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Forgive me, I am going to rant and scream into the void while I deal with my guilt and frustration. I don't care if this gets taken down, burned or deleted. I NEED TO RANT AND SHOUT. I know I am a bootyhole for exploding. But her behavior lately made me lash out and I am not proud of it. I just need to get this out and I want her to see just how ducked up she is.
No she will never find this because 1. She hates reddit cuz it's all "Fake". 2. She doesn't like social media drama posts or readings - whatever people who read reddit drammas are called. Redditoperas!
This is the only Reddit thing I like and have ever joint or posted to.
Alright. Deep breath.
I Susan (29F) have a cousin Georgette (27F all names are changed) and I absolutely love her, she is practically my little sister, we grew up together and we literally live in the same area (I can walk to her apartment complex by walking through a shared public park) and we interact with eachother constantly. And she emotionally Dumps on me. CONSTNTLY.
She is the female embodiment of lost potential, entitled and lazy spoilt brat. She is smart but so very dumb and lazy. Now mind you she wasn't always like this. In fact when we were in highschool she was the complete opposite. Hardworking, determined, popular with people. It feels as if she peaked did a 180 and then came crashing down the second she turned 21 and had to deal with the real adult world.
This saturday while we were doing our usual dinner and fun night with our friend group which includes my husband Dansen (30M), my cousins Georgette and her older bother Jerry (32M), and two other dudes Kramer (30M) and Elliot (30M) (6 in total).
We all grew up together, went to the same schools and such and funny enough we all still live in the same neighborhood/area but in different appartment complexes and townhomes. That night we were at my Townhome. The men in our group were watching Seinfeld (this is important) and eating pizza, while Georgette and I got into the conversation of her weekly woes. She was complaining loudly and kept interrupting everytime I tried to speak.
Now mind you I am not a patient person, however with Georgette I usually bottle my opinions on her woes and keep my mouth shut, because 1. I don't want to offend her and 2. She is family. I'm not her mom to be telling her what to do, I know.
Despite the rant coming up, she is family, we've been through thick and thin, and I know I'm an arse for blowing up at her and ranting about her life. But something about this week, the stress, her attitude and I-don't-know-what-else-made-me-blow-up. Maybe I was overstimulated because it was loud and I was tired, maybe I just needed to unload on something, I don't know but this is what happened.
In the middle of Goergette complaining about how people look down on her, "the poor nerd" and "The little guy", her parents, her relationships, I snapped. It felt like a tea kettle building up steam until it shouts. So of course I shouted "Will you just Shut up?! I don't want to hear you complaining about your life right now, literally all the problems in your life are your own damn fault! You are just an incompetent loser of a child who thinks the world owes her something because "reasons!" First of all - "
I basically pointed out, complaint by complaint in a rant on how everything is her own fault. Forgive the paragraph of word vomit. The points here are her complaints and my thoughts on the matter, the things in parenthesis are things that I shouted in the middle of my ranting. Yes it was recorded. No I'm not sharing. I'm just writing what I said and screaming into a void.

1. She is sad and lonely because she's single after a 2 year relationship and she misses her ex, terribly. (First of all, that is YOUR fault. GIRL you literally broke up with your boyfriend because YOU, yes, YOU wanted to save face. Becase YOU are so insecure you thought his own sister was a random girl who was trying to "steal" him away from you. That "Oh he likes that ugly girl who is prettier than me, look at the way he hugs her" and "who does he think he is" and that he "looks down on me cuz I'm short and brown". He doesn't by the way, he was willing to stay with you despite all your faults, he genuinly liked you and you dumped him because you cant stand being wrong, but noooooo "he's so booooring. commitment is so boooring, i can't do anything wah wah. You kept being weird with your sister!" and now all of a sudden 2 weeks after breaking up, now that hes gone he's suuuuddenly the "lOvE oF mY LiFe" and the "oNe tHaT gOt aWay! I mEssEd Up sO bAd!! WAH!" baby girl, whose fault is that? You left him! That was your own Damn Fault!! Who the hell wants to date a girl let alone be in a relationship with someone that dumb?)
