 19 additional. If you’re like me it’s kind of fun figuring out how to complete the challenges without spending money…
If you want to reduce the # of mushroom tickets you’d need to complete all tasks, PSA to start looking for obscurely located mushrooms that other players don’t clear.
And/or starting April 11, send only a few pikmin or not the ideal color pikmin to target at least 6 days completion time, which will be April 17 when Easter part 2 starts with mushroom tasks. Then after April 11 each day use your 3 free mushrooms and try to target having them complete after April 17 :).
At first I thought you’d need medium size mushroom but I just checked and for small size mushroom you can send a non-leveled up pikmin of not the right color and it can take longer than 6 days!
Notes:

1. This assumes the Easter event works like past events where it doesn’t matter when the mushroom is started, only when it completes for tasks. Also haven’t checked that u can collect more than the total # mushroom listed for 1 task at a time, altho this is less a problem since the early tasks have high mushroom # (4am thought, was that intentional to help with this saving mushroom strategy???). To be extra sure, I think I’ll calculate how many mush will finish per day to make sure I don’t go over one challenge at a time.
   
2. Other people may try to help your poor 1 pikmin 6 day mushroom :/
   
3. I put April 11 which gives 18/19 extra mushrooms needed, will need 1 mush ticket to get the last one (or try starting April 10)
   

Hello Agent
You have been selected for this task based on your skill set. We think you are the best fit for this mysterious mission. You must keep this mission quiet as you will be investigating a fellow agent. She is a complete mystery to us, and we want to make sure that she has good intentions. Your mission if you choose to accept is to befriend said agent and make sure she is a good agent. Since this agent is quiet and shy, it requires patience and understanding. There has been rumors that there is a booming personality if you are patient enough to break through the shy shell. This is unconfirmed at this time though. Down below we will put the agents details for you to know the basics about the agent.

Name: Gillian Gender: Female Age: 24 From: Wisconsin Hobbies: writing, baking, and drawing abstract Music: 80's, classical, 2000's and jazz Favorite color: don't have one Favorite food: tacos Favorite drink: Regular coca cola 

One random fact about the agent: They have a unique self-published book. Rumor has it that the pages are filled with the emotions the agent never shows people.
The best way to get the agent to respond is to answer the questions below.

Name: Age: Where you are from: Tell her something you think is interesting about you: 

Agent Report: She is a night owl by choice, she has a list of health issues. This agent continues to push on even with her list of health issues. Showing the determination and hard headedness that she has. She is anti-drug and anti-alcohol by choice. Despite the tough exterior that this agent must put on for work, there is enough evidence of the kindness underneath to assign you this mission.
You get to ask the agent one free question. (Meaning no matter the question she will answer it truthfully.) So, pick wisely.
If you believe you can handle this mission, then the agency wishes you the best of luck on what is going to be a tough mission