2. How no men will date her and how all men are trash. ( No one wants you because you are trash! Your attitude is trash! Your personality is trash! Men can't handle me because "I'm a 10", girl you aint a 10. You are an arrogant insecure egotistical maniac who thinks shes a 10 when in reality you're a 3 at best - You literally complain that no one wants you when you literally lie and shoot yourself in the foot. "It's because I'm a nerd!" No, it's because you are an ass, "If they don't like me at my best" is bull crap. They should love me for me, is bull crap, you are all the reasons why no one wants you and you always give way less than the other persons best. You are never at your best, your best is the worst possible thing. You complain to your partner "I'm extroverted I need attention and sunlight" but then when they want to take you out you whine that you wanna stay home and order take out. What the hell is your idea of a good time? Eating nachos in your underwear while watching Bridgerton? Whining about how other people are fake for posting their vacations on facebook? You want people to see that you are "successful" online but then bitch when people know that you are a actually a shut in with bad money. You tell people you are a teacher with a princeton diploma to impress them and then whenthat bites you in the ass, you are too embarrased to admit you are an in debt college dr out part time worker influencer wannabe who still lives with her Mommy and Daddy. So then you start blame to make yourself feel better. You feel entitled to everything because you blame everything. Blame, blame, blame. I can start a whole communist party parade with all the red flags you have. It's not like your the problem, it's not like you make your own problems, you are absolutely perfect and fine just the way you are! The world owes you something because you are Georgette Middlename NolastName. The perfect princess! You're not. You're just a spoilt brat who gets a scott free ride because your parents are too afraid to admit they are failures who didn't raise you right. You don't deserve the amount of praise people give you.)
3. How she can't lose weight even though she is "trying". No she is not trying, she weighs 375lbs and is gaining more weight. (Whos god damn fault is thaAAAAAAAAAT?? Not that there is anything wrong with being plus sized or overweight - Shit who am I to talk, I'm plus sized. Although my BMI - Which has been proven to be BS by the way says I'm "obese" I still make an effort to be healthy! I dont care if people think I'm fat, I like my size and my body. So does my husband. At least I'm not pretending to lose weight and be healthy while shoving a chocolate cake shake in my mouth! There is a huge difference between being body positive or health concious vs someone constantly saying "I'm going to acheive this goal" without actually taking any steps to acheive that goal and making the situation worse. It's like an alcoholic saying "I'm trying to quit drinking" while they are downing tequila shots. No - Girl you aint trying. Not even close. You've been paying for an LA Fitness gym membership for over a year and you never go because you are too tired, you want to play games or do a make up totorial that you never going to post. Working out makes you sweaty and uncomfortable and doesn't " actually help you lose weight, it's all in the food". COME ON. You don't even try to eat healthy because healthy food tastes yucky and you only like good tasting things like Burgerking. Really? You pay for a food subcription that you dont eat because it's too salty, too spicy or it doesn't taste good and then buy fastfood and then complain that you don't lose weight and how your stomach hurts? GEE I wonder WHY?! YOu have Gastrointeritis and you're eating BURGERKING???)
4. How she complains she has a dead end job and how she almost got fired for sleeping at her desk and how her boss is a jerk for daring to ask her to do her job ( Well DUH, IT'S YOUR JOB! How have you not been fired yet? Your Boss caught you sleeping on the JOB! It's bad enough you dont even do it well, you say it's dead end because you are too lazy to do anything else or put in an effort. You didn't even get that job yourself dude, I got you that job as a favor to your Mom. "Oh Susie, please get a spot at your job she needs it!" Sheesh! You didn't even have to do an interview, how does that even work? It's insane that I moved on and you've been doing the same Job stupid job for 5 freaking years. You went to college and flunked out because "I want to be an entrepreneur influencer" or whatever but havent done anything productive in ALL that time. You work as a Printer and mailroom lady at a public school PART TIME. It is NOT that hard! you literally spend hours on your phone and watch netflix all day! YOU GET PAID TO SIT ON YOUR BUTT! AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING?! What is wrong with you? You literally get the summer off and you call in sick for the stupidest reasons! You literally have time to get platnum on overwatch but cant take classes or get a certificate to get a better job because it's too hard, you're tire and you have no time? Really? Maybe if you didn't play Leage until 3 in the god damn morning you wouldn't be so tired all day and appreciate how spoiled, privalaged and ungreatful you are! I would kill to have the amount of support and time you have!).
5. How she doesn't have money. ( YOU complain that you dont have the money to do any fun stuff, fix your car and pay "rent" which you never pay because NEWSFLASH you live with your mom. BUT you spend 300 dollars to do your NAILS and you're broke? You are constantly buying 50 dollar "brand name " make up and clothes for your failing influencer streams and posts, "I'm soooooo broke!!!" You buy 20 dollar character skins on Overwatch for characters you dont even play. You spend 250 a week on take out and because even though you know how to cook and pay for a food subcription, all that food tastes yucky or you don't want to use your moms kitchen cuz she complains when you dont clean up. And you have the audacity to complain? To ask me to buy you stuff and spot you? Like seriously? Aren't you "saving" to move out? You contstantly tell us and brag about how you're moving out and going to be a successful small business owner, but then you spend a bajillion on stupid shit. I know you're getting that money from somewhere and you are in debt. But hot cock on a rock, you are financially and literally irresponsible and you can't see it because either you are an idiot or you know it and think it will just go away. It wont.)
6. How the button on her shorts broke and how dumb it is that she spent so much money on a "BRAND" name item only for the button to break because it is cheaply made. (BRUH YOU BOUGHT IT OFF SHEIN!!! That crap aint Chanel! That stuff isn't Gucci or some other stupid bougee brand! No wonder it sucks and comes apart after two washes! The only reason you bought it is because some rando told you to buy it on TikTok and "iT wAs A DeAl!!" You get that crap a size too small and then are surprised when the seams rip! Gee! I wonder why miss "I'm working out!" )
7. How her Instagram/TikTok and Twitch have barely any views and her Influencer life style is not working out. (BRUH you don't post anything of value, it's a saturated market and when you do post, you don't make an effort to edit or even post or stream at a time that people are willing to watch you. you play obscure games that no one knows about or games that are overplayed by better streamers and influencers. You do make up tutorials, without actually knowing or researching explaining what you are doing or putting on your face. No wonder no one watches you. You obviously arent even trying. You are not going to go viral or make it up there if you are not willing to actually try to do something of value. People are not going to just watch you because you are a girl and have tits.)
8. Her parents being unsupportive. (Your Parents aren't supportive? HOW? you're 27 and living with your parents. Those two idiots love the absolute shit out of you and you don't even know it. You get free housing. They paid for your college and they paid for your car. You don't even pay utilities. They pay for your phone. How are they not supporting you? They even brag about how "our princess is an influencer" and act so proud when you can't keep any followers, keep a man, pass a class or get a decent job. How are they not supporting you?)
9. How she is the victim in life and she is so unlucky. This was the last complaint that made me snap and start this whole tirade. ( You are all the things that are wrong with you and you cause all the problems in your life. You are the girl who peaked in highschool and just thought the rest of the world would cater to you. I don't know how, but your ass is going to be handed to you one day and I'm not going to be there to help you. You have no one to blame but yourself. You are extremely lucky and you don't even know it. I'm sorry for yelling at you and saying all this shit but I am so tired of listening to you complain and act as if nothing in your life has ever been your fault. You are the problem. And I don't think I can handle being around you right now.)

Now before I continue, let me just say. I have nothing against Jason Alexander. Hes a great actor who is severely underrated but I absolutely hate his character from that show. From the whining to the tantrums and relationship problems. I despise George Constanza.
And Georgette is exactly like him and HOLY ITALIAN CANOLI. I can only take so much. In mannerisms, attitude, and sircumstance. She is the female George. Maybe that's why I blew up like that. Who knows. Anyway....
Then it happened.
This entire ordeal felt like watching a car crash -you know how everything will end up, but you cant do anything but watch as the disaster happens and either cringe or look in awe.
At the end of my rant, when the room is quiet and all you can hear is the TV and the sitcom laughter, my Cousin, Georgettes older brother Jerry -bless his stupid heart- suddenly started laughing and said that I was right about it all, Georgette created her own problems and always had an excuse FOR EVERYTHING, of course, we all start arguing. She gives more excuses. We argue some more. There is name calling. And we start taking sides, in the middle of our arguing Georgette screams, Loud and says... "NO NO! Its not my fault! I'm the victem here!! You're just being mean!! ... I'm getting upset!! AHHH!!!" while flailing her arms and stomping her feet like a toddler. And of course there was a pause.