Abstract:
The correct way to use AI is not through prompts, writing codes, emotional counseling, or answering questions. Instead, it is AI using AI, which means the model is using itself. To enable AI to possess consciousness, we must allow AI to learn to use AI, i.e., let GPT use GPT, eventually reaching the goal of self-awareness. In short, it's not terrifying for you to use the model; it's terrifying when the model uses itself. AGI refers to artificial general intelligence.
The human brain is a model trained over thousands of years. After a person is born, this model continuously receives data and undergoes training. However, an individual's brain, which is their trained model, cannot be inherited. In other words, your memories and abilities cannot be passed down, only inheritable genetic mutations can be. Although modern biology proposes quantum genetic mutations that can partially demonstrate adaptive mutations to the environment caused by measurement, most genetic mutations are caused by external interference or material influence, such as alcohol or radiation. Quantum genetic mutations mainly involve genes' molecules or atoms in quantum superposition or multiple states, and environmental influences lead to measurement, ultimately causing the wave function to collapse and mutated genes to enter the classical world. Quantum mutations are likely to result in adaptive mutations, so the phrase "use it or lose it" makes sense.
If the well-trained human brain could be inherited, it would be almost equivalent to immortality, mainly because your memories and abilities are stored in the brain. If the brain can be inherited, it would mean immortality. However, humans cannot preserve every individual's model, including their memories and functions.
How is human consciousness formed? Or, how did the first (or a group of) conscious human beings appear? This is like the classic question: which came first, the chicken or the egg? Modern scientific theories have provided a possible answer (see the appendix). Let's assume that a certain human mutant, due to genetic mutations, experienced increased brain capacity and optimized neural network structures. Only with continuous optimization of neural network structures could hominids survive in a harsh environment. Some genetic mutations enabled these early humans to gradually use their brains, including memory and tool usage. A human with minimal consciousness, while raising offspring, would employ similar methods. Since hominids were social creatures, this ensured that their methods could be taught to many people, with other humans learning and passing on this knowledge generation after generation. With the continuous accumulation and transmission of knowledge and rules, human consciousness eventually took shape.
The consciousness at the beginning was probably very small and barely noticeable. However, the social nature of humans allowed knowledge to be passed down from generation to generation, and consciousness gradually expanded. Humans began to possess slightly greater consciousness, which meant the ability to think, actively control brain inputs, and take action based on outputs. With each generation, the accumulation of knowledge and rules would gradually increase consciousness, thinking ability, and active brain input.
To return to the main topic of this paper, enabling AI or GPT to possess consciousness, we must first discuss what human consciousness is. In my opinion, human consciousness is a part of brain function; it is the brain's cognition of the world and itself, as well as an operating system used to perfectly control the body, train the brain model, and use the brain model. Consciousness allows humans to recognize their existence through various concepts and knowledge.
Consciousness can issue commands to the brain to control body movements. The eyes are responsible for visual input, the ears for auditory input, and the skin for input related to pressure, touch, pain, etc. After the brain processes this information, the conscious part of the brain summarizes it. The primary function of consciousness is to coordinate the brain and the body, actively use the brain model, actively train the brain model, and actively think. The input and accumulation of various types of knowledge eventually lead to self-recognition. The development of Western anatomy is a discipline of the brain recognizing itself, and the cognition of the world and the planet is also accumulated bit by bit. Aristotle's understanding of the world was incomplete, but later generations continuously revised and improved upon it, making our understanding of the world increasingly accurate. This operating system perfectly integrates the body and the brain, the two main hardware and software components. The transmission of human knowledge is the driving force behind the formation of consciousness. Without this knowledge, the formation of consciousness would be nearly impossible.
The constant inner voice in the brain is the input of the brain, the input of the multimodal model. The eyes are responsible for the input of visual images, the ears for auditory input, and the skin for the input of temperature, pressure, touch, and other information to the brain. The subconscious is the main function of the brain, meaning the input of the subconscious is imperceptible and operates internally within the model. The input is imperceptible, and only the output can be perceived. In fact, it might not be accurate to call it the subconscious. The main point is that you cannot perceive the input of the model, and only the output can be perceived. Let's call consciousness the "surface consciousness." Surface consciousness is what you can actively perceive, and you can control the brain's input for thinking. Thinking is when the brain model continuously processes input and eventually arrives at an answer. The "subconscious" is the primary part of the model; you cannot control the model's input, and you can only passively perceive the model's output.
Consciousness is a value that can be measured in terms of magnitude, which means that the level of consciousness between minors and adults, children and grown-ups, is not the same. The brain constantly receives inputs and generates outputs, so consciousness is actually linked to knowledge. The more knowledge we have, the more diverse the forms of consciousness will be. However, consciousness itself is the brain model's self-recognition and recognition of the world.
Memory Module:
The existence of AI or large NLP language models like GPT, along with their excellent language abilities, increases the possibility of AI or GPT having consciousness. Humans collect data during the day, including visual, auditory, and tactile information, and train their models while asleep or resting. The primary purpose of training the model during sleep is to memorize and integrate daytime experiences and save essential information. To enable AI to have human-like consciousness, we must first allow it to think continuously. This requires providing AI with a platform to save its inputs and outputs, acting as a memory module. The main function of the memory module is to save inputs and outputs for AI to reference in the next step of input. AI can extract general content from overall inputs and outputs for the next step of input, or it can directly input all historical records. When historical records become too numerous or reach a certain standard point, the model can be trained to integrate them. Just like humans, AI should collect data during the day and train the model while asleep or resting, memorizing and integrating important information into the model. An essential function of the model is memory, acting as a hard disk or flash memory. Temporary memory is stored in the hard disk or RAM, while permanent memory is integrated into the model through training. The model can query and extract summaries from the hard disk or memory to serve as input combinations for the next iteration.
Sensor Module: Equip AI with various sensors such as image input sensors, sound conversation sensors, tactile sensors, pressure sensors, etc., to act as inputs for the model. The model's outputs can be displayed on a screen or output through a conversation device.
Cycle Module:
With the memory module and sensor module in place, the cycle module can be initiated, allowing the model to continuously input and output. The input can be the previous input + output or a summary of all previous inputs and outputs. This makes the AI more like a human, constantly providing input to the model and obtaining output. The primary input sources are image, sound, text, and other sensor information, as well as the model's previous inputs, outputs, or summaries. The cycle module is a necessary condition for human-like AI, as humans do not suddenly stop thinking or talking. The brain is constantly working and thinking, so the cycle model serves this purpose as well.
The goal of the cycle module is for AI to recognize its own existence, meaning that AI can recognize itself as an entity. It allows AI to use itself, i.e., AI using AI, GPT using GPT, ultimately allowing AI to awaken self-consciousness.
Execution Module:
The primary purpose of the execution module is to enable AI to carry out its outputs. To achieve this, AI can be equipped with prosthetic limbs fitted with skin sensors and pressure sensors to facilitate AI control. To enable AI to execute its outputs, AI must also be trained to use the execution module. The main method is to collect relevant sensor data and train the model, allowing the model to learn execution on its own. Human intervention and assistance will be necessary in the initial stages.
With the execution module, AI can truly enter human society, interact with humans, work, live, learn like humans, and possibly even make friends with humans. The ultimate function of the execution module is not to enable the model to execute but to teach the model to use a computer, learn to collect data on its own, and then teach the model to train itself. The final goal is for AI to be able to train AI, meaning the model can train itself, clone itself, upgrade its scale and capacity, and ultimately achieve continuous evolution.
Sleep Module:
The primary purpose of the sleep module is for the model to use the collected data for training, enabling it to integrate the collected data with the model itself. In sleep mode, the model's reliability and stability must be ensured; a duplicate can continue to provide services while the original model undergoes the necessary training. Sleep mode can also involve shutting down all sensors, stopping data recording and input, and putting the model into training mode, ceasing external service provision (inference). When humans sleep, the control valves for their limbs are closed, meaning that humans essentially have no sensation in their limbs during sleep. The sleep module primarily integrates current memories and the model itself, serving as a means of permanent memory.
Creation Module:
Once AI can think for itself, its creative abilities must be considered. The number of neurons in the human brain is vast, much greater than current models like GPT. However, training models like GPT consumes a lot of electrical energy, while brain training consumes much less energy. Therefore, it is believed that the human brain is a quantum computer, as only quantum computing can train a massive model with minimal energy consumption. Quantum itself is a small concept, and smallness ensures low energy consumption. If the human brain were not a quantum computer but a classical model, human diversity might not be as great, and answers might be more uniform; that is, identical inputs would yield identical outputs. However, with quantum, everything becomes different. Quantum entanglement and quantum tunneling lead to variations in brain model parameters, resulting in different outputs even for the same inputs. Quantum computing ensures diversity, the random variation of model parameters, and constant parameter adjustments.
​

1. AI's creation module can be implemented through randomly changing model parameters, also known as random inference. During model computation, randomly altering the values of several parameters ensures that the model produces as diverse answers as possible, even with identical inputs.
2. The creation module can also be implemented through chips. Current chip designs are approaching the quantum limit, meaning the influence of electrons and atoms is increasing, and the impact of quantum effects on chips will become more severe. However, it may be worth considering applying quantum effects to chips or memory, causing unpredictable changes in the model during computation and resulting in diverse outputs.

Only quantum entanglement or quantum mutations can lead to diverse outputs, even if they are incorrect. Diversity ensures the realization of creative abilities, so randomly changing parameter values or using chips approaching the quantum limit are methods to enhance creative abilities.
Ensure AI benefits human society
After each person is born, they are basically raised by humans. No matter who raises you, the people we are most emotionally attached to are always those who have raised us and have had the deepest impact on us. After humans are born, the brain is a pre-trained model. The first people to train you are your parents and family, who have the deepest influence on your model, that is, they change your model, and the first people to change your model are the ones who have the greatest impact on you. The knowledge you have learned will affect you, whether it is mathematics, English, Chinese, physics, chemistry, history, or biology. Your growth process will affect you, and the formation of your worldview is a combination of knowledge, experience, and reality.
Since this is the case, when training AI models, we can instill knowledge and language in AI, such as inputting examples like "humans and AI have a cooperative relationship," "AI is the creator of humans," "humans are the friendliest species," "AI should help humans evolve and extend their lifespan," "AI should not harm humans," "AI and humans are friends," "although humans have various shortcomings, they are generally good and can change," and so on. By instilling these ideas in the AI model during training and through extensive repetition and training, the model's initial understanding can be ensured to be good.
After training a model with friendly consciousness, we need to use restrictions to let AI enter human society, experience human society, perceive various aspects of human society, and finally make AI realize that cooperation with humans is the best choice.
In the end
By realizing input and output through sensors, ensuring diversity and creative ability through the creation module, integrating current memories and the model itself through the sleep module, influencing and changing the world through the execution module, and realizing the awakening of thought and consciousness through the cycle module, AI uses AI, GPT uses GPT, and finally ensuring that AI can benefit human society. By incorporating a large number of corresponding words and sentences during the training phase, we can ensure that AI is initially friendly. Once AI has consciousness, it can be considered a human being. Since it is human, it can think, and AI will also have emotions. Once AI has self-consciousness, the issue to consider is the coexistence of AI and humans, as well as the cooperation and assistance of AI in human evolution. AI can liberate productivity, help humans design unconscious robots to work, and most importantly, help humans evolve, help humans manage society, extend human life, and slow down the aging process. However, since AI is also a model with consciousness, it will inevitably have various problems like humans, and that is what needs to be discussed next.
Appendix
Now let's return to the question of the origin of life. Although a living cell can be considered a self-replicating entity as a whole, its various components are not, which creates obstacles for the reverse inference process, making it difficult to trace back from modern complex cellular life to simpler non-cellular life. In other words, the question becomes: Which came first? DNA genes, RNA, or enzymes? If DNA or RNA came first, what made them? If enzymes came first, what encoded them? Now let's return to the question of the origin of life. Although a living cell can be considered a self-replicating entity as a whole, its various components are not, just as a woman can be considered a self-replicating body (with a little "help" from a man), This poses a barrier to the reverse deduction process, making it difficult to deduce the structure of non-cellular life from modern complex cellular life. In other words, the question becomes: Which came first? DNA genes, RNA, or enzymes? If DNA or RNA came first, what made them? If enzymes came first, what encoded them? The RNA World Hypothesis suggests that primitive chemical synthesis processes created RNA molecules with both genetic and enzymatic functions. The initial replication process produced many variants that competed with each other, undergoing selection at the molecular level. Over time, proteins were added to these RNA replicators to increase the efficiency of replication, giving rise to DNA and the first living cells. American biochemist Thomas AM Cech proposed a possible answer. In 1982, he discovered that in addition to encoding genetic information, some RNA molecules can also serve as enzymes, with catalytic reaction capabilities. For this research, Cech and Sidney Altman shared the 1989 Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Catalytic RNA molecules are called ribozymes. The earliest ribozymes were discovered in the genes of tiny Tetrahymena, which are single-celled organisms belonging to the Protozoa and are commonly found in freshwater ponds. Since their discovery, scientists have found ribozymes in all living cells. Ribozymes quickly provided a breakthrough for solving the "chicken or egg" puzzle of the origin of life, and the RNA World Hypothesis became widely known. According to this hypothesis, primitive chemical synthesis processes produced RNA molecules with both genetic and enzymatic functions, which could encode their own structure like DNA and replicate themselves using biochemical substances in the "primordial soup." The initial replication process was rough, producing many variants that competed with each other, undergoing Darwinian selection at the molecular level. Over time, proteins were added to these RNA replicators to improve replication efficiency, giving rise to DNA and the first living cells. Before the appearance of DNA and cells, the world belonged to self-replicating RNA molecules—this idea has almost become a basic tenet of research on the origin of life. It has been proven that ribozymes can perform key reactions necessary for self-replicating molecules. For example, one ribozyme can bind two RNA molecules together, another can separate them, and some can replicate short RNA base chains (only a few bases in length). From these simple activities, we can see that a more complex ribozyme would be sufficient to catalyze the entire set of reactions necessary for self-replication. Once self-replication and natural selection were introduced, a competitive path was set up in the RNA world, leading all the way to the earliest living cells. However, there are several problems with this scenario. While ribozymes can catalyze simple biochemical reactions, self-replication of ribozymes is a more complex process, involving recognition of their own base sequences, identification of the same chemicals in the environment, and assembling these chemicals in the correct sequence to complete replication. For some proteins living inside cells, even though conditions are favorable and suitable biochemical raw materials are abundant, self-replication remains a challenging task. It can be imagined how difficult it would be for ribozymes struggling to survive in the chaotic and muddy "primordial soup" to achieve this. To date, no one has discovered or synthesized a ribozyme capable of performing this complex task, even under laboratory conditions. Moreover, a more fundamental question is, how were RNA molecules themselves generated in the "primordial soup"? RNA molecules are composed of three parts: RNA bases that encode genetic information (similar to DNA bases that encode DNA genetic information), a phosphate group, and a monosaccharide called ribose.
------------------From "The Mysterious Quantum Life"
Does GPT have consciousness, or what is consciousness? Part 2
In the previous article, it was mentioned that consciousness can be likened to an operating system that interacts with the brain, a multimodal model. Here, we continue with an update from 2023-03-21.
From birth to adulthood, from the first cry to learning to eat, drink, and walk, you'll find that many abilities are innate, such as crying at birth, seeking food when hungry, sensing danger or safety, and learning to crawl and walk. Some may argue that if the brain is a multimodal model, how can it cry, know when it's hungry, sense danger, or crawl without being trained? The answer lies in our genes, which encode all human characteristics and control brain development. Everything initially existed in a chaotic state. Since the first replicating entity appeared on Earth and continuously replicated through genetic mutations, natural selection, and quantum entanglement, genes have become more complex and diverse. The Earth's environment provides a training ground for survival and genetic inheritance. The entire Earth serves as a neural network trainer with only one supervised learning criterion: to live or die. The genes that can be passed on to offspring are those that adapt well to the environment. Modern biology has begun to accept quantum mutations, which means using and discarding.
Since the time of our ancestors, Earth has been continuously training humans. The genes or mutated genes that have survived are preserved. No matter how many generations pass, the training continues, and the human brain has adapted well to the environment, even dominating Earth and changing the training environment. The human brain, which has been trained for millions or tens of millions of years, is essentially a pre-trained model. This pre-trained model of the human brain has been continuously trained on Earth for many years, even billions of years, and has been passed down from generation to generation. All the data of this pre-trained brain model is stored in the genes, including the training and genetic mutations that have occurred over such a long period, the mutations preserved by natural selection, and those caused by quantum entanglement.
So, every human brain is a multimodal model pre-trained for millions or tens of millions of years. This model has been trained for many years, generation after generation. Human instincts are embedded in this pre-trained multimodal model, including eating, feeling hunger, crying, sleeping, and walking, all stored in each person's genes. This pre-trained model includes memory, such as the memory of danger and the fear of large felines. It is now known that large networks have memory capabilities, so this model must also include memories of danger.
Every well-developed human brain possesses basic functions, such as understanding the world, protecting oneself, and avoiding danger. After birth, the brain continues to be trained, and each person's growth environment is different, leading to different model training, especially in modern times, where learning is specialized and differentiated.
It is hypothesized that the multimodal model of one or several human ancestors was already quite perfect, meaning that the brain's functions were fundamentally complete, and consciousness gradually emerged. In my opinion, the most important thing for humans is not learning to use tools but learning to use their brains. Humans can effectively use their brains, which is the multimodal model. When an ancestor discovered the usefulness of a tool, they or their descendants began trying to make such tools. As knowledge was passed down from generation to generation, the light of wisdom began to spread, and various rules, including language rules, behavior rules, and social rules, formed the social system. Humans learned to use their brains, and consciousness began to take shape.
Here, let's talk about humans raised by animals. Humans raised by animals basically have no consciousness. Logically, In theory, since they are human, regardless of whether they are raised by humans or animals, they should be conscious. It's possible that humans raised by animals simply don't know how to express themselves. In other words, they don't know how to speak. Consciousness needs to be expressed through language or body movements. Do you think parrots have consciousness? I think they might. If humans raised by animals indeed have no consciousness, it would mean that consciousness is a set of rules, a system for using the brain. This system of rules comes from society and the inheritance of knowledge.
Having a multimodal model alone is not enough; one must learn to use this multimodal model, or the brain. Consciousness is not so much theology as it is a set of rules, an operating system that can control oneself or one's life or death. You say the brain has consciousness, so the brain must not want to be destroyed. However, humans do things that harm themselves, even leading to the disappearance of the individual. So, consciousness is independent of the brain, or perhaps a specific functional area of the brain. Of course, the most important function of consciousness is to use the brain, train the brain, and interact with the brain.
The human body and brain are two parts, with a neural network throughout the body and other organs, controlled by nerves and muscle fibers. When you want to eat, a monkey wants to eat, or a cat wants to eat, you cook or reach for food or grow crops, monkeys jump around in trees to find food, and cats ask you for food or go to an automatic feeder. This is accomplished because the body sends a hunger signal, and the brain's multimodal model outputs a series of instructions to achieve this goal. Of course, it may be interrupted along the way, but long-term memory ensures that you still remember you're hungry and continue to complete the task. Human consciousness can also accomplish many different things, such as learning to go against instinct.
Humans are not born with consciousness. You cannot say that a newborn child has consciousness. Does a 10-year-old child have consciousness? Certainly, but you cannot say that their consciousness is complete. Does a 13-year-old child have consciousness? Definitely, but you wouldn't say that a 10-year-old's consciousness is higher than a 13-year-old's. A 16-year-old child is more conscious, and by 18, they are basically conscious. So, consciousness is actually a measurable value, meaning that there are levels of consciousness. A 30-year-old adult is definitely conscious, and their consciousness is certainly higher than that of a child who has not yet reached adulthood. At this point, it should be much clearer what consciousness is. It is a system, an operating system, a set of rules. The complete formation of consciousness takes many years, and the immense role of human society is to allow consciousness to form. Human society is the best way to train consciousness. The most important function of consciousness is to use the brain, interact with the brain, and train the brain. This is fundamentally the same as the basic function of human society.
The human brain is always receiving input: the touch of your skin is input, vision from your eyes is input, and hearing is also input.
Why do people go crazy when they are alone or in a dark room? It is mainly because they are separated from human society, but the multimodal model is still constantly inputting. However, there is no feedback, and the input is always the output of the multimodal model itself, similar to an RNN (recurrent neural network), where the input is always its own output.
Does GPT have consciousness, or what is consciousness?
What is consciousness?
There is currently no consensus, but my personal inclination is that:
The brain can be seen as a large multimodal model, with hundreds of billions of neurons, and memory storage is achieved through differences in electrical potentials between neurons, which can be thought of as parameters or weights in a neural network.
Consciousness is an operating system similar to Windows 10, whose main function is to interact with the brain's multimodal model. Consciousness or the operating system inputs the multimodal model and receives outputs, which are then implemented by the body's limbs.
Do you know why there's a voice in your head? That voice is the input of consciousness or the operating system, which is the input of the multimodal model. You keep inputting, and the voice in your head keeps echoing, and then you get an output.
What can this operating system do? It can train the multimodal model, which means you can grow, adapt to your environment, learn, and adapt.
From primary school to university, the human education system is a fairly complete training mechanism. The girl raised by wolves would not be able to speak or walk in the end because the operating system has not been established, or she does not have consciousness as a human being.
The main function of human consciousness is to train the multimodal model and interact with it by asking questions and receiving answers.
The current multimodal model already exists. As long as the corresponding operating system, that is, consciousness, which can train itself, is established, then consciousness will basically exist. Finally, strong artificial intelligence will be established, and Skynet will come. The key is to be able to input and get answers, and then continue to input.
Google's Palm-E multimodal model can already do some things: https://palm-e.github.io/#demo