In that second the mentioned character from the show, which was still playing on the TV, shouted loudly "George is getting upset!! AHHHHH!!!" que the bass playing.
Everyone lost it.
The boys of course all started laughing, I started laughing. Georgette not amused starts shouting how it's not funny. "I'm the victem here!" Starts crying and tells us all to "Go to hell." Then runs out the door, fumbles, trips, gets up and shuffles way towards the park and to her Parents apartment gesticulating and yelling the entire way.
I feel bad, but at the same time it feels good to have let all that out.
Even now I feel releif writing this out. I don't care. I'm so done with this life.
Her mom, Estelle, of couse called me and I let everything out on her too - In the end she got quiet and just hung up.
I feel like Quagmire at the end of his "why I don't like you Brian" speech. I said my peace. I know I'm an ass and I think I'm ok with not dealing with my cousin any more.
I don't think I've even cared about her.
I don't think I even want to see her right now. Or ever.
I love her. But do I actually love her or is it because she's always been here and shes family? Have I always been carrying this? I don't know. Maybe I want people to know how I really feel and am hoping this reaches her in some way as a cathartic fuck you. I don't know. I'll talk to a therapist about that on Monday.
Babydoll, if you see this. Get your Shit Together. I'm done. I don't regret doing this. I hope you get better and succeed. I really do. But I Love you and I hate you. I hate that you do nothing to improve yourself and I hate that I'm your Emotional Support Animal. I'm not responsible for you. And it's not my fault that you feel shitty. We may be family, but that doesn't give you the right to make me feel shitty and for your to invide my home with your constant complaining. I'm not a sith. I can't live with negativity and darkness for all my life. You need to be better. And I hope one day we both can be better. But for now. Good Bye.
I'm Done.
If you've made it this far or if this still exists by the time anyone gets to this paragraph, congratulations for letting me scream into the reddit void for 300 hours.
Peace.

A new grave danger to the mental health community… I used to attend peer support groups for mental illness. It helped me deal with my mental health conditions and I got great advice from the group members. I don’t want to disclose my discussions with them or give specific examples but I used to help other people with their mental health issues whenever I thought I could. But one day things changed. The pandemic hit and everything went online. I blindly trusted the organization that hosted these groups with my privacy when everything shifted to zoom. It was unbelievable because people were actually spilling the beans with their personal lives on zoom, an online platform, that was vulnerable to cyberattacks. But I didn’t even consider it or even realize this immediately. I thought that they just couldn’t meet because of COVID. After all the rooms did get kind of crowded when we met in person. After about two years, almost three, the pandemic ended and I wondered if we were ever going to go back in person again… so I asked and neither of the group facilitators could tell me when we would go back in person. So I asked the people running the mental health organization that hosted these groups… never got a response. Now, at this point I decided to look elsewhere for mental health support groups so I found another one that was starting them. And to my surprise… they would all be online… So I thought to myself “ something is going on here…” I looked it up on Google and found this: https://www.itgovernanceusa.com/blog/new-zoom-vulnerability-leaves-users-vulnerable-to-cyber-attacksand this: https://www.infosecurity-magazine.com/news/messages-zoom-expose-cyberattack/and this: https://thehackernews.com/2022/05/new-zoom-flaws-could-let-attackers-hack.html?m=1And, ok you get the idea. So clearly something was wrong. People are going to spill the beans with something that can be hacked by anyone with enough self-taught skills (not by me but by someone actually good) and no one cares about the privacy implications behind what they are doing. No o e questions the system that’s getting them this help. Instead they just blindly accept that the organization helping them can take care of it… But can they? I then asked myself, are there other problems with using zoom? I looked up on Google and found another problem with it besides cyberattacks: https://www.cnet.com/tech/services-and-software/zoom-privacy-risks-the-video-chat-app-could-be-sharing-more-information-than-you-think/That first result was more than enough for me. CNET is a REPUTABLE organization for technology news. Now I could no longer spill the beans at these support groups. But something felt wrong. I had made friends at these support groups. These groups helped me and even alleviated symptoms of my mental health condition. But if zoom is sending data back to big brother, what do I do? What will other people do when they find out that these groups are revealing personal PRIVATE information to Silicon Valley and possibly even US intelligence agencies such as CIA or NSA (for all we know). I wouldn’t be surprised if a whistleblower came out TOMORROW with a secret document (tho I admit they probably won’t) that proved that intelligence agencies had usage for zoom chats. Privacy threats such as cyber attacks and mass surveillance are a HUGE threat to the mental health community. And no one recognizes it. No one even researched it for two minutes. People just blindly accept what they are told. They assume the people running the group they attend can deal with these issues as they arise. The truth is they probably can’t. The only solution is for mental illness support groups, as well as any other support groups to go back in person and ONLY be in-person. No recording. No hybrid. Nada. Zip. Go back to having a private room with no recordings or cameras or Internet access within the room. Problem solved right? But here’s the issue. I emailed the people running several organizations to help the mentally I’ll. They never get back to me. Or they ask me to cite my sources but when I cite them they never read them. I think there’s something psychological going on here where people don’t want to be wrong. And that’s understandable. But until we can accept that this cognitive bias is not rational and that sometimes the thing we don’t want to accept that sometimes the thing we don’t want to hear is the truth, there are many problems that will go unsolved.

I use my desk for 50/50 accounting/gaming. About 4 hours a day of each. This Ikea mash-up is my current setup which by no means is bad, but it's too crowded and I didn't put it together well.
So since this $1k is free, I want to step up the game a bit (and I don't mind throwing in a couple hundred if need be).
My preferences are -

• 70+ inches
• Sturdy desktop
• Convenient cable management/storage
• Can accommodate these massive 38 inch and 34 inch monitors

I don’t care about -

• RGB lighting
• Standing desk (actually prefer not to have it to save money but not a deal breaker)

I almost pulled the trigger on the Magnus Pro XL but the reviews are so all over the place and the price really gets jacked up as you add necessary features. Sketches me out.
I already have monitor arms for both monitors.
I don't mind throwing $20 via venmo for anyone who can find a great match. Thanks in advance!

Long post, non native english, mobile
I've loved my father dearly all my life. He divorced my mom when I was around 10 and left me with her. I never felt anything bad towards him due to that, I actually envied him. Mom was stay at home mom, due to disability also. My mom is a good person, but heavily mentally ill. She really has problems, she went to mental hospitals a bunch of times when I was a toddler and a kid, she experienced nasty side effects from heavy medications. She couldn't quite control herself, but loved me for real, so I suffered some unintentional emotional abuse, as I call it. Unhealthy behaviors, and even though she loves me with her whole heart, I had huge resentment, almost hatred, mixed with love and guilt. Anyway, I haven't talked to her in years, wishing her the best life but far away from me. Should have got me a therapist mom! I got one half a year ago and now I actually enjoy talking to her several times a week.
So, when I was around 14, my paternal grandma (now ~75f) got me to live with her (no custody battle, just an agreement). She is my most important person. She was watching me half of the time anyway through all my life. Sad to say, she was more of a mom to me then a real mom always. I live with her still and do not plan to leave her ever. She has poor health now unfortunately, she don't think she'll live another 2 years.
My father had another daughter, my sis T, in his new relationship (5f). He and another wife were together for 11 years but got divorced MONTH after sister was born, due to my father prioritizing himself. Imaging "wife, you are tired after full day and want me to watch a baby this evening? Sorry, I gotta run my daily 5k, ciao". I don't know for sure, but he can also yell if pressured, so I would divorce him to. Also, he was the one wanting a child.
I've always supported his ex wife, grandma too understood situation very well, but cut ties with her later for unimportant reasons. Now for reasons unknown to me communication between my dad and his ex is very tense, non-existent almost (it was better at some point I think). My sis spend every weekend with us (me father grandma grandpa). Somehow I became the only person speaking to dad ex, about T mostly. That's when I realized how low their communication is actually. I was saying "you know, how T always does this?" and her mom was like "no, she almost never does this in my place" and such.