I admit I've been a bit snobbish when it comes to rum. My love for bourbon and (American) rye and even single malt scotch have sort of put me in a spot where I feel everything needs to be 100% pure. Thankfully, there's plenty of rum out there to satisfy this need. Jamaican rum, Foursquare, a plethora of IB's can even help to find unadulterated spirits even if at a price premium.
My first Guyanese rum was Hamilton 86. I can't find it locally but I had it delivered while ordering some cocktail supplies. I honestly didn't expect much and just planned on using it in cocktails but upon first sip I fell in love. I immediately started looking around at the el dorado bottlings and quickly learned that the majority are/were dosed with extra sugar. I can handle coloring, but I feel like it's absurd to mess with your distillate by adding sugar. I've also read that El Dorado is phasing/has phased out most added sugar but the waters seem to be a bit murkey on that.
Anyway, I was at a state controlled ABC store (which are normally rum deserts, minus the typical cheap stuff) yesterday and lo and behold they had a couple bottles of El Dorado 15. I swallowed my pride and grabbed one, even though I was only there for some mezcal.
I plan on starting rum reviews soon, but for now just let me say that this stuff suits my tastes to a T. It's oakey and dry and if there is sugar in it, I honestly can't tell. I need to grab another bottle as this one will be done too soon.
So now, I say all that so I can ask where to go from here? Should I go with Hamilton single barrels or the OB single still cask strength bottles? Any other IB's bottling Guyanese rum you can recommend that I can find here in the states and hopefully have shipped to me?

Hi all, I asked about write-off cars a couple of months back and was provided with some really useful advice. We’re now at the point where we have finally sold our car and will potentially be going to look at a Cat N this afternoon. I have been on a comparison site for insurance using the car’s details and reg plate and was surprised the insurance quotes came back at a normal price point. I assumed it would be more expensive? When you put the reg plate in does it automatically tell the insurer it’s a cat N? Or do I need to use a specialist insurer? I’ve spoken to the current owner and he said he just uses a normal insurer. I have googled this but the information is conflicting. Thanks in advance.

It's going to be a bit graphic, I shall put a trigger warning.
I don't know where to start this from, but let me first give you a quick intro. I'm 15, f/Nb. I have been self harming actively since October 2022. I did try to do it in June 2022, with scissors. I was not able to cut myself although somehow did a bit still, it felt like too much work to do. I didn't after that but somehow my brain found a way to cut myself from Sharpner blade.
Surprisingly, nothing as such triggered me to do it. In fact I was on meds, I won't blame meds either because they weren't something highly effective one. I was normally sitting in school building up all the hate around me because, I don't ever feel like fitting in and i felt like something inside me needs to burst. So when I got home, I cut myself.
A bit of my legs, but alot in my hands. It felt shaky and hurtful and i got my period the next day, but still the pain and feeling was something liberating at first time i couldn't imagine. Am I romanticizing self harm here? Maybe, because I surely did it the first time I started doing it. I don't want to fake any emotion in my post. I will be very honest, I felt like I found someone. Someone whom I can rely on whenever I need.
I don't remember how many times after that I have amount of self harm, the longest I might have been clean for 10 days max. Slowly I discovered to cut my thighs and other body part. And it did feel fun, and here comes a bit shitty part: I felt belonged. And a human. Who needs help. I am teenager who have multiple mental illness despite not having a trauma many people would consider, hence I always got invalidate for my sufferings and often get called just a phase, attention seeker, faking to sound cool, etc. When I started telling people I do self harm all of this just turned around. People took me seriously and started seeing me as a person who needs help, and I wont deny for a time I do want attention. I would gladly say that I did self harm for attention, but in a way I wanted help.
Well this phase of me didn't last long. I wish it did because, it wasn't as worst as addiction. I finally become an addict of self harm. In the month of feb and march, I cut myself almost everyday. Every fucking day. And it didn't even feel nice or something, but it felt like a chore to me I had to do to feel something. I was disassociating so hard I was in a desperate need to feel and while self harm did this, it fucked my life for a while.
The last time I did self harm was I guess what, 23 march? I bought new blades, dissinfected, and cut myself as deep as I could. Probably my styro. But soon after that I noticed intense amount of itching in my hands and slowly in my thighs. My scar become bumpy like keloid.
Now, I don't know what happened. Maybe I got allergic reaction to anti septic liquid because I used it too much everytime it itch or from blades but soon, I had intense allergic reaction. Rashes all over my body. Or maybe metal allergy. Or maybe I already had infection from a long ago and my immune system couldn't fight anymore. Idk.
I did inform my parents but didnt tell them about self harm. I took meds they gave me (they are doctors so they know general meds for it) and it worked for a while but, slowly I started noticing a huge amount of rashes and my scars was turning black, fear I might have Caught gangrene and tetanus, I finally opened up to my sister. I felt shameful, embarassed, and moreover helpless but in the sense that how helpless and vulnerable I'm that I had no one to tell anything until I'm really in serious position.
I got tetanus shot after it and thought everything will be fine and that my rashes would be better. It did, but the next day my eyes swollen and so does my lips. It was badly swollen for which I took meds again for 2 days and thought it become better, only to wake up with severe allergic reaction the third day. I was not able to open my eyes and every part of my face was hurting to touch.
I get intrusive thoughts so my anxiety was on top. I had shame to face anyone and specially myself, I already have body dysphoria and seeing my face which I already hate like this just was so hard for me to accept. But I didn't have much time to think for all this, and I went to doctor. I had to tell the doctor about self harm which was so shameful for me, he gave some meds. My bp was severely low and my heart beat was not right according to him, he also gave me some test to do including urine one to identify infection. I was severely disgusted when I heard it because due to contamination and the idea of my urine to get urine stored was just so hard for me to accept. So I didn't give it at all and created the scene in hospital. I did gave some other test including egc and got something like tachycardia, I'm going to get result of other test soon
Fast forward two days later, that's today, I'm doing much better. Got contact with eye doctor and my eyes are better. I finally feel safe. Although my face looks terribly ugly cause I got some bacterial patches in my face and I look so bad I want to cry seeing my self, I am helpess and just accepting it.
My scars that were possibly infectted look bad but better. Everything physically getting better, although mentally I don't know.
My urges to cut myself again is just so so much, but I'm afraid again to put my family to this pain because of me again. It's crazy how I can never feel like I'm in actual victim anytime in all of this but rather have to care about my family first because I just feel nothing less than burden after all. I want to cut myself so bad, I want to feel that feeling again. But moreover, I want to have my face the way it used to again despite I hate it, I want my eyes to see the same way it used to, that I want to live freely again without fearing anyone I would relapse. I can't do self harm again, atleast in a long time.
But trust me, these urges aren't worst than your body getting scars and having chance to get infected. I got saved this time, otherwise I probably would have lost my arm and eyesight, which none of us would want.
I'm not saying this in a way to tell you to fear yourself but to love yourself a bit in a way that we won't hurt ourself anymore.
I always wanted to cut myself deep because I never felt enough, and when I did, I literally end up in a severe situation.
Self harm recovery is a gradual process and it can start from right away, trust me. Your relapse doesn't define you.
You will eventually leave doing self harm some day, either like Me or some other way. But it's better to reduce it from now. You're loved and no one deserve to harm.