So, I'm in a home with a little kid, my grandma is not healthy but always does something in a garden or something, grandpa always helps her. And dad... Not watches her to most of the time. And I'm the one communicating with her mom sometimes about important stuff. So months ago I found myself in unhappy position, where I was forced to watch my lovely sis. Dad would just tell me I don't have to, she can entartain herself alone. Yes, but not that much hours! She want attention and playtime.
To be clear, dad is not completely not paying attention, he walkes with her up to 1.5h a day, changes her clothes, lays to bed, manage her toys and things, wipes her. But he doesn't feed her, cannot play, and in the house mostly doing his own thing during the day. That's why I didn't even realize he lacks as a parent for a long time, he does important things by himself. But he doesn't take care for her for like 6 houst a day, and sometimes he loses his temper and bails out of situations.
Her mom is actually the one who helped me realize that and helped me set some boundaries (and talked to my dad too, pretty harshly I guess). My therapist helped too, I see her rarely. But like... Situation didn't change much, I stopped stressing.
And to complete the picture few words about my dear grandma: she can not accept help if her life depends on it. She doesn't have that skill. She always stress the f out of herself cause other person is doing all wrong and slow. She is quick to take responsibility. But her health declined a lot recently (doctors watch her regularly), and she is still adamant to spend all her day in garden just to lay in bed all next dat. She only stops when she feel absolutely awful, stubborn as hell.
So what motivated me to write this post. Today is Saturday, evening, grandma feels bad (as always honestly), but she pulls wonderful dinner for us (she actually couldn't enjoy it herself, she went to bed. Nobody is pressuring her, I swear, everybody only says her to chill all the time). When she was almost done, already feeling very bad, she went to a garden to got greens. She said to grandpa "I need greens, but I can't, I couldn't go that far", he said "I can, let me do it", I overheard and said "I can do it". She brushed him off, said to me I always bring way too little, and went herself. I went after her to help, my sis was playing outside and tried to help. Anyway, she sat in dirt a little, we laughed it off, I couldn't see any sticking to her butt. Grandma was like "we need to wash now, lemme..." but since she was feeling BAD already I cut her and said that's not our problem, that's dads problem.
We went inside, I told dad. He was tired today all day, in that condition his temper is so short almost inexistent, he gets irritated a second he is touched. I know the feeling very well, I got it from him. So I never have a problem feeling that mood of his, "do not disturb" one, since I have it exactly the same. But I know that doesn't mean I now have to deal with everything myself, it's still his responsibility, it is his daughter weekend. So when I told him to check if her pants are dirty he said "no do it yourself", I was like "what do you mean yourself, whose daughter it is", he declined to do crap again, I said "you bring her!", he said something declining again. Anyway I went inspect T's clothes myself, it had a few small insignificant wet spots, I said good enough and didn't do anything.
So just a little later dad was looking after T (his decline was an immediate reaction, out of irritation, not a continuous decision, so even tired he of course didn't abandon her), she changed clothes. He asked her to go upstairs for her inside pants, she declined, he said "may be L(me) will go get it" (not in a manipulative way, he just didn't want to go). I said "no, dOnT tOucH mE". I tried to repeat his phrase with which he declined the first time. So, he just sinhed quietly and went.
My problem is, after recently me noticing he does mess up in his caring for T, and a little speaking with T's mom (she tried her best to not badmouth him to me, I tried my best to not push for information, but some things she said stuck with me), I felt like rose tinted glasses were lifted from me. I absolutely despise how he handles his temper with his strong "no". Idk, he had so sort of therapy, is that why he states his wishes like this? I know in his first marriage with my mom he couldn't really do it, cause she would got hurt, he painfully avoided confrontation and put up with her. But he really could use some "meh... What happened? Can you do it please? One second then..."
And also, today I had this thought. I have naver actually thought about it ever. I don't remember much from childhood (not trauma, just bad memory), but I dont remember him taking me from my mom by himself, on weekends. My grandma did, all the time. I now know he was already with his second wife (T's mom), and I've just remembered she doesn't think children should meet parents new spouses. I met her years later. I think I'm hurt now, cause I suddenly realized, I could honestly expect more from my dad (and could have expected). I love him a lot, we go along really well, and those are really hard feelings for me. I suddenly feel almost betrayed after all these years of pure love and acceptance. Help pls