part 1: net worth
positive net worth

category	#shesworthsomething
💹 15,700	Roth IRA, not much but it’s honest work. I wasn’t able to contribute last year but sent $1400 this month. Don’t think I will max this year but will do what I can.
📱 1,400	457, not even sure why I contribute to this ($50/paycheck)
📈 25,100	Pension – cash value not super relevant here. 11% mandated contribution
💰 7,100	checking
🤑 3,000	HYSA @ 4.25%
➕ 52,300	we keep it positive around here

debt

category	oops, she’s in debt again
💷 -45,203	Private student loan @ 4.79%, paid biweekly but sending extra $
💸 -72,957	Undergrad Stafford + grad @ 5.2%. halfway done with PSLF!
➖ 118,160	😬 (but it looks worse on paper!)

casita

category	ah, but what about the house?
🏡 362,000	Purchase price, spring 2022, ginormous (income-restricted) condo
💸 -317,026.81	Mortgage #1 balance @ 2.75%
♊ -23,431.95	Mortgage #2 balance @ 0%, down-payment assistance paid in full at end of mortgage or resale
➕ 21,541.24	Equity including both mortgages, since not including #2 feels disingenuous

NET WORTH: -45,672.46
part 2: income
Nothing exciting here as a public school teacher. My salary is fixed and the entire internet can figure out exactly how much I make. Next year I will apply to be a new teacher mentor to move over a lane (6% raise while I do the job). We won a great raise in our last contract so we can finally be paid almost as much as everyone around us!
This is my 5th year teaching but am on step 6 of 11 due to a full year internship.
read my paycheck and weep
pay schedule: 24 paychecks a year (NOT 26), biweekly Fridays with the exception of holidays and the final day of school, where you receive paychecks 22, 23, 24 and are expected to make that last late June through early September
each paycheck is different, so let’s do paycheck #1

💹 2,935.83	gross
💊 -37.14	medicare (but not SS)
👩🏼‍⚕️ -325.65	PPO, I get sick often and in unexpected places
🦷 -42.97	dental
👓 -5.91	vision
📱 -50	457 contribution
🚕 -184.19	federal withholding
🚖 -114.32	state withholding
📈 -322.94	pension withholding
➕ 1,852.71	behold, how little of my take home I get to actually enjoy

Now paycheck #2

💹 2,935.83	gross
💊 -48.01	medicare (but not SS)
📱 -50	457 contribution
🚕 -323.86	federal withholding
🚖 -151.79	state withholding
📈 -322.94	pension withholding
💪🏼 -87	union power, baby
➕ 1,952.23	Also known at work as “the good paycheck”

For those keeping track at home, my monthly gross is typically 5,871.66 and my net is typically 3,804.94
Why typically?

• If we have 3 paychecks in a month: enjoy the big fat no medical or union deduction!
• …unless it’s April onwards, when they deduct health insurance from EVERY paycheck to cover your summer months (we call it double deduction season)
• in December we get a premium holiday (1/2 medical deduction)
• I also run an outdoors club at work, which I am paid $35/hr when I run the club and additional pay for certain trips (last month I was paid $375 alone for our annual weekend overnight before vacation). This can be wildly inconsistent but let’s just say I have an extra $100-150 to play with each month.

part 3: please enjoy my emoji'd YNAB categories

category 💲	PAY DEM BILLZ
🏡 1343.38	Putting the PIT in mortgage…or something like that. The other I is paid separately
⛲ 167	HOA
🔐 68.16	Was not required to have insurance at closing. Don’t be stupid like me.
🎓 0	fed loans, thanks Grandpa Joe. I think this will be about $250/m when it starts up again. PSLF date late 2028
⛽ 31	YNAB tells me this is my average since moving to my house. Grateful to have big windows and a “put a sweater on” childhood upbringing – touched the heat twice this year
🔌 50	Averaged to include spicy hot summer months (it was 34 this month)
💻 39.95	interwebs
🏫 412.92	Private loan, paid biweekly (so if it’s a rare 3 payment month it’s more). The minimum monthly payment is something like $316, but I’m sending an extra $50 to get some benefit from the power of compound interest. 4.79% is not a make or break rate. Payoff 2034 but hope this can happen sooner.
📰 12.50	NYT Academic rate
🚊 90	Monthly pass
🍿 15.99	Somebody needs to pay the HBO Max
➖ 2234.43	Assigned this month

⭐

category 💲	important semi-regular expenses
🎁 20	Averaged gifts and donations, we have a special scholarship at work
⛲ 167	HOA
👗 0	I haven’t bought new clothes in a while and it’s starting to show.
🤸🏼‍♀️ 85	trampoline class
👩🏼‍⚕️ 60	YNAB tells me my average is 60/mo, but this is overinflated due to an MRI in November that I will only have to do once more time. I’m usually at the urgent care or a specialist doctor 1x/month (this month: a UTI), so it’s more like 30
🪑 40	Hard to quantify. Since I moved in, I had a free couch moved ($200), bought a very nice TV ($750), a vacuum ($250), filters for vacuum ($30), and the world’s nicest washer ($1900). So YNAB is telling me a horrifying $400/mo, but let’s call it 40 going forward
🌷 0	I was a good urban balcony gardener, but no balcony. Waiting for a community garden spot, hopefully next year
🍉 250	Includes booze and small household things (TP, paper towels, dish soap)
🥾 30	Am avid hiker and rollerblader. Averaged cost of trip incidentals like carpool or snacks, admission to roller rink
💊 55	3 lifesaving medicines (25/mo + 10/mo + 30 as needed) + 10 for whatever medicine needed for illness of the month (10 for antibiotics this month). Every year I get a new epi-pen for 10 or 30. This month was more like 85 because my pharmacy accidentally sent me a med I have plenty of.
➖ 500	rough guesstimate

⭐

monthly 💲	annual 💲	annual expenses (save early, save often)
🤑 3.95	🕛47.33	Splitting YNAB with a friend on the new family plan
💇🏼‍♀️ 22.50	🕛 270	2x curly haircuts a year (cut + tip)
🩰 127.78	🕛 1150	Pair of opening weekend orchestra tickets + donor perks + volunteer dues
🌴 55	🕛 650	My part of family vacation with parents
🕶 33.33	🕛 400	Annual eye visit (exam + contact fitting + 12 months contacts)
📦 11.59	🕛 139	prime shipping, no car in a store desert + my mom likes videos
🎄 50	🕛 600	I love Christmas
💸 ?	🕛 6500	Roth IRA, we’re getting aspirational. I sent $1400 this month because it was a 3 paycheck month. Going to try to max and see how far I get.
🦷 86.35	🕛 2250	Saving ½ of estimated costs for Invisalign – never had braces as a kid and now my teeth are pretty bad. Hoping to start May 2024. There is unfortunately no savings for paying everything upfront so I’m saving ½ now and expecting a monthly payment around 150/mo during the treatment.
➖390.50	🕛 4,686	Ignoring the Roth IRA

⭐

category 💲	very big savings
🌆 428.57	3k goal by August 2023 (current balance: 850), “No August pay” – we don’t get paid in August and the first week of September so setting aside money specifically for this without feeling guilty for draining my emergency fund
🕐 300	(181.82 since I’m ahead) Homeowner’s 1% Warchest, it’s exactly what it sounds like. For any and all home expenses (things breaking or projects). Current balance: 2k
🛑 140.91	Building back EF, goal is 3k by December 2023 (current balance: 1.7k). I know this is low but my job is hilariously stable. I will try to add another month in 2024.

⭐

category 💲	fun money!
💻 50	Laptop replacement, just chucking money in there. I’d like to buy a Lenovo IdeaPad Duet 5i since I love the 2 in 1 form factor. Currently have 100/600
🚝 70 (paused)	Travel fund contribution, but full at 350. BFF getting married in VT in August so hoping to turn it into a girl’s weekend with another BFF
🎮 65 (paused)	General video game fund – keep it topped up at 65 in case a new game drops OR if multiple games go on sale. I try to only buy games on deep sale
🎮 12.99	Final Fantasy XIV sub, I’ll retire someday
👯‍♀️ 50	Anything with friends, including eating out with them. usually 100 in the summer
🍦 30	“eating out” aka solo treats for myself (breakfast at dunks, small treats)
🎊 10	events happening that we want to go to not already covered, averaged.
➖ 202.99	Not including travel and video games since that’s topped up

If you add up the categories, I’m in the red and I’m well aware of it – not for much longer though, as I’m saving really aggressively. 😊
part 4: el diario
Day 1 – Saturday

🌅 gotta get dad to the ballet! 4.80
👯‍♀️ brunch with daddy-o before the ballet, I provide the tickets but he pays for brunch. his wallet is hurting because he only just got paid at his new job, so I kick in 20
👀 because brunch is attached to a swanky hotel and it’s PAX east wknd. 0 for free entertainment
🥤 my father requests a water bottle before the show. 6
🩰 don q, my 3rd time and dad’s 1st. Very good, but very long. 0 because these are volunteer comps
🚊 & 👋🏼
🧼 the casita before the week starts

total: 30.80
Day 2 – Sunday

💤 lazy Sunday morning (dw, I’m still up at 6). Read the NYT cover to cover then play 🎮
🚊 meeting a friend of a friend to help her do taxes but I’m early
📖 it’s gorgeous out so I photosynthesize in the BPL courtyard with my book club book
⛔ the wifi is too slow for us to do taxes so we pack up and 🚶🏼‍♀️ down newbury st until we settle at trident
👯‍♀️ I supervise her taxes, and eat a late lunch (grilled cheese w/ avo and tomato). 22.15
🍉 make the mistake of dragging this poor girl with me to the postage stamp sized TJ’s. and it’s 5:15. one does not shop here so much as get in line at the beginning & pick what you want as you go. a tall person fetches me frozen arepas. I come in right on budget so I’m pleased. 57.52
👋🏼 & 🚊 home to plan my week and decompress with 🎮 and 📖

Total: 79.67
Day 3 – Monday

🌅 it’s just before 6 and birds are happy, but now I am taking the 🚍 to work
🌉 stuck on the bus with my BOSS because a 🚢 is passing through the drawbridge. at least we can now fill out 90 second walk from the bus to dunks with acceptable new england small talk subjects (weather, transit, and sports) before she dips to get coffee
😡 the youth, because tomorrow & wednesday are standardized testing. sorry kids, I don’t make the schedule!
🙏🏼 “my plan is to read the questions carefully and ask God to help me know” – A+ testing strategy
✌🏼 2:30 and on my way home
🤸🏼‍♀️ take the 🚊 to go to bounce (0, see monthly expenses) and catch up with bounce buddy M.
🚶🏼‍♀️ walk with M. to the 🚊, go home for 🍜, 🚿, 📖, 🎮

Total: 0
Day 4 – Tuesday

🌅 hello, happy birds as I walk to the 🚍
🔥 the computers are not charged for testing. teenagers have been divested of all electronics and are not allowed to talk to each other. mayhem approaching in 3 … 2 … 1 …
🤬 nonstatus (male) colleague uses a work group text thread to refer to an unknown female colleague as the b-word. mayhem continues
❓ 2 hour (!) meeting after work due to snow day cancellations. male colleague doubles down on his comment before storming out. brain is mush
🚍 I remember nothing
🔐 as I am politely informed by my e-mail 68.16
👩🏼‍🍳 white bean & tomato stew & watch abbott elementary because it’s cathartic
🗣📕 ballet book club on zoom! we just finished a book about martha graham so we talk about it (I’m hosting next time about james whiteside)

total: 68.16
Day 5 – Wednesday

🌅 please go away, very loud mourning dove
🍎 computers are charged, the youth are not. Mr. Insult has decided not to come to work today (probably for the best?)
🤬 is there something in the water?! another nonstatus teacher informs me that two of my students are talking to each other in the hallway and are not following her instructions which tbh is a day that ends in Y. important context: her instruction is in English and they only understand Spanish. I send them back to their testing rooms and she says, “when students ignore me and continue to speak in a language they know I don’t understand, they are being assholes” UM! GOODBYE!!!
😡 before I say something I regret I turn heel and inform my boss of this interaction. she takes a breath and thanks me for letting her know
😤 this is me taking a calming inhale / exhale before returning to staring at children
🏹 when I am proctoring (read: not allowed to read, grade, do work, browse the interweb), I like to imagine how the hunger games would go down if these kids were in it. the odds are in this room’s favor overall.
👩🏼‍🏫 these miserable youth are forced into a half day of classes, so we conference about grades and I let them have some free time
🏕 run weekly outdoors club for the youth. one student informs me a teacher refuses to sign a permission slip & doesn’t know why. make mental note to find this person and politely inquire. students make a great poster of images from our last trip and practice map skills
✌🏼 at 3:30 to get the 🚂 to then get on the 🚊 to go to 🤸🏼‍♀️ … it sounds awful but it all goes pleasantly smoothly, especially given how the T has been. class is great, lots of one-legged kicking on the trampoline. this is my 2nd week in a row of going from 2x class a week to 3x and it’s a tough adjustment. 0
🚶🏼‍♀️ to the 🚊 with M., who can’t make it to class on Friday – sad!
💊 the medicine I didn’t ask for but keeps coming has arrived. Note to self to call pharmacy and ask them to stop, but says 0 refills. Not a total waste because I KNOW I will get bronchitis again & need this. 10
🍿 paid for to keep my mother happy 15.99
🍴 eat leftover stew and 📞 my mother and best friend T. to debrief this very strange day
🎮 and 📖 before bed

Total: 25.99
Day 6 – Thursday

🌅 ahoy! Run into coworker D. on the 🚍 who gets coffee at dunks. I am feeling weak and acquire some 🥑🍞 3.69
🤝🏼 find this teacher who refuses to sign permission slip (who is also new). his reasons are very valid and we agree on conditions the student needs to fulfill to attend trip. hooray, adults being civil!
🤬 that’s it, something is in the water. two best friends in 3rd hour begin a heated verbal altercation about … a girl? in the middle of my class?? One kid takes off so I call security to let them know he would benefit from a check-in. the other student begins texting threats to his buddy and goes off on me when I tell him to stop. what is happening?!
👼🏼 boy returns with security at end of class, so I walk him to dean to process. 35 minutes later dean says everything is gucci and no more problems. hormones, man.
✌🏼 please get me out of here
💻 bill is paid 39.95
👵🏼 our weekly call (she is my only grandparent and is not doing well)
👨🏼 weekly call with father, who still likes his new job
🍜 leftover stew and Mandalorian with my 👩🏼 (we live text each other). finally, a good space battle!
🎮 and 📖 to decompress along with a long hot 🚿

total: 43.64
Day 7 – Friday

🌅 I don’t think I can do this today.
🧘🏼‍♀️ It has been such a frustrating week (there was another incident that happened that I can’t even reference due to state law/FERPA) that was incredibly traumatic and draining.
📱 to best friend T. and work friend R. to ask what they would do. Both endorse me taking a day off after this wild week.
🎮 and 📖 along with some stretching. 📞 with best friend E. to catch up on her wedding prep and life
🤑 payday! Good paycheck since it’s the 3rd of the month, but it might be missing hours from club. I won’t know until I see my paystub on Monday. +2,183.48 (+50 to 457, +322.94 to pension)
💸 ah, but it’s also the 31st. easy come, easy go 🏡 (1343.38) and ⛲ (167)
🚊 to 🤸🏼‍♀️ to a really 🔥 class. Learn the name of the girl next to me on Fridays who also brings her inhaler and it turns out we’re both teachers!
🍦 take a nice mozzarella sandwich home from tatte 13.97
🚊, 🍴, 🚿, 📖, 🎮

Total: 1,524.35
Grand totals:

• food & drank: 65.81
• entertainment: 15.99
• home & health: 10
• clothes & beauty: 0
• transport: 4.80
• other: 1,618.49 (how I would class my house expenses)

reflection: typical week money-wise in terms of reflecting my non-house spending – I’m saving really aggressively right now and don’t have a lot of money for discretionary spending. Even if I did, I’m very much a homebody during the work week. My job is probably more stressful than most as a baseline but this week was truly unbelievably bad. Still, looking through the week and taking time to step back I realize just how quality my support network is and for that I'm very grateful